October 4, 2022 • 31 mins
Jack is in MASSIVE trouble for talking and saying naughty things on this podcast! Find out why, PLUS Tom might need a nose job (not that he’s complaining) AND Jack has a great hack for how to find your nude pics quick sticks.
PLUS The Jack Off is BACK baby! Listen and Enjoy Dolls xxx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I haven't had some websigne.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Yes, bitch, you have some hard months. Yes, bitch my
look nice sign?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Yes, bitch?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
What hello? Hello? Hello?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Hi? Hi? How are you how I started?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yeah, we've started.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Oh okay. I I'm just like taking off my wet
socks because it's pissing rain. Down with rain and relatable.
Jack caught the train never again. I'm never getting a
train again in my life.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Every time you had like hadn't caught a train for
like ten years up until like two or three months
ago when I forced you. And now every time you
have done it since you've started using bubblic Transfer.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
It's gone to disaster. It's gone titsup.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Remember a couple of weeks, a couple of months ago,
there was like the pool all smeared on the chairs.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yes, And now today I was half an hour late
because I got on the wrong train from Central to
fucking Strapfield. Someone screened at me in Stractford. This man
came up to me and said, you're not from here,
are you? I was like absolutely not, and I walked
away and then I got on another wrong train and
ended up in Hornsby.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
You know, like did not like look at the sign
anyone literally, I've got an app as well.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I've got an app that tells me it would fucking platform.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I guess have missed or something like I must have.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I don't know. I thought I was pretty on the
broad But anyway, I'm soaking wet. My socks are on
the floor. Balencia is soaked.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
That's what he probably saw. The Valencia got white crinkled
leather handbag on a man and was like, you're not
from here.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
I am.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Anyway, it's meant to be crinkled, Babe's I bought it.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
No, it's crinkled, you know, because I wore it all
throughout Mighty grass weathered.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
No, it's that's the vibe. Though I think it was
too perfect. It would look weird like it kind of
looks better dirty like that and crinkled me dirty and crinkled.
Now we've got an issue.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
What's the issue.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Well, we were going to do a not tell all
behind the scenes secret. We're gonna finding secrets from behind
the scenes of the challenge. This way I was going.
I got in trouble.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I did get in trouble. I had a call from
ten Publicity and they're like, well, they called my manager.
They're like, just want to let you know, like just
remind you of like the contracts that you've signed, the
NBA's I wasn't actually going to give anything away.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
No, like I would do like fun secrets.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Yeah yeah, yeah, anyway I've gotten now we can't do
I can't do it. I know I've got in trouble now,
So ten publicity. If you're listening, I'm not saying a word,
but I will say, my bag got lost for three
weeks on the way back your luggage. Yes, I just
need to ran for a moment because yeah, my my,
and it wasn't even my bag. I felt bad with
(02:41):
my housemates parents suitcase and it's the one they have
a suitcase that you own, not a big enough one
because they said they were like, we only bring one
suitcase with you, and then I found out like the
people brought more.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Can I ask one question that maybe you'll be allowed
to answer, Yeah, do they give you like a pack
list of things you need to bring, like you're gonna need.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I'm I don't know what if I want, I'm allowed
to like, yeah, but everyone goes over everything I brought,
like thirty undies because.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Like, oh okay, yeah, we have to be prepared. Do
you like to wash stuff while you're there? Or is
it like, I.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Don't know what I'm allowed to say.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I'm scared.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
I'm gonna get fucking sued.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
No, but you can say like, were you doing your
washing like the Big Brother House or were you just
didn't go through all the clothes.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I'm not saying anything. I'm too scared. I'm too scared,
all rightie?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Three weeks? Three weeks? Yes, And fucking where did it
end up? Like? Where was?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I don't know, I don't know well when I when
I went, because I ended up having to go to
because I called so many, like multiple times and made
reports and everything, and then it just wasn't like I
don't know, it just wasn't escalating, and it's it's been
three weeks, and I was like, what the fuck do
I do? And so I went down to the airport.
I was stormed in there up to the baggage thing.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
You went all the way to the airport, all the.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Way to the airport for like ten minutes from where
I live.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yeah, but I had just been like, it's inconvenient, and it.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Was very inconvenient, extremely inconvenient anyway, So yeah, I went
to that and then there was no one at the
baggage inquiry area. There was no one there, and so
call this number and I called the number and I'm
like on hold, and I was like it was basically
the same situation, just call.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Out from home and I'm like, why the fuck am
I here?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Anyway? I saw someone like through the glass. I was
like walking by and I was like, hi, Hi, Hi,
And then they finally came out and it was a
really helpful lady. And then then she walked me down
to this like huge warehouse where there's like all these
just abandoned bags. Apparently mine was an abandoned bag.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Did it have your name on it?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
No? I didn't.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Well that's why because then they can't track you down
Daylen And when you go, I've lost my bag? What
color is it? Black? What's made of this? Is?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
This is why I felt bad is it's not so
much about what was in it, but it was more
like it was my house and it's parents bag because
they had a really big bag that they got at
the Olympics when it was in Sydney. Oh, and I
had like the Olympic sign on it, so years old.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Get rid of it.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I was very like sentimental to them. So it was like,
I need to find this bag. Anyway, found the bag,
It's all good.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Have I told you that I was in the Olympic
ceremony opening ceremony for the Olympics with Nicky Webster? What
have I never told you this?
Speaker 1 (05:12):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
So when I was in primary school, I was like
the best thing I've ever heard. I was an amazing
singer and yeah, and then and so we went through.
I was in this choir it was called like the
Sing two thousand and one Choir, and it was like
you had to do like ten auditions to get into it.
So even if you were in the choir, you had
to do more auditions to get into the Olympics. And
there was like, I don't know, five hundred kids from
(05:34):
all around everywhere, and we did all these like secret
rehearsals with Nicky Webster and like it was amazing. So
I was in the opening ceremony.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Oh God, if I looked at them, if I found
a video online, would I see you?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Maybe? My dad, I used to have like a tape
that was like a foot because the ceremony opening ceremony
was so long. There was like a VHS tape, but
it was a four pack because it was so like
had to fit on all the tapes. Yeah, and so
there was one point because we had like I was
only in like two songs that it was like the one.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Song in the financial ceremony of the Olympic. Yeah. Nikki
fucking Webster. I know she now these days.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
She owns a dance studio the Central Coast in New
South Wales and also does like a couple of bits
of media stuff. But a couple of years ago, when
I was working on the Central Coast, she came into
the radio studio and we both remembered the choreography from
the song. Twenty years on we did this like big
reunion choreography thing and it was the whole thing. I
still remember it to this day. It was crazy fun.
(06:32):
Literally twenty two years ago, I still remember the choreography.
How weird is that?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
But it was like, no, I want to say, I
won't ask for that right now, now do it?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Aunt j for the whole full full thing? Shame Okay.
So it was under the Southern SKUs. Okay, this was
like her main song. Yep, so it goes just remember
I can sing now he goes under the Southern skies
together in this lane, every voice in celebration, a family
(07:01):
hand in hand under the Southern's guys as one we
rise and turn our eyes to see all the one.
