EP 243: Stop Measuring Recovery Like an A-Student (What Success Really Means) + How to Overcome Perfectionism

What does success really mean in recovery? In this powerful solo episode, Lindsey gets real about perfectionism, the fear of success vs. fear of failure, and why trying to be an "A-student" at recovery keeps you stuck. If you've ever felt like you're not trying hard enough, not far enough along, or wondered what life would look like if you actually succeeded at recovery - this episode is for you.

Discover why traditional definitions of success are keeping you trapped and learn a new perspective that will transform how you approach your recovery journey.

Key Topics Covered:

⚡ The perfectionist's dilemma: Why wanting recovery to be flawless keeps you stuck ⚡ Two types of fear: Fear of failure vs. fear of success in recovery ⚡ Redefining success: From what you accomplish to who you become ⚡ The pressure of "A-student recovery": Why this mindset leads to relapse ⚡ Surrender and empowerment: Research on how letting go creates better outcomes ⚡ Daily choices over gold medals: Success when no one is watching

The Two Fears That Keep You Stuck: Fear of Failure

• "What if I don't recover?"
• "What if this is just who I am?"
• Staying in denial feels safer because you can't fail if you stay stuck
• Believing you'll never be successful at recovery, so why try?

Fear of Success

• "What if I do recover? Then what?"
• "What would it mean for my life if I quit playing small?"
• "What would it mean if I fully surrendered knowing it didn't need to be perfect?"
• Fear of the unknown person you'll become without your eating disorder

Redefining Success: Traditional (False) Definition:

• Professional achievements and career advancement
• Material worth and financial status
• Luxurious lifestyle and social media image
• Social status, influence, and popularity
• Body image and physical appearance

True Definition of Success:

Success = Who you become in the process, not what you accomplish

Success equals:

• Growth of character
• Developing skills and wisdom
• Growing in faith
• Constant growth leading to happiness and contentment
• Becoming your best self

Powerful Questions for Self-Reflection:

🤔 Where do I spend my time and energy?

• Inner focused (to be better) or outer focused (to look better)?

🤔 Am I putting one foot in front of the other?

• Growing character and fostering positive changes?
• Isn't that success?

🤔 What would success look like if I lived in accordance with:

• My core values
• Resilience
• Grace
• Balance
• Faith

🤔 Am I being honest to myself and others?

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