August 4, 2025 • 42 mins
Lets rewrite YOUR money story with Scarlett Stanhope, The Biz Hippie.
Ever feel like no matter how much money you make, it never feels like enough? Or maybe you’ve been chasing financial success, thinking it’ll fix everything—but deep down, you still feel stuck? You are not alone.
In this episode, we sit down with Scarlet Stanhope—aka The Biz Hippie— whose business is to coach entreprenuers and creatives through their money trauma by ditching scarcity thinking and building a better relationship with money.
Scarlet shares her own journey from burnout and perfectionism to healing her money mindset and helping others do the same.
We get real about:
- Why more money doesn’t always mean more happiness
- How our childhood beliefs can shape how we earn, spend, and save
- What it actually means to feel “abundant”—and how to get there
- Why financial empowerment starts with self-awareness, not spreadsheets
If you’re ready to stop stressing about money and start aligning your finances with your values, this conversation is for you.
Learn more about Scarlet and her work at thebizhippie.com/activate, and share this episode with someone that you think needs to hear this.
Mentioned in this episode:
Lunchador Podcast Network
Check out all of the shows on the Lunchador Network at lunchador.org!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(01:27):
Foreign.
Hello, and welcome back toanother episode of Getting Real with
Bossy with your host, KellyBush and Kelly Metras.
(01:50):
Today we are joined withScarlet Stanhope.
Scarlet the biz hippie.
Welcome to the show, Scarlett.
Oh, my gosh.
Thank you so much for having me.
I am super excited for thisconversation today.
Can you introduce yourself andtell us a little bit about yourself?
Yeah, absolutely.
So my name is Scarlett, AKAthe biz hippie, and I am a money
(02:14):
and abundance coach.
And what I do is I helpcoaches, healers, entrepreneurs,
transform their relationshipwith money from, from the inside
out so that you can feel incontrol of your money and use your
money to create the life thatyou want to live.
Because so often money is thething that really holds us back from
doing the things we want todo, pursuing our businesses, living
(02:37):
our most fulfilling, thriving,and abundant lives now.
And I truly believe that wecan live our best lives starting
today with the money that we have.
And so that's really themission that, that I bring forward
into my business is teachingpeople how to really harness the
power of their money and usetheir money as a tool to create their
best lives and go all in onthe work that they love.
(02:59):
I love that.
So how does one I know, right?
How many years in and I'mready to start.
How does one start?
What is your story that gotyou into this?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I previously was a, like,type a perfectionist, workaholic
(03:21):
type of person.
Like, growing up, I was theperfect straight A student.
And as a result, I was also an8 year old with migraine headaches
because I was really, like,determined to fit into this societal
box of success.
And anytime I did somethingwrong or felt like I was imperfect,
I took it really personally.
(03:41):
And, and so that bled all theway from my childhood to my young
adulthood when I first started working.
And I was very successful inmy work as well.
You know, I started managingrestaurants from the time I was 6
or no.
I started working inrestaurants at 16 and then managing
restaurants.
By the time I was 18, I wasworking like crazy hours in charge
of a large staff.
(04:01):
And at the same time, I wasgetting my bachelor's in business
management, accounting and finance.
I was saving 70% of everypaycheck I was making.
I was paying for college outof pocket.
I had no credit card debt, nostudent loans.
And by the time I was 21, Ihad like $30,000 in savings and I
was still maintaining my 3.9 GPA.
So on paper, I was very successful.
(04:24):
I was doing everything right.
I was Checking all the boxes.
And yet at the same time,inside I was miserable.
I was unfulfilled, and ifanything, I was actually depressed
and suicidal.
I felt like I was a zombie andin my own life.
And I was just waiting forlife to start.
I found myself in toxic workenvironments, in a relationship I
(04:44):
should not have been in, andjust like going with the flow of
life, surrendering and justwaiting and hoping that someday I
would cross some magicalthreshold or reach some finish line
that told me like, oh, now youcan start living for you.
Now you can start decidingwhat's important to you and living
that life.
And I was really just puttingmy own life on hold until I hit a
(05:07):
crazy rock bottom.
I had a very scary near deathexperience moment that really woke
me up.
And I realized, like, I amactually already living my life right
now.
I don't know what I've beenwaiting for, but it's up to me to
really take back the controlof my life because I am the one that
has got me to this place.
And it's up to me to decidethe kind of life that I want to live.
(05:29):
And that's really when Istarted to shift away from, from
the life I had been living previously.
I really started my personalgrowth journey and discovering who
am I, what do I want, what'simportant to me, what does my best
life look like?
Not just these arbitraryversions of success and chasing lots
of money for no reason.
And that's when I developed myown personal growth in so many ways.
(05:53):
And then a couple years laterbegan my business, which I'm so passionate
about.
So I started my coaching practice.
I also dove all in on sayingyes to any opportunity that lit me
up.
So I got my yoga teachertraining, I started traveling and
attending retreats all overthe country.
I got other certifications andskill sets and I just went all in
on really living a life that Ilove now, today.
(06:18):
And I realized that that was possible.
And so that was then.
The expertise and experiencethat I started to bring forward into
my coaching and into mybusiness is teaching, teaching other
people how to create livesthat they love today.
And instead of money being thething holding you back and keeping
you stuck, having money be thething that actually helps you create
(06:38):
that life.
Now I think so many peoplelistening can understand what you
just said and that story.
I think we've all felt thatway and I think some of us still
feel that way today, no matterour age and what where we are in
life.
But I think that we talk a lotabout this, that societal Expectation.
(07:01):
Can you guys hear thebackground noise?
It just got really loudoutside my door.
That societal expectation, right?
So the books we read, theshows we see, the magazines we read,
like, it's everywhere of thesethings you're supposed to achieve
in life and these.
The person you're supposed to be.
And that's from when you're alittle kid, and that's men and women,
right?
Like, everybody's telling youwhat you're supposed to be, and then
(07:22):
you think that someday yourlife is going to look different or
look like this thing thatyou've created in your head.
And even as a business owner,right, like, we get.
When does.
When does it start?
Like, when do.
When does it happen?
That magic moment whereeverything's going to look how it's
supposed to look.
And now the people are goingto know I'm a business owner and
they're going to.
I get to reap in the benefitsof business ownership.
(07:42):
Well, it doesn't just happenand looks different for every person.
It's never going to fit thatbox that we're told it's gonna fit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And one common conversationthat I have and that I honestly believe
is a huge misconception isthis idea that once I get more money,
then things will be better.
(08:03):
Like, these problems that Ihave, these challenges, like, the
way I feel my life is gonnachange, then I'll have more time,
then I can stop hustling, thenI can start doing the things that
I love and that are importantto me.
And the reality is that's justnot true.
Like, I've worked with clientswho have very little money.
They're just living paycheckto paycheck, barely scraping by.
(08:23):
And they feel the same wayabout money that other people do
who actually are making reallygood, consistent income.
They can still feel stressedabout money.
They can still feel likethey're barely scraping by.
They can still feel likethey're living paycheck to paycheck,
and they're just on thistreadmill that they can't get off
of because it's not about theamount of money that you have.
It's about.
It's about your relationshipto that money.
(08:45):
And your relationship withmoney doesn't change as you add more
money to it.
If anything, you're justexpanding and creating more of the
current situation.
In fact, I was just talkingwith a millionaire business owner
yesterday who was saying, wow,I was chasing more and more profit,
and I thought that someday Iwould arrive, but I never did.
(09:06):
And by the time I got to that Million.
Instead of being happy andfeeling like I could take my foot
off the gas, I felt like I waslocked in and I just had to keep
going and I had to keephustling and I had to keep burning
out.
And now these people wererelying on me and I was dependent
on this income.
And she was like curled up inher bed in a fetal position, crying.
And it's like.
Because those challenges don'tgo away with more money, you have
(09:29):
to address the challenges thatyou're facing now, today, with the
money you already have, andstart living the life you really
want to live today, now withthe money that you already have.
It's so important because ifyour relationship with money doesn't
change, it's never going to be enough.
There will never be enough money.
And that goes back to whatKelly was saying too, because the
(09:52):
way we were raised, it's justour relationship with money is so
skewed and so backwards.
We have to almost retrain andreframe the way we think about things.
Yes, 100%.
And I think that there aresome core misconceptions across the
board that we just all seem tohave inherited or experienced in
(10:15):
our modern day society.
And I like to refer to theseas the three scarcity seeds, which
are the three most commonscarce based beliefs that so many
of us just take as normal.
We're like, ah, this is justthe way it is and this is just truth,
but it's not inherently true.
And the first one is worthiness.
Like, I'm not worthy ordeserving, I'm not good enough, right?
(10:38):
Or I need to do better or domore or be better in order to be
worthy and deserving, weattach our worth to external circumstances.
