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June 7, 2024 69 mins

In this week's episode, host Victoria wraps up the mindset series with an informative interview with Dr. Kate Truitt, an award-winning clinical psychologist and applied neuroscientist. 

Dr. Kate discusses the profound impact trauma can have on our mental health, relationships, and belief systems. She explains the science of neuroplasticity and its role in overcoming past traumas and reshaping our mindset. You will learn about common misconceptions about trauma, how it affects our bodies physically, and practical strategies for building resilience and reframing negative patterns.

In this episode they also cover effective coping mechanisms, the importance of self-compassion, and the role of forgiveness in any healing journey. Dr. Kate provides actionable insights and exercises, such as the CPR for the Amygdala, to help listeners navigate their trauma and build a healthier, more fulfilling life.

Make sure you tune in to gain valuable knowledge from a leading expert in the mental health space! Listen in to the full episode and discover how you can harness the power of your mind to foster resilience and well-being.

 

Links to Checkout!

Connect w/ Dr. Kate Truitt on IG

Connect w/ Dr. Kate Truitt on YouTube

Dr. Kate Truitt's Website

Connect w/ Victoria on TikTok

Connect w/ Victoria on IG

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Our brain tunes into those three core values and says, are these being threatened?
Because if they are, I may not survive.
And bringing in those relational pieces are really, really important because
those get so often missed in trauma.
Music.

(00:22):
Hello, Grown Girl Gang. Welcome back to the Girl We Grow Now podcast.
I am your host, Victoria, and I am so happy that you are tuning back in.
If you are looking for tips, advice, and or inspiration, then you are in the right place.
This podcast was created to help you navigate life and live your most fulfilled and authentic life.

(00:46):
Today's episode will wrap up our mindset series, and I'm so happy that I get
to share the interview that I did with Dr.
Kate Truitt. She dropped a lot of knowledge in this episode.
Today's episode is about trauma and resilience.
Dr. Kate is an award-winning clinical psychologist and applied neuroscientist.

(01:07):
She is internationally recognized for her expertise in trauma stress and resilience.
She's also the founder of the Truett Institute and she has a clinical team at Dr.
Kate Truett and Associates. She integrates cutting-edge neuroscience into mental
health training and seminars.
She also serves as CEO of both the Amy Research Foundation and the Trauma Counseling Center of LA.

(01:34):
She has reached so many people through social media and through other forms
of media like BBC and Today.
Her voice in the mental health space extends to her role as a thought after
speaker and expert in media.
She really is a big voice in the mental health space. And again,
I'm so excited to have her on so that we can really dive into trauma and stress

(01:56):
and just the effect that it has on our mental health and our mindset.
We will also talk about her books. She is an author of Healing in Your Hands,
Self-Havening Exercises to Harness Neuroplasticity, Heal Traumatic Stress, and Build Resilience.
And her memoir, Keep Breathing. Thank you.
She truly is dedicated to advancing the treatment of trauma and stress disorders,

(02:18):
and she's been making significant strides in destigmatizing mental health and
fostering resilience worldwide.
Which is why I wanted to have her on the podcast, because I really want to be
a part of the conversation and I want you guys to really hear from someone who
has so much experience and so much knowledge so that we can all use this knowledge

(02:38):
to improve our own mental health and our mindsets.
In today's episode, we dive deep into trauma, what trauma is,
what some misconceptions are that a lot of people have about trauma,
how it can influence our mindset and our belief systems and affect our relationships.
We talk about neuroplasticity and the role that it plays in overcoming past

(03:01):
traumas and changing our mindset.
We talk about resilience and the role that that plays in trauma and different
strategies on how we can go about overcoming trauma and building resilience,
this episode really has a lot of valuable nuggets that Dr. Kate shared with us.
So I really encourage you to tune in and listen to the full episode so that

(03:23):
you can really get a better understanding of the effect that trauma has on us
in our lives and the role that it plays and how it can affect our mindset and
some practical things that we can do to overcome those things.
All right, so with that being said, let's jump into the conversation with Dr. Kate.
I'm so excited to dive into trauma and resilience with you, Dr.

(03:47):
Kate. How are you? I'm doing just great. I'm excited to be here.
Awesome. Okay. I love to start with an icebreaker question.
So I have a little question for you that's not related to our topic. Okay.
So what has been your 2024 mantra that you've been using to help you live your
most fulfilled life this year?
That's a good one. I would go with the The idea of elevation.

(04:09):
And so much of the work that I do is around the concept of the phoenix journey.
The flying into the fire, the burning up, rising stronger and wiser than ever before.
And there's an idea within that framework of a group of phoenixes being called an odyssey.
I actually, that's one of my dedications in my memoir that just came out is to my odyssey.

(04:33):
So So how do we rise together as phoenixes and elevate one another,
especially as wounded healers or women or those of us who are on the journey? So elevation.
I like that a lot. And I think elevation is so important as we go into every
year. So I think that's a really crucial one.
All right. So can you share with us your journey into the field of psychology

(04:54):
and neuroscience? Yeah. Long version or short version?
Medium version. No, I'm just kidding.
You know, Victoria, like many people, I've had my own complex experiences throughout
the course of my life and had difficulties in my childhood.
And I grew up in the Midwest where social emotional learning.
Well, now what we consider that, but having basic conversations around feelings

(05:18):
and emotions wasn't a thing.
And as I experienced my own brain struggling in my day-to-day life from childhood,
adolescence, teens, young adulthood, I became fascinated and at times even desperate
to understand what was going on.
I was very lucky to have some wonderful mentors who supported me in connecting

(05:40):
into the idea of neuroscience, first and foremost.
I'm a psychologist and an applied neuroscientist. And I began studying fear
and learning paradigms in my very, very early 20s, in large part to understand
what was going on in my own mind-body system.
And as I continued to grow and develop and I fell in love with the work.

(06:01):
So now I wear many different hats in the field of mental health and in terms
of being a speaker and consultant and supporting people and learning how to
partner with their own mind-body systems. And it's just a really deep passion.
And it started with my own relationship
with myself and not knowing that there was a lot I did not know.
And I didn't know why I was having such a hard time emotionally.

(06:24):
Nor how to even have the vocabulary around getting help.
One of my biggest missions is destigmatizing mental health and bringing access
and awareness at a global level to humanity so we can have these conversations,
the conversations that you're sponsoring.
So thank you for being a part of the Odyssey and helping us all journey a little
more deeply and fully together. other. Yeah.

(06:46):
So I can completely relate to you when you mentioned that, you know,
growing up, you didn't really talk about feelings and didn't really have that
open dialogue because I didn't either.
And when I talk to a lot of my friends, I'm in my 30s, so a lot of my friends
in our 30s, we all kind of feel the same way.
So we talk and we're like, oh, was it a generational thing?

(07:06):
Because I do feel like now, I just think it's the point that we are at in society.
It's becoming more acceptable to talk about, which I really love,
but it's really just getting there because we're so used to not having talked about it in our past.
Yeah. Well, and feeling comfortable sharing, leaning into vulnerability,

(07:28):
sidestepping what can feel like shame and recognizing that these difficult,
complex feelings are a normal and actually really important part of the human experience.
Yeah, build connection through them. That is so true.
And also like the vulnerability and just trusting that, you know,

(07:49):
that person is going to not like,
use your secret or your shame that you felt shameful of, even though it's not
really shameful against you.
I think that's like another huge piece. Oh, absolutely.
And knowing who is safe, who can we have those conversations with?
So it sounds like with you and your girlfriends, there's been a bridge that's
been built of that connection to say, these are safe people. And what a gift.

