November 5, 2024 • 35 mins
Join Kiss and Jess as they discuss handling the challenges of parenting, like pushing their kids to stay in sports and extracurricular activities. They also touch upon the importance of teamwork, the cost of sports, and finding the right balance between encouragement and pressure. Tune in for a heartfelt and humorous conversation about life's daily struggles and triumphs.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kissie (00:03):
It's Kiss
Jessica (00:05):
and Jess.
Hopefully we sound better.
Kissie (00:09):
For real, yo, all these warnings on this new platform.
Jessica (00:13):
I know, oh my god.
Whoa, here's another one.
Kissie (00:15):
What?
You got another notice?
Jessica (00:18):
Yeah.
Kissie (00:18):
Oh, what did it tell you?
Did it tell you backgroundnoise?
Jessica (00:21):
Quality check.
Kissie (00:23):
I didn't even read it.
I just X'd them all out.
I'm like, I don't have time toread this.
This is happening.
Jessica (00:29):
We are trying.
We are trying new things.
We are trying to.
New
Kissie (00:35):
technology now that we're in a completely different
time zone Literally,
Jessica (00:43):
yeah, I
Kissie (00:43):
love the word literally Literally Thing I literally
literally just told Peter youbetter not be sending voice
messages Because it's our turnIf you hear any water in the
background, we are still in ourliving spaces because we don't
(01:05):
have no monies for no podcast,renting podcast places.
You imagine if we like gotthere.
You got a
Jessica (01:11):
studio?
I just made it to the studio.
Kissie (01:16):
Where's the studio?
My unfinished basement.
Where's your studio?
My car.
Jessica (01:22):
Or maybe a WeWork office.
Maybe we could step up the game.
Kissie (01:26):
I mean, Jessica, with our 7.
5 followers.
7.
5.
Jessica (01:33):
Which I mean, hey, I had three of our followers reach
out to me about us starting.
Kissie (01:39):
Yeah,
Kissie (2) (01:40):
yes same.
I had some of my girlfriendsfrom here oh my gosh couldn't
wait to listen Oh my gosh, thiswas like I missed it on my drive
in the morning and I had friendsthis weekend Tell me how proud
they are of you for like
Kissie (01:53):
just having up and moved like they're like man I wish I
could do the same like I knowwith this.
I know I hear that You
Jessica (02:01):
I got the same message when I moved out to Jersey, so I
guess I'm just crazy.
Kissie (02:06):
Yeah, but your move to Jersey was for different
reasons.
This move to Cali is for you, sothat
Jessica (02:12):
This is true.
Kissie (02:13):
Yeah.
This is true.
And I wasn't by
Jessica (02:15):
myself.
This time, I'm totally bymyself, so
Kissie (02:18):
You're by yourself with 1 person.
Jessica (02:21):
Yeah.
Kissie (02:22):
We're gonna Yeah.
He's a 1.
Just because, he's not an adultyet.
Not
Jessica (02:27):
quite.
He's
Kissie (02:27):
I said 5.
Whoa.
So the other day I was talkingto a friend and I was trying to
explain like this laundrymethod, a way of doing laundry,
and I was like, yeah, it cutsyour time in half by 80%.
And she's I don't know if youcan cut it in half by 80.
I'm like, yo, my mom brain.
All right.
What I meant to say is it cutsyour laundry time, like by 80
(02:49):
percent of what you had before,but just in half by 80, just
sounded so good.
Okay.
Jessica (02:55):
So what is it?
Kissie (02:56):
It's 80 percent less.
Like you're wasting 80 percentless time doing it.
Jessica (03:01):
Sounds like there's a tea kettle going off.
You hear it?
Kissie (03:04):
That's what it is.
Is it?
In a living.
Yes.
Peter likes to let it likemarinate for a very long time.
Kissie (3) (03:11):
Whistle.
Whistle.
Why would you say that?
Wow.
Because it's.
That sounds so
Jessica (03:24):
Stop.
Kissie (3) (03:31):
It's horrible.
I guess that's a good way ofteaching the spelling of the
word.
Oh no, but the kids will walkaround did you hear the hueso?
I can't pronounce it.
Oh my
Jessica (03:41):
gosh, please.
You look really pretty today.
Why do you have so much makeupon?
Yes this is my church makeup.
I've been wearing it since 18.
Not saying makeup makes peoplepretty.
Kissie (03:55):
I don't care.
We talked about this.
Kissie (2) (03:56):
We said that when we would podcast that we would like
make, sure that our appearance,but our first episode back was a
rough one.
I didn't wash my hair.
I didn't have anything on.
Kissie (04:07):
But yeah, this is my church makeup from this morning.
And I was like, yeah, we'rerecording and I am now taking
this off.
And look, a little goes a longway.
Jessica (04:15):
It says, but what do you have a little blush?
So I have on I wish I had myproducts in front of me I have
on a little bit of eye correctorBy the way, sorry go to youtube
if you want to see this.
Okay.
Kissie (04:28):
Yeah a little eye corrector and I did put on a
little bit of foundation just inthis area And I used
Jessica (04:36):
a light, light eye shadow.
I did pencil in the brows alittle bit,
Kissie (04:40):
but as you can tell, do you see that little lift that's
clearly, eight 30.
So let's just bring you backdown.
Nope.
Cause it's gelled on.
Cause I have to use eyebrow
Jessica (04:49):
gel because I have curly eyebrows, so I have to gel
it and then just light eyeliner.
And that's about it.
And I did
Kissie (04:58):
a little lip gloss.
To, accentuate my dry lips.
Love it.
It looks great.
Did you get a new couch?
Oh my gosh, we did.
We did! Jess, look! A new couch!And it has recliners.
We are moving on up, baby girl.
Jessica (05:19):
Oh, Alex from Love Is Line would not like that.
Kissie (05:23):
I know she wouldn't.
I was like, yo, that, listen.
Who doesn't want a
Jessica (05:28):
recliner?
Recliner.
That's funny
Kissie (05:30):
because the recliner is on both ends.
So it's like Peter and I, it'sso funny.
It's we're so far from eachother.
It's like recliners on our bothends, but it's nice because
there's space in the middle forall three kids.
I was literally just scratchingmy tush right now.
Wow.
I had a little itch, but yeah,but we have the nugget.
(05:50):
So like we can bring that over.
I wanted one of those sofas thatnow like converts into We're
like you could pull out the,it's not like a sleeper, but you
could pull out like the footrestfrom underneath where you could,
it'll look like a huge bedalmost, but they didn't have the
specific style we want.
We wanted a four seater.
(06:12):
With that option.
And most of them were likesectionals, but the sectional
was too big for our space.
So there's just a lot of thoughtprocess.
Nice.
But we like it and it opens upthe space, which is really nice
because, there's three of themnow.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we need the space.
But yeah, I cut my hair thisweek and postpartum has left the
(06:34):
top of my hair very straight.
I no longer get curls up here,which has been really rough for
me.
So I tried having long curls,and then I was like, yo, this
ain't it.
So I had to go back and re cutit.
Jessica (06:46):
Oh, it looks nice.
Looks good.
I had my paddling practicetoday.
Kissie (06:55):
I need to not call it that.
I was trying to tell the girlsthis weekend I wanted to tell
them Yeah, she joined a surfingclub.
I'm like, yes, you can't lie.
She joined a paddling
Jessica (07:03):
club! Yeah, it's called paddling when you go paddling,
but it's on a big ass canoe, soThere's, it was, there's a lot
of waves today.
It was nice to go out.
Yeah, and you're like going onthe waves.
It's fun.
Kissie (07:18):
And this is on the beach.
Jessica (07:20):
On the ocean.
Yeah,
Kissie (07:21):
on the ocean, in the ocean.
Which ocean is it, Jess?
Which ocean?
Jessica (07:25):
The Pacific, baby!
Kissie (07:26):
OMG.
Jessica (07:30):
So exciting for you, I remember that because when I
used to teach third grade, myfriend, teachers, and I, we
would always make songs to like,remember things, and one of them
wrote a song for the oceans.
And I remember it because wewould point at the map as we
would sing it.
(07:50):
And it was Pacific, Atlantic,the Arctic and Indian bum, bum,
bee dum bum, bee dum, bum.
Kissie (07:57):
If that doesn't catch.
Jessica (08:00):
Yup.
Yup.
Kissie (08:02):
Thank you for that reminder.
Anyway.
