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April 13, 2022 • 36 mins

Jack Vidgen and Tom Whittaker chat ALL THINGS SEX with raging lesbian man triggerer and sexpert; Nadia Bokody.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Have I had some work done?

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Yes, bitch hard months, yes, bitch nice, yes, bitch.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
What we're that back?

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Wow?

Speaker 1 (00:13):
That was a nice harmony.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
I was just talking, you were singing. Okay, but like
I'll take it because I'm not cute.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
The tables have turned this week, so I'm having I'm
off alcohol. No, I've downloaded an app because I've been
partying too much. Like, yeah, it's just what did you?
What's the app on my phone's recording? But it's called
like days since and some i'me day two?

Speaker 1 (00:39):
No alcohol?

Speaker 3 (00:40):
Are you doing it for like a certain amount of time?

Speaker 1 (00:41):
To do it for a month?

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (00:44):
I know, but you know what, I'm drinking an apple
juice box and a drinking corona and I'm jealous.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
Wait did you do you call it a juice box?
I call them a popper?

Speaker 1 (00:53):
No, I know, but then I just think of ammal.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Yeah, I don't want to be drinking animal not again again.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
I think it depends on what state you're from. I
think that's one of those weird things, like if you're
from what state, you call it a pop or a
juice pot? Poppa? Yeah, I call it a poper. Do
you remember when you would freeze a popper. I'm like,
when you're in primary school, my mum would freeze them,
and then by the time you drink them at lunchtime,
they're like icy.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
No, that sounds nice, though, Will you freeze one for
me next time because I'm not for a month?

Speaker 3 (01:21):
Okay, Yeah, So you have to freeze them like the
night before, and then when you put them in your
lunch box in the morning at like eight am, by
the time you drink it either recess or like big lunch,
it's like slushy. Oh it's good.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
How's your Corona blessure?

Speaker 3 (01:33):
Sorry, I'm so sick still.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
I know. Okay, so you've been like mi Ia.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
So this is episode two, even though it's week three,
so apologies. Everyone was obviously dying for a second episode.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Last week, hanging out for the next episode.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
But I literally was dying. I had this apparently this
thing called the super flu I.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Can't with this. We're just fucking getting over this Corona.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
I know, my doctor told me about it, so I
went in, so I did. Okay, basically, I've been sick
for fourteen days, so sick. It was everything that was
COVID was like COVID symptoms the same order, like because
I had COVID in December when I was in London.
I had European COVID so much machic and then stan
so but like I had, you know, like the first

(02:12):
day the body aches and then the chills, and then
the sweats and then the headache, like I had all
of that. This started out exactly the same and the identical,
and I was like, I've got COVID. And so over
the period of two days, I did four rat tests.
They were all negative, and I was like, these are
obviously wrong, these are broken, right. So I went and
did a PCR test at the place and she was

(02:33):
like even She was like, oh god, you look so sick.
You looks like you've got COVID.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
And I was like, when someone says that to you,
you actually look horrible.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
Legit, I did. Look this guy looked so sick. I
was like I could barely move as well, like I hadn't.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
Been out of it for three days.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
And then that came back negative too, And then I
went to the doctor and she.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
Was like, I remember when you texted me, and I
was like, oh, what the fuck's going on? You're like, well,
I might have pneumonia.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
The doctor thought I had pneumonia because I had all
the right symptoms.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Pneumonia, pneumonia, pneumonia.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
Oh nice, pneumonia.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
Oh maybe I'm wrong anyway, I don't know, And.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
No, it wasn't pneumonia. After a couple of days, am
I saying that weird?

Speaker 1 (03:11):
No, no, no, but yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
Then it turns out anyway, she realized on like the
third visit that it was this new thing called the
super flu, and she's like, I've never had a page
of what.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
The fact, where has this super flu come from?

Speaker 3 (03:22):
Well, so when I had COVID, I was really sick
for the first three days and then the other like
four or five or six days. You're still really sick. Sorry,
you're still positive, Yeah, but you're not really sick.

Speaker 4 (03:32):
No.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
I was the same.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
Yeah this, I was really sick for three days like COVID,
and I thought I was going to be over tomorrow,
I'll be back at work. Fine, yeah, No, it was
like day four, day five, days six.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
I know. I would keep texting you being like we're
going to record this backing episode. It was days I
am dying in bed still.

