March 3, 2025 • 56 mins
By now we you all know what to expect when this man is on the pod. It's always a chaotic time filled with impressions, grandad and a few lines that may suggest Jamie and Fionn actually dislike each other... Enjoy.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
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(02:40):
I'll record. Hello, everyone.
Welcome back to the episode Yeahof Hot Waters Green Room Podcast
with me, Tony Carroll. Well, I thought we was leaving
the intro thing. No, I'll roll the tape again.
Start again. I don't like that angle.
Tony's angry because he wants towatch the mighty deads.
That who's not in 40 minutes andthese two banks are fucking
(03:02):
stopping me watching. It he's doing his fake Adam Rowe
thing where he presents. It's a big Liverpool.
I'll just. Luke Whitley Just.
Because you don't show your team, I'm telling.
Me. Mobi and fucking Captain A I'll.
Just get off, you know I don't give a fuck just 'cause you
(03:22):
don't show your team on telly mate.
Hey, they do. They do.
Messy, messy. On the Comedy Channel.
On UK TV just for guys. Talented, Talented.
(03:46):
How are we meet in? What are you doing?
Have you had the back on this again?
Because you've got oh, oh, sorry, sorry for you.
You've got sort of interrupting the broadcasting of Dapper
Laughs Reform UK Member of Parliament constituency
political broadcast site. Former guest staple Off So you
(04:10):
want to respect? Yes, yes.
Oh, Oh no. Most retaining guest ever.
This is 15th time. Because I've got someone else to
promote. Maybe.
Maybe the 13th time will work. It won't.
What are you? Being up to my mates, I haven't
seen you for ages because you'd normally be pumping to each
other and have a few bevies or agig.
So store for what have you been up to?
(04:31):
Honestly, pleasure. Yeah.
Live gigs battered in him. Oh my God am I enjoying it.
Oh, we've had. We've had some smells of mental
health now. Oh, we've had we've had some
men's men, Klev. Dipping me toe in his men Klev
pole keep your. Granddad going oh bitter, bitter
(04:52):
oldest friends looking oh, he's in trouble.
We just we cheer each other up right at the John chained it up
and so it's bad happened to me. Oh, you've you've kept granddad
away from noose on another six hours.
Oh, you've had a minor inconvenience?
Which? Decorators, do tell me, man,
you've. Got a page on Instagram let you
(05:13):
do the granddad wishes? We've got a group chat.
Yeah, me. And so everyone keeps going.
I can't wait for Woznack to respond.
Woznack told me to do it, so shut up with that.
Yeah. Well, actually it was our Co.
Creation. Yeah, we created it in Hull.
On. The dot, when we was walking
with our suit cares, we stumbledacross a pub called umber dock
(05:36):
Umber Dock and I just, he went, he went.
That's a great name. I went.
That's somewhere where your granddad would take your grand
and think it's posh. It's like a Wetherspoon.
I talked, I talked down to Margaret and it just, you know,
when you smash it in front of the mate, oh, there's something
in this. We went into Umbadoc and we
(05:57):
went. All they do is trash it.
They don't. They don't know.
I've always, I've always thoughtplaces that do a pot and a bit a
bit a bit Roman. They don't.
I don't want it in a buckle. I want it.
But there was also Cuban Pete's.Cuban beach, Cuban pizzas and an
(06:24):
ill advised Mexican theme bar inwhole. 10 LB pita coladas in
the. Whole and we see I swear to God
yeah we went in there for the drink before the cake like just
having a pint and there was a guy with a daughter outside it's
all got like your. But he was like about 70 when
he's got. Some funny hats and he's he's
got his daughter's hand and he'spointing out all the hats and
(06:46):
she walked. She's like human Pete's like
that. And, and he just looks at it and
he went come on now and March off.
And it was like one day you might go to Cuban beach.
I'll check your Cuban Peach one day if you're good.
One day for your graduation. If you do your STSES.
I'll get you a question, do I ona tortilla?
