April 22, 2024 • 36 mins
Laura Faust of Mama's Village joins Fireflies and Whoopie Pie to talk about creating a new community for moms in South Central PA, the Mamapalooza event, mom guilt, and talking about why moms are able to make friends, but dads just aren't. SHOW NOTES: Mama's Village Facebook group Mamapalooza Mama's Village Facebook page Mama's Village Instagram page
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Episode Transcript
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Cassy (00:07):
Hi, and welcome to the South Central Pa mom, Fireflies and Whoopie Pie podcast, where
we discuss motherhood, local events, andeverything in between right here and south
central Pa.
So sit back, grab a coffee a while, and settle
in for the show.
Laura (00:27):
Hi, everyone.
Cassy (00:28):
Welcome back.
This week we have Laura Faust from Mama's
village joining us.
Laura, thanks for being here.
Laura (00:34):
Yeah, thank you for having me.
Cassy (00:36):
So last year we wrote an article about your mama Palooza event.
How did that end up going?
Laura (00:46):
So Mama Palooza went really well last year.
It was clearly our first year, but we had suchan amazing turnout.
We had such great vendors, great activities,and we just really felt the support of the
community and were able to show up for thosemoms in the area.
Cassy (01:02):
And so give me a little bit of, like, some background, I guess, for people who maybe
aren't familiar, like, how did this wholething get started?
Laura (01:12):
Okay, well, it's a little bit of a doozy how this all got started.
So Mama Palooza is an event for moms in thecentral Pa area.
And the reason it got started was actuallybecause of a Facebook group called all Moms of
Hershey and Harrisburg.
In the group, one of the moms posted this sort
(01:33):
of meme, you know, looking for moms who wantto sit margaritas and rent a water slide for
the kids.
And the post got a whole lot of interest.
And so from that post, a couple of us gottogether and decided like, hey, let's make
this happen.
Let's kind of create an event where moms can
come together and just enjoy themselves andthe kids can run free.
(01:55):
And we initially were planning on hosting iton my personal property at my house, but it
just kind of blew off.
So that wasn't going to work out.
And we ended up visiting this park inGrantville, Pennsylvania, called HM, Levitts
Memorial park.
And just looking at the park, it was like the
perfect setup.
It was private, it was big, big.
(02:17):
And we thought, you know what?Let's move it here so we can have as many
people as we can.
And that was kind of how Mama Palooza and
Mama's village were born.
So, yeah, it was all very fast moving, fast
paced.
It was a complete whirlwind, but it was a
really fun, you know, summer of planning itand executing Mama Palooza.
Cassy (02:41):
And so what, what all kind of, like, activities and stuff did you guys have there?
Laura (02:47):
So last year, we really focused on kind of providing a space for moms to connect.
So we had activities for the kids in order forthem to kind of be able to, you know, be free,
let loose, and the moms to talk, for the momsto talk to each other.
And we had princesses coming by.
We had a photographer who was doing free mommy
(03:09):
and me sessions for the moms.
Yeah, that was really fun.
I thought that was a really neat way to getthe moms to, you know, kind of just have
something for themselves.
But we had bounce houses.
We had field games that the kids and the momscould join in playing.
We had raffles.
We had a lot of vendors.
And all of our vendors offered a free activityfor the moms or kids, allowing them to have,
(03:33):
you know, another.
Something else for them to do.
We had somebody face painting.
You know, we had food that was free.
And so it was just really just kind of a giantpicnic.
Now we're trying to evolve that idea a littlebit more, but we still want to stick to those
roots as well.
Cassy (03:50):
Well, and you from there, that was how Mama's village itself got founded.
And so what.
What does Mama's village do?
Laura (03:59):
So Mama's village mission is really to connect mothers with each other and to
resources that can help them.
So right now, we host a monthly mothering
circle, which is a way for moms to come outand just meet other moms and allow their kids
to meet other kids, but in a safe environmentsomewhere where everything feels just safe and
(04:22):
welcoming.
So that's one of our main things that we do.
And we also are trying to get off the ground aprogram to help moms tidy and organize their
homes, help them with laundry.
But that is really in its early stages.
But it's just, you know, we're really allabout connecting moms with each other and
allowing them to kind of, you know, just havesomeone to go to, someone to find their
(04:47):
support within.
Yeah.
Cassy (04:50):
Because, I mean, I know that that, for me, you know, it's.
Oh, gosh, it's.
It's so hard to just meet other people like
other moms.
I mean, like, you have your kids, and that in
and of itself, it's like I can't get out ofthe house because then I have to bring all my
kids with me, and that's a huge pain in thebutt.
(05:11):
And, you know, it just becomes reallystressful.
And the problem with that is that, I mean, youcan't do this alone.
You have to have the support.
I mean, not just, you know, family and
everything is great or having resources inyour community, but, I mean, friendship is
really, really important.
Laura (05:30):
Yeah. And that's kind of where we lean at.
You know, I think that there's something to besaid about that kind of emotional aspect of
momhood, of needing someone to support youemotionally.
I mean, like you said, family is great.
It's very important.
But not everybody has that.
And that's really where friendships come in,
really where, you know, mentorships come in.
(05:51):
Even having a mom that's a little more
experienced than you, that you can go to and,you know, seek advice from, that's really,
really important.
And we do focus in on that.
We want to make sure that moms are able tomeet other moms that they can connect with and
that they can form, you know, a relationshipwith.
Cassy (06:11):
Yeah, it's.
It's. I mean, even if you do have family
nearby, though, you know, like, there's.
There's such a difference between the support
you get from your family and the support youget from friends, especially people who are
also moms and who know what it's like.
You know, like, there is a huge difference
when I'm hanging out with my parents, youknow?
(06:32):
And, I mean, it's like they're helpful orwhatever, but you still kind of get that,
like, maybe eye rolling because you don'tparent the way that they would have or
something.
I don't know.
Whereas when you have, like, your mom friends,it's like they get it.
And, you know, if you're.
Laura (06:46):
You know, when.
Cassy (06:47):
When my friends come over with their kids, it's like they can understand.
Like, look, this house is already a mess.
It's okay if your kids make a mess or if they
break something, it's cool.
Or if they're running around screaming and you
have to stop talking every 2 seconds.
Like, I get it.
You know, it's like having those people whoare meeting you in that same place as where
(07:08):
you are is like, just so important.
Laura (07:11):
It is.
And that's so funny that you say that, because
it's true.
I think our parents are, you know, they're
wonderful support, but the truth is that youkind of always feel.
Not necessarily a judgment behind it, but, youknow, they're.
They have a little bit of a different way ofdoing things.
And I. I've definitely felt that before versusmy friends.
I feel like they know that my house is a messbecause they're in that same stage as me.
(07:34):
Right.
And so it's really important to have those
relationships that you feel like you're kindof in the same zone, same era.
So parents are wonderful.
They're wonderful support, but there's nothing
to be said for having a friend or, you know,somebody that's in that same stage as you are,
it really does feel different.
The connection is different.
(07:54):
The support is different, and that's justreally important.
Cassy (07:59):
Yeah. And what has the, how has the response from the community been since you
guys started with Mama Palooza and Mama'svillage?
Laura (08:08):
I think the response has been great.
A lot of moms out there are looking for this
type of support.
I think that's something that we have been
working on, is kind of incorporating all theseideas that we have.
I think it's a little difficult becausethere's so much that we want to do, and we've
(08:29):
had such great support from the community, butimplementing it has been a little bit tough
here and there, so it has been good.
I think that we're looking always for people
that want to jump in and help out, and sothat's always welcome.
Like, if anybody wants to jump in and help outwith, you know, their own idea or even just
(08:49):
establishing one of the ideas that we've beenworking on, you know, including, like, the
tidy tribe or mothering circle, it's alwaysreally helpful to have that support as well.
Cassy (09:00):
Yeah. And, I mean, that, that makes sense.
And how has it, how long has Mama's villagebeen officially an organization now?
Laura (09:10):
So we've been officially an organization since July, so it hasn't been
that long.
We haven't celebrated our first year yet.
I'm honestly really proud of how far we'vecome and all that we've done in this short
amount of time because it's quite a lot toplan events.
We jumped into this relatively blind, and Ithink we've done a good job at it, but it is
(09:33):
something that requires a lot of us andespecially being that this is not a full time
job for us.