Speaker 3 (03:49):
It was so I didn't come to work. And then
I was on I missed like three and a half
days of work, and then we were on holidays at
my work for a week. So my whole first week
of holidays, I wasn't even technically on holiday because I
was so sick. I couldn't do anything. Oh my god,
I actually you want to hear a funny story. So
because I was in my room the whole time. So
I live in the city in a really tall building.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
I came there a few weeks ago. It's fucking amazing.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah, there's like eighty levels in my building. I'm on
level fifty and the view is insane of Sydney, and
so right in front there's heaps of Merriton hotels that
are about the same height as my building, okay, or
just a bit lower, and there's my build. My level
is the so like the Merriton Hotel top level is

(04:33):
aligns with my bedroom level, so there's nothing. My building
keeps going up, but the Merriton stops there. So it's
still a really tall building for the Merriton. When I
look at it from the street level, I'm like, oh
my god, that goes up forever totally. So I love
to and I always have since I've lived there for
about a year. People watch in the hotel room across
from me because no one ever shuts their curtain because
it's in a hotel. Like, I never shot my room

(04:54):
when I'm in a hotel. I've never shot my curtain
when I'm in a hotel room.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
It's just something about it.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
It's like no one's looking I'm on holidays, but actually
everyone from my building is looking in for sure. So
the way it's like, so's I'm across the street and
I look down at like a good forty five degree
angle onto all the penthouse levels of that hotel, right,
And so they're all big rooms, all big, really nice bets.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
So there's new people coming in all the time. All
that time's a new show every week, every single day
almost it's a new show. For a while, they were
they were the airport quarantine hotel rooms.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
That was like the same people and they were boring.
But now the hotel's are like any like hot guys.
Every Saturday, Friday and Saturday night, there's like people that
like come in from like Woollongong for the weekend and
they go to the Star and they hire a hotel
room with like five of their friends, and there's always
there's a lot of those. And also some of the
bathrooms I can see like people just I can the

(05:48):
glass is frosted, but you can tell, like if they're
sitting on the toilet, do a poo, if someone's standing
doing all week it's amazing, Like it's amazing. I see
my bacaby all the time and watch people in a
hotel room would I would say, every single day. And
it's the best at night because the lights on you
can see in and I sit in the dark so
no one can see me.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
Just like the creepy.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
I don't think they could see me anyway because I'm
up so high anyway. So the god, it must have
been like maybe a week into me of being really sick.
I was seeing my balcony and I was looking downward
and this girl was lying on her bed with the
curtains open, and she was going to town on herself
like what finger bashing herself? Oh my god. Because I

(06:34):
didn't want to look because I was like, oh my god,
I feel bad. I'm watching this girl. You watch the
postal moment, but I couldn't turn away.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
Stuff.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
Also, she had the blinds that like the curtains open,
So like, if you're going to do it with the
curtains open in the middle of the city with a
building opposite view, I feel like you're maybe putting on
a show, like and that's not something I would normally
want to watch.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
I wouldn't have thought so, but it was so interesting
and it was.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
Like toys but was just just just fingers. And it
was far enough away that I couldn't see like close
up detail because like across the street, you know she was.
She was maybe like four or five levels down across
the street and an angle, but it was still very
clear that I could see what she was doing. It's
weird seeing such an intimate act that someone is doing

(07:18):
without them knowing and like feeling I don't know, I
don't know now I'm now I'm getting awkward talking about it.
It was so weird hilarious, and I was like, go, girl,
she on the bed going to town on herself.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
Yes, babes, yes, queen, I love that. Yeah, Okay, well
that's fun.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
So that's been me sick and watched a girl finger herself.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
I wonder if it's gonna it's all things sex this week,
because we've got Narnia Bocerty coming on, who's there?

Speaker 3 (07:48):
Yes, because she's got an issue with you?

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Was me, Well, I agree, I would I agree with it, sir. Yeah,
it might be a cat fight in the studio.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
We're gonna tatt her very soon. But how's your two
weeks been?

Speaker 2 (07:58):
My two weeks has been fine. But like I, I
wasn't gonna. I was thinking about telling this like last episode,
but that was like not too much. But seeing it
as it's like the sex themed episode, I'm just gonna
I'm just gonna say.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
It, okay, and it might still be too much.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
Put your mind back to Mardi Gras, and of Mardi
Gras the Monday, so I went to the ice like
last minute as you went to the poor party. And
I'm wearing this anyway, I'm leaving the pool party. It's
like ten pm.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Is this the caf turn pool party.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
I was wearing like an orange lea tard and I
was sprinting for a taxi in the rain, and I'm
almost at the taxi. I realize I'm not gonna slow
down in time, and so I'm trying to slow down anyway.
I slip, I flying in the air, literally land straight
in my back. My gooch slides fucking fifty miles an
hour into the taxi door.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
Was it open?

Speaker 5 (08:43):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Oh, because I was with a guy.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
Poor. Wait, so hang on, it's pouring rain.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
It's pouring rain.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
You are running, slip, I slide on your back, gooch
goes bom and you taxi door.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
Anyway, long story show, it was hard for two weeks.
What Yeah, I know, I know, flot twist. I was
like I had a semi for two weeks.

