April 2, 2025 • 32 mins
In this raw and powerful solo episode, Katie Zakrzewski lays it all bare. After 54 wildfires ripped across Arkansas—one of which devastated the historic St. Joseph Center in North Little Rock—Katie reflects on climate change, grief, frustration, and what it means to be a young conservative environmentalist in a world that keeps burning while those in power keep denying.
This one hits close to home—literally. Katie shares the personal significance of the St. Joseph Center, the sacred history it carried, and how it became a refuge during a difficult chapter of Katie's life after being laid off from Citizens Climate Lobby. Now it’s gone. But Katie doesn’t just sit in the ashes—she asks: What do we do now?
🔥 Topics Covered:
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The shocking rise of wildfires in Arkansas
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The destruction of the 115-year-old St. Joseph Center
-
Climate denial and conservative inaction
-
Grief, anger, and spiritual doubt in the face of loss
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The challenge of staying hopeful and motivated
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Self-care as a radical act of resistance
🛠️ Action Steps This Week:
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Take care of yourself: nap, shower, clean one room, watch birds, eat something you love
-
Put your phone down and go to bed 30 minutes earlier
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Be gentle with yourself—especially if no one else is
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Remember: you caring might be the one thing keeping evil from winning
-
St. Joseph Center of Arkansas – Donation Page (if available)
- Katie's article about the St Joseph Center fire
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Disclaimer: Green Tea Party Radio is an independent project and does not represent the views of the Diocese of Little Rock, Catholic Climate Covenant, NASA, or any of our employers.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Katie (00:04):
Hello and welcome to the Green Tea Party,
where, ah, we discuss conservative solutions to
environmental problems. My name is Katie
Zakreski and today I'll guide you through complex issues and
provide strategies to address them all while remaining
faithful to my conservative values.
It'll be a good time, so grab your mugs and
(00:24):
we'll pour the tea.
I learned a personal lesson yesterday
about caring for
creation and fighting climate change and
being a good steward of the earth because
(00:46):
something happened that hit pretty close to home.
I'll start by giving a little bit of context about
the place that I want to talk about today.
Um, there is a
urban farming, kind of like
homesteading, urban garden
(01:06):
center in
Northland, Ark. And I'm going to warn you as we go into
this,
I'm going to try to keep it together
even as I'm watching footage right now in the
background as I record this of what happened and as
I look at pictures of what happened. Uh, but there is a historic
(01:28):
urban homesteading
farming center in north Little Rock,
my hometown, called the St.
Joseph center of Arkansas.
It's, uh, a very iconic location
in the community. My family has
always respected the, the St. Joseph center
(01:49):
of Arkansas. It's very well known in the Catholic community
here, even in the community in general, because of all the good that
they do for the community at large, not just for the city,
not just for the area, but they do a lot of good. They
take a lot of grants. They teach urban development, they've got
a bunch of animals and livestock on their
property. I've covered
(02:10):
stories about them over the years. Even just five weeks
ago, I did a story on the St. Joseph center, uh,
preparing for a big celebration. A little bit of background
on the St. Joseph center for you.
Actually, pull up what I wrote today.
So the St. Joseph center of Arkansas was
(02:33):
square foot, four story, yellow brick and stone
building. It had a cupola, uh, at the top. It was like an
Italian style villa. It was built in 1910
as the St. Joseph Orphanage. The
Benedictine Sisters of the St. Scholastica Monastery
in Fort Smith, just a couple hours to the northwest,
worked with the diocese to open it. And it operated until
(02:54):
1978. And even after the
orphanage closed, Benedictine Sisters continued
to run a kindergarten and a daycare for the
local children there until 1997. And
even after that it became a retreat center.
And even after that it became the St. Joseph center
of Arkansas. Um, um, it's been used
(03:14):
as an art studio, an Airbnb, an
organic farm, a homestead, a
farmstead. Um, um, they have like
a farm to Table area, a farmer's market
area. They have lots of celebrations on the
grounds. You can do goat yoga there.
Beautiful, beautiful, wonderful place. So
full of history, so full of light and love.
(03:38):
Well, let's talk about
wildfires.
Just two years ago, if you
had told me that
Arkansas would have to deal with wildfires,
I would have laughed my ass
off. Because
wildfires are not an Arkansas thing. They never have
(04:01):
been. Even when we've had a drought. I
never recall at any point in my
26 years of being on this planet,
I never recall
having a wildfire issue, at least
here where I'm at in central Arkansas.
Never. Never. I, I, uh, like that's, that's
(04:22):
a west coast thing to us.
That's never a thing.
Well,
yesterday, Wednesday, March
19, uh, 54
wildfires spread across the state of
Arkansas. There were several highway closures,
several stores burned down, several houses caught fire.
(04:43):
There's been a lot of high winds, unusually high
winds, unusually dry conditions,
especially for this time of year.
And keep in mind that just five days
before this, we had several
EF4 tornadoes come through the state. Okay,
so climate change, I think
exacerbated some of the weather conditions here. And I don't want to
(05:06):
be one of those people who like, as soon as something even
remotely related to weather happens, I go, look, it's climate
change. I, I want to avoid doing that. But there's another side
of this story here and that, and nothing has been
confirmed yet, and I suspect it won't be for a long time because
there's still a lot of investigating going on from the
fire department, the fire chief, everything going on right now.