(07:09):
They doing that? Now you can't damage your
lapping hours to expansion. It plays havoc.
So what's been going on? What's what's been happening?
Have you been sad or? I know everything sad, yeah, but
it hasn't. It's got an appointment.
(07:30):
About not been. Slacked.
Yeah, yeah, I've done, yes. That was very job Centre.
Have you? Have you managed to contain the
gainful employment well? Show us your job searches.
Have you spent 35 hours this week looking?
Not a job you. Got me out of that one, Sir.
(07:52):
Oh, that was a classic one. He's logged in.
Sons of Cricket going to send mea feature.
DM Job. Interviews.
OK for interview. Job interview conducted by DM.
Oh yes, do we show them the M just to get your fucking JSA
it's. Something in it.
Yeah, it's not now. Not under Starmers Britain.
What's he done now to change? It I don't know.
(08:13):
I don't know, but you know, we've got a a Barclaysman pub
quiz for promote. That's why I'm.
Oh, that was smooth. There you go.
Where's? Where's that?
That's Hot Water's green room, and it's not in green room, but
there you go. That was it's hot water.
It might be you don't know what tickets US is.
That What was it? Yeah, with if Do you want to
(08:34):
test your football autism against Jamie?
Come and buy a ticket. You've voted.
Into that. Oh yeah.
Of course, yeah. I can't take a fee Colour what?
Oh no, it'd be it'd be split all.
All 7 tickets will be split equally.
No, just get me a pint, right? There you go.
Oh well. Unless I'll do it.
Unless. I'm fine.
I reserve the right to say unless you sell it out, Oh, I'm
(08:57):
scared. Which is?
Oh yeah. Can I?
I'll do it for money. Oh well.
I don't get any rights, but I'lldo it for money.
I'll be like that. I mean, you're asking.
No, Yeah, but. Full nail that please.
Yeah. But yeah, that's that's that so.
(09:20):
Nice, there's your plug out today.
That's that done, yeah. And all that's left to do is
thank Liverpool City Council forthe ample parking.
That's a. Joke.
What's that? What's happened with basically?
These cunts. Yeah, because of the evidence.
New ground, whenever he bought us a new ground, he obviously
didn't think about parking. So that now all the area around
(09:45):
it, all in the all the area around it though put everything
in our the council put a bit, the council put a no parking
thing in, you know what I mean? So it's going to affect
businesses, it's going to affectresidents.
You know if you want to go roundfor a party to your mates house
you can't. We can't do we shouldn't be
driving anyway, so. Staying over.
If it's a sober part. Dude, yeah.
(10:06):
Fucking dealers in Liverpool outside 6 miles away, outside
Black Island, 1.2 miles away Black Island.
That's what he there, that's. Oh God, oh fucking.
Well, with that, well that's that.
(10:27):
We've got Cheltenham coming around, we've got.
Cheltenham. Around me Father's again.
Oh, yes, me dad fucking you Never seen.
I wish I had that love of me. Just tell me he goes out.
He just goes. And he'll just fucking mumble
his jargon. I mean, I'm gonna go.
(10:47):
You mad. Sexy's Eye, A bacon sandwich.
He does you sometimes. I'm just sitting there.
Yeah, watching a bachelor. I do feel like.
It's become such a character joke.
(11:09):
It's time to do on sports. Yeah, yeah.
He's on tonight, is there? Yeah, he's got a gig.
To watch Spiky Michael. Put me on.
I'm in the same bracket as Mike Osborne.
I'm a fucking Jesus. Great one.
Yeah, love the But now there's like a great bits of your dad's
folklore. What one sort of said.
(11:31):
I didn't know if I'd be back on the Wednesday.
Then I won a bet in Japan and I had money to spend and I was
back. Oh.
Yeah, you wanted your last bit. The last bit wouldn't.
It Yeah. And there's a Oh yeah, when
Daniel got very confused while Iwas taking my top off, when I
almost finished fourth and won me a grand.
Jumping around the house, babe. Fuck it.
