December 11, 2023 • 23 mins
How often are we, as moms, told to make sure we don't gain any weight, ever... but ESPECIALLY not during the holidays? On this week's episode, Cassy wants you to throw all of that out the window, and embrace a healthier mindset instead. https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/food-dining/2023/11/20/staying-healthy-holiday-tips/71570950007/ https://www.today.com/health/9-tips-avoid-weight-gain-during-holiday-season-today-t200137 https://www.popsci.com/how-to-not-gain-holiday-weight-diet/ https://blog.swedish.org/swedish-blog/5-ways-to-maintain-a-healthy-mindset-about-holiday-food
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cassy (00:07):
Hi, and welcome to the South Central PA Mom, Fireflies and Whoopee Pie podcast, where
we discuss motherhood, local events andeverything in between right here in south
central PA.
So sit back, grab a coffee a while and settle
in for the show.
(00:28):
The holiday season is upon us, and with that
comes tons of really, really good food.
So how do you make sure that you're eating
well during the holidays?And how do you have a healthy mindset towards
the food that we are eating?Welcome back to another episode of Fireflies
(00:49):
and Whoopee Pie.
It's Cassie here.
And this week I really wanted to talk aboutsomething that is very prevalent during the
holiday season, especially because theholidays are when we are going and visiting
all of our families and we're eating all ofthese fancy foods and things that we wouldn't
normally eat.
Lots of really savory, rich, heavy dishes that
(01:15):
are just everyone's favorite, but we don'thave them all the time, so we tend to
overindulge.
Right.
But the problem is, if you look around, thereare a lot of not great cultural cues about how
we should treat food during the holidays.
(01:39):
We've got USA Today where it talks about eight
expert tips on how to eat healthy during theholidays.
We've got the Today show giving advice.
Nine tips on how to avoid the holiday weight
gain.
NBC how to prevent holiday weight gain.
(02:01):
It's constant.
And if you were to look, we could probably
find more.
Because let's be honest, especially for women,
the relationship we have with food is justoverall not healthy.
(02:21):
There's a lot of guilt, a lot of guilt that isvery prevalent towards the way that we eat,
especially as women.
I don't think that it is as bad for men as it
is for women.
But I mean, hey, maybe some men are listening
and they can leave us a comment and tell us,but I don't think that men have as much
(02:47):
pressure and stress and guilt wrapped intofood because women are always supposed to be
fit and slim and attractive.
This does not stop when we're moms.
It doesn't matter that you have a body thathas created a complete human being from
nothing and that you birthed that body.
(03:08):
It doesn't matter that you spent countless
hours of sleepless nights, that you were theone running around getting everything done,
the Christmas shopping and the holiday mealsand the decorating, and that everything falls
on your shoulders.
It doesn't matter.
All of the things that moms have to juggle andweigh on and constantly worry about because
(03:37):
we're still expected to be just as attractiveand stylish and skinny as we were before kids,
even though that is an unrealistic standard,that for most people is literally impossible.
You could be in fantastic shape and be veryhealthy, but for most people, you're never
(04:01):
going to be the size that you were when youwere a teenager or before you had kids.
It's just not going to happen.
Things have changed.
Our bodies have changed.
And instead of being grateful for that, or
appreciating that, or recognizing the stage oflife that we are in, we are given constant
(04:22):
cultural messages, no, don't have anotherpiece of cake, because then, oh, everyone's
going to be judging you because you need tolose weight.
But, oh, there you are.
You're over at the dessert table eating more
than you should be.
Why don't you just control yourself?
Right?That's the message that everyone gets.
And you know what?That is not a healthy way to deal with food at
(04:46):
the holidays.
We should not have to worry about gaining
weight during the holiday season just becausewe are women.
Now, I don't think anyone would think thatit's a good thing if you just go completely
hog wild and somehow manage to gain 50 poundsin one or two months.
(05:07):
But let's be realistic.
How many people does that actually happen to?
And if it does, it's usually because there'smore going on than just someone was being a
big fat fatty and couldn't control themselves.
Right?
That's the cultural narrative, that someonewho is overweight just can't control
themselves and has no ability to stop puttingfood in their mouths.
(05:30):
But that's not real.
That's not the way the world really wOrks.