(05:26):
They've literally got, As I said, 54 wildfires so
far that they've counted up. But I've been reading some reports
on social media and in the news that some
folks threw a cigarette outside the window
during a burn ban. And guess what
stuff is burning down now. So all of
this, whether it's on a short term or a long term basis,
(05:46):
ties back to not caring for the
environment, whether it's in the little things like not throwing
our lit cigarette butts or cigarette butts period or litter
period out the window into nature
or taking care of the planet over a
long period of time to prevent unusually dry
conditions during a time of year when we're supposed to be getting nothing
but pretty much rain.
(06:13):
I bring this up
because yesterday around 5:40pm
my phone started ringing and I got several phone calls
that the St. Joseph center of Arkansas, uh, was on
fire.
And they're scheduled to have a big reunion
(06:36):
in July and they were getting ready to
gear up for their fundraiser and ironically, I think the cherry on
top is that yesterday was the feast day of St. Joseph.
What can you do a little more inf about what I
know so far?
The fires started, fortunately, shortly after
everyone had left for the day. They believe the fire
(06:56):
started in the attic. They
still don't know specifics yet as to
what caused it. I went out this morning to see how I
could help. Taking pictures, of course, writing articles,
doing whatever I can to promote the donation links
that they have. Of course, just whatever I can.
Um,
(07:17):
and the, the fire department and the police department were still
out there. The roof is completely gone. It was a
56,000, as I said, square foot building and
the cupola. Ah, the
roof, the chapel,
the stained glass windows, all gone.
Fortunately, God be praised. No people were hurt,
(07:37):
no livestock was hurt. All creatures great and small
are safe and sound.
But
115 years worth of history
is gone.
They, um. St. Joseph center of Arkansas recently
posted here just a short while ago,
(08:00):
um, and said that there the damage is extensive. I
mean I could tell that because the whole roof is gone and
we're supposed to get tornadoes today and tomorrow and
Saturday. So there will be water damage as well,
I'm sure. M and
I apologize that this is not a better put together
episode. But I think that
(08:20):
what bothers me, other than
the fact that this hit really, really close to home,
is that we can expect more of the same.
That people act shocked
that when we don't take care of the environment, the
environment does not take care of us.
(08:41):
That shouldn't come as a surprise.
And I think, I don't know, I don't know.
I don't know what to make of um. Just kind of feels like a
kick in the teeth because you've
got people who don't even think that this
is a problem in charge of
things
(09:04):
and a lot of the people in charge of these things, to them, the amount
of money that it would cost to repair a place like this is just chump change.
I think to a lot of the people in charge saying that these things don't
matter and that these things aren't real and that we made them up, that I
invented climate change in the middle of the night so I would have
something to blame all this on. Climate change does not
send me a check in the mail for name dropping it on this
(09:24):
show. Climate change
does not need you to confirm that it exists for it to
exist. What gets me mad
is that I'M seeing people with far more power
than me
say that this is not real.
And then I watch places that I love and
(09:46):
cherish, that my community loves and
cherishes that has played a significant
background in helping shape who I
am
become completely destroyed,
uh, as a secondhand result
of the issue that our
(10:07):
leadership says does not exist.
What do I do with that?
That's like losing my legs in a car
wreck and having the doctor tell me that I can walk out of there just fine the
next day, that it's all in my head.
It just sucks because, I mean, you know, you're dealing with this on
a national level and you think, oh, well, those things will never
(10:29):
touch my community. Here
when the clock strikes five, I can stop thinking
about climate change and how we could better
care for the environment and creation and I could just
resume again tomorrow at 8am
M. But I can't
because somewhere that played a really big role in my
(10:50):
life, particularly at a
really problematic time in my
life is gone.
Mhm.
(11:25):
Coming up on almost two years ago,
I was let go from Citizens Climate Lobby.
I know we promote them a lot on this show. It's because I think they
do good work. I think
that's true whether I work for them or not.
But they always say you never forget your first
(11:47):
love. CCL was
my first love.
Obviously when I was laid off from
CCL because
of budget issues and funding cuts, I
was completely devastated. Devastated is not even
the beginning of the
tip of the iceberg.
(12:08):
Devastated is maybe looking at the iceberg through a pair
of binoculars a few miles away
because I felt like
I had worth when I worked at
cco and you shouldn't tie your
self worth to a job, I get that.
But I've always valued and I still do
(12:28):
the work that CCL does and the extent to which they are able
to do that work and the fact that they put their money where their mouth is.
I think a lot of organizations talk about what they want to do about
the problem. And CCL does a very good job at acting,
doing more acting than talking. And that is not only
rare for environmental nonprofits, I think that's rare
for nonprofits in general.
(12:52):
So when I was let go from ccl, I needed to
find something to fill my time with and I
had no idea where to start.
I mean that I would not wish that on my worst
enemy. My whole identity has always
been wrapped around working and suddenly I wasn't working
anymore and I was going absolutely insane.
(13:12):
I found myself volunteering a lot at the St.
Joseph center, making friends with the people who
worked there, just hanging out there when I
had time, in between applying for jobs and collecting my
unemployment check, doing all the things that
defy my conservative
values. Um, and
so as a way to try to keep from losing my
(13:34):
mind, I often found myself out at the St.