Speaker 3 (09:07):
Oh my god. I thought you were gonna say that
you maybe couldn't get hard.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
No, I you know, I don't know what happened. I mean,
I've seen a doctor. It's fine, it's all. It's gone
down now. But like, no, I was hard for two weeks,
like semi hard.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
Wait, okay, and I think if I mean, I'm no
doctor and my doctor didn't really tell me anything. But
I think it's because I think there must have been
some level of circulation cut off.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
But no, but if there was blood there and they must.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
I don't know. Anyway. All I know is I'll send
me for two weeks and still ended up going to
an orgy.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
Oh my god. Wait, Okay, So I've never had to
get naked in front of a doctor, and it's like
my worst fear. Did you have to show the doctor?

Speaker 1 (09:46):
I'm just sipping on your path. I did have to
show the doctor. I'm a man.

Speaker 3 (09:53):
Oh that's okay, yeah, old like middle aged okay, so
like just non offensive doctor.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
It was fine, okay.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
I was like like a medical center doctor that you've
never seen this guy before.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
It's my GP that I get my prep from, so
that would.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
Be so awkward. I've always at this all the time,
like if I had to if it was shriveled up
and soft, well, I think about this all the time,
like if I had to go and get showed my
so a doctor, my penis, I don't know, Like I
would just want it to be a random that I'm
never going to go to again. Yeah, I wouldn't want
it to be my GP that I go to because

(10:30):
I have like my nice, like private one that like
you have to pay for, which is annoying, but like
you have to pay and he knows me and I
tell him everything and blah blah blah, and I really
like him and I've been going in for years. But
then there's some stuff like if I just need a
quick script or like, you know, like when I was
sick last week, I didn't go to this one because
you've got a book in and I just been to
the medical center. You're in and out in ten minutes.
They give you a script that don't really care. They're like,

(10:52):
get out, here's whatever. And I've always thought that if
I had to show my penis to someone, I would
I would not want to go to my actual doctor
who I love, is going to like know me for
the twenty years. I would just go to some Randoh
that's fair, the Medicare bulk bill medical center.

Speaker 1 (11:06):
No, I get that, but I was I didn't want
my piece like fall off. I didn't know what was
gonna happen to it.

Speaker 3 (11:10):
Did you did you, doctor Google?

Speaker 1 (11:12):
No I did.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
I made sure I didn't because I didn't want to freak
myself out. I mean I was almost like it was
very hard. I SiZ ad the taxi door very hard,
so like and so I honestly at any point I
was in agony. I still got the taxi drop for universal,
but I was in agony, in such agony, and then.

Speaker 3 (11:31):
Did it go hard straight away?

Speaker 2 (11:32):
I also like sliced like my lego. I see, I've
had to see a chiropract because my bag.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
Wait, but so did it go hard straight away?

Speaker 1 (11:39):
It was really painful.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
And then I think later on that night I had
sex and then it just didn't really go down after that.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
God, And when did you notice that it wasn't going down?
Like when did you notice something?

Speaker 1 (11:50):
Like the next day? Like usually it goes down after
like when you finished.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
But like, no, that would have been a great time
to do like an underwear photo shooter thing, because you're.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
Like, I took a lot of nudes, don't well.

Speaker 4 (12:04):
On that note, sex writer, Yes, we're talking about sex.
Our first guest on the podcast Jack, she's your friend.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
You want to introduce her? I mean, I mean we're
friends now in chatting in the lift, but.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
Basically besties and future spin class buddies as well.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
We're going to be everyone.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
This is the gorgeous sex columnist, raging lesbian and apparently
incredible pussy eater, Nadia Brockety.

Speaker 3 (12:37):
Yes nailed the.

Speaker 5 (12:39):
Last Nay, I was just bragging about my pating skills,
like wondering where that came from.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
She was like, I need to pick up from this,
so we need to talk about the preceding skills.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
I don't know if lesbians are listening to this. Unfortunately,
Will Nadia was.

Speaker 5 (12:53):
Yeah, we need to board now lesbian audience.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, okay, guys.

Speaker 3 (12:58):
So basically we've got you, Nadi, because a couple of
weeks ago, you work at news dot com dot au.
You did an article that was it's called sexual double
standard in censorship of identical nude photos. The identical nude
photos we're talking about is yours and one Jack Vigeon's.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
And you know what, what a compliment to me?

Speaker 3 (13:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (13:18):
Ei thought your body is really hot.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
News your body is fucking amazing.

Speaker 5 (13:22):
Thank you?

Speaker 1 (13:23):
Bye, incredible. So what happened?

Speaker 3 (13:26):
Let me read out the like bulk of it and
then let's discuss because it's like fucked up what happened?
So okay, a few weeks this is written in your
obviously like first what is it? First place, first person.