Jessica (08:04):
Yeah.
Kissie (08:05):
We have spent eight minutes talking nonsense though.
Jessica (08:08):
We have.
I was talking to Kai a littlebit ago and he was talking about
like basketball and thingsbecause he actually decided not
to play basketball his senioryear.
And we were talking about howKaylea didn't continue to play
soccer in college, which kind ofupset me a little bit as well.
(08:30):
And then Kameryn just recentlydecided he did not want to play
baseball anymore.
And
Kai had told me, he was like, I wished that when I was
younger, that you would havepushed me more to do some sports
more or and so it like made methink and I'm like, huh.
(08:52):
So I feel like I have aconfession that I regret, but
also feel like I might still bepart doing it is like not
forcing my kids.
I don't know.
Forcing is the right word tostay in sports or afterschool
activities enough.
I don't know.
Sometimes I'm let's talk aboutKameryn.
(09:13):
So Kameryn all of a sudden justdoesn't want to play anymore.
Kissie (09:16):
mmm hmm
Jessica (09:17):
so like I tried to ask him like why and asking
questions and push a little bit,but he just.
He just is I'm just, I don'twant to play anymore.
I don't like it anymore.
So I'm like, okay, all right.
And then, but then I was like weneed to do something else.
But also should I be pushingmore?
I don't know.
So that's my dilemma here is Iunderstand kids definitely
(09:39):
should be in something, whetherit's sports or clubs or
something.
We know that, right?
Because otherwise you're outdoing things you're not supposed
to do or You're in the housejust playing video games, which
is what Kameryn does a lot.
I don't know.
I'm like at a dilemma here thatI'm just like, should I continue
(10:03):
to push him to try baseball orthey talk about some parents
like push so hard that it makeskids hate it.
So I don't know.
I don't know.
Kissie (10:17):
I know it's been a while since we've clipped these
things, but I want to clip thisbecause I'm tired of holding it.
And hopefully we won't, I won'tsound as loud as I did back
then, and hopefully I'll soundokay.
Jessica (10:30):
You sound the exact same, actually.
Kissie (10:31):
Perfect.
Remember I would laugh and I waslike,
Jessica (10:34):
But you're sitting weird.
I feel like you should put itfurther up.
It's not, wait.
Like here.
Yeah, there you go.
Cause I feel like for a minuteyou were like, like this, cause
you wanted to
Kissie (10:48):
keep it up.
No, I think that's good.
That's good.
Nevermind, I'll hold it.
It just feels weird.
Okay, so funny that's your,yeah.
I'm looking at you.
I'm looking at you.
I'm so sorry.
And you're looking at me.
Jessica (11:01):
No,
Kissie (11:01):
is there a big screen?
No, I'm looking at all three ofmy children.
Jessica (11:05):
There you go.
Kissie (11:06):
Yeah.
I was like,
Jessica (11:08):
what do you keep looking at?
Kissie (11:09):
I'm watching
Kissie (2) (11:09):
TV while I'm talking to you.
I'm watching TV, catching thegames, want to check the score.
Speaking of sports.
You're speaking.
It is so funny.
How are the Vikings
Kissie (3) (11:22):
doing?
I have no idea.
Yay sports.
Yay.
Kissie (11:27):
I was just having this conversation with my brother
this week.
My nieces and nephew all arelike very into after school
activities and sports.
So my nieces play softball fortheir high school team.
My nephew plays baseball and heplays, he's now playing for like
his middle school team.
Yeah.
But they also have played whatdo you call it?
(11:49):
Little League, yeah.
Little League, or they're like,town or national team or
whatever.
So we, they've always kept theirkids in activities.
They've done soccer, the girlshave done dance and ballet, but
we were just talking about thatnow that they're in high school
it's like a non negotiable.
Like they have a gym in theirgarage, these kids my brother
collects their cell phones, andit's like, all right, it's time
(12:10):
to go do it.
Go pitch, go catch, whatever,catch for your sister outside
and practice.
Like they have the baseball net,for for pitching and for batting
practice.
And we talked about it and he'smy wife and I.
We talk about like my gosh, likethis is expensive and it's like
these kids go to school.
They come home They do homework.
They go to practice then theyhave a game.
(12:31):
The youngest my youngest niecelike she's she's a pitcher and
she's really good He's she haspitching practice like with her
coach to help with developmentHe's You know, we sit and my
wife and I talk is it worth it?
We obviously don't tell the kidsthat but is it worth it?
And I was like, listen, forsomebody who did not play
sports, and if my husband'slistening, I'm sure he'll be
(12:52):
very proud.
For somebody who does not playsports, did not play sports, I
would suckle.
Confession, who was in APclasses and failed gym in high
school and I failed in ninthgrade and then I went to night
school for gym and failed thattoo because I don't want to do
this.
Nope.
And then my senior year, I waslike, yo, they were like you may
(13:15):
you've gotten all of yourcredits.
Like this is the only thingkeeping you from having a half
day.
It's but I took gym my senioryear and instead of doing
anything gym related, I becamethe teacher's pet and I would
grade all her papers and run allher errands and do, and that's
how I collected my points.
Okay.
So for somebody who did not playsports or did sports or worked
(13:40):
out, I see the value in itbecause Are you in
Jessica (13:44):
clubs or anything?
Kissie (13:46):
Yes, I was in, I'm not even going to talk about that's
another confession.
Yes, I did too.
I wish, no, I was like in the Ohmy gosh, I'm writing it,
Jessica (13:55):
I'm writing this topic down.
Kissie (13:56):
I was in the I was in like the National Authors
Society or something.
I don't even remember what itwas called.
I was also like part of thislike teen mentor group to help
like mediate.
No, it was called mediators.
That's what it was.
Something mediators.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway.
(14:16):
All that to say, we talked to Iwas talking to my brother and
he's I was like, what would yourather your kids do?
Be like we were, be home.
I'm like, really think about it.
Had you had our dad or our momreally push you to stay in
football, like you probablycould have gotten a scholarship,
even if not make it like for theNFL, you could have gotten a
scholarship because you werereally good, but we didn't have
(14:39):
anyone pushing us to do any ofthose things, so I'm like, yeah,
it's expensive.
And they're like, the kids haveno downtime or no free time of
what do they need free time forright now?
When they go to college and theymake their decisions on what
they want to continue to do.
At least, you've built thatfoundation and if they, start
slacking off don't join a team.
(15:00):
At least they remember and knowwow, I'm letting myself go.
If it gets to that I rememberwhat it took to, have the
mobility to have the strengththat I once had when I was a
certain age.
So I
Jessica (15:10):
think there's also something to like being on a
team and learning teamwork andlearning and like having a
coach.
That's what I really liked aboutKameryn playing sports too, is
like he had male coaches and hejust doesn't have male
influence.
influence.
Yeah, around me.
And he's got his brother, butlet's be honest.
(15:30):
They're not, they weren't likehanging out or anything.
And there was one coach that hereally liked and I was sad that,
we were leaving and he wouldn'thave him anymore, but right.
So there's, it's yes, thephysicality of it is nice, but
also just the, Of being on ateam and learning teamwork and
all that.
I don't know.
(15:51):
So I grew up playing sports.
I was played softball orwhatever my entire life until
high school.
And then in high school, I didbasketball, track and baseball
or softball.
Kissie (16:06):
And look at you, you're such a team player.
Jessica (16:09):
Oh story's not done because I ended up quitting all
three of those and drinking anddoing drugs in high school.
It's if I would have stayed inthem would I have still done the
things I don't know right likeI'm always, I've always been a
risk taker, but I'm not going sofar to say that because like my
kids, Kaylea and Kai stayed insports, but they were also like,
(16:30):
they weren't like diehard.
I wasn't like your brother.
I wasn't paying for extralessons.
I wasn't paying, for them to doanything extra, get a pitching
coach or anything like that.
With Kameryn, I have been, I'vebeen, Paying for him to do
training in the off season.
So it's, it hurt my heart tohear him saying that he didn't
(16:51):
want to do baseball anymorebecause we've invested a lot in
the past few years.
And he did even tell me too.
He's this is, he's, his head waslike down.
I was like, what's wrong?
And he's this is hard for me totell you.
I was just like, what?
And he's I don't want to playbaseball anymore.
And I'm like,
what?
But I did say, okay, if you don't like it anymore,
that's fine, but we need to dofind something else.
(17:12):
So
I actually have signed him up for flag football out
here.