Joseph center, mostly just to be around
animals in nature, just to get out of the house and
absorb some vitamin D. And
I don't, I don't mean for this to be a pity party. I mean, I, I really want
you to see where I'm coming from here.
I've been laid off from this organization that I felt like did the
(13:55):
most work. I still try to work for
environmental organizations to do what I can despite
the fact that the administration is telling me that the problem that I'm the
um, one of the, one of the most problem, one of the most concerning
problems for me does not exist.
And then the farming stead
that became like a comfort object for me
(14:16):
during one of the most grueling times of my
life has pretty much burned to the ground
as a result of, uh, the problem that the
administration says doesn't exist and that
I don't know that I'm m in a position to adequately tackle
anymore. What do I do with that?
What am I supposed to do with that? I know, I know we talk a lot on
this show about finding hope, about
(14:39):
not losing motivation, about, you know, when, when life
kicks you in the teeth, you get back up and dude,
sometimes shit sucks.
Sometimes shit really fucking sucks.
And you know what? I'm not gonna sugarcoat it anymore.
Shit sucks right now whether you're
a conservative, whether you're a Catholic, whether you're a conservative
Catholic, whether you're an atheist, whether you're not conservative of
(15:02):
all, I don't know anybody having a good time right now.
We are all dogs left in the backseat of God's hot
car. Where, where, who put
this guy in charge? But seriously,
I mean, it just sucks. And I'm tired of trying to find a
silver lining to explain why it doesn't suck.
And oh well, tomorrow is going to be a better day. And the grass
(15:22):
is always greener on the other side except
for when it doesn't rain. And so it gets
better. Burnt in a wildfire. And I, I don't know. I mean, I
don't know. I think it's harder
now than ever before.
Not only is it hard to be young in general right
(15:43):
now, in an economy that gives you a shit sandwich
to eat every single day and asks if you Would
like seconds. That
sucks to be an environmentalist right now
on a planet where there are more climate
disasters than we've ever seen before. And
for whatever reason, more first world governments than ever
before saying that it's not happening. Shit
(16:05):
sucks. It sucks. It
sucks, sucks. And
I'm trying. I'm tired of acting like it doesn't.
So where do we go from here? Okay, well, I like
having a plan. I operate with a plan. Using
a plan is how I work
(16:26):
on a small scale.
Here is what I want to do. And I don't know if this
is like Katie's free therapy session today
where you, the listener, get to hear all my problems for
absolutely free. I'm hoping at
least one person out there hears this and this makes a
difference to them. Um, and it validates the way they're
feeling. Since apparently nothing else in the universe or the
(16:49):
government can validate the way that
young people, that young conservatives,
that environmentalists in general
feel. Hopefully this can validate
somebody's feelings
on a community level.
(17:10):
I'm hoping the fire department, and by extension
the staff at the St. Joseph center of Arkansas,
will give us an idea of where to go from here. I have
a feeling the structure is completely destroyed. It's a loss.
I mean, it was 115-year-old building. A
115-year-old building, and the whole top
layer of it is gone. I. I
(17:30):
would genuinely be surprised
if the structure was sound enough to be safe.
I have a feeling. And you can,
Nostradamus, check on this later.
I have a feeling it will probably be bulldozed
to the ground. And I hope
something new and even bigger and better can rise from the
(17:51):
ashes. But hope
doesn't carry a whole lot of weight with me these days.
Let's find something that does.
On a local level,
I hope, for whatever
that's worth, that as the
city government,
(18:13):
the governor of the state,
local law enforcement, and first responders
assess the
causes of some of these fires, uh, you know, if they're freak
accidents, okay, we can't really do a whole lot about that.
But I hope that if
(18:35):
foul play was involved or irresponsible play, at least
at any of these things, that
obviously the people who did it are punished
accordingly and
that other people are deterred from doing similar things.
I hope that we can use this as an educational opportunity
locally, since we now have to be concerned about wildfires,
(18:56):
to talk about wildfire education, about safety
education during a burn ban, to talk about creation
care when it's incredibly hot outside, since we'll use Any
word but climate change to talk about what's going on around
here.
On a political level,
Zach and I have talked quite a bit about this.
(19:19):
I'm getting to the point where I kind of want to do something
about it. I almost want to start my own conservative political party
for actual conservatives, people with
morals, respectfully, um,
people who won't make excuses for
a guy who files bankruptcy multiple times but needs
your last $20 to be a
(19:40):
patriot. I don't think it can
continue. I don't think
there's a future in the GOP
beyond the next four years. And I'm tired of being a
stressed sideliner in my own party. I want to look into
the logistics of starting a political party.
I don't know that I'm the one.
(20:02):
Hopefully God will qualify the called.
I don't know. I want to research it more before I
jump the gun.
On a faith level, I have no idea.
There's probably plenty of watching or listening to
(20:22):
this. There's probably plenty of
atheists, agnostics,
non Christians listening to
this.
I. Oh,
I don't know. My faith is in a bad spot right now
(20:43):
and it has been for a couple
months more than that, honestly.
Obviously this is not a faith related show, so I don't want to go
too far down that path.
But, um, it's very hard to
keep the faith when
(21:03):
your heroes are dead and your enemies are in power. And
that's how things feel right now.