I can't remember this bit the co feet. It's all
some language, all the wands a their future in a
word of harmony.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Doesn't that mean you?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
And that's friends?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Okay, yeah, I mean I'm probably doing some of the
nuances wrong. But it's like, because there's so many like
nuances in sign language, like if you do one tiny
thing wrong, you like totally. But that was basically it.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Well, I loved that.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yeah, I was really enjoyed that. You're what are talking about?
Oh you lost your bags? I finally got your bag.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Stuff?
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Was anything stolen?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
No? No, no, no, no, it was locked. I just didn't
have my name on it. My mum was raped. Always
put your name on your back.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah yeah. Do you want of those people that tie
like a bit of green ribbon around it so you
know it's yours when you see.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Just stint handle it was yellow.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So I just thought, I don't know, I don't know
what I thought. I just thought everything I hadn't traveled
in a long time. Okay, I was just happy to
be going overseas after COVID. Yeah, speaking of have you
seen those stupid articles about me apparently complaining that I
was in economy.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
I love them so much, it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I was literally just answering a question on the last podcast,
Yeah that I asked you about to ask me economy
or I wasn't even gonna say. And that mole Megan
that from so dramatic write a really dramatic article. I shouldn't,
I really do you.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I don't know her, but I love her that you don't.
I don't think you're a male Megan, whoever you are.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I don't think she's a mole. I've just heard that
she's a mole. I shouldn't say that.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
From he who she's probably listened to this, like like
like that's what.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I've heard from people in the industry.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, well, people on the challenge and we're not talking
about the challenge.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
All right, what do you have for me?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Well, I did have a dramatic week happened. Okay, dramatic?
Where dramatic?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
When do you not have a dramatic week?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
So I was doing some shopping during the week in
the QVB. If you don't live in Sydney, this is
the like it's like a ye oldie building and it
looks like carrots in what it's like. But I'm doing
some shopping in the QVB and it's like they've kind
of it's like an old building, but there's very new
(09:27):
bits and some of the shops are like underground floor
have been renovated recently, and it's kind of you where
I live, so I always walk under there. But I
had an accident the other day where I walked into
a brand new glass wall that didn't used to be there.
Oh you're used to.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Like walking around there and you.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Well, yes, I walked through there pretty much every day,
but this glass warll never used to be there, and
they've renovated part of it recently.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Dare they put that there?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
It was so clean I can't even tell you, Like,
I don't know how I did it. I was walking
out of Mecca and I saw Sunglass our hut was
having a sale, and that's kind of opposite. You be lined.
I be lined for the sunglass hut. Yes, and they
have two glass walls, which one of them has the
sunglasses on, but it's a half a wall and you
can't tell that. It's like that looks like the start
(10:15):
of the shop, okay, but there's like a foot between
that wall and the actual wall of the shop, which
is like in the mall that's made of glass. And
I didn't see it and it didn't used to be
so far around or so proud, or maybe it always
has like decal stickers on it. I don't know, but
you know when Aladdin sees the lamp in Aladdin's and
(10:35):
I was like, oh, and I just be lined for them.
And also it was like kind of I remember no
one kind of being there, like so maybe it was
like six o'clock at night or something, or like six
thirty or seven o'clock like that, no one was really there,
because if I would have died if people had seen
me bash into the wall and like been like.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I wish we could find the cct Oh.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
My god, I know. I actually looked up for CCTV
cameras because like I was mortivate, I was so od virus.
But it was the hardest, loudest thud and I don't
know yet it was all my nose and it felt
for about a week. This happened like maybe ten days ago.
For about a week, it was so painful, like to touch,
(11:15):
to sneeze, to blow my nose, everything. It was so
fucking painful. Once it happened, I was so in shock
and embarrassed that no one saw me. So I tried
to play it cool and I went into the shop
and the shop was and was like, hey, how are
you going, So she didn't It was the loudest thud.
I can't even tell you she didn't even hear it
because she just or maybe didn't know it.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
So no one saw it.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
No one, not that I saw, because I did it here.
I did a look around. But anyway, so when I
went in and just tried to play court, but it
was so painful, I had to leave and I was
thought felt like my nose was bleeding.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
It okay, now, it's.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Okay now, but I've what a very thin nose? Okay,
like it's very thin and delicate. Yeah, it's skinny nose.
So when I went to look at it in the bathroom,
it was so swollen and I was like, oh my god,
it felt like it was bleeding, but there was no blod,
no blood. But then when I woke back, I had
to walk back past the thing to get home. I
looked and there was a huge, big smudge like on
the glass. There was like the shape of my nose
(12:08):
and oh my face. Should take a photo I did have?
Maybe they did take a phone. I can't remember.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Let me have a look at take a photo everything, sir.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I know, because I did think at the time I
should take a photo of this, but I can't remember
I actually did because I was so traumatized. But oh
my god, it was the I just cannot the noise
in my head still. I'll never forget it. It was
so loud, so painful, and every time now I walk
past and I'm.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Like traumatized, never going back into a sunglass hut.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Let me see if it's here. I shouldn't say that.
Maybe the response of the show we love sunglas.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
We love sunglasses and sunglass hut.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Where's the cup of bit?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
We might be in luck?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
No, do you actually have one?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Maybe I'm using that thing because I have so many maps,
so many photos and screenshots the map. I'm using the
map thing because I don't know where it will be,
like even ten days go to try and find It's like, anno,
that's how I find my nudes, oh, because you know,
you took them all a home or like some next
place whatever, and I'm I can't maybe I didn't take
(13:08):
a photo, but I remember, I remember being like as
I walked past.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
But anyway, well that's a bit of a shit show.
Yeah that happened.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
But my nose is okay now. But that was very
embarrassing because that's never happened to me.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I wouldn't mind that happening to me. Excuse to get
a nose job.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
That's the only thing I thought, Oh my god, maybe
people to get a nose job if my noses than
houw to shape anything.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
My friend's getting a revision nose job in two.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Weeks and being the first job was bad.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
No, it was actually really good, but they just weren't
happy with a couple of little things, and so they're
getting a revision. And we actually actually messaged. We're messaging messaging,
we're texting two days ago, and they need to quit
vaping because obviously like vaping and stuff and like, I
don't know, I don't know actually why.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Maybe infect the nose.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Yeah, and it like affects like post nose jobs. It's
part of recovery. I just can't vape smoke all that
kind of stuff anyway. So I was like, okay, I
will I will quit vaping with you because I'm back.
I'm back on vaping. I'm not sure if you know
I'm back vaping after the vape blop in my mouth
and still vaping.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
All the oil was in your mouth, oil.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Was in my mouth. But I was like, i'll quit
with you. I will do it together. And so I
when was this yesterday or the day not two days ago?
