March 19, 2024 • 19 mins
Join host, Victoria, on this week's episode of the GWGN podcast. This episode centers around unlocking and nurturing self-confidence, a valuable trait that extends beyond being outspoken. In this engaging conversation, Victoria unpacks the different elements tied to self-confidence and provides practical strategies for building inner strength and positive self-perception.
In this episode she connects the notion of confidence with effective personal rebranding and shares five actionable ways to boost confidence, including challenging self-limiting beliefs and creating a positive environment for yourself.
From setting healthy boundaries to elevating your appearance, this episode explores the different dimensions of self-confidence. The importance of positive self-talk is highlighted, as well as the harmful effective of having negative people in your life.
If you're on a personal growth journey or seeking motivation to authentically embrace yourself, this podcast episode serves as your vital road map. Tune in to overcome hurdles, build or strengthen your self-confidence, and unlock the endless possibilities of life.
Remember: confidence is built in every phase of life, and it all starts with your mindset!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You have to start building your self-confidence if you want to own who you are and own your life.
Self-confidence means that you accept and trust yourself and feel a sense of
control over your life no matter what's really going on.
Music.
(00:20):
Hello, Grown Girl Gang. Welcome back to the Girl We've Grown Now podcast.
I am your host, Victoria, and I'm so happy that you are here.
If you are looking for tips, advice, and or inspiration, then you are in the right place.
This podcast was created to help you navigate life and live your most fulfilled and authentic life.
(00:44):
So I hope you guys are having a really amazing March.
I literally went to Mexico City and it was so amazing.
It was literally a spontaneous trip that one of my friends in Montreal invited me on and it was so fun.
I love Mexico, but I don't think that I've ever really had Mexico City on my
(01:04):
list until she suggested it, but we went. Obviously, the food was amazing.
We did this really cool hot air balloon experience over the pyramids.
We went to museums. I didn't realize how many museums that Mexico City had.
I heard it's a city that has one of the most museums
I did not verify so do not quote me on that but it
(01:25):
does have a lot of really amazing museums and things
to see and it's a really cool city to walk around and look at the architecture
and really just explore so it was a really much needed vacation and we are planning
on going back next year because there are some things that we did not get to
do that we want to do so I'm really really excited about going back to Mexico
City and and it was really just a really fun trip.
(01:47):
And if you have not thought about going to Mexico City, I think you should check
it out and add it to your list.
Since this month is focused on a physical glow up, I wanted to talk about confidence
in this series because confidence is crucial when it comes to glowing up and
getting the things that you want,
whether that's in your career, your relationships.
(02:08):
Personal development, or rebranding yourself, you must have confidence.
And if you don't have it, you have to start building your self-confidence.
If you want to own who you are and own your life, like it's a non-negotiable,
literally you must have it.
Self-confidence is your attitude and belief about your skills and abilities.
(02:29):
It means that you accept and trust yourself and feel a sense of control over
your life no matter what's really going on.
You also have a really positive view of yourself and you know your strengths
and and weaknesses, and that does not change the positive view that you have over yourself.
I think a lot of people, when they think of confidence, they think of it as
(02:50):
the really outgoing and loud person in the room who's like the life of the party.
But you could have quiet confidence that people notice when they see you just
by the way that you walk into a room.
You could literally draw people in. Seriously, the next time you walk into a
room, I want you to pay attention to your posture.
(03:11):
Are you walking with your shoulders back, your head high? Like Like everyone
in that room has been waiting for you to get there?
Or do you walk in a little bit hunched over and you're trying to walk really
fast and really trying to shrink yourself and do awkward waves or an awkward
smile because you don't want people to look at you?
When you evaluate how you are showing up and walking into rooms,
(03:32):
and if you find out that you maybe are shrinking yourself and looking a bit
timid, and you decide to walk in that room with authority,
with confidence, with grace, and just literally glide across the floor as if
you own the place, you will start to see the difference.
People will approach you and they are going to wonder, what does she have?
I want it and I want to get to know her. So really, confidence has a lot that plays into it.