(08:14):
It really is. So how do you define trauma and how does it impact the brain and our mental health.
We know there is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, which is the Bible of
mental health that has a lot of big words for what trauma is.
And as a specialist in trauma,
the way I like to reflect on it and talk about it with my colleagues and my

(08:39):
clients is it's anything that was scary enough, big enough,
bad enough, hard enough that our brain, whether in a a real or perceived way
thought that our experience of life was threatened.
And so I try to really take it back to our sense of self.
And my area of specialization in neuroscience is a core part of our brain called

(09:00):
the amygdala. I lovingly call her Amy, the amygdala.
And her primary job is to keep us alive.
Over the many years that I've been studying trauma, as well as the neuroscience
of trauma and resilience.
I really honed in on three core values of the amygdala, which I believe are
the anchors of how a traumatic experience gets encoded in the brain and impacts

(09:22):
our system going forward.
That's fundamentally a baseline one, which most people get is, am I safe or not?
Is there an immediate threat to my life? And then some that are a little more
complicated or nuanced that aren't frequently thought about until we're living
through it is a threat to our sense of belonging to our village or our community,
a sense of I'm not lovable, I'm not okay as I am, I don't have worth,

(09:45):
that those experiences can be deeply traumatic, as well as fundamentally our
ability to get our core needs met and be successful, and being successful not being the car we drive.
Successful being, can I make change in my world? Do I have personal empowerment?
And And again, can I get my coordinates met at a baseline level?

(10:07):
And a threat to any of those through a life experience and interaction with
another human can lead to a traumatic encoding that our friend Amy the amygdala
then remembers for a very long time or for some of us forever to say,
hey, I'm going to use this data from this experience as a core part of how I
inform form my mind-body functioning going forward in order to ensure I stay

(10:31):
alive, as our brains got our back.
Its number one job is to keep us alive, and it draws upon threat states first
and foremost in order to keep us safe.
Yes. I love the way that you define trauma because I know in my past,
sometimes I have felt like my trauma just was so small compared to other people's.
And I think when you hear what other people have gone through,

(10:53):
at least growing up, I was kind of like, oh, well, I guess, I mean,
maybe I shouldn't feel this way about this because what they're going through is way worse.
And so I love that way that you defined it, that it's really dependent on you and how it affected you.
And I think that's so true and that we all just really have to stop minimizing
our trauma. One thousand percent, Victoria.
Thank you for saying that. And you're definitely not alone.

(11:14):
That's one of the most common things I hear. And I know I've experienced that myself.
And the truth of the matter is our brain doesn't necessarily differentiate.
Our brain tunes into those three core values and says, are these being threatened?
Because if they are, well, I may not survive. Yeah.
And bringing in those relational pieces are really, really important because

(11:36):
those get so often missed in trauma and people don't reflect on how relationships can be traumatic.
And we know they can be. Right. That is so true.
So what are some, I feel like you just mentioned one, but what are some common
misconceptions about trauma?
Oh, it has to be what they call a big T trauma, a serious threat to life where

(12:00):
you're anybody walking down the road, if you said, hey, this thing happened,
they would all go, yes, that was traumatic.
There is no societal consensus in our brain for what's traumatic,
except for what we shame ourselves about.
There's societal consensus for what we carry shame around, which is devastating.
I think one of the biggest issues is we don't, as you just said,

(12:20):
validate our own experiences. and having the opportunity to learn about the
brain and understand how our brain is conceptualizing these hard experiences
is key for breaking through the stigma.
And that is one of the biggest opportunities because people think about trauma
and they go, well, there's a checkbox of symptoms for what PTSD looks like.

(12:41):
Well, trauma can show up in so many different ways.
It can show up very similar to ADHD in terms of how it impacts or brain functioning.
It can show up like depression for many people.
It can show up like fibromyalgia, chronic pain or illness, ongoing inflammation or panic.
Traumatic experiences impact us in so many more ways than the societal concept of PTSD.

(13:06):
But if we're not aware of that, we usually turn around the criticism or the
self-doubt on ourselves, and that causes more distress, more disturbance,
and more pain in the long run.
Yes, I totally agree with you. And I I know you touched on a little bit about
relationships, but if you can give us more insight, how does trauma affect relationships
with one ourself is an important one, but also with other people?

(13:28):
Yeah. Oh gosh, Victoria, so many ways.
So many. So going back to the amygdala's core values, when we're born, we are so vulnerable.
We are so little and so reliant in on our caregivers.
And our caregivers lay out the template for what our brain learns about how

(13:49):
we stay alive in our day-to-day life.
Over the course of those learnings, as we grow up, those templates become literal
neural freeways embedded in our brain that say, this is how you stay alive.
This is how you're lovable and how you belong.
This is how you stay safe. This is
how you get get your core needs met or how you're successful

(14:09):
in life and it's different for all of us sure
there's different cultural norms but we really see the impact of this transgenerationally
when expectations priorities wounds are handed down from one generation to another
the self then becomes defined through those patterned frameworks and the brain
is literally being defined by them

(14:30):
And so one of the most easily accessible frameworks is the idea of people-pleasing.
That's a big one. Yeah, I'm a recovering people-pleaser myself.
And if we look at that from a neurobiological framework, the behavioral pattern
of people-pleasing began somewhere.
An infant isn't born to people-please. Right. An infant learns that.

(14:52):
And so often if we're taught that the world is safer, more balanced,
more even just neutral, if we're doing X, Y, Z in the case of people pleasing,
self-sacrificing, being parentified,
overly caretaking, so on and so forth, making sure that everybody else is happy
and the brain learns that's how I stay alive.

(15:14):
But the core foundation underneath that is if I don't people please,
I'm not safe. I'm not lovable. I don't belong.
And I can't make change in my world. So in your experience, like how,
just let's take people pleasing for the example.
What are some things that could cause someone to become a people pleaser? So many.
And when I say so many, it's just our brains are so beautifully complex and nuanced.

(15:39):
So I'll use a story that I share in my memoir. I had chronic pain and illness as a child.
And my mom was driving me somewhere to drop me off. And I was very, very, very sick.
I did not feel well that day. But I also knew she worked for a living to take
care of us. and she could tell I wasn't feeling that great.

(15:59):
And I'm about four or five years old and I say, hey, mom, I know my tummy hurts.
And I can see her face gets stressed.
We start checking in on facial cues as young as sometimes six, eight, 10 weeks old.
Well, and I remember her face tightens and she gets stressed because she's got
to go to work in order to do the things to make sure we're okay.

(16:20):
And my little five-year-old self went, oh, I'm fine, mom, I'm fine,
I'll be okay. And unfortunately, I got very, very, very, very sick.
And it's a very tender story that I share because it was a very severe sense
of body betrayal because, you know, bodies have big feelings when the tummies
don't feel well in a very public way for a child sometimes. And that's what happened to me.

