July 7, 2025 • 38 mins
In this episode of Getting Real with Bossy, we dive into financial empowerment, particularly focusing on the pivotal role women play in financial decision-making. Abbe F. Large, managing director at Lenox Advisors, and a prominent advocate for women's financial literacy, joins us to share her insights from her extensive experience in the financial services sector. She elucidates the significance of inclusive financial planning, emphasizing that discussions about finances should not be relegated to one partner. Abbe also underscores the importance of cultivating an environment where children are educated about money matters from an early age- instilling a sense of security and competence in financial management. This conversation sheds light on the urgent need to dismantle the taboos surrounding financial discussions and encourages a proactive approach to financial education for all family members.
The podcast episode features a profound discussion on the intricate relationship between women and financial empowerment. We talk about the historical context, which has rendered financial discussions a source of anxiety and avoidance for many women, attributing this phenomenon to societal norms that have long discouraged women from engaging in financial planning. The conversation covers the pivotal role that women play in financial decision-making within families, advocating for their inclusion in all financial discussions. Abbe emphasizes the necessity of breaking the cycle of silence surrounding money, suggesting that fostering open dialogues about finances in familial settings can cultivate a generation of financially prepared individuals. She recounts her own experiences in the male-dominated financial industry, illuminating the importance of ensuring that women are not sidelined in financial planning discussions, particularly in the face of life's uncertainties.
Throughout the episode, listeners are presented with revelations about the emotional complexities surrounding money, and how these can impact familial relationships. Abbe passionately conveys the idea that financial literacy should not be a privilege but a fundamental component of upbringing. She advocates for parents to normalize conversations about money, investments, and budgeting in front of their children, which can demystify financial concepts and empower the next generation. The discussion also touches upon the importance of legacy, not merely as a matter of wealth transfer but as a means of imparting values and lessons that can guide future generations in their financial journeys. Overall, the episode serves as a call for women to embrace their financial destinies and for families to engage in candid discussions about money management.
Takeaways:
- The podcast emphasizes the significance of involving women in financial decision-making processes, highlighting their influence and necessity for empowerment.
- Abbe talks about the necessity of early financial education for children to foster confidence and competence in managing money.
- The conversation reveals the emotional complexities surrounding money and the importance of addressing these feelings openly within families.
- Listeners are encouraged to challenge traditional financial gender roles and promote inclusivity in financial discussions and planning.
- The episode illustrates how financial literacy can alleviate fears surrounding money, particularly for women who often feel intimidated by financial topics.
- Abbe shares personal experiences that underscore the need for transparent conversations about finances to break generational cycles of financial ignorance.
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- Lenox Advisors
Links referenced in this episode:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:47):
Welcome back to anotherepisode of Getting Real with Bossy,
the podcast that tells youwhat it's really like to be a business
owner.
Today's guest is Abby F.
Large and we are going to tellyou what that means later.
But Abby is Forbes topfinancial security professional at
Lenox Advisors.
With decades in the financialservice services world, Abby brings
(01:09):
a sharp focus to estateplanning, protection products and
and making sure families aretruly prepared for life's toughest
curve balls.
She's also a powerful voice inthe often overlooked influence women
have in financial decisionmaking, how to balance career and
caregiving, and why legacy isabout more than just numbers.
(01:29):
So join us and let's dive intoa real conversation with someone
who knows how to make thefinancial world feel just a little
bit more human.
Welcome.
Thank you, Kelly.
So happy to have you.
I'm so happy to be here.
Money is something we talkabout in Bossy so much.
It is such a scary word for women.
We talk about why that is somany reasons.
(01:52):
We're just, we were raiseddifferently than, than our brothers.
Money and financial planningwasn't discussed with us as young
people and even into adulthood.
There are so many reasons whyjust money tends to be a scary thing
to talk about.
And as we grow into womanhoodand business ownership, it is something
(02:16):
we need to be comfortabletalking about.
So we're so excited to haveyou on the show.
So welcome.
Thank you.
This topic is, it's very hotthese days.
I seem talking about it a lotand I've been doing this for 31 years
and when I first started,well, first of all, I'm in an industry
(02:37):
that's dominated by men, right.
And so I was one of the firstfew women that made it, I guess,
and have the longevity that I have.
But I have seen a lot in mythree decades of doing this and most
(02:58):
of the time it's the men thatI talk to about their partner or
their wife or what have youand they always, you know, in the
past they would say, yeah,she's not interested in this kind
of planning or you know, it'sjust confusing, just deal with me.
And I kind of, you know, wentwith that in the beginning.
But as I've matured and I haveexperienced, it's a non negotiable
(03:25):
for me now not to include thewoman or the wife, you know, the
wife or the partner, whatever,because I don't.
They say they're notinterested really, they're not interested
in making sure they can stayin the house if something happens
to you.
They're not interested inmaking sure that their kids, your
kids, can go to college financially.
(03:49):
She's not interested in makingsure that there's enough money to
live a long life.
How are you saying she's not interested?
And that's just, it's just, itdoesn't happen.
So it's a non negotiable forme now to meet the partner, meet
the spouse, to tell them who Iam, what I do.
(04:12):
Because even if they're notinterested in getting in the weeds,
it's important to know who I am.
Because if something happens,they know me, they can call me, they
don't need to speak to strangers.
If they're not interested ingetting the weeds or if they are
interested in getting theweeds, they have an opinion and it's
important to bring to thetable because there's a dynamic between
(04:33):
the two people.
Now you mentioned the moneyword and how we never talk about
it, et cetera, et cetera.
And what when you get thedecision makers of a home in front
of, you know, front andcenter, you're really able to, to
(04:54):
get them to understand thatit's important to talk about money
in front of the kids early and often.
Absolutely.
They think it's taboo and it's not.
And I can't tell you how manytimes, even last night I had a discovery
call with a couple, a youngcouple with three children.
(05:14):
She grew up in a bitprivileged and he grew up where the,
you know, not so much.
And she never was taught aboutdebt or credit or investing, saving,
philanthropy, never taught.
And so she felt a little bitdefeated and a little unempowered,
(05:41):
should we say.
And it resonated to her nothaving a voice which is not okay.
It's not okay.
And so, you know, these arebold conversations that you have
to have.
And if I'm not having them,who is?
(06:02):
So I feel very strongly aboutmaking bold statements in a professional
way so that they stop themadness of not talking about money
and not planning and notbudgeting and not talking about cash
flows, inflows.
(06:23):
I can't tell you how manytimes I had to ask what is your monthly
expenses?
Like they don't know.
And it's.
Thankfully they're talking toa financial advisor.
Thankfully they're doing thatcheck on their.
Good for you.
But there's some work to bedone, right?