(03:55):
But if you feel like you're someone who's not outgoing, I want to encourage
you and let you know that you don't have to be outgoing to be confident.
It's more about the way you carry yourself. It has a lot to do with the energy
that you put out in the world and just the way that you see and view yourself,
letting that exude into everything you do, like people are going to notice and
(04:16):
feel your confidence without you really having to say much.
So if you aren't feeling confident, that's okay. And it's totally normal.
And the good news is that confidence can be built.
So I do want to give you five ways that you can start building your confidence today.
Also, I do want to say that when it comes to building your confidence,
you have to to really be gentle and patient with yourself.
(04:39):
You have to remember that if you are someone who maybe lacks self-confidence
and self-worth, it is probably because past experiences have really torn you
down and diminished your confidence over time.
Scrutiny of your character, your body, your personality.
We all know the world can be so cruel and unfortunately sometimes it's the people
(04:59):
who are supposed to love us the most who maybe unintentionally really can be
the ones to really break down that self-worth and that confidence.
So you have to just give yourself grace and know that depending on what you've
been through, your story, how traumatizing or how long you've dealt with different
things that broke down your confidence, it may take you a while to build it up. And that is okay.
(05:21):
Just remembering that and not being in a rush to do it.
But as long as you put in the work and you start to work towards being the most
confident that you can be, then you're going to get there.
But just knowing that it might take time and even if it takes time,
it doesn't mean it's impossible.
You can still become the most confident version of yourself.
(05:42):
Being confident really does start in your mind.
When you decide to put in the work to be more confident, you really can gain
confidence at any age, any phase of your life, any size.
It's about building up love and self-esteem for yourself and really changing
that negative perception that you have of yourself so much so that if someone
(06:04):
was to try to come and diminish your worth again,
they can't because you've created your own armor of confidence and self-worth.
Being confident doesn't mean that you don't want to improve yourself.
So you can be confident while you also want to improve your body,
your style, or rebrand your look.
It just means that you are comfortable enough with yourself that you are able
(06:27):
to acknowledge that you want to improve yourself, but it's coming from a place
of love versus a place of hate or negativity.
It's not coming with you talking down on yourself. It's coming with you,
looking at yourself in the mirror, telling yourself how amazing you are,
and knowing that because you want to be the best version of yourself.
There are some things that you want to improve to be even more amazing than you already are.
(06:52):
It is completely okay to own your amazingness. Even if you don't feel as amazing
as maybe you did in the past, confidence isn't just meant for people who are
fit or people that are a 10 from society's standards.
I believe that having confidence can make you show up in the world as a 10 even
(07:13):
if you don't meet the world quote-unquote standard of a 10.
It really just is an energy and anyone can embody that energy.
So let's get into the five ways to help boost your self-confidence.
So the first one is to challenge negative self-talk.
The way that you speak to yourself matters. If you are constantly telling yourself
(07:35):
negative things and talking down on yourself, it is inevitable that you will
believe that and that will shape the way that you move through life.
You will have a very woe-is-me mentality and a more pessimistic view of what
you are capable of and what you deserve.
And when you have that, life becomes that much harder because if you can't believe
(07:57):
in yourself, then I promise you, no one else will.
Because if someone is sitting there trying to encourage you,
But all you can say back is, oh, well, I can't do this because of X, Y, and Z.
Eventually, that person's going to stop. In my opinion, you really do have to
believe in yourself more than other people.
And I think there are people who are patient enough to get you there.
But I think just in our society today, that is very rare.
(08:18):
So the easiest way to combat negative self-talk is through daily positive activities.
Affirmations. I know this is not groundbreaking or new, but they work.
So I feel like it is worth saying you have to replace that negative thought
or belief with a positive one.
And the only way that you are going to do that is by filling your mind and speaking
positivity into your own life.
(08:41):
So I would say if you can make time in the morning or really any time of the
day, but personally, I feel like when you do affirmations in the morning,
it's a really great way to start your day off and begin the day with a positive
mindset and let that flow into the rest of your day.