Like, we are still moms.
We're still in that season, so we're kind ofjuggling a lot as it is, so.
Yeah.
Cassy (09:49):
Yeah. And how would you say that it's been, like, growing a lot, just even though, I
mean, it hasn't been a year, but, you know,like, with, like, you have events besides mom
of Palooza or what are, you know, what are youguys doing in addition to that?
Laura (10:06):
So that's a great question.
So we, right now, mom Palooza is our main
yearly event.
However, we are working on establishing mom
only nights out.
You know, we recognize that there's a really
big need in the community for not just momentswith our kids, but also moments to be just
(10:26):
women and just have fun with other women whoare mom just as we are.
We are kind of planned those smaller type ofevents where we host that, you know, local
wineries and just, you know, other places thatwe can have that time to come together as
women.
But this is kind of our yearly event.
(10:46):
This is our biggest event, and it is the onethat we're focusing the most on right now,
just, you know, still being in these earlystages, being in that first year.
Cassy (10:57):
And what are you planning for the second edition of Mama Palooza?
Laura (11:04):
So for the second edition of Mompalooza, we're really excited because we
are bringing something new to the table.
We are planning on having a pampering session.
So we're in the works with having somebodycome in and offer free facial.
Sorry, low cost to free facials.
We're still working out the details as well as
(11:25):
waxing.
And so that's going to be really fun because I
think who doesn't love having a facial andjust relaxing and enjoying something for
themselves?So we're working on that.
And we're working on hosting a motherencircled at Mama Palooza, which is going to
be kind of just a time for women to come downand enjoy themselves and relax.
(11:49):
We're going to have the whole park rented outthis year, which we did not do last year.
So we're really excited for that.
We're having prince.
This is at the park again.
We are having inflatables, you know, all of
that.
We're going to have some music, some live and
some entertainment, and we're going to havesome food and all that.
So, yeah, it's just going to be kind of, youknow, the same as last year, but we are adding
(12:11):
that pampering session, which we think will bea great addition.
Cassy (12:16):
Yeah, I would definitely not say something like that.
And you know what I mean.
I know you guys are still new, but since you
guys have been working on this, what would yousay in the area you're seeing that moms are
struggling with the most?
Laura (12:36):
That is a really good question, I think.
Well, let's see.
I think that one of the things that moms are
struggling with the most is making connectionswith other moms and making friendships.
I think that as adults, we don't talk aboutenough how.
How hard it is to make friendships.
And as moms, we don't talk about enough, like,
(12:58):
how lonely motherhood can be.
And I see that a lot in the community.
I see it, you know, even just, like onFacebook groups, I see moms posting
constantly, hey, I'm looking for a friend.
I feel really alone, and I think that it's
really isolating, and that's really difficultto deal with.
So I think that's something that moms arereally struggling with, and that is a gap that
(13:20):
we're trying to fill.
I think that it's hard because even having
these events and everything, it's hard to showup.
For some moms, the social anxiety is real.
And I get it.
I really get it because you're coming into aspace where you might not know anybody, you're
coming into a spade where other people mightalready know each other, and that feels
(13:42):
intimidating.
That really does.
I think that that's something that ourcommunity is struggling a lot with, and that
is something that we're hoping to worktowards, towards fixing.
I think that something else that moms arestruggling with is also kind of something that
our tidy tribe is trying to address, which isoverwhelming housework and tidiness and
(14:06):
organization.
I feel that, and I think a lot of moms feel
that.
Actually, I just got a message from a friend
of mine this morning that one of her Facebookfriends posted that she was looking for
somebody to come help or organize, and she'slike, oh, can you guys help her?
Because it's overwhelming to think, you know,not only are we taking care of the kids, but
(14:27):
we're also taking care of the household.
So that's kind of where the tidy tribe wants
to step in.
And again, we're still in the very early
stages of establishing that program, but, youknow, just kind of helping moms just, you
know, get everything together so that they canbe the best version of themselves they can be
and that they can thrive.
Cassy (14:48):
Yeah, it's.
I mean, you see a lot on social media about
the mental load that falls on moms.
And, I mean, I personally feel like that's
something that is really, really true.
Laura (15:00):
Yes. You know, just.
Cassy (15:01):
And. And that's.
That's not even to say, like, my husband is
probably, like, more of a clean freak than Iam.
So it's not like, you know, by saying that,and no one's saying, like, your husband or
your spouse, you know, if you're.
If you're an lgbt family or your single
mother, whatever.
Like, it's not saying that other people aren't
(15:22):
contributing, but, you know, just in myexperience, anyway, it's like, moms are the
ones you have this constant running tally of,you know, well, this kid has gymnastics
practice, but, you know, we need to get thisdone, and then I've got this.
I need to make for dinner, and then tomorrowwe have to do this.
And it's like, everything is just, you're theone that's always juggling these things all
(15:43):
the time.
Laura (15:44):
Yeah. And it's that idea of, like, being that default parent.
And, you know, I don't throw that aroundlightly because I feel like that's.
I don't know, I feel like that's really harsh.
And obviously, like, my husband is such a
great help, for example, but that doesn't meanthat the mental load is always taken off my.
Of me.
You know, I'm still thinking about all the
appointments we have and all the things thatneed done around the house and all of the
(16:06):
things going on around.
Um, no matter how helpful he is, that's still
on my mind, and it weighs heavily.
And I think a lot of women, a lot of moms
would resonate with that, you know, with thatthought.
Yeah.
Cassy (16:19):
And it's, it's when you've got all that stuff that's in your, in your brain, too, it
can also feel like I can't take a stop, take aminute to stop and do something for myself,
because if I don't do this, then it's notgoing to get done.
And even if that's not true, you know, it'slike, it's like one of those things where if I
(16:40):
were to really stop and, like, practicallythink about it, if I were to go tell my
husband, like, hey, I need you to do this, hewould, he would do it, you know?
But it's like there's this feeling where it'slike, no, I need to do it because if I don't,
that I'm failing.
Laura (16:54):
Yeah, I completely.
I resonate with that.
Completely.
I think that.
Yeah.
And it's hard because how do you, how do you
kick that off?You know, how do you kick off that thought of,
like, okay, I need to just let him do it or,you know, let somebody help.
Sometimes we put a lot of pressure onourselves as moms to do everything and.
Yeah, I completely agree with that.
Cassy (17:16):
Yes. Because it's.
Oh, man, it's like the mom guilt, you know?
Laura (17:24):
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Cassy (17:25):
It's, it's so hard because it's, it's like it's always there.
Laura (17:31):
Yep. That mom guilt is really real.
I think that it's something, you know, it's so
funny because before becoming a mom, I wouldhave never expected.
I don't know, there's so many things I didn'texpect about motherhood, and that was
definitely not one of them.
But, like, once you're in the throes of it,
you know, you realize, like, you do feel thata lot.
And it's there.
Cassy (17:52):
Oh, yeah.
Because it.
Laura (17:54):
It's.
Cassy (17:55):
It's just like, oh, God. Like.
Like you're failing if you're not getting all
these things done.
And it doesn't matter if it's getting done,
but you're delegating, you know, like.
Like, ridiculous when you think about it,
because if you were at a job and you were,say, a manager and you delegated and the task
got done, but you didn't personally do it, noone would say, oh, you're doing a bad job.
(18:18):
So it's like, why do we feel like that as amom?
Laura (18:20):
Yeah, I know.
I completely agree.
I. Yeah, it's.
It's real.
Like the mom.
Like, even sometimes, you know, I've had.
I'm really lucky to have great support in myin laws, and I will, you know, like, there's
times when I've asked him to, like, watch thekids so I can get house clean for a little
bit, but yet I feel guilty because I wasn'table to, like, chug, like, why can I clean the
house and watch the kids at the same time?But it's just, realistically, it's easier if
(18:43):
they'll watch them, and I can do, like, a big,deep cleaning.
Cleaning.
So there is definitely that guilt aspect of it
constantly, like, left and right.
It's really hard to deal with.
Cassy (18:56):
Oh, yeah.
And it's.
You ask people for help, for example, like,with cleaning.
But then that can be one of those.
It doesn't matter how bad you need it or how
much you have on your plate, you know, youstill feel like, well, I am failing, and now
I'm inviting someone to see that I'm failing,which is something that, like, we just.
