June 8, 2024 • 11 mins
why is it so difficult to "get better"? why do setbacks happen, forcing us to start from square one? how can we keep moving forward despite this? in today's episode, we will discuss these topics and how we can continue to improve our mental health.
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Website: www.ethanjewell.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Are you proud of where you are in life?
Do you feel as though you've been making progress in healing,
or do you feel like you keep getting set back to square one
and there's nothing you can do about it?
Healing is important, it's crucial, but healing is not
linear. There's no straight line or one
solution. But despite this, we must keep
(00:21):
moving forward. So let's talk about that
process. My name is Ethan Jewell and
welcome back to FEEL Your Feelings.
Through the years I've spent so much time learning and yearning
to improve my mental health. I've started from square 1
(00:42):
countless times, like a race where the finish line keeps
getting further. Sometimes mental health recovery
feels impossible. Trust me, I know that every
morning could bring a new set back.
An inconvenience could take you all the way back to the
beginning. It's frustrating.
(01:03):
That's demotivating. But if you can learn to accept
that recovery and progress isn'tlinear, you can handle these
setbacks with humility and graceand ultimately keep moving
forward. Now listen, I'm not a
professional. I'm not a doctor.
I'm not a psychiatrist, but I ama normal person just like you,
(01:24):
who has felt some very big feelings, has learned from them,
and has moved forward and wants to share my very normal, very
human perspective with you. So thanks for being here and
let's talk about how the processof healing is not linear.
So first, it's important to understand what these setbacks
(01:47):
are and why they happen, becausethey do happen for a reason.
They they're frustrating. And in my head, I'm like, why
can't I just heal in a straight line?
But they happen for a very real reason.
You see, healing is a slow process.
Most of the time. You can't just wake up one day
and feel better. You have to pick the pieces of
(02:08):
yourself off the ground and put them back together slowly.
It's like it's like learning to ride a bike.
It's unstable and steady and uncertain.
You don't exactly know what you're doing.
Nobody does. There's no rule book.
But eventually you'll start to pedal.
Eventually you'll pick up speed and ride away from it.
(02:28):
All setbacks happen in this space of learning, as they do
with any skill being learned. Each set back provides an
opportunity to learn more about yourself and your mental health.
They highlight areas that need more attention and can lead to
greater self-awareness and growth.
These setbacks do happen and it is to highlight the areas where
(02:51):
you are lacking. So let's say one small thing
happens in your day. You know, maybe you spill a
little bit of coffee on yourself, maybe somebody's late
to see you or or something like that and suddenly everything is
so heavy and you just feel set back from one small
inconvenience. There's a reason for that.
(03:11):
That is your brain highlighting the fact that you are not as
healed as you thought you were. It's your brain highlighting the
fact that you are still hurting,that there's still some kind of
trauma or or insecurity or pain that needs your attention.
It it's highlighting what you need to focus on.
Embracing setbacks as part of the journey can transform them
(03:34):
from obstacles in to stepping stones.
I know it sounds cheesy and it'skind of a difficult concept to
grasp, but truly growth comes through hard times, and hard
times are caused by these setbacks.
When you're learning how to ridea bike, you're going to fall at
(03:54):
least a few times. But each of those falls teaches
you to get back up, get your balance right, and try again.
Realistically, fast fixes do notexist in the world of mental
health recovery. That is a myth.
In a fast-paced world, it's natural to want to look for
(04:14):
quick fixes to our problems. But when it comes to mental
health, quick fixes are rarely effective.
Healing takes time and patience.It's important to recognize that
there is no magic solution. Recovery is a gradual process
that requires consistent effort and self compassion.
(04:35):
You might be asking, why is it gradual?
Why does it have to be this way?Healing involves addressing deep
seated issues, some of which mayhave been buried for years.
As we peel back the layers, we might uncover new challenges or
(04:57):
old wounds we didn't even realize were there.
It's like cleaning out a messy closet.
You find things you forgot aboutand it gets worse before it gets
better. This is demotivating.
Imagine you've been doing well for a few weeks.
Maybe you've been going to therapy, practicing self-care,
and starting to feel like yourself again.
(05:19):
Then out of nowhere you have a bad day and it feels like all
your progress has been erased. It's disheartening and can make
you question if you're ever going to truly get better.
Maybe you don't have to imagine this scenario.
Maybe that is your reality. It's hard, so let's discuss some
(05:41):
things that we can do to make this process of non linear
healing a little more bearable. First, we should practice self
compassion. Yes, I mean actively practice.