So that's the first one.
The second one is not enoughness.
This idea that there's notenough to go around.
This is around competition,that life is a pie and there's only
so many slices to be had andif I take too big a slice, then that
(11:00):
means someone else isn'tgetting any.
So then I'm a bad personbecause there's not enough to go
around.
There's not enough for me.
And then the third one is whatI call starving artist syndrome,
which is the idea that theoption is either or.
Either you can do work thatyou love, that's really fulfilling,
but you're gonna be broke inthe process, you cannot make money
doing that.
(11:21):
Or you can make lots of moneyand be financially supported and
be very responsible, butyou're, you're gonna hate your job.
It's gonna suck, you're notgonna love it, and there's no way
that you can have both.
And all three of these beliefsare common.
We take them as inherentlytrue, and they keep us stuck in this
perspective and this life ofscarcity, hustle, burnout, and living
(11:44):
unfulfilling lives now becausewe think we have to.
But all of these beliefs arejust that.
They're ideas and they're notbased on reality.
Well, I think there's theworthiness, too kind of sticks out.
And I think that there's moreto that, even, like, having to prove
it.
So I'm not worthy of thisposition and this.
This income or this revenue orthis profit, but I have it.
(12:06):
So I have to work harder toprove that it's okay that I have
it, or I have to show peopleI'm worthy of having it by hustling
and working harder andconstantly be doing things.
I remember I've mentioned thisbefore in other episodes when my
therapist asked me why I hadto work so much.
And I was like, we're nottalking about, like, that's next
year's problem.
Halt.
(12:27):
Change the subject.
You know, but there's a lot to it.
And, you know, she made metalk about it and think about it.
A lot of.
And that's where it reallystems from is that.
That worthiness and that.
That having to prove yourself.
You have to prove that you're worthy.
You have to prove that it'sokay that you have it or that you're
doing your worth.
And that's why you get it.
You're part of the pie.
(12:47):
Right.
If there's not enough to goaround, I have to prove why I have
the money that I have, why Ihave the things that I have.
So, yeah, that sticks.
Yeah.
And I think that it's justingrained societally from childhood,
which we've already started totouch on and talk about.
And when you're a child, it'snot really around money, but it is
(13:08):
around love and affection andattention from.
From your parents.
And just think about growingup when you first start going even
before you go to school, andyou're like, oh, when I'm quiet,
when I'm a good girl, then Iget praise, then I get attention.
And then you go to school whenI check these boxes, when I do a
good job, then I get a goodgrade, then I get praise and attention.
(13:31):
It's really conditioned tobelieve that when you act a certain
way, when you show up acertain way, when you behave in alignment
with, you know, what Yourparents want what your teachers want,
then you're worthy anddeserving versus the inherent truth
of, like, you are worthy anddeserving just through your existence
alone and allowing that totruly be enough.
(13:55):
You are enough.
So how do you think thatpeople can get around, like, that
discomfort and that fear ofthose scarcity seeds and that even
just talking about money initself, Right?
So, like, not necessarilygetting past their issues with money,
(14:15):
but even the first couple ofsteps of being able to talk about
it or to not be terrified of it.
Yeah, I think really the firststep comes around awareness.
We have to first recognizewhat our current relationship with
money is, and even that wehave a relationship with money.
And because so often we justtake this as inherently true.
(14:35):
Especially because we're likeswimming in a world where so many
people believe these things.
It's kind of like we're fishin water and we don't realize that
we're in water because it'sjust the reality that we live in
same, like, we're breathingair all the time, but we might forget
about the air, or there was apoint in time where we didn't know
the air was there, and yet italways was.
And so starting to bringawareness to one, the fact that you
(14:58):
actually have a relationshipwith money, and then starting to
pull apart when you what isyour actual relationship with money?
And is it one rooted in thesedifferent versions and forms of scarcity?
And then starting to pinpoint,like, where does this come from?
Where did I learn thesebeliefs that I just accepted as true
(15:18):
of me not being good enough,me not being worthy and deserving,
needing to work harder,needing to make more, needing to
hustle, needing to push,believing that if I really love what
I do and.
And I really enjoy mybusiness, then there's no way it
can be profitable.
Because it's wrong for me toaccept that money.
And just starting torecognize, like, what are the core
beliefs under your currentrelationship with money?
(15:41):
And how is that impacting youin your life, in how you take steps
in your life, how you chooseto spend your money, the kind of
effort you output, how youbehave, what you think about yourself,
what you feel about yourself,and how it's impacting your business.
Because your relationship withmoney shows up in your business in
huge ways.
(16:02):
It can totally hold you backfrom achieving the success that you
really desire.
Or really, the reason why somany people go into business is to
feel that freedom.
But you can easily feel stuckand not have that freedom.
So the very first step isawareness around everything that
we're Talking about.
Definitely shows up in business.
(16:24):
You know, entrepreneurs andsmall business, it's all intertwined.
We talk about that all the time.
You know, your personalfinances and your business finances
are so intertwined thathowever you treat your money at home
is how you're going to treatyour money at work.
And I.
You brought up a good point ofyour choice, right?
You get to choose how youspend your money.
You get to choose what yousave for, like your value systems,
what's important to you, andthose things are going to show up
(16:45):
in your work too.
So that's a good point.
Yeah.
And I think that is really thesecond step.
Like the first step isbringing awareness to your relationship
with money and starting toshift your mindset and your belief
system around your money andlike really re patterning these core
beliefs.
But then the next step, andanother way that this supports this
(17:06):
process is learning to seeyour money clearly and track and
manage your personal financesand your business finances.
And that actually can reallyenhance the mindset and in a lot
of ways, because I find peoplewho are stressed about money or it
feels like no matter how hardyou work or what you do, it never
feels like enough.
Even when you do make moremoney, it still feels like you're
(17:28):
just money in, money out,living paycheck to paycheck.
The number one reason why youfeel stressed about money is because
you don't know what'shappening with your money.
And what you're afraid of isactually the unknown around your
money.
Because you can have a goodamount of money but still have that
fear under the surface of, oh,but it's going to go away or it's
going to get spent or what'sgoing to happen to it.
(17:48):
And it feels like money is outof your control.
And that's the part that is scary.
But when you get your moneydown on paper, what happens is suddenly
you are in control of it.
You can see clearly what is happening.
And because you can see what'shappening, then you can do something
about it.
You can't do something aboutsomething that you can't see.
(18:09):
You can't see the actual problem.
You can't see the actual situation.
So I found that 70% of yourmoney stress goes away once you get
your money down on paper, onceyou can face reality, even if your
money situation hasn't changedat all, and even if you are genuinely
living paycheck to paycheckand barely scraping by because now
(18:31):
suddenly the control is inyour hands and that tangible piece
of money ties into the mindsetand the money mindset ties into how
you manage your money and howyou feel about the choices that you
make with your money.
It's gotta be so therapeuticfor what you do for people.
I think it's interesting.
(18:52):
I mean, I totally agree withwhat you're saying.
And I think for me personally,I have a horrible relationship with
money.
Just kind of for how I wasraised and things that were brought
up.
And once I really had a betterunderstanding, I think one of the
best things for me getting ahandle on how I dealt with money
was getting hacked and like,everything, like, I had to change
(19:16):
everything.
I was like, oh, there was somuch money going out that I had no
idea about.
And like, I had to start fresh.
I'm like, oh, now I havecontrol of where things are going.
And it was a wonderful, like,start over moment.
But like, for what you'redoing, it has to be so therapeutic
for people.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And I love that form oftherapy, what you're doing.
Yeah.
(19:37):
And I love that example too,because that's so common that, you
know, a lot of the people Italk to have fear and resistance.
When I say manage and trackyour money.
Right.
It feels like budgeting.
I don't want to be limited, Idon't want to be restricted.
But it comes back to exactlywhat you just said, which is putting
the control back in your hands.
And if you can't see what'shappening with your money, then you're
(19:59):
making passive decisions withyour money.
You're just on subconscious autopilot.
And when that happens, moneyis just slipping through the cracks
and it feels like you're notin control of it.
And versus being able to seeclearly what is actually happening
and make those consciousdecisions, intentional decisions
that are really in alignmentwith the kind of life that you want
(20:20):
to live.
And once you do this, yes, itis therapeutic because your relationship
with money is just areflection of your relationship with
yourself.
When you heal yourrelationship with money, you're doing
some of the deepest forms ofpersonal growth because it ties into
survival, safety, worthiness.
Your whole identity of beingworthy and deserving, like, that's
(20:43):
really deep shit is like allbuilt into your relationship with
money.
So that's the first piece thatis uncomfortable and challenging.
But then beyond that, onceyou've done that foundational work,
you have shifted your mindsetand you can see your money clearly
and you can manage it andtrack it and you're in control of
it.