So I send him a video like the morning of
that we're both quitting. I send him a video and
I'm throwing my vape in the bin and he's like, yes,
we can do it. And then it gets to like
six pm. I haven't had a vape. I'm like shaking,
(14:29):
and I'm facetiming my friend who's getting the nose job
that has to quit vaping, who doesn't tell me he
was vaping?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Vaped?
Speaker 1 (14:36):
He was vaping on the FaceTime and I was like,
what the fuck, No, it's in two weeks.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Oh, you gotta quit that early.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Yeah, And so he was vaping and I was like,
come over to my house right now and bring your vapor.
I'm shaking in my boots and so yeah, I came
and then I took his vape and I was like,
I'm going to take this, so you can't vape because
you're the one getting the nose job. But I'm not
quitting vaping anymore. But so I took his vape and
I've got it right here. I can't vape in here,
can I?
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I mean, the official rule is no.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Anyway, So that's a little fun vaping story again. So
now I've got his right here actually.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
And are you going to use it? You're back on
a total.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Well, I'm I'm I My plan is to quit again.
I might take another rape blowing up in my mouth
to quit. But I have stopped drinking and it's only
been five days again again, but it's been five days. Yeah,
but I'm going to do until Halloween. Okay, at least
I'm saying about a month. Yeah, about a month, but
over a month.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Today's the thirtieth, and I assume, but.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yeah, my friend's birthday, and I was like, we're gonna
have a kiki. So I'm at least I'm just a
shorter goal this time, because I think last time, I
don't know, the last goal was a month, wasn't it.
I didn't make it.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Yeah, I think I will do it this time. Every
I feel like every time you come in, which is good,
you stopped and then started again, like you've stopped again,
and then the next week it'll be vabes, I've stopped.
Well I started.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
This is to hold me accountable. But anyway, I at
least what will I think will help me is I'm
never fucking going out again, because last I was, I
was out that.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
The next week I'm back to going out again.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah you know, I was out and because I was
just with a group of friends, like it was dark
and universal, and I was like, hey, like, nice to
meet you. I'm Jack, and they gave me the dirtiest
look and they were like before and I was like, oh.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I'm how is a celebrity mentor?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And shut up, like no matter who.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
You are, like meeting fancy, shut.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Up no, because like that's not what I'm thinking, Like
in my I just haven't. I just think that I
haven't met this person before, and I say hello, nice
to meet you, very nicely. Then they give me the
dirtiest reaction and they were so pissed off. And we've
met before and I was like, oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I was.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I was like trying to think of every excuse on
the sun, and I was like, well, nice to see you,
and they were so dirty about it and so pissed off.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Oh my god, and it just gave me the shits.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
It gave me like and I'm like, don't ruin my
night with your bad attitude just because I can't remember
who you are. We've probably met it some fucking kick
ons that.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Yeah, exactly, I am exactly like five years ago and
it's not like and also who cares exactly get over it? Duh.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
It just gave me the shits.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
So'm I don't want to get saying this, but obviously
someone is going to remember meeting you, but like but not.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Even not even like just if you whoever you are,
like if you some if you've met someone and they
don't remember meeting you, let it go.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I know. I actually no, because I have a friend
that I'm friends with and his friend. If I reckon,
I've met this guy ten fifteen times, he's been to
my house before, and but it's like he's friends of
friends and I don't care for this person. To be fair,
(17:56):
I don't remember his name. But but it's because it's
the left to the I've been left at this our taste.
But I'm one of those people that never forgets a face.
But I forget everyone's name. Do you remember faces? Obviously
what time in the morning. I'll never forget someone's face,
and I'll know I know somewhere and I can usually
place them pretty quick.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
I just so bad with names.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Yes, but like, okay, so keep going.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Oh anyway, Yes, So anyway, this guy I've met like
literally ten or fifteen times, h every single time, and
he's a nobody every single time, like as in like
it's not like someone like that's important to me or
that I need to know that I want to be
friends with. Every single time he goes, oh my god,
nice to meet you, and I'm like, are you legit?
Speaker 1 (18:40):
And but do you feel like it's on purpose?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Okay, so that's the difference. I feel like I can't
that what gave me the ships is because I feel
like I did. I did so much scrambling to make
because I can't. I don't want him to feel bad.
I like this is I didn't have the ships. In
the moment, I was very I felt horrible, and I
was like, I just I want to make sure you okay.
I feel really bad, and he just kept he met
me with hostel. That's why I've got the ships now.
I didn't have the ships in the moment, but looking
(19:02):
back at the situation, I was like, fuck you for
trying to ruin my night.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
From now on, I'm just I'm saying nice to see
you to absolutely everybody.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I do that a lot.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
I do.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
I never say nice to meet.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
I do in a work setting for you, good to
see you.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
For years in a work capacity, I've always said nice
to see you, and like back in the day as well,
when I was like singing, more like when I would
do meet and greets, I would like and everything, all
that kind of stuff, I would always say nice to
see you, just so everyone doesn't. I don't know, if
you have met someone before, you just don't want them
to feel like shit if you have met the exactly,
and I'm not kind of I don't want someone. I
want people to feel good like. But now, even in
(19:41):
a club setting, I'm just gonna say nice to see you. Actually,
I'm not gonna go to clubs anymore.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Or it was just saying, hatel, how you going, and
get some branding in there.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
I do normally hate all.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Ready anybody you listen Spotify music? How you how you doing?
Speaker 1 (19:58):
All that time I'm gonna regreeting.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
I never offer a question. I always say hi, dol,
hey Dal dolor dal one of the two, and I
never offer it up another question. Or sometimes I'll just
say like, how you going? How are you doing? That's it,
and then it's up to someone else, like you know.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Absolutely even later that night someone else, like I was
saying hello to someone. I think they said hey or
hey dialing or whatever at the bar and then they
were like, you don't remember me, do you?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
I hate when people say that, just like what do
you want me to say in this moment?
Speaker 1 (20:29):
No, I don't, and fuck off. On that note, sorry,
have a bitch today.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
On that note, we're going to take a break. Allay
back into say let bitch, we're back, we'll back. Was
that good?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
That was really great? Actually I can still sing.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Look if it's in the right key and it's the
right song, it sounds okay like I'd probably get to
like Hollywood if it was American idol, but I probably
wouldn't get to the top twelve.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Oh I saw Australian I was coming back.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I know, I gotta be exciting.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Kyle and Meghan trainer and audition funk off.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
No, seriously, why.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Would I audition for Australian Idol to.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Get on idol? Why not? I'm Syria. It's one of
the only I've been on fucking everything I know, but
this is one of the relatives you haven't been on,
so this one could tick this one off your box
as well.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
No, no, there's no more boxes to tick. Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
If you want Australian Idol, audition for.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Idol and learn if you want an idol, I don't
want Australia's got talent. And I'm sounding like an ego
to School of Ship today, aren't I Not at all?