There's some undoing to bedone, bad habits, things like that.
(06:45):
So I think it's reallyimperative for all the listeners
out there that have youngchildren to start talking about money
at the dinner Table.
And it's really important.
It should not be a taboo thing.
Because money is a thing.
It's a thing.
It's a noun, but it couldbecome a verb.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
(07:06):
So it's so important to becomfortable about just talking openly
about saving, investing,spending, giving it away.
It's so important to be ableto go down those avenues with your
(07:28):
children and have openconversations with your spouse in
front of your children so thatthey see the healthy verbiage that
goes on between a couple andwhat they're going through.
Their budget, their cashflows, inflows, outflows, investments,
tax loss, harvesting all these things.
What does that mean?
(07:48):
Credit, debt, interest rates, taxes.
It's really important.
And it doesn't have to be scary.
It just can.
You can do it together, youcan learn together, you can make
it fun.
You can give your kids.
You can give your kidsactivities to do when they're young.
(08:09):
And I also believe verystrongly in not tying what's the
allowances to good grades.
Oh, God, I hate that.
Right?
Or kids that don't do well in school.
Yep.
Good grades.
(08:29):
Or.
Or chores around the house.
I feel really strongly thatwhen children are growing up in a
household, that's your.
That's their first community.
And you have to participate.
And you have to participate.
You have to share.
You have to share in the chores.
You have to, you know, yourplate's dirty, go put it in the dishwasher,
you know, go clean, go takeout the garbage, make your bed, clean
(08:51):
up your room.
All these things should not betied to an allowance.
What should be tied to thosethings are love and pride because
they're doing a good job, youknow, a grade, because then they'll
grow up in adulthood thinkingthat those, that that's what money
(09:11):
means.
Like, that's tie it together.
And it shouldn't be that.
It should just be.
I'm so proud of you.
Oh, my goodness.
You must be so proud of yourself.
This is incredible.
Hugs.
Kisses.
Just love and that, I think,in my opinion, with my own children,
(09:32):
I can speak from experience.
That gives them pride, itgives them confidence, and it makes
them secure.
Right.
Knowing that they're supported.
But when the money, whenthere's an allowance, you need to
tie that allowance to teachingthem how to save it, how to spend
(09:53):
it, how to invest it, and howto give it away.
That's the purpose of an allowance.
And you can talk about that,all of those things separately or
together or whatever it is.
But it's very important tocreate those habits.
When the kids are young sothat they're.
There's this a healthy emotiontied to money because money is very
(10:17):
emotional.
And it's hard too because itused to be something you held, right?
Like you went to the mall as a kid.
I'm aging myself here.
You know, malls barely even exist.
And you had cash, right?
Like you had cash in yourpocket and that's what you had to
spend.
Like if you were going to buysomething at the food court or you
were going to buy a newsweater, that was the money you had
(10:39):
to spend.
Even now my kids, that's allon credit, right?
Like they don't carry cash.
I carry their cash for them inan account on my phone that tells
me how much money they have, right?
It's this Venmo Zell.
It's even harder now, I thinkto get people to understand, especially
when they're young becausethere's no transaction changing hands.
(10:59):
It's all in this likenetherworld, right?
So.
And I think for women it wasalready difficult to step up and
have these conversations andif, you know, most of the people
in your career are men, to askquestions and to feel empowered in
a room where, you know, thefinancial advisor is the smartest
person in the room and it's aman and you're there with your spouse,
(11:22):
you know, the amount of levelsof insecurity that bound up.
And then to have a woman sitdown and be like, no, you need to
be a part of thisconversation, that's very empowering
in itself.
(11:54):
Nobody really says no to me anymore.
I think it's because of myinternal belief and experiences that
they kind of get the vibe andthe energy that I'm not having it
any other way.
And yeah, I haven't really hadany pushback with that.
So for anyone that'slistening, if you are a financial
(12:16):
advisor and you're onlydealing with the bill payer or the,
you know, gentleman of thehouse, push, push back on that.
It's really important andespecially for men to recognize that
not just a woman advisor, men,advisors have to have to lean into
that because the majority ofour business are men, right?
(12:38):
If there's going to be amassive shift, men need to pivot
in that direction and theyneed to do it like pronto.
And it's surprising that itwasn't happening already because
women generally outlive men, right?
That transfer of wealth isgoing to.
Women at that point in time,women were taking over the accounts
(12:58):
anyway.
So you would think that youwould naturally want a relationship
with that person.
So it's just fascinating tothink that that wasn't happening.
Yeah, it's not happening.
It's really fascinating to me.
I meet people that are HarvardMBAs and you know, the wife has chosen
to stay home and the hardestjob in the world, which it truly
(13:23):
is.
And they don't even have theirown checking account.
They have no idea.
You know, some of them are notpaying the bills.
They just, they just don't know.
And it's just not okay anymore.
And I think we as women, asfinancial advisors need to lean into
that and make, and make amassive shift.
(13:44):
Because you're right, women dolive longer than men.
And they say that, you know,women, you know, wind up killing,
but that's, that's, that'sjust not true.
Yeah, you know, women areliving longer and there's an epidemic
that's going to be happeningin the generation of baby boomers,
(14:05):
which is the first in ourlifetimes, which are people that
are living too long.
Longevity has become anotherfinancial risk because people are
not planning enough forretirement funds to live this long
life.
They think, you know, lifeexpectancy is not as great, but people
(14:29):
can live well into their 90sand people run out of money.
It's really.
And then there's long termcare, right?
People are being fragile andit's fascinating to me because the
healthier you are in yourolder age, the more you, the more
(14:51):
not even a chance like youwill have a long term care need.
You know, there's the fourhorsemen, right?
There's cancer, heart disease,diabetes and cognitive impairment.
And I can't tell you how manytimes I hear the cognitive impairment,
cancer, heart disease, like Ican't, it's all, it's constant with
my clients and their parents.
(15:12):
And a lot of people are like,what do we do?
We're taking care of kids,we're taking care of our parents.
We're in the sandwich yearsand it is becoming an epidemic.
So much so that states areputting a tax on, on people if they
(15:36):
don't have a long term care policy.
Did you know that?
Really?
I did not know that.
What states?
I have not heard anythingabout this.
Washington state already did it.
Okay.
There are many states that areconsidering it.
And you will have a tax, along term care tax if you don't show
(15:57):
that you have a viable otheroption like a long term, like a standalone
long term care policy or alife insurance policy that is a long
term care rider.
But it's, it is fascinatingbecause that is so telling of where
our world is going Right.
You don't really.
You don't really think aboutthe lot, the age issue of living
(16:21):
that long.
Like, my great aunt is 99.
Yeah.