Treat yourself as if you were a friend going through a hard
time. That means practicing
encouraging self talk instead ofguilting yourself for
(06:02):
experiencing a set back. Instead, talk to yourself with
kind and understanding words. Understand that setbacks are not
a reflection of your worth or effort, but instead a necessary
part of the process. Remember, it is easier to heal
yourself with love than with guilt.
You don't need a reason to feel this way.
(06:24):
You don't need to feel bad for feeling this way.
You can simply feel these setbacks and move forward with
them. Next, continue to treat yourself
like a friend and do nice thingsfor yourself.
Whenever you feel bad, you don'tneed to just sit there and
wallow. You can, you can try your best
to get up, you know, get out, dosomething nice, get yourself a
little sweet treat, you know, godo an activity that you enjoy.
(06:48):
For me personally, I, I'll go tothe gas station, I'll get a
couple of my favorite snacks. I'll put on my favorite movie
instead of just doom scrolling. I'll play some video games, you
know, things that I really enjoydoing.
It doesn't even need to be things that are actively, you
know, actively making your mental health better.
I, I fell into that trap for a while.
Every time I felt bad, I thoughtI had to do something in that
(07:09):
moment to feel better. So I would try to force myself
to like, do something nice for myself and make a healthy meal.
That's so unrealistic. Sometimes you need to just let
yourself feel bad, but do thingsthat you enjoy to make it a
little bit more bearable. Next, we need to set realistic
(07:29):
expectations for this mental health recovery.
Don't expect yourself to be better tomorrow.
Don't expect yourself to be better next week or next month
or even next year. Accept this as a process,
potentially one that will last alifetime.
Fall in love with this process. Fall in love with the small acts
of self-care, the small victories after a particularly
(07:51):
hard day. I would also like to encourage
you to seek professional help. I know you've heard this before,
but truly, if you are deeply struggling, professional help is
one of the best options. They can point you in the right
direction. They're professional for a
reason. When I was struggling the most I
had a therapist that I regularlywould talk to and work out
feelings with. I would recommend looking for a
(08:13):
therapist locally or trying online dash theraycom which I've
put a link to in this episode Descripcion.
If you use that link and then use the code therapy 20, you get
20 ercent off your first month. It's a really easy alternative
to traditional therapy. You can choose from voice, video
or even text therapy and it costs less than traditional face
(08:36):
to face therapy. They have options for pricing
and I just recommend checking out that link in the
description. It can also help to track
progress when struggling with setbacks.
You know, maybe just write down in a journal a few things this
month that you're proud of or itdoesn't even need to be that
close. Maybe this year that you're
proud of. I mean, I'll go ahead and start
(08:56):
this year. I have made a lot of progress
with my mental health. I've been waking up earlier, and
I published my first poetry book.
That's right. Some of you might know that I
actually do write poetry. I've been writing poetry for
five years, and I finally compiled over 100 of my favorite
poems into a book, and it's out now.
(09:19):
I haven't posted an episode in about a month, and part of that
is because I've been pretty busywith this poetry schedule.
So you can go to my website, www.ethanjewell.com, spelled
just like my name, and you can pick up a copy of the poetry
book there. Tracking progress when
struggling with setbacks is very, very important.
(09:41):
Whenever we're faced with a relapse or renewed struggle of
any kind, it can be difficult tosee how far we've come.
Because you, you have come so far further than you may ever
know. You a few years ago would be
proud of where you are now, whether or not you truly feel
that. So take your time.
(10:03):
Slow down. There's no ticking timer,
there's no rush. You are exactly where you need
to be. I know in the age of social
media, in the age of constant movement, in the age of grind
culture and hustling, you feel like you need to always be doing
more. But you don't.
It's OK to be where you are. It's OK to experience setbacks
(10:26):
and start from square one and beOK with that.
It doesn't mean you're doing worse.
It means your brain is highlighting something that you
need to be focusing on. You might not be giving yourself
enough attention. You might need to pay a little
bit more attention to the parts of you that are hurting.
You are doing exactly what you need to be doing.
(10:48):
Be aware of the setbacks, but don't drown in them.
Acknowledge their existence and start fresh.
Know that every time you start fresh, you come back with
knowledge and experience that you didn't have before.
Knowledge and experience that isinvaluable to your healing
process. So stay strong, keep moving, and
never give up. That's going to wrap it up for
(11:11):
today's episode. Thank you so much for being
here. If you need help feeling your
feelings, you should check out my music on all platforms under
the name of Ethan Jewell. I almost guarantee it'll make
you cry. Also, once again, that poetry
book is available now and on my website, ethanjewell.com.
It would mean a lot if you checked it out.
If you're big into poetry, you will love this book.
(11:32):
So thank you so much for being here.
