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May 27, 2025 8 mins

In this Weekly Insight, Dr. Ettensohn explores the deep existential conflict at the heart of pathological narcissism and NPD: the fear of being ordinary. Drawing from a recent presentation by psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Dr. Salman Akhtar, he examines how the pressure to be extraordinary—instilled early in life—becomes a defining and isolating feature of the narcissistic identity.

Dr. Ettensohn discusses the paradox of extraordinariness: how the very thing that promises acceptance and recognition instead fosters loneliness and disconnection. He explores why admiration and envy are poor substitutes for love and how healing involves letting go of an identity built on standing apart—so that real connection can finally become possible.

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