We have to get past.
Laura (19:15):
Yeah, that can definitely be hard.
I think that that has been something like, you
know, one of our co founders, Jessica, she isreally the one heading up the tidy tribe.
Like, that's more of her project, and she'stalked to me about that.
Like, you know, how hard is it for people toinvite, you know, strangers or even, like,
(19:36):
acquaintances into their space when it's sucha mess?
You know, like, it is kind of a mental barrierthat we have to overcome.
And I get it.
Even me, like, you know, that I'm trying to
help her, like, you know, spearhead this.
Even I have trouble inviting someone into my
mouth because it's, you know, it's hard.
It's very intimidating.
And, you know, that's something that I thinkthat as we work through, you know, being a
(20:01):
little bit more.
I don't know, to say open or just receptive.
Like, you know, we.
It's a mental barrier that we have to
overcome, but it's a hard one to overcomebecause there is a lot of, you know, you're
going to feel.
You're going to feel judgment, even if there
is no judgment in reality.
Like, we kind of feel that we take that on
ourselves, because I know that I do.
Cassy (20:23):
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's.
Oh, my goodness.
It's like, there's this societal image that,
you know, you see it in, like, sitcoms andmovies and everything.
Even when you see, like, in a movie orwhatever, like, the messy mom.
Like, she's still messy in an acceptable way.
Laura (20:45):
Yeah, that is so true.
Cassy (20:48):
And I think her clothes are messy, but her house is okay, you know?
Laura (20:52):
Yes.
Cassy (20:53):
You know, so it's like you have this feeling, like, oh, my gosh, my house is a
wreck, and maybe my mom has cancer, and I'vegot three kids and I'm working full time, and,
you know, I just had to take my dog to thevet.
So it's like, you have all of these reasonswhy it's okay.
Like, only one person, you can only do somuch, but you still feel like this is on me.
(21:13):
Like I should be doing more.
Laura (21:15):
It's like, it's.
Cassy (21:15):
No matter how much is piled onto our plate, we always feel like I need to be doing
more.
Laura (21:19):
Yeah. And I think that a lot of it, too.
Even, like, social media really plays a big,you know, a big role in that, too, because
you'll see these moms in social media, andtheir.
Their house is looking perfect.
Or, you know, they'll do a video where they're
cleaning, but it's really not that dirty.
You know, you definitely think they might have
done a little pre cleaning there, and, like,you kind of feel guilty because my house does
(21:40):
not look like that most of the time.
It looks really a lot worse than that.
But, you know, I think that at the end of theday, like, we are all moms.
Like, I know that I would never walk intosomebody else's home and, you know, make them
feel any sort of negative way.
Like, I would never have any negative thought,
because I get it.
I'm there, too.
(22:00):
And so I think that that's important toalways, like, keep that in mind and to kind
of, you know, just, I don't know, just keep itin mind.
But it's hard.
It's hard to.
Yeah.
Cassy (22:11):
And. And I think that comes back again to the importance of community.
Community I can say that word.
And, like, and I mean, not just having, like,
again, there's a difference between thesupport of, you know, local resources or your
parents versus people who are also moms andwho get it.
(22:32):
You know, like, it is, it is such a greatfeeling when you have those friends that they
can come to your house or you can go to theirhouse, you know, and it's like everything's a
wreck and they're still in, like, theirsweatpants and it doesn't matter.
Like, no one's going to judge each otherbecause everyone knows how it is.
It's like you need that.
(22:52):
Everyone needs that.
Laura (22:54):
You do.
You really do.
I just, you know, it's so funny because I justmade a new friend, a local mom, because I
don't live in the Harrisburg area.
I mean, I'm a little bit, I'm an hour away, so
I travel down a lot, but, you know, I, I havea lot of friends down there, but I just met a
local mom who lives about 15 minutes from me,and it's been such a big blessing.
(23:16):
And we were just talking because she came overthe other day and she's like, oh, don't worry.
You'll get to the point where you don't needto feel the need to clean for me.
And I was like, okay, thank you.
Because, you know, I definitely did some
cleaning before she came over because I'mlike, oh, gosh, she's going to, you know,
she's going to think I'm a total, total slobhere.
But, you know, you do need those mom friendswhere you don't feel like you need to clean
(23:36):
for them.
And that was so, like, when she said that to
me, I was like, oh, thank you.
Like, I do hope we get to that point because
that would be really nice.
You know, you don't want to feel like you need
to keep up with, you know, your housecompletely just because you want to have some
friends over.
So I think there's something beautiful about
having friendships with moms who are in thatsame stage, who are in that, you know, same
(23:57):
mindset because it really just, you know,makes you feel so much better.
Cassy (24:03):
Oh, yeah.
Because it's, it's funny, too, because, you
know, men, I've noticed, have a much hardertime, even as hard of a time as it is for moms
to, like, make friends, you know, just becauseof everything we have, you know, I see a lot
of these studies and everything, and then justmy own experience, like, men are dealing with
loneliness even worse than women are, youknow, this notion of having, like, close
(24:27):
friends with men is.
Is kind of failing.
And it's funny because this whole notion of,like, messiness, you know, in your house,
like, I see that firsthand, you know, like,when my close friends come and I'm like, oh,
hey, you know, Tara's coming over for dinnertonight, and he's like, oh, we got to get the
house clean.
I'm like, no. Like, no, it's.
(24:47):
Tara, you don't.
You don't need to clean anything.
Yeah, but it's like, they don't get thatbecause they don't have that, I guess,
closeness.
And not only just the closeness, but, like,
the.
The.
Oh, man, what's, like, self assurance, Iguess, like, the knowledge that, like, it's
okay.
They get it.
They got kids, too.
(25:07):
They know what it's like.
It's cool.
Laura (25:09):
Yeah. Yeah, I definitely see that.
I think that men do kind of struggle more with
that.
I think that.
I don't know.
I mean, I just think the sisterhood tends to
be a little bit more, you know, we bond alittle better, I think, where men's kind of
have some defenses up, at least from what I'veseen, this.
Yeah.
So I do see.
I do see that struggle, for sure.
(25:31):
And I think that it would be great if, you
know, we had something for men in thecommunity, for dads, even they would go.
I know they wouldn't, but so we kind of jokedabout it because we're like, we need to.
Like, we'll be the ones planning it for thembecause, you know, they would never plan it on
their own, you know?But they need it.
But they do need it.
(25:51):
Like, it would be great for them.
Cassy (25:53):
Oh, yeah.
Like, okay, so one of my kids has down
syndrome, and so I'm in a down syndrome momlike support group.
I mean, it's support group.
I mean, we're friends, you know, it's more
just mom friends talking about mom stuff, youknow?
And from there, they created a nonprofitcalled the Down Syndrome Diagnosis Network.
And they have a retreat every year, and theyhave one for moms, and they have one for dads.
(26:19):
There are, like, thousands of moms that go tothis, and for the dads, one, it's like 100,
maybe.
Laura (26:26):
Oh, my goodness.
Cassy (26:28):
You know, and the same, like, they have Facebook groups for all this stuff, you know?
Laura (26:32):
And it's.
Cassy (26:32):
It's moms, like, 90% of his moms.
And it's, you know, a lot of it is, like, age
groups.
So they have, like, by age, and then they
have, like, adoptive parents, LGBTQ parents.
Like, you know, heart defect parents, cancer
parents, whatever.
And then you have, like, the dad's groups.
Laura (26:48):
Oh, my God. That. That is how it goes, isn't it?
That is so funny.
I know.
We. We really.
The men.
Men need it.
I just, you know, it's just kind of getting
them there.
It's a bit of a process.
Cassy (27:02):
Oh, yeah.
It's like you have to drag them almost like,
kicking and screaming.
Like, hey, hang out with these other families.
And then we're gonna.
I'm gonna make you make friends with these
people whether you like it or not.
Laura (27:14):
That is how it goes.
But see, I tend to feel like at least my
husband, you know, like, I might have to draghim there, but then he'll enjoy it.
He'll be like, oh, you know, they were nice.
I actually enjoyed my time.
Cassy (27:26):
Oh, yeah.
Like, my husband, as an example, is the most
extroverted person on the planet.
So, like, he will talk, you know, the ears off
of anyone who will stand around, listen.
But, you know, if we.
