EP 251: I Lied to My Treatment Team ~ Why A Relapse or Fall Doesn't Equal Failure + How to Get Back Up in Recovery

Girlfriend, if you've fallen in your recovery - if you've had a setback, slipped back into old behaviors, or feel like you're not where you "should" be - this episode is for you.

This morning, Lindsey was walking her 7-year-old son Blake to school when he fell hard while skipping in Crocs. Through his tears, he looked up and said, "I guess I shouldn't skip so fast to school." And in that moment, Lindsey realized something profound: Sometimes the fall is required. Not because we want to hurt, but because without the fall, we wouldn't learn any other way.

In this vulnerable episode, Lindsey shares her own painful fall in recovery - when she was lying to her treatment team, telling everyone she was "doing the things" while secretly still restricting out of fear. Her results weren't matching her actions, and she felt defeated. But that fall? It became her turning point.

Drawing from her figure skating background (landing her first double loop took countless falls), Lindsey reveals why falls aren't failures - they're required education. She addresses the shame that comes with relapsing, gives you permission to be right where you are, and shows you how to get back up without beating yourself up.

If you've been too afraid to risk falling or too ashamed to get back up, this episode will change everything.

In This Episode, You'll Hear:

Blake's Fall: The Morning Walk to School

• How her 7-year-old fell hard while skipping in Crocs
• The mama moment of dusting him off and helping him up
• His profound realization: "I guess I shouldn't skip so fast"
• Why she knew he needed that fall to learn
• The parallel to recovery that changed her perspective

Lindsey's Recovery Fall: The Painful Truth

• When she was lying to her treatment team about doing "the things"
• The internal defeat of results not matching actions
• One side wanting weight gain, the other side feeling betrayed and terrified
• Beating herself up for not being "further along"
• The turning point: getting real and honest with herself
• Why that fall propelled her forward more than smooth sailing ever could

The Figure Skating Metaphor: Landing the Double Loop

• Falling over and over trying to land her first double loop jump
• How each fall taught her something new (angle, timing, fear, adjustment)
• Why it became her favorite jump BECAUSE of the falls, not in spite of them
• The parallel: recovery is learning a jump you've never done before

The Shame of Falling in Recovery

• Why Blake was embarrassed when he fell (other kids watching, teacher saw)
• The truth: shame isn't about the fall, it's what you make it mean about you
• Your fall doesn't mean you're a failure, weak, or not worth the effort
• It just means you're learning
• Why Lindsey eventually saw her falls as necessary
• How falls are setups for breakthroughs, not just setbacks

You Are Right Where You Need to Be

• Not where you want to be, but where you need to be
• You can't skip ahead or bypass the lesson