Speaker 5 (13:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
A few weeks ago I experienced this firsthand when I
logged onto Instagram to find my latest posts had been
removed with a warning saying I was close to losing
access to the app for breaching its policy around sexual solicitation.
The notification read, your post goes against our guidelines on
adult sexual solicitation. Jack Vigion had shared a photo on
his Instagram stories earlier that day in which the singer

(13:59):
was facing a mirror completely nude, cheekily covering his groin
with a tennis ball. The fact that mine was removed
in his wasn't was particularly striking given the similarity of
our images, which had nearly identical posing and exposed skin.
But your Chestnadia was covered. You had your like cut,
your boobs kind of covered with your arm, so you
were showing less than Jack. The message appeared to be

(14:22):
like from Instagram, was that a man's naked body could
exist while a woman couldn't be unclothed without it being
a sexual thing. That's why yours was taken down. So
you appealed and the removal. It was reinstated, but then
twenty four hours later it was taken down with a second,
far more ominous warning saying that your account was about
to be deleted.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Frustrated with the lack of cal.

Speaker 3 (14:44):
I know flush, Frustrated with the lack of clarity around
what you'd done wrong and the parent double standard in censorship,
I posted my deleted image alongside Jack Vigeons to Instagram
stories to emphasize the hypocrisy, but was slapped with yet
another removal and reduced access to many of the feet,
which is I typically access as a full time content creator,
which we should say you do, Like you've got like

(15:05):
twenty eight thousand YouTube followers sixty.

Speaker 1 (15:10):
What did I say, twenty.

Speaker 4 (15:11):
Eight thousand ECUs two hundred eighty.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
I'm not good with big numbers. What did I say?
Twenty eight yes and eighty thousand. So you're not. You're
like across social media rules and standards and what you
can pose and what you can't.

Speaker 5 (15:25):
Yeah, Like I follow Jack and I thought that's like,
that's a hot image, and you know, I was feeling good.
I was doing my first solo holiday, was having a cocktail,
getting ready to have a shower, and I was like,
I look hot. I worked hard on my body. I'm
going to take a nude And then I sensed it
out pretty much exactly the same as yours was done.
And then that was when it was removed. And then yeah,

(15:46):
a couple more times they were basically like, your account
is at risk of being deleted, and I just find
it's so interesting that a woman's naked body is for
the male gaze. It's always seen as for the male gaze,
it's always seen as sexual solicitation. And man's naked body
is a naked body. We just don't seem to be
able to look at female bodies just as bodies. There's

(16:07):
always this idea that, oh, well, you know, you know,
you should expect to be getting sexually harassed by men
on Instagram because look at look at the sexy picture posing.
Look how much you know skin you're showing. It's like,
but if I was a man, no one would be
saying this. You know, Jack was able to just post
a hot nude and have it be that yeah, whereas
for me, it's like, oh, you're trying to, you know,
use Instagram for sexual solicitation.

Speaker 3 (16:28):
No, have you ever had stuff taken down because you
post a lot of like like funny vibrator memes or
like I said, there was a photo of you like
holding a vibrator. I don't know if you were like
selling it or like saying people like this is amazing whatever,
But like that stuff that if they're going to take down,
like a photo where you can just see your skin,
like you could see nipple, boob, No, not like.

Speaker 5 (16:48):
That and the fact that I kept I kept trying
to put it back up, and then even when I
did the comparison one putting it next to Jack's picture
to say, look, this is the same. It's two naked bodies.
One's a man, one's a woman. Why is one okay
and the other isn't? It's just to have it taken
down and then to have it also say, oh, you're
at risk of being deleted when obviously I you know,
Instagram is one of the ways I make money as

(17:09):
a content creator and stay in touch with my audience.
You know, that was just like an absolute slap in
the face.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
I mean, I'm gonna be really honest with you, and
this just shows how like, as a male, how conditioned
we are to think a certain way. When I saw
when I saw you tagged me, and I think that
was an before you wrote the column, there was like
an initial thing that you tagged me in. I opened
it and just at first time someone else shut up
and swiped off. And then that is and I want
to apologize to you, like, because.

Speaker 5 (17:34):
That's nothing to apologize but I know, but I but I.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
Want to apologize because I don't like that that's my
initial reaction to something like.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
That, it's not okay, it's conditioning. It is, and I
do apologize.

Speaker 2 (17:45):
But then after when you tag me again in that
in your actual column and I read it, I was like,
fuck me, I'm a cunt.

Speaker 5 (17:52):
You're not, actually, but it's social Well I know you're
not an here, but no, it's our social conditioning to
see that. Will women who do that where you know,
it's it says something about our morality or we're at
tension seeking, or we're doing it for men, And it's
like we can't just exist in our bodies and say, hey,
I'm having a moment right now, I'm away on a trip,
i feel really good about myself in my body. I'm
going to take a snap and put it up. It
has to become this extra thing that it's for men

(18:15):
and it's a listening attention. It's like the last thing
is for men. I'm a lesbian for so you.

Speaker 1 (18:21):
Know, So are you like, is it strictly puss?