(16:42):
The reason I'm sharing this specific story is it highlights the nuance of how
tender our brains can be sometimes to take in these larger concepts and for
our brain to go, wait, my mom's stressed.
I know she's got this thing to do. Now, of course, we don't have the contextual
layout as a child, but we know this person needs to go do this because if they

(17:03):
don't, something's wrong.
Our brains can figure that out as a child. And so instead, we can quiet ourselves.
Now, in a more extreme way,
there are situations where there's violence in the home and a child learns that
they have to be very cautious and very perfect and very non-disruptive in order

(17:23):
to ensure that the person who is dangerous is as best managed as possible.
And that management can then spill over into other relationships.
Other pattern behaviors, other connection points to say, this is how I know
how to be safe to the best of my ability in an out-of-control world.
In either situation, breaking those patterns for our little friend Amy the amygdala

(17:47):
can feel very scary, no matter how old we get. Yeah, I think that's a huge point to make.
And just speaking of childhood trauma, how does that impact our mental health
and our behavior as adults, like if we don't deal with it? You know,
for some of us, we can kind of cruise.
And I think about it as though our amygdala can carry a lot.

(18:14):
And unless there's something big enough that happens that, quote unquote,
breaks the proverbial amygdala's back, like the terrible analogy,
the straw that breaks the camel's back.
There may not be a what some would
say a really obvious repercussion or impact
although people in relationship with somebody who's been through

(18:34):
a lot of trauma might say you know you've got some patterns that really aren't
great or provide some difficult feedback at times as we know is also very real
yes all the way down to for some of us our childhood experiences can be core
defining defining features of how we show up in life,
impacting our ability to have safe,

(18:55):
intimate relationships, to take care of ourselves.
To even be present rather than relying on substances or alcohol in order to
manage our day-to-day lives or eat food or TV or whatever it might be.
So in massive ways, and if we don't
If we know something's off, that's an opportunity to get curious about what's happening.

(19:19):
But a lot of trauma survivors, Victoria, also dissociate from their mind-body system.
And so those data points of something's wrong, as Oprah says,
they're whispers. They will become roars.
Many, many people don't know that anything's even wrong until it is a roar.
And a roar could be serious addiction or it could be a very serious inflammatory disease.

(19:42):
Overseas wow i think that those are huge points to definitely
mention i know for me in some
aspects if like i continue to see
something continually coming up whether in friendships or dating relationships
kind of just pausing and questioning because sometimes it's easy to be like
no that's just you that's not me you know so i think pausing and saying huh
this has come up with multiple people so maybe i need to see like why that is

(20:06):
and the root cause i feel like just even
like small things like that can kind of help you tap in a little bit deeper
just to see what's going on within.
I know for me, when I started therapy, it's really eye-opening.
Like sometimes you don't realize how quote unquote little things that happen
when you're younger still stick with you.
It's like, oh wow, I didn't realize I remembered that one instance from when I was eight.

(20:29):
Like we probably need to dig into that since it's still so vivid.
Yeah. Well, and where did you learn and
the psychological safety of connecting inward because that
that's a skill it's not something we're innately born with
as humans yeah i think it came from the desire to want to be different than
like people that were like in my childhood like wanting to be different and

(20:51):
just like wanting to break certain cycles and just like i wanted that so bad
that i'm just like okay like i need to figure this out and do whatever i need
to do to get there i know my version.
We're just gonna shake up the ant farm because this this
is not working anymore be a cycle breaker exactly
forward yeah it's not easy to do it's a lot of work and it can be really intense

(21:13):
but i also think i don't know if everyone's like this but i'm like this but
it's like kind of easy to see like all the things at least in my experience
it was easy to see all the things that I didn't want and that I didn't like.
One, I was pretty vocal about them. When things would get really intense,
I would just be like spitfire vocal about it.

(21:33):
And so just I had to learn that the only person I can change is myself.
And then when you change yourself, that's when you can start breaking cycles
or setting boundaries so that you can like cultivate a healthier, more peaceful life.
Yeah. And that is a really hard one lesson. We are literally designed as humans to,
to look towards the outside world to tell us who we are. And as I just said,

(21:56):
the ability to look inward is a skill.
Resilience is a skill. Self-compassion is a skill.
Personal empowerment, these are skills. They're not innate to who we are.
And that becoming curious and saying, wait, I want something different.
And rather than running away from the pain, which is our brain's primary go-to,

(22:17):
our brain does not like pain.
And so our brain's very quick to just be like, peace out. I don't want pain. I don't like this.
Here's an easy button to not feel bad.
And so leaning into that is one of the most critical and important parts of the healing process.
And it's hard work. It is. And I love that you mentioned personal empowerment
because me and my friends have talked about it in terms of confidence.

(22:38):
And I know I've been asked like, what makes you so confident?
And I would always say, I don't know.
I've always been confident, But sometimes I wonder if like since I feel like
I had to build myself up and rely on myself like in that way,
if that was maybe when I was younger, maybe it was more of a defense mechanism.
Like, you know what? People are saying mean things. So I'm going to lift myself up.

(22:59):
And just that became so normal for me. That part of me is like,
oh, I wonder if that actually was part of it.
But I don't know that that's really natural for anybody. And strong work.
Right. I mean, what a wonderful defense mechanism. Like high five,
self. I gotta give myself all the things that I'm like wanting to,
you know, hear from other people.
And I think, obviously, you still have moments where you want to hear that,

(23:21):
especially like growing up throughout your life.
But I think once you realize like, you know what, I can lift myself up and no
one can take that away from me, I think, is where like your mindset starts to
shift, at least in my experience.
Yeah. And that's why I love the Phoenix journey. Yes, such a good one.
So how does trauma influence our mindset and belief system? Like we just talked

(23:45):
about the idea of how our brain is learning across the course of our lives,
trauma or not, how to be in the world.
And when we have traumatic experiences in particular, our brain has a specific
type of bias built into it called a negativity bias.
And our little friend Amy the amygdala is front and center with the negativity bias.

(24:08):
So she, especially in moments of chronic stress or traumatization,
is paying particular attention to the things that are causing us pain,
again, real or perceived, and learning from those experiences and then communicating
to the rest of our brain to say, this is who I need to be to be okay,
to be safe, to feel loved and to belong, and to be able to ensure that I can

(24:33):
in some way, shape or form, have an impact on the world around me.
Whether she's correct or not isn't a real thing because she's
little sidebar here, our amygdala has been around for over 300 million years. Wow.
Yeah, she hasn't really changed that much, but she's influencing all of our
other data processing in our brain and how our brain is making sense of the moment,

(24:56):
which is why it can feel so quote unquote crazy making when we've been through
really hard things and we're struggling to change our behaviors,
especially after having had traumatic experiences.
Our thinking brain may go, I don't want to do this. But our emotional brain
guided by our amygdala is going, I don't care what you're thinking. This is how we stay safe.

(25:19):
Wow. It's like really like a push-pull kind of thing. So I don't know if this
is true, but is it true that as humans, we tend to kind of remember the negative
things more than we remember the good?
Fully. Do you know why that is? Yeah. Because survival is way more important
than making sure that we are having a great life.