I'm like, you need to go, like, make somefriends.
And he's like, I don't need friends.
You're my best friend.
And I'm like, no, no, no. That's so verysweet, but no, you need your own friends.
Laura (27:49):
That's funny.
Cassy (27:54):
But it's, you know, at least, I guess moms are more willing to put themselves out
there to recognize that they have that need.
And like, hey, I need to find something that
can help me with this.
Laura (28:08):
Yeah. And I don't know.
I think that.
I think as women, like, we do tend to be moresocial creatures.
Like, as far as, like, needing thatsocialization, like, I don't know.
I've seen that a lot.
At least, like, in my immediate surroundings,
that we do kind of seek that out more.
Like, my husband's happy to kind of spend some
time more on his own where I'm like, no, Ineed socialization.
(28:30):
And I think a lot of that has to do with thefact that I'm home with the kids all the time,
that I feel like I need that also adultinteraction, because that's a whole other host
of things.
Like, you know, if you're.
If you're a mom, that is, you know, with yourkids a lot, whether it's because you're a stay
at home mom, you're working from home,whatever it may be, like, you're spending a
lot of time with your kids.
(28:51):
Like, you need that adult interaction.
You need time to just be around other adults.
And, like, I see my husband, like, he gets to
spend time at work and, like, yeah, he'sworking, so I'm not going to take away from
that.
But he's still talking to other adults, and
I'm here talking to my three year old all day,you know?
So I think that the needs for socializationtend to look a little different depending on
(29:12):
what your situation is, for sure.
Cassy (29:14):
Well, and even that, you know, to an extent, goes back to the mom guild, you know,
where.
So, like, my husband, you know, he plays
hockey, and it's like a fun, you know, guys,whatever league.
So he goes once a week and he plays hockeyand.
And I'm cool with that.
I have no problem with that.
But if it were me, like, I have such a hardtime, and I, he wouldn't, he wouldn't care.
(29:37):
He would say, absolutely.
If I were like, hey, I want to go once a week
to go do whatever, he'd be like, yeah, do it.
But it's like, I can't.
I have this, that, like, I can't ask, youknow?
Laura (29:47):
Yeah. Oh, yeah, I totally get that.
And I'm the same way.
I. You do kind of feel like, I don't know, itjust, it almost feels, like even thought, you
know, you have shared responsibility.
It almost just feels like it's your
responsibility.
Like, I have to be there.
Like, but it's not true.
Like, you have shared responsibility.
You have a partnership with your, with yourpartner, with your husband, but it does almost
(30:10):
feel like it's all falling on your shoulders,even though it doesn't need to, you know, at
all times, at least, you know, in somesituations.
But, yeah, it's, it's definitely hard.
And it does tied into that mom guilt.
Cassy (30:23):
Yeah, because it's, it's like, what? Like, okay, so my husband can go play hockey
once a week, but I can't go up the street tothe library to, like, learn to crochet at the
crochet group they have.
Laura (30:35):
Yeah.
Cassy (30:36):
Like, why can't I do that?
Laura (30:38):
I know.
I, you know, it's so funny because I was just
thinking of taking up pottery.
They have something locally, and I'm just
like, oh, how cool would it be for me to dopottery, you know?
But I'd have to commit, like, once a week inthe evenings.
And I'm just thinking to myself, I'm like, amI really going to ask my husband?
I don't know.
Like, I was just, like, thinking about it, and
I'm just like, now that we're having thisconversation, I'm like, why was I thinking
(30:59):
about it so hard.
I totally should do it.
Like, there's nothing wrong with that, but,you know, the thought is there.
Cassy (31:04):
Mm hmm.
Laura (31:05):
Yeah.
Cassy (31:06):
I have been thinking about this, like, for weeks, if not months.
Like, oh, yeah, I want to go do this, and Ijust don't.
I don't even know why.
I don't.
I just.
It's like.
Just this feeling, like I have to be the onethat's there.
Laura (31:19):
Yeah.
Cassy (31:20):
You know, like, if I'm not there to make dinner and put the kids to bed and
everything, then it's just gonna all be a bigdisaster.
And it's not actually, you know, fine.
Laura (31:32):
No, it really isn't.
Like, I. My husband does such a great job of
taking care of the kids, I. But I do feel thatI. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking about
it, you know, if I'm out and about, like, I'mstill thinking about what's happening back at
home.
Yeah.
Cassy (31:46):
Yeah, it's.
Oh, it's.
It's so hard to get past that.
But, I mean, that's why you need organizations
like Mama's village to help women, you know,kind of get past that and, you know, find that
community and, you know, have people that canmaybe give them the kick in the butt, like,
hey, stop making excuses and go get out of thehouse.
Laura (32:06):
Yeah, I know.
Yeah. It's, you know, it's.
It's really been a really big blessing doingthis.
Like, I have met so.
So many amazing women, women, and I hope that
we can continue doing what we're doing.
I hope that, you know, women come out to our
events, and, you know, whether it's our bigevent like Mama Palooza or smaller events like
(32:28):
mother in circle and, like, mom's night out, Ihope that they come out, because I think that
there's something to be said in, like, makingthese relationships, you know, and finding
your people, finding your village, and findingthat support.
And I think a lot of times, like, you know,it's absolutely necessary and wonderful to
have organizations who will give us materialthings, but there's something to be said about
(32:50):
connection, you know, how important that is.
And I think that's where we fall in.
You know, we're in the business of connection,of connecting people, you know?
And I think that.
I really hope that this continues to serve our
community, and I hope that we.
We can continue to serve our community in the
way that we've been doing, you know?So.
(33:11):
Yeah.
Cassy (33:13):
Yeah, that's.
And I totally agree.
That's a really important service to provide.
Are you hoping that in time you might expand,
like, to other areas.
Laura (33:24):
We are, and this is, I think, where, you know, where opportunity can arise for
anyone that wants to join us because we wouldlove to have, I know that somebody had
messaged us a while back saying, I would loveto see something like this down in York, you
know, and I'm like, I would love to seesomething like that down in York, but, you
(33:45):
know, we don't have, we don't have anybodydown in York.
And I express, I was like, if you would liketo open up a chapter where you host, you know,
your own mother in circle or even, you know,like, we can help establish that, you know, we
can help you with as far as, you know,establishing finances and establishing
locations and things like that.
So I hope that, you know, other moms see what
(34:06):
we're doing.
And they're like, well, I want to start that
in my community.
You know, join us.
We're definitely open to expanding and havingother women join us who share the vision that
we have and who want to expand in other areas.
Because the truth is we're all spread out, but
we're also, I know that Harrisburg tends tobe, the Harrisburg area tends to be Wexhor and
(34:28):
East Shore, and it's hard for some people totravel from one to the other.
So if we had something in the west shore,like, that would bring more people together,
and if we had something in the east shore thatwould bring more people, you know what I mean?
So I would love to see more people getinvolved and, you know, help us expand.
So that's definitely the plan.
I think just as we evolve, as we get more
people interested and more people involved,that will naturally evolve.
Cassy (34:53):
And if people want to find out more information, where is the best place for them
to look?
Laura (34:58):
So they're welcome to look on our Facebook and our, our website, which is
mamasvillagepa.org.
They're also welcome to email
infoamamamamasvillagepa.org.
That's, that goes directly to me, and I'll be
willing to answer any questions or anythingthat people are interested in knowing.
We do have a private Facebook page for momsonly as well, which is Mama's village, central
(35:25):
Pa, and they're welcome to join it.
Again, it's moms only.
And it's just a place, you know, to kind ofconnect and find other moms, you know, and in
the meantime, and kind of, as, you know, inbetween events and whatnot, as well as, you
know, look for resources because we do havemoms on there who are giving stuff away for
free or who are seeking stuff for free thatthey might want.
Cassy (35:47):
Yeah.
Laura (35:48):
Well, thank you.
Cassy (35:48):
I'll make sure to include all that in the show notes also.
And thank you so much for your time today,Laura.
Laura (35:54):
Yeah, thank you so much, Cassandra.
It was a pleasure speaking with you.
Cassy (35:58):
Yeah. And again, all of the information about Mama's village will be in our show
notes, and.
And hopefully we will see you at the next Mama
Palooza.
Laura (36:07):
Yeah, that would be wonderful.
Can't wait.