It feels like all of the odds are stacked against
me and praying and persevering is
not cutting it for me. And
I am, um, really questioning
the game plan
(21:23):
of a creator that I did not vote for who's overseeing
this entire thing. Maybe I put way
too much emphasis on my own intellect there.
I know you're supposed to trust in the Lord with all your heart,
but, uh, man, they sure don't make that easy to do.
Especially, uh, after what happened yesterday.
(21:46):
And to be fair, I would have been upset if
anything burned down because
basic human emotional integrity
and intellect should
equipped you should equip you with the empathy to say
I'd be upset if that happened to me. And I can be sad on somebody else's
behalf and that happens to them.
But for it to be something.
(22:10):
It feels like out of all the things that could have
happened, that the devil himself specifically
sharpened this sword to pierce me
with. And I don't want to act like a victim because I
know that there are people who are far more impacted by this than
me, but it didn't do
any Wonders for my morale at a
particularly devastating time.
(22:34):
Between everything going on personally,
everything going on politically,
everything going on
religiously,
environmentally. I mean, you name it.
I mean, I really don't know what to do and I'm not
going to act like I'm going to figure it out in the last few minutes of talking
(22:56):
with you,
but I did want to come on here and be honest with you
about this personal experience
because I feel like, especially as young people,
especially in a, um, media
genre, you feel so
pressured to make sure that every time you turn on the microphone or the camera,
(23:19):
everything you deliver is bubbly and good
and an improvement, and things are great and I'm
doing so well and I'm so happy. Nobody could
be happier than me. Look at my shiny new toys.
In m reality, we know it's not like that.
I'd be doing you a disservice
(23:41):
as a young conservative or as a young
environmentalist
who is living an authentic experience. I'd be doing you
a disservice if I did not come on here and be
authentic with what is happening.
Sometimes shit just sucks.
(24:03):
And there ain't nobody you can vote for, or no letter you can
write, or any phone call you can make, or any prayer you can
say that will
undo the instant suckage
of whatever is going on in your life.
Boo. Woo.
(24:25):
But I had a friend who,
for whatever it's worth, is usually the goofball of our
friend group.
And he said something that resonated very
strongly with me the other day. And
of course he didn't invent the phrase. He didn't come
(24:46):
up with the quote.
It was just an instance of knowing the right thing to say
at the right time. And God bless him for being the
one to deliver that message to me.
But I was talking about wanting to jump off the roof head
first because of everything that's going on right now.
And my friend reminded me the only thing
(25:07):
needed for evil to
prevail is for
good people to stand by and do nothing.
M
that sure is a whole lot of weight on my shoulders,
but there is something reassuring there.
(25:31):
And knowing that if I
want to do good, I
can't afford to walk away.
And, uh, for me personally,
it's because I really don't know that I can
comfortably look
into the eyes of people who have experienced
(25:53):
similar problems
and say that I didn't care enough about anybody
other than myself to feel compelled to do something about it.
I can't do that.
I'm sure other people can. I'm sure plenty of people
would have picked up their bow and gone home by now. Those
(26:14):
people are probably a lot smarter and a lot happier than me,
and at the end of the day, they probably sleep a whole lot better than me.
Yep, I sure do. Bet
they do.
(26:40):
But I would rather
everything burn down
after I've tried everything that I can to stop
it.
As opposed to me do nothing and everything
burn down and spend the rest of my
life wondering if I could have stopped it.
(27:06):
Hopefully there is a secret third ending where
nothing burns down,
where our efforts are not in vain
and our work bears fruit. At least maybe
before the end of my lifetime.
(27:26):
I don't know.
I hope the next time you hear from me,
I've got something more actionable
to give you because I don't want you to.
I don't want to become a lcal, okay? I don't want you to tune into
(27:47):
the show to hear me about everything related
to politics, religion and the environment.
That's not what you're here for. You hear that enough on
mainstream news. I don't want to become that
here,
but I do want to be authentic with you and let you know that this work is
(28:08):
not all sunshine and rainbows.
In fact, this work is rarely sunshine and rainbows.
But I think that speaks volumes about you as a person for
knowing this and continuing to engage in this
work.
Because working a 40 hour a week job is hard enough,
(28:29):
okay? It's not fun. And if somebody says
you tells you that they're having fun at their job, they're lying or
they're insanely blessed. But the truth is, a majority of
people don't have fun at work.
Especially not right now with everything going on
economically and socially and politically.
Because as previously stated, my
(28:49):
thesis for this episode is Shit sucks.
But on top of everything being shit
for you to elect to take
30 minutes out of your day
to hear just a little more from me,
(29:10):
well, that just means the whole wide world.
And that speaks volumes about you.
Because you choose to care when nobody makes you.
Because you choosing to care
(29:31):
is the only thing
preventing M evil from prevailing.
Action Steps Go take a nap.
Go pet a dog. Go
(29:52):
pet a cat. Go watch some birds, take a walk through
nature, eat your
favorite pizza,
put your phone away and go to bed 30 minutes earlier than
you normally do. That's your action step for this week.
Take a shower. Wash some
clothes. Just pick up one
(30:13):
room of your house or your apartment or your dorm.
Cook it a sweet treat.
But most importantly, take care of yourself.
Because I know that we're hesitant to admit when we don't feel
well in conservative circles, we perceive that as a
(30:34):
liberal thing to do. So if you
need a conservative to give you permission to take
care of yourself, congratulations. Here it is.