Not at all?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Okay, what we're talking about now, I don't know. But
I'm so.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I'm going home after this to film a real But
I need some advice because I'm so I'm working with
love honey you know. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, with like
sex toys and stuff and.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Oh yeah she told us that last week.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah, but I need to film this real and I'm
trying to. I've got to like, I don't know what
to do?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
What kind of real You got a film with sex toss?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
That's what my house said, like I need you to
film something for me. And I showed them the package
and they're like, what do you mean? Are you starting
only fans? No, it's like a it's like an advent calendar,
but for sex toys. So like each stayed there. No,
it's no for this month. But it's very fun, very festive,
not in a Christmasy way.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
But what what do you have to do? Tobo way?
Speaker 1 (22:26):
That's the thing. Whatever I need to I need to
get creative with it.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
So how was it an actual advent? How do we
get to open the drawers and boxes and like pool.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Somethingah and you pull out like a little like vibrating
butt club.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
How many presents do you have to open?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
No, it's like one. It's like a box and you're like,
kind of I don't really know.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
To be honest, So you're kind of doing an unboxing.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
It's like an.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Unboxing, okay, and do you know what's in it yet?
Or not? Not yet?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
I had a little squize.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
There's some fun things and so what are you gonna
do for the for the video? Well, I don't know,
that's the thing I want to do. I'm I'm like,
maybe funny angle could be like you play dumb and
you don't know, like you pull on and you're like, oh,
what's this a back massage? But it's like a three.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
I was thinking about going like a sexy route, not
the the funny route.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
It could be funny though, to be to like play dumb.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
So there's like lots of different things in the advent calendar,
but I don't know what I'm gonna like use that
I'm not used out of it, but like at least
I'll use everything in it. But like what I'm gonna
make the focus of the reel of maybe like one
of the bat plugs or like, I don't know, something
to do with anal pleasure.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Well you could do actually, this might be good. So
back when I was in year nine, this is like
I don't oh this poor girl. This is just triggered
me with the anal. Back when I was in year.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Nine nine, there was this girl who we.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Went to school camp like that was called like like
a year leadership camp or something was at the start
of the year. And there was this girl who her
name was Arianna, as in like Ariana Grande yes. And
but at the time no one had heard of that name,
so it was like really exotic. And there was a
rumor that started at camp that she'd had anal. And
(24:12):
so somehow, somehow, two girls in my year came up
with the name instead of Ariana, Arianal.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
A couple of bitches.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
And then on the way on the way back on
the bus, on the way home from camp, they came
up with a song and they the Arianal song.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
That is cruel, You're a bitch.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
And to this day I sang remember that a no.
At the time, no, but it became like poor Arianal.
She left quite soon after that. She went to another
She was so nice, but she cares if well, because
there's year nine. It was like school camp, a whole thing.
And so she left not long after. But and after
(25:03):
she left, everyone would talk about it all the time
and sing the song. All up until your twelve, we
would always sing that Arianal song. And I still remember it.
Do you want to hear it? It was so and
the two girls that made it up got expect not expel.
What's the other one? Suspended?
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Good?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
They should get expelled.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
It's horrible.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Do you want to hear the Arinal song? I don't
know you do. It's hilarious right, oh god, it's actually
very rude. Already behind behind. She likes it behind right
up her bum. There goes that come behind behind. She's
seen it big, she's seen us all, but this time
she don't see it all because it's behind behind. That's fuck.
(25:43):
Oh god, that's what you get from you nine girls.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Oh my god. I left in you know, and so
I missed I missed the anal jokes.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
We've been a lot at your school were you left?
That was? Yeah, that was so you could take that
song and get the butt plug from Love Honey and
do like you can do you know what, use the
audio that I just did, Yeah, and turn it into audio.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
I don't think I'll get another job with Love Honey
if I do that.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Well, Love Honey, if you want me to do any
videos contemp, I can sing the Arinal song. It's not
trademark or anything, and it might go viral that aois on.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
This is condoning bullying. We're against the Arinal song. We're
against these two bitches that made it up. Yeah, but
it's a funny story.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Yeah, it would never happen today, Well it would, but yeah,
it gets gosh, probably a lot quicker.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Yeah, there wouldn't be a song.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I wonder what Arianal's doing these days. I kin't of
remember her last name. To look at our, I wish
I knew.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Anyway, is that how we're wrapping this up?
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Now? We've got to play the jack off? It's back
for season two?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Speaking of Anal, Yes.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Okay, well it's time for the jack off.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
So we're doing this.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Ay, it's back for season two. The score was too sorry,
one to you, one to everyone else? Was it to you?
Two to you? And zero to everyone? I thought we
only played it once and we played it twice. Look,
I can't remember it.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I feel like I won.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
You did definitely win one. Okay, let's say it's one
all okay, let's start. Let's start new from now season two.
So today jacking off with you, Jack is John? Hello? John?
There are you going?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Oh my god, Hi Joan, I'm so excited to jack
off with you.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Dame, the first time with you, Jack. I know, have
you ever jacked off with anyone? John?
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yeah, your phone just went totally distorted, but it's like
you were censoring yourself because it sounded really rude. Well
maybe it's not very good at the moment. I yeah,
I heard opts, so we know how the Jack off works.
There is five questions. Jack. If you know the answer,
(28:07):
you you're out.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Jack.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
John, if you know the answer, you're out. John. Whoever
gets in first guest answer best of five? Okay, right
if you If you buzz in first and you don't
know it, then it goes to the other person with
a chance to answer.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Okay, okay, look at you writing things down like little tally.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Okay, is everyone ready? John? Test your buzzer, John, Jack
tests your buzzer.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Jack.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Great, getting quick, John, because Jack is very quick?
Speaker 1 (28:33):
All right?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Question number one? Yeah, what date is mean girl's day?
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Jack?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Jack? October third? It is October thir Did you know that? No,
I was gonna say wednesdays or something. Day is October
third because Katie goes October thirty.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Three days, so very relevant.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Well it was yesterday when this comes out. But yeah, okay,
all right. Next question, what was the name of Nicole
Richie and Paris Hilton's reality show? Jack Simple Life? Correct? John?
You need to get in quick. I told you this
bitch is quick, Jack quickly, it's a phone line.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
I reckon blaming your tools, all right, Next question, name
two of the main judges on RuPaul's drag race us
that aren't ru Paul, Jack, Michelle Visage Yes.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
And.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Oh, don't get it.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
I don't know what's Carson craisline.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Yes, dam I said no, but there's no time limit. No,
we don't. We don't have rules like that. But three
out of five means of Jack's one. Yeah, sorry John,
but Jack is the new face of love, honey. So
you get a butt plug?
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Yeah, exactly. We need a plug over the summer.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
I always said that. Well, John, thank you so much.
Thank you for playing the Jack off. How was your
first time jacking off it? Oh?