But also, if you can do them at night as well,
(09:02):
it's also a really great way to end your day with a positive mindset and just
really creating space for positive things to flow into your mind before before
you go to sleep, I feel like you are going to sleep better.
And I think we really underestimate our subconscious.
That's why I don't know if you've ever done this, but if you watch like a scary
movie before bed, you're more likely to have like a weird, like scary nightmare, like dream.
(09:27):
And so really when you fill your mind with positive things before bed,
that seeps into your subconscious and maybe you'll dream about it.
And I feel like the more that you can get positivity into your subconscious,
the more it's going to change your own mindset and it's going to reframe the
way that you think about yourself.
These really don't have to be long affirmations. If you can dedicate a few minutes
(09:49):
in the morning and a few minutes before bed consistently, you will see your
perception of yourself change over time.
Tip number two is to create a positive environment for yourself.
So how you allow other people to talk to you and the kind of energy that you
allow in your life is just as important as creating positive self-talk for yourself.
(10:10):
Because if you are challenging your own negative self-talk, but you have people
around you who are bringing negative energy and talking down on you,
then no matter how hard you try to change the way that you think of yourself,
that negativity that you are surrounding yourself with.
Going to sink in. And I think it can be really challenging because I think some
(10:34):
relationships, it's hard to break those off, especially if it's family.
But we have to be willing to set boundaries and create our own safe spaces.
That means if you need to limit time around your family and only see them at
family gatherings, then do that if that's what's best for you and your well-being.
If you need to remove yourself from conversations, voice that in a very respectful way.
(10:58):
You can say something like I don't feel
like this conversation is conducive to the positive
environment that I am trying to create for myself so
I am going to remove myself from this conversation or
come up with a phrase that will help you assertively
set that boundary and when you start
getting serious about your boundaries and what you
(11:20):
won't tolerate from people then and only then will they start to respect you
and if they can't respect you maybe they will just be frustrated and not talk
to you and cut the tie themselves because I think sometimes boundaries can scare
people away and I look at that as a good thing because if they're not willing
to accept your boundary,
then there really isn't much that you can do.
(11:40):
Also, if you have the person who just doesn't respect your boundary but still
is in, you know, your space, then maybe it's time to consider that you have
to limit that relationship to only greetings and just not engage.
If it's a relationship that you can't completely cut off. The older I get,
the more that I realize that really the people around you have such an effect
(12:01):
on you and you have to protect your well-being at all costs.
If you want to have a positive life, you really can't allow negative people
to infiltrate that no matter what the relationship is.
Most people are not willing to argue with themselves or talk to someone who
isn't giving them the intention or reaction that you want.
(12:22):
So really just putting boundaries in place that really can keep you from feeding
into that energy is going to be key.
Tip number three is to take care of yourself and put effort into your appearance.
So look good, feel good. It's such a thing.
I know most of us have heard that and that is literally what this month series is about.
(12:43):
It's about really just investing in making making yourself look and feel your
best by investing in your health and your appearance.
And as much as some of us hate the reality of how looks play a role in everything,
it really just is a part of life, whether we want it to be or not.
When you look good and you present yourself in a certain way,
(13:06):
you attract people that align with that and also opportunities that align with
how you show up in the world.
If you were wanting to be a business person and network, When you go to network,
show up dressed apart as well as being prepared to have conversations that show
your confidence and your knowledge and your expertise.
If you are dating and you want to give like rich wife and feminine energy,
(13:30):
show up in a way that highlights your femininity.
Speak in a soft and girly voice, wear dresses, be dainty. People will notice that.
I promise you there was this guy that I was talking to and
he commented on how girly my voice was and
he said that there are so many women who are focused on
business and climbing the corporate ladder that they tend to take on a more
(13:51):
masculinity in their voice and truly it was so interesting to hear it's not
something I really had heard before but if you want to do that in business that
is fine but tailor your voice for the situation that you're in in dating if
you you want to present more feminine,
make sure that you make that switch because clearly, men notice.
I think whatever it is that you are trying to attract in the world,
(14:14):
make sure that you are showing up as that in those situations.
