EP 220: The #1 Phrase That is Toxic to Your Best Self + The Decision-Making Framework That Actually Works

Are you stuck in the cycle of starting and stopping recovery? Always "trying" but never fully committing? In this game-changing episode, Lindsey reveals how one simple phrase is sabotaging your progress and keeping you trapped in what she calls "decision defaulting." Learn the neuroscience behind why "I'm trying" programs your brain for failure, and discover the powerful mindset shift that transforms chronic restarters into recovery success stories. If you're tired of living in the "maybe someday" space and ready to make decisions that stick, this episode will revolutionize your approach to healing.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• The psychology behind "decision defaulting" and why your brain prefers it
• How the phrase "I'm trying" creates neural pathways for partial commitment
• The difference between illusion of control vs. real personal power
• Specific language shifts that activate "implementation intention"
• Why your eating disorder wants you to stay in "trying" mode
• A concrete challenge to break the decision defaulting cycle this week
• How to know when you're ready for professional support vs. continued self-help

Key Moments & Timestamps

Opening CTA for Consultation (0:30-2:00) Lindsey speaks directly to chronic restarters and those hesitant to start recovery

What is Decision Defaulting? (2:00-5:00) "'Trying' is just a socially acceptable way of avoiding responsibility for your choices."

Client Story: Emma's 3-Year Trying Cycle (3:30-4:30) How one client's language shift changed everything in recovery

The Neuroscience of Decision Defaulting (5:00-8:30) Why undernourished brains default to tentative language and how trauma responses play a role

From Trying to Deciding: The Power Shift (8:30-12:00) Specific examples of language that creates commitment vs. escape routes

Your Decision-Making Challenge (12:00-14:00) Two concrete options to practice decisive action this week

Powerful Quotes from This Episode

On Decision Defaulting: "Decision defaulting is when you avoid making definitive choices because not deciding feels safer than deciding 'wrong.'"

On the Trying Trap: "When you say 'I'm trying,' you're leaving yourself an escape route. You're keeping one foot out the door. You're protecting yourself from the vulnerability of full commitment."

On Neural Pathways: "Every time you make a definitive choice and follow through, you strengthen the neural pathways associated with self-efficacy and personal agency. Every time you default on a decision, you reinforce the pathways associated with helplessness."

On Eating Disorder Strategy: "Your eating disorder wants you to keep 'trying.' It wants you to stay in that wishy-washy space where you're sort of committed but not really. Because as long as you're just trying, you're not a real threat to its control over your life."

On Real Power: "The power isn't in making perfect decisions. The power is in making decisions and sticking with them long enough to see what happens."

Language Shifts That Change Everything

Instead of: "I'm trying to eat regular meals" Decide: "I'm deciding to eat breakfast at 8am, lunch at 1pm, and dinner at 6pm, regardless of how I feel about it"

Instead of: "I'm trying to be less active" Decide: "I'm deciding to take three complete rest days this week and limit exercise to 30 minutes on active days"

Instead of: "I'm trying to stop weighing myself" Decide: "I'm deciding to remove the scale from my house and ask my roommate to hide it"

Instead of: "I'm thinking about getting help" Decide: "I'm deciding to schedule consultation calls with three recovery coaches this week"

This Week's Decision Challenge

Option 1: The Immediate Action Decision Choose ONE thing you've been "trying" to do in recovery and make a definitive decision about it today. Write it down: "I