(25:40):
Our brain does not prioritize quality of life.
It prioritizes our ability to keep breathing, which is why that's the title
of my memoir, Keep Breathing.
Baseline, am I getting the number one job done?
And our amygdala is critical in all of that. So think back to 300 million years ago.
That's before the dinosaurs. dinosaurs so our primary brain part that's going

(26:04):
how do i stay alive predates the dinosaurs well it's not focused on making sure
that we're you know in a park being present and experiencing the flowers and
the sunshine she's going to be looking out for threat and if she's been.
Sculpted or trained over the course of our time to say there's a lot of threat
here that then creates what i call trauma glasses and it starts to filter our

(26:28):
experience of the world And again, it doesn't come out as trauma symptoms.
A lot of people have what's known as generalized anxiety, chronic sense of vigilance
and hyper-awareness of the environment.
The system's like, something's going to be wrong.
Something's going to be wrong. I don't know what it is, but something is going to be wrong.
And looking out for it in order to keep us safe is our brains fundamentally.

(26:49):
Got her back. Sometimes she just needs some help in learning that,
wait a minute, there's a different way. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
So can you, well, one, can you tell us a little bit about neuroplasticity and
then can you discuss the role of it in overcoming past traumas and changing our mindset? Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Neuroplasticity is one of my most favorite things in the entire world.

(27:10):
So neuroplasticity is the construct of our brain being able to learn and change
across the course of our lives.
So you mentioned you're in your 30s. So you probably had people in your world
who, well, or you were around before smartphones.
Yes, I was. Yeah. So you might have been post-pagers, but pre-smartphone.

(27:32):
Exactly. Yes. My first phone was like, I think, a regular flip phone.
There's no internet on it or anything.
Yeah, classic flip phone. Yeah. So your brain's ability to go from a flip phone
to now this magical computer we carry around in our pockets,
that's neuroplasticity in a nutshell.
The fact that we have all been able to evolve with technology.

(27:52):
Our brain's been able to learn and keep up with this.
And anytime we download a new app, our brain's learning a new way of being.
That's neuroplasticity. In the developmental journey of our brain,
our brain is utilizing a lot of neuroplasticity as a lot more malleable as we're
children to figure out how to survive in the world.
In trauma or in experiences of chronic stress, there's a specific,

(28:17):
and if I'm getting too geeky or if you want me to. No, because it's interesting.
And this is one of my favorite things about neuroplasticity because I feel like
it's very permission giving for us to know that our brain in hard moments has
a very specific type of neuroplasticity that is stress induced.
And it's even called stress induced structural plasticity. Good job,

(28:39):
science. You named it in a very accessible way. Okay.
When we have really hard, stressful, difficult things happen in our lives,
our brain lays down tracks like we were just talking about with the negativity
bias that then become the super freeways of our brain.
They win over all of our other previous learnings.

(29:00):
Stress and destructural plasticity wins over neuroplasticity because that's
threat-based learning. Now that's great if it's don't run in traffic or touch a hot stove.
It's not so good when it's certain facial expressions mean that I'm going to be hurt.
Or if I look a certain way, I will be bullied.

(29:21):
These are real things that our brain learns. The wonderful thing about our brain
is that it can learn new ways forward and we can actually heal stress-induced
structural plasticity now at a neurobiological level and help those neural freeways
shift and change in very powerful and exciting ways.
So when you mentioned the stress-induced structural plexicity,

(29:42):
I feel like, I can't even say it right.
But I feel like a light bulb went off because I think about some of my phobias.
I'm like, okay, I'm afraid of roaches.
And it's because I probably had a stressful moment when my brother scared me
with a fake roach. And then ever since then, I was just afraid of roaches.
I'm just like, oh, it all just kind of clicked and made sense for me there.

(30:03):
Well and we had we're born with certain threats in
our brain and creepy crawlies being one of them
where our wait so some people are already
born with that we all have certain innate threats that we're born with which
falling off of a cliff not a good idea creepy crawlies i call them the threats
that have killed enough of our species across the course of time that eventually

(30:27):
our brain's like, I'm going to remember that one.
It doesn't mean that it's acted out like a phobia, but usually to your beautiful case study,
a toy cockroach, something happens that brings that inherent threat to life
where our brain goes, okay, I'm scared of all of it now.
And that's how phobias actually begin.

(30:49):
Because they're from an innate threat that
our brain is originally trained to have as soon
as we're born because our brain's like nope we know that
that thing's bad yeah we're not going to do it that makes
a lot of sense oh that was so cool i'm glad you geeked out
on it so holding the space
for geekery yes so what are some
practical steps that we can take to help reframe our

(31:12):
negative patterns and belief system you know have you
ever tried to talk yourself out of well your phobia oh my
gosh yes when i'm forced to have to kill it because i'm the only one
there especially like when I lived alone I would
try to talk myself out of it then how'd that work not so well but I I came up
with very creative ways to kill it without getting too close okay so I think

(31:33):
maybe I did the opposite I just like made it work for me or anytime I've ever
conquered it it's because I was like you know what I'm not gonna think about it I'm just gonna do it.
Great. Perfect. So maybe made it worse, maybe not.
Strong work for your human ingenuity, right? Like, well-played brain.
Good job. You did the thing.

(31:53):
So it's really hard for us to talk ourselves out of stress-induced structural
plasticity frameworks.
The cognitions that say fundamentally, I'm in here, I mean, I just go through a laundry list.
I'm stupid. I'm not good enough. I'm ugly. I'm fat. I'm a failure.
I'm not valuable. I'm not loved. Those are all stress-induced structural plasticity frameworks.

(32:19):
And those are a lot of the core ones that take people into therapy to begin
with or lead to dissociative mechanisms like substance use, food,
TV, whatever it might be.
So the opportunity in partnering with our brain now through what we know is
to work both with our thinking brain, I am coming back to your question,
giving ourselves grace to recognize and self-compassion to say,

(32:44):
wait, if I can't talk myself out of this, it's because my brain believes that
this thought is going to keep me alive.
Life and have self-compassion around that rather than beat
ourselves up even more for continuing to get stuck in
the ruminating thought of i'm broken
i'm crazy i'm xyz just continue
the list it goes on forever yeah that self-compassion opens up the first door

(33:08):
and then we can bring in different tools to partner with our brain and our body
to bring our body and our neurobiology into it to help those thoughts soften or even heal.
And that's the new neuroscience of mental health and one of my biggest pieces
of passion and inspiration across the board. It's brain partnership.

(33:29):
I love that. Just thinking of that, that kind of makes me think like for the parents out there,
like when it comes to your child being fearful of something to kind of have
that grace and like help them understand that, you know, this is just like a
thought that just explaining it in the way that you explained it.
Because I think some parents can be a little bit harsh on kids about certain
fears, like, oh, why are you why are you scared of that?

(33:50):
And it's like, you know, instead of taking that more compassionate route,
I think that probably would help a lot more. Yeah. Well, and self-compassion invites curiosity.
Curiosity immediately shifts our brain out of anxiety or fear and into a state
of dopaminergic driven learning.
Oh, I'm curious about this. And so to your beautifully stated point,

(34:13):
when a parent can model curiosity in addition to the self-compassion,
that changes the brain states of both the parent and the child.
Win-win. Yeah, definitely.
I think that's really huge. And that could hopefully help some of these like
bug fears for when people are adults. They don't have, they're not as bad.
To the point of, you know, why are you scared of that?