My grandma was in her 90s whenshe passed.
Like, you don't really.
You don't see it that often,so you don't really think about.
You know, our parents are intheir 70s and 80s.
They don't seem old, which, ifyou said those numbers when I was
in my 20, I'd be like, oh, myGod, you know, 55.
(16:42):
So old now.
You're like, no.
You know, working part of thecommunity, you know, doing all of
the things.
It was Eisenhower that createdthe Social Security act, and in 1945,
I believe it was.
And back then, you weren'texpected to last until 65.
(17:05):
They extended the age rightnow, but back then, Nobody lived
past 65.
And my dad technically retiredat 50.
Like, he did his 30 years.
You know, he's still working,but he did his 30 years and he retired.
And I always laughed about itbecause I was like, well, what happens
if, like, you're retiring at midlife?
(17:25):
What do you do for the.
Yeah, it's called a halftime report.
Yeah.
And he's like, well, I'm gonnastill work because, A, I need the
money, and, B, I'm bored.
But, yeah, not a lot of peopleretire and sell off into the sunset
anymore.
They decide to do somethingthat they're passionate about, you
know, a pet project, or theyjust pivot in a way that drives the
(17:46):
passion rather than the paycheck.
Well, and you also don't seepeople doing careers like that anymore.
I mean, how many people aregetting 30 years in at 50 years old?
But not very often.
Right.
You have what?
I think it's like, fivecareers is the new average in your
lifetime.
Is that right?
Five careers.
Something that was surprisingto me.
(18:07):
I was like, that's a high number.
But if you do it for 10 yearsand you pivot, working for 50 years
is not unheard of.
If you start at 16 and you'reliving to be 85.
Yeah.
I started working when I was,like, I don't know, 12.
Yeah.
I did a paper babysitting at 11.
(18:28):
Yeah.
I wanted money.
Yep.
I needed it.
I needed to pay for everythingthat I had.
So I don't know anything else,but, you know, working for my own
money.
And I think that that is alsovery important, that it's, you know,
that women understand what itfeels like to earn money.
It's empowering.
(18:50):
And I think that to fosterindependence, I think that that is
a very important thing to dois to have your own checking account,
your own savings, your owninvestment account, your own money.
I don't know, I've neverreally signed up for.
(19:11):
I just want to marry somebodythat has money that's just not that,
you know, some people do thatand that's okay, but it's not independent.
And if you want to beindependent, well, you got to put
your foot in the door there.
So something I seegenerationally I feel like and people
didn't really talk aboutmoney, so maybe this existed before.
Maybe you have a different answer.
(19:31):
But I feel like my parentsgeneration, it was joint checking
accounts.
You had a lot of stay at homemoms or part time working once kids
went to school.
So it was just joint checking.
The husband generally workedthe full time job and got the benefits.
You might have had a dualincome house, but you still had the,
the joint familial money.
But it's kind of like the, thequestion of the generation.
(19:55):
Like I do, I question my, myfriends just to see what they're
doing, you know, having ajoint checking, having the joint
finances or some people havecompletely separate finances and
then like pay into an accountto pay your bills, you know, your
mortgage and your car paymentand all that stuff.
And both people in thecouplehood pay in but they keep all
their money completely separate.
(20:15):
Is that something that you'reseeing more often in the younger
generations, the post baby boomers?
I am, I am seeing a lot of that.
I don't know what that shiftis about.
I just, maybe it's more andmore women are leaning into that.
(20:36):
When I grew up, exactly that.
You know, my parents didn'thave a lot of money.
They lived paycheck to paycheck.
We never really talked about money.
I saw them spend it onthemselves but.
And they didn't spend it on me.
I remember my father, healways had a boat and I had to go
(20:57):
to the Salvation army to buymy pants for class, you know.
So I have this very deepfeeling about well, if it's going
to be, it's up to me.
I couldn't rely on and backthen it hurt.
(21:20):
But now I'm kind of gratefulfor it because it taught me how to
be independent.
And if I wanted my own thingsand I wanted my own independence
and my own money, I had towork for it.
And I did.
And the work createsresiliency and grit and knowledge
(21:42):
and maturity and learning howto deal with relationships and people.
So there's a lot of real,there's a lot of really good stuff
that comes from that.
Having said that, though, youknow, there could be a household
where it's just impossible.
Like, you know, someone has tostay home.
Someone has to stay home.
(22:02):
And that job, it's really tough.
But I think that it'simportant for whoever's home with
the kids that theconversations that you're talking
about, right, your checkingaccount, the credit cards, the bills,
(22:24):
all these things, things.
Those conversations should bedone in front of children.
It shouldn't be so secretbecause how are the kids going to
learn how to talk to theirspouses about money?
You know, it's astonishing tome, people don't realize that children
mirror your behavior, and thenwhat happens is they mirror the behavior
(22:45):
in adulthood and you don'tbreak a chain.
And I think it's important tobreak a chain if it's not right for
your family.
You know what I mean?
I was gonna mention thatearlier when you were talking about
teaching your kids that it'sreally doing things in front of them.
Like, I learned a lot.
My dad being a truck driver,we had times where things were really
great.
And at the time he was gettingpaid really well compared to the
(23:08):
average, you know, male workerof his age.
And then there were times hewasn't working.
So you had zero money comingin and it was, okay, how are we gonna
navigate this?
And some of it was witnessingarguments, and some of it was watching,
you know, the bill pay happenand the shifting of money and the
taking on of debt and justwitnessing it.
Even though there wasn't maybea conversation happening, seeing
(23:31):
it made me less scared of itbecause we did always get through.
Yeah.
And I saw the outcome.
Right.
It's kind of like fighting infront of your kids is important because
they need to see the outcome of.
They fought, but they're happy.
Like, they got through it.
The making up also needs tohappen in front of them.
Right.
Like, you have to show what'sgoing on and how to live in this
(23:52):
crazy world.
Yeah, it's a little bit crazyright now, too.
And, you know, what you'redescribing is leading by example.
(24:17):
You have to lead by example.
Right.
For us, everything was hidden.
So.
And when I get into adulthoodand go, oh, like, I'm completely
this up, like, I don't knowwhere to turn to because I'm.
And my mom's like, oh, well,we have these problems.
I'm like, well, that wouldhave been nice to know.
Like, I'm holding all of this in.
(24:39):
I had no idea.
Like, this is this Is normal.
And I like, I take this intomy adulthood now.
Like I'm in menopause.
I just went to the doctor yesterday.
Sorry for the TMI guys, butlike all of these things I'm feeling
are normal.
I wish, I wish somebody wouldhave told me this.
Like, I have no idea.
But like, you gotta talk aboutthese things.
(24:59):
They're important to share.