That's when your money becomesa powerful tool for manifestation.
(21:06):
Because your money is how youmake choices about your life.
It's how you make decisionsand it's how you create the life
that you are currently livingright now.
You're just doing it passivelyand unconsciously.
But when you get conscious andintentional with your money and you
spend your money in alignmentwith the life you want to live in
alignment with your values, inalignment with your priorities, in
alignment with your vision,that's how you make that life true.
(21:29):
That's how you bring thatvision into reality.
It's so easy these days.
Everything's electronic.
It's auto pays, it's tap andpays, it's swipes, right?
It's push a button.
It's the money doesn't change hands.
So writing it down.
You know, I remember the firsttime I actually for a financial advisor
had to like make a chart of mypersonal finances.
(21:52):
So like business is easy.
I have everything in theQuickBooks I have.
If QuickBooks wants to sponsorus, they can have everything itemized
and I can see where things arespent and I can track and I, you
know, look through my creditcard statement every month and make
sure it lines up.
And on the personal side,you're just like, I don't have time
for that.
Like, I don't have a, I don'thave a budgeting software or like
a bill pay software.
(22:12):
Like I'm just paying and going.
And just seeing where we werespending our money was, was very
surprising even know and thecost goes up.
I know that our patternshaven't changed much.
I pretty much pay for the samethings every month.
We go out to eat the sameamount of times, you know, but my
credit card bill has doubledin the past five years from where
(22:34):
it was before.
And being like, oh crap, wheredo I cut?
Right?
What can I cut?
Because it feels like youcan't cut anything.
It feels like you don't have achoice, that you're just surviving.
But when you actually itemizewhere that money is getting spent
and that's for both sides, right?
You itemize and you look.
And we've talked about that alot of like using your software programs
to look at where you'respending your money at work and you
(22:57):
can do it at home too.
And is this necessary?
Is this something I want?
Are my, you know, we justtalked about in our last episode.
Are my, you know, auto renewsjumping in price without telling
me, are my contracts up to date?
You know, what am I spendingon product?
What am I spending on payroll?
Where can I fix things so thatyou can have the money to be intentional.
(23:19):
Because when you are in thatsurvival mode and that tap and go,
just, they'll pay for it eventually.
Like, it's like grown on treesor something.
It's scary to think, oh, I'mgoing to sit down and actually take
the time to look at everydollar spent.
I don't know that any of usreally want to know.
I mean, we want to know, butdo we really want to know where every
(23:40):
dollar spent?
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
I think, like, this is so.
This is such a common thoughtprocess of, like, oh, it takes so
much time, and I don't reallywant to know.
I just want to be free.
Like, I really don't want tohave to think about it.
In fact, my goal is to make somuch money that I don't have to think
about it.
I can just say yes to whateverI want because I don't want to see.
(24:01):
But I have such a differentperspective on it and such a different
relationship.
And my clients, too, they tellme all the time, like, they get to
a point where tracking theirmoney and managing their money actually
becomes fun.
Because, again, it's youreally being in control of your life.
Right?
Like, that's what it is.
And I believe if you trulytrusted yourself, if you truly trusted
(24:26):
yourself with your money, ifyou trusted yourself with the decisions
that you're making for yourlife, then you would have no fear
or no resistance of looking atwhat, where you spend your money.
Because where you spend yourmoney is just how you're manifesting
this life you're currently living.
And so for me, it's actuallyreally fun to look back and say,
(24:46):
oh, what am I choosing?
What am I prioritizing?
What am I manifesting?
How did I create this lifethat I'm living today?
By looking back at what Ispent the past month and then moving
forward, what's important tome, what goals do I want to achieve?
What do I want to work towards?
And how do I really want toput effort and attention and intention
(25:06):
into creating those goals?
And so it's like a reflectivetool to see how you're creating what
you're creating.
And it's a tool formanifesting and creating the life
you want to live, moving forward.
And sometimes there can bediscomfort around that.
If you're like, I don't havemillions of dollars.
I can't just spend oneverything that I want.
And I feel like I have tosacrifice and choose between things
(25:29):
that are important to me.
And.
But I also believe that thatbrings value into your money.
For example, like, if you onlyhad 24 hours to live, and you knew
that you would spend each ofthose 24 hours very consciously,
very intentionally, you wouldonly do the things that are really
(25:49):
most important to you, andthat would make those 24 hours highly
valuable.
24 hours versus when you'relike, I got 50 years to live, and
you spend, like, a lot of itwatching Netflix and doing things
that really isn't important to you.
When you imagine that you havean overabundance, that's when you
start wasting and devaluingwhat you have.
(26:11):
So it's the same with your money.
If you only have a hundreddollars to spend, this is really
a huge opportunity to decidewhat is most important to you.
What do you truly value?
What do you truly prioritize?
And if anything, those hundreddollars are more valuable than if
you had a million dollars to spend.
(26:32):
And so it goes so much further.
It's so much more potent.
And I believe the nextquestion to consider is, are you
spending your money inalignment with your vision?
Like, in your vision, you havecertain things that are important
to you, certain things thatyou do prioritize, and are you actively
prioritizing those thingsright now with the money that you
(26:54):
have, even if it is just $100?
So what I'm hearing is that weare worthy of controlling our money.
Yes, exactly.
It's like it's such anopportunity to get to be the one
in control of your money.
And I think as well, too, it'snot only are you worthy of it, the
(27:16):
reality is you actually arealready in control of your money
when, whether you're ignoringit or not.
Like, you're the one or not.
Right?
Right.
You're the one doing it.
You're the one doing it.
And it's just up to you tomake it a conscious process instead
of an unconscious process.
Yeah.
That's terrifying.
(27:40):
Is it terrifying or is it,like, empowering to recognize?
Empowering, exactly.
Empowering.
Usually the terrifying thingsare the things that make us feel
empowered once we accomplish them.
Yes, the accomplishing the terrifying.
Harness that terrifying feeling.
Harness it.
(28:00):
And it's because, like, yourmoney is really the foundation that
underpins so many things too.
And that's why it can be soscary and uncomfortable and intimidating,
is because really, when you dothis work, it changes every area
of your life.
It bleeds into every area ofyour life.
It can lead to the businesssuccess, it can lead to the life
(28:21):
success.
And really, it's just beingfaced with, oh, wow, I have all the
power in the world and controlover my life.
And I can manifest and createwhatever I want and just really step
into my vision.
And I believe that there aresubconscious parts of us that are
actually really intimidated by that.
There are parts of us thatdon't wanna be successful.
We don't really wanna achieveour goals.
We don't really wanna stepinto our vision.
(28:42):
And so that's really, reallywhat the work is, is are you ready
to take control over what you,you already have control over?
Because it's terrifying.
Let's talk about the otherside of that, and this is something
we haven't really touched onin this series yet, is when you're
not doing those things right,when you're not addressing that you're
(29:06):
in control, when you aren'ttaking those, you know, value aligned
steps and those, thosemanifestation steps and art in alignment.
The, the effect on yourphysical health.
I know personally inrelationship health too.
You know, my husband and Iwent through an awful year last year.
Our finances, they're notgreat still because of last year,
(29:27):
but we have taken more controlover it.
We have ups and downs now, butlast year was awful.
Like physically stress,emotionally, you know, weight gain,
health, fibromyalgia, like,you name it.
And I think that's somethingwe don't address is how that affects
us internally.
(29:48):
Yeah, yeah.
I think your relationship withmoney plays a huge role in your physical
health, just like it plays ahuge role in your business health,
your relationships.
Like it really does bleed intoevery single area of life.
And it's because of everythingthat we project onto our relationship
with money.
And really our money is ourfoundational form of survival.
(30:12):
That's really what it comesdown to is we depend on our money
in order to survive.
And so if you're feelingstressed about money, whether it's
like a very prominent presentstress or whether it's a low grade
stress just in the background,it can put you in this chronic state
of fight or flight.
(30:32):
And being in this chronicstate of fight or flight impacts
your health in a really big way.
Because if your sympatheticnervous system is activated, you're
unable to rest, restore, digest.
Like your body literally can'teven digest food at the level that
it's supposed to.
So you're not even able totake in and receive the nutrients
(30:54):
that you're giving to your body.
You're unable to rest and restore.
And being in a constant stateof fight or flight is what causes
your body to break down, yourimmune system to be suppressed, and
for you to start to have majorhealth issues.
And so that's really thefoundation is if you're chronically
stressed about money, you'rein a fight or flight state.
And that can impact yourhealth in so many ways.
(31:17):
But that's also just one version.
The other version of this isif you're stressed about money, the
things around your health arethe first thing to go.
They are the things that weeasily cut out.
