#22 The Power of Talking Yourself Into Things Instead of Out of Them

Welcome to a new episode of the "Get Unstuck" podcast, where we explore the limitless potential available to us and how to reach it. I’m your host Murielle Marie, and today, we're going to delve into a fascinating topic: the power of talking ourselves into things instead of talking ourselves out of them. So often, we find ourselves hesitating, doubting, and giving in to negative self-talk. But by shifting our mindset and embracing a positive self-narrative, we can unlock our true potential and achieve remarkable things. I’ve witnessed it in my life many times, and I see it in my coaching practice every day. That’s why I wanted to share about it in this episode. There is just so much to be gained from focusing on the positive instead of the negative. It’s truly life-changing. 

Let me start by sharing a personal story. When I decided to become a coach back in 2014 (I know that’s almost a decade ago, and I cannot believe it!), one of the things I had to do in order to get “the word out there” about my new career and work, was to start a blog. If you’ve listened to this podcast before, you might know that I’m a writer, currently finishing her second book - titled, tada - “Get Unstuck!”. By the way, I’ll add a link to a sign-up form on my website if you’re interested to know when the book comes out next month. So I write, and I love it - at least non-fiction. Fiction, which I’m also doing through the writing academy here in Antwerp, is a whole different thing. And something that still humbles me more than it enchants me, as I work to try and get a thriller about generational trauma on to paper. Anyway, back to the blog. 

When I first decided to start it, now almost 10 years ago, I couldn’t get a word onto paper. I spoke about this more in a previous episode of this podcast, especially about how it felt like I was battling a life-long writer’s block. The reason for it was: self-doubt and perfectionism crept in. So much so that I initially talked myself out of it, fearing failure and criticism. Luckily, I had a great coach at the time - my first one. Kate, this is a shout-out to you! I love you! She helped me see what was truly going on, and eventually got me writing. One of the things that helped the most was to shift the negative  self-talk around failure and criticism to positive self-talk about what the blog could mean for my business and my potential and future readers.

When I think back on those first blog posts and how hard it was for me to write them, I can’t imagine even having felt that way. I still publish a new article on my blog and write a newsletter every other week. I write books, social media posts and so much more. It comes naturally to me now. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I’d allowed myself to buy into the negative self-talk. Would I have the business I have today? Would I even be speaking to you through this podcast right now? I don’t think so.

Negative self-talk can be incredibly detrimental. It plants seeds of doubt, limits our beliefs, and hinders - or sometimes even stops - our progress. Have you ever found yourself talking yourself out of something, only to regret it later? Perhaps it was a chance to pursue a new career path, start a business, or even ask someone out on a date. If you have, it's time to change that narrative.

The reality is: we all suffer from this. Every day in my work and my private life I am confronted with negative self-talk, doubts, insecurities, impostor syndrome. Just a few days ago, one of my strongest and most inspiring clients sent me a message telling me she was just a few inches away from throwing away all of the hard work she had done for her upcoming book. “I’m a failure, why would anyone want to read what I have to say, who am I to believe that I can offer something to the world, that my story matters?”

This is someone who is incredible: smart, capable, resilient, funny, compassionate, strong… I mean, I really love her so much. She’s an inspiration in my life. And still, even someone as strong and badass as her, feels like shit sometimes. That’s what negative self-talk will do to you. 

In fact, most (if not all) successful people have faced self-doubt at some point in their lives. But they chose to talk themselves into their goals and aspirations instead. 

Take Van Gogh, the famous french sunflower painter. He only sold one (one!) painting during his life. Even though he produced over 900 paintings over his lifetime, only “Red Vineyard at Arles” was sold while he was alive. Or think about Michael Jordan, the athlete and basketball player that led the Chicago Bulls to championship victory six times. He was dropped from the basketball team in high school. If he had let negative self-talk get the better of him, would we even know his name? Jordan isn’t shy about failure either (the subject of last week’s episode); he says he owes his success to all the missed shots he took during relen