Have you? Have you spoke better already?
(11:53):
Yeah, if you when we watched racing, though, I, I have like a
little peccadillo. If I'm in with a chance, yeah, I
stand up and move the chair. The chair.
Goes you see, they see it at thetop of the thing.
Fucking 27 fences to go. And I'll just see I need and I
need me jumping room. So I'm screaming mine.
(12:13):
Yeah, I, I, I scream like. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it wins. I'll say some Partridge like
that, sport that. You're a fucker.
So we're we're a shouty house. So like fucking go out.
It's just chaos. And then we're cheering and shut
(12:36):
up. And in 3rd place, it's Mantis
Star in fourth. He's drawing the curtain. 5th,
5th. Table on the moon.
Table on the moon. He pays for doesn't pay for
anything, but there's also uncle, well, Uncle Pete as well.
(12:57):
I missed her aneurysm as a he's just aneurysm.
His his uncle just screams like but I've never seen a man go
red. It's full veins, full deep vein
thrombosis time. It's proper.
How many years have you seen it?Well, it's me, me, Fionn, Pete
and my dad. I mean, it used to be bigger,
(13:18):
but obviously people have passedaway and that, but it used.
To be Oh my God. But when they didn't have to
stay in, they. Put my tent.
(13:39):
Oh, Sullivan fucking oh, he's gone.
Oh, he's a fan of this pod. Oh.
Well, it's one last page. Did you?
Fix next to go out of the last. One, we've lost two patrons.
Yeah, what the hell? She's.
Been over there. Nobody.
Yeah. You were sat well sat next.
To go out of the folder out of 40s could.
(14:03):
Be me on day one, probably £200 down.
It's just are there any are? There any big wins recently?
Oh no, that's the great injustice.
That's Thomas C Check. Got speed for three grand.
Yeah. Yeah, we have a rule where we're
not allowed to wins because my looks worse.
No, you can't. You won in Japan five years ago.
(14:26):
No, I had I had a power Torres get subbed off for Tyrone Meng's
cost Me 2 1/2 grand. Two check 3 1/2 me.
That's the worst one this year. So I put it on the sky and then
he got he got fucking books the week after as well.
Every time. I see the week after rule I'll
fucking annoy you. Track someone back on the
(14:47):
counter. How annoying is the week after
rule? You can guarantee whoever we've
missed out on the next week willschool or get booked although.
Holgate, you are better, no? Holgate Syndrome.
Oh, Mason Holgate 8 fouls Marty.8 fouls on card cost us a.
Batting fucking Atkinson. Cost us on a fucking.
(15:08):
Suit Spazzies 1 deserves to. Default.
Atkinsonitis. How the fuck I miss an
automation? Holgate syndrome is like it's
like there's a tornado and you're in the middle of it.
That's. What this looks like like
there's. A name is Martin Atkinson
destroys lives. Yeah, if there was a tornado
(15:31):
ripped through, we'd. Fucking wave play onto the Helen
Hunt in Twister. Let it go, let it go, play on
play. Right.
One more shipment and then you're off.
You are on the patio West. Atkinson let's everything go.
(15:51):
In fact, if Shipment was the CDM, he'd be fucking.
Like he's the Elsa of referee. Just.
Fucking. Yeah, that's me, the podcast.
Thank you very much for that. Off the Red Arrows.
Yeah. Did you you come to watch me our
show, didn't you? I did.
Did you do? It it was fantastic.
(16:12):
Oh, thank. You very much you go to.
The one you were at. Yeah, Fiona's entourage.
I've watched a few, though. Oh, you watched my?
Oh, no, You came in with the pipe.
Yeah, just come backstage. Yeah.
Fiat. Fiat.
Yeah. So, you know, as comics made,
Fiona can get into anywhere he wants to.
Yeah, but he brings it onto ours.
(16:33):
Doesn't he? Yeah.
Strangers, Yeah. But because it's usually I owe
them money, there's a good way of not paying.
Right. I don't owe you that money.
I haven't got it. Put it.