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Well, hopefully next time will be better. We'll have to
do it in person.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
That's exactly right.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Yes, it again, but it sounds like you need to
be sentenced. So that's totally.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
All right. We'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Thanks John, Bye bye. So you are now in the
lead two to one to the Jack.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
How good?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Anyway, Well, that's it for the podcast.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Most socks have dried. They're looking a bit Saturday.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Look so wet still and it's only that hasn't been
very long.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
So raining I think either way, we're getting an uber.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
All right, well, we'll see you next week new release
State of Tuesday Night.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
I know, Hello, which I'm very excited for because then
we get to say each time, see you next Tuesday. Yes, bitch,
I haven't had some websigne.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Yes, bitch, you have some hard months. Yes, bitch my
look nice sign?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Yes, bitch?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
What hello? Hello? Hello?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Hi? Hi? How are you how I started?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yeah, we've started.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Oh okay. I I'm just like taking off my wet
socks because it's pissing rain. Down with rain and relatable.
Jack caught the train never again. I'm never getting a
train again in my life.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Every time you had like hadn't caught a train for
like ten years up until like two or three months
ago when I forced you. And now every time you
have done it since you've started using bubblic Transfer.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
It's gone to disaster. It's gone titsup.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Remember a couple of weeks, a couple of months ago,
there was like the pool all smeared on the chairs.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yes, And now today I was half an hour late
because I got on the wrong train from Central to
fucking Strapfield. Someone screened at me in Stractford. This man
came up to me and said, you're not from here,
are you? I was like absolutely not, and I walked
away and then I got on another wrong train and
ended up in Hornsby.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
You know, like did not like look at the sign
anyone literally, I've got an app as well.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I've got an app that tells me it would fucking platform.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I guess have missed or something like I must have.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I don't know. I thought I was pretty on the
broad But anyway, I'm soaking wet. My socks are on
the floor. Balencia is soaked.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
That's what he probably saw. The Valencia got white crinkled
leather handbag on a man and was like, you're not
from here.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
I am.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Anyway, it's meant to be crinkled, Babe's I bought it.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
No, it's crinkled, you know, because I wore it all
throughout Mighty grass weathered.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
No, it's that's the vibe. Though I think it was
too perfect. It would look weird like it kind of
looks better dirty like that and crinkled me dirty and crinkled.
Now we've got an issue.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
What's the issue.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Well, we were going to do a not tell all
behind the scenes secret. We're gonna finding secrets from behind
the scenes of the challenge. This way I was going.
I got in trouble.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I did get in trouble. I had a call from
ten Publicity and they're like, well, they called my manager.
They're like, just want to let you know, like just
remind you of like the contracts that you've signed, the
NBA's I wasn't actually going to give anything away.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
No, like I would do like fun secrets.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Yeah yeah, yeah, anyway I've gotten now we can't do
I can't do it. I know I've got in trouble now,
So ten publicity. If you're listening, I'm not saying a word,
but I will say, my bag got lost for three
weeks on the way back your luggage. Yes, I just
need to ran for a moment because yeah, my my,
and it wasn't even my bag. I felt bad with
(02:41):
my housemates parents suitcase and it's the one they have
a suitcase that you own, not a big enough one
because they said they were like, we only bring one
suitcase with you, and then I found out like the
people brought more.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Can I ask one question that maybe you'll be allowed
to answer, Yeah, do they give you like a pack
list of things you need to bring, like you're gonna need.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I'm I don't know what if I want, I'm allowed
to like, yeah, but everyone goes over everything I brought,
like thirty undies because.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Like, oh okay, yeah, we have to be prepared. Do
you like to wash stuff while you're there? Or is
it like, I.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Don't know what I'm allowed to say.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I'm scared.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
I'm gonna get fucking sued.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
No, but you can say like, were you doing your
washing like the Big Brother House or were you just
didn't go through all the clothes.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I'm not saying anything. I'm too scared. I'm too scared,
all rightie?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Three weeks? Three weeks? Yes, And fucking where did it
end up? Like? Where was?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I don't know, I don't know well when I when
I went, because I ended up having to go to
because I called so many, like multiple times and made
reports and everything, and then it just wasn't like I
don't know, it just wasn't escalating, and it's it's been
three weeks, and I was like, what the fuck do
I do? And so I went down to the airport.
I was stormed in there up to the baggage thing.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
You went all the way to the airport, all the.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Way to the airport for like ten minutes from where
I live.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yeah, but I had just been like, it's inconvenient, and it.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Was very inconvenient, extremely inconvenient anyway, So yeah, I went
to that and then there was no one at the
baggage inquiry area. There was no one there, and so
call this number and I called the number and I'm
like on hold, and I was like it was basically
the same situation, just call.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Out from home and I'm like, why the fuck am
I here?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Anyway? I saw someone like through the glass. I was
like walking by and I was like, hi, Hi, Hi,
And then they finally came out and it was a
really helpful lady. And then then she walked me down
to this like huge warehouse where there's like all these
just abandoned bags. Apparently mine was an abandoned bag.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Did it have your name on it?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
No? I didn't.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Well that's why because then they can't track you down
Daylen And when you go, I've lost my bag? What
color is it? Black? What's made of this? Is?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
This is why I felt bad is it's not so
much about what was in it, but it was more
like it was my house and it's parents bag because
they had a really big bag that they got at
the Olympics when it was in Sydney. Oh, and I
had like the Olympic sign on it, so years old.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Get rid of it.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I was very like sentimental to them. So it was like,
I need to find this bag. Anyway, found the bag,
It's all good.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Have I told you that I was in the Olympic
ceremony opening ceremony for the Olympics with Nicky Webster? What
have I never told you this?
Speaker 1 (05:12):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
So when I was in primary school, I was like
the best thing I've ever heard. I was an amazing
singer and yeah, and then and so we went through.
I was in this choir it was called like the
Sing two thousand and one Choir, and it was like
you had to do like ten auditions to get into it.
So even if you were in the choir, you had
to do more auditions to get into the Olympics. And
there was like, I don't know, five hundred kids from
(05:34):
all around everywhere, and we did all these like secret
rehearsals with Nicky Webster and like it was amazing. So
I was in the opening ceremony.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Oh God, if I looked at them, if I found
a video online, would I see you?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Maybe? My dad, I used to have like a tape
that was like a foot because the ceremony opening ceremony
was so long. There was like a VHS tape, but
it was a four pack because it was so like
had to fit on all the tapes. Yeah, and so
there was one point because we had like I was
only in like two songs that it was like the one.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Song in the financial ceremony of the Olympic. Yeah. Nikki
fucking Webster. I know she now these days.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
She owns a dance studio the Central Coast in New
South Wales and also does like a couple of bits
of media stuff. But a couple of years ago, when
I was working on the Central Coast, she came into
the radio studio and we both remembered the choreography from
the song. Twenty years on we did this like big
reunion choreography thing and it was the whole thing. I
still remember it to this day. It was crazy fun.
(06:32):
Literally twenty two years ago, I still remember the choreography.
How weird is that?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
But it was like, no, I want to say, I
won't ask for that right now, now do it?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Aunt j for the whole full full thing? Shame Okay.
So it was under the Southern SKUs. Okay, this was
like her main song. Yep, so it goes just remember
I can sing now he goes under the Southern skies
together in this lane, every voice in celebration, a family
(07:01):
hand in hand under the Southern's guys as one we
rise and turn our eyes to see all the one.