And I did not know that all ofthe normal struggles you go through,
those ins and outs, there'stimes when things are good, there's
times when things are bad.
There's times where you haveto lean into credit a little bit.
There's times when money comesin and then what do you do with that
money?
I did not know and got myselfinto some really difficult times
(25:20):
with credit card debt.
And I didn't always.
I didn't know what to dobecause nobody really shared that
in the way I grew up.
And I wish I had that.
I have that now.
Now we talk about that.
My mother and I talk aboutthat stuff.
And I know a lot of that stuff.
I did not have that growing up.
And I wish I had.
Yeah, even if you don't haveit growing up, you can learn it in
(25:43):
adult life.
Which I think is really.
Which is exactly what happenedto me.
I mean, we never talked about money.
I saw them spending it all on themselves.
We were paycheck to paycheck.
I would assume we didn't live.
We lived modestly.
You know, I didn't have a lotof money growing up.
Always worked, but they never,they never sat me down and talked
(26:05):
about any of this ever.
I had to learn it inadulthood, which is a whole different
ball of wax.
Right.
I thank God that I am in thebusiness that I'm in because obviously
a lot of this is self taught.
A lot of it is taught from myhusband who is always so responsible
(26:27):
with his finances.
I mean, when my dad passed, mydad passed in 2019 and I was estranged
from my family because of the dysfunction.
And when I found out my dadwas dying of pancreatic cancer, I
(26:48):
just sort of put that to theside and I decided that I'm going
to be the daughter that heneeds me to be.
And they lived in Texas and Ilived here in Connecticut.
So my children were seniors atthe time.
So I was missing a lot oftheir senior year.
I was traveling back and forth.
He only survived three months.
But during those three months,I had to clean up the finances.
(27:10):
And oh my God, was I blown away.
He had 26 credit cards.
Oh my God, you can have 26credit cards.
It just kept.
Once you have debt, they justwant to give you more debt.
That's exactly right.
That's exactly.
He'd roll over his debt intoanother credit card, and he would
continue to do this.
Continued to continue.
It was really bad, and it was shocking.
(27:33):
It was really shocking.
And I had to deal with all of that.
I had to close out all theaccounts I had.
I mean, I had to just, like,cleaned it up.
But it.
It really resonated with mebecause it hit me bone deep how dysfunctional
that was and how it could happen.
And it could happen easilywith anyone who doesn't understand
(27:57):
and wasn't taught how tomanage money, how to handle it.
And that's what we talkedabout before.
Money is money, but it's whatit does to people that just takes
up a whole personality of its own.
So, yeah, I mean, I didn'thave these tools growing up, but.
(28:18):
But I was really, reallywanting to break the chain with my
own children.
And we started very earlytalking to them about allowances
and saving, spending,investing, giving it away.
And we would give them littleassignments to do.
Like, if a family wants to goon a family trip, I would say, here's
(28:43):
the budget.
Present to us three placesthat you think we should go.
Airfare, hotel activities, everything.
And guess what?
They did it.
And we on this vacation.
And I just showed up.
My husband and I just showed up.
They took care of everything.
(29:03):
Well, now they're, you know, adult.
They're adulting now.
And when.
And I.
I'm terrible at making travel plans.
I mean, if up to me, I'd windup in Timbuktu somewhere.
I was just terrible at it, andit's not my superpower.
And I said to my daughter, I'mlike, could you please handle this
for me?
She said, no problem.
I'll take care of it.
You know, if we're going on afamily vacation now, can you take
(29:25):
care of the reservations?
Absolutely.
We got it.
And I don't need to thinkabout it.
That's pretty cool.
And here's what's cool about that.
Because they learned how towork together.
They learned how to communicate.
They learned how to negotiate.
They learned how to schedule.
They.
They learned how to budget.
They learned all of this stuffwhen they were teens, and they saw
(29:48):
and they experienced what itfeels like, right?
You have to feel it.
You can't just say it withoutexperiencing it.
Experiences are totally different.
So they experienced what itwas like to have that budget to talk
it through, to figure outwhere we're going all these things.
Coordination, all of it.
(30:10):
And now, I mean, they talkabout building their credit.
They talk about what creditcard has this benefit and that benefit
and this.
It's astonishing to me, theconversations that they're having
now, only because that we gavethem these little, you know, activities
to do while they were growing up.
It became this.
This, you know, like, breathing.
(30:30):
It was just natural to talk about.
So I think it's important tostart early and often with all of
those things, you know, I love it.
Absolutely.
And that's so empowering, too.
I imagine that it was a muchless stressful vacation with the
kids being a part of it.
Right?
It was.
I mean, I just.
(30:51):
Like I said, I just showed up,and it was so fun.
And it was more fun becausethey earned that responsibility and
they understood it.
Yeah, they.
They really, bone deep,understood it.
(31:12):
So I love how empowering itis, not only that you're empowering
other women, but how you gotto the position you're in and how
you did break that chain andyou did see how you were brought
up and made the decision tolive life differently, which I think
a lot of people struggle with.
Right.
We.
(31:32):
We internalize a lot.
We think we're failing atthings because we don't know the
answers.
We don't want to ask the questions.
We're embarrassed.
You know, you end up in this,like, it just keeps piling on.
But you took the reins and youchanged it, and it's.
Here you are as a grown womangoing through your father's finances,
which stayed how they werewhen you were a child.
(31:54):
And you're on the a complete180, taking control, understanding,
knowing, empowering.
So I think this is a greattime to talk about your middle initial,
because you do use your middle initial.
And we talked about it beforewe were recording, and I think that
you should share it.
Okay.
Perfect timing.
Perfect timing, Kelly.
Thank you.
(32:14):
Yeah.
So the F is very important forme because, number one, it stands
for my maiden name, which isFalk F, A L, K.
And, you know, my maiden.
My.
My married name, Large.
You know, you really have toown that, right?
You really have to own that, Large.
(32:35):
So when I was putting togethermy one sheet and everything for the
podcast, I asked my assistant,I said, do you think I should leave
the F in for my name?
She's like, absolutely.
I said, why?
She.
Because you're Abby fucking Large.
That's why.
And that was it.
It stuck.
I was like, done.
So that part is really important.
(32:56):
It's perfect.
And when you told the storybefore, it was a great story.
But then hearing all of thistoday, it's even more empowering.
You are Abby fucking Large.
I have to remind myself ofthat every day.
And that's why it's importantto have that F, because, you know,
sometimes you get self doubtor you have imposter syndrome, or
(33:17):
you're like, where am I andwhat am I doing?
Do I belong here?
And the answer is, fuck yeah,I do.
I've worked for it.
We're going to make you someswag and send it to you.
Swag.
So I think that's everybody'schallenge today.