Here's what I can do. Would you be backstage at Jamie?
Do you? Have a parasocial relationship
with one or both of the hot water green Room podcast I can
saw you. Do you want Do you want a non
(16:54):
functioning bottle opener? Would you like a tea towel that
absorbs fuck all? I mean man, anti absorbent,
really the opposite of that. Job you'll just spread water on
your plate. We had a few drinks after, but
we had to, I had to get back tonight, but we had a few drinks
(17:15):
after the B&M in our local, Yeah, in our local, we always go
to one after opposite. Wayfarer.
Yeah, it's all right there. Like all right.
So these decent little Bowser. It's well lit.
I don't like it to blind. Granddad's cat are actually not
for good. Plenty of corners by watching an
(17:36):
Aston Villa game. Barclay Martin Atkinson though,
you give a goal kick for the corner.
In mine, Barclays. Trying to keep some sort of
(17:56):
yeah. There's a.
I've never seen something blow up so much and not monetize.
Yeah, shut. Off.
It's hard to monetize that. Folder, especially when Sky Bet
just go, oh, we're gonna have this.
Yeah, just take it off, yeah. We're gonna have the back this
one. And here's 10 fans who know fuck
all about football on our shows.Yeah, I think, well, I think
Frank Lampard shut up. Yeah, no, but and then you get
(18:21):
fucking grief for saying can we please have some money that
you've just robbed off us? So that's the live show for.
While we're robbing the chase, aren't we?
Your mark loves a bet. That's good.
That's there. You go see the beast, yeah.
He looks like me. I could do that job.
Then yeah, and then we're just going to get some cattle out.
(18:42):
The audience might might be me and James if no one turns up,
but yeah. And then ask questions.
What are you and James going? To do talk shit probably, but
but it's going to be the chase and we're going to have like
we're going to have a good discussion first on the there's.
Going to be different sections of the show.
Yes, we're going to talk shit. What one of the sections?
Is going to be the quiz where you.
(19:02):
Beat the chaser, basically. Yeah, basically the Barclaysman.
Yeah, but like, for not like, not for, not for robbing
purposes, because I know how like, what's it the dead men got
done for Robin? What was it?
Yeah. Yeah.
So he's. Going to be.
So it's the thrill of the with Bradley washed and and yeah,
(19:28):
we'll talk, we'll do it and thenwe'll do some basically some
some good old fashioned football.
But proper not who played for Arsenal once.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, you know, you like you see, like see some fucking
absolute dog shit things on Instagram like, oh, football
trivia. Oh, this is a hard one.
It's not. It's Peter loving cramps.
Not hard Rangers in Newcastle. Oh, that's hard.
(19:49):
Is it OK? Do you like, do you like, do you
like the girl pundits? You know the you know the ball
knowledge. Slump Peg.
She's got a just yeah, isn't she?
She's, I'm sure she's, she's just.
Intelligent man. This is why women don't feel
safe in the game, Tony. But she got the card.
She's not. She's not shy and I woke my
(20:09):
back. Yeah, well, I'm not well.
She can stump peg me mate. She's not Sharon Massey.
With some reason. If I meant Shannon Matthews,
that's the interesting. Ones.
Have you ever seen a picture of them too?
You. Look like Shannon Matthews mum
and dad. Yeah, have you ever seen a
picture of fucking Bernard Matthews?
(20:29):
I'm gobbling. Well.
So I'm saying like a fucking pedo mate.
You look like Shannon Matthews, mum.
Yeah, she was a norm's mate. She's a.
Kid for money. Same thing or?
Whatever. Actually, you know what?
Yeah, just keep up just fine women, bro.
Well, you're not allowed to say your beards fit anymore.
(20:51):
What not not like? That you?
Probably not. Probably not.
With the why? Well, just Starmer's Britain,
isn't it? Starmer can't do that because of
Starmer. So when's your quiz?
It's the 3rd of April. Buy tickets.
How much are the tickets? Tenner because my days are
aiming last on a Thursday. Hopefully stomp eggs hands up.