Like we're so unlikely to havea gym membership.
We tell ourselves like, ofcourse I can't afford organic local
produce.
Like, no way.
(31:38):
The only thing I can afford is McDonald's.
Right.
So we start sacrificing ourself care for convenience and for
these things that we believewe can afford.
And so that's another way iswe, when we're stressed about money
and when we're not intentionalwith our money, we are no longer
prioritizing our self care andour needs to prioritize ourself,
(32:00):
which just contributes to thisdownward spiral.
And if your health isn'tthere, that's actually gonna just
contribute even more to themoney stress.
Because often the chances areif you're in this situation, you're
also in hustle and grind modeand needing more money and not having
enough.
And so if your health isdeclining and then you're not able
to work as much and thenyou're not making as much money and
(32:21):
it's really just a harshdownward spiral.
And this is what can lead to burnout.
Yeah.
I think it's also not just Ican't afford this membership.
Because you don't always needa membership.
Right.
Or I can't afford these groceries.
I don't have time to gogrocery shopping.
So I'm going to run throughthe fast food.
I don't have time to go to thegym or go take a walk or be in nature
(32:43):
or do the things that I know Ineed to do because I need to be hustling,
I need to be making more money.
Right.
Like I need to figure this out.
So when and you're in thatfight or flight with money, you're
giving up the time and theenergy in addition to the cost.
Yes, exactly.
Or you just don't have it in you.
I'm like, I'd rather lay onthe couch.
I actually have a half an hour.
(33:03):
I'm going to go lay in thefetal position instead of taking
a walk.
Yeah, exactly.
Because time, energy and moneyare all connected and interwoven.
Those are really the threecreators or the three actions and
that we can take in our life.
Like anytime you spend time,energy or Money on anything.
You're creating something,you're manifesting something.
So your relationship withmoney is very much likely reflected
(33:28):
in your relationship with timeand energy.
And if one of those things isoff, that's going to bleed into the
other ones, right?
If you are feeling stressedabout money, it's going to impact
your time, it's going toinflate the amount of time and effort
you need to put into thingsversus if you have issues with time,
that's gonna impact your money.
So all three of those thingsare connected.
(33:50):
And so really, thesefoundational money stressors that
we're talking about can bleedinto and impact every single area
of your life and especiallyyour business.
So let's circle to strategiesfor helping us small business owners
when we're in those fight orflight moments or those, you know,
(34:14):
struggles with money.
What are some suggestions you have?
Yeah, and I think this isreally important because we didn't
even touch on this, but justhow, if you're in scarcity, that's
going to impact your businessin many ways, right?
Like if you're in a need andget energy and you're bringing that
into your sales calls and yourmarketing, like people can feel that
(34:36):
no one wants to spend money onsomebody who's like really desperate
and is like, please buy mything, I really need to pay my bills
this month.
So it impacts your businessthrough how people perceive your
energy.
It impacts the way you show upto your business.
If you're super stressed andyou just zone out and block out and
you're not able to put in theenergy and effort into your business,
(34:58):
right?
It really shows up in yourbusiness in so many ways.
And so starting to shift yourrelationship with money is the foundation
to growing a really successful business.
Like a successful businessthat's also able to support you financially,
not just making tons of moneyin your business, but then having
to hustle and burn out tomaintain it and then still feeling
(35:21):
the same way that you feel now.
So the solutions, the steps tothis are, One is to uncover your
seeds of scarcity is like wetalked about at the beginning, recognize
what's your currentrelationship with money, what scarcity
seeds are impacting you?
What beliefs have you beenoperating from?
What has been your default?
What has been your autopilotand why?
(35:43):
Where did you learn thesethings and how is that showing up
in your day to day with allthe decisions that you make in your
life, especially the decisionsaround money.
And that awareness is reallypowerful because once you can see
clearly what's happening,that's when you can start to change
it.
The next step is financialawareness, right?
So we've gotten that internalawareness of what's going on inside,
(36:04):
but then we need to seeclearly what's actually happening
with the money.
And that's a powerfulreflection of what you're choosing,
what you're prioritizing.
And it's actually going to bea reflection of your internal patterning
and belief system.
And so seeing clearly what isactually happening.
And then from there, that'swhen we can shift these things.
And the next step that Irecommend to my clients is let's
(36:27):
get really clear on the lifeyou actually want to live.
What is your vision, what ismost important to you?
And from there, how can wealign your money and your thoughts
and feelings around money withthat life, with that vision?
And just a simple example ofthis, right?
Because I'm not saying just belike, well, in my vision, I can just
(36:49):
spend millions of dollars on apurse when I want it, so I'm just
gonna start doing that now andthrow it a credit card.
Like, that's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is how can youmake sure you're prioritizing what
you prioritize in your vision,not based on the amount of money,
but based on the thing itself.
So one example is in myvision, when I have lots of money,
(37:11):
when I'm super abundant, I ama philanthropist.
I donate to causes that areimportant to me.
I know that's a part of my vision.
And so for the whole entirelifetime of my business, even when
I was making no money, I wasin the red.
I was like working other jobsto pay for my business.
I always donated to causesthat I cared about because that was
(37:32):
a representation of me beingsuccessful and abundant.
And it wasn't like I donatedhundreds of dollars, it was just
like a couple dollars every month.
But that intention of I mustbe successful because I donate to
causes that I care about andthen continuing to live that life,
continuing to align yourmoney, your thoughts, your feelings
(37:54):
with your vision, and thenthat's how you bring that vision
into reality.
That's when you open up thedoor to abundance.
And so then when more moneydoes start to flow in, you already
have the foundations of beingintentional, being aligned with your
money.
So then you can do more, youcan donate more money in the future
and it might not be donatingfor you, right?
(38:14):
Like another example is Istarted painting my own nails because
I said, yes, as a six figurebusiness owner, I go to the nail
salon and I Get my nails done.
So as a six figure businessowner, I must have painted nails.
And so that's me againcreating that.
Now with my money, I might notbe spending the whatever it costs
to get your nails done at thesalon, but I did spend the $8 on
(38:37):
the bottle of nail polish anddedicate the time to painting my
own nails.
Right.
So those are really the stepsis bring awareness to your money,
your thoughts and yourpatterning around money.
Get clear on the vision of thelife you really want to live if money
wasn't an issue.
And align your money and yourthoughts around money with that life
now.
(38:58):
Brilliant.
I think it actually I have athing behind me that I think lines
up with.
And it's not the Sharknadoposter though.
We could talk about that later.
Are you sure?
Hey, the thing next to theSharknado poster says next time you're
afraid to share ideas.
Remember someone once said ina meeting, let's make a film with
(39:20):
a tornado full of sharks.
So whatever it is that youthink that you can't do, right?
So that's why that's on thewall is no matter what you think
you can't do, someone walkedinto a very high powered exec meeting
and said, let's make a filmwith a tornado full of sharks.
And they've made like eight ofthem to add that on.
But the one I was going tomention is I have this little sign
(39:42):
and it's Henry Ford.
If you think you can, you can.
And if you think you can't,you are right.
And I think that knowing yourmoney gives you the power to think
you can.
Because if you don't know yourmoney, you're never going to think
you can.
And if you don't think youcan, you never will.
Yes, yes, I love that.
(40:04):
And that's really again, goingback to what happens when you can
see your money clearly and youcan feel safe and regulated and solid
in that.
When you detach your selfworth from that money and you can
feel solid in yourself nomatter what the numbers say.
Then from there your wholeentire life just becomes, how can
(40:26):
I make this happen?
Instead of like having thecontrol in money's hands and waiting
for money to someday say, yes,you can do these things, you're putting
the control back in your handsand you're saying, okay, well if
I want to take a trip toThailand, how can I do that?
How can I plan for that?
How can I make that happen?
How can I craft the steps tobring that into reality?
(40:47):
If I want to go Full time inmy business.
How can I plan for that?
How can I make that happen?
And maybe it might take longerthan I expect to implement, but I
know I'm working towards itinstead of just like, well, someday,
hopefully money's gonna decidethat I can do these things, but the
controls in money's hands,it's totally different.
(41:08):
Yes, you are money.
Exactly.
I am loving this conversation.
I feel like we could talk forever.
I think every listenerunderstands how their relationship
with money affects not onlytheir daily life, their business,
but also their personalhealth, whether we want to admit
it or not.
So thank you so much forchatting with us today.
(41:30):
And if people want to reachout and talk with you more, consult
with you or possibly hire you,how would they reach you?
Yeah, absolutely.
So I love to offer when I'm onpodcast shows, a special gift, which
is a free 30 minute abundanceactivation session with me.
And during these sessions weexplore where are you currently at
(41:51):
with your relationship withmoney, what scarcity seeds might
be impacting you?