Take care of yourself today
so that you can be better equipped to take care of
others tomorrow.
(30:54):
For you, our listener, Email us with your thoughts.
Our email is infoeensea
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(31:16):
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(31:39):
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thank you so much again for listening and I hope you have a
(32:01):
better day wherever you are.
Sa.
Hello and welcome to the Green Tea Party,
where, ah, we discuss conservative solutions to
environmental problems. My name is Katie
Zakreski and today I'll guide you through complex issues and
provide strategies to address them all while remaining
faithful to my conservative values.
It'll be a good time, so grab your mugs and
(00:24):
we'll pour the tea.
I learned a personal lesson yesterday
about caring for
creation and fighting climate change and
being a good steward of the earth because
(00:46):
something happened that hit pretty close to home.
I'll start by giving a little bit of context about
the place that I want to talk about today.
Um, there is a
urban farming, kind of like
homesteading, urban garden
(01:06):
center in
Northland, Ark. And I'm going to warn you as we go into
this,
I'm going to try to keep it together
even as I'm watching footage right now in the
background as I record this of what happened and as
I look at pictures of what happened. Uh, but there is a historic
(01:28):
urban homesteading
farming center in north Little Rock,
my hometown, called the St.
Joseph center of Arkansas.
It's, uh, a very iconic location
in the community. My family has
always respected the, the St. Joseph center
(01:49):
of Arkansas. It's very well known in the Catholic community
here, even in the community in general, because of all the good that
they do for the community at large, not just for the city,
not just for the area, but they do a lot of good. They
take a lot of grants. They teach urban development, they've got
a bunch of animals and livestock on their
property. I've covered
(02:10):
stories about them over the years. Even just five weeks
ago, I did a story on the St. Joseph center, uh,
preparing for a big celebration. A little bit of background
on the St. Joseph center for you.
Actually, pull up what I wrote today.
So the St. Joseph center of Arkansas was
(02:33):
square foot, four story, yellow brick and stone
building. It had a cupola, uh, at the top. It was like an
Italian style villa. It was built in 1910
as the St. Joseph Orphanage. The
Benedictine Sisters of the St. Scholastica Monastery
in Fort Smith, just a couple hours to the northwest,
worked with the diocese to open it. And it operated until
(02:54):
1978. And even after the
orphanage closed, Benedictine Sisters continued
to run a kindergarten and a daycare for the
local children there until 1997. And
even after that it became a retreat center.
And even after that it became the St. Joseph center
of Arkansas. Um, um, it's been used
(03:14):
as an art studio, an Airbnb, an
organic farm, a homestead, a
farmstead. Um, um, they have like
a farm to Table area, a farmer's market
area. They have lots of celebrations on the
grounds. You can do goat yoga there.
Beautiful, beautiful, wonderful place. So
full of history, so full of light and love.
(03:38):
Well, let's talk about
wildfires.
Just two years ago, if you
had told me that
Arkansas would have to deal with wildfires,
I would have laughed my ass
off. Because
wildfires are not an Arkansas thing. They never have
(04:01):
been. Even when we've had a drought. I
never recall at any point in my
26 years of being on this planet,
I never recall
having a wildfire issue, at least
here where I'm at in central Arkansas.
Never. Never. I, I, uh, like that's, that's
(04:22):
a west coast thing to us.
That's never a thing.
Well,
yesterday, Wednesday, March
19, uh, 54
wildfires spread across the state of
Arkansas. There were several highway closures,
several stores burned down, several houses caught fire.
(04:43):
There's been a lot of high winds, unusually high
winds, unusually dry conditions,
especially for this time of year.
And keep in mind that just five days
before this, we had several
EF4 tornadoes come through the state. Okay,
so climate change, I think
exacerbated some of the weather conditions here. And I don't want to
(05:06):
be one of those people who like, as soon as something even
remotely related to weather happens, I go, look, it's climate
change. I, I want to avoid doing that. But there's another side
of this story here and that, and nothing has been
confirmed yet, and I suspect it won't be for a long time because
there's still a lot of investigating going on from the
fire department, the fire chief, everything going on right now.
(05:26):
They've literally got, As I said, 54 wildfires so
far that they've counted up. But I've been reading some reports
on social media and in the news that some
folks threw a cigarette outside the window
during a burn ban. And guess what
stuff is burning down now. So all of
this, whether it's on a short term or a long term basis,
(05:46):
ties back to not caring for the
environment, whether it's in the little things like not throwing
our lit cigarette butts or cigarette butts period or litter
period out the window into nature
or taking care of the planet over a
long period of time to prevent unusually dry
conditions during a time of year when we're supposed to be getting nothing
but pretty much rain.
(06:13):
I bring this up
because yesterday around 5:40pm
my phone started ringing and I got several phone calls
that the St. Joseph center of Arkansas, uh, was on
fire.
And they're scheduled to have a big reunion
(06:36):
in July and they were getting ready to
gear up for their fundraiser and ironically, I think the cherry on
top is that yesterday was the feast day of St. Joseph.
What can you do a little more inf about what I
know so far?
The fires started, fortunately, shortly after
everyone had left for the day. They believe the fire
(06:56):
started in the attic. They
still don't know specifics yet as to
what caused it. I went out this morning to see how I
could help. Taking pictures, of course, writing articles,
doing whatever I can to promote the donation links
that they have. Of course, just whatever I can.