Speaker 5 (18:24):
Strictly strictly puss. Yeah, it's funny because obviously as a
sex commist, you know, I've been writing very openly and
quite graphically about my sex life for years, and I
came out as I guess you'd call me like a
late bloomer lesbian, like I only came out like a
year and a half ago now, And so I think
there was a lot of people that were like, wait,
like you've talked a lot about like sucking digs and

(18:46):
writing dig like are you sure? Maybe you're paen sexual,
maybe you're bisexual. Even if you're My friends are like, babe,
you sure about it?

Speaker 3 (18:52):
So did you use to date men and sleep with men? Absolutely?

Speaker 2 (18:55):
Okay, but yeah, it's just not for you anymore now
that you've tasted no, do you know what it is?

Speaker 5 (19:03):
A lot of this is conditioning as well, because I
always saw, like, you know, women are taught that, you know,
male validation and particularly male sexual validation. And this does
go back to this Instagram image that we are. It
is the most important thing in life for us to seek,
and we don't really exist as women until a man
sees us and chooses us. So if you get sexually
validated by a man, it's like the ultimate form of

(19:25):
validation as a woman. And so I learned if I
can be good at all the sex things that men like,
and I say I'm really into these things, men will
really like me, you know, And I got high off
that for a long time, and it wasn't until it
was like a year and a half. Goo, I watched
a video by a bisexual girl who had come out
as a lesbian and said, I'm not by I'm actually gay,
And she talked about this concept of compulsory heterosexuality and

(19:48):
how it's thrust upon women that we get confused between
you know, feeling that feeling of excitement and nervousness that
a man is attracted to us, and genuine feelings of
sexual attraction. And when I started to unpack that, I
realized it so much of my excitement around men was
based off the fact that I was eliciting a reaction
from them. It was sexual attraction. Like when I'm having

(20:10):
sex with a woman, I'm like, Okay, this is what
sexual attraction feels like, and this is not what it
ever feel felt like having sex with men, like like
no offense, but like it's pretty easy to like suck
like you suck it take a few times and a
guy ejaculates. Like I'm sorry that there are women and
men who like brag about how good they are at
and I'm like, I don't get it. It's like really

(20:31):
not that hard. It's like sucking on a finger. Honestly,
eating pussy is a fucking skill. It takes work. Man, Like,
you can be down there for hours sometimes Oh really,
I really snapped my perenulum on my and it joins your.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
Tongue to your shit.

Speaker 5 (20:46):
Yeah, because I was like down there, and because it's
always like you're like starting to run out of steam,
and then the woman will always be like, oh my god,
don't stop, I'm about to come, and you're like, oh
my god, okay, here we go, like don't give up,
now going.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
But I feel like that's the same with some minutes,
like I'm about to come, I'm about to come, I'm
about to come.

Speaker 5 (21:06):
It's time wrap this up.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
Yeah, I've got lockdown.

Speaker 4 (21:09):
Watched Real Housewives people to say absolute but yeah.

Speaker 5 (21:14):
So I feel like, you know, I knew the things
to do to get a man off, and I could
do them very successfully, but they weren't getting me off sexually.
But I was confused because I was getting high off.
You know, if a man loved it's like, wow, you're
good in bed, or you're good at this, then I
was like I'm getting that validation and It wasn't until
I was really properly allowing myself to be present with women,

(21:34):
because I have been with women since I was a teenager.
But the thing is, it was always involving a lot
of alcohol because I think I had so much internalized
homophobia and that was the only way that I could
do it. And then the next day I'd be like, oh,
I did it because I was really drunk. And that
it was until I was with my boyfriend, you know,
a couple of years ago, and I said I want
to have an open relationship and he's like, oh, cool,

(21:56):
Like you want to have like threesomes and stuff, and
I was like, no, I just want to with women
and I just want to do it on my own,
like you're not involved at all. He's like, do you
want to sleep with men as well? I'm like no, literally,
just women. And then I did that fully present, fully sober,
and that's when I was like.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
This is for me.

Speaker 5 (22:14):
I'm understanding a lot now.

Speaker 3 (22:17):
Just really quickly, before we get onto the question, Jack
had like a bunch of his followers DM some questions through.
I just want to ask finally, like once it was
that you got all those warnings and stuff, What was
the end of the like situation? Did you get to
post it and keep it up? Did you speak to
Facebook or like Instagram?

Speaker 5 (22:34):
Well, this is the thing. See obviously I have a
bit of a media profile and I wrote a story
on it to make a statement about it. So I
reached out to Instagram. Obviously they reinstated it. They were like, whoop,
see big mistake, because you know I'm writing a story
about it, and I'm a journalist. I think the average
woman that this has happened to is probably just gone
on to lose their account. And even since then, I've

(22:56):
still done other images where I've had Instagram take it
down again, and so I'm actually at the point now
where I'm like, I'm just not going to post images
of my body because I cannot afford to account. It's
part of my job.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
Is it a bot's that sensors them or from people?