The fourth tip is to be assertive. When you know what you want,
it comes off as being sure of yourself and it exudes confidence.
When someone is speaking in a very sure way, then it's going to be less likely
that someone is going to try to convince of something else when it has to do with what they want.
(14:37):
So if you want something and you can assertively voice that,
then usually the other person is going to listen and not try to downplay what you want.
But if they do, you have to be willing to say no and voice your needs and wants
in a respectful and calm way.
Be okay with saying no and walking away because I think when you voice something
assertively and say that there is someone else who just is going to push the
(14:59):
button and try try not to give you that and try to give you less and you accept
it, then you have shown them that,
yeah, you might sound like you know what you want, but at the end of the day,
they can sway things to get what they want instead.
So I think it's really important to be able to say no and to walk away from people.
Again, whether that's in relationships, career, anything, like,
(15:19):
being willing to say no and walk away is so powerful. Also being able to communicate
while keeping your emotions in check.
Like I know sometimes it can be challenging, but when you can communicate in
an effective way that keeps your emotions in check, but also voices exactly
what you are feeling, that is something that I feel like is a game changer in all aspects of life.
(15:41):
Also being willing to stand up for yourself when someone isn't respecting you
or your boundaries and being willing to say, hey, this is my boundary.
You've crossed the line and I would appreciate it if you don't do that again.
If you do, then I will be removing myself from this friendship,
relationship, whatever it is.
But being willing to stand up for yourself. I think sometimes as women,
(16:02):
we can shy away from that.
And I think that if we are bold in standing up for ourselves,
that is another thing that is really powerful.
Assertiveness is about being calm and controlled, but also not shying away from
our needs and wants and voicing the things that need to be said when it comes
to how we feel and what we will and won't tolerate.
Tip number five, challenge yourself.
(16:24):
So the timeless saying that you don't grow within your comfort zone will always ring true.
When you go outside of your comfort zone and really challenge yourself to do
the things that you are nervous about or unsure of, you are showing yourself
that you can try anything.
You might not succeed the first time, totally okay, but you will will always
(16:45):
learn from the challenge if you have a growth mindset and the learning will
give you a confidence boost to try again with the learnings that you take from the first try.
Really be open to challenging yourself. I think
a lot of times fear can hold a lot of us back.
But really, when you think of being held back by fear, it just,
(17:06):
I don't know, I feel like it just is such a waste of time and a waste of energy.
Because at the end of the day, if you let fear hold you back,
you're not going to achieve it anyway.
So you might as well at least try versus not trying. And I think sometimes it can be a pride thing.
And I think you really have to let go of ego and just be willing to put yourself out there.
(17:26):
So those are the the five tips that I believe that you can use to boost your confidence.
And when you are confident, it becomes so much easier to follow your own path
because you trust and rely on yourself.
You will feel more fearless and know that as long as you continually work at
whatever it is that you want, you have the ability to achieve it.
(17:49):
Self-confidence allows you to accept the good things that you deserve in life without question.
Most of us, we're not going to feel confident 24 7. That's completely natural.
But really having tools that you could use for when you don't feel as confident
to help boost your confidence in that moment and talk yourself up.
And I think the best way to use that was tip number one, positive affirmations,
(18:12):
because when you know that you're feeling down,
you can look in the mirror and like hype yourself up or call a friend and get
hyped up, you really will feel the mood and energy shift.
And I think it's so powerful to do that for yourself, but it is also powerful
having a good support system who believes in you, who will boost you up and hype you up.
(18:33):
I feel like those are some of the best people to have, the people who just want
to see you win as much as they want to win.
All right, grown girl gang, so this was a short episode. So this is more like
a mini episode, but I really hope that you found my tips helpful.
I really hope that we can all keep striving to be the most confident versions
of ourselves and really just glow up and get the life that we want.
(18:55):
Really, I just want you all to believe that whatever it is that you want, you can achieve it.
You just have to be your number one hype person, believe in yourself and go
after it and the rest will be history.
All right, with that, we will chat next week. Bye, Grown Girl Gang.