And I help you to bringawareness to your current relationship
with money and what could bekeeping you stuck.
We also get clarity aroundwhat is your vision?
What does that life look like?
And I give you some clearsteps for how to bring that vision
into reality.
And then if you want toexplore working together from there,
we can also make time to havethat conversation as well.
(42:14):
And you can book that callwith me on my website, thebizhippie.com
activate.
I love that.
And I love the biz hippie.
It's such a fun name.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Well, thank you for being onthe show, Scarlett.
We hope to see you soon.
Thank you so much for having me.
I love this conversation todayand I'm so grateful for your show.
(42:35):
Awesome.
Foreign.
Hello, and welcome back toanother episode of Getting Real with
Bossy with your host, KellyBush and Kelly Metras.
(01:50):
Today we are joined withScarlet Stanhope.
Scarlet the biz hippie.
Welcome to the show, Scarlett.
Oh, my gosh.
Thank you so much for having me.
I am super excited for thisconversation today.
Can you introduce yourself andtell us a little bit about yourself?
Yeah, absolutely.
So my name is Scarlett, AKAthe biz hippie, and I am a money
(02:14):
and abundance coach.
And what I do is I helpcoaches, healers, entrepreneurs,
transform their relationshipwith money from, from the inside
out so that you can feel incontrol of your money and use your
money to create the life thatyou want to live.
Because so often money is thething that really holds us back from
doing the things we want todo, pursuing our businesses, living
(02:37):
our most fulfilling, thriving,and abundant lives now.
And I truly believe that wecan live our best lives starting
today with the money that we have.
And so that's really themission that, that I bring forward
into my business is teachingpeople how to really harness the
power of their money and usetheir money as a tool to create their
best lives and go all in onthe work that they love.
(02:59):
I love that.
So how does one I know, right?
How many years in and I'mready to start.
How does one start?
What is your story that gotyou into this?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I previously was a, like,type a perfectionist, workaholic
(03:21):
type of person.
Like, growing up, I was theperfect straight A student.
And as a result, I was also an8 year old with migraine headaches
because I was really, like,determined to fit into this societal
box of success.
And anytime I did somethingwrong or felt like I was imperfect,
I took it really personally.
(03:41):
And, and so that bled all theway from my childhood to my young
adulthood when I first started working.
And I was very successful inmy work as well.
You know, I started managingrestaurants from the time I was 6
or no.
I started working inrestaurants at 16 and then managing
restaurants.
By the time I was 18, I wasworking like crazy hours in charge
of a large staff.
(04:01):
And at the same time, I wasgetting my bachelor's in business
management, accounting and finance.
I was saving 70% of everypaycheck I was making.
I was paying for college outof pocket.
I had no credit card debt, nostudent loans.
And by the time I was 21, Ihad like $30,000 in savings and I
was still maintaining my 3.9 GPA.
So on paper, I was very successful.
(04:24):
I was doing everything right.
I was Checking all the boxes.
And yet at the same time,inside I was miserable.
I was unfulfilled, and ifanything, I was actually depressed
and suicidal.
I felt like I was a zombie andin my own life.
And I was just waiting forlife to start.
I found myself in toxic workenvironments, in a relationship I
(04:44):
should not have been in, andjust like going with the flow of
life, surrendering and justwaiting and hoping that someday I
would cross some magicalthreshold or reach some finish line
that told me like, oh, now youcan start living for you.
Now you can start decidingwhat's important to you and living
that life.
And I was really just puttingmy own life on hold until I hit a
(05:07):
crazy rock bottom.
I had a very scary near deathexperience moment that really woke
me up.
And I realized, like, I amactually already living my life right
now.
I don't know what I've beenwaiting for, but it's up to me to
really take back the controlof my life because I am the one that
has got me to this place.
And it's up to me to decidethe kind of life that I want to live.
(05:29):
And that's really when Istarted to shift away from, from
the life I had been living previously.
I really started my personalgrowth journey and discovering who
am I, what do I want, what'simportant to me, what does my best
life look like?
Not just these arbitraryversions of success and chasing lots
of money for no reason.
And that's when I developed myown personal growth in so many ways.
(05:53):
And then a couple years laterbegan my business, which I'm so passionate
about.
So I started my coaching practice.
I also dove all in on sayingyes to any opportunity that lit me
up.
So I got my yoga teachertraining, I started traveling and
attending retreats all overthe country.
I got other certifications andskill sets and I just went all in
on really living a life that Ilove now, today.
(06:18):
And I realized that that was possible.
And so that was then.
The expertise and experiencethat I started to bring forward into
my coaching and into mybusiness is teaching, teaching other
people how to create livesthat they love today.
And instead of money being thething holding you back and keeping
you stuck, having money be thething that actually helps you create
(06:38):
that life.
Now I think so many peoplelistening can understand what you
just said and that story.
I think we've all felt thatway and I think some of us still
feel that way today, no matterour age and what where we are in
life.
But I think that we talk a lotabout this, that societal Expectation.
(07:01):
Can you guys hear thebackground noise?
It just got really loudoutside my door.
That societal expectation, right?
So the books we read, theshows we see, the magazines we read,
like, it's everywhere of thesethings you're supposed to achieve
in life and these.
The person you're supposed to be.
And that's from when you're alittle kid, and that's men and women,
right?
Like, everybody's telling youwhat you're supposed to be, and then
(07:22):
you think that someday yourlife is going to look different or
look like this thing thatyou've created in your head.
And even as a business owner,right, like, we get.
When does.
When does it start?
Like, when do.
When does it happen?
That magic moment whereeverything's going to look how it's
supposed to look.
And now the people are goingto know I'm a business owner and
they're going to.
I get to reap in the benefitsof business ownership.
(07:42):
Well, it doesn't just happenand looks different for every person.
It's never going to fit thatbox that we're told it's gonna fit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And one common conversationthat I have and that I honestly believe
is a huge misconception isthis idea that once I get more money,
then things will be better.
(08:03):
Like, these problems that Ihave, these challenges, like, the
way I feel my life is gonnachange, then I'll have more time,
then I can stop hustling, thenI can start doing the things that
I love and that are importantto me.
And the reality is that's justnot true.
Like, I've worked with clientswho have very little money.
They're just living paycheckto paycheck, barely scraping by.
(08:23):
And they feel the same wayabout money that other people do
who actually are making reallygood, consistent income.
They can still feel stressedabout money.
They can still feel likethey're barely scraping by.
They can still feel likethey're living paycheck to paycheck,
and they're just on thistreadmill that they can't get off
of because it's not about theamount of money that you have.
It's about.
It's about your relationshipto that money.
(08:45):
And your relationship withmoney doesn't change as you add more
money to it.
If anything, you're justexpanding and creating more of the
current situation.
In fact, I was just talkingwith a millionaire business owner
yesterday who was saying, wow,I was chasing more and more profit,
and I thought that someday Iwould arrive, but I never did.
(09:06):
And by the time I got to that Million.
Instead of being happy andfeeling like I could take my foot
off the gas, I felt like I waslocked in and I just had to keep
going and I had to keephustling and I had to keep burning
out.
And now these people wererelying on me and I was dependent
on this income.
And she was like curled up inher bed in a fetal position, crying.
And it's like.
Because those challenges don'tgo away with more money, you have
(09:29):
to address the challenges thatyou're facing now, today, with the
money you already have, andstart living the life you really
want to live today, now withthe money that you already have.
It's so important because ifyour relationship with money doesn't
change, it's never going to be enough.
There will never be enough money.
And that goes back to whatKelly was saying too, because the
(09:52):
way we were raised, it's justour relationship with money is so
skewed and so backwards.
We have to almost retrain andreframe the way we think about things.
Yes, 100%.
And I think that there aresome core misconceptions across the
board that we just all seem tohave inherited or experienced in
(10:15):
our modern day society.
And I like to refer to theseas the three scarcity seeds, which
are the three most commonscarce based beliefs that so many
of us just take as normal.
We're like, ah, this is justthe way it is and this is just truth,
but it's not inherently true.
And the first one is worthiness.
Like, I'm not worthy ordeserving, I'm not good enough, right?
(10:38):
Or I need to do better or domore or be better in order to be
worthy and deserving, weattach our worth to external circumstances.
So that's the first one.
The second one is not enoughness.
This idea that there's notenough to go around.
This is around competition,that life is a pie and there's only
so many slices to be had andif I take too big a slice, then that
(11:00):
means someone else isn'tgetting any.
So then I'm a bad personbecause there's not enough to go
around.
There's not enough for me.
And then the third one is whatI call starving artist syndrome,
which is the idea that theoption is either or.
Either you can do work thatyou love, that's really fulfilling,
but you're gonna be broke inthe process, you cannot make money
doing that.