Speaker 1 (23:11):
Is it?

Speaker 5 (23:12):
I think it's a combination. I think there are people
who reported, and I think Instagram.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
Most people just need to fuck off. To be honest, Yeah,
just fuck off.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
It's happened to me once before, but I think my
cock was probably in the photo, to be honest, probably
should have been taken down. But yeah, those people just
need to fuck off. Yeah, but I've got some questions
that I asked some people. I think you directed some
people over from your Instagram as well to ask some questions.

Speaker 1 (23:39):
I said, what did I say? I said, any relationships.

Speaker 3 (23:42):
Relationship, sex questions. We've got Nadi coming on. She's a
sex like expert, and now that we know, you can
do lesbian questions as well. Perfect, Although we have no
lesbian questions, they're all from the gays that follow Jack,
and half of them are called Jack as well.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Okay, so I love that.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
Okay, So the first question, what is it?

Speaker 5 (24:02):
Joe?

Speaker 1 (24:03):
I was about to say, this is from this person,
but I said it was anonymous.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
Just say maybe first name.

Speaker 1 (24:07):
No, I can't because I said it's going to be anonymous.

Speaker 3 (24:09):
Oh okay, all right.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
Do you think open relationships succeed and if so, how
do you make one work great?

Speaker 3 (24:16):
You had just told us you had an open relationship.

Speaker 5 (24:17):
Well, it is really interesting because people's number one concern is, well,
if you open the relationship up, you know the person
could leave, like the yourisk, you know, they fall in
love with someone else. And obviously I was in one
and the relationship did end as a result of us
opening it up, because that was how I realized, No,
I end, did you fall in love with someone else?
I actually did fall in love with a woman the

(24:38):
series correct.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yeah, well I know a I don't know the old couple,
but I know a new couple. So there was like
John and Paul whatever, and then John and Paul opened
up the relationship, brought in Brad, and then John and
Brad fell in love, kicked out Paul and got married.
Oh my god. Yeah, so the new couple got rid
of I mean so like the original couple got red

(25:00):
of one of them, and the guy like started dating
the new guy fully and they like fell in love.
So yes, it ended.

Speaker 5 (25:06):
There obviously are stories of it ending bad. But here's
the thing. This is still this I stand by this,
which is that you can be in a fully monogamous relationship.
You could be married or whatever, you know, like Jack,
if you and I were to randomly get straight one
day and get.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
Married, yes, which I'm hoping is going to be the case.

Speaker 5 (25:25):
We could like you could still you know, go to
the office and fall in love with, like, you know,
someone who works at your office or whatever and develop
a crush on them and end up having an affair,
or you know, you can just fall out of love
with your partner. People fall out of love with their
partners all the time. Having an open relationship is not
going to be the thing. If your relationship is going
to break, your relationship's going to break. That's the way

(25:47):
that I see it, and I don't recommend going into
an open relationship for people whose relationships already on shaky ground.
Do this if you have great trust, you know, really
good ongoing communication. And also keep in mind it's something
you can revisit. People act like it's something, Oh, we're
locked into it now. No, if you say, like, okay,
we're gonna agree that we both go out and have
sex with other people. We're sexually open, but not emotionally open.

(26:11):
We only you know, sleep with other people, but we're
still emotionally monogamous. And then you don't like that you
revisit that and say to your partner, I want to
put that on hold for a little bit, or I
want to start only having sex when it's together, so
we only do threesomes, we don't do separate things.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
I think that's a good because he says, how do
you make it work. I think that's a good answer.
You have to agree on whether it's just sexual or
sexual and emotional, or is it like only sleeping with
people separately, or is it only threesomes. I think having
specific rules in place.

Speaker 5 (26:39):
I think sexually opening your relationship can be a really
great thing for the relationship for a lot of people,
because I don't think we are made to be sexually
monogamous forever, and I think sex and love are two
very different, separate things as well.

Speaker 1 (26:52):
Yeah, okay, next question.

Speaker 3 (26:54):
Once intimacy is gone in a relationship, how can you
help bring it back?

Speaker 5 (26:58):
Well, I think by not making it all about the sex,
by actually looking at the things outside of sex, particularly
if it's a relationship involving a woman, because there's been
a lot of research done to show that for women,
the arousal process is something that happens contextually, and historically
we've treated it as in men and women get turned
on the same way. Men usually get turned on reactively.