Cassy (36:18):
That's our episode for this week.
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Thanks for stopping by the Fireflies and
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Until next time.
Hi, and welcome to the South Central Pa mom, Fireflies and Whoopie Pie podcast, where
we discuss motherhood, local events, andeverything in between right here and south
central Pa.
So sit back, grab a coffee a while, and settle
in for the show.
Laura (00:27):
Hi, everyone.
Cassy (00:28):
Welcome back.
This week we have Laura Faust from Mama's
village joining us.
Laura, thanks for being here.
Laura (00:34):
Yeah, thank you for having me.
Cassy (00:36):
So last year we wrote an article about your mama Palooza event.
How did that end up going?
Laura (00:46):
So Mama Palooza went really well last year.
It was clearly our first year, but we had suchan amazing turnout.
We had such great vendors, great activities,and we just really felt the support of the
community and were able to show up for thosemoms in the area.
Cassy (01:02):
And so give me a little bit of, like, some background, I guess, for people who maybe
aren't familiar, like, how did this wholething get started?
Laura (01:12):
Okay, well, it's a little bit of a doozy how this all got started.
So Mama Palooza is an event for moms in thecentral Pa area.
And the reason it got started was actuallybecause of a Facebook group called all Moms of
Hershey and Harrisburg.
In the group, one of the moms posted this sort
(01:33):
of meme, you know, looking for moms who wantto sit margaritas and rent a water slide for
the kids.
And the post got a whole lot of interest.
And so from that post, a couple of us gottogether and decided like, hey, let's make
this happen.
Let's kind of create an event where moms can
come together and just enjoy themselves andthe kids can run free.
(01:55):
And we initially were planning on hosting iton my personal property at my house, but it
just kind of blew off.
So that wasn't going to work out.
And we ended up visiting this park inGrantville, Pennsylvania, called HM, Levitts
Memorial park.
And just looking at the park, it was like the
perfect setup.
It was private, it was big, big.
(02:17):
And we thought, you know what?Let's move it here so we can have as many
people as we can.
And that was kind of how Mama Palooza and
Mama's village were born.
So, yeah, it was all very fast moving, fast
paced.
It was a complete whirlwind, but it was a
really fun, you know, summer of planning itand executing Mama Palooza.
Cassy (02:41):
And so what, what all kind of, like, activities and stuff did you guys have there?
Laura (02:47):
So last year, we really focused on kind of providing a space for moms to connect.
So we had activities for the kids in order forthem to kind of be able to, you know, be free,
let loose, and the moms to talk, for the momsto talk to each other.
And we had princesses coming by.
We had a photographer who was doing free mommy
(03:09):
and me sessions for the moms.
Yeah, that was really fun.
I thought that was a really neat way to getthe moms to, you know, kind of just have
something for themselves.
But we had bounce houses.
We had field games that the kids and the momscould join in playing.
We had raffles.
We had a lot of vendors.
And all of our vendors offered a free activityfor the moms or kids, allowing them to have,
(03:33):
you know, another.
Something else for them to do.
We had somebody face painting.
You know, we had food that was free.
And so it was just really just kind of a giantpicnic.
Now we're trying to evolve that idea a littlebit more, but we still want to stick to those
roots as well.
Cassy (03:50):
Well, and you from there, that was how Mama's village itself got founded.
And so what.
What does Mama's village do?
Laura (03:59):
So Mama's village mission is really to connect mothers with each other and to
resources that can help them.
So right now, we host a monthly mothering
circle, which is a way for moms to come outand just meet other moms and allow their kids
to meet other kids, but in a safe environmentsomewhere where everything feels just safe and
(04:22):
welcoming.
So that's one of our main things that we do.
And we also are trying to get off the ground aprogram to help moms tidy and organize their
homes, help them with laundry.
But that is really in its early stages.
But it's just, you know, we're really allabout connecting moms with each other and
allowing them to kind of, you know, just havesomeone to go to, someone to find their
(04:47):
support within.
Yeah.
Cassy (04:50):
Because, I mean, I know that that, for me, you know, it's.
Oh, gosh, it's.
It's so hard to just meet other people like
other moms.
I mean, like, you have your kids, and that in
and of itself, it's like I can't get out ofthe house because then I have to bring all my
kids with me, and that's a huge pain in thebutt.
(05:11):
And, you know, it just becomes reallystressful.
And the problem with that is that, I mean, youcan't do this alone.
You have to have the support.
I mean, not just, you know, family and
everything is great or having resources inyour community, but, I mean, friendship is
really, really important.
Laura (05:30):
Yeah. And that's kind of where we lean at.
You know, I think that there's something to besaid about that kind of emotional aspect of
momhood, of needing someone to support youemotionally.
I mean, like you said, family is great.
It's very important.
But not everybody has that.
And that's really where friendships come in,
really where, you know, mentorships come in.
(05:51):
Even having a mom that's a little more
experienced than you, that you can go to and,you know, seek advice from, that's really,
really important.
And we do focus in on that.
We want to make sure that moms are able tomeet other moms that they can connect with and
that they can form, you know, a relationshipwith.
Cassy (06:11):
Yeah, it's.
It's. I mean, even if you do have family
nearby, though, you know, like, there's.
There's such a difference between the support
you get from your family and the support youget from friends, especially people who are
also moms and who know what it's like.
You know, like, there is a huge difference
when I'm hanging out with my parents, youknow?
(06:32):
And, I mean, it's like they're helpful orwhatever, but you still kind of get that,
like, maybe eye rolling because you don'tparent the way that they would have or
something.
I don't know.
Whereas when you have, like, your mom friends,it's like they get it.
And, you know, if you're.
Laura (06:46):
You know, when.
Cassy (06:47):
When my friends come over with their kids, it's like they can understand.
Like, look, this house is already a mess.
It's okay if your kids make a mess or if they
break something, it's cool.
Or if they're running around screaming and you
have to stop talking every 2 seconds.
Like, I get it.
You know, it's like having those people whoare meeting you in that same place as where
(07:08):
you are is like, just so important.
Laura (07:11):
It is.
And that's so funny that you say that, because
it's true.
I think our parents are, you know, they're
wonderful support, but the truth is that youkind of always feel.
Not necessarily a judgment behind it, but, youknow, they're.
They have a little bit of a different way ofdoing things.
And I. I've definitely felt that before versusmy friends.
I feel like they know that my house is a messbecause they're in that same stage as me.
(07:34):
Right.
And so it's really important to have those
relationships that you feel like you're kindof in the same zone, same era.
So parents are wonderful.
They're wonderful support, but there's nothing
to be said for having a friend or, you know,somebody that's in that same stage as you are,
it really does feel different.
The connection is different.
(07:54):
The support is different, and that's justreally important.
Cassy (07:59):
Yeah. And what has the, how has the response from the community been since you
guys started with Mama Palooza and Mama'svillage?
Laura (08:08):
I think the response has been great.
A lot of moms out there are looking for this
type of support.
I think that's something that we have been
working on, is kind of incorporating all theseideas that we have.
I think it's a little difficult becausethere's so much that we want to do, and we've
(08:29):
had such great support from the community, butimplementing it has been a little bit tough
here and there, so it has been good.
I think that we're looking always for people
that want to jump in and help out, and sothat's always welcome.
Like, if anybody wants to jump in and help outwith, you know, their own idea or even just
(08:49):
establishing one of the ideas that we've beenworking on, you know, including, like, the
tidy tribe or mothering circle, it's alwaysreally helpful to have that support as well.
Cassy (09:00):
Yeah. And, I mean, that, that makes sense.
And how has it, how long has Mama's villagebeen officially an organization now?
Laura (09:10):
So we've been officially an organization since July, so it hasn't been
that long.
We haven't celebrated our first year yet.
I'm honestly really proud of how far we'vecome and all that we've done in this short
amount of time because it's quite a lot toplan events.
We jumped into this relatively blind, and Ithink we've done a good job at it, but it is
(09:33):
something that requires a lot of us andespecially being that this is not a full time
job for us.
Like, we are still moms.
We're still in that season, so we're kind ofjuggling a lot as it is, so.
Yeah.
Cassy (09:49):
Yeah. And how would you say that it's been, like, growing a lot, just even though, I
mean, it hasn't been a year, but, you know,like, with, like, you have events besides mom
of Palooza or what are, you know, what are youguys doing in addition to that?