I can't remember this bit the co feet. It's all
some language, all the wands a their future in a
word of harmony.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Doesn't that mean you?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
And that's friends?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Okay, yeah, I mean I'm probably doing some of the
nuances wrong. But it's like, because there's so many like
nuances in sign language, like if you do one tiny
thing wrong, you like totally. But that was basically it.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Well, I loved that.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yeah, I was really enjoyed that. You're what are talking about?
Oh you lost your bags? I finally got your bag.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Stuff?
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Was anything stolen?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
No? No, no, no, no, it was locked. I just didn't
have my name on it. My mum was raped. Always
put your name on your back.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah yeah. Do you want of those people that tie
like a bit of green ribbon around it so you
know it's yours when you see.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Just stint handle it was yellow.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So I just thought, I don't know, I don't know
what I thought. I just thought everything I hadn't traveled
in a long time. Okay, I was just happy to
be going overseas after COVID. Yeah, speaking of have you
seen those stupid articles about me apparently complaining that I
was in economy.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
I love them so much, it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I was literally just answering a question on the last podcast,
Yeah that I asked you about to ask me economy
or I wasn't even gonna say. And that mole Megan
that from so dramatic write a really dramatic article. I shouldn't,
I really do you.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I don't know her, but I love her that you don't.
I don't think you're a male Megan, whoever you are.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I don't think she's a mole. I've just heard that
she's a mole. I shouldn't say that.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
From he who she's probably listened to this, like like
like that's what.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I've heard from people in the industry.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, well, people on the challenge and we're not talking
about the challenge.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
All right, what do you have for me?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Well, I did have a dramatic week happened. Okay, dramatic?
Where dramatic?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
When do you not have a dramatic week?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
So I was doing some shopping during the week in
the QVB. If you don't live in Sydney, this is
the like it's like a ye oldie building and it
looks like carrots in what it's like. But I'm doing
some shopping in the QVB and it's like they've kind
of it's like an old building, but there's very new
(09:27):
bits and some of the shops are like underground floor
have been renovated recently, and it's kind of you where
I live, so I always walk under there. But I
had an accident the other day where I walked into
a brand new glass wall that didn't used to be there.
Oh you're used to.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Like walking around there and you.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Well, yes, I walked through there pretty much every day,
but this glass warll never used to be there, and
they've renovated part of it recently.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Dare they put that there?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
It was so clean I can't even tell you, Like,
I don't know how I did it. I was walking
out of Mecca and I saw Sunglass our hut was
having a sale, and that's kind of opposite. You be lined.
I be lined for the sunglass hut. Yes, and they
have two glass walls, which one of them has the
sunglasses on, but it's a half a wall and you
can't tell that. It's like that looks like the start
(10:15):
of the shop, okay, but there's like a foot between
that wall and the actual wall of the shop, which
is like in the mall that's made of glass. And
I didn't see it and it didn't used to be
so far around or so proud, or maybe it always
has like decal stickers on it. I don't know, but
you know when Aladdin sees the lamp in Aladdin's and
(10:35):
I was like, oh, and I just be lined for them.
And also it was like kind of I remember no
one kind of being there, like so maybe it was
like six o'clock at night or something, or like six
thirty or seven o'clock like that, no one was really there,
because if I would have died if people had seen
me bash into the wall and like been like.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I wish we could find the cct Oh.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
My god, I know. I actually looked up for CCTV
cameras because like I was mortivate, I was so od virus.
But it was the hardest, loudest thud and I don't
know yet it was all my nose and it felt
for about a week. This happened like maybe ten days ago.
For about a week, it was so painful, like to touch,
(11:15):
to sneeze, to blow my nose, everything. It was so
fucking painful. Once it happened, I was so in shock
and embarrassed that no one saw me. So I tried
to play it cool and I went into the shop
and the shop was and was like, hey, how are
you going, So she didn't It was the loudest thud.
I can't even tell you she didn't even hear it
because she just or maybe didn't know it.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
So no one saw it.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
No one, not that I saw, because I did it here.
I did a look around. But anyway, so when I
went in and just tried to play court, but it
was so painful, I had to leave and I was
thought felt like my nose was bleeding.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
It okay, now, it's.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Okay now, but I've what a very thin nose? Okay,
like it's very thin and delicate. Yeah, it's skinny nose.
So when I went to look at it in the bathroom,
it was so swollen and I was like, oh my god,
it felt like it was bleeding, but there was no blod,
no blood. But then when I woke back, I had
to walk back past the thing to get home. I
looked and there was a huge, big smudge like on
the glass. There was like the shape of my nose
(12:08):
and oh my face. Should take a photo I did have?
Maybe they did take a phone. I can't remember.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Let me have a look at take a photo everything, sir.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I know, because I did think at the time I
should take a photo of this, but I can't remember
I actually did because I was so traumatized. But oh
my god, it was the I just cannot the noise
in my head still. I'll never forget it. It was
so loud, so painful, and every time now I walk
past and I'm.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Like traumatized, never going back into a sunglass hut.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Let me see if it's here. I shouldn't say that.
Maybe the response of the show we love sunglas.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
We love sunglasses and sunglass hut.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Where's the cup of bit?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
We might be in luck?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
No, do you actually have one?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Maybe I'm using that thing because I have so many maps,
so many photos and screenshots the map. I'm using the
map thing because I don't know where it will be,
like even ten days go to try and find It's like, anno,
that's how I find my nudes, oh, because you know,
you took them all a home or like some next
place whatever, and I'm I can't maybe I didn't take
(13:08):
a photo, but I remember, I remember being like as
I walked past.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
But anyway, well that's a bit of a shit show.
Yeah that happened.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
But my nose is okay now. But that was very
embarrassing because that's never happened to me.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I wouldn't mind that happening to me. Excuse to get
a nose job.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
That's the only thing I thought, Oh my god, maybe
people to get a nose job if my noses than
houw to shape anything.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
My friend's getting a revision nose job in two.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Weeks and being the first job was bad.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
No, it was actually really good, but they just weren't
happy with a couple of little things, and so they're
getting a revision. And we actually actually messaged. We're messaging messaging,
we're texting two days ago, and they need to quit
vaping because obviously like vaping and stuff and like, I
don't know, I don't know actually why.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Maybe infect the nose.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Yeah, and it like affects like post nose jobs. It's
part of recovery. I just can't vape smoke all that
kind of stuff anyway. So I was like, okay, I
will I will quit vaping with you because I'm back.
I'm back on vaping. I'm not sure if you know
I'm back vaping after the vape blop in my mouth
and still vaping.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
All the oil was in your mouth, oil.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Was in my mouth. But I was like, i'll quit
with you. I will do it together. And so I
when was this yesterday or the day not two days ago?
So I send him a video like the morning of
that we're both quitting. I send him a video and
I'm throwing my vape in the bin and he's like, yes,
we can do it. And then it gets to like
six pm. I haven't had a vape. I'm like shaking,
(14:29):
and I'm facetiming my friend who's getting the nose job
that has to quit vaping, who doesn't tell me he
was vaping?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Vaped?