(11:21):
Or you can make lots of moneyand be financially supported and
be very responsible, butyou're, you're gonna hate your job.
It's gonna suck, you're notgonna love it, and there's no way
that you can have both.
And all three of these beliefsare common.
We take them as inherentlytrue, and they keep us stuck in this
perspective and this life ofscarcity, hustle, burnout, and living
(11:44):
unfulfilling lives now becausewe think we have to.
But all of these beliefs arejust that.
They're ideas and they're notbased on reality.
Well, I think there's theworthiness, too kind of sticks out.
And I think that there's moreto that, even, like, having to prove
it.
So I'm not worthy of thisposition and this.
This income or this revenue orthis profit, but I have it.
(12:06):
So I have to work harder toprove that it's okay that I have
it, or I have to show peopleI'm worthy of having it by hustling
and working harder andconstantly be doing things.
I remember I've mentioned thisbefore in other episodes when my
therapist asked me why I hadto work so much.
And I was like, we're nottalking about, like, that's next
year's problem.
Halt.
(12:27):
Change the subject.
You know, but there's a lot to it.
And, you know, she made metalk about it and think about it.
A lot of.
And that's where it reallystems from is that.
That worthiness and that.
That having to prove yourself.
You have to prove that you're worthy.
You have to prove that it'sokay that you have it or that you're
doing your worth.
And that's why you get it.
You're part of the pie.
(12:47):
Right.
If there's not enough to goaround, I have to prove why I have
the money that I have, why Ihave the things that I have.
So, yeah, that sticks.
Yeah.
And I think that it's justingrained societally from childhood,
which we've already started totouch on and talk about.
And when you're a child, it'snot really around money, but it is
(13:08):
around love and affection andattention from.
From your parents.
And just think about growingup when you first start going even
before you go to school, andyou're like, oh, when I'm quiet,
when I'm a good girl, then Iget praise, then I get attention.
And then you go to school whenI check these boxes, when I do a
good job, then I get a goodgrade, then I get praise and attention.
(13:31):
It's really conditioned tobelieve that when you act a certain
way, when you show up acertain way, when you behave in alignment
with, you know, what Yourparents want what your teachers want,
then you're worthy anddeserving versus the inherent truth
of, like, you are worthy anddeserving just through your existence
alone and allowing that totruly be enough.
(13:55):
You are enough.
So how do you think thatpeople can get around, like, that
discomfort and that fear ofthose scarcity seeds and that even
just talking about money initself, Right?
So, like, not necessarilygetting past their issues with money,
(14:15):
but even the first couple ofsteps of being able to talk about
it or to not be terrified of it.
Yeah, I think really the firststep comes around awareness.
We have to first recognizewhat our current relationship with
money is, and even that wehave a relationship with money.
And because so often we justtake this as inherently true.
(14:35):
Especially because we're likeswimming in a world where so many
people believe these things.
It's kind of like we're fishin water and we don't realize that
we're in water because it'sjust the reality that we live in
same, like, we're breathingair all the time, but we might forget
about the air, or there was apoint in time where we didn't know
the air was there, and yet italways was.
And so starting to bringawareness to one, the fact that you
(14:58):
actually have a relationshipwith money, and then starting to
pull apart when you what isyour actual relationship with money?
And is it one rooted in thesedifferent versions and forms of scarcity?
And then starting to pinpoint,like, where does this come from?
Where did I learn thesebeliefs that I just accepted as true
(15:18):
of me not being good enough,me not being worthy and deserving,
needing to work harder,needing to make more, needing to
hustle, needing to push,believing that if I really love what
I do and.
And I really enjoy mybusiness, then there's no way it
can be profitable.
Because it's wrong for me toaccept that money.
And just starting torecognize, like, what are the core
beliefs under your currentrelationship with money?
(15:41):
And how is that impacting youin your life, in how you take steps
in your life, how you chooseto spend your money, the kind of
effort you output, how youbehave, what you think about yourself,
what you feel about yourself,and how it's impacting your business.
Because your relationship withmoney shows up in your business in
huge ways.
(16:02):
It can totally hold you backfrom achieving the success that you
really desire.
Or really, the reason why somany people go into business is to
feel that freedom.
But you can easily feel stuckand not have that freedom.
So the very first step isawareness around everything that
we're Talking about.
Definitely shows up in business.
(16:24):
You know, entrepreneurs andsmall business, it's all intertwined.
We talk about that all the time.
You know, your personalfinances and your business finances
are so intertwined thathowever you treat your money at home
is how you're going to treatyour money at work.
And I.
You brought up a good point ofyour choice, right?
You get to choose how youspend your money.
You get to choose what yousave for, like your value systems,
what's important to you, andthose things are going to show up
(16:45):
in your work too.
So that's a good point.
Yeah.
And I think that is really thesecond step.
Like the first step isbringing awareness to your relationship
with money and starting toshift your mindset and your belief
system around your money andlike really re patterning these core
beliefs.
But then the next step, andanother way that this supports this
(17:06):
process is learning to seeyour money clearly and track and
manage your personal financesand your business finances.
And that actually can reallyenhance the mindset and in a lot
of ways, because I find peoplewho are stressed about money or it
feels like no matter how hardyou work or what you do, it never
feels like enough.
Even when you do make moremoney, it still feels like you're
(17:28):
just money in, money out,living paycheck to paycheck.
The number one reason why youfeel stressed about money is because
you don't know what'shappening with your money.
And what you're afraid of isactually the unknown around your
money.
Because you can have a goodamount of money but still have that
fear under the surface of, oh,but it's going to go away or it's
going to get spent or what'sgoing to happen to it.
(17:48):
And it feels like money is outof your control.
And that's the part that is scary.
But when you get your moneydown on paper, what happens is suddenly
you are in control of it.
You can see clearly what is happening.
And because you can see what'shappening, then you can do something
about it.
You can't do something aboutsomething that you can't see.
(18:09):
You can't see the actual problem.
You can't see the actual situation.
So I found that 70% of yourmoney stress goes away once you get
your money down on paper, onceyou can face reality, even if your
money situation hasn't changedat all, and even if you are genuinely
living paycheck to paycheckand barely scraping by because now
(18:31):
suddenly the control is inyour hands and that tangible piece
of money ties into the mindsetand the money mindset ties into how
you manage your money and howyou feel about the choices that you
make with your money.
It's gotta be so therapeuticfor what you do for people.
I think it's interesting.
(18:52):
I mean, I totally agree withwhat you're saying.
And I think for me personally,I have a horrible relationship with
money.
Just kind of for how I wasraised and things that were brought
up.
And once I really had a betterunderstanding, I think one of the
best things for me getting ahandle on how I dealt with money
was getting hacked and like,everything, like, I had to change
(19:16):
everything.
I was like, oh, there was somuch money going out that I had no
idea about.
And like, I had to start fresh.
I'm like, oh, now I havecontrol of where things are going.
And it was a wonderful, like,start over moment.
But like, for what you'redoing, it has to be so therapeutic
for people.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And I love that form oftherapy, what you're doing.
Yeah.
(19:37):
And I love that example too,because that's so common that, you
know, a lot of the people Italk to have fear and resistance.
When I say manage and trackyour money.
Right.
It feels like budgeting.
I don't want to be limited, Idon't want to be restricted.
But it comes back to exactlywhat you just said, which is putting
the control back in your hands.
And if you can't see what'shappening with your money, then you're
(19:59):
making passive decisions withyour money.
You're just on subconscious autopilot.
And when that happens, moneyis just slipping through the cracks
and it feels like you're notin control of it.
And versus being able to seeclearly what is actually happening
and make those consciousdecisions, intentional decisions
that are really in alignmentwith the kind of life that you want
(20:20):
to live.
And once you do this, yes, itis therapeutic because your relationship
with money is just areflection of your relationship with
yourself.
When you heal yourrelationship with money, you're doing
some of the deepest forms ofpersonal growth because it ties into
survival, safety, worthiness.
Your whole identity of beingworthy and deserving, like, that's
(20:43):
really deep shit is like allbuilt into your relationship with
money.
So that's the first piece thatis uncomfortable and challenging.
But then beyond that, onceyou've done that foundational work,
you have shifted your mindsetand you can see your money clearly
and you can manage it andtrack it and you're in control of
it.
That's when your money becomesa powerful tool for manifestation.
(21:06):
Because your money is how youmake choices about your life.
It's how you make decisionsand it's how you create the life
that you are currently livingright now.
You're just doing it passivelyand unconsciously.
But when you get conscious andintentional with your money and you
spend your money in alignmentwith the life you want to live in
alignment with your values, inalignment with your priorities, in
alignment with your vision,that's how you make that life true.
(21:29):
That's how you bring thatvision into reality.
It's so easy these days.
Everything's electronic.