Most people are doing the best they can, and Iwould imagine being moms.
Most of us that are listening to this areprobably around my same age range.
Your thirty s, forty s, maybe a little bitolder.
(05:51):
So that also means that in addition to theregular cultural stigma that there is around
being even slightly overweight, we grew upduring a time when there was no body
positivity.
It was a toxic, toxic diet culture that was
just pervasive.
(06:13):
Anyone who was a teenager in the early 2000s
can even understand, like, the idea of the lowrise jeans, the ultra, ultra low rise jeans
that only worked if you were stick thin.
And every celebrity that sported them was
stick thin and you had the heroin chic beforethat, in the.
(06:34):
Everything was about being as skinny as youpossibly can and remember, what was it?
Jessica Simpson, she played a concert and shewore some high waisted jeans and people
ridiculed her.
She was trashed across the media, left and
right about how she had let herself go and shehad gained all this weight.
(06:54):
And it turns out she said, since then, at thattime, she was a size five.
Size five.
And that was considered obese in the media
during the time that we grew up.
So, as it is, I would say it's very likely
that most of us don't have a healthyrelationship with food, because growing up, we
(07:15):
were taught, don't eat that or it's going togo straight to your thighs.
No, you can't have that kind of food becausethat's bad.
Or if you eat too much of something, thenyou're going to end up really fat and no one's
going to like you.
It was just this constant pressure to look a
(07:35):
certain way.
And by extension, food was no longer something
that was there for nourishment.
It was there to make sure that you were as
small as you possibly could be, and that wasit.
And that's not what it's supposed to be like.
And it's taken a long time for me, anyway, to
get to the point where I can understand andaccept.
(07:57):
That's one thing that I think is reallyimportant to keep in mind for the holidays
when you're talking about a healthyRelationship with food, is to take the idea of
a type of food being bad and throw it out thewindow.
There is no such thing as a bad food.
(08:20):
There's no such thing as a good food.
All food is just that.
It is food.
It is something to go into our bodies tonourish us and give us energy to do the things
that we need to do, and that's it.
There is nothing wrong with eating one or two
slices of cake because you're at a Christmasparty.
(08:41):
That is okay.
You have my permission and the permission of.
Honestly, from what I can tell mostnutritionists around the world, you're not
doing something bad.
But why do we feel guilty?
Because we spent our entire childhoods beingconditioned to think that this is bad and that
people who do this have no self control, butthere is no such thing as a bad food.
(09:07):
Yes, there are things that need to be eatenmore in moderation.
No, you probably shouldn't sit down and eat afive scoop ice cream sundae every single
night.
But you know what?
If you want to go with your kids to friendliesand have an ice cream sundae every once in a
while, you go right ahead.
That is totally fine.
It is not bad.
It is not going to ruin any so called diet.
(09:28):
It is not going to ruin your figure and itdoes not make you a bad person.
So at the holidays, there's going to be a lotmore things that are labeled in our culture as
bad.
So you just need to take that in your mind and
throw it away.
There are no bad foods.
(09:49):
So when you are sitting down, you want somemashed potatoes, you get some mashed potatoes,
you want an extra roll.
With your Christmas dinner, you get yourself
an extra roll, you want some dessert, have thedessert and enjoy it.
Enjoy every second.
And in fact, that is one of the things that is
really helpful when it comes to having a goodrelationship with food is mindfulness.
(10:17):
Having the mindfulness to really savor all ofit instead of just rushing through our food
like it's just something we're doing becausewe have to to survive.
Really enjoy your food.
Stop and think, how does this smell before you
take A bite?When you're focus on those savory smells or
(10:38):
the sweet smells of the cake or the cinnamonor whatever it is, how does it smell?
How does it taste when it's in my mouth?Really just enjoy every bite and savor it.
Don't rush.
Understand that it's okay, it's good, and so
(10:58):
enjoy it.
Eating is not just an issue of, well, we need
food to survive.
There are emotional connections to food.
And we know that because there are foods thatcan.
Different hormones are released when we eatcertain things like endorphins.
(11:23):
Food can make you feel happy.
They can make you feel comforted, they can
make you feel joy.
So here at everyday health, there is an
article where it talks about mindful eatingtips for the holidays.