They have a league, so he'll doflag football starting in
December.
And then they also have.
Like a rec, his school actuallyhas a lot of sports
opportunities.
Kissie (17:27):
Yeah.
Jessica (17:28):
And they have an after school rec league for basketball
that'll start soon.
So he said he would also dothat.
So we're trying differentthings, but I'm also, similar to
what your brother is saying islike.
Is it even worth it to be payingfor extra coaching or doing
these extra things?
It's I just spent 260 on flagfootball, signing him up.
Kissie (17:49):
It's okay.
Two things that I want to askyou when you were in high
school, you did, these threedifferent sports, but you quit
all three of them.
Who was, like, was anybodypushing you or encouraging you
in terms of family?
Not coaches, in terms of family.
Was anybody there really pushingyou or encouraging you or
(18:11):
watching you or keeping track ofyour schedule?
Jessica (18:13):
My mom.
Yeah.
Kissie (18:15):
Was she super hands on, how you have been with camp?
Jessica (18:19):
Not super hands on.
So my dad was actually my coachgrowing up in softball.
So he was my softball coach upuntil I was probably 13.
Okay.
And so he was involved then andthen once I got in high school
and I started to do thosesports, I just did them because
I liked them.
I also quit band in middleschool, too.
(18:40):
I'm a good, I'm a quitter.
I
Kissie (18:42):
can't talk.
I've quit everything that I'vestarted, so I can't judge.
Jessica (18:45):
So yeah, my mom was always at my games and taking me
and stuff.
And then when I wanted to quiteverything she did, she was
like, She didn't really push me,but she was like, Oh why, what
else are you doing?
Blah, blah, blah.
But it was never, I couldbasically decide what I wanted
to do.
Yeah.
So I never really had, I had alittle bit of support, but
(19:07):
nobody who was like,
he found the brush.
Kissie (3) (19:13):
It was where I said in the
Kissie (19:16):
bottom
Kissie (3) (19:16):
of dishwasher,
Kissie (19:18):
no, inside of the chicken that he seasoned Peter.
Okay.
So now to that question, do youthink That cam wanted to quit
baseball because he had spent somuch time not doing it,
especially in the summer.
And when you go to the gym andyou're like really invested,
(19:40):
it's yo, I'm in it.
It's a routine.
And then you don't go for amonth.
You're like, my gosh, it's sohard to get back into it.
Do you think he was like, Idon't want to do it because he
hasn't done it in so long.
Jessica (19:53):
I think it was a combination of that as well as
He didn't really know anybody onthe team, and then also, a lot
of the people on the team werereally good.
And, they've clearly beenplaying for years and years, and
he's new to the sport.
I remember when you said that.
I think it's a combination of alot of things.
(20:14):
But, he just said, I just, Idon't enjoy it.
He doesn't enjoy being out onthe field.
Okay.
I get that.
Alright.
As long as
Kissie (20:23):
it's not an excuse to get out.
Jessica (20:27):
So I'm still making him do other things, but I'm just
hoping, we're in eighth gradenow.
I'm just, I'm wondering like,once you get into high school,
what if he doesn't want to doany,
Kissie (20:38):
if we're being honest, like it's so much easier to not
to do anything.
It is so easy to not doanything.
It's so easy to come home, butIt's like Kai said I wish you
would have pushed me this is anon negotiable.
Like, when you get out of highschool, then you can make your
own choices, kind of thing.
Yeah.
You said something like, my brother, so my brother pays
for my niece's developmentbecause she is very good and he
(21:01):
knows okay, she is very good.
She has potential.
She's only in 10th grade.
If for that, like he, he'swilling to do it, but I think if
it was just to play the sportyeah, he probably wouldn't, I do
want you to do something, butI'm not going to stay here and
pay for development.
If I know you're not like good,right?
Which I think is also importantbecause there's some parents or
(21:21):
many parents nowadays who thinktheir child's going to make it
and the percentage is very.
Slim to none.
But yeah, the aspect that youhad mentioned earlier, like the
aspect of just joining a teamand being a part of a team, like
Peter and I have thatconversation a lot like out,
when we have Disagreement to belike, you were never part of a
team, so you don't get it.
Kissie (2) (21:41):
You're right, I don't.
I have no
Kissie (21:43):
idea.
I
don't get it.
That's why you're such a bitch.
She doesn't know
Kissie (3) (21:50):
how to
Kissie (21:52):
play with others.
Every that's why I cannot playgames.
My competitiveness?
I probably could have playedtennis.
There you go.
I'm great at that.
I'm just one person, one manshow.
But.
Or golf.
Or golf.
Yo, you imagine?
(22:12):
But yeah I hear that and Iunderstand that.
I don't like also the word.
It's a like force.
They are like, force is not akind of word, but I definitely
like push, like you should push.
I definitely think you shouldpush him to you got to do
something because you cannotjust be home.
And I would tell my brother thatlook at how we grew up, like by
(22:33):
the grace of God, we turned outwell, but same thing, like my
friends were doing things thatthey should not have been doing.
Like God, Dan was protecting meto not have gotten involved in a
lot of the things that I sawwhen I was a teenager.
I wish I would have inhindsight, I wish I would have
stuck with something.
So like our oldest is six yearsold.
(22:53):
Now I don't play sports.
I could barely dribble a ball.
I do go outside and try to shootwhen I feel like it, but you
believe that when it's time totrain, like I'm right behind
Peter on that no, it's time yougot to do exercises.
It's a non negotiable, ma'am.
You gotta put in work, littlegirl.
Jessica (23:14):
I showed Cam, I showed Kameryn the video of her.
Kissie (2) (23:18):
And
Jessica (23:18):
her basketball drills is Oh my gosh, look at, I said,
look at Rome.
Oh, sorry.
Look at our,
Kissie (23:25):
she didn't want to yesterday.
Like the weekends are reallyhard, right?
Cause the weekend's you want tobe home and you just want to
play.
So Monday sent over the summerMondays were really hard for her
to get back into that routine.
But yesterday I had stepped outand I brought the girls
something and, Then I took themout with me to the grocery store
and I asked her like, Hey, Iheard you were crying.
Why were you crying?
(23:46):
Oh, because because I didn'twant to do three exercises.
I only did one.
I'm like, oh, I was like, Ibrought you something.
It's not your birthday.
It's not Christmas.
You don't deserve this thing,and you couldn't do your
exercises like something thatyou do this quickly.
I'm like, all right.
So I text my husband.
I was like, Hey, can she finishthese when she gets home?
He's yeah, we got home.
(24:08):
I was like, give me, give meyour thing that I brought you.
You have it.
work to do.
This girl dribbled a hundredtimes.
Just I could barely
Kissie (2) (24:15):
dribble ten times.
Kissie (3) (24:17):
And it wasn't even just straight
Kissie (2) (24:19):
dribbling.
She was dribbling and
Kissie (24:20):
talking.
And I'm like, I'm telling myother daughter no, don't talk to
her.
She's no, she needs that.
She needs to be able toconcentrate while also being
distracted.
I'm like, she's just so amazing.
Our thing is not so much She,basketball's life.
No, it's, we want her to developthe skills for later on, for her
to decide what sport she's goingto enjoy and do that because the
(24:42):
way that we grew up my husband'smom did put them in sports, she
did.
She was on top of them withthat, but you can only be on top
of your child so much.
But for us, it's no, this is it.
There will be no phone.
There will be no TV.
There will be no things likeyou.
There's more to life than that.
And I would love, especially formy girls, to learn how to be a
(25:04):
part of a team.
That's not something that I everhad.
There was no money for me tojoin anything.
I remember telling my mom I wantto join cheerleading, and I want
to join this, and I want to jointhat.
And it's okay.
But it was on me to look up, theteams or whatever.
Fill out the papers in middleschool.
And I'm like, I don't know whatthe heck I'm doing.
And I did join cheerleading andI quit that really quickly
(25:26):
because I'm like, Oh, this ishard, but nobody was pushing me
to do it.
So yeah, I 100 percent agree.
You should push him to pick onesport.
Jessica (25:40):
I
Kissie (25:41):
know he's very different from Kai, his personality is
very different.
Yeah.
So but this is your job as aparent.
Peter and I have seen both sidesof it in our family.
Like the parents are like, nothey didn't want to do it.
So we let them quit.
And we've also seen the side ofyou, you don't have a choice.
(26:03):
Like you live under my roof,you're not quitting.