Use your look at your middleinitial and figure out what name,
how you're going to rebrandthat for yourself.
(33:39):
Yeah, kind of my brand now.
It's really funny.
Or we're all going to changeour middle name to something that
starts with an F.
Absolutely.
So, Abby, if somebody wantedto use your services, do you offer
services virtually or are youjust in Connecticut?
No, virtual for sure.
In fact, some people found methrough a podcast who lives in California
(34:01):
and she's a dear friend andclient now.
So, yeah, I have a lot ofpeople that are connecting with me.
I do a lot of remote work.
You know, thankfully, Covidallowed us, opened up the door to
that.
So, yeah, all over thecountry, licensed everywhere.
And if anybody wants to reachout to me, they can do so through
(34:22):
my LinkedIn or they can simplyemail me at alargenuxadvisors.com
that's 1 n, l, e n o x a d v I s.
And I'm sure you're going tohave it in your notes for the show.
Absolutely, yeah.
Awesome.
Well, thank you for joiningus, Abby.
Your story is fascinating.
I love what you're doing.
(34:43):
We all need you in our lives.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for your commitmentto including women and making sure
they are part of everyconversation that they need to be
in.
Oh, absolutely.
Spread the word.
We will, we will.
Awesome.
Thanks for having so much.
(35:03):
Thank you, Abby.
Welcome back to anotherepisode of Getting Real with Bossy,
the podcast that tells youwhat it's really like to be a business
owner.
Today's guest is Abby F.
Large and we are going to tellyou what that means later.
But Abby is Forbes topfinancial security professional at
Lenox Advisors.
With decades in the financialservice services world, Abby brings
(01:09):
a sharp focus to estateplanning, protection products and
and making sure families aretruly prepared for life's toughest
curve balls.
She's also a powerful voice inthe often overlooked influence women
have in financial decisionmaking, how to balance career and
caregiving, and why legacy isabout more than just numbers.
(01:29):
So join us and let's dive intoa real conversation with someone
who knows how to make thefinancial world feel just a little
bit more human.
Welcome.
Thank you, Kelly.
So happy to have you.
I'm so happy to be here.
Money is something we talkabout in Bossy so much.
It is such a scary word for women.
We talk about why that is somany reasons.
(01:52):
We're just, we were raiseddifferently than, than our brothers.
Money and financial planningwasn't discussed with us as young
people and even into adulthood.
There are so many reasons whyjust money tends to be a scary thing
to talk about.
And as we grow into womanhoodand business ownership, it is something
(02:16):
we need to be comfortabletalking about.
So we're so excited to haveyou on the show.
So welcome.
Thank you.
This topic is, it's very hotthese days.
I seem talking about it a lotand I've been doing this for 31 years
and when I first started,well, first of all, I'm in an industry
(02:37):
that's dominated by men, right.
And so I was one of the firstfew women that made it, I guess,
and have the longevity that I have.
But I have seen a lot in mythree decades of doing this and most
(02:58):
of the time it's the men thatI talk to about their partner or
their wife or what have youand they always, you know, in the
past they would say, yeah,she's not interested in this kind
of planning or you know, it'sjust confusing, just deal with me.
And I kind of, you know, wentwith that in the beginning.
But as I've matured and I haveexperienced, it's a non negotiable
(03:25):
for me now not to include thewoman or the wife, you know, the
wife or the partner, whatever,because I don't.
They say they're notinterested really, they're not interested
in making sure they can stayin the house if something happens
to you.
They're not interested inmaking sure that their kids, your
kids, can go to college financially.
(03:49):
She's not interested in makingsure that there's enough money to
live a long life.
How are you saying she's not interested?
And that's just, it's just, itdoesn't happen.
So it's a non negotiable forme now to meet the partner, meet
the spouse, to tell them who Iam, what I do.
(04:12):
Because even if they're notinterested in getting in the weeds,
it's important to know who I am.
Because if something happens,they know me, they can call me, they
don't need to speak to strangers.
If they're not interested ingetting the weeds or if they are
interested in getting theweeds, they have an opinion and it's
important to bring to thetable because there's a dynamic between
(04:33):
the two people.
Now you mentioned the moneyword and how we never talk about
it, et cetera, et cetera.
And what when you get thedecision makers of a home in front
of, you know, front andcenter, you're really able to, to
(04:54):
get them to understand thatit's important to talk about money
in front of the kids early and often.
Absolutely.
They think it's taboo and it's not.
And I can't tell you how manytimes, even last night I had a discovery
call with a couple, a youngcouple with three children.
(05:14):
She grew up in a bitprivileged and he grew up where the,
you know, not so much.
And she never was taught aboutdebt or credit or investing, saving,
philanthropy, never taught.
And so she felt a little bitdefeated and a little unempowered,
(05:41):
should we say.
And it resonated to her nothaving a voice which is not okay.
It's not okay.
And so, you know, these arebold conversations that you have
to have.
And if I'm not having them,who is?
(06:02):
So I feel very strongly aboutmaking bold statements in a professional
way so that they stop themadness of not talking about money
and not planning and notbudgeting and not talking about cash
flows, inflows.
(06:23):
I can't tell you how manytimes I had to ask what is your monthly
expenses?
Like they don't know.
And it's.
Thankfully they're talking toa financial advisor.
Thankfully they're doing thatcheck on their.
Good for you.
But there's some work to bedone, right?
There's some undoing to bedone, bad habits, things like that.
(06:45):
So I think it's reallyimperative for all the listeners
out there that have youngchildren to start talking about money
at the dinner Table.
And it's really important.
It should not be a taboo thing.
Because money is a thing.
It's a thing.
It's a noun, but it couldbecome a verb.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
(07:06):
So it's so important to becomfortable about just talking openly
about saving, investing,spending, giving it away.
It's so important to be ableto go down those avenues with your
(07:28):
children and have openconversations with your spouse in
front of your children so thatthey see the healthy verbiage that
goes on between a couple andwhat they're going through.
Their budget, their cashflows, inflows, outflows, investments,
tax loss, harvesting all these things.
What does that mean?
(07:48):
Credit, debt, interest rates, taxes.
It's really important.
And it doesn't have to be scary.
It just can.
You can do it together, youcan learn together, you can make
it fun.
You can give your kids.
You can give your kidsactivities to do when they're young.
(08:09):
And I also believe verystrongly in not tying what's the
allowances to good grades.
Oh, God, I hate that.
Right?
Or kids that don't do well in school.
Yep.
Good grades.
(08:29):
Or.
Or chores around the house.
I feel really strongly thatwhen children are growing up in a
household, that's your.
That's their first community.
And you have to participate.
And you have to participate.
You have to share.