And one of the nutritionists that wasinterviewed says this going into the day with
(11:46):
a positive mindset and giving yourselfpermission to enjoy these foods will allow for
a more mindful experience, both in regard tothe food as well as your ability to enjoy the
holiday in general.
And this is a good point that she makes.
How can you enjoy a holiday if the entire timeyou're stressing about what you're eating?
Like, oh, no, I can't put that much mashedpotatoes on my plate.
(12:09):
I need to just take a tiny bit and make surethere's tons of extra vegetables.
That's not enjoyable.
It's stressful.
So give yourself permission to enjoyeverything.
And then she continues on to say, focus onwhat you can add to your plate rather than
what needs to be avoided or taking away.
(12:29):
Actively trying to avoid foods you genuinely
enjoy only makes you think about those foodsmore.
That feeling of deprivation puts you atincreased risk of eating more of the food than
you would have eaten if you simply gaveyourself permission to eat the food mindfully
from the start.
So what does that mean?
(12:50):
It's kind of like the concept of binging andpurging.
If you never say, yeah, I'm going to havemashed potatoes every once in a while, and
that's okay.
As an example, you're never allowed to eat
mashed potatoes every time you go out to eat.
You can't have mashed potatoes as your side.
You get vegetables instead.
At your house, you never, ever, ever make
mashed potatoes.
(13:11):
You secretly love them, but you never let
yourself eat them.
And then all of a sudden, you're at your Aunt
Barbara Sue's house and she's got just tonsand tons of mashed potatoes but no healthy
sides.
And now you've been craving it, you've been
deprived and it's right in front of you andyou have no willpower.
(13:31):
And so you're just going to binge and bingeand binge on it.
It's not healthy to say you can never havesomething.
Let yourself have things.
There is no a food that's bad or a food that's
good.
It's just food.
That's it.
And so whatever food it is that you're trying
(13:54):
to enjoy, let yourself have it.
There is no, no, you should not have that.
Another thing that I think is really helpfulif we're talking about healthy relationships
with food, I know a lot of you moms out therehave got to feel the same way as me here, is
handling our stress levels.
(14:15):
Because how many of you out there, when you
are stressed out at the end of the day and youare just so wound up and everything has just
been insane, your kids have been going crazy,work stuff has got you just up the wall and
you feel like you just are about to break.
And then you reach for the food.
(14:35):
For me, it's the sweets.
I have a really bad sweet tooth.
So I will just be like cramming chocolate downmy throat or the pint of Ben and Jerry's.
And this used to be something that I wouldfeel guilty about.
And like I mentioned, now I don't because one,I don't do it on a regular basis.
So if every now and then I want to have a pintof Ben and Jerry's, and you know what?
(14:56):
I'm **** well going to have a pint of Ben andJerry's and I'm not going to feel a single
little ounce of guilt over it.
There is still part of me that wants to.
But when I do that is when I tell myself Ihave nothing to feel guilty for.
So tell yourself that until you start tobelieve it.
But the other part of that is to realize thatif we are very stressed out, it is that much
(15:21):
harder to make good decisions about our food.
Even if you're eating a ton of vegetables, too
much of anything is bad if you're stressedout.
And so food is a comfort for you when you arestressed, then you're going to overeat.
Regardless of what you're eating, you're goingto be overeating.
(15:43):
So the holidays are especially a stressfultime for moms more than anyone, because
everything falls on our shoulders.
We're the ones that have to take care of
everything.
We're the ones that have to do everything.
And God knows there is this pressure for us tofeel like the holidays have to be perfectly
(16:07):
magical for our kids or we have failed.
Right.
So it's important to handle that stress.
Take a walk for 10 minutes, 510 minutes.
You don't have to go crazy.
Just take some time outside and take a deep
(16:28):
breath and just kind of enjoy being away fromall the craziness.
Or tell your husband or your wife or whoeverit is, it's your partner.
Hey, I need a break.
I need to step away.
I'm going to go up in my room for, like, 10minutes, and I just need to chill.
Or maybe you just want to take a long bubblebath, whatever it is that destresses you.
(16:51):
I need an hour to go read a book.
Or maybe you just want to zone out watching TV
or Doom scroll on Instagram.
Whatever your thing is, let yourself do it.
Make sure you are giving yourself the time andthe space to relax and to destress and to calm
down.