Laura (10:06):
So that's a great question.
So we, right now, mom Palooza is our main
yearly event.
However, we are working on establishing mom
only nights out.
You know, we recognize that there's a really
big need in the community for not just momentswith our kids, but also moments to be just
(10:26):
women and just have fun with other women whoare mom just as we are.
We are kind of planned those smaller type ofevents where we host that, you know, local
wineries and just, you know, other places thatwe can have that time to come together as
women.
But this is kind of our yearly event.
(10:46):
This is our biggest event, and it is the onethat we're focusing the most on right now,
just, you know, still being in these earlystages, being in that first year.
Cassy (10:57):
And what are you planning for the second edition of Mama Palooza?
Laura (11:04):
So for the second edition of Mompalooza, we're really excited because we
are bringing something new to the table.
We are planning on having a pampering session.
So we're in the works with having somebodycome in and offer free facial.
Sorry, low cost to free facials.
We're still working out the details as well as
(11:25):
waxing.
And so that's going to be really fun because I
think who doesn't love having a facial andjust relaxing and enjoying something for
themselves?So we're working on that.
And we're working on hosting a motherencircled at Mama Palooza, which is going to
be kind of just a time for women to come downand enjoy themselves and relax.
(11:49):
We're going to have the whole park rented outthis year, which we did not do last year.
So we're really excited for that.
We're having prince.
This is at the park again.
We are having inflatables, you know, all of
that.
We're going to have some music, some live and
some entertainment, and we're going to havesome food and all that.
So, yeah, it's just going to be kind of, youknow, the same as last year, but we are adding
(12:11):
that pampering session, which we think will bea great addition.
Cassy (12:16):
Yeah, I would definitely not say something like that.
And you know what I mean.
I know you guys are still new, but since you
guys have been working on this, what would yousay in the area you're seeing that moms are
struggling with the most?
Laura (12:36):
That is a really good question, I think.
Well, let's see.
I think that one of the things that moms are
struggling with the most is making connectionswith other moms and making friendships.
I think that as adults, we don't talk aboutenough how.
How hard it is to make friendships.
And as moms, we don't talk about enough, like,
(12:58):
how lonely motherhood can be.
And I see that a lot in the community.
I see it, you know, even just, like onFacebook groups, I see moms posting
constantly, hey, I'm looking for a friend.
I feel really alone, and I think that it's
really isolating, and that's really difficultto deal with.
So I think that's something that moms arereally struggling with, and that is a gap that
(13:20):
we're trying to fill.
I think that it's hard because even having
these events and everything, it's hard to showup.
For some moms, the social anxiety is real.
And I get it.
I really get it because you're coming into aspace where you might not know anybody, you're
coming into a spade where other people mightalready know each other, and that feels
(13:42):
intimidating.
That really does.
I think that that's something that ourcommunity is struggling a lot with, and that
is something that we're hoping to worktowards, towards fixing.
I think that something else that moms arestruggling with is also kind of something that
our tidy tribe is trying to address, which isoverwhelming housework and tidiness and
(14:06):
organization.
I feel that, and I think a lot of moms feel
that.
Actually, I just got a message from a friend
of mine this morning that one of her Facebookfriends posted that she was looking for
somebody to come help or organize, and she'slike, oh, can you guys help her?
Because it's overwhelming to think, you know,not only are we taking care of the kids, but
(14:27):
we're also taking care of the household.
So that's kind of where the tidy tribe wants
to step in.
And again, we're still in the very early
stages of establishing that program, but, youknow, just kind of helping moms just, you
know, get everything together so that they canbe the best version of themselves they can be
and that they can thrive.
Cassy (14:48):
Yeah, it's.
I mean, you see a lot on social media about
the mental load that falls on moms.
And, I mean, I personally feel like that's
something that is really, really true.
Laura (15:00):
Yes. You know, just.
Cassy (15:01):
And. And that's.
That's not even to say, like, my husband is
probably, like, more of a clean freak than Iam.
So it's not like, you know, by saying that,and no one's saying, like, your husband or
your spouse, you know, if you're.
If you're an lgbt family or your single
mother, whatever.
Like, it's not saying that other people aren't
(15:22):
contributing, but, you know, just in myexperience, anyway, it's like, moms are the
ones you have this constant running tally of,you know, well, this kid has gymnastics
practice, but, you know, we need to get thisdone, and then I've got this.
I need to make for dinner, and then tomorrowwe have to do this.
And it's like, everything is just, you're theone that's always juggling these things all
(15:43):
the time.
Laura (15:44):
Yeah. And it's that idea of, like, being that default parent.
And, you know, I don't throw that aroundlightly because I feel like that's.
I don't know, I feel like that's really harsh.
And obviously, like, my husband is such a
great help, for example, but that doesn't meanthat the mental load is always taken off my.
Of me.
You know, I'm still thinking about all the
appointments we have and all the things thatneed done around the house and all of the
(16:06):
things going on around.
Um, no matter how helpful he is, that's still
on my mind, and it weighs heavily.
And I think a lot of women, a lot of moms
would resonate with that, you know, with thatthought.
Yeah.
Cassy (16:19):
And it's, it's when you've got all that stuff that's in your, in your brain, too, it
can also feel like I can't take a stop, take aminute to stop and do something for myself,
because if I don't do this, then it's notgoing to get done.
And even if that's not true, you know, it'slike, it's like one of those things where if I
(16:40):
were to really stop and, like, practicallythink about it, if I were to go tell my
husband, like, hey, I need you to do this, hewould, he would do it, you know?
But it's like there's this feeling where it'slike, no, I need to do it because if I don't,
that I'm failing.
Laura (16:54):
Yeah, I completely.
I resonate with that.
Completely.
I think that.
Yeah.
And it's hard because how do you, how do you
kick that off?You know, how do you kick off that thought of,
like, okay, I need to just let him do it or,you know, let somebody help.
Sometimes we put a lot of pressure onourselves as moms to do everything and.
Yeah, I completely agree with that.
Cassy (17:16):
Yes. Because it's.
Oh, man, it's like the mom guilt, you know?
Laura (17:24):
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Cassy (17:25):
It's, it's so hard because it's, it's like it's always there.
Laura (17:31):
Yep. That mom guilt is really real.
I think that it's something, you know, it's so
funny because before becoming a mom, I wouldhave never expected.
I don't know, there's so many things I didn'texpect about motherhood, and that was
definitely not one of them.
But, like, once you're in the throes of it,
you know, you realize, like, you do feel thata lot.
And it's there.
Cassy (17:52):
Oh, yeah.
Because it.
Laura (17:54):
It's.
Cassy (17:55):
It's just like, oh, God. Like.
Like you're failing if you're not getting all
these things done.
And it doesn't matter if it's getting done,
but you're delegating, you know, like.
Like, ridiculous when you think about it,
because if you were at a job and you were,say, a manager and you delegated and the task
got done, but you didn't personally do it, noone would say, oh, you're doing a bad job.
(18:18):
So it's like, why do we feel like that as amom?
Laura (18:20):
Yeah, I know.
I completely agree.
I. Yeah, it's.
It's real.
Like the mom.
Like, even sometimes, you know, I've had.
I'm really lucky to have great support in myin laws, and I will, you know, like, there's
times when I've asked him to, like, watch thekids so I can get house clean for a little
bit, but yet I feel guilty because I wasn'table to, like, chug, like, why can I clean the
house and watch the kids at the same time?But it's just, realistically, it's easier if
(18:43):
they'll watch them, and I can do, like, a big,deep cleaning.
Cleaning.
So there is definitely that guilt aspect of it
constantly, like, left and right.
It's really hard to deal with.
Cassy (18:56):
Oh, yeah.
And it's.
You ask people for help, for example, like,with cleaning.
But then that can be one of those.
It doesn't matter how bad you need it or how
much you have on your plate, you know, youstill feel like, well, I am failing, and now
I'm inviting someone to see that I'm failing,which is something that, like, we just.
We have to get past.
Laura (19:15):
Yeah, that can definitely be hard.
I think that that has been something like, you
know, one of our co founders, Jessica, she isreally the one heading up the tidy tribe.
Like, that's more of her project, and she'stalked to me about that.