(34:33):
Just pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Get out there and do it.
Like I come from a bootstrap family.
Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Just go do it. Ignore your fears,
which is fundamentally ignore your feelings, which means at its core, ignore yourself. self.
Not good. We need ourselves. We matter. Our brain really cares about us.
Exactly. Yeah. I think that's a huge point to make.

(34:55):
So I know you mentioned this a little bit earlier, but can you go into more
detail about how trauma can affect our bodies physically?
Oh, inflammation's huge. So when our brain goes into a state of vigilance or
guarded stress, anything like that. It's not just a brain thing.
Our brain and our body are a closed-loop system. They're chronically and constantly

(35:19):
communicating, and we need them to be unless something happens in our lives where our brain stops.
Learning how to communicate effectively with our body. That's dissociation.
Trauma can lead to chronic health conditions.
And all the way back in World War II days, before there was a diagnosis of PTSD,

(35:39):
World War I, original trauma veteran people who'd been through really horrible
things were not in a psychiatric ward.
They were in the cardiac ward because there wasn't a language around mental
health that was deeply internalized.
And instead, Instead, their body bore the brunt of what was happening,
and their cardiac concerns were through the roof.

(36:00):
And that's one of the top killers in the world is cardiac concerns.
So it bears a really huge impact.
Inflammation is a full mind-body experience from brain fog, muscle tension, muscle aches, fatigue.
I mean, just think about what happens when you get a little paper cut.
There's inflammation from a paper cut. Now imagine inflammation from a traumatic

(36:21):
experience and the brain being taught that the world is unsafe.
Wow. It's pretty profound. That is pretty wild when you put it like that.
So I know I mentioned some triggers earlier, but how can we identify and address
triggers related to our past traumas just to help us live a little bit easier in everyday life?
Yeah. So trauma reactions are our brain's response to a very helpful data point.

(36:46):
90% of this moment, 9-0-90, is defined by the experiences of our past. Wow.
The good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly.
So on the healing side, we can train our brain through neuroplasticity to harness
the good experiences of our past.
But in the stress and trauma side, that 90%, like we were just talking about,

(37:08):
Victoria, can create those trauma glasses that filter.
And a trauma reaction is our brain filtering the world through past experiences
where our life was threatened,
our sense of lovability, belonging, safety or security was threatened and saying,
I don't want to do that anymore.
I don't want that to happen again.

(37:30):
But our brain, our amygdala again is 300 million years old. It's not super good at differentiation.
So it sees a facial expression and says, I've seen that facial expression before.
Even if it's been 10 years since that facial expression resulted in somebody

(37:51):
harming us, we can still have a trauma reaction to an expression,
to a sensory data point, to a smell, to any of the five senses fundamentally.
Mentally, because our brain, once it's had...
And survived a trauma says, I've learned that. I'm keeping it in mind forever.
It's big opportunities, fundamentally.

(38:13):
A trauma reaction or a trauma trigger is an opportunity for healing.
It's our brain teaching us that there's something that it's perceiving in the
present environment that's dangerous, and now we have an opportunity to partner
with our brain to heal it.
I agree. I think that's important to mention because one, everyone,
their triggers and traumas, it's going to be different.
I know for me, for example, I cannot tolerate

(38:35):
someone yelling at me like we can have a tough conversation but
you don't need to yell at me you know and for me like that's a
trigger and then some people are just like oh well that's just
how i talk like i'm not mad but like for me that's a trigger so i
just i immediately shut down so even if their intention maybe is not bad but
just the fact that they're yelling i can't even i just can't yeah your amygdala

(38:56):
still struggles to separate out the fact that this person is not immediately
a threat and instead is focusing on the sensory data of how they're communicating communicating.
Yeah. So I feel like that kind of all just for me, it like clicked.
It's like, okay, well, this makes sense because I'm just like,
I don't know why I'm shutting down. And you can't tell me not to shut down.
I'm shutting down, you know? Right.
And so often, unfortunately, somebody will say that, like, hey,

(39:19):
what's wrong with you? Why are you shutting down?
Which then heightens in the present day, the trauma response.
And in some cases actually will now bring in another layer of the trauma filter.
Yeah. So it's not safe for me to do my coping skill. and so I'm going to find
a different coping skill or just remove that person from my life.
Exactly, yeah. Because they cannot communicate or exist or be in a way that

(39:43):
feels safe to our sweet 300 million year old amygdala because she's just trying to keep us safe.
Yeah, and I do think a lot of times it likely does end up with just removing
that person if they can't get it and you're still struggling.
So in those situations, what advice would you give for say it's a couple or
friendships? Like, how could people kind of work around that?

(40:03):
I really want to highlight that boundaries matter.
Yes. It is so important to have self-awareness around, okay,
am I having a trauma reaction to an experience tied to my past?
Or is this person legitimately behaving in a way that is not safe for the world

(40:24):
or preferable, preferable matters, for the world I want to live in?
And to get curious and explore that, as you mentioned a little bit ago about
looking at those behavioral patterns within oneself and going,
ah, what is this about that self-reflection and the curiosity?
And also recognizing that there are times where there are people who have certain

(40:46):
behavioral patterns where we go, I really want this person in my life.
And this is just a part of who they are and why.
Something inside me now has an opportunity to do some growth work or some strengthening
or some changing because everything else about this person is really good.
But this one way that they behave, that's not legitimately threatening,
dangerous, harmful, illegal, and just go through the laundry list of reasons

(41:09):
to not have somebody in your life.
Yes. But that's an amygdala moment where we go, huh, how do I partner with my
amygdala now to help heal myself?
And we can, which is awesome. I think that is important.
And I think also when it comes to like relationships in general,
like if you communicate your triggers,
hopefully, as long as you're not triggered by everything, that person can understand

(41:32):
and do their best to respect your boundary or just like things that you need to feel safe.
Of course, like we have to own our own triggers and kind of determine like,
is this something maybe I just need to work on more?
For me personally, I don't want anyone raising their voice at me.
So that's probably going to be more of a boundary.
But I think for other examples, I think it's really important to address those. Yeah, absolutely.

(41:55):
Well, and it's interesting that you chose that example is my husband sometimes
will elevate his voice when he's really excited about something or if he's in,
he has his own auditory considerations.
And so we have a way of communicating now where I'll just look at him and I'll
just go, put my hand down a little bit.
So for anybody who's not watching the video recording, it's just,

(42:18):
I'll just kind of lower my hand like that. And I'm also a highly sensitive person,
so my nervous system is more attuned.
And so I would reckon that 90% of our friends would not feel like he is speaking in an elevated tone.
But for my nervous system, it can feel really shaky for me because my brain's
like, and I also have a strong trauma history. That's huge to appreciate.