(17:11):
Because if we are not stressed, we are much
more likely to eat well and to not go for justmindless eating.
One thing that you'll see a lot ofnutritionists say when it talks about having a
healthy mindset towards food is to eatpurposefully.
(17:34):
So that's where you don't want to just be kindof mindfully eating something because you're
stressed or you're bored.
And those are things that I do.
So work on your stress levels.
Make sure you're giving yourself time to
destress and to have time for yourself,because this is, again, let's face it, one of
(17:56):
those things.
Moms don't get times to ourselves during the
holidays, right?We're too busy running around doing everything
for everyone else.
So if you can take the time for you.
Make sure you are making that a priority,because this is a sad truth, but no one else
is going to.
No one else is going to make sure that you
(18:17):
have time for yourself this holiday season.
No one's going to prioritize you.
That's the way it is for moms.
Right?
We're the ones that run around doing thingsfor everyone else.
So you have to make sure that you take timefor yourself.
So when it comes to the holidays, I want youto stop worrying about things like, oh, no,
(18:46):
I'm eating.
I ate so bad at that holiday party last night.
I was terrible.
No, you weren't terrible.
You went to a party, you ate food you loved,and you had a great time.
Are you going to eat the exact same thing thenext day and the next day and the next day
after that?Probably not.
So why is it bad?You're allowed to splurge every once in a
while.
Stop worrying about how much you eat, or this
(19:10):
is a bad food or this has too many calories.
Hey, it's fine.
You're not doing it every day.
So if every once in a while you splurge and
just let yourself have whatever you want, it'snot the end of the world.
(19:31):
There doesn't have to be a negativeconnotation about everything when it comes to
food.
It's okay to let yourself just enjoy things.
Like, really, that's something that we have totell ourselves over and over again.
Because again, we grew up in just this toxicsoup of negative body image and diet culture,
(19:57):
and we have to work extra hard to get pastthat because we don't want to have this
negative relationship with our bodies and withfood.
And unfortunately, the media message that issent out during the holiday season, it's all
about, oh, well, don't gain weight.
Don't gain weight during the holidays.
Here's how you make sure you don't eat toomuch.
(20:19):
I want you to throw that all out of thewindow.
I want you to give yourself permission toenjoy yourself.
You're not going to holiday parties every day.
You're not going to holiday parties, likely
even every week.
So when you do go to one, enjoy it.
Enjoy it.
And when it's time for your Christmas dinner
(20:39):
or your Hanukkah dinner or Kwanzaa or whateverit is that you celebrate when that moment
comes along, then, hey, once again, this is aonce a year event.
Once a year.
Are we really going to be that strict on
ourselves that we can't indulge once a year?Right?
(21:03):
Like when you think about it that way, doesn'tit sound ridiculous?
It doesn't make any sense because no one iseating like this all the time.
I mean, God, as moms, who has time to, right?So it's frustrating.
(21:24):
It can be hard so often to fight back againstall of these conflicting messages that we get.
And that is what I want you to focus on.
I am no expert.
I am just a person who grew up in the earlytwo thousand s and somehow survived and has
(21:48):
been working so hard and like clawing toothand nail to get to some semblance of a
positive body image.
Despite everything that I grew up with, like
the messages in the media, messages from myfamily, messages just everywhere.
Don't gain weight.
It's the worst thing in the world.
Watch what you eat or else you're going to getfat.
(22:10):
No, don't put mayonnaise on that sandwich orit's going to go straight to your hips.
No, don't have ice cream because that's badfor you.
That's how we grew up.
And you know what?
It's time to let go of that.
That's not realistic.
It's not healthy.
And so when it comes to healthy eating during
the holidays, you need to just focus on doingwhat is best for you and what works for you.
(22:37):
Let yourself indulge every now and then.
Let yourself have what you want.
And get rid of those unhealthy associationswith food.
Let go of the guilt.
If it starts to come in, just remind yourself,
I have nothing to be guilty for.
Food is food.
It's food.
There is no morality to food.
None.
(22:57):
So when you see an article that's telling you
about healthy eating for the holidays and itinvolves not gaining weight, just remember,
that is a load of trash and you are betterthan that.
You don't have to abide by that.