(21:16):
Well, that's it, That's it, that's it.
But a future, future dealings with that.
Yeah. Someone's asked for us to get it
on as well. Oh mate, chop all the salt
anyway. So what date did you say?
The 3rd of April, 3rd of the second of the what?
10 lbs. What?
Oh. No, yeah, see Jamie Hutchinson
(21:37):
talk about Wigan in 2002. Yeah, that's an.
Amazing value, but people fucking.
Definitely going to be there daddy.
Why don't you make yourself useful to buy?
Buy yourselves 2 tickets for me and you 2.
Well, me too. Well, there's only two of us.
Yeah. Jack, go before.
I want to book them now. Why am I buying your ticket?
(21:59):
Yeah, sure thing. Hey, you sold that car yet?
Yeah, sold it to Carvana. Oh, I thought you were selling
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Yeah, no. Carvana gave me an offer in
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Because I'm skins. But now that people win John
(23:05):
about they want they want kitchen chat.
You know this is as well, just not.
There's any fucking good footy quizzes about?
We can have a pint to that. As well.
So there you go. Exactly.
You know what, you could be on something, maybe this is where
you're going to monetize it and get rich and famous baby.
Possibly, but it's probably going to just be another another
chapter in the Book of defeat. Probably.
(23:25):
How's the music? Going, oh, well, Speaking of
defeat, that's there. Well, it's just like it's all
you were saying before about music and comedy.
ICS. Oh yeah, that's a segment.
No, we weren't. This is totally unplanned.
I. Mean dude, yeah.
I mean the unscripted, but yeah.Well show comedy ICS, some
(23:45):
music. Is there anything anything to
full time? Well, it was last week on
Tuesday. No, no, last Tuesday, last
Tuesday. Where was you?
I was. I can't think of anything funny.
I'm just going to ignore what you just said.
Proceed. OK, I'll just ask some
questions. But the Yeah.
(24:06):
So, yeah, music going badly. That's but it's just it's one of
it's all like this is the music I was going to think talk about
was nepotism, nepotism, nepotism, nepotism.
Everybody's fucking like I've keep seeing.
Oh, everyone's favorite band nowis Inhaler.
(24:26):
Do you know who he is? Fucking Bono's son.
Fuck off. Oh, is it?
Yeah. Fuck off.
Inhale of the supported Weezer. That's world class.
That's world class. Off the Dome inhaler supported
Weezer. You're fucking washed.
You too. That's my comedy ache.
Not getting me flowers, just clutching begrudgingly.
(24:51):
Inhaler Spotted Weasel. No, I wouldn't do that on stage.
Just do 5 minutes today have. You guys heard of the new band?
Have you heard? Of inhaler?
No, you should have just supported Weezer.
We've not heard of them either. Fuck off.
Get off. I just I just.
(25:18):
Keep catching Tony's Tony's face.
It's just like, it's just the last one.
So have you got a comedy? X Oh, there's all, there's
plenty. Because you are a.
Shouting in the audience space. Yeah, any, anything.
Just anything. Just crass and low.
(25:40):
Did you watch the show box? There's an hour of it there.
Four square packs. I need, I need gingers.
Gingers that aren't Paul Smith. I've got a music kick, by the
way, when I start, when I first started out.
(26:02):
You do a mix, you do like some mixed bills.
So it's music, poetry and comedy.
Do some mixed bills, some 10, some 20s.
And they had, they had a band down.
They're a band up from down South and it was just comics in
the audience, Joe Tiger Lounge. It.
Was just comics that went there but they had a band on at the
end. Guy got on the floor to play
(26:26):
guitar. Playing guitar.
Like lay down, go round in a circle and drive Jimmy Hendrix.
Open my comic, go round. Like spin around playing it,
yeah. Yeah, got up to see 5 comics in
the notebooks and he and he wentoh shit, he'd gone down at a
pint. What was it, soaking?
Worse, he was just soaking. But he went committed.