You have to share in the chores.
You have to, you know, yourplate's dirty, go put it in the dishwasher,
you know, go clean, go takeout the garbage, make your bed, clean
(08:51):
up your room.
All these things should not betied to an allowance.
What should be tied to thosethings are love and pride because
they're doing a good job, youknow, a grade, because then they'll
grow up in adulthood thinkingthat those, that that's what money
(09:11):
means.
Like, that's tie it together.
And it shouldn't be that.
It should just be.
I'm so proud of you.
Oh, my goodness.
You must be so proud of yourself.
This is incredible.
Hugs.
Kisses.
Just love and that, I think,in my opinion, with my own children,
(09:32):
I can speak from experience.
That gives them pride, itgives them confidence, and it makes
them secure.
Right.
Knowing that they're supported.
But when the money, whenthere's an allowance, you need to
tie that allowance to teachingthem how to save it, how to spend
(09:53):
it, how to invest it, and howto give it away.
That's the purpose of an allowance.
And you can talk about that,all of those things separately or
together or whatever it is.
But it's very important tocreate those habits.
When the kids are young sothat they're.
There's this a healthy emotiontied to money because money is very
(10:17):
emotional.
And it's hard too because itused to be something you held, right?
Like you went to the mall as a kid.
I'm aging myself here.
You know, malls barely even exist.
And you had cash, right?
Like you had cash in yourpocket and that's what you had to
spend.
Like if you were going to buysomething at the food court or you
were going to buy a newsweater, that was the money you had
(10:39):
to spend.
Even now my kids, that's allon credit, right?
Like they don't carry cash.
I carry their cash for them inan account on my phone that tells
me how much money they have, right?
It's this Venmo Zell.
It's even harder now, I thinkto get people to understand, especially
when they're young becausethere's no transaction changing hands.
(10:59):
It's all in this likenetherworld, right?
So.
And I think for women it wasalready difficult to step up and
have these conversations andif, you know, most of the people
in your career are men, to askquestions and to feel empowered in
a room where, you know, thefinancial advisor is the smartest
person in the room and it's aman and you're there with your spouse,
(11:22):
you know, the amount of levelsof insecurity that bound up.
And then to have a woman sitdown and be like, no, you need to
be a part of thisconversation, that's very empowering
in itself.
(11:54):
Nobody really says no to me anymore.
I think it's because of myinternal belief and experiences that
they kind of get the vibe andthe energy that I'm not having it
any other way.
And yeah, I haven't really hadany pushback with that.
So for anyone that'slistening, if you are a financial
(12:16):
advisor and you're onlydealing with the bill payer or the,
you know, gentleman of thehouse, push, push back on that.
It's really important andespecially for men to recognize that
not just a woman advisor, men,advisors have to have to lean into
that because the majority ofour business are men, right?
(12:38):
If there's going to be amassive shift, men need to pivot
in that direction and theyneed to do it like pronto.
And it's surprising that itwasn't happening already because
women generally outlive men, right?
That transfer of wealth isgoing to.
Women at that point in time,women were taking over the accounts
(12:58):
anyway.
So you would think that youwould naturally want a relationship
with that person.
So it's just fascinating tothink that that wasn't happening.
Yeah, it's not happening.
It's really fascinating to me.
I meet people that are HarvardMBAs and you know, the wife has chosen
to stay home and the hardestjob in the world, which it truly
(13:23):
is.
And they don't even have theirown checking account.
They have no idea.
You know, some of them are notpaying the bills.
They just, they just don't know.
And it's just not okay anymore.
And I think we as women, asfinancial advisors need to lean into
that and make, and make amassive shift.
(13:44):
Because you're right, women dolive longer than men.
And they say that, you know,women, you know, wind up killing,
but that's, that's, that'sjust not true.
Yeah, you know, women areliving longer and there's an epidemic
that's going to be happeningin the generation of baby boomers,
(14:05):
which is the first in ourlifetimes, which are people that
are living too long.
Longevity has become anotherfinancial risk because people are
not planning enough forretirement funds to live this long
life.
They think, you know, lifeexpectancy is not as great, but people
(14:29):
can live well into their 90sand people run out of money.
It's really.
And then there's long termcare, right?
People are being fragile andit's fascinating to me because the
healthier you are in yourolder age, the more you, the more
(14:51):
not even a chance like youwill have a long term care need.
You know, there's the fourhorsemen, right?
There's cancer, heart disease,diabetes and cognitive impairment.
And I can't tell you how manytimes I hear the cognitive impairment,
cancer, heart disease, like Ican't, it's all, it's constant with
my clients and their parents.
(15:12):
And a lot of people are like,what do we do?
We're taking care of kids,we're taking care of our parents.
We're in the sandwich yearsand it is becoming an epidemic.
So much so that states areputting a tax on, on people if they
(15:36):
don't have a long term care policy.
Did you know that?
Really?
I did not know that.
What states?
I have not heard anythingabout this.
Washington state already did it.
Okay.
There are many states that areconsidering it.
And you will have a tax, along term care tax if you don't show
(15:57):
that you have a viable otheroption like a long term, like a standalone
long term care policy or alife insurance policy that is a long
term care rider.
But it's, it is fascinatingbecause that is so telling of where
our world is going Right.
You don't really.
You don't really think aboutthe lot, the age issue of living
(16:21):
that long.
Like, my great aunt is 99.
Yeah.
My grandma was in her 90s whenshe passed.
Like, you don't really.
You don't see it that often,so you don't really think about.
You know, our parents are intheir 70s and 80s.
They don't seem old, which, ifyou said those numbers when I was
in my 20, I'd be like, oh, myGod, you know, 55.
(16:42):
So old now.
You're like, no.
You know, working part of thecommunity, you know, doing all of
the things.
It was Eisenhower that createdthe Social Security act, and in 1945,
I believe it was.
And back then, you weren'texpected to last until 65.
(17:05):
They extended the age rightnow, but back then, Nobody lived
past 65.
And my dad technically retiredat 50.
Like, he did his 30 years.
You know, he's still working,but he did his 30 years and he retired.
And I always laughed about itbecause I was like, well, what happens
if, like, you're retiring at midlife?
(17:25):
What do you do for the.
Yeah, it's called a halftime report.
Yeah.
And he's like, well, I'm gonnastill work because, A, I need the
money, and, B, I'm bored.
But, yeah, not a lot of peopleretire and sell off into the sunset
anymore.
They decide to do somethingthat they're passionate about, you
know, a pet project, or theyjust pivot in a way that drives the
(17:46):
passion rather than the paycheck.
Well, and you also don't seepeople doing careers like that anymore.
I mean, how many people aregetting 30 years in at 50 years old?
But not very often.
Right.