Thank you for understanding thatsetbacks are a part of the
process. And as always, thank you for
feeling your feelings. I'll see you next time.
Are you proud of where you are in life?
Do you feel as though you've been making progress in healing,
or do you feel like you keep getting set back to square one
and there's nothing you can do about it?
Healing is important, it's crucial, but healing is not
linear. There's no straight line or one
solution. But despite this, we must keep
(00:21):
moving forward. So let's talk about that
process. My name is Ethan Jewell and
welcome back to FEEL Your Feelings.
Through the years I've spent so much time learning and yearning
to improve my mental health. I've started from square 1
(00:42):
countless times, like a race where the finish line keeps
getting further. Sometimes mental health recovery
feels impossible. Trust me, I know that every
morning could bring a new set back.
An inconvenience could take you all the way back to the
beginning. It's frustrating.
(01:03):
That's demotivating. But if you can learn to accept
that recovery and progress isn'tlinear, you can handle these
setbacks with humility and graceand ultimately keep moving
forward. Now listen, I'm not a
professional. I'm not a doctor.
I'm not a psychiatrist, but I ama normal person just like you,
(01:24):
who has felt some very big feelings, has learned from them,
and has moved forward and wants to share my very normal, very
human perspective with you. So thanks for being here and
let's talk about how the processof healing is not linear.
So first, it's important to understand what these setbacks
(01:47):
are and why they happen, becausethey do happen for a reason.
They they're frustrating. And in my head, I'm like, why
can't I just heal in a straight line?
But they happen for a very real reason.
You see, healing is a slow process.
Most of the time. You can't just wake up one day
and feel better. You have to pick the pieces of
(02:08):
yourself off the ground and put them back together slowly.
It's like it's like learning to ride a bike.
It's unstable and steady and uncertain.
You don't exactly know what you're doing.
Nobody does. There's no rule book.
But eventually you'll start to pedal.
Eventually you'll pick up speed and ride away from it.
(02:28):
All setbacks happen in this space of learning, as they do
with any skill being learned. Each set back provides an
opportunity to learn more about yourself and your mental health.
They highlight areas that need more attention and can lead to
greater self-awareness and growth.
These setbacks do happen and it is to highlight the areas where
(02:51):
you are lacking. So let's say one small thing
happens in your day. You know, maybe you spill a
little bit of coffee on yourself, maybe somebody's late
to see you or or something like that and suddenly everything is
so heavy and you just feel set back from one small
inconvenience. There's a reason for that.
(03:11):
That is your brain highlighting the fact that you are not as
healed as you thought you were. It's your brain highlighting the
fact that you are still hurting,that there's still some kind of
trauma or or insecurity or pain that needs your attention.
It it's highlighting what you need to focus on.
Embracing setbacks as part of the journey can transform them
(03:34):
from obstacles in to stepping stones.
I know it sounds cheesy and it'skind of a difficult concept to
grasp, but truly growth comes through hard times, and hard
times are caused by these setbacks.
When you're learning how to ridea bike, you're going to fall at
(03:54):
least a few times. But each of those falls teaches
you to get back up, get your balance right, and try again.
Realistically, fast fixes do notexist in the world of mental
health recovery. That is a myth.
In a fast-paced world, it's natural to want to look for
(04:14):
quick fixes to our problems. But when it comes to mental
health, quick fixes are rarely effective.
Healing takes time and patience.It's important to recognize that
there is no magic solution. Recovery is a gradual process
that requires consistent effort and self compassion.
(04:35):
You might be asking, why is it gradual?
Why does it have to be this way?Healing involves addressing deep
seated issues, some of which mayhave been buried for years.
As we peel back the layers, we might uncover new challenges or
(04:57):
old wounds we didn't even realize were there.
It's like cleaning out a messy closet.
You find things you forgot aboutand it gets worse before it gets
better. This is demotivating.
Imagine you've been doing well for a few weeks.
Maybe you've been going to therapy, practicing self-care,
and starting to feel like yourself again.
(05:19):
Then out of nowhere you have a bad day and it feels like all
your progress has been erased. It's disheartening and can make
you question if you're ever going to truly get better.
Maybe you don't have to imagine this scenario.
Maybe that is your reality. It's hard, so let's discuss some
(05:41):
things that we can do to make this process of non linear
healing a little more bearable. First, we should practice self
compassion. Yes, I mean actively practice.
Treat yourself as if you were a friend going through a hard
time. That means practicing
encouraging self talk instead ofguilting yourself for
(06:02):
experiencing a set back. Instead, talk to yourself with
kind and understanding words. Understand that setbacks are not
a reflection of your worth or effort, but instead a necessary
part of the process. Remember, it is easier to heal
yourself with love than with guilt.