(23:18):
And you are allowed to enjoy yourself this
holiday season.
That's our episode for this week.
New episodes will drop every Monday.
Make sure to subscribe so you never miss out.
(23:39):
Leave us a review and share to help other momsfind us.
Thanks for stopping by the Fireflies and WhoopPea Pie podcast, the only podcast by South
Central PA moms or South Central PA moms.
Until next time.
Hi, and welcome to the South Central PA Mom, Fireflies and Whoopee Pie podcast, where
we discuss motherhood, local events andeverything in between right here in south
central PA.
So sit back, grab a coffee a while and settle
in for the show.
(00:28):
The holiday season is upon us, and with that
comes tons of really, really good food.
So how do you make sure that you're eating
well during the holidays?And how do you have a healthy mindset towards
the food that we are eating?Welcome back to another episode of Fireflies
(00:49):
and Whoopee Pie.
It's Cassie here.
And this week I really wanted to talk aboutsomething that is very prevalent during the
holiday season, especially because theholidays are when we are going and visiting
all of our families and we're eating all ofthese fancy foods and things that we wouldn't
normally eat.
Lots of really savory, rich, heavy dishes that
(01:15):
are just everyone's favorite, but we don'thave them all the time, so we tend to
overindulge.
Right.
But the problem is, if you look around, thereare a lot of not great cultural cues about how
we should treat food during the holidays.
(01:39):
We've got USA Today where it talks about eight
expert tips on how to eat healthy during theholidays.
We've got the Today show giving advice.
Nine tips on how to avoid the holiday weight
gain.
NBC how to prevent holiday weight gain.
(02:01):
It's constant.
And if you were to look, we could probably
find more.
Because let's be honest, especially for women,
the relationship we have with food is justoverall not healthy.
(02:21):
There's a lot of guilt, a lot of guilt that isvery prevalent towards the way that we eat,
especially as women.
I don't think that it is as bad for men as it
is for women.
But I mean, hey, maybe some men are listening
and they can leave us a comment and tell us,but I don't think that men have as much
(02:47):
pressure and stress and guilt wrapped intofood because women are always supposed to be
fit and slim and attractive.
This does not stop when we're moms.
It doesn't matter that you have a body thathas created a complete human being from
nothing and that you birthed that body.
(03:08):
It doesn't matter that you spent countless
hours of sleepless nights, that you were theone running around getting everything done,
the Christmas shopping and the holiday mealsand the decorating, and that everything falls
on your shoulders.
It doesn't matter.
All of the things that moms have to juggle andweigh on and constantly worry about because
(03:37):
we're still expected to be just as attractiveand stylish and skinny as we were before kids,
even though that is an unrealistic standard,that for most people is literally impossible.
You could be in fantastic shape and be veryhealthy, but for most people, you're never
(04:01):
going to be the size that you were when youwere a teenager or before you had kids.
It's just not going to happen.
Things have changed.
Our bodies have changed.
And instead of being grateful for that, or
appreciating that, or recognizing the stage oflife that we are in, we are given constant
(04:22):
cultural messages, no, don't have anotherpiece of cake, because then, oh, everyone's
going to be judging you because you need tolose weight.
But, oh, there you are.
You're over at the dessert table eating more
than you should be.
Why don't you just control yourself?
Right?That's the message that everyone gets.
And you know what?That is not a healthy way to deal with food at
(04:46):
the holidays.
We should not have to worry about gaining
weight during the holiday season just becausewe are women.
Now, I don't think anyone would think thatit's a good thing if you just go completely
hog wild and somehow manage to gain 50 poundsin one or two months.
(05:07):
But let's be realistic.
How many people does that actually happen to?
And if it does, it's usually because there'smore going on than just someone was being a
big fat fatty and couldn't control themselves.
Right?
That's the cultural narrative, that someonewho is overweight just can't control
themselves and has no ability to stop puttingfood in their mouths.
(05:30):
But that's not real.
That's not the way the world really wOrks.
Most people are doing the best they can, and Iwould imagine being moms.
Most of us that are listening to this areprobably around my same age range.
Your thirty s, forty s, maybe a little bitolder.
(05:51):
So that also means that in addition to theregular cultural stigma that there is around
being even slightly overweight, we grew upduring a time when there was no body
positivity.