You have what?
I think it's like, fivecareers is the new average in your
lifetime.
Is that right?
Five careers.
Something that was surprisingto me.
(18:07):
I was like, that's a high number.
But if you do it for 10 yearsand you pivot, working for 50 years
is not unheard of.
If you start at 16 and you'reliving to be 85.
Yeah.
I started working when I was,like, I don't know, 12.
Yeah.
I did a paper babysitting at 11.
(18:28):
Yeah.
I wanted money.
Yep.
I needed it.
I needed to pay for everythingthat I had.
So I don't know anything else,but, you know, working for my own
money.
And I think that that is alsovery important, that it's, you know,
that women understand what itfeels like to earn money.
It's empowering.
(18:50):
And I think that to fosterindependence, I think that that is
a very important thing to dois to have your own checking account,
your own savings, your owninvestment account, your own money.
I don't know, I've neverreally signed up for.
(19:11):
I just want to marry somebodythat has money that's just not that,
you know, some people do thatand that's okay, but it's not independent.
And if you want to beindependent, well, you got to put
your foot in the door there.
So something I seegenerationally I feel like and people
didn't really talk aboutmoney, so maybe this existed before.
Maybe you have a different answer.
(19:31):
But I feel like my parentsgeneration, it was joint checking
accounts.
You had a lot of stay at homemoms or part time working once kids
went to school.
So it was just joint checking.
The husband generally workedthe full time job and got the benefits.
You might have had a dualincome house, but you still had the,
the joint familial money.
But it's kind of like the, thequestion of the generation.
(19:55):
Like I do, I question my, myfriends just to see what they're
doing, you know, having ajoint checking, having the joint
finances or some people havecompletely separate finances and
then like pay into an accountto pay your bills, you know, your
mortgage and your car paymentand all that stuff.
And both people in thecouplehood pay in but they keep all
their money completely separate.
(20:15):
Is that something that you'reseeing more often in the younger
generations, the post baby boomers?
I am, I am seeing a lot of that.
I don't know what that shiftis about.
I just, maybe it's more andmore women are leaning into that.
(20:36):
When I grew up, exactly that.
You know, my parents didn'thave a lot of money.
They lived paycheck to paycheck.
We never really talked about money.
I saw them spend it onthemselves but.
And they didn't spend it on me.
I remember my father, healways had a boat and I had to go
(20:57):
to the Salvation army to buymy pants for class, you know.
So I have this very deepfeeling about well, if it's going
to be, it's up to me.
I couldn't rely on and backthen it hurt.
(21:20):
But now I'm kind of gratefulfor it because it taught me how to
be independent.
And if I wanted my own thingsand I wanted my own independence
and my own money, I had towork for it.
And I did.
And the work createsresiliency and grit and knowledge
(21:42):
and maturity and learning howto deal with relationships and people.
So there's a lot of real,there's a lot of really good stuff
that comes from that.
Having said that, though, youknow, there could be a household
where it's just impossible.
Like, you know, someone has tostay home.
Someone has to stay home.
(22:02):
And that job, it's really tough.
But I think that it'simportant for whoever's home with
the kids that theconversations that you're talking
about, right, your checkingaccount, the credit cards, the bills,
(22:24):
all these things, things.
Those conversations should bedone in front of children.
It shouldn't be so secretbecause how are the kids going to
learn how to talk to theirspouses about money?
You know, it's astonishing tome, people don't realize that children
mirror your behavior, and thenwhat happens is they mirror the behavior
(22:45):
in adulthood and you don'tbreak a chain.
And I think it's important tobreak a chain if it's not right for
your family.
You know what I mean?
I was gonna mention thatearlier when you were talking about
teaching your kids that it'sreally doing things in front of them.
Like, I learned a lot.
My dad being a truck driver,we had times where things were really
great.
And at the time he was gettingpaid really well compared to the
(23:08):
average, you know, male workerof his age.
And then there were times hewasn't working.
So you had zero money comingin and it was, okay, how are we gonna
navigate this?
And some of it was witnessingarguments, and some of it was watching,
you know, the bill pay happenand the shifting of money and the
taking on of debt and justwitnessing it.
Even though there wasn't maybea conversation happening, seeing
(23:31):
it made me less scared of itbecause we did always get through.
Yeah.
And I saw the outcome.
Right.
It's kind of like fighting infront of your kids is important because
they need to see the outcome of.
They fought, but they're happy.
Like, they got through it.
The making up also needs tohappen in front of them.
Right.
Like, you have to show what'sgoing on and how to live in this
(23:52):
crazy world.
Yeah, it's a little bit crazyright now, too.
And, you know, what you'redescribing is leading by example.
(24:17):
You have to lead by example.
Right.
For us, everything was hidden.
So.
And when I get into adulthoodand go, oh, like, I'm completely
this up, like, I don't knowwhere to turn to because I'm.
And my mom's like, oh, well,we have these problems.
I'm like, well, that wouldhave been nice to know.
Like, I'm holding all of this in.
(24:39):
I had no idea.
Like, this is this Is normal.
And I like, I take this intomy adulthood now.
Like I'm in menopause.
I just went to the doctor yesterday.
Sorry for the TMI guys, butlike all of these things I'm feeling
are normal.
I wish, I wish somebody wouldhave told me this.
Like, I have no idea.
But like, you gotta talk aboutthese things.
(24:59):
They're important to share.
And I did not know that all ofthe normal struggles you go through,
those ins and outs, there'stimes when things are good, there's
times when things are bad.
There's times where you haveto lean into credit a little bit.
There's times when money comesin and then what do you do with that
money?
I did not know and got myselfinto some really difficult times
(25:20):
with credit card debt.
And I didn't always.
I didn't know what to dobecause nobody really shared that
in the way I grew up.
And I wish I had that.
I have that now.
Now we talk about that.
My mother and I talk aboutthat stuff.
And I know a lot of that stuff.
I did not have that growing up.
And I wish I had.
Yeah, even if you don't haveit growing up, you can learn it in
(25:43):
adult life.
Which I think is really.
Which is exactly what happenedto me.
I mean, we never talked about money.
I saw them spending it all on themselves.
We were paycheck to paycheck.
I would assume we didn't live.
We lived modestly.
You know, I didn't have a lotof money growing up.
Always worked, but they never,they never sat me down and talked
(26:05):
about any of this ever.
I had to learn it inadulthood, which is a whole different
ball of wax.
Right.
I thank God that I am in thebusiness that I'm in because obviously
a lot of this is self taught.
A lot of it is taught from myhusband who is always so responsible
(26:27):
with his finances.
I mean, when my dad passed, mydad passed in 2019 and I was estranged
from my family because of the dysfunction.