(42:41):
Point out, actually, I never thought about people who raise their voice in excitement, too.
Yeah. And to your point, though, it's about our psychological safety.
Full, healthy communication about, hey, this is what I need.
Or like I just described with my husband, having a symbol that just says, hey, we're okay.
We can bring it down a notch because my brain and my nervous systems are starting

(43:05):
to get a little agitated right now.
And the two of us having a relationship that says that communication strategy
is successful and healthy and works for us and it's a partnership.
Yes, I love that. So can you share your thoughts on the role of forgiveness
when it comes to trauma and recovery?
Because at least I know for some of the healing I had to do,

(43:27):
there were just some things that I realized I was never going to get an apology for.
So I had to kind of figure out like, okay, well, how can I forgive knowing that
I'm never going to get this apology that I personally feel like I should be given?
Well, and I'm curious where the role of you recognizing that forgiveness was
important came from, because that's also such a critical part here, right?

(43:50):
Yes. So I will say I grew up in the church, so that's always been something
I've known, but I'm not going to say just because I grew up in the church,
I can't say that I was really big on forgiveness.
I think what changed for me was just being in therapy.
And then my therapist just helped me realize like, hey, you are not in this
direct way, but you are holding on to something while this other person is out

(44:11):
there with no care in the world,
living their life, but yet you're being affected and you're letting them have
a hold on you for something that like was not your fault.
So it's like, you have to decide, like, do you want to give that person that level of power?
Or do you kind of want to figure out how you can give forgiveness without out
ever getting an apology.
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you. So beautifully and perfectly

(44:34):
stated and so deeply real.
Resentment is so toxic. It eats us up and it feeds so many other fires tied
to stress and trauma and really can disconnect us from ourselves.
And I know my own version of this.
There are a lot of apologies or behavioral changes that we would love to see

(44:57):
in other people or receive from other people that they're simply not capable
of doing, interested in doing.
Yeah and that leaves a lot of burden at
our doorstep emotionally say what do
i want to do with the fact that this harm has happened that
this very real wound occurred and so often when it comes to forgiveness the

(45:17):
wounds that linger are really big yes they're really big things the small things
but the big ones they fester they can change the course of our lives so often
And so forgiveness can feel like a big ask. I totally agree.
And I think also just realizing that the forgiveness is for you,
not for the other person.
Exactly. And that forgiveness doesn't mean that we're not still learning from it.

(45:45):
So often, one of the things I hear, and I struggled with this originally myself
until I had my first amazing psychologist.
Many, many, many, many, many, many moons ago, who pointed out that you can release
the person from the resentment or the even, I think sometimes this is more dangerous,
Victoria, the hope that somebody might apologize.

(46:06):
And there are some perpetrators in my life where it took me up until even two
years ago where my brain was finally like, oh, no, this is a lost cause. Yeah. That hope.
So it's not just resentment. It can also be this experience,
this desire, this deeply rooted want, especially for family members or people
we love. Yes. Deeply there.

(46:26):
Long-term friendships for us to say, why?
But maybe this time. And that can be part of the hook that we just keep going
back to. And forgiveness gives us the ability to say, I see them in their humanity.
I see that they are not capable of changing.
And then there's a freedom to say, do I want to keep them in my life with this
very clear cut data and very strong boundaries given that they're incapable?

(46:51):
Or do I now give myself the permission to release that person from my life?
I think that's so powerful.
And as you mentioned, family can be the hardest.
And I know a lot of people just feel like,
they have to accept things in the name of family. So I like the way that you
just put that just like really taking that factual evidence and making that decision.

(47:13):
But I hope more people feel empowered to do like what's best because in most
cases it's been so many years and you've tried and tried and had that hope.
And so, yeah, it's tough though.
It is tough. Well, and it's the The belief comes from so many different directions.
You know, blood is thicker than water. I mean, let's just start there.

(47:35):
How many different through lines of indoctrination do we have that teach us
that no matter what, we are loyal to our family and we stay connected to our family no matter what?
And even to say, hey, my family member is the one who is causing me pain.
The person who gets punished is the person who says, this family member is causing

(47:58):
me pain, often within the family system.
The victim shaming, the victim isolation, the victim disconnect.
And I don't like the word victim. So then that turns into the survivor space on the other side of it.
But in the moment, the family system says, how dare you hurt us by telling people
that a member of our family is hurting you? Mm-hmm. That is hard.

(48:21):
That's really hard because you're right. Usually the survivor is the one who's
like, you just need to get over it after a certain point because they don't want to deal with it.
But it's not their, like, you know, it wasn't their pain. So they just lack
that empathy that's needed.
So it's all really challenging. Yeah. Or they've been indoctrinated as well. True.
Transgenerational pattern. That is true. But yes, those sayings,
there's so many about like you said, was blood thicker than water?

(48:43):
But I feel like there's another big one, but I'm blanking right now.
But there are a lot of those kind of sayings and it's kind of like,
oh, keep it in the family kind of thing. Oh, exactly.
So are there any specific mindfulness or meditation practices that you recommend
for people who are overcoming trauma? My favorite is...
Is Creating Personal Resilience for the Amygdala Exercise, which draws on a

(49:06):
newer modality that's been coming into the world in about the last 20-odd years
called self-havening as an intervention to partner with the brain.
And my first book actually is an entire self-healing guidebook for anybody who
wants to go on a self-healing journey through the lens of neuroplasticity and
partner with the or amygdala.
This particular intervention is very simple to do.

(49:30):
It harnesses our brain's desire to have something to focus on.
And so often when we're in a state of a trauma reaction or when we're anxious,
we find our brain will ruminate.
That means it's basically telling all the worst case scenarios about what might possibly happen.
Or if any of our listeners or Victoria, you can tell me yourself?

(49:52):
Have you ever found yourself having an internal debate about a way a conversation
should have gone and have difficulty shutting that internal debate down? Oh my gosh, yes.
So sometimes if it's especially going to be a more tough conversation,
I'll have a whole thing beforehand about like scenarios of how they could either go great or bad.
And then afterwards it's replaying like, oh dang it, like why didn't I mention

(50:13):
this? Or maybe I could have said this differently. But yeah, I do that.
Yeah, that's our amygdala. We all do it. We have a part of our brain called
the working memory system, which we lovingly refer to as the Google search of our brain.
And basically, just as in a Google search engine, whenever we want to look something
up, we plug in a couple keywords.

(50:33):
And then we have a little drop down that says, here's all the related data points
to your search items. Our brain does that too.
And it does it on hyperspeed when it comes to anything related to stress,
anxiety, trauma, our core values of the amygdala in a survival-focused way.
And that's what rumination is. I call them the worst-case stories of doom that

(50:55):
our amygdala loves to tell.
And so the CPR for the amygdala exercise uses distractions, which is a classic
cognitive behavioral therapy technique, to give the Google memory search a different
job while applying mindful touch.
So rubbing your palms together, and I'll say why this matters,
as though you're washing your hand under warm water, or giving yourself a moving hug.

(51:18):
So placing your fingertips on
your shoulders and gently moving your hands down your arms to your elbow.
It's like a nice, gentle, soothing hug. Or if you've ever had a stress headache,
rubbing your fingertips across right
above your eyebrows or circling your cheekbones underneath your eyes.
These four movements actually change the way our brain is processing information in the moment.

(51:41):
Most importantly, when we're in a state of a trauma reaction.
Our brain goes into a very fast brainwave state.
Have you ever felt that? Does that just mean like you're thinking really fast
or you're like... Yeah. Or like for me, my body feels electric.
When I have a trauma response, my body feels like it clenches and I'm just like, I am electric.