Thank you all for tuning into this week's episode. If you really loved the episode
(19:16):
and you felt like it resonated with you, be sure to share the love and share
the episode with a friend.
Also, if you could take a minute and head to the review section wherever you
listen to your podcast and leave me a review, letting me know what you're loving
about these episodes and which topics you want to hear next.
That way, I can make sure that I continue creating episodes that you love.
Also, make sure you hit the subscribe button so that you don't miss an episode.
(19:38):
Until next week, bye grown girls.
Music.
You have to start building your self-confidence if you want to own who you are and own your life.
Self-confidence means that you accept and trust yourself and feel a sense of
control over your life no matter what's really going on.
Music.
(00:20):
Hello, Grown Girl Gang. Welcome back to the Girl We've Grown Now podcast.
I am your host, Victoria, and I'm so happy that you are here.
If you are looking for tips, advice, and or inspiration, then you are in the right place.
This podcast was created to help you navigate life and live your most fulfilled and authentic life.
(00:44):
So I hope you guys are having a really amazing March.
I literally went to Mexico City and it was so amazing.
It was literally a spontaneous trip that one of my friends in Montreal invited me on and it was so fun.
I love Mexico, but I don't think that I've ever really had Mexico City on my
(01:04):
list until she suggested it, but we went. Obviously, the food was amazing.
We did this really cool hot air balloon experience over the pyramids.
We went to museums. I didn't realize how many museums that Mexico City had.
I heard it's a city that has one of the most museums
I did not verify so do not quote me on that but it
(01:25):
does have a lot of really amazing museums and things
to see and it's a really cool city to walk around and look at the architecture
and really just explore so it was a really much needed vacation and we are planning
on going back next year because there are some things that we did not get to
do that we want to do so I'm really really excited about going back to Mexico
City and and it was really just a really fun trip.
(01:47):
And if you have not thought about going to Mexico City, I think you should check
it out and add it to your list.
Since this month is focused on a physical glow up, I wanted to talk about confidence
in this series because confidence is crucial when it comes to glowing up and
getting the things that you want,
whether that's in your career, your relationships.
(02:08):
Personal development, or rebranding yourself, you must have confidence.
And if you don't have it, you have to start building your self-confidence.
If you want to own who you are and own your life, like it's a non-negotiable,
literally you must have it.
Self-confidence is your attitude and belief about your skills and abilities.
(02:29):
It means that you accept and trust yourself and feel a sense of control over
your life no matter what's really going on.
You also have a really positive view of yourself and you know your strengths
and and weaknesses, and that does not change the positive view that you have over yourself.
I think a lot of people, when they think of confidence, they think of it as
(02:50):
the really outgoing and loud person in the room who's like the life of the party.
But you could have quiet confidence that people notice when they see you just
by the way that you walk into a room.
You could literally draw people in. Seriously, the next time you walk into a
room, I want you to pay attention to your posture.
(03:11):
Are you walking with your shoulders back, your head high? Like Like everyone
in that room has been waiting for you to get there?
Or do you walk in a little bit hunched over and you're trying to walk really
fast and really trying to shrink yourself and do awkward waves or an awkward
smile because you don't want people to look at you?
When you evaluate how you are showing up and walking into rooms,
(03:32):
and if you find out that you maybe are shrinking yourself and looking a bit
timid, and you decide to walk in that room with authority,
with confidence, with grace, and just literally glide across the floor as if
you own the place, you will start to see the difference.
People will approach you and they are going to wonder, what does she have?
I want it and I want to get to know her. So really, confidence has a lot that plays into it.
(03:55):
But if you feel like you're someone who's not outgoing, I want to encourage
you and let you know that you don't have to be outgoing to be confident.
It's more about the way you carry yourself. It has a lot to do with the energy
that you put out in the world and just the way that you see and view yourself,
letting that exude into everything you do, like people are going to notice and
(04:16):
feel your confidence without you really having to say much.
So if you aren't feeling confident, that's okay. And it's totally normal.
And the good news is that confidence can be built.
So I do want to give you five ways that you can start building your confidence today.