Speaker 1 (14:36):
He was vaping on the FaceTime and I was like,
what the fuck, No, it's in two weeks.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Oh, you gotta quit that early.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Yeah, And so he was vaping and I was like,
come over to my house right now and bring your vapor.
I'm shaking in my boots and so yeah, I came
and then I took his vape and I was like,
I'm going to take this, so you can't vape because
you're the one getting the nose job. But I'm not
quitting vaping anymore. But so I took his vape and
I've got it right here. I can't vape in here,
can I?
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I mean, the official rule is no.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Anyway, So that's a little fun vaping story again. So
now I've got his right here actually.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
And are you going to use it? You're back on
a total.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Well, I'm I'm I My plan is to quit again.
I might take another rape blowing up in my mouth
to quit. But I have stopped drinking and it's only
been five days again again, but it's been five days. Yeah,
but I'm going to do until Halloween. Okay, at least
I'm saying about a month. Yeah, about a month, but
over a month.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Today's the thirtieth, and I assume, but.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yeah, my friend's birthday, and I was like, we're gonna
have a kiki. So I'm at least I'm just a
shorter goal this time, because I think last time, I
don't know, the last goal was a month, wasn't it.
I didn't make it.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Yeah, I think I will do it this time. Every
I feel like every time you come in, which is good,
you stopped and then started again, like you've stopped again,
and then the next week it'll be vabes, I've stopped.
Well I started.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
This is to hold me accountable. But anyway, I at
least what will I think will help me is I'm
never fucking going out again, because last I was, I
was out that.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
The next week I'm back to going out again.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah you know, I was out and because I was
just with a group of friends, like it was dark
and universal, and I was like, hey, like, nice to
meet you. I'm Jack, and they gave me the dirtiest
look and they were like before and I was like, oh.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I'm how is a celebrity mentor?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And shut up, like no matter who.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
You are, like meeting fancy, shut.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Up no, because like that's not what I'm thinking, Like
in my I just haven't. I just think that I
haven't met this person before, and I say hello, nice
to meet you, very nicely. Then they give me the
dirtiest reaction and they were so pissed off. And we've
met before and I was like, oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I was.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I was like trying to think of every excuse on
the sun, and I was like, well, nice to see you,
and they were so dirty about it and so pissed off.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Oh my god, and it just gave me the shits.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
It gave me like and I'm like, don't ruin my
night with your bad attitude just because I can't remember
who you are. We've probably met it some fucking kick
ons that.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Yeah, exactly, I am exactly like five years ago and
it's not like and also who cares exactly get over it? Duh.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
It just gave me the shits.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
So'm I don't want to get saying this, but obviously
someone is going to remember meeting you, but like but not.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Even not even like just if you whoever you are,
like if you some if you've met someone and they
don't remember meeting you, let it go.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I know. I actually no, because I have a friend
that I'm friends with and his friend. If I reckon,
I've met this guy ten fifteen times, he's been to
my house before, and but it's like he's friends of
friends and I don't care for this person. To be fair,
(17:56):
I don't remember his name. But but it's because it's
the left to the I've been left at this our taste.
But I'm one of those people that never forgets a face.
But I forget everyone's name. Do you remember faces? Obviously
what time in the morning. I'll never forget someone's face,
and I'll know I know somewhere and I can usually
place them pretty quick.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
I just so bad with names.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Yes, but like, okay, so keep going.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Oh anyway, Yes, So anyway, this guy I've met like
literally ten or fifteen times, h every single time, and
he's a nobody every single time, like as in like
it's not like someone like that's important to me or
that I need to know that I want to be
friends with. Every single time he goes, oh my god,
nice to meet you, and I'm like, are you legit?
Speaker 1 (18:40):
And but do you feel like it's on purpose?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Okay, so that's the difference. I feel like I can't
that what gave me the ships is because I feel
like I did. I did so much scrambling to make
because I can't. I don't want him to feel bad.
I like this is I didn't have the ships. In
the moment, I was very I felt horrible, and I
was like, I just I want to make sure you okay.
I feel really bad, and he just kept he met
me with hostel. That's why I've got the ships now.
I didn't have the ships in the moment, but looking
(19:02):
back at the situation, I was like, fuck you for
trying to ruin my night.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
From now on, I'm just I'm saying nice to see
you to absolutely everybody.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I do that a lot.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
I do.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
I never say nice to meet.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
I do in a work setting for you, good to
see you.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
For years in a work capacity, I've always said nice
to see you, and like back in the day as well,
when I was like singing, more like when I would
do meet and greets, I would like and everything, all
that kind of stuff, I would always say nice to
see you, just so everyone doesn't. I don't know, if
you have met someone before, you just don't want them
to feel like shit if you have met the exactly,
and I'm not kind of I don't want someone. I
want people to feel good like. But now, even in
(19:41):
a club setting, I'm just gonna say nice to see you. Actually,
I'm not gonna go to clubs anymore.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Or it was just saying, hatel, how you going, and
get some branding in there.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
I do normally hate all.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Ready anybody you listen Spotify music? How you how you doing?
Speaker 1 (19:58):
All that time I'm gonna regreeting.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
I never offer a question. I always say hi, dol,
hey Dal dolor dal one of the two, and I
never offer it up another question. Or sometimes I'll just
say like, how you going? How are you doing? That's it,
and then it's up to someone else, like you know.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Absolutely even later that night someone else, like I was
saying hello to someone. I think they said hey or
hey dialing or whatever at the bar and then they
were like, you don't remember me, do you?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
I hate when people say that, just like what do
you want me to say in this moment?
Speaker 1 (20:29):
No, I don't, and fuck off. On that note, sorry,
have a bitch today.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
On that note, we're going to take a break. Allay
back into say let bitch, we're back, we'll back. Was
that good?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
That was really great? Actually I can still sing.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Look if it's in the right key and it's the
right song, it sounds okay like I'd probably get to
like Hollywood if it was American idol, but I probably
wouldn't get to the top twelve.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Oh I saw Australian I was coming back.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I know, I gotta be exciting.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Kyle and Meghan trainer and audition funk off.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
No, seriously, why.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Would I audition for Australian Idol to.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Get on idol? Why not? I'm Syria. It's one of
the only I've been on fucking everything I know, but
this is one of the relatives you haven't been on,
so this one could tick this one off your box
as well.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
No, no, there's no more boxes to tick. Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
If you want Australian Idol, audition for.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Idol and learn if you want an idol, I don't
want Australia's got talent. And I'm sounding like an ego
to School of Ship today, aren't I Not at all?
Not at all?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Okay, what we're talking about now, I don't know. But
I'm so.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I'm going home after this to film a real But
I need some advice because I'm so I'm working with
love honey you know. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, with like
sex toys and stuff and.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Oh yeah she told us that last week.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah, but I need to film this real and I'm
trying to. I've got to like, I don't know what
to do?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
What kind of real You got a film with sex toss?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
That's what my house said, like I need you to
film something for me. And I showed them the package
and they're like, what do you mean? Are you starting
only fans? No, it's like a it's like an advent calendar,
but for sex toys. So like each stayed there. No,
it's no for this month. But it's very fun, very festive,
not in a Christmasy way.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
But what what do you have to do? Tobo way?