And when I found out my dadwas dying of pancreatic cancer, I
(26:48):
just sort of put that to theside and I decided that I'm going
to be the daughter that heneeds me to be.
And they lived in Texas and Ilived here in Connecticut.
So my children were seniors atthe time.
So I was missing a lot oftheir senior year.
I was traveling back and forth.
He only survived three months.
But during those three months,I had to clean up the finances.
(27:10):
And oh my God, was I blown away.
He had 26 credit cards.
Oh my God, you can have 26credit cards.
It just kept.
Once you have debt, they justwant to give you more debt.
That's exactly right.
That's exactly.
He'd roll over his debt intoanother credit card, and he would
continue to do this.
Continued to continue.
It was really bad, and it was shocking.
(27:33):
It was really shocking.
And I had to deal with all of that.
I had to close out all theaccounts I had.
I mean, I had to just, like,cleaned it up.
But it.
It really resonated with mebecause it hit me bone deep how dysfunctional
that was and how it could happen.
And it could happen easilywith anyone who doesn't understand
(27:57):
and wasn't taught how tomanage money, how to handle it.
And that's what we talkedabout before.
Money is money, but it's whatit does to people that just takes
up a whole personality of its own.
So, yeah, I mean, I didn'thave these tools growing up, but.
(28:18):
But I was really, reallywanting to break the chain with my
own children.
And we started very earlytalking to them about allowances
and saving, spending,investing, giving it away.
And we would give them littleassignments to do.
Like, if a family wants to goon a family trip, I would say, here's
(28:43):
the budget.
Present to us three placesthat you think we should go.
Airfare, hotel activities, everything.
And guess what?
They did it.
And we on this vacation.
And I just showed up.
My husband and I just showed up.
They took care of everything.
(29:03):
Well, now they're, you know, adult.
They're adulting now.
And when.
And I.
I'm terrible at making travel plans.
I mean, if up to me, I'd windup in Timbuktu somewhere.
I was just terrible at it, andit's not my superpower.
And I said to my daughter, I'mlike, could you please handle this
for me?
She said, no problem.
I'll take care of it.
You know, if we're going on afamily vacation now, can you take
(29:25):
care of the reservations?
Absolutely.
We got it.
And I don't need to thinkabout it.
That's pretty cool.
And here's what's cool about that.
Because they learned how towork together.
They learned how to communicate.
They learned how to negotiate.
They learned how to schedule.
They.
They learned how to budget.
They learned all of this stuffwhen they were teens, and they saw
(29:48):
and they experienced what itfeels like, right?
You have to feel it.
You can't just say it withoutexperiencing it.
Experiences are totally different.
So they experienced what itwas like to have that budget to talk
it through, to figure outwhere we're going all these things.
Coordination, all of it.
(30:10):
And now, I mean, they talkabout building their credit.
They talk about what creditcard has this benefit and that benefit
and this.
It's astonishing to me, theconversations that they're having
now, only because that we gavethem these little, you know, activities
to do while they were growing up.
It became this.
This, you know, like, breathing.
(30:30):
It was just natural to talk about.
So I think it's important tostart early and often with all of
those things, you know, I love it.
Absolutely.
And that's so empowering, too.
I imagine that it was a muchless stressful vacation with the
kids being a part of it.
Right?
It was.
I mean, I just.
(30:51):
Like I said, I just showed up,and it was so fun.
And it was more fun becausethey earned that responsibility and
they understood it.
Yeah, they.
They really, bone deep,understood it.
(31:12):
So I love how empowering itis, not only that you're empowering
other women, but how you gotto the position you're in and how
you did break that chain andyou did see how you were brought
up and made the decision tolive life differently, which I think
a lot of people struggle with.
Right.
We.
(31:32):
We internalize a lot.
We think we're failing atthings because we don't know the
answers.
We don't want to ask the questions.
We're embarrassed.
You know, you end up in this,like, it just keeps piling on.
But you took the reins and youchanged it, and it's.
Here you are as a grown womangoing through your father's finances,
which stayed how they werewhen you were a child.
(31:54):
And you're on the a complete180, taking control, understanding,
knowing, empowering.
So I think this is a greattime to talk about your middle initial,
because you do use your middle initial.
And we talked about it beforewe were recording, and I think that
you should share it.
Okay.
Perfect timing.
Perfect timing, Kelly.
Thank you.
(32:14):
Yeah.
So the F is very important forme because, number one, it stands
for my maiden name, which isFalk F, A L, K.
And, you know, my maiden.
My.
My married name, Large.
You know, you really have toown that, right?
You really have to own that, Large.
(32:35):
So when I was putting togethermy one sheet and everything for the
podcast, I asked my assistant,I said, do you think I should leave
the F in for my name?
She's like, absolutely.
I said, why?
She.
Because you're Abby fucking Large.
That's why.
And that was it.
It stuck.
I was like, done.
So that part is really important.
(32:56):
It's perfect.
And when you told the storybefore, it was a great story.
But then hearing all of thistoday, it's even more empowering.
You are Abby fucking Large.
I have to remind myself ofthat every day.
And that's why it's importantto have that F, because, you know,
sometimes you get self doubtor you have imposter syndrome, or
(33:17):
you're like, where am I andwhat am I doing?
Do I belong here?
And the answer is, fuck yeah,I do.
I've worked for it.
We're going to make you someswag and send it to you.
Swag.
So I think that's everybody'schallenge today.
Use your look at your middleinitial and figure out what name,
how you're going to rebrandthat for yourself.
(33:39):
Yeah, kind of my brand now.
It's really funny.
Or we're all going to changeour middle name to something that
starts with an F.
Absolutely.
So, Abby, if somebody wantedto use your services, do you offer
services virtually or are youjust in Connecticut?
No, virtual for sure.
In fact, some people found methrough a podcast who lives in California
(34:01):
and she's a dear friend andclient now.
So, yeah, I have a lot ofpeople that are connecting with me.
I do a lot of remote work.
You know, thankfully, Covidallowed us, opened up the door to
that.
So, yeah, all over thecountry, licensed everywhere.
And if anybody wants to reachout to me, they can do so through
(34:22):
my LinkedIn or they can simplyemail me at alargenuxadvisors.com
that's 1 n, l, e n o x a d v I s.
And I'm sure you're going tohave it in your notes for the show.
Absolutely, yeah.
Awesome.
Well, thank you for joiningus, Abby.
Your story is fascinating.
I love what you're doing.
(34:43):
We all need you in our lives.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for your commitmentto including women and making sure
they are part of everyconversation that they need to be
in.
Oh, absolutely.
Spread the word.
We will, we will.
Awesome.
Thanks for having so much.
(35:03):
Thank you, Abby.
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