And we've seen the kids thatcould become something, actually
get scholarships, actually makeit to the major leagues.
Like we've seen that.
So yes, you could say what youwant.
And yeah, it's Oh, you'repushing your child too.
If we don't push them, who will?
You don't let society push them,nah, I'm straight.
(26:25):
I mean it's also again comingfrom somebody who did play a
lick of sport.
Kissie (3) (26:29):
But in my defense, I had no one on my corner.
Hindsight 2020.
I had no one on
Kissie (26:35):
my corner.
You say that and I have, so ouryoungest daughter we tried like
getting her involved in likebasketball and stuff.
And that girl is so strongwilled, but she's such a
perfectionist.
So it's been very hard to gether to try things because if she
doesn't get it right the firsttime, she wants to fail.
She just wants to give upimmediately.
(26:58):
So over the summer we, we foundlike a silver lining.
We found something she enjoyedgymnastics.
She loved it.
She was good at it.
Granted, she's four years old.
Did she listen?
No, something else we're workingon.
She does not want to follow thecrowd.
She just wants to like lay onthe mat and go to sleep.
(27:21):
But she did it.
She spent the hour in the class,which was like a big deal okay,
you made it there.
So something that we've talkedabout is she's not fully
understanding because she's solittle, but she will get to a
point where.
We do she will get to a pointwhere it's you're going to have
to choose something and stickwith it because if it was up to
her, that girl would stay homeand watch TV all day long.
(27:44):
Yeah.
And it's yeah, you can't fail in TV.
We know that you're not doingthat.
You
Jessica (27:53):
can't fail in
Kissie (27:54):
TV, but this summer I did like mommy's school.
And at the beginning it was sohard to get her to mommy's
school.
Yeah.
They call it a mommy.
Like they would do sports withdad and school with mom, i'm a
teacher I can't not have my kidslike practicing their letters
and writing and numbers, thesummer slide is real So she,
(28:17):
she's a little
Jessica (28:17):
sexist, but okay.
How oh, dad has the sportsagain.
I played no sports.
You, but I did.
I would wanna be the sport.
Kissie (2) (28:28):
Absolutely not.
I, Jessica, I'm a teacher.
I love to teach Call it what youwant.
I, you,
Kissie (28:37):
Peter would sit there and he would try.
He is this is not for me.
I stick with the high schoolkids.
I am not.
I am not for elementary.
Kissie (2) (28:43):
Why you walk?
Why you got to walk over here?
This man swears.
He took his shirt off.
Does
Jessica (28:49):
he want to be on our podcast?
Kissie (3) (28:51):
Do
Kissie (2) (28:51):
you want to be on our podcast?
Kissie (3) (28:53):
Do
you want to be on
Kissie (2) (28:56):
our podcast?
You do make too much noise.
Kissie (28:58):
Yeah, you do make too much noise.
Oh my gosh, Pete.
Can I tell you?
Can I tell you the adjustmentthat my wonderful husband made?
Super sidebar.
Kissie (2) (29:08):
So
Kissie (29:09):
there's three kids that I got to get ready every morning
and we, the majority of us knowlike men are very loud,
especially in the morning.
So I asked them can you can youplease just get ready
downstairs?
You think you're not being loud,but you are so loud and we have
a hundred year old home.
So the floor is upstairs, everysingle Creek.
(29:30):
So I'm just, very proud.
He took one for the team.
He gets ready downstairs now.
And the baby sleep, the littleone sleeps.
I don't have to wake up at thecrack of dawn with him.
Anyway.
So yeah, over the summer wetried doing school with her and
she was like, no this is not anoption.
I, I need you to put in workbecause when you do go to
(29:52):
school, I can't have you beingthat child that decides they
don't want to do anything like,and I'm so glad that I pushed
her.
To do that, because we've taughtkids like that I can't do it,
this is hard, I don't want to doit it's hard teaching a child
like that, knowing that youhave, 18 other kids that you
(30:13):
have to deal with, 20 other kidsthat you have to deal with.
But yeah, call it what you want,sex is your name, it's great.
Jessica (30:20):
I think and also struggle is what helps you grow.
Kissie (30:24):
Amen.
Jessica (30:25):
Yeah.
We have to go through struggle.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm, spring baseball season willcome up again and we'll see.
I'm going to play it by ear tosee if he wants to maybe try
spring baseball.
Kissie (30:40):
I'm wondering too, like the whole, like the grass might,
the grass isn't green on theother side.
Maybe he'll try these othersports and be like, actually,
Jessica (30:46):
I
Kissie (30:47):
actually do like baseball.
Jessica (30:48):
Yeah,
Kissie (30:50):
we'll play it by ear.
How do you feel about driving?
The aspect of driving around?
Jessica (30:56):
I actually feel like I have it good because my kids are
like, now my kids are so far inage that I just have one kid
that I'm having to, drive, whichis not, it's not too bad.
I have a friend who has, her twogirls are pretty two and a half
years apart, but She'sconstantly driving.
(31:16):
This one has to go here.
This one has to go here.
This now we have this, now wehave tournaments.
Now we, I'm like, Oh my gosh, Idon't think I would like that.
Kissie (31:27):
So Kelly and I were talking about that recently.
Shout out to Kelly.
Jessica (31:31):
Hey Kelly! She
Kissie (31:33):
listened to our last episode and she texted me.
She said, I'm the white friend.
It's
Jessica (31:37):
so funny.
She texted me after episode two.
You are Cal, you are.
Kissie (31:45):
Sorry, I have 10%.
So we've talked about that, wetalked about that idea of
driving around like how that candiscourage you and just make you
want to quit.
Like it's so much easier to behome.
So I was telling her like,putting K in gymnastics, like we
tried it and then school startedand I was like, I can't do this.
I have a baby at home.
This is just too much.
(32:05):
Where R does her stuff like herewith her dad.
And she was doing jiu jitsu, butdad would take her and I'm like,
man, they're going to get to anage where, yeah, she backloaded
jiu jitsu, we're going to get toan age who is really good to
we're going to get to
an
age where I'm going to have to drive all three of them
(32:26):
because he coaches and I'm like,that is going to be life.
Am I prepared for that?
How do I ensure that I can bepositive through that?
Because that.
It's very hard for me when I'mstressed to just be positive.
To show like, this is good.
We're enjoying this.
We're going to do theseactivities because the girls get
home.
Now we're home by two 30, two 30to 8.
(32:48):
PM is a long day.
Monday through Friday.
And I'm like, I can understandwhy people do activities, but
it's hard to do them every day.
Jessica (33:00):
I think, yeah, there's a lot into, it's like the time
commitment of having your kidsin sports, the financial
commitment that you have to giveto the sports equipment, the
training, like just signing upthe uniforms.
Like I've spent so much money oncleats and baseball pants and
belts.
And now I'm just like, Iliterally just bought a new pair
(33:22):
of cleats before this.
So I'm like but then also, justlike we're saying, like the like
mental commitment of it too, oflike when they want to quit or
when they're, you have to trainthem a little bit at home or
continue to have them doworkouts at home and things.
So it's a lot of your kids andthings is there's benefits, but
there's a lot of frickingcommitments too from our ends,
(33:45):
which is hard.
Kissie (33:47):
Everything's hard.
Jessica (33:48):
Let us know what you
Kissie (33:49):
guys think.
What are your pros and cons?
And would you push your child?
To do sports at what, and whatage would you start them?
Honestly, what age for seasonedparents?
What age would you start them?
From, for those that have littleones what are your thoughts?
What are your sport choices?
Jessica (34:06):
Or even activities.
Because it doesn't have to besports, right?
It could be Yeah.
Kissie (34:12):
I don't know.
I'm looking at you and I don'tknow.
Is she wearing a onesie?
What are you wearing?
Jessica (34:16):
Oh, a hoodie.
Kissie (34:17):
Oh, got it.
Oh, Aspen.
Alright.
Jessica (34:21):
Aspen! Anyway, let us know.
Subscribe.
Kissie (2) (34:27):
That.
I do that a lot with the baby.
Does he laugh?
He does.
Kissie (3) (34:37):
He does it back.
Kissie (2) (34:37):
He goes like this.
Awww.
That's beautiful.
Jessica (34:43):
That's gonna be our screenshot right there is that
face.
Kissie (34:46):
Yeah.
All right.
Love you, Jess.
Miss you.
Luca wants
Jessica (34:50):
to join.