Also, I do want to say that when it comes to building your confidence,
you have to to really be gentle and patient with yourself.
(04:39):
You have to remember that if you are someone who maybe lacks self-confidence
and self-worth, it is probably because past experiences have really torn you
down and diminished your confidence over time.
Scrutiny of your character, your body, your personality.
We all know the world can be so cruel and unfortunately sometimes it's the people
(04:59):
who are supposed to love us the most who maybe unintentionally really can be
the ones to really break down that self-worth and that confidence.
So you have to just give yourself grace and know that depending on what you've
been through, your story, how traumatizing or how long you've dealt with different
things that broke down your confidence, it may take you a while to build it up. And that is okay.
(05:21):
Just remembering that and not being in a rush to do it.
But as long as you put in the work and you start to work towards being the most
confident that you can be, then you're going to get there.
But just knowing that it might take time and even if it takes time,
it doesn't mean it's impossible.
You can still become the most confident version of yourself.
(05:42):
Being confident really does start in your mind.
When you decide to put in the work to be more confident, you really can gain
confidence at any age, any phase of your life, any size.
It's about building up love and self-esteem for yourself and really changing
that negative perception that you have of yourself so much so that if someone
(06:04):
was to try to come and diminish your worth again,
they can't because you've created your own armor of confidence and self-worth.
Being confident doesn't mean that you don't want to improve yourself.
So you can be confident while you also want to improve your body,
your style, or rebrand your look.
It just means that you are comfortable enough with yourself that you are able
(06:27):
to acknowledge that you want to improve yourself, but it's coming from a place
of love versus a place of hate or negativity.
It's not coming with you talking down on yourself. It's coming with you,
looking at yourself in the mirror, telling yourself how amazing you are,
and knowing that because you want to be the best version of yourself.
There are some things that you want to improve to be even more amazing than you already are.
(06:52):
It is completely okay to own your amazingness. Even if you don't feel as amazing
as maybe you did in the past, confidence isn't just meant for people who are
fit or people that are a 10 from society's standards.
I believe that having confidence can make you show up in the world as a 10 even
(07:13):
if you don't meet the world quote-unquote standard of a 10.
It really just is an energy and anyone can embody that energy.
So let's get into the five ways to help boost your self-confidence.
So the first one is to challenge negative self-talk.
The way that you speak to yourself matters. If you are constantly telling yourself
(07:35):
negative things and talking down on yourself, it is inevitable that you will
believe that and that will shape the way that you move through life.
You will have a very woe-is-me mentality and a more pessimistic view of what
you are capable of and what you deserve.
And when you have that, life becomes that much harder because if you can't believe
(07:57):
in yourself, then I promise you, no one else will.
Because if someone is sitting there trying to encourage you,
But all you can say back is, oh, well, I can't do this because of X, Y, and Z.
Eventually, that person's going to stop. In my opinion, you really do have to
believe in yourself more than other people.
And I think there are people who are patient enough to get you there.
But I think just in our society today, that is very rare.
(08:18):
So the easiest way to combat negative self-talk is through daily positive activities.
Affirmations. I know this is not groundbreaking or new, but they work.
So I feel like it is worth saying you have to replace that negative thought
or belief with a positive one.
And the only way that you are going to do that is by filling your mind and speaking
positivity into your own life.
(08:41):
So I would say if you can make time in the morning or really any time of the
day, but personally, I feel like when you do affirmations in the morning,
it's a really great way to start your day off and begin the day with a positive
mindset and let that flow into the rest of your day.
But also, if you can do them at night as well,
(09:02):
it's also a really great way to end your day with a positive mindset and just
really creating space for positive things to flow into your mind before before
you go to sleep, I feel like you are going to sleep better.
And I think we really underestimate our subconscious.
That's why I don't know if you've ever done this, but if you watch like a scary
movie before bed, you're more likely to have like a weird, like scary nightmare, like dream.
(09:27):
And so really when you fill your mind with positive things before bed,
that seeps into your subconscious and maybe you'll dream about it.