(52:02):
And I cannot think frequently when I am having a trauma response.
My entire brain goes into an amygdala freeze response or what we call the amygdala hijack.
It can be a little different depending on the scenario. Mario.
Is it like the flight or what is it? Flight or fight? No, like freezer.
Yeah. Okay. Yes, there you go. Yeah.
Or even that automatic sense of self-sacrificing for people pleasing.

(52:23):
Our brain experiences a threat and says, I need to self-sacrifice.
So for any of us who've ever said yes, when we know we should have said no, same thing.
And then oftentimes in those situations, we beat ourselves up afterwards.
We knew better. Yep. Same thing. That does happen. And so the CPR PR for the
amygdala protocol gives our brain a different job in any of those moments.

(52:45):
We apply mindful touch, play brain games, and the mindful touchdown regulates our brain.
And because our amygdala is activated into some sort of threat response,
as we downregulate the brain, and this is what's really cool,
it's actually proactively healing what are called their empire receptors.
I'm not going to get into the super geekery of it, but these little receptors that we've been

(53:08):
talking about where our brain learned that something scary or going
to harm us or we need to engage in fight
flight freeze or fawn or shut down to the
point of your experience with yelling and it makes it less likely that we'll
have that response in the future because it's deactivating those little encoded
neurons that the brain learned about no matter how many years before literally

(53:29):
called healing in your hands that is so interesting i've never heard of that
but i think that is a really good tool to use. Oh, it's amazing.
It's amazing. Adding that to my toolbox for sure.
So how does resilience play into trauma recovery?
Resilience is a skill set. When our brain is in survival, keep us alive mode,
a good way to think about it is our brain thinks that is resilience.

(53:52):
That's how we stay alive. That is the way to exist.
And our brain is saying, hey, hey, high five, I'm being resilient through being
hypervigilant, having trauma responses, anxiety, even depression.
Our amygdala is saying that is my resilient way of staying alive.
So through neuroplasticity, the opportunity is to build a new way forward with

(54:12):
intention, to learn the skills of resilience, to intentionally partner with
our brains, to build the neural freeways we want more of.
So I'm assuming some of us have like, I guess, natural resilience skills,
tendencies. Because when you just mentioned those, I was like,
oh, I wonder, I think mine might be hypervigilance.
It's definitely one in different aspects of my life. So it's kind of interesting.

(54:35):
But what are some effective strategies for building resilience in order to overcome
challenges or these kind of triggers?
One of my favorites is, we already mentioned a little bit, in a moment of a
trauma reaction or a trauma trigger is to look at that experience as an opportunity.
Say, hey, my brain is reacting because it's saying this is how I stay alive.

(54:59):
Okay, cool. High five. We do a lot of brain high-fiving as we're doing trauma work.
And then hopefully applying that CPR for the amygdala exercise to boost the
resilience automatically.
And for any of your listeners who want to learn more, there's a huge playlist
on my YouTube channel, Dr.
Kate Truitt. Go learn how to do it. After helping the system calm down,
we can start to redirect our brain and say, how would I like to feel instead?

(55:23):
Because here's the thing about life. It keeps happening. Hopefully,
if our brain's doing its number one job, life keeps happening.
And that means that there will likely be a time where our brain is exposed to
a similar stimulus in the future.
And so we can start to sculpt our brain to say, how would we like to feel instead?
And so in terms of kind of technology talk, this would be our brain's version

(55:46):
of saying, I'm going to download a new app and learn how to use this app.
We're doing that for a felt state experience of our emotions or our thoughts,
something we'd like more of. And we're doing it with intention.
I like that. So we have a couple of free exercises on my drkatetruitt.com website
that people can download to practice this or of course, and Healing in Your Hands.

(56:07):
It's an entire program for how to do it. But the idea is.
Or a really good framework for it is anxiety and excitement,
Victoria, are very electrochemically the same.
What's the difference? Well, now that you mention it, I feel like they kind
of feel the same like the body-wise, but I think it's more just,
I guess, you're more panicky about one? The mind, yeah.

(56:29):
Yeah, the way we think about it. Yeah. And so we can train our brain to start
to have a different relationship with a lot of the trauma responses,
which is building towards resilience and saying, wait a minute,
what if rather than when my heartbeat goes faster,
that means I'm having a trauma reaction or having a panic attack,
it means I'm excited about something. thing.

(56:50):
Or if my heart beat starts going a little faster, I can connect to the fact,
oh, I just walked up three flights of stairs.
Yeah. And at least stay grounded in the present moment rather than being hijacked.
We implant the neural seeds and grow our brain in the direction we want it to go.
And that's another protocol that we use and teach here called the creating possibilities

(57:11):
protocol, creating new ways of being in the world.
I think that's really cool. Cool. I like that. And you said you have a download
for this on your website, you said. Yeah.
DrKateTruitt.com or if you go to my YouTube channel, I'm exceptionally sure
where there's all sorts of different exercises and educational videos that will
teach any of your listeners how to do this.

(57:33):
Yeah, I'll definitely make sure to link it in the show notes.
What are some common coping mechanisms that may be harmful?
I feel like we talked about a few that may be harmful long-term?
And how can someone transition to healthier coping mechanisms?
We have mentioned quite a few. Substance use, sex, food, binge-watching, anything.
And there's so many different ones that I call them the easy buttons for our

(57:57):
brain, where our brain has lower and lower tolerance for distress or disturbance.
And largely that's because our amygdala is upping the ante on that trauma filter
and saying, all of these things are now overwhelming.
All of these things are now scary or threatening to me.
And the more of that we have and the more that we're living within,

(58:18):
the more our brain is saying, I need a way to disconnect or dissociate.
And so those coping skills come in many different shapes, forms, and sizes.
And the main question is, is whatever you're doing getting in the way of you living your life?
And if it is, it's an opportunity to get curious about what you're disconnecting
from. Or is that an important word? Curiosity.

(58:39):
That's the gateway. Rather than shaming, becoming curious. That is the opportunity.
Let's be curious. What is happening? So often when we engage in a behavior that
fundamentally our brain saying, do this thing very fast, remember 300 million
year old amygdala is running the show.
So if Amy's saying, go do this thing that our thinking brain goes, don't do it.

(59:01):
We know it hurts, but our emotional brain's going, I don't care.
Being in this moment hurts.
I need a way out. So often we'll fall into shame.
And instead it's giving that shame a very different job and getting curious
and saying, how come? What was happening?
What's going on? Yes, I think that's huge.
And I think sometimes getting to the point where you can in the moment ask yourself that question.

(59:24):
But I also know that sometimes it might just take some time before you get there.
And I know people like to say sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you
can get there, which can be scary.
But I do think you have to be at a point where you're ready to get there. Yeah.
Well, and the curiosity can become a supportive way to help us shift more readily into being ready.

(59:48):
It's not shame-induced then. We're not running away or trying to stop the pain.
We're going, interesting.
That was interesting that I drank three bottles of whiskey last night.
Hmm. Yes. Not something I did last night.
I would not be sitting here talking to you if I had.
You know, it's just interesting. And that space of nonjudgmental awareness of

(01:00:14):
just being like, okay, brain, and that's why I love neuroscience.
It's not, it just takes it outside of ourselves and says, hey,
brain, or hey, Amy, what's going on here?
Why did I punch that wall? Or why did I have sex with that person?
Why did I X, Y, Z? I can think of a million different things that have come
into my office, even in the past several weeks. Yeah, it's an important question. Why?