(26:51):
Fuck. That don't I can't get wet.
Oh, my music is my music. Anyone who plays a certain song.
Anyone. Anyone all all your all your
(27:13):
open mics? Anyone who plays black stock
market man? Country.
It's fucking hey, the baby just a little here.
Can't. Stop fire can't start a fire.
(27:33):
Without a spark, this goods fireI got about the good of my
pocket. The odd things in the go, like
the the answer, my friend. Just blowing in the wind.
Yeah. And so now was blowing in that
wind. Yeah.
Thanks for helping Bob Dylan along there.
(27:54):
Really. Is that like what?
I can do, I can change. His limit to use buying I think
Bob Dylan you. Are right?
Yeah, I just want to. Let me add a couple of
connective words that don't really add anything.
There's a there's a lot of shit open mic songs in there.
There's a lot of a lot of country shit now.
Oh my God my biggest fucking Dick is people do potential of
(28:18):
country music now. Oh yeah, salute Combs.
And that's it. Oh.
My God. Oh, that was song about blue
jeans and drinking beer. Which one?
Every single. I.
Mean are the are the. That one's talking about his
ranch. The one about the fucking the
chicken. I actually like I actually like
saying country songs, but now I just feel like I can't because
(28:40):
being so. Fucking country was great back
in the day when it was just fucking Dolly people.
Come back in the day. Dolly Parton, Johnny Cash's
proper. I mean like, yeah, I'm talking
yeah, back in the. Day, of course.
That's country. I'm talking Sunday sport reviews
for talking like country music, I'm talking. 10 years, I give
her a fucking talking to myself.I give her a fucking nine to
(29:02):
five. Shit, where you going?
I'm. Just swapping so.
You say you stay here, you help me out, give a letter into my
Tennessee mountain. I like Tennessee Whiskey by
Chris Stapleton. You're as smooth.
There's Tennessee whiskey, of course.
(29:22):
Sounds red zone. You're as rough as a pint to
Carly. You're as rough as John Smith.
Smile. I've got one for all of us.
Small butting, rich as Bolton cream.
(29:42):
I've got one for where we can all like, get involved in a
conversation, right? I've got 1.
I'm sorry Pub Pubix. Oh, you see, look, I've.
Got my friends back, I've got myfriends back.
I don't know in about 2001 Charlotte of letters queuing.
I do know a good pub. Queuing in.
(30:03):
That's a very modern phenomenon of queuing as as in a queue and
not at the market. That's not where.
People go. These.
Kuntu fucking kuntu pushing. I got pushed in on by an.
That is the one place in the world you don't want.
You don't push in. Everyone should just be.
Sound and chill man, you're going to get your points.
Some little 19 year old rat pushes in between in between me,
(30:26):
the minds being beat you and. Your mind is just quite
controversial. Pushing in is just unacceptable.
Never pushed. If you've ever pushed in at the
bar, you deserve to die. Yes, man, I like, I like to
drink Guinness. Yeah, but I hate this thing now
where you pour half your pints and then you're waiting 7
minutes to sobber up. I understand.
(30:46):
That's the part. I know.
I get what you mean, but now there's people who take it
serious. We covered it, we covered it.
We covered it when I Oh, you're a good Guinness and.
Yeah, I don't put me. It's not sad.
What? Do you mean like to settle it
too much? Yeah.
The paint's warm and then are you splitting the GI?
(31:07):
Well, I'm going to have some mates instead.
Shut up. Yeah.
But the the split yeah, split inthe G any oh, there's a well
blame Paul Mescal for that was like large is the fucking cunt
off normal people and. How the fuck am I having to know
who that is? It's been taken over by these
corduroy caps. They've just come home from
(31:27):
their fucking TikTok fucked university reviewing some other
fucking Oh yeah these these chips have got cheese on.
Now I'm going to split the G fuck off out of our culture.
Leave our chest alone. Why?
What the fuck? Stop the boats of southern
students and fucking Cambridge. Stop the punts.