It was a toxic, toxic diet culture that was
just pervasive.
(06:13):
Anyone who was a teenager in the early 2000s
can even understand, like, the idea of the lowrise jeans, the ultra, ultra low rise jeans
that only worked if you were stick thin.
And every celebrity that sported them was
stick thin and you had the heroin chic beforethat, in the.
(06:34):
Everything was about being as skinny as youpossibly can and remember, what was it?
Jessica Simpson, she played a concert and shewore some high waisted jeans and people
ridiculed her.
She was trashed across the media, left and
right about how she had let herself go and shehad gained all this weight.
(06:54):
And it turns out she said, since then, at thattime, she was a size five.
Size five.
And that was considered obese in the media
during the time that we grew up.
So, as it is, I would say it's very likely
that most of us don't have a healthyrelationship with food, because growing up, we
(07:15):
were taught, don't eat that or it's going togo straight to your thighs.
No, you can't have that kind of food becausethat's bad.
Or if you eat too much of something, thenyou're going to end up really fat and no one's
going to like you.
It was just this constant pressure to look a
(07:35):
certain way.
And by extension, food was no longer something
that was there for nourishment.
It was there to make sure that you were as
small as you possibly could be, and that wasit.
And that's not what it's supposed to be like.
And it's taken a long time for me, anyway, to
get to the point where I can understand andaccept.
(07:57):
That's one thing that I think is reallyimportant to keep in mind for the holidays
when you're talking about a healthyRelationship with food, is to take the idea of
a type of food being bad and throw it out thewindow.
There is no such thing as a bad food.
(08:20):
There's no such thing as a good food.
All food is just that.
It is food.
It is something to go into our bodies tonourish us and give us energy to do the things
that we need to do, and that's it.
There is nothing wrong with eating one or two
slices of cake because you're at a Christmasparty.
(08:41):
That is okay.
You have my permission and the permission of.
Honestly, from what I can tell mostnutritionists around the world, you're not
doing something bad.
But why do we feel guilty?
Because we spent our entire childhoods beingconditioned to think that this is bad and that
people who do this have no self control, butthere is no such thing as a bad food.
(09:07):
Yes, there are things that need to be eatenmore in moderation.
No, you probably shouldn't sit down and eat afive scoop ice cream sundae every single
night.
But you know what?
If you want to go with your kids to friendliesand have an ice cream sundae every once in a
while, you go right ahead.
That is totally fine.
It is not bad.
It is not going to ruin any so called diet.
(09:28):
It is not going to ruin your figure and itdoes not make you a bad person.
So at the holidays, there's going to be a lotmore things that are labeled in our culture as
bad.
So you just need to take that in your mind and
throw it away.
There are no bad foods.
(09:49):
So when you are sitting down, you want somemashed potatoes, you get some mashed potatoes,
you want an extra roll.
With your Christmas dinner, you get yourself
an extra roll, you want some dessert, have thedessert and enjoy it.
Enjoy every second.
And in fact, that is one of the things that is
really helpful when it comes to having a goodrelationship with food is mindfulness.
(10:17):
Having the mindfulness to really savor all ofit instead of just rushing through our food
like it's just something we're doing becausewe have to to survive.
Really enjoy your food.
Stop and think, how does this smell before you
take A bite?When you're focus on those savory smells or
(10:38):
the sweet smells of the cake or the cinnamonor whatever it is, how does it smell?
How does it taste when it's in my mouth?Really just enjoy every bite and savor it.
Don't rush.
Understand that it's okay, it's good, and so
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enjoy it.
Eating is not just an issue of, well, we need
food to survive.
There are emotional connections to food.
And we know that because there are foods thatcan.
Different hormones are released when we eatcertain things like endorphins.
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Food can make you feel happy.
They can make you feel comforted, they can
make you feel joy.
So here at everyday health, there is an
article where it talks about mindful eatingtips for the holidays.
And one of the nutritionists that wasinterviewed says this going into the day with
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a positive mindset and giving yourselfpermission to enjoy these foods will allow for
a more mindful experience, both in regard tothe food as well as your ability to enjoy the
holiday in general.
And this is a good point that she makes.
How can you enjoy a holiday if the entire timeyou're stressing about what you're eating?