And I feel like the more that you can get positivity into your subconscious,
the more it's going to change your own mindset and it's going to reframe the
way that you think about yourself.
These really don't have to be long affirmations. If you can dedicate a few minutes
(09:49):
in the morning and a few minutes before bed consistently, you will see your
perception of yourself change over time.
Tip number two is to create a positive environment for yourself.
So how you allow other people to talk to you and the kind of energy that you
allow in your life is just as important as creating positive self-talk for yourself.
(10:10):
Because if you are challenging your own negative self-talk, but you have people
around you who are bringing negative energy and talking down on you,
then no matter how hard you try to change the way that you think of yourself,
that negativity that you are surrounding yourself with.
Going to sink in. And I think it can be really challenging because I think some
(10:34):
relationships, it's hard to break those off, especially if it's family.
But we have to be willing to set boundaries and create our own safe spaces.
That means if you need to limit time around your family and only see them at
family gatherings, then do that if that's what's best for you and your well-being.
If you need to remove yourself from conversations, voice that in a very respectful way.
(10:58):
You can say something like I don't feel
like this conversation is conducive to the positive
environment that I am trying to create for myself so
I am going to remove myself from this conversation or
come up with a phrase that will help you assertively
set that boundary and when you start
getting serious about your boundaries and what you
(11:20):
won't tolerate from people then and only then will they start to respect you
and if they can't respect you maybe they will just be frustrated and not talk
to you and cut the tie themselves because I think sometimes boundaries can scare
people away and I look at that as a good thing because if they're not willing
to accept your boundary,
then there really isn't much that you can do.
(11:40):
Also, if you have the person who just doesn't respect your boundary but still
is in, you know, your space, then maybe it's time to consider that you have
to limit that relationship to only greetings and just not engage.
If it's a relationship that you can't completely cut off. The older I get,
the more that I realize that really the people around you have such an effect
(12:01):
on you and you have to protect your well-being at all costs.
If you want to have a positive life, you really can't allow negative people
to infiltrate that no matter what the relationship is.
Most people are not willing to argue with themselves or talk to someone who
isn't giving them the intention or reaction that you want.
(12:22):
So really just putting boundaries in place that really can keep you from feeding
into that energy is going to be key.
Tip number three is to take care of yourself and put effort into your appearance.
So look good, feel good. It's such a thing.
I know most of us have heard that and that is literally what this month series is about.
(12:43):
It's about really just investing in making making yourself look and feel your
best by investing in your health and your appearance.
And as much as some of us hate the reality of how looks play a role in everything,
it really just is a part of life, whether we want it to be or not.
When you look good and you present yourself in a certain way,
(13:06):
you attract people that align with that and also opportunities that align with
how you show up in the world.
If you were wanting to be a business person and network, When you go to network,
show up dressed apart as well as being prepared to have conversations that show
your confidence and your knowledge and your expertise.
If you are dating and you want to give like rich wife and feminine energy,
(13:30):
show up in a way that highlights your femininity.
Speak in a soft and girly voice, wear dresses, be dainty. People will notice that.
I promise you there was this guy that I was talking to and
he commented on how girly my voice was and
he said that there are so many women who are focused on
business and climbing the corporate ladder that they tend to take on a more
(13:51):
masculinity in their voice and truly it was so interesting to hear it's not
something I really had heard before but if you want to do that in business that
is fine but tailor your voice for the situation that you're in in dating if
you you want to present more feminine,
make sure that you make that switch because clearly, men notice.
I think whatever it is that you are trying to attract in the world,
(14:14):
make sure that you are showing up as that in those situations.
The fourth tip is to be assertive. When you know what you want,
it comes off as being sure of yourself and it exudes confidence.
When someone is speaking in a very sure way, then it's going to be less likely
that someone is going to try to convince of something else when it has to do with what they want.
(14:37):
So if you want something and you can assertively voice that,
then usually the other person is going to listen and not try to downplay what you want.
But if they do, you have to be willing to say no and voice your needs and wants
in a respectful and calm way.