Hey! Oh
Kissie (3) (34:52):
my gosh.
Kissie (34:55):
It's like a whole person.
Jessica (34:57):
Okay.
Bye! Till next time!
It's Kiss
Jessica (00:05):
and Jess.
Hopefully we sound better.
Kissie (00:09):
For real, yo, all these warnings on this new platform.
Jessica (00:13):
I know, oh my god.
Whoa, here's another one.
Kissie (00:15):
What?
You got another notice?
Jessica (00:18):
Yeah.
Kissie (00:18):
Oh, what did it tell you?
Did it tell you backgroundnoise?
Jessica (00:21):
Quality check.
Kissie (00:23):
I didn't even read it.
I just X'd them all out.
I'm like, I don't have time toread this.
This is happening.
Jessica (00:29):
We are trying.
We are trying new things.
We are trying to.
New
Kissie (00:35):
technology now that we're in a completely different
time zone Literally,
Jessica (00:43):
yeah, I
Kissie (00:43):
love the word literally Literally Thing I literally
literally just told Peter youbetter not be sending voice
messages Because it's our turnIf you hear any water in the
background, we are still in ourliving spaces because we don't
(01:05):
have no monies for no podcast,renting podcast places.
You imagine if we like gotthere.
You got a
Jessica (01:11):
studio?
I just made it to the studio.
Kissie (01:16):
Where's the studio?
My unfinished basement.
Where's your studio?
My car.
Jessica (01:22):
Or maybe a WeWork office.
Maybe we could step up the game.
Kissie (01:26):
I mean, Jessica, with our 7.
5 followers.
7.
5.
Jessica (01:33):
Which I mean, hey, I had three of our followers reach
out to me about us starting.
Kissie (01:39):
Yeah,
Kissie (2) (01:40):
yes same.
I had some of my girlfriendsfrom here oh my gosh couldn't
wait to listen Oh my gosh, thiswas like I missed it on my drive
in the morning and I had friendsthis weekend Tell me how proud
they are of you for like
Kissie (01:53):
just having up and moved like they're like man I wish I
could do the same like I knowwith this.
I know I hear that You
Jessica (02:01):
I got the same message when I moved out to Jersey, so I
guess I'm just crazy.
Kissie (02:06):
Yeah, but your move to Jersey was for different
reasons.
This move to Cali is for you, sothat
Jessica (02:12):
This is true.
Kissie (02:13):
Yeah.
This is true.
And I wasn't by
Jessica (02:15):
myself.
This time, I'm totally bymyself, so
Kissie (02:18):
You're by yourself with 1 person.
Jessica (02:21):
Yeah.
Kissie (02:22):
We're gonna Yeah.
He's a 1.
Just because, he's not an adultyet.
Not
Jessica (02:27):
quite.
He's
Kissie (02:27):
I said 5.
Whoa.
So the other day I was talkingto a friend and I was trying to
explain like this laundrymethod, a way of doing laundry,
and I was like, yeah, it cutsyour time in half by 80%.
And she's I don't know if youcan cut it in half by 80.
I'm like, yo, my mom brain.
All right.
What I meant to say is it cutsyour laundry time, like by 80
(02:49):
percent of what you had before,but just in half by 80, just
sounded so good.
Okay.
Jessica (02:55):
So what is it?
Kissie (02:56):
It's 80 percent less.
Like you're wasting 80 percentless time doing it.
Jessica (03:01):
Sounds like there's a tea kettle going off.
You hear it?
Kissie (03:04):
That's what it is.
Is it?
In a living.
Yes.
Peter likes to let it likemarinate for a very long time.
Kissie (3) (03:11):
Whistle.
Whistle.
Why would you say that?
Wow.
Because it's.
That sounds so
Jessica (03:24):
Stop.
Kissie (3) (03:31):
It's horrible.
I guess that's a good way ofteaching the spelling of the
word.
Oh no, but the kids will walkaround did you hear the hueso?
I can't pronounce it.
Oh my
Jessica (03:41):
gosh, please.
You look really pretty today.
Why do you have so much makeupon?
Yes this is my church makeup.
I've been wearing it since 18.
Not saying makeup makes peoplepretty.
Kissie (03:55):
I don't care.
We talked about this.
Kissie (2) (03:56):
We said that when we would podcast that we would like
make, sure that our appearance,but our first episode back was a
rough one.
I didn't wash my hair.
I didn't have anything on.
Kissie (04:07):
But yeah, this is my church makeup from this morning.
And I was like, yeah, we'rerecording and I am now taking
this off.
And look, a little goes a longway.
Jessica (04:15):
It says, but what do you have a little blush?
So I have on I wish I had myproducts in front of me I have
on a little bit of eye correctorBy the way, sorry go to youtube
if you want to see this.
Okay.
Kissie (04:28):
Yeah a little eye corrector and I did put on a
little bit of foundation just inthis area And I used
Jessica (04:36):
a light, light eye shadow.
I did pencil in the brows alittle bit,
Kissie (04:40):
but as you can tell, do you see that little lift that's
clearly, eight 30.
So let's just bring you backdown.
Nope.
Cause it's gelled on.
Cause I have to use eyebrow
Jessica (04:49):
gel because I have curly eyebrows, so I have to gel
it and then just light eyeliner.
And that's about it.
And I did
Kissie (04:58):
a little lip gloss.
To, accentuate my dry lips.
Love it.
It looks great.
Did you get a new couch?
Oh my gosh, we did.
We did! Jess, look! A new couch!And it has recliners.
We are moving on up, baby girl.
Jessica (05:19):
Oh, Alex from Love Is Line would not like that.
Kissie (05:23):
I know she wouldn't.
I was like, yo, that, listen.
Who doesn't want a
Jessica (05:28):
recliner?
Recliner.
That's funny
Kissie (05:30):
because the recliner is on both ends.
So it's like Peter and I, it'sso funny.
It's we're so far from eachother.
It's like recliners on our bothends, but it's nice because
there's space in the middle forall three kids.
I was literally just scratchingmy tush right now.
Wow.
I had a little itch, but yeah,but we have the nugget.
(05:50):
So like we can bring that over.
I wanted one of those sofas thatnow like converts into We're
like you could pull out the,it's not like a sleeper, but you
could pull out like the footrestfrom underneath where you could,
it'll look like a huge bedalmost, but they didn't have the
specific style we want.
We wanted a four seater.
(06:12):
With that option.
And most of them were likesectionals, but the sectional
was too big for our space.
So there's just a lot of thoughtprocess.
Nice.
But we like it and it opens upthe space, which is really nice
because, there's three of themnow.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we need the space.
But yeah, I cut my hair thisweek and postpartum has left the
(06:34):
top of my hair very straight.
I no longer get curls up here,which has been really rough for
me.
So I tried having long curls,and then I was like, yo, this
ain't it.
So I had to go back and re cutit.
Jessica (06:46):
Oh, it looks nice.
Looks good.
I had my paddling practicetoday.
Kissie (06:55):
I need to not call it that.
I was trying to tell the girlsthis weekend I wanted to tell
them Yeah, she joined a surfingclub.
I'm like, yes, you can't lie.
She joined a paddling
Jessica (07:03):
club! Yeah, it's called paddling when you go paddling,
but it's on a big ass canoe, soThere's, it was, there's a lot
of waves today.
It was nice to go out.
Yeah, and you're like going onthe waves.
It's fun.
Kissie (07:18):
And this is on the beach.
Jessica (07:20):
On the ocean.
Yeah,
Kissie (07:21):
on the ocean, in the ocean.
Which ocean is it, Jess?
Which ocean?
Jessica (07:25):
The Pacific, baby!
Kissie (07:26):
OMG.
Jessica (07:30):
So exciting for you, I remember that because when I
used to teach third grade, myfriend, teachers, and I, we
would always make songs to like,remember things, and one of them
wrote a song for the oceans.
And I remember it because wewould point at the map as we
would sing it.
(07:50):
And it was Pacific, Atlantic,the Arctic and Indian bum, bum,
bee dum bum, bee dum, bum.
Kissie (07:57):
If that doesn't catch.
Jessica (08:00):
Yup.
Yup.
Kissie (08:02):
Thank you for that reminder.
Anyway.
Jessica (08:04):
Yeah.
Kissie (08:05):
We have spent eight minutes talking nonsense though.
Jessica (08:08):
We have.