(01:00:38):
It's critical. It's a big one. I love it. So what advice would you give to someone
who feels stuck in their healing journey?
Get curious about the feeling of being stuck.
I like that. Do you have like any questions that you recommend for someone who
is feeling stuck to like kind of get the wheels turning? I know we talked about why, but.
Yeah. So we can feel stuck in our bodies.

(01:01:00):
We can feel stuck in our thoughts.
There's a beautiful framework that is the case for something.
So case stands for cognition, autonomic, somatosensory, and emotions.
And in my books, I talk a lot about the case for self. And the case for self
is how are those four elements are showing up in any given moment.

(01:01:20):
And so if we're feeling stuck, that is a case.
Our thoughts, our autonomic nervous system, our somatosensory,
our interception, our body, as well as our emotions are all tying into this framework. work.
And that's a great through line of saying, and just writing that out, C-A-S-E.
I'm feeling stuck. What am I noticing? What am I thinking? What are my most

(01:01:41):
common thoughts right now?
What is the data in my body? What is my heart rate? What is my blood pressure?
What is my muscle tension? What is my intuition telling me?
Somatosensory? My interoception? Are there data points that I'm missing that
my body's carrying for me?
Our body is very symbolic at bad times. So I'll ask somebody,

(01:02:02):
you know, they have a lot of muscle tension. I'll say, what does that feel like in your body?
And they're like, oh, it just feels like I have an anvil on my shoulders.
It's like, okay, that's part of the S, the somatosensory. Just write that down.
Give a voice to that. And then what emotions are coming up?
Stuck is a very strong, concrete word that when we break it down to all of these other elements,

(01:02:26):
even choosing to do something with one of those elements or seeing if we can
choose one element to focus on and create change can shift the entire framework.
I like that. And I feel like just breaking it down like that,
it helps you kind of gives an idea of what you should...
Become aware of if you're not already aware of it especially I know
we talked about this but like just we can hold trauma in
our body so just the things that you mentioned and I know even

(01:02:48):
for me sometimes like I feel like I hold it
in my hips and my shoulders I feel like like my shoulders get so tense and then
my hips feel a little bit tighter I think which is a very interesting one that
I had to learn but I hear a lot I don't know if it's just women or a lot of
people like can hold trauma in their hips oh yeah well and that's you know as
you were saying that there's a lot of really wonderful,

(01:03:10):
I would say specific on Instagram practitioners who are trauma-informed yoga
teachers as well as mental health specialists.
And they teach a lot of movement work.
And so even just safely with a guide, getting down on the floor and moving around
and getting to know how your body is holding this information can be so healing
in and of itself. Our body does hold data. That's an irrefutable fact.

(01:03:34):
And our little friend Amy the amygdala plays a critical role in holding on to that information.
And I've worked with a lot of clients and I used to have this myself with something
called relaxation-induced anxiety, where feeling relaxed or calm feels dangerous.
Dangerous that can feel pretty unsettling for people who are trying to do mindfulness

(01:03:57):
work or trying to do yoga but end up struggling or trying to do breath work particularly.
And find that their stress or their anxiety or their trauma reactions go through
the roof when they're actually trying to partner with and calm their mind body
system the body does hold on to these things yeah i definitely had to learn

(01:04:18):
that that it's not because i do go to therapy but i I had to realize that also
like body work and like you mentioned,
like doing the guided poses with someone who is trained in that can also really
help in your healing process. It doesn't have to be linear.
There can be a lot of different things that can get you to the point that you
want to be at. So I think that's huge to mention.

(01:04:39):
Yeah. And trauma-informed, that's the main thing. For anybody who survived trauma,
really be specific about working with trauma-informed practitioners.
That's critical. It's a very different process. Thank you for highlighting that.
So I want to ask you, what message of hope or encouragement would you like to
leave with us today for anyone who is currently struggling?

(01:05:01):
Be gentle and be tender. Love your sweet little brain, especially your amygdala. She's got your back.
And even in the moments where it hurts, when it's hard, when it's confusing,
that does become the opportunity to lean in and become curious about how your
brain might have learned to keep you safe in some way in the past that's not working for you now.

(01:05:22):
And in the interim, because I recognize that's easier said than done,
that's where that CPR for the amygdala work,
that's where the creating possibilities, that's where we can really partner
with our mind-body system with intention to create the change we'd like to see
in ourselves and fundamentally the butterfly effect in the world.
Yes. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for coming on, Dr. K.

(01:05:44):
I want you to tell us about your book because I feel like I've learned so much
just in this podcast episode.
So I want you to tell us about your book, where we can get it,
and how we can follow you to learn more about your work.
So I have two books. My most recent book is a memoir.
It uses my own story of traumatic loss and just kind of follows me along from childhood up to today.

(01:06:06):
But I was widowed unexpectedly when I was 29 a week before my wedding.
And so it opens up with that deep loss and trauma.
I'm using my story as a way through the looking glass to help people understand
the ways our brain can behave in really harmful, deeply scary, and very painful ways.

(01:06:26):
And so in a way, it's very much me as the expert saying,
here's everything I know, oh, and here's everything I've lived,
and let's bring those things together to create a space where there is no shame,
where it's simply humans being humans and brains being brains.
My first book is a healing journey, and it's called Healing in Your Hands.

(01:06:49):
The memoir is called Keep Breathing, and the first book is a beautiful companion
for the memoir, which is why we put it out first, and it's a neuroplastic healing program.
It brings together a large variety of different healing practices,
such as somatic work, polyvagal.
Havening, which we talked a little bit about today, narrative therapy,

(01:07:11):
cognitive behavioral therapy and a through line to teach people how to partner
with their brain and curate their own long-term healing process.
And the way I wrote that book is basically to say, hey, I'm your psychologist in your pocket.
Come walk with me and we'll partner together in your journey.
And so those are my books. I love them.

(01:07:32):
They're very tender and near and dear to me. And then, of course,
I'm on social media and all the classics and specific to the exercises we've talked about today.
The YouTube channel has a lot of, I think over three, four, 500 different videos,
but guided exercises, educational videos.
And of course you can find me on Instagram and TikTok and Facebook and all the things.

(01:07:55):
And I have the Truett Institute where we run workshops on how to do your own
self-healing work and teach all about neuroplasticity and going deeper in really
beautiful ways at a global level as therapy is a privilege and mental health
is a human right. So how do we make that real?
I love that. You're doing such impactful and powerful work. So I love that I

(01:08:16):
got to have you. Oh, thank you.
I love that I got to have you on the podcast. And I will link your socials and
your websites and everything in the show notes.
So again, thank you so much. Thank you. It's a joy.
Thank you all for tuning into this week's episode. If you really loved the episode
and you felt like it resonated with you, be sure to share the love and share

(01:08:38):
the episode with a friend.
Also if you could take a minute and head to the review section wherever you
listen to your podcast and leave me a review letting me know what you're loving
about these episodes and which topics you want to hear next that way i can make
sure that i continue creating episodes that you love also make sure you hit
the subscribe button so that you don't miss an episode until next week bye.
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