(27:19):
So like you know, if a hot guy were to
walk in here now Jack can take his clothes off,
you'd probably get a boner and be ready to go.
So a woman that's a little bit different. We usually
need a bit more context, as in we need like
maybe there's some sex thing being happening throughout the day.
We feel really loved and nurtured by our partner because
they remember to take out the garbage this morning and
they bought us flowers, or we had a date night,

(27:40):
we dressed up sex and we felt good about ourselves
and good in our body. So it's looking at all
of those other aspects as well. If you're bickering in
your relationship, if you're not getting quality time together, if
you're not doing other forms of physical affection things like
making extended eye contact, holding hands, kissing, then it's probably
not shocking that you're not getting into bed at night

(28:00):
and screwing each other's brains out, like start kissing like
teenagers again, just making out for ages and not having
it turned to sex and letting that excitement build. You
can absolutely get back the sex by doing these things.
What the reason the sex tends to die is because
people stop doing those things that they do in the
beginning stages that make them want to screw each other's tame.

Speaker 3 (28:21):
Yeah. Yeah, next one, this is more about like fetishes.
How do you address fetishes with your partner.

Speaker 5 (28:28):
By talking about them like your partner is not a
mind reader. It's such a shame we grow up in
such a sex negative culture that makes us feel, you know,
that sex is a dirty thing to talk about and
what we're into is shameful. We're afraid to tell people
about it, and I have to constantly remind people guys,
I'm not a doctor, I'm not a sex therapist. I'm
literally just a regular girl who writes openly about sex.

(28:51):
I mean, I know a bit more about sex and
the average person, obviously because I've researched it. But people
will often open up to me online, you know, in
my emails and das about you know, I've got this
foot fetish or I've got this thing, and I say, well,
what does your partner think about it? And they say
I'd be too embarrassed to tell my partner. I'm like, well,
you're telling me a stranger on the internet. And also,
if you're worried that your fetish or your kink is

(29:12):
so weird and it's so perverted, I am here to
tell you sis, it is not. I've heard all the things.
Go on to pornhub and type in your fetish. I
bet you will find over a thousand, if not over
a million, videos covering that fetish, proving how many people
are into that thing. We all think we're so abnormal,
and we're actually just boringly normal. The things we're into

(29:34):
are not that weird.

Speaker 3 (29:35):
That's what I was going to suggest, is like, could
you be like, I get something up on Pornhub. I'd
be like, babe, what do you think of this? Absolutely?

Speaker 5 (29:42):
I think porn is a great way to introduce your
partner to new ideas and watch these things together and
what your partner's reactions say. You know, how do you
feel about that? How did you feel about exploring that?
And the other thing. I'd say, if a partner comes
to you with a fetish, be open to trying it,
Like if I mean providing that is going to cause
you pain or it's not going to trigger some kind
of past trauma or mental distress for you. I do

(30:06):
not think you have to be into everything your partner
is into to give it a go. You know, if
my partner had a foot fetish, I'm personally not into feet.
I don't even really like, to be honest, having my
feet touched.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
Oh my god, I don't even like touching my own feet.
I also hate feet.

Speaker 5 (30:21):
It's not going to pain or traumatize me to have
my partner if they're going to get off by sucking
on my toes, suck away back. Honestly, be open to
exploring the things your partner's into, because good sex is
the result of good communication and negotiation.

Speaker 3 (30:36):
So do you reckon like could is it lame to
like make it kind of a I'm just thinking like
sex dice from an adult store like kind of a
game where you have like do we put kinky fitter
fetishes into a hat and like pull them out and
talk about them? Or do we like something interesting where
it's not just like I love that as Yeah, I
feel like making it fun could be a good way

(30:56):
around her.

Speaker 5 (30:56):
Absolutely, and don't make it in a hatt.

Speaker 3 (31:00):
I mean I.

Speaker 5 (31:03):
You think about that, like.

Speaker 3 (31:04):
Or do something like go and do something.

Speaker 2 (31:07):
Someone off with my foot before like much to both
my feet. I'm not I'm not in defeat.

Speaker 5 (31:14):
Did you that person ejaculation?

Speaker 2 (31:16):
No exactly, I'm not it for maybe it was like
a minute because he was into that, But I'm not
into that. But I'm like you're into that it like
it was hot in the moment, as long as his
foot's not near my face.

Speaker 5 (31:29):
Serious dexterity you have with your feet. So I don't
think I could do that. I want to do it.

Speaker 3 (31:33):
I just don't think I've got.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
Great hand out coordination.

Speaker 3 (31:38):
Strength.

Speaker 5 (31:40):
But you don't need a Do you remember shod just
jack off peopleolved?

Speaker 1 (31:45):
All right?

Speaker 3 (31:46):
Next question? Do you think you only get one chance
at true love? I had it a decade ago and
nothing since.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
I'm with your Brave four years ago, and to have
anything since, do.