Like, oh, no, I can't put that much mashedpotatoes on my plate.
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I need to just take a tiny bit and make surethere's tons of extra vegetables.
That's not enjoyable.
It's stressful.
So give yourself permission to enjoyeverything.
And then she continues on to say, focus onwhat you can add to your plate rather than
what needs to be avoided or taking away.
(12:29):
Actively trying to avoid foods you genuinely
enjoy only makes you think about those foodsmore.
That feeling of deprivation puts you atincreased risk of eating more of the food than
you would have eaten if you simply gaveyourself permission to eat the food mindfully
from the start.
So what does that mean?
(12:50):
It's kind of like the concept of binging andpurging.
If you never say, yeah, I'm going to havemashed potatoes every once in a while, and
that's okay.
As an example, you're never allowed to eat
mashed potatoes every time you go out to eat.
You can't have mashed potatoes as your side.
You get vegetables instead.
At your house, you never, ever, ever make
mashed potatoes.
(13:11):
You secretly love them, but you never let
yourself eat them.
And then all of a sudden, you're at your Aunt
Barbara Sue's house and she's got just tonsand tons of mashed potatoes but no healthy
sides.
And now you've been craving it, you've been
deprived and it's right in front of you andyou have no willpower.
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And so you're just going to binge and bingeand binge on it.
It's not healthy to say you can never havesomething.
Let yourself have things.
There is no a food that's bad or a food that's
good.
It's just food.
That's it.
And so whatever food it is that you're trying
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to enjoy, let yourself have it.
There is no, no, you should not have that.
Another thing that I think is really helpfulif we're talking about healthy relationships
with food, I know a lot of you moms out therehave got to feel the same way as me here, is
handling our stress levels.
(14:15):
Because how many of you out there, when you
are stressed out at the end of the day and youare just so wound up and everything has just
been insane, your kids have been going crazy,work stuff has got you just up the wall and
you feel like you just are about to break.
And then you reach for the food.
(14:35):
For me, it's the sweets.
I have a really bad sweet tooth.
So I will just be like cramming chocolate downmy throat or the pint of Ben and Jerry's.
And this used to be something that I wouldfeel guilty about.
And like I mentioned, now I don't because one,I don't do it on a regular basis.
So if every now and then I want to have a pintof Ben and Jerry's, and you know what?
(14:56):
I'm **** well going to have a pint of Ben andJerry's and I'm not going to feel a single
little ounce of guilt over it.
There is still part of me that wants to.
But when I do that is when I tell myself Ihave nothing to feel guilty for.
So tell yourself that until you start tobelieve it.
But the other part of that is to realize thatif we are very stressed out, it is that much
(15:21):
harder to make good decisions about our food.
Even if you're eating a ton of vegetables, too
much of anything is bad if you're stressedout.
And so food is a comfort for you when you arestressed, then you're going to overeat.
Regardless of what you're eating, you're goingto be overeating.
(15:43):
So the holidays are especially a stressfultime for moms more than anyone, because
everything falls on our shoulders.
We're the ones that have to take care of
everything.
We're the ones that have to do everything.
And God knows there is this pressure for us tofeel like the holidays have to be perfectly
(16:07):
magical for our kids or we have failed.
Right.
So it's important to handle that stress.
Take a walk for 10 minutes, 510 minutes.
You don't have to go crazy.
Just take some time outside and take a deep
(16:28):
breath and just kind of enjoy being away fromall the craziness.
Or tell your husband or your wife or whoeverit is, it's your partner.
Hey, I need a break.
I need to step away.
I'm going to go up in my room for, like, 10minutes, and I just need to chill.
Or maybe you just want to take a long bubblebath, whatever it is that destresses you.
(16:51):
I need an hour to go read a book.
Or maybe you just want to zone out watching TV
or Doom scroll on Instagram.
Whatever your thing is, let yourself do it.
Make sure you are giving yourself the time andthe space to relax and to destress and to calm
down.
(17:11):
Because if we are not stressed, we are much
more likely to eat well and to not go for justmindless eating.
One thing that you'll see a lot ofnutritionists say when it talks about having a
healthy mindset towards food is to eatpurposefully.
(17:34):
So that's where you don't want to just be kindof mindfully eating something because you're
stressed or you're bored.