It's auto pays, it's tap andpays, it's swipes, right?
It's push a button.
It's the money doesn't change hands.
So writing it down.
You know, I remember the firsttime I actually for a financial advisor
had to like make a chart of mypersonal finances.
(21:52):
So like business is easy.
I have everything in theQuickBooks I have.
If QuickBooks wants to sponsorus, they can have everything itemized
and I can see where things arespent and I can track and I, you
know, look through my creditcard statement every month and make
sure it lines up.
And on the personal side,you're just like, I don't have time
for that.
Like, I don't have a, I don'thave a budgeting software or like
a bill pay software.
(22:12):
Like I'm just paying and going.
And just seeing where we werespending our money was, was very
surprising even know and thecost goes up.
I know that our patternshaven't changed much.
I pretty much pay for the samethings every month.
We go out to eat the sameamount of times, you know, but my
credit card bill has doubledin the past five years from where
(22:34):
it was before.
And being like, oh crap, wheredo I cut?
Right?
What can I cut?
Because it feels like youcan't cut anything.
It feels like you don't have achoice, that you're just surviving.
But when you actually itemizewhere that money is getting spent
and that's for both sides, right?
You itemize and you look.
And we've talked about that alot of like using your software programs
to look at where you'respending your money at work and you
(22:57):
can do it at home too.
And is this necessary?
Is this something I want?
Are my, you know, we justtalked about in our last episode.
Are my, you know, auto renewsjumping in price without telling
me, are my contracts up to date?
You know, what am I spendingon product?
What am I spending on payroll?
Where can I fix things so thatyou can have the money to be intentional.
(23:19):
Because when you are in thatsurvival mode and that tap and go,
just, they'll pay for it eventually.
Like, it's like grown on treesor something.
It's scary to think, oh, I'mgoing to sit down and actually take
the time to look at everydollar spent.
I don't know that any of usreally want to know.
I mean, we want to know, butdo we really want to know where every
(23:40):
dollar spent?
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
I think, like, this is so.
This is such a common thoughtprocess of, like, oh, it takes so
much time, and I don't reallywant to know.
I just want to be free.
Like, I really don't want tohave to think about it.
In fact, my goal is to make somuch money that I don't have to think
about it.
I can just say yes to whateverI want because I don't want to see.
(24:01):
But I have such a differentperspective on it and such a different
relationship.
And my clients, too, they tellme all the time, like, they get to
a point where tracking theirmoney and managing their money actually
becomes fun.
Because, again, it's youreally being in control of your life.
Right?
Like, that's what it is.
And I believe if you trulytrusted yourself, if you truly trusted
(24:26):
yourself with your money, ifyou trusted yourself with the decisions
that you're making for yourlife, then you would have no fear
or no resistance of looking atwhat, where you spend your money.
Because where you spend yourmoney is just how you're manifesting
this life you're currently living.
And so for me, it's actuallyreally fun to look back and say,
(24:46):
oh, what am I choosing?
What am I prioritizing?
What am I manifesting?
How did I create this lifethat I'm living today?
By looking back at what Ispent the past month and then moving
forward, what's important tome, what goals do I want to achieve?
What do I want to work towards?
And how do I really want toput effort and attention and intention
(25:06):
into creating those goals?
And so it's like a reflectivetool to see how you're creating what
you're creating.
And it's a tool formanifesting and creating the life
you want to live, moving forward.
And sometimes there can bediscomfort around that.
If you're like, I don't havemillions of dollars.
I can't just spend oneverything that I want.
And I feel like I have tosacrifice and choose between things
(25:29):
that are important to me.
And.
But I also believe that thatbrings value into your money.
For example, like, if you onlyhad 24 hours to live, and you knew
that you would spend each ofthose 24 hours very consciously,
very intentionally, you wouldonly do the things that are really
(25:49):
most important to you, andthat would make those 24 hours highly
valuable.
24 hours versus when you'relike, I got 50 years to live, and
you spend, like, a lot of itwatching Netflix and doing things
that really isn't important to you.
When you imagine that you havean overabundance, that's when you
start wasting and devaluingwhat you have.
(26:11):
So it's the same with your money.
If you only have a hundreddollars to spend, this is really
a huge opportunity to decidewhat is most important to you.
What do you truly value?
What do you truly prioritize?
And if anything, those hundreddollars are more valuable than if
you had a million dollars to spend.
(26:32):
And so it goes so much further.
It's so much more potent.
And I believe the nextquestion to consider is, are you
spending your money inalignment with your vision?
Like, in your vision, you havecertain things that are important
to you, certain things thatyou do prioritize, and are you actively
prioritizing those thingsright now with the money that you
(26:54):
have, even if it is just $100?
So what I'm hearing is that weare worthy of controlling our money.
Yes, exactly.
It's like it's such anopportunity to get to be the one
in control of your money.
And I think as well, too, it'snot only are you worthy of it, the
(27:16):
reality is you actually arealready in control of your money
when, whether you're ignoringit or not.
Like, you're the one or not.
Right?
Right.
You're the one doing it.
You're the one doing it.
And it's just up to you tomake it a conscious process instead
of an unconscious process.
Yeah.
That's terrifying.
(27:40):
Is it terrifying or is it,like, empowering to recognize?
Empowering, exactly.
Empowering.
Usually the terrifying thingsare the things that make us feel
empowered once we accomplish them.
Yes, the accomplishing the terrifying.
Harness that terrifying feeling.
Harness it.
(28:00):
And it's because, like, yourmoney is really the foundation that
underpins so many things too.
And that's why it can be soscary and uncomfortable and intimidating,
is because really, when you dothis work, it changes every area
of your life.
It bleeds into every area ofyour life.
It can lead to the businesssuccess, it can lead to the life
(28:21):
success.
And really, it's just beingfaced with, oh, wow, I have all the
power in the world and controlover my life.
And I can manifest and createwhatever I want and just really step
into my vision.
And I believe that there aresubconscious parts of us that are
actually really intimidated by that.
There are parts of us thatdon't wanna be successful.
We don't really wanna achieveour goals.
We don't really wanna stepinto our vision.
(28:42):
And so that's really, reallywhat the work is, is are you ready
to take control over what you,you already have control over?
Because it's terrifying.
Let's talk about the otherside of that, and this is something
we haven't really touched onin this series yet, is when you're
not doing those things right,when you're not addressing that you're
(29:06):
in control, when you aren'ttaking those, you know, value aligned
steps and those, thosemanifestation steps and art in alignment.
The, the effect on yourphysical health.
I know personally inrelationship health too.
You know, my husband and Iwent through an awful year last year.
Our finances, they're notgreat still because of last year,
(29:27):
but we have taken more controlover it.
We have ups and downs now, butlast year was awful.
Like physically stress,emotionally, you know, weight gain,
health, fibromyalgia, like,you name it.
And I think that's somethingwe don't address is how that affects
us internally.
(29:48):
Yeah, yeah.
I think your relationship withmoney plays a huge role in your physical
health, just like it plays ahuge role in your business health,
your relationships.
Like it really does bleed intoevery single area of life.
And it's because of everythingthat we project onto our relationship
with money.
And really our money is ourfoundational form of survival.
(30:12):
That's really what it comesdown to is we depend on our money
in order to survive.
And so if you're feelingstressed about money, whether it's
like a very prominent presentstress or whether it's a low grade
stress just in the background,it can put you in this chronic state
of fight or flight.
(30:32):
And being in this chronicstate of fight or flight impacts
your health in a really big way.
Because if your sympatheticnervous system is activated, you're
unable to rest, restore, digest.
Like your body literally can'teven digest food at the level that
it's supposed to.
So you're not even able totake in and receive the nutrients
(30:54):
that you're giving to your body.
You're unable to rest and restore.
And being in a constant stateof fight or flight is what causes
your body to break down, yourimmune system to be suppressed, and
for you to start to have majorhealth issues.
And so that's really thefoundation is if you're chronically
stressed about money, you'rein a fight or flight state.
And that can impact yourhealth in so many ways.
(31:17):
But that's also just one version.
The other version of this isif you're stressed about money, the
things around your health arethe first thing to go.
They are the things that weeasily cut out.
Like we're so unlikely to havea gym membership.
We tell ourselves like, ofcourse I can't afford organic local
produce.
Like, no way.
(31:38):
The only thing I can afford is McDonald's.
Right.
So we start sacrificing ourself care for convenience and for
these things that we believewe can afford.
And so that's another way iswe, when we're stressed about money
and when we're not intentionalwith our money, we are no longer
prioritizing our self care andour needs to prioritize ourself,
(32:00):
which just contributes to thisdownward spiral.
And if your health isn'tthere, that's actually gonna just
contribute even more to themoney stress.