Um,
(07:17):
and the, the fire department and the police department were still
out there. The roof is completely gone. It was a
56,000, as I said, square foot building and
the cupola. Ah, the
roof, the chapel,
the stained glass windows, all gone.
Fortunately, God be praised. No people were hurt,
(07:37):
no livestock was hurt. All creatures great and small
are safe and sound.
But
115 years worth of history
is gone.
They, um. St. Joseph center of Arkansas recently
posted here just a short while ago,
(08:00):
um, and said that there the damage is extensive. I
mean I could tell that because the whole roof is gone and
we're supposed to get tornadoes today and tomorrow and
Saturday. So there will be water damage as well,
I'm sure. M and
I apologize that this is not a better put together
episode. But I think that
(08:20):
what bothers me, other than
the fact that this hit really, really close to home,
is that we can expect more of the same.
That people act shocked
that when we don't take care of the environment, the
environment does not take care of us.
(08:41):
That shouldn't come as a surprise.
And I think, I don't know, I don't know.
I don't know what to make of um. Just kind of feels like a
kick in the teeth because you've
got people who don't even think that this
is a problem in charge of
things
(09:04):
and a lot of the people in charge of these things, to them, the amount
of money that it would cost to repair a place like this is just chump change.
I think to a lot of the people in charge saying that these things don't
matter and that these things aren't real and that we made them up, that I
invented climate change in the middle of the night so I would have
something to blame all this on. Climate change does not
send me a check in the mail for name dropping it on this
(09:24):
show. Climate change
does not need you to confirm that it exists for it to
exist. What gets me mad
is that I'M seeing people with far more power
than me
say that this is not real.
And then I watch places that I love and
(09:46):
cherish, that my community loves and
cherishes that has played a significant
background in helping shape who I
am
become completely destroyed,
uh, as a secondhand result
of the issue that our
(10:07):
leadership says does not exist.
What do I do with that?
That's like losing my legs in a car
wreck and having the doctor tell me that I can walk out of there just fine the
next day, that it's all in my head.
It just sucks because, I mean, you know, you're dealing with this on
a national level and you think, oh, well, those things will never
(10:29):
touch my community. Here
when the clock strikes five, I can stop thinking
about climate change and how we could better
care for the environment and creation and I could just
resume again tomorrow at 8am
M. But I can't
because somewhere that played a really big role in my
(10:50):
life, particularly at a
really problematic time in my
life is gone.
Mhm.
(11:25):
Coming up on almost two years ago,
I was let go from Citizens Climate Lobby.
I know we promote them a lot on this show. It's because I think they
do good work. I think
that's true whether I work for them or not.
But they always say you never forget your first
(11:47):
love. CCL was
my first love.
Obviously when I was laid off from
CCL because
of budget issues and funding cuts, I
was completely devastated. Devastated is not even
the beginning of the
tip of the iceberg.
(12:08):
Devastated is maybe looking at the iceberg through a pair
of binoculars a few miles away
because I felt like
I had worth when I worked at
cco and you shouldn't tie your
self worth to a job, I get that.
But I've always valued and I still do
(12:28):
the work that CCL does and the extent to which they are able
to do that work and the fact that they put their money where their mouth is.
I think a lot of organizations talk about what they want to do about
the problem. And CCL does a very good job at acting,
doing more acting than talking. And that is not only
rare for environmental nonprofits, I think that's rare
for nonprofits in general.
(12:52):
So when I was let go from ccl, I needed to
find something to fill my time with and I
had no idea where to start.
I mean that I would not wish that on my worst
enemy. My whole identity has always
been wrapped around working and suddenly I wasn't working
anymore and I was going absolutely insane.
(13:12):
I found myself volunteering a lot at the St.
Joseph center, making friends with the people who
worked there, just hanging out there when I
had time, in between applying for jobs and collecting my
unemployment check, doing all the things that
defy my conservative
values. Um, and
so as a way to try to keep from losing my
(13:34):
mind, I often found myself out at the St.
Joseph center, mostly just to be around
animals in nature, just to get out of the house and
absorb some vitamin D. And
I don't, I don't mean for this to be a pity party. I mean, I, I really want
you to see where I'm coming from here.
I've been laid off from this organization that I felt like did the
(13:55):
most work. I still try to work for
environmental organizations to do what I can despite
the fact that the administration is telling me that the problem that I'm the
um, one of the, one of the most problem, one of the most concerning
problems for me does not exist.
And then the farming stead
that became like a comfort object for me
(14:16):
during one of the most grueling times of my
life has pretty much burned to the ground
as a result of, uh, the problem that the
administration says doesn't exist and that
I don't know that I'm m in a position to adequately tackle
anymore. What do I do with that?
What am I supposed to do with that? I know, I know we talk a lot on
this show about finding hope, about
(14:39):
not losing motivation, about, you know, when, when life
kicks you in the teeth, you get back up and dude,
sometimes shit sucks.
Sometimes shit really fucking sucks.
And you know what? I'm not gonna sugarcoat it anymore.
Shit sucks right now whether you're
a conservative, whether you're a Catholic, whether you're a conservative
Catholic, whether you're an atheist, whether you're not conservative of
(15:02):
all, I don't know anybody having a good time right now.