(31:48):
Stop the punts. Yeah, stop the punts.
Your ace of mouse as well. All these new pubs.
I don't, I don't know. This is going to sound like
you're lying, fatty. Yeah, but the these the pies are
what, like every pubs now? It's like it's pie.
It's pie in a pint. Everywhere is a gas.
Shop I want to go and and fucking sniff using a piss mate
(32:10):
and everything. Just like about pie.
Oh we serve hot pies. Fuck off with your hot pie.
I don't like Clive. I don't.
Like someone said to Rihanna. Yeah, I don't like, I don't
like, I don't like live music inpubs.
Well, I don't like live. Music.
Oh no music in general, like overly like like what?
(32:32):
You're a band. Yeah, right.
But if you go into music in general.
So unless you got unless you gota gig gig or like if if you've
paid to get in, fine, yeah, but like if you.
Wednesday when you don't What? Yeah.
If you've got music on, get the footy commentary on, oh you've
got a big you've got. Not necessarily if you've got
like a live person on sound. No, it's not sound football.
(32:57):
But I mean like just a like a. Standard after World away, I
want to listen to the comment. On the golf.
In a barrel pub and he got the 40 on No.
Yeah. What are you doing?
No the. Can you tell me off and play
music? The worst, Yeah.
The worst is just like a fuckingplaylist.
Yeah. And it's like fucking.
Switching over warrior fucking and is he loves school is he is
(33:19):
he my writer is that the sounds of the competition Yes local
friends again with any. Pub with a wacky I fit.
In I fit in. Any pub with a wack.
Any pub with a wacky sign. Any pub with a wacky sign like
Husband's Crash. Oh fuck off.
(33:39):
Dog friendly. Not friendly, no.
Get your dog. I'll be fucking boozing my.
Dogs are Haram. Fucking yard I want to sniff
women mates. Blacks and Irish, yes, we're the
ones you know. We're the ones who are yapping.
Leave your fucking dog at home. There's the, the the.
Park Station, Fuck off. The the fucking.
(34:01):
I hate these cafes as well, theycan fuck off.
The But it's the thing of just fucking why does why I?
Just only got 6 lives left for that joke.
Why don't do anymore? But anyway, on to me serious
point about pubs. Why anywhere that anywhere you
(34:25):
can't have a conversation. Now you go out to the pub to
have a conversation with your mates and sniff gear.
Sometimes, you know, bets. Yeah, Yeah, that's true.
And bets and slag off your significant others.
Now any place that ruins the harmoniousness of this.
I like this. I like this field.
(34:45):
Anywhere. Anywhere that ruins the
harmoniity, which is a word I'vejust made-up of this by playing
fucking music too loud. It's this very fucking.
There's too many people. There's too many.
Fucking pubs are closed down every week, there's too many
people. There should just be.
There should just be. There should just be enough room
to sit and talk. Don't need.
(35:07):
I don't need any of your wokeness of fucking music.
And I want bad. Music like ISIS.
Did I want company as well whereit's like they're not going to
wins that you're putting a bet on your phone and you're on your
phone for a minute. Yeah, yeah, like.
Get in some more. Get off your phone.
No. What, what and go I'm.
Texting your fucking man you soft swat.
(35:29):
I hate that, you know. Everton have just gone to 15 to
4:00. No, but by the way, you're
messaging other mates as well. Are you going to be like I
understand if you go to the pub,you make you make for over half
an hour, then you're gonna obviously go lad, I'll go.
You know what I mean. But if you just on your fall
over a few minutes or you measure your beard or whatever,
you of course. Well, people are just see you
picking for to go. I fuck it out.
(35:51):
Don't be anymore. Yeah, we do.
You're bored. And you're constantly people
winge winge at me for going for a cig.
It's like if you were more entertaining, I wouldn't need to
go. Yeah, if you were cool, you'd be
standing. Exactly.
Exactly. I like it.
We're going for the 'cause when he goes for a sick, it's just
that little time away. I have two.