Because often the chances areif you're in this situation, you're
also in hustle and grind modeand needing more money and not having
enough.
And so if your health isdeclining and then you're not able
to work as much and thenyou're not making as much money and
(32:21):
it's really just a harshdownward spiral.
And this is what can lead to burnout.
Yeah.
I think it's also not just Ican't afford this membership.
Because you don't always needa membership.
Right.
Or I can't afford these groceries.
I don't have time to gogrocery shopping.
So I'm going to run throughthe fast food.
I don't have time to go to thegym or go take a walk or be in nature
(32:43):
or do the things that I know Ineed to do because I need to be hustling,
I need to be making more money.
Right.
Like I need to figure this out.
So when and you're in thatfight or flight with money, you're
giving up the time and theenergy in addition to the cost.
Yes, exactly.
Or you just don't have it in you.
I'm like, I'd rather lay onthe couch.
I actually have a half an hour.
(33:03):
I'm going to go lay in thefetal position instead of taking
a walk.
Yeah, exactly.
Because time, energy and moneyare all connected and interwoven.
Those are really the threecreators or the three actions and
that we can take in our life.
Like anytime you spend time,energy or Money on anything.
You're creating something,you're manifesting something.
So your relationship withmoney is very much likely reflected
(33:28):
in your relationship with timeand energy.
And if one of those things isoff, that's going to bleed into the
other ones, right?
If you are feeling stressedabout money, it's going to impact
your time, it's going toinflate the amount of time and effort
you need to put into thingsversus if you have issues with time,
that's gonna impact your money.
So all three of those thingsare connected.
(33:50):
And so really, thesefoundational money stressors that
we're talking about can bleedinto and impact every single area
of your life and especiallyyour business.
So let's circle to strategiesfor helping us small business owners
when we're in those fight orflight moments or those, you know,
(34:14):
struggles with money.
What are some suggestions you have?
Yeah, and I think this isreally important because we didn't
even touch on this, but justhow, if you're in scarcity, that's
going to impact your businessin many ways, right?
Like if you're in a need andget energy and you're bringing that
into your sales calls and yourmarketing, like people can feel that
(34:36):
no one wants to spend money onsomebody who's like really desperate
and is like, please buy mything, I really need to pay my bills
this month.
So it impacts your businessthrough how people perceive your
energy.
It impacts the way you show upto your business.
If you're super stressed andyou just zone out and block out and
you're not able to put in theenergy and effort into your business,
(34:58):
right?
It really shows up in yourbusiness in so many ways.
And so starting to shift yourrelationship with money is the foundation
to growing a really successful business.
Like a successful businessthat's also able to support you financially,
not just making tons of moneyin your business, but then having
to hustle and burn out tomaintain it and then still feeling
(35:21):
the same way that you feel now.
So the solutions, the steps tothis are, One is to uncover your
seeds of scarcity is like wetalked about at the beginning, recognize
what's your currentrelationship with money, what scarcity
seeds are impacting you?
What beliefs have you beenoperating from?
What has been your default?
What has been your autopilotand why?
(35:43):
Where did you learn thesethings and how is that showing up
in your day to day with allthe decisions that you make in your
life, especially the decisionsaround money.
And that awareness is reallypowerful because once you can see
clearly what's happening,that's when you can start to change
it.
The next step is financialawareness, right?
So we've gotten that internalawareness of what's going on inside,
(36:04):
but then we need to seeclearly what's actually happening
with the money.
And that's a powerfulreflection of what you're choosing,
what you're prioritizing.
And it's actually going to bea reflection of your internal patterning
and belief system.
And so seeing clearly what isactually happening.
And then from there, that'swhen we can shift these things.
And the next step that Irecommend to my clients is let's
(36:27):
get really clear on the lifeyou actually want to live.
What is your vision, what ismost important to you?
And from there, how can wealign your money and your thoughts
and feelings around money withthat life, with that vision?
And just a simple example ofthis, right?
Because I'm not saying just belike, well, in my vision, I can just
(36:49):
spend millions of dollars on apurse when I want it, so I'm just
gonna start doing that now andthrow it a credit card.
Like, that's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is how can youmake sure you're prioritizing what
you prioritize in your vision,not based on the amount of money,
but based on the thing itself.
So one example is in myvision, when I have lots of money,
(37:11):
when I'm super abundant, I ama philanthropist.
I donate to causes that areimportant to me.
I know that's a part of my vision.
And so for the whole entirelifetime of my business, even when
I was making no money, I wasin the red.
I was like working other jobsto pay for my business.
I always donated to causesthat I cared about because that was
(37:32):
a representation of me beingsuccessful and abundant.
And it wasn't like I donatedhundreds of dollars, it was just
like a couple dollars every month.
But that intention of I mustbe successful because I donate to
causes that I care about andthen continuing to live that life,
continuing to align yourmoney, your thoughts, your feelings
(37:54):
with your vision, and thenthat's how you bring that vision
into reality.
That's when you open up thedoor to abundance.
And so then when more moneydoes start to flow in, you already
have the foundations of beingintentional, being aligned with your
money.
So then you can do more, youcan donate more money in the future
and it might not be donatingfor you, right?
(38:14):
Like another example is Istarted painting my own nails because
I said, yes, as a six figurebusiness owner, I go to the nail
salon and I Get my nails done.
So as a six figure businessowner, I must have painted nails.
And so that's me againcreating that.
Now with my money, I might notbe spending the whatever it costs
to get your nails done at thesalon, but I did spend the $8 on
(38:37):
the bottle of nail polish anddedicate the time to painting my
own nails.
Right.
So those are really the stepsis bring awareness to your money,
your thoughts and yourpatterning around money.
Get clear on the vision of thelife you really want to live if money
wasn't an issue.
And align your money and yourthoughts around money with that life
now.
(38:58):
Brilliant.
I think it actually I have athing behind me that I think lines
up with.
And it's not the Sharknadoposter though.
We could talk about that later.
Are you sure?
Hey, the thing next to theSharknado poster says next time you're
afraid to share ideas.
Remember someone once said ina meeting, let's make a film with
(39:20):
a tornado full of sharks.
So whatever it is that youthink that you can't do, right?
So that's why that's on thewall is no matter what you think
you can't do, someone walkedinto a very high powered exec meeting
and said, let's make a filmwith a tornado full of sharks.
And they've made like eight ofthem to add that on.
But the one I was going tomention is I have this little sign
(39:42):
and it's Henry Ford.
If you think you can, you can.
And if you think you can't,you are right.
And I think that knowing yourmoney gives you the power to think
you can.
Because if you don't know yourmoney, you're never going to think
you can.
And if you don't think youcan, you never will.
Yes, yes, I love that.
(40:04):
And that's really again, goingback to what happens when you can
see your money clearly and youcan feel safe and regulated and solid
in that.
When you detach your selfworth from that money and you can
feel solid in yourself nomatter what the numbers say.
Then from there your wholeentire life just becomes, how can
(40:26):
I make this happen?
Instead of like having thecontrol in money's hands and waiting
for money to someday say, yes,you can do these things, you're putting
the control back in your handsand you're saying, okay, well if
I want to take a trip toThailand, how can I do that?
How can I plan for that?
How can I make that happen?
How can I craft the steps tobring that into reality?
(40:47):
If I want to go Full time inmy business.
How can I plan for that?
How can I make that happen?
And maybe it might take longerthan I expect to implement, but I
know I'm working towards itinstead of just like, well, someday,
hopefully money's gonna decidethat I can do these things, but the
controls in money's hands,it's totally different.
(41:08):
Yes, you are money.
Exactly.
I am loving this conversation.
I feel like we could talk forever.
I think every listenerunderstands how their relationship
with money affects not onlytheir daily life, their business,
but also their personalhealth, whether we want to admit
it or not.
So thank you so much forchatting with us today.
(41:30):
And if people want to reachout and talk with you more, consult
with you or possibly hire you,how would they reach you?
Yeah, absolutely.
So I love to offer when I'm onpodcast shows, a special gift, which
is a free 30 minute abundanceactivation session with me.
And during these sessions weexplore where are you currently at
(41:51):
with your relationship withmoney, what scarcity seeds might
be impacting you?
And I help you to bringawareness to your current relationship
with money and what could bekeeping you stuck.
We also get clarity aroundwhat is your vision?
What does that life look like?
And I give you some clearsteps for how to bring that vision
into reality.
And then if you want toexplore working together from there,
we can also make time to havethat conversation as well.
(42:14):
And you can book that callwith me on my website, thebizhippie.com
activate.
I love that.
And I love the biz hippie.
It's such a fun name.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Well, thank you for being onthe show, Scarlett.
We hope to see you soon.
Thank you so much for having me.
I love this conversation todayand I'm so grateful for your show.
(42:35):
Awesome.
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