Speaker 5 (31:57):
You know what I I just simply don't believe in
the idea of the I think it's just an idea
that's sold to us by Hollywood, and you know, maybe
like some dating experts to sell us stuff. I think
there are many the ones for us out there, and
it's just about you know, being ready in your life
to really, you know, put yourself out there, and meeting
someone else that's in a stage that they're ready in

(32:18):
their life to really put themselves out Their love isn't
you know? It's something that we have to work on.
We get told that it's just this magical thing, you know,
it's it's an effort. Love is about being with someone
who you know we're happy to be with in the
really shitty times and when you know, the sex is
dried up or the sex has gotten a bit boring,
and we're happy to actually sit down and have these

(32:39):
conversations about, Okay, how can we spice up our sex
life apart from going well, i'm done here, you know.
And that's something that we can actively choose to do
with anyone. And I think that's a really nice thought
to know that there's not the one. There's lots of
potential the ones out there for you.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
So this person is just needs to be in the
right place at the right time.

Speaker 5 (33:01):
Yeah, and just just be you know, be open to it.
Don't be resigned to the idea that you know, well,
I've had it and that's it and I'm done now,
because you're going to miss the opportunity to connect with
lots of other amazing people. And I think, particularly dating
app culture makes us be a little bit too much,
you know. It's this, you know, we've become very image
focused and we don't get to meet and know people

(33:24):
who might be amazing for us, you know, because I
think pre dating apps, we used to just you'd meet
someone at a bar and maybe you'd start talking to
them and you might not be super physically attracted to them.
You can be talking to that person for ten minutes
to go, fuck me, this person is so hot. I
want to back the shit out of them. But you
wouldn't have looked across them at a bar and thought, oh,
that's the hottest person in here. But dating app culture
has made us so image that we go, oh, their

(33:46):
face isn't perfectly symmetrical. I don't know about that. For me,
it's just we need to we need to be a
bit more sort of open to just getting out there
and meeting people. And the more people you can meet,
the better. Not everyone's going to be, you know, the
best sex or the best you know turn into a
great relationship, but you can make these amazing connections out
of it. And you know, I think it's just yeah,
it's it's about being open.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
I'm going to take that and run with it.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
Nadia, thank you so much for coming. That was so interesting.
I wish i'd send some questions to the jack CDMs
now because I've got things i want to ask. What
will have to do another time?

Speaker 1 (34:21):
I know we'll have to do that over a coffee
or a spin class.

Speaker 5 (34:23):
Yes, it's definitely a spin class. Look, I'm not gonna lie.
I am a little disappoint You didn't give me any
time to brag about my vagina eating skills.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
Listening.

Speaker 5 (34:34):
No, No, it's okay. Well, well we'll trust that. You
know I did mention that. You know I nearly snapped
my frienulum.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
So that's what it's like, the string under like the tongue, right,
that connects from the bottom of your mouth to like
the tongue, and it's the.

Speaker 5 (34:49):
Same thing on the penis. Think about you the head
of your penises, which, by the way, the tongue has
one enjoys penises. When you're sucking on a penis, you
should focus on that part.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
What do you mean, pleasure.

Speaker 5 (35:02):
There's a lot of nerve endings around the freendulum on
the penis and around the head of the penis, So
tease that part. Suck on that part before you go
like all the way down the shaft. It's like the
male equivalent or the penis owner's equivalent, I should say,
of a clitoris.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
Okay in there, I'm also going to take that and
run with that.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
Guys, right.

Speaker 5 (35:22):
Advice from a lesbian who once did sucker.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
Nadia, thank you so much. Follow you on Instagram, all
your articles off on music comm dot a. You follow
her on YouTube with two hundred and eighty thousand followers
on YouTube, not twenty eight thousand.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
Like I said before, exactly two hundred and eighty thousand.

Speaker 3 (35:39):
Yes, Anya Nadia, thank you so much for coming in.

Speaker 1 (35:41):
Thank you now.

Speaker 5 (35:43):
Before I go, I did bring a little gift for you, Jack,
because a little bit of a hashtag job perk for
me is I do get sent a lot of adult products.
So I brought you, Oh, stup thebe because you know,
we can never have too much.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
You have too much. What is a pump to So
basically you put.

Speaker 5 (36:05):
Your penis inside that cylinder and you like pump it
up and it helps. So if you you just do it,
like right before you're about to have a hook up
with someone, like just go into the bathroom and when
you come out, you just look like you have like
the massive, huge.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
Kind of like when you go to the gym and
you have like that post.

Speaker 5 (36:20):
Workout temporarily pump it up. There's actually as well that
you can do on like a Volda and just like
pump it pumping the air in there. It just makes
it look at that little bit more important.

Speaker 3 (36:30):
Next week we're going to need to report back to
see if it worked on.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
My penis will have fallen off.

Speaker 5 (36:35):
Next hookup will be like, Wow, I really know you
had such a big dick.

Speaker 3 (36:40):
I've seen those nudes that leaked and it didn't look
like bigger. Well, well, we've got to go because Jack
needs to go and use that right now.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
I'm just going to run the bathroom real quick. But
thank you so much for coming
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