And those are things that I do.
So work on your stress levels.
Make sure you're giving yourself time to
destress and to have time for yourself,because this is, again, let's face it, one of
(17:56):
those things.
Moms don't get times to ourselves during the
holidays, right?We're too busy running around doing everything
for everyone else.
So if you can take the time for you.
Make sure you are making that a priority,because this is a sad truth, but no one else
is going to.
No one else is going to make sure that you
(18:17):
have time for yourself this holiday season.
No one's going to prioritize you.
That's the way it is for moms.
Right?
We're the ones that run around doing thingsfor everyone else.
So you have to make sure that you take timefor yourself.
So when it comes to the holidays, I want youto stop worrying about things like, oh, no,
(18:46):
I'm eating.
I ate so bad at that holiday party last night.
I was terrible.
No, you weren't terrible.
You went to a party, you ate food you loved,and you had a great time.
Are you going to eat the exact same thing thenext day and the next day and the next day
after that?Probably not.
So why is it bad?You're allowed to splurge every once in a
while.
Stop worrying about how much you eat, or this
(19:10):
is a bad food or this has too many calories.
Hey, it's fine.
You're not doing it every day.
So if every once in a while you splurge and
just let yourself have whatever you want, it'snot the end of the world.
(19:31):
There doesn't have to be a negativeconnotation about everything when it comes to
food.
It's okay to let yourself just enjoy things.
Like, really, that's something that we have totell ourselves over and over again.
Because again, we grew up in just this toxicsoup of negative body image and diet culture,
(19:57):
and we have to work extra hard to get pastthat because we don't want to have this
negative relationship with our bodies and withfood.
And unfortunately, the media message that issent out during the holiday season, it's all
about, oh, well, don't gain weight.
Don't gain weight during the holidays.
Here's how you make sure you don't eat toomuch.
(20:19):
I want you to throw that all out of thewindow.
I want you to give yourself permission toenjoy yourself.
You're not going to holiday parties every day.
You're not going to holiday parties, likely
even every week.
So when you do go to one, enjoy it.
Enjoy it.
And when it's time for your Christmas dinner
(20:39):
or your Hanukkah dinner or Kwanzaa or whateverit is that you celebrate when that moment
comes along, then, hey, once again, this is aonce a year event.
Once a year.
Are we really going to be that strict on
ourselves that we can't indulge once a year?Right?
(21:03):
Like when you think about it that way, doesn'tit sound ridiculous?
It doesn't make any sense because no one iseating like this all the time.
I mean, God, as moms, who has time to, right?So it's frustrating.
(21:24):
It can be hard so often to fight back againstall of these conflicting messages that we get.
And that is what I want you to focus on.
I am no expert.
I am just a person who grew up in the earlytwo thousand s and somehow survived and has
(21:48):
been working so hard and like clawing toothand nail to get to some semblance of a
positive body image.
Despite everything that I grew up with, like
the messages in the media, messages from myfamily, messages just everywhere.
Don't gain weight.
It's the worst thing in the world.
Watch what you eat or else you're going to getfat.
(22:10):
No, don't put mayonnaise on that sandwich orit's going to go straight to your hips.
No, don't have ice cream because that's badfor you.
That's how we grew up.
And you know what?
It's time to let go of that.
That's not realistic.
It's not healthy.
And so when it comes to healthy eating during
the holidays, you need to just focus on doingwhat is best for you and what works for you.
(22:37):
Let yourself indulge every now and then.
Let yourself have what you want.
And get rid of those unhealthy associationswith food.
Let go of the guilt.
If it starts to come in, just remind yourself,
I have nothing to be guilty for.
Food is food.
It's food.
There is no morality to food.
None.
(22:57):
So when you see an article that's telling you
about healthy eating for the holidays and itinvolves not gaining weight, just remember,
that is a load of trash and you are betterthan that.
You don't have to abide by that.
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And you are allowed to enjoy yourself this
holiday season.
That's our episode for this week.
New episodes will drop every Monday.
Make sure to subscribe so you never miss out.
(23:39):
Leave us a review and share to help other momsfind us.
Thanks for stopping by the Fireflies and WhoopPea Pie podcast, the only podcast by South
Central PA moms or South Central PA moms.
Until next time.
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