You don't need a reason to feel this way.
(06:24):
You don't need to feel bad for feeling this way.
You can simply feel these setbacks and move forward with
them. Next, continue to treat yourself
like a friend and do nice thingsfor yourself.
Whenever you feel bad, you don'tneed to just sit there and
wallow. You can, you can try your best
to get up, you know, get out, dosomething nice, get yourself a
little sweet treat, you know, godo an activity that you enjoy.
(06:48):
For me personally, I, I'll go tothe gas station, I'll get a
couple of my favorite snacks. I'll put on my favorite movie
instead of just doom scrolling. I'll play some video games, you
know, things that I really enjoydoing.
It doesn't even need to be things that are actively, you
know, actively making your mental health better.
I, I fell into that trap for a while.
Every time I felt bad, I thoughtI had to do something in that
(07:09):
moment to feel better. So I would try to force myself
to like, do something nice for myself and make a healthy meal.
That's so unrealistic. Sometimes you need to just let
yourself feel bad, but do thingsthat you enjoy to make it a
little bit more bearable. Next, we need to set realistic
(07:29):
expectations for this mental health recovery.
Don't expect yourself to be better tomorrow.
Don't expect yourself to be better next week or next month
or even next year. Accept this as a process,
potentially one that will last alifetime.
Fall in love with this process. Fall in love with the small acts
of self-care, the small victories after a particularly
(07:51):
hard day. I would also like to encourage
you to seek professional help. I know you've heard this before,
but truly, if you are deeply struggling, professional help is
one of the best options. They can point you in the right
direction. They're professional for a
reason. When I was struggling the most I
had a therapist that I regularlywould talk to and work out
feelings with. I would recommend looking for a
(08:13):
therapist locally or trying online dash theraycom which I've
put a link to in this episode Descripcion.
If you use that link and then use the code therapy 20, you get
20 ercent off your first month. It's a really easy alternative
to traditional therapy. You can choose from voice, video
or even text therapy and it costs less than traditional face
(08:36):
to face therapy. They have options for pricing
and I just recommend checking out that link in the
description. It can also help to track
progress when struggling with setbacks.
You know, maybe just write down in a journal a few things this
month that you're proud of or itdoesn't even need to be that
close. Maybe this year that you're
proud of. I mean, I'll go ahead and start
(08:56):
this year. I have made a lot of progress
with my mental health. I've been waking up earlier, and
I published my first poetry book.
That's right. Some of you might know that I
actually do write poetry. I've been writing poetry for
five years, and I finally compiled over 100 of my favorite
poems into a book, and it's out now.
(09:19):
I haven't posted an episode in about a month, and part of that
is because I've been pretty busywith this poetry schedule.
So you can go to my website, www.ethanjewell.com, spelled
just like my name, and you can pick up a copy of the poetry
book there. Tracking progress when
struggling with setbacks is very, very important.
(09:41):
Whenever we're faced with a relapse or renewed struggle of
any kind, it can be difficult tosee how far we've come.
Because you, you have come so far further than you may ever
know. You a few years ago would be
proud of where you are now, whether or not you truly feel
that. So take your time.
(10:03):
Slow down. There's no ticking timer,
there's no rush. You are exactly where you need
to be. I know in the age of social
media, in the age of constant movement, in the age of grind
culture and hustling, you feel like you need to always be doing
more. But you don't.
It's OK to be where you are. It's OK to experience setbacks
(10:26):
and start from square one and beOK with that.
It doesn't mean you're doing worse.
It means your brain is highlighting something that you
need to be focusing on. You might not be giving yourself
enough attention. You might need to pay a little
bit more attention to the parts of you that are hurting.
You are doing exactly what you need to be doing.
(10:48):
Be aware of the setbacks, but don't drown in them.
Acknowledge their existence and start fresh.
Know that every time you start fresh, you come back with
knowledge and experience that you didn't have before.
Knowledge and experience that isinvaluable to your healing
process. So stay strong, keep moving, and
never give up. That's going to wrap it up for
(11:11):
today's episode. Thank you so much for being
here. If you need help feeling your
feelings, you should check out my music on all platforms under
the name of Ethan Jewell. I almost guarantee it'll make
you cry. Also, once again, that poetry
book is available now and on my website, ethanjewell.com.
It would mean a lot if you checked it out.
If you're big into poetry, you will love this book.
(11:32):
So thank you so much for being here.
Thank you for understanding thatsetbacks are a part of the
process. And as always, thank you for
feeling your feelings. I'll see you next time.
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