Like, you know, how hard is it for people toinvite, you know, strangers or even, like,
(19:36):
acquaintances into their space when it's sucha mess?
You know, like, it is kind of a mental barrierthat we have to overcome.
And I get it.
Even me, like, you know, that I'm trying to
help her, like, you know, spearhead this.
Even I have trouble inviting someone into my
mouth because it's, you know, it's hard.
It's very intimidating.
And, you know, that's something that I thinkthat as we work through, you know, being a
(20:01):
little bit more.
I don't know, to say open or just receptive.
Like, you know, we.
It's a mental barrier that we have to
overcome, but it's a hard one to overcomebecause there is a lot of, you know, you're
going to feel.
You're going to feel judgment, even if there
is no judgment in reality.
Like, we kind of feel that we take that on
ourselves, because I know that I do.
Cassy (20:23):
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's.
Oh, my goodness.
It's like, there's this societal image that,
you know, you see it in, like, sitcoms andmovies and everything.
Even when you see, like, in a movie orwhatever, like, the messy mom.
Like, she's still messy in an acceptable way.
Laura (20:45):
Yeah, that is so true.
Cassy (20:48):
And I think her clothes are messy, but her house is okay, you know?
Laura (20:52):
Yes.
Cassy (20:53):
You know, so it's like you have this feeling, like, oh, my gosh, my house is a
wreck, and maybe my mom has cancer, and I'vegot three kids and I'm working full time, and,
you know, I just had to take my dog to thevet.
So it's like, you have all of these reasonswhy it's okay.
Like, only one person, you can only do somuch, but you still feel like this is on me.
(21:13):
Like I should be doing more.
Laura (21:15):
It's like, it's.
Cassy (21:15):
No matter how much is piled onto our plate, we always feel like I need to be doing
more.
Laura (21:19):
Yeah. And I think that a lot of it, too.
Even, like, social media really plays a big,you know, a big role in that, too, because
you'll see these moms in social media, andtheir.
Their house is looking perfect.
Or, you know, they'll do a video where they're
cleaning, but it's really not that dirty.
You know, you definitely think they might have
done a little pre cleaning there, and, like,you kind of feel guilty because my house does
(21:40):
not look like that most of the time.
It looks really a lot worse than that.
But, you know, I think that at the end of theday, like, we are all moms.
Like, I know that I would never walk intosomebody else's home and, you know, make them
feel any sort of negative way.
Like, I would never have any negative thought,
because I get it.
I'm there, too.
(22:00):
And so I think that that's important toalways, like, keep that in mind and to kind
of, you know, just, I don't know, just keep itin mind.
But it's hard.
It's hard to.
Yeah.
Cassy (22:11):
And. And I think that comes back again to the importance of community.
Community I can say that word.
And, like, and I mean, not just having, like,
again, there's a difference between thesupport of, you know, local resources or your
parents versus people who are also moms andwho get it.
(22:32):
You know, like, it is, it is such a greatfeeling when you have those friends that they
can come to your house or you can go to theirhouse, you know, and it's like everything's a
wreck and they're still in, like, theirsweatpants and it doesn't matter.
Like, no one's going to judge each otherbecause everyone knows how it is.
It's like you need that.
(22:52):
Everyone needs that.
Laura (22:54):
You do.
You really do.
I just, you know, it's so funny because I justmade a new friend, a local mom, because I
don't live in the Harrisburg area.
I mean, I'm a little bit, I'm an hour away, so
I travel down a lot, but, you know, I, I havea lot of friends down there, but I just met a
local mom who lives about 15 minutes from me,and it's been such a big blessing.
(23:16):
And we were just talking because she came overthe other day and she's like, oh, don't worry.
You'll get to the point where you don't needto feel the need to clean for me.
And I was like, okay, thank you.
Because, you know, I definitely did some
cleaning before she came over because I'mlike, oh, gosh, she's going to, you know,
she's going to think I'm a total, total slobhere.
But, you know, you do need those mom friendswhere you don't feel like you need to clean
(23:36):
for them.
And that was so, like, when she said that to
me, I was like, oh, thank you.
Like, I do hope we get to that point because
that would be really nice.
You know, you don't want to feel like you need
to keep up with, you know, your housecompletely just because you want to have some
friends over.
So I think there's something beautiful about
having friendships with moms who are in thatsame stage, who are in that, you know, same
(23:57):
mindset because it really just, you know,makes you feel so much better.
Cassy (24:03):
Oh, yeah.
Because it's, it's funny, too, because, you
know, men, I've noticed, have a much hardertime, even as hard of a time as it is for moms
to, like, make friends, you know, just becauseof everything we have, you know, I see a lot
of these studies and everything, and then justmy own experience, like, men are dealing with
loneliness even worse than women are, youknow, this notion of having, like, close
(24:27):
friends with men is.
Is kind of failing.
And it's funny because this whole notion of,like, messiness, you know, in your house,
like, I see that firsthand, you know, like,when my close friends come and I'm like, oh,
hey, you know, Tara's coming over for dinnertonight, and he's like, oh, we got to get the
house clean.
I'm like, no. Like, no, it's.
(24:47):
Tara, you don't.
You don't need to clean anything.
Yeah, but it's like, they don't get thatbecause they don't have that, I guess,
closeness.
And not only just the closeness, but, like,
the.
The.
Oh, man, what's, like, self assurance, Iguess, like, the knowledge that, like, it's
okay.
They get it.
They got kids, too.
(25:07):
They know what it's like.
It's cool.
Laura (25:09):
Yeah. Yeah, I definitely see that.
I think that men do kind of struggle more with
that.
I think that.
I don't know.
I mean, I just think the sisterhood tends to
be a little bit more, you know, we bond alittle better, I think, where men's kind of
have some defenses up, at least from what I'veseen, this.
Yeah.
So I do see.
I do see that struggle, for sure.
(25:31):
And I think that it would be great if, you
know, we had something for men in thecommunity, for dads, even they would go.
I know they wouldn't, but so we kind of jokedabout it because we're like, we need to.
Like, we'll be the ones planning it for thembecause, you know, they would never plan it on
their own, you know?But they need it.
But they do need it.
(25:51):
Like, it would be great for them.
Cassy (25:53):
Oh, yeah.
Like, okay, so one of my kids has down
syndrome, and so I'm in a down syndrome momlike support group.
I mean, it's support group.
I mean, we're friends, you know, it's more
just mom friends talking about mom stuff, youknow?
And from there, they created a nonprofitcalled the Down Syndrome Diagnosis Network.
And they have a retreat every year, and theyhave one for moms, and they have one for dads.
(26:19):
There are, like, thousands of moms that go tothis, and for the dads, one, it's like 100,
maybe.
Laura (26:26):
Oh, my goodness.
Cassy (26:28):
You know, and the same, like, they have Facebook groups for all this stuff, you know?
Laura (26:32):
And it's.
Cassy (26:32):
It's moms, like, 90% of his moms.
And it's, you know, a lot of it is, like, age
groups.
So they have, like, by age, and then they
have, like, adoptive parents, LGBTQ parents.
Like, you know, heart defect parents, cancer
parents, whatever.
And then you have, like, the dad's groups.
Laura (26:48):
Oh, my God. That. That is how it goes, isn't it?
That is so funny.
I know.
We. We really.
The men.
Men need it.
I just, you know, it's just kind of getting
them there.
It's a bit of a process.
Cassy (27:02):
Oh, yeah.
It's like you have to drag them almost like,
kicking and screaming.
Like, hey, hang out with these other families.
And then we're gonna.
I'm gonna make you make friends with these
people whether you like it or not.
Laura (27:14):
That is how it goes.
But see, I tend to feel like at least my
husband, you know, like, I might have to draghim there, but then he'll enjoy it.
He'll be like, oh, you know, they were nice.
I actually enjoyed my time.
Cassy (27:26):
Oh, yeah.
Like, my husband, as an example, is the most
extroverted person on the planet.
So, like, he will talk, you know, the ears off
of anyone who will stand around, listen.
But, you know, if we.
I'm like, you need to go, like, make somefriends.
And he's like, I don't need friends.
You're my best friend.
And I'm like, no, no, no. That's so verysweet, but no, you need your own friends.
Laura (27:49):
That's funny.
Cassy (27:54):
But it's, you know, at least, I guess moms are more willing to put themselves out
there to recognize that they have that need.