I was talking to Kai a littlebit ago and he was talking about
like basketball and thingsbecause he actually decided not
to play basketball his senioryear.
And we were talking about howKaylea didn't continue to play
soccer in college, which kind ofupset me a little bit as well.
(08:30):
And then Kameryn just recentlydecided he did not want to play
baseball anymore.
And
Kai had told me, he was like, I wished that when I was
younger, that you would havepushed me more to do some sports
more or and so it like made methink and I'm like, huh.
(08:52):
So I feel like I have aconfession that I regret, but
also feel like I might still bepart doing it is like not
forcing my kids.
I don't know.
Forcing is the right word tostay in sports or afterschool
activities enough.
I don't know.
Sometimes I'm let's talk aboutKameryn.
(09:13):
So Kameryn all of a sudden justdoesn't want to play anymore.
Kissie (09:16):
mmm hmm
Jessica (09:17):
so like I tried to ask him like why and asking
questions and push a little bit,but he just.
He just is I'm just, I don'twant to play anymore.
I don't like it anymore.
So I'm like, okay, all right.
And then, but then I was like weneed to do something else.
But also should I be pushingmore?
I don't know.
So that's my dilemma here is Iunderstand kids definitely
(09:39):
should be in something, whetherit's sports or clubs or
something.
We know that, right?
Because otherwise you're outdoing things you're not supposed
to do or You're in the housejust playing video games, which
is what Kameryn does a lot.
I don't know.
I'm like at a dilemma here thatI'm just like, should I continue
(10:03):
to push him to try baseball orthey talk about some parents
like push so hard that it makeskids hate it.
So I don't know.
I don't know.
Kissie (10:17):
I know it's been a while since we've clipped these
things, but I want to clip thisbecause I'm tired of holding it.
And hopefully we won't, I won'tsound as loud as I did back
then, and hopefully I'll soundokay.
Jessica (10:30):
You sound the exact same, actually.
Kissie (10:31):
Perfect.
Remember I would laugh and I waslike,
Jessica (10:34):
But you're sitting weird.
I feel like you should put itfurther up.
It's not, wait.
Like here.
Yeah, there you go.
Cause I feel like for a minuteyou were like, like this, cause
you wanted to
Kissie (10:48):
keep it up.
No, I think that's good.
That's good.
Nevermind, I'll hold it.
It just feels weird.
Okay, so funny that's your,yeah.
I'm looking at you.
I'm looking at you.
I'm so sorry.
And you're looking at me.
Jessica (11:01):
No,
Kissie (11:01):
is there a big screen?
No, I'm looking at all three ofmy children.
Jessica (11:05):
There you go.
Kissie (11:06):
Yeah.
I was like,
Jessica (11:08):
what do you keep looking at?
Kissie (11:09):
I'm watching
Kissie (2) (11:09):
TV while I'm talking to you.
I'm watching TV, catching thegames, want to check the score.
Speaking of sports.
You're speaking.
It is so funny.
How are the Vikings
Kissie (3) (11:22):
doing?
I have no idea.
Yay sports.
Yay.
Kissie (11:27):
I was just having this conversation with my brother
this week.
My nieces and nephew all arelike very into after school
activities and sports.
So my nieces play softball fortheir high school team.
My nephew plays baseball and heplays, he's now playing for like
his middle school team.
Yeah.
But they also have played whatdo you call it?
(11:49):
Little League, yeah.
Little League, or they're like,town or national team or
whatever.
So we, they've always kept theirkids in activities.
They've done soccer, the girlshave done dance and ballet, but
we were just talking about thatnow that they're in high school
it's like a non negotiable.
Like they have a gym in theirgarage, these kids my brother
collects their cell phones, andit's like, all right, it's time
(12:10):
to go do it.
Go pitch, go catch, whatever,catch for your sister outside
and practice.
Like they have the baseball net,for for pitching and for batting
practice.
And we talked about it and he'smy wife and I.
We talk about like my gosh, likethis is expensive and it's like
these kids go to school.
They come home They do homework.
They go to practice then theyhave a game.
(12:31):
The youngest my youngest niecelike she's she's a pitcher and
she's really good He's she haspitching practice like with her
coach to help with developmentHe's You know, we sit and my
wife and I talk is it worth it?
We obviously don't tell the kidsthat but is it worth it?
And I was like, listen, forsomebody who did not play
sports, and if my husband'slistening, I'm sure he'll be
(12:52):
very proud.
For somebody who does not playsports, did not play sports, I
would suckle.
Confession, who was in APclasses and failed gym in high
school and I failed in ninthgrade and then I went to night
school for gym and failed thattoo because I don't want to do
this.
Nope.
And then my senior year, I waslike, yo, they were like you may
(13:15):
you've gotten all of yourcredits.
Like this is the only thingkeeping you from having a half
day.
It's but I took gym my senioryear and instead of doing
anything gym related, I becamethe teacher's pet and I would
grade all her papers and run allher errands and do, and that's
how I collected my points.
Okay.
So for somebody who did not playsports or did sports or worked
(13:40):
out, I see the value in itbecause Are you in
Jessica (13:44):
clubs or anything?
Kissie (13:46):
Yes, I was in, I'm not even going to talk about that's
another confession.
Yes, I did too.
I wish, no, I was like in the Ohmy gosh, I'm writing it,
Jessica (13:55):
I'm writing this topic down.
Kissie (13:56):
I was in the I was in like the National Authors
Society or something.
I don't even remember what itwas called.
I was also like part of thislike teen mentor group to help
like mediate.
No, it was called mediators.
That's what it was.
Something mediators.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway.
(14:16):
All that to say, we talked to Iwas talking to my brother and
he's I was like, what would yourather your kids do?
Be like we were, be home.
I'm like, really think about it.
Had you had our dad or our momreally push you to stay in
football, like you probablycould have gotten a scholarship,
even if not make it like for theNFL, you could have gotten a
scholarship because you werereally good, but we didn't have
(14:39):
anyone pushing us to do any ofthose things, so I'm like, yeah,
it's expensive.
And they're like, the kids haveno downtime or no free time of
what do they need free time forright now?
When they go to college and theymake their decisions on what
they want to continue to do.
At least, you've built thatfoundation and if they, start
slacking off don't join a team.
(15:00):
At least they remember and knowwow, I'm letting myself go.
If it gets to that I rememberwhat it took to, have the
mobility to have the strengththat I once had when I was a
certain age.
So I
Jessica (15:10):
think there's also something to like being on a
team and learning teamwork andlearning and like having a
coach.
That's what I really liked aboutKameryn playing sports too, is
like he had male coaches and hejust doesn't have male
influence.
influence.
Yeah, around me.
And he's got his brother, butlet's be honest.
(15:30):
They're not, they weren't likehanging out or anything.
And there was one coach that hereally liked and I was sad that,
we were leaving and he wouldn'thave him anymore, but right.
So there's, it's yes, thephysicality of it is nice, but
also just the, Of being on ateam and learning teamwork and
all that.
I don't know.
(15:51):
So I grew up playing sports.
I was played softball orwhatever my entire life until
high school.
And then in high school, I didbasketball, track and baseball
or softball.
Kissie (16:06):
And look at you, you're such a team player.
Jessica (16:09):
Oh story's not done because I ended up quitting all
three of those and drinking anddoing drugs in high school.
It's if I would have stayed inthem would I have still done the
things I don't know right likeI'm always, I've always been a
risk taker, but I'm not going sofar to say that because like my
kids, Kaylea and Kai stayed insports, but they were also like,
(16:30):
they weren't like diehard.
I wasn't like your brother.
I wasn't paying for extralessons.
I wasn't paying, for them to doanything extra, get a pitching
coach or anything like that.
With Kameryn, I have been, I'vebeen, Paying for him to do
training in the off season.
So it's, it hurt my heart tohear him saying that he didn't
(16:51):
want to do baseball anymorebecause we've invested a lot in
the past few years.
And he did even tell me too.
He's this is, he's, his head waslike down.
I was like, what's wrong?
And he's this is hard for me totell you.
I was just like, what?
And he's I don't want to playbaseball anymore.
And I'm like,
what?
But I did say, okay, if you don't like it anymore,
that's fine, but we need to dofind something else.
(17:12):
So
I actually have signed him up for flag football out
here.
They have a league, so he'll doflag football starting in
December.
And then they also have.
Like a rec, his school actuallyhas a lot of sports
opportunities.
Kissie (17:27):
Yeah.