(36:14):
I've had two. We've had two pies for each
other, now it's getting fractious.
We've spent enough time togetherin that last 8 minutes starting
to. Argue, 'cause I said Uzbeki
Stan, he said. I've had on Christmas but it was
my power and it's getting tense.You should you should have let
(36:37):
me press, you know, I press, youcan say, but I press.
But it's the but pubs need to belike, I don't understand why the
loud the loud music sounds very fucking old man, but loud music,
especially when it's just a fucking Spotify playlist
playing. Why?
(36:58):
What's? Your perfect.
What's your perfect pub and and and and shops are the side.
That's a good one. So bookies on.
Bookies, bookies and a chip Bookies.
Oh yeah, that's perfect, perfectsetup.
Flat roof kebab house? Yeah, that's a.
Good name for the band Flat Roofkebab house.
We'll get to that one. Yeah, because all you need, you
(37:23):
need, we need the shop, don't we?
For ciggies is not worse. But yeah, do you remember the
days before Keir Starmer where you could buy this?
Makes you sound very right when you buy 10 jokes, but it's like
where you could buy cigs at a pub.
Yeah, well. You can buy them casinos though.
Well, very, very exposure surprises, but but yeah, it's
(37:48):
it's good when you like off yourface at 6:00 AM and you go,
yeah, we still see casinos. You have to, you know, with the
cash desk is you have to be on it.
Which is good. I don't know.
You didn't do that. I'd have a chicken nugget.
Rob the casino for cigs, not capital.
Yet I'd have a chicken nugget chop.
Just chicken Nuggets. Just chicken Nuggets.
With gravy. Yeah, with gravy.
(38:09):
Chicken Nuggets and gravy. Oh, with chicken, chicken
Nuggets and all the dips? Nah, just gravy chicken.
Gravy. Just chicken gravy now.
Because when I'm pissed, I look like too many chips because Joe
and I say over to get 27 Nuggetsover. 27.
I have your 27 Nuggets. Sorry, hang on a minute.
(38:31):
When you stay here, we go for the piss.
On the piss. You go, I'm not going to go
home. I mean, if I stay over in
Liverpool. Yeah, I'm saying.
But when you're out with me, yeah, then you go home.
Like you go home in the hotel, Imean.
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you go to a McDonald's or no?7:00 in.
The. Chicken Bazooka.
Bazooka. Yeah, sorry, 7 Nuggets.
(38:52):
You're being stopped, purple. I'm afraid it's not about that.
It's that's a bad gaffe, that lad.
You know, it's now it's rough. You know.
That's they're the best gaffe. So these.
Are horrible people. Well, shut up, lad.
You want to do like that? Invented Invented bazookas.
(39:12):
You actually want to. Text you that didn't look.
That's not the Apple bin bazook.That's all I'm not getting.
Just 'cause you use a fucking London of the of the North.
You've not got a. You've not got a full.
Control. That's what he's on.
Used to use you from Manchester,London of the north right.
Yeah. But Manchester, Yeah, right.
OK, Manchester. I know, but you see your ass.
(39:33):
But Manchester, you see that? Jamie.
Jamie. You cry.
Anyone says anything about The Who, you cry.
Your eyes on Tony. Tony, you cry.
Obviously. Tony, watch this Manchester's
shit in it. Yeah.
Yeah, you say fucking Liverpool shit to a.
Scout so fucking if you want me just.
(39:54):
Fucking wave a purple bin to a ball, I'm saying.
Liverpool. I'm saying if Liverpool was
shit, I'd say no. But you kind of like this but.
It's not shit though is it? Because you it's got to do.
More time, Yeah. Than you do much is it?
You both love you. You have a drink.
Here in my pubs with my people, I'm the king.
(40:16):
What these two mank twats fucking winding me up?
I know I watch EX monks as well I.
Know monks, I love Jews and so today love Jews.
I just don't. I just want to.
I just want to have a nice time with me and they're setting me
up to being racist. Fuck off.
(40:36):
These have set me up