And like, hey, I need to find something that
can help me with this.
Laura (28:08):
Yeah. And I don't know.
I think that.
I think as women, like, we do tend to be moresocial creatures.
Like, as far as, like, needing thatsocialization, like, I don't know.
I've seen that a lot.
At least, like, in my immediate surroundings,
that we do kind of seek that out more.
Like, my husband's happy to kind of spend some
time more on his own where I'm like, no, Ineed socialization.
(28:30):
And I think a lot of that has to do with thefact that I'm home with the kids all the time,
that I feel like I need that also adultinteraction, because that's a whole other host
of things.
Like, you know, if you're.
If you're a mom, that is, you know, with yourkids a lot, whether it's because you're a stay
at home mom, you're working from home,whatever it may be, like, you're spending a
lot of time with your kids.
(28:51):
Like, you need that adult interaction.
You need time to just be around other adults.
And, like, I see my husband, like, he gets to
spend time at work and, like, yeah, he'sworking, so I'm not going to take away from
that.
But he's still talking to other adults, and
I'm here talking to my three year old all day,you know?
So I think that the needs for socializationtend to look a little different depending on
(29:12):
what your situation is, for sure.
Cassy (29:14):
Well, and even that, you know, to an extent, goes back to the mom guild, you know,
where.
So, like, my husband, you know, he plays
hockey, and it's like a fun, you know, guys,whatever league.
So he goes once a week and he plays hockeyand.
And I'm cool with that.
I have no problem with that.
But if it were me, like, I have such a hardtime, and I, he wouldn't, he wouldn't care.
(29:37):
He would say, absolutely.
If I were like, hey, I want to go once a week
to go do whatever, he'd be like, yeah, do it.
But it's like, I can't.
I have this, that, like, I can't ask, youknow?
Laura (29:47):
Yeah. Oh, yeah, I totally get that.
And I'm the same way.
I. You do kind of feel like, I don't know, itjust, it almost feels, like even thought, you
know, you have shared responsibility.
It almost just feels like it's your
responsibility.
Like, I have to be there.
Like, but it's not true.
Like, you have shared responsibility.
You have a partnership with your, with yourpartner, with your husband, but it does almost
(30:10):
feel like it's all falling on your shoulders,even though it doesn't need to, you know, at
all times, at least, you know, in somesituations.
But, yeah, it's, it's definitely hard.
And it does tied into that mom guilt.
Cassy (30:23):
Yeah, because it's, it's like, what? Like, okay, so my husband can go play hockey
once a week, but I can't go up the street tothe library to, like, learn to crochet at the
crochet group they have.
Laura (30:35):
Yeah.
Cassy (30:36):
Like, why can't I do that?
Laura (30:38):
I know.
I, you know, it's so funny because I was just
thinking of taking up pottery.
They have something locally, and I'm just
like, oh, how cool would it be for me to dopottery, you know?
But I'd have to commit, like, once a week inthe evenings.
And I'm just thinking to myself, I'm like, amI really going to ask my husband?
I don't know.
Like, I was just, like, thinking about it, and
I'm just like, now that we're having thisconversation, I'm like, why was I thinking
(30:59):
about it so hard.
I totally should do it.
Like, there's nothing wrong with that, but,you know, the thought is there.
Cassy (31:04):
Mm hmm.
Laura (31:05):
Yeah.
Cassy (31:06):
I have been thinking about this, like, for weeks, if not months.
Like, oh, yeah, I want to go do this, and Ijust don't.
I don't even know why.
I don't.
I just.
It's like.
Just this feeling, like I have to be the onethat's there.
Laura (31:19):
Yeah.
Cassy (31:20):
You know, like, if I'm not there to make dinner and put the kids to bed and
everything, then it's just gonna all be a bigdisaster.
And it's not actually, you know, fine.
Laura (31:32):
No, it really isn't.
Like, I. My husband does such a great job of
taking care of the kids, I. But I do feel thatI. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking about
it, you know, if I'm out and about, like, I'mstill thinking about what's happening back at
home.
Yeah.
Cassy (31:46):
Yeah, it's.
Oh, it's.
It's so hard to get past that.
But, I mean, that's why you need organizations
like Mama's village to help women, you know,kind of get past that and, you know, find that
community and, you know, have people that canmaybe give them the kick in the butt, like,
hey, stop making excuses and go get out of thehouse.
Laura (32:06):
Yeah, I know.
Yeah. It's, you know, it's.
It's really been a really big blessing doingthis.
Like, I have met so.
So many amazing women, women, and I hope that
we can continue doing what we're doing.
I hope that, you know, women come out to our
events, and, you know, whether it's our bigevent like Mama Palooza or smaller events like
(32:28):
mother in circle and, like, mom's night out, Ihope that they come out, because I think that
there's something to be said in, like, makingthese relationships, you know, and finding
your people, finding your village, and findingthat support.
And I think a lot of times, like, you know,it's absolutely necessary and wonderful to
have organizations who will give us materialthings, but there's something to be said about
(32:50):
connection, you know, how important that is.
And I think that's where we fall in.
You know, we're in the business of connection,of connecting people, you know?
And I think that.
I really hope that this continues to serve our
community, and I hope that we.
We can continue to serve our community in the
way that we've been doing, you know?So.
(33:11):
Yeah.
Cassy (33:13):
Yeah, that's.
And I totally agree.
That's a really important service to provide.
Are you hoping that in time you might expand,
like, to other areas.
Laura (33:24):
We are, and this is, I think, where, you know, where opportunity can arise for
anyone that wants to join us because we wouldlove to have, I know that somebody had
messaged us a while back saying, I would loveto see something like this down in York, you
know, and I'm like, I would love to seesomething like that down in York, but, you
(33:45):
know, we don't have, we don't have anybodydown in York.
And I express, I was like, if you would liketo open up a chapter where you host, you know,
your own mother in circle or even, you know,like, we can help establish that, you know, we
can help you with as far as, you know,establishing finances and establishing
locations and things like that.
So I hope that, you know, other moms see what
(34:06):
we're doing.
And they're like, well, I want to start that
in my community.
You know, join us.
We're definitely open to expanding and havingother women join us who share the vision that
we have and who want to expand in other areas.
Because the truth is we're all spread out, but
we're also, I know that Harrisburg tends tobe, the Harrisburg area tends to be Wexhor and
(34:28):
East Shore, and it's hard for some people totravel from one to the other.
So if we had something in the west shore,like, that would bring more people together,
and if we had something in the east shore thatwould bring more people, you know what I mean?
So I would love to see more people getinvolved and, you know, help us expand.
So that's definitely the plan.
I think just as we evolve, as we get more
people interested and more people involved,that will naturally evolve.
Cassy (34:53):
And if people want to find out more information, where is the best place for them
to look?
Laura (34:58):
So they're welcome to look on our Facebook and our, our website, which is
mamasvillagepa.org.
They're also welcome to email
infoamamamamasvillagepa.org.
That's, that goes directly to me, and I'll be
willing to answer any questions or anythingthat people are interested in knowing.
We do have a private Facebook page for momsonly as well, which is Mama's village, central
(35:25):
Pa, and they're welcome to join it.
Again, it's moms only.
And it's just a place, you know, to kind ofconnect and find other moms, you know, and in
the meantime, and kind of, as, you know, inbetween events and whatnot, as well as, you
know, look for resources because we do havemoms on there who are giving stuff away for
free or who are seeking stuff for free thatthey might want.
Cassy (35:47):
Yeah.
Laura (35:48):
Well, thank you.
Cassy (35:48):
I'll make sure to include all that in the show notes also.
And thank you so much for your time today,Laura.
Laura (35:54):
Yeah, thank you so much, Cassandra.
It was a pleasure speaking with you.
Cassy (35:58):
Yeah. And again, all of the information about Mama's village will be in our show
notes, and.
And hopefully we will see you at the next Mama
Palooza.
Laura (36:07):
Yeah, that would be wonderful.
Can't wait.
Cassy (36:18):
That's our episode for this week.
New episodes will drop every Monday.
Make sure to subscribe so you never miss out.
Leave us a review and share to help other moms
find us.
Thanks for stopping by the Fireflies and
Whoopie Pie podcast, the only podcast by southcentral Pa moms for south central Pa moms.
Until next time.
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