Jessica (17:28):
And they have an after school rec league for basketball
that'll start soon.
So he said he would also dothat.
So we're trying differentthings, but I'm also, similar to
what your brother is saying islike.
Is it even worth it to be payingfor extra coaching or doing
these extra things?
It's I just spent 260 on flagfootball, signing him up.
Kissie (17:49):
It's okay.
Two things that I want to askyou when you were in high
school, you did, these threedifferent sports, but you quit
all three of them.
Who was, like, was anybodypushing you or encouraging you
in terms of family?
Not coaches, in terms of family.
Was anybody there really pushingyou or encouraging you or
(18:11):
watching you or keeping track ofyour schedule?
Jessica (18:13):
My mom.
Yeah.
Kissie (18:15):
Was she super hands on, how you have been with camp?
Jessica (18:19):
Not super hands on.
So my dad was actually my coachgrowing up in softball.
So he was my softball coach upuntil I was probably 13.
Okay.
And so he was involved then andthen once I got in high school
and I started to do thosesports, I just did them because
I liked them.
I also quit band in middleschool, too.
(18:40):
I'm a good, I'm a quitter.
I
Kissie (18:42):
can't talk.
I've quit everything that I'vestarted, so I can't judge.
Jessica (18:45):
So yeah, my mom was always at my games and taking me
and stuff.
And then when I wanted to quiteverything she did, she was
like, She didn't really push me,but she was like, Oh why, what
else are you doing?
Blah, blah, blah.
But it was never, I couldbasically decide what I wanted
to do.
Yeah.
So I never really had, I had alittle bit of support, but
(19:07):
nobody who was like,
he found the brush.
Kissie (3) (19:13):
It was where I said in the
Kissie (19:16):
bottom
Kissie (3) (19:16):
of dishwasher,
Kissie (19:18):
no, inside of the chicken that he seasoned Peter.
Okay.
So now to that question, do youthink That cam wanted to quit
baseball because he had spent somuch time not doing it,
especially in the summer.
And when you go to the gym andyou're like really invested,
(19:40):
it's yo, I'm in it.
It's a routine.
And then you don't go for amonth.
You're like, my gosh, it's sohard to get back into it.
Do you think he was like, Idon't want to do it because he
hasn't done it in so long.
Jessica (19:53):
I think it was a combination of that as well as
He didn't really know anybody onthe team, and then also, a lot
of the people on the team werereally good.
And, they've clearly beenplaying for years and years, and
he's new to the sport.
I remember when you said that.
I think it's a combination of alot of things.
(20:14):
But, he just said, I just, Idon't enjoy it.
He doesn't enjoy being out onthe field.
Okay.
I get that.
Alright.
As long as
Kissie (20:23):
it's not an excuse to get out.
Jessica (20:27):
So I'm still making him do other things, but I'm just
hoping, we're in eighth gradenow.
I'm just, I'm wondering like,once you get into high school,
what if he doesn't want to doany,
Kissie (20:38):
if we're being honest, like it's so much easier to not
to do anything.
It is so easy to not doanything.
It's so easy to come home, butIt's like Kai said I wish you
would have pushed me this is anon negotiable.
Like, when you get out of highschool, then you can make your
own choices, kind of thing.
Yeah.
You said something like, my brother, so my brother pays
for my niece's developmentbecause she is very good and he
(21:01):
knows okay, she is very good.
She has potential.
She's only in 10th grade.
If for that, like he, he'swilling to do it, but I think if
it was just to play the sportyeah, he probably wouldn't, I do
want you to do something, butI'm not going to stay here and
pay for development.
If I know you're not like good,right?
Which I think is also importantbecause there's some parents or
(21:21):
many parents nowadays who thinktheir child's going to make it
and the percentage is very.
Slim to none.
But yeah, the aspect that youhad mentioned earlier, like the
aspect of just joining a teamand being a part of a team, like
Peter and I have thatconversation a lot like out,
when we have Disagreement to belike, you were never part of a
team, so you don't get it.
Kissie (2) (21:41):
You're right, I don't.
I have no
Kissie (21:43):
idea.
I
don't get it.
That's why you're such a bitch.
She doesn't know
Kissie (3) (21:50):
how to
Kissie (21:52):
play with others.
Every that's why I cannot playgames.
My competitiveness?
I probably could have playedtennis.
There you go.
I'm great at that.
I'm just one person, one manshow.
But.
Or golf.
Or golf.
Yo, you imagine?
(22:12):
But yeah I hear that and Iunderstand that.
I don't like also the word.
It's a like force.
They are like, force is not akind of word, but I definitely
like push, like you should push.
I definitely think you shouldpush him to you got to do
something because you cannotjust be home.
And I would tell my brother thatlook at how we grew up, like by
(22:33):
the grace of God, we turned outwell, but same thing, like my
friends were doing things thatthey should not have been doing.
Like God, Dan was protecting meto not have gotten involved in a
lot of the things that I sawwhen I was a teenager.
I wish I would have inhindsight, I wish I would have
stuck with something.
So like our oldest is six yearsold.
(22:53):
Now I don't play sports.
I could barely dribble a ball.
I do go outside and try to shootwhen I feel like it, but you
believe that when it's time totrain, like I'm right behind
Peter on that no, it's time yougot to do exercises.
It's a non negotiable, ma'am.
You gotta put in work, littlegirl.
Jessica (23:14):
I showed Cam, I showed Kameryn the video of her.
Kissie (2) (23:18):
And
Jessica (23:18):
her basketball drills is Oh my gosh, look at, I said,
look at Rome.
Oh, sorry.
Look at our,
Kissie (23:25):
she didn't want to yesterday.
Like the weekends are reallyhard, right?
Cause the weekend's you want tobe home and you just want to
play.
So Monday sent over the summerMondays were really hard for her
to get back into that routine.
But yesterday I had stepped outand I brought the girls
something and, Then I took themout with me to the grocery store
and I asked her like, Hey, Iheard you were crying.
Why were you crying?
(23:46):
Oh, because because I didn'twant to do three exercises.
I only did one.
I'm like, oh, I was like, Ibrought you something.
It's not your birthday.
It's not Christmas.
You don't deserve this thing,and you couldn't do your
exercises like something thatyou do this quickly.
I'm like, all right.
So I text my husband.
I was like, Hey, can she finishthese when she gets home?
He's yeah, we got home.
(24:08):
I was like, give me, give meyour thing that I brought you.
You have it.
work to do.
This girl dribbled a hundredtimes.
Just I could barely
Kissie (2) (24:15):
dribble ten times.
Kissie (3) (24:17):
And it wasn't even just straight
Kissie (2) (24:19):
dribbling.
She was dribbling and
Kissie (24:20):
talking.
And I'm like, I'm telling myother daughter no, don't talk to
her.
She's no, she needs that.
She needs to be able toconcentrate while also being
distracted.
I'm like, she's just so amazing.
Our thing is not so much She,basketball's life.
No, it's, we want her to developthe skills for later on, for her
to decide what sport she's goingto enjoy and do that because the
(24:42):
way that we grew up my husband'smom did put them in sports, she
did.
She was on top of them withthat, but you can only be on top
of your child so much.
But for us, it's no, this is it.
There will be no phone.
There will be no TV.
There will be no things likeyou.
There's more to life than that.
And I would love, especially formy girls, to learn how to be a
(25:04):
part of a team.
That's not something that I everhad.
There was no money for me tojoin anything.
I remember telling my mom I wantto join cheerleading, and I want
to join this, and I want to jointhat.
And it's okay.
But it was on me to look up, theteams or whatever.
Fill out the papers in middleschool.
And I'm like, I don't know whatthe heck I'm doing.
And I did join cheerleading andI quit that really quickly
(25:26):
because I'm like, Oh, this ishard, but nobody was pushing me
to do it.
So yeah, I 100 percent agree.
You should push him to pick onesport.
Jessica (25:40):
I
Kissie (25:41):
know he's very different from Kai, his personality is
very different.
Yeah.
So but this is your job as aparent.
Peter and I have seen both sidesof it in our family.
Like the parents are like, nothey didn't want to do it.
So we let them quit.
And we've also seen the side ofyou, you don't have a choice.
(26:03):
Like you live under my roof,you're not quitting.
And we've seen the kids thatcould become something, actually
get scholarships, actually makeit to the major leagues.
Like we've seen that.
So yes, you could say what youwant.