Speaker 1 (22:26):
That's the thing. Whatever I need to I need to
get creative with it.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
So how was it an actual advent? How do we
get to open the drawers and boxes and like pool.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Somethingah and you pull out like a little like vibrating
butt club.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
How many presents do you have to open?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
No, it's like one. It's like a box and you're like,
kind of I don't really know.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
To be honest, So you're kind of doing an unboxing.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
It's like an.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Unboxing, okay, and do you know what's in it yet?
Or not? Not yet?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
I had a little squize.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
There's some fun things and so what are you gonna
do for the for the video? Well, I don't know,
that's the thing I want to do. I'm I'm like,
maybe funny angle could be like you play dumb and
you don't know, like you pull on and you're like, oh,
what's this a back massage? But it's like a three.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
I was thinking about going like a sexy route, not
the the funny route.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
It could be funny though, to be to like play dumb.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
So there's like lots of different things in the advent calendar,
but I don't know what I'm gonna like use that
I'm not used out of it, but like at least
I'll use everything in it. But like what I'm gonna
make the focus of the reel of maybe like one
of the bat plugs or like, I don't know, something
to do with anal pleasure.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Well you could do actually, this might be good. So
back when I was in year nine, this is like
I don't oh this poor girl. This is just triggered
me with the anal. Back when I was in year.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Nine nine, there was this girl who we.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Went to school camp like that was called like like
a year leadership camp or something was at the start
of the year. And there was this girl who her
name was Arianna, as in like Ariana Grande yes. And
but at the time no one had heard of that name,
so it was like really exotic. And there was a
rumor that started at camp that she'd had anal. And
(24:12):
so somehow, somehow, two girls in my year came up
with the name instead of Ariana, Arianal.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
A couple of bitches.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
And then on the way on the way back on
the bus, on the way home from camp, they came
up with a song and they the Arianal song.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
That is cruel, You're a bitch.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
And to this day I sang remember that a no.
At the time, no, but it became like poor Arianal.
She left quite soon after that. She went to another
She was so nice, but she cares if well, because
there's year nine. It was like school camp, a whole thing.
And so she left not long after. But and after
(25:03):
she left, everyone would talk about it all the time
and sing the song. All up until your twelve, we
would always sing that Arianal song. And I still remember it.
Do you want to hear it? It was so and
the two girls that made it up got expect not expel.
What's the other one? Suspended?
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Good?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
They should get expelled.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
It's horrible.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Do you want to hear the Arinal song? I don't
know you do. It's hilarious right, oh god, it's actually
very rude. Already behind behind. She likes it behind right
up her bum. There goes that come behind behind. She's
seen it big, she's seen us all, but this time
she don't see it all because it's behind behind. That's fuck.
(25:43):
Oh god, that's what you get from you nine girls.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Oh my god. I left in you know, and so
I missed I missed the anal jokes.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
We've been a lot at your school were you left?
That was? Yeah, that was so you could take that
song and get the butt plug from Love Honey and
do like you can do you know what, use the
audio that I just did, Yeah, and turn it into audio.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
I don't think I'll get another job with Love Honey
if I do that.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Well, Love Honey, if you want me to do any
videos contemp, I can sing the Arinal song. It's not
trademark or anything, and it might go viral that aois on.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
This is condoning bullying. We're against the Arinal song. We're
against these two bitches that made it up. Yeah, but
it's a funny story.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Yeah, it would never happen today, Well it would, but yeah,
it gets gosh, probably a lot quicker.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Yeah, there wouldn't be a song.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I wonder what Arianal's doing these days. I kin't of
remember her last name. To look at our, I wish
I knew.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Anyway, is that how we're wrapping this up?
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Now? We've got to play the jack off? It's back
for season two?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Speaking of Anal, Yes.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Okay, well it's time for the jack off.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
So we're doing this.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Ay, it's back for season two. The score was too sorry,
one to you, one to everyone else? Was it to you?
Two to you? And zero to everyone? I thought we
only played it once and we played it twice. Look,
I can't remember it.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I feel like I won.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
You did definitely win one. Okay, let's say it's one
all okay, let's start. Let's start new from now season two.
So today jacking off with you, Jack is John? Hello? John?
There are you going?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Oh my god, Hi Joan, I'm so excited to jack
off with you.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Dame, the first time with you, Jack. I know, have
you ever jacked off with anyone? John?
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yeah, your phone just went totally distorted, but it's like
you were censoring yourself because it sounded really rude. Well
maybe it's not very good at the moment. I yeah,
I heard opts, so we know how the Jack off works.
There is five questions. Jack. If you know the answer,
(28:07):
you you're out.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Jack.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
John, if you know the answer, you're out. John. Whoever
gets in first guest answer best of five? Okay, right
if you If you buzz in first and you don't
know it, then it goes to the other person with
a chance to answer.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Okay, okay, look at you writing things down like little tally.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Okay, is everyone ready? John? Test your buzzer, John, Jack
tests your buzzer.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Jack.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Great, getting quick, John, because Jack is very quick?
Speaker 1 (28:33):
All right?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Question number one? Yeah, what date is mean girl's day?
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Jack?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Jack? October third? It is October thir Did you know that? No,
I was gonna say wednesdays or something. Day is October
third because Katie goes October thirty.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Three days, so very relevant.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Well it was yesterday when this comes out. But yeah, okay,
all right. Next question, what was the name of Nicole
Richie and Paris Hilton's reality show? Jack Simple Life? Correct? John?
You need to get in quick. I told you this
bitch is quick, Jack quickly, it's a phone line.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
I reckon blaming your tools, all right, Next question, name
two of the main judges on RuPaul's drag race us
that aren't ru Paul, Jack, Michelle Visage Yes.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
And.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Oh, don't get it.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
I don't know what's Carson craisline.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Yes, dam I said no, but there's no time limit. No,
we don't. We don't have rules like that. But three
out of five means of Jack's one. Yeah, sorry John,
but Jack is the new face of love, honey. So
you get a butt plug?
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Yeah, exactly. We need a plug over the summer.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
I always said that. Well, John, thank you so much.
Thank you for playing the Jack off. How was your
first time jacking off it? Oh?
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Well, hopefully next time will be better. We'll have to
do it in person.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
That's exactly right.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Yes, it again, but it sounds like you need to
be sentenced. So that's totally.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
All right. We'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Thanks John, Bye bye. So you are now in the
lead two to one to the Jack.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
How good?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Anyway, Well, that's it for the podcast.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Most socks have dried. They're looking a bit Saturday.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Look so wet still and it's only that hasn't been
very long.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
So raining I think either way, we're getting an uber.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
All right, well, we'll see you next week new release
State of Tuesday Night.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
I know, Hello, which I'm very excited for because then
we get to say each time, see you next Tuesday. Yes, bitch,
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.