We are all dogs left in the backseat of God's hot
car. Where, where, who put
this guy in charge? But seriously,
I mean, it just sucks. And I'm tired of trying to find a
silver lining to explain why it doesn't suck.
And oh well, tomorrow is going to be a better day. And the grass
(15:22):
is always greener on the other side except
for when it doesn't rain. And so it gets
better. Burnt in a wildfire. And I, I don't know. I mean, I
don't know. I think it's harder
now than ever before.
Not only is it hard to be young in general right
(15:43):
now, in an economy that gives you a shit sandwich
to eat every single day and asks if you Would
like seconds. That
sucks to be an environmentalist right now
on a planet where there are more climate
disasters than we've ever seen before. And
for whatever reason, more first world governments than ever
before saying that it's not happening. Shit
(16:05):
sucks. It sucks. It
sucks, sucks. And
I'm trying. I'm tired of acting like it doesn't.
So where do we go from here? Okay, well, I like
having a plan. I operate with a plan. Using
a plan is how I work
(16:26):
on a small scale.
Here is what I want to do. And I don't know if this
is like Katie's free therapy session today
where you, the listener, get to hear all my problems for
absolutely free. I'm hoping at
least one person out there hears this and this makes a
difference to them. Um, and it validates the way they're
feeling. Since apparently nothing else in the universe or the
(16:49):
government can validate the way that
young people, that young conservatives,
that environmentalists in general
feel. Hopefully this can validate
somebody's feelings
on a community level.
(17:10):
I'm hoping the fire department, and by extension
the staff at the St. Joseph center of Arkansas,
will give us an idea of where to go from here. I have
a feeling the structure is completely destroyed. It's a loss.
I mean, it was 115-year-old building. A
115-year-old building, and the whole top
layer of it is gone. I. I
(17:30):
would genuinely be surprised
if the structure was sound enough to be safe.
I have a feeling. And you can,
Nostradamus, check on this later.
I have a feeling it will probably be bulldozed
to the ground. And I hope
something new and even bigger and better can rise from the
(17:51):
ashes. But hope
doesn't carry a whole lot of weight with me these days.
Let's find something that does.
On a local level,
I hope, for whatever
that's worth, that as the
city government,
(18:13):
the governor of the state,
local law enforcement, and first responders
assess the
causes of some of these fires, uh, you know, if they're freak
accidents, okay, we can't really do a whole lot about that.
But I hope that if
(18:35):
foul play was involved or irresponsible play, at least
at any of these things, that
obviously the people who did it are punished
accordingly and
that other people are deterred from doing similar things.
I hope that we can use this as an educational opportunity
locally, since we now have to be concerned about wildfires,
(18:56):
to talk about wildfire education, about safety
education during a burn ban, to talk about creation
care when it's incredibly hot outside, since we'll use Any
word but climate change to talk about what's going on around
here.
On a political level,
Zach and I have talked quite a bit about this.
(19:19):
I'm getting to the point where I kind of want to do something
about it. I almost want to start my own conservative political party
for actual conservatives, people with
morals, respectfully, um,
people who won't make excuses for
a guy who files bankruptcy multiple times but needs
your last $20 to be a
(19:40):
patriot. I don't think it can
continue. I don't think
there's a future in the GOP
beyond the next four years. And I'm tired of being a
stressed sideliner in my own party. I want to look into
the logistics of starting a political party.
I don't know that I'm the one.
(20:02):
Hopefully God will qualify the called.
I don't know. I want to research it more before I
jump the gun.
On a faith level, I have no idea.
There's probably plenty of watching or listening to
(20:22):
this. There's probably plenty of
atheists, agnostics,
non Christians listening to
this.
I. Oh,
I don't know. My faith is in a bad spot right now
(20:43):
and it has been for a couple
months more than that, honestly.
Obviously this is not a faith related show, so I don't want to go
too far down that path.
But, um, it's very hard to
keep the faith when
(21:03):
your heroes are dead and your enemies are in power. And
that's how things feel right now.
It feels like all of the odds are stacked against
me and praying and persevering is
not cutting it for me. And
I am, um, really questioning
the game plan
(21:23):
of a creator that I did not vote for who's overseeing
this entire thing. Maybe I put way
too much emphasis on my own intellect there.
I know you're supposed to trust in the Lord with all your heart,
but, uh, man, they sure don't make that easy to do.
Especially, uh, after what happened yesterday.
(21:46):
And to be fair, I would have been upset if
anything burned down because
basic human emotional integrity
and intellect should
equipped you should equip you with the empathy to say
I'd be upset if that happened to me. And I can be sad on somebody else's
behalf and that happens to them.
But for it to be something.
(22:10):
It feels like out of all the things that could have
happened, that the devil himself specifically
sharpened this sword to pierce me
with. And I don't want to act like a victim because I
know that there are people who are far more impacted by this than
me, but it didn't do
any Wonders for my morale at a
particularly devastating time.
(22:34):
Between everything going on personally,
everything going on politically,
everything going on
religiously,
environmentally. I mean, you name it.