And yeah, it's Oh, you'repushing your child too.
If we don't push them, who will?
You don't let society push them,nah, I'm straight.
(26:25):
I mean it's also again comingfrom somebody who did play a
lick of sport.
Kissie (3) (26:29):
But in my defense, I had no one on my corner.
Hindsight 2020.
I had no one on
Kissie (26:35):
my corner.
You say that and I have, so ouryoungest daughter we tried like
getting her involved in likebasketball and stuff.
And that girl is so strongwilled, but she's such a
perfectionist.
So it's been very hard to gether to try things because if she
doesn't get it right the firsttime, she wants to fail.
She just wants to give upimmediately.
(26:58):
So over the summer we, we foundlike a silver lining.
We found something she enjoyedgymnastics.
She loved it.
She was good at it.
Granted, she's four years old.
Did she listen?
No, something else we're workingon.
She does not want to follow thecrowd.
She just wants to like lay onthe mat and go to sleep.
(27:21):
But she did it.
She spent the hour in the class,which was like a big deal okay,
you made it there.
So something that we've talkedabout is she's not fully
understanding because she's solittle, but she will get to a
point where.
We do she will get to a pointwhere it's you're going to have
to choose something and stickwith it because if it was up to
her, that girl would stay homeand watch TV all day long.
(27:44):
Yeah.
And it's yeah, you can't fail in TV.
We know that you're not doingthat.
You
Jessica (27:53):
can't fail in
Kissie (27:54):
TV, but this summer I did like mommy's school.
And at the beginning it was sohard to get her to mommy's
school.
Yeah.
They call it a mommy.
Like they would do sports withdad and school with mom, i'm a
teacher I can't not have my kidslike practicing their letters
and writing and numbers, thesummer slide is real So she,
(28:17):
she's a little
Jessica (28:17):
sexist, but okay.
How oh, dad has the sportsagain.
I played no sports.
You, but I did.
I would wanna be the sport.
Kissie (2) (28:28):
Absolutely not.
I, Jessica, I'm a teacher.
I love to teach Call it what youwant.
I, you,
Kissie (28:37):
Peter would sit there and he would try.
He is this is not for me.
I stick with the high schoolkids.
I am not.
I am not for elementary.
Kissie (2) (28:43):
Why you walk?
Why you got to walk over here?
This man swears.
He took his shirt off.
Does
Jessica (28:49):
he want to be on our podcast?
Kissie (3) (28:51):
Do
Kissie (2) (28:51):
you want to be on our podcast?
Kissie (3) (28:53):
Do
you want to be on
Kissie (2) (28:56):
our podcast?
You do make too much noise.
Kissie (28:58):
Yeah, you do make too much noise.
Oh my gosh, Pete.
Can I tell you?
Can I tell you the adjustmentthat my wonderful husband made?
Super sidebar.
Kissie (2) (29:08):
So
Kissie (29:09):
there's three kids that I got to get ready every morning
and we, the majority of us knowlike men are very loud,
especially in the morning.
So I asked them can you can youplease just get ready
downstairs?
You think you're not being loud,but you are so loud and we have
a hundred year old home.
So the floor is upstairs, everysingle Creek.
(29:30):
So I'm just, very proud.
He took one for the team.
He gets ready downstairs now.
And the baby sleep, the littleone sleeps.
I don't have to wake up at thecrack of dawn with him.
Anyway.
So yeah, over the summer wetried doing school with her and
she was like, no this is not anoption.
I, I need you to put in workbecause when you do go to
(29:52):
school, I can't have you beingthat child that decides they
don't want to do anything like,and I'm so glad that I pushed
her.
To do that, because we've taughtkids like that I can't do it,
this is hard, I don't want to doit it's hard teaching a child
like that, knowing that youhave, 18 other kids that you
(30:13):
have to deal with, 20 other kidsthat you have to deal with.
But yeah, call it what you want,sex is your name, it's great.
Jessica (30:20):
I think and also struggle is what helps you grow.
Kissie (30:24):
Amen.
Jessica (30:25):
Yeah.
We have to go through struggle.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm, spring baseball season willcome up again and we'll see.
I'm going to play it by ear tosee if he wants to maybe try
spring baseball.
Kissie (30:40):
I'm wondering too, like the whole, like the grass might,
the grass isn't green on theother side.
Maybe he'll try these othersports and be like, actually,
Jessica (30:46):
I
Kissie (30:47):
actually do like baseball.
Jessica (30:48):
Yeah,
Kissie (30:50):
we'll play it by ear.
How do you feel about driving?
The aspect of driving around?
Jessica (30:56):
I actually feel like I have it good because my kids are
like, now my kids are so far inage that I just have one kid
that I'm having to, drive, whichis not, it's not too bad.
I have a friend who has, her twogirls are pretty two and a half
years apart, but She'sconstantly driving.
(31:16):
This one has to go here.
This one has to go here.
This now we have this, now wehave tournaments.
Now we, I'm like, Oh my gosh, Idon't think I would like that.
Kissie (31:27):
So Kelly and I were talking about that recently.
Shout out to Kelly.
Jessica (31:31):
Hey Kelly! She
Kissie (31:33):
listened to our last episode and she texted me.
She said, I'm the white friend.
It's
Jessica (31:37):
so funny.
She texted me after episode two.
You are Cal, you are.
Kissie (31:45):
Sorry, I have 10%.
So we've talked about that, wetalked about that idea of
driving around like how that candiscourage you and just make you
want to quit.
Like it's so much easier to behome.
So I was telling her like,putting K in gymnastics, like we
tried it and then school startedand I was like, I can't do this.
I have a baby at home.
This is just too much.
(32:05):
Where R does her stuff like herewith her dad.
And she was doing jiu jitsu, butdad would take her and I'm like,
man, they're going to get to anage where, yeah, she backloaded
jiu jitsu, we're going to get toan age who is really good to
we're going to get to
an
age where I'm going to have to drive all three of them
(32:26):
because he coaches and I'm like,that is going to be life.
Am I prepared for that?
How do I ensure that I can bepositive through that?
Because that.
It's very hard for me when I'mstressed to just be positive.
To show like, this is good.
We're enjoying this.
We're going to do theseactivities because the girls get
home.
Now we're home by two 30, two 30to 8.
(32:48):
PM is a long day.
Monday through Friday.
And I'm like, I can understandwhy people do activities, but
it's hard to do them every day.
Jessica (33:00):
I think, yeah, there's a lot into, it's like the time
commitment of having your kidsin sports, the financial
commitment that you have to giveto the sports equipment, the
training, like just signing upthe uniforms.
Like I've spent so much money oncleats and baseball pants and
belts.
And now I'm just like, Iliterally just bought a new pair
(33:22):
of cleats before this.
So I'm like but then also, justlike we're saying, like the like
mental commitment of it too, oflike when they want to quit or
when they're, you have to trainthem a little bit at home or
continue to have them doworkouts at home and things.
So it's a lot of your kids andthings is there's benefits, but
there's a lot of frickingcommitments too from our ends,
(33:45):
which is hard.
Kissie (33:47):
Everything's hard.
Jessica (33:48):
Let us know what you
Kissie (33:49):
guys think.
What are your pros and cons?
And would you push your child?
To do sports at what, and whatage would you start them?
Honestly, what age for seasonedparents?
What age would you start them?
From, for those that have littleones what are your thoughts?
What are your sport choices?
Jessica (34:06):
Or even activities.
Because it doesn't have to besports, right?
It could be Yeah.
Kissie (34:12):
I don't know.
I'm looking at you and I don'tknow.
Is she wearing a onesie?
What are you wearing?
Jessica (34:16):
Oh, a hoodie.
Kissie (34:17):
Oh, got it.
Oh, Aspen.
Alright.
Jessica (34:21):
Aspen! Anyway, let us know.
Subscribe.
Kissie (2) (34:27):
That.
I do that a lot with the baby.
Does he laugh?
He does.
Kissie (3) (34:37):
He does it back.
Kissie (2) (34:37):
He goes like this.
Awww.
That's beautiful.
Jessica (34:43):
That's gonna be our screenshot right there is that
face.
Kissie (34:46):
Yeah.
All right.
Love you, Jess.
Miss you.
Luca wants
Jessica (34:50):
to join.
Hey! Oh
Kissie (3) (34:52):
my gosh.
Kissie (34:55):
It's like a whole person.
Jessica (34:57):
Okay.
Bye! Till next time!
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