Be okay with saying no and walking away because I think when you voice something
assertively and say that there is someone else who just is going to push the
(14:59):
button and try try not to give you that and try to give you less and you accept
it, then you have shown them that,
yeah, you might sound like you know what you want, but at the end of the day,
they can sway things to get what they want instead.
So I think it's really important to be able to say no and to walk away from people.
Again, whether that's in relationships, career, anything, like,
(15:19):
being willing to say no and walk away is so powerful. Also being able to communicate
while keeping your emotions in check.
Like I know sometimes it can be challenging, but when you can communicate in
an effective way that keeps your emotions in check, but also voices exactly
what you are feeling, that is something that I feel like is a game changer in all aspects of life.
(15:41):
Also being willing to stand up for yourself when someone isn't respecting you
or your boundaries and being willing to say, hey, this is my boundary.
You've crossed the line and I would appreciate it if you don't do that again.
If you do, then I will be removing myself from this friendship,
relationship, whatever it is.
But being willing to stand up for yourself. I think sometimes as women,
(16:02):
we can shy away from that.
And I think that if we are bold in standing up for ourselves,
that is another thing that is really powerful.
Assertiveness is about being calm and controlled, but also not shying away from
our needs and wants and voicing the things that need to be said when it comes
to how we feel and what we will and won't tolerate.
Tip number five, challenge yourself.
(16:24):
So the timeless saying that you don't grow within your comfort zone will always ring true.
When you go outside of your comfort zone and really challenge yourself to do
the things that you are nervous about or unsure of, you are showing yourself
that you can try anything.
You might not succeed the first time, totally okay, but you will will always
(16:45):
learn from the challenge if you have a growth mindset and the learning will
give you a confidence boost to try again with the learnings that you take from the first try.
Really be open to challenging yourself. I think
a lot of times fear can hold a lot of us back.
But really, when you think of being held back by fear, it just,
(17:06):
I don't know, I feel like it just is such a waste of time and a waste of energy.
Because at the end of the day, if you let fear hold you back,
you're not going to achieve it anyway.
So you might as well at least try versus not trying. And I think sometimes it can be a pride thing.
And I think you really have to let go of ego and just be willing to put yourself out there.
(17:26):
So those are the the five tips that I believe that you can use to boost your confidence.
And when you are confident, it becomes so much easier to follow your own path
because you trust and rely on yourself.
You will feel more fearless and know that as long as you continually work at
whatever it is that you want, you have the ability to achieve it.
(17:49):
Self-confidence allows you to accept the good things that you deserve in life without question.
Most of us, we're not going to feel confident 24 7. That's completely natural.
But really having tools that you could use for when you don't feel as confident
to help boost your confidence in that moment and talk yourself up.
And I think the best way to use that was tip number one, positive affirmations,
(18:12):
because when you know that you're feeling down,
you can look in the mirror and like hype yourself up or call a friend and get
hyped up, you really will feel the mood and energy shift.
And I think it's so powerful to do that for yourself, but it is also powerful
having a good support system who believes in you, who will boost you up and hype you up.
(18:33):
I feel like those are some of the best people to have, the people who just want
to see you win as much as they want to win.
All right, grown girl gang, so this was a short episode. So this is more like
a mini episode, but I really hope that you found my tips helpful.
I really hope that we can all keep striving to be the most confident versions
of ourselves and really just glow up and get the life that we want.
(18:55):
Really, I just want you all to believe that whatever it is that you want, you can achieve it.
You just have to be your number one hype person, believe in yourself and go
after it and the rest will be history.
All right, with that, we will chat next week. Bye, Grown Girl Gang.
Thank you all for tuning into this week's episode. If you really loved the episode
(19:16):
and you felt like it resonated with you, be sure to share the love and share
the episode with a friend.
Also, if you could take a minute and head to the review section wherever you
listen to your podcast and leave me a review, letting me know what you're loving
about these episodes and which topics you want to hear next.
That way, I can make sure that I continue creating episodes that you love.
Also, make sure you hit the subscribe button so that you don't miss an episode.
(19:38):
Until next week, bye grown girls.
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