I mean, I really don't know what to do and I'm not
going to act like I'm going to figure it out in the last few minutes of talking
(22:56):
with you,
but I did want to come on here and be honest with you
about this personal experience
because I feel like, especially as young people,
especially in a, um, media
genre, you feel so
pressured to make sure that every time you turn on the microphone or the camera,
(23:19):
everything you deliver is bubbly and good
and an improvement, and things are great and I'm
doing so well and I'm so happy. Nobody could
be happier than me. Look at my shiny new toys.
In m reality, we know it's not like that.
I'd be doing you a disservice
(23:41):
as a young conservative or as a young
environmentalist
who is living an authentic experience. I'd be doing you
a disservice if I did not come on here and be
authentic with what is happening.
Sometimes shit just sucks.
(24:03):
And there ain't nobody you can vote for, or no letter you can
write, or any phone call you can make, or any prayer you can
say that will
undo the instant suckage
of whatever is going on in your life.
Boo. Woo.
(24:25):
But I had a friend who,
for whatever it's worth, is usually the goofball of our
friend group.
And he said something that resonated very
strongly with me the other day. And
of course he didn't invent the phrase. He didn't come
(24:46):
up with the quote.
It was just an instance of knowing the right thing to say
at the right time. And God bless him for being the
one to deliver that message to me.
But I was talking about wanting to jump off the roof head
first because of everything that's going on right now.
And my friend reminded me the only thing
(25:07):
needed for evil to
prevail is for
good people to stand by and do nothing.
M
that sure is a whole lot of weight on my shoulders,
but there is something reassuring there.
(25:31):
And knowing that if I
want to do good, I
can't afford to walk away.
And, uh, for me personally,
it's because I really don't know that I can
comfortably look
into the eyes of people who have experienced
(25:53):
similar problems
and say that I didn't care enough about anybody
other than myself to feel compelled to do something about it.
I can't do that.
I'm sure other people can. I'm sure plenty of people
would have picked up their bow and gone home by now. Those
(26:14):
people are probably a lot smarter and a lot happier than me,
and at the end of the day, they probably sleep a whole lot better than me.
Yep, I sure do. Bet
they do.
(26:40):
But I would rather
everything burn down
after I've tried everything that I can to stop
it.
As opposed to me do nothing and everything
burn down and spend the rest of my
life wondering if I could have stopped it.
(27:06):
Hopefully there is a secret third ending where
nothing burns down,
where our efforts are not in vain
and our work bears fruit. At least maybe
before the end of my lifetime.
(27:26):
I don't know.
I hope the next time you hear from me,
I've got something more actionable
to give you because I don't want you to.
I don't want to become a lcal, okay? I don't want you to tune into
(27:47):
the show to hear me about everything related
to politics, religion and the environment.
That's not what you're here for. You hear that enough on
mainstream news. I don't want to become that
here,
but I do want to be authentic with you and let you know that this work is
(28:08):
not all sunshine and rainbows.
In fact, this work is rarely sunshine and rainbows.
But I think that speaks volumes about you as a person for
knowing this and continuing to engage in this
work.
Because working a 40 hour a week job is hard enough,
(28:29):
okay? It's not fun. And if somebody says
you tells you that they're having fun at their job, they're lying or
they're insanely blessed. But the truth is, a majority of
people don't have fun at work.
Especially not right now with everything going on
economically and socially and politically.
Because as previously stated, my
(28:49):
thesis for this episode is Shit sucks.
But on top of everything being shit
for you to elect to take
30 minutes out of your day
to hear just a little more from me,
(29:10):
well, that just means the whole wide world.
And that speaks volumes about you.
Because you choose to care when nobody makes you.
Because you choosing to care
(29:31):
is the only thing
preventing M evil from prevailing.
Action Steps Go take a nap.
Go pet a dog. Go
(29:52):
pet a cat. Go watch some birds, take a walk through
nature, eat your
favorite pizza,
put your phone away and go to bed 30 minutes earlier than
you normally do. That's your action step for this week.
Take a shower. Wash some
clothes. Just pick up one
(30:13):
room of your house or your apartment or your dorm.
Cook it a sweet treat.
But most importantly, take care of yourself.
Because I know that we're hesitant to admit when we don't feel
well in conservative circles, we perceive that as a
(30:34):
liberal thing to do. So if you
need a conservative to give you permission to take
care of yourself, congratulations. Here it is.
Take care of yourself today
so that you can be better equipped to take care of
others tomorrow.
(30:54):
For you, our listener, Email us with your thoughts.
Our email is infoeensea
partyradio.com thank you for listening to
Green Sea Party Radio and a very special thank you to all of our
patrons. We couldn't do this without you. If
you're interested in getting early access to Episodes as well as Green
Tea Party Radio Merch, check us out@greenc party
radio.com if you have feedback. Tell us what's on
(31:16):
your mind and follow us on Facebook, Instagram,
Twitter and TikTok. And just so you know, this is
our passion project. We don't have any organizational
sponsors. Green Tea Party Radio is not representative of
the Diocese of Little Rock, Catholic Climate Covenant,
NASA, or any of our employers. We are building
a movement because we want the world to know that conservatives,
particularly young ones like us, have important things to
(31:39):
say about climate change.
If you want to hear our show on your college
radio station, email
us@inforeentpartyradio.com
and give us the details about your campus and your radio
station. That email again is infoeenteapartyradio
ah.com
thank you so much again for listening and I hope you have a
(32:01):
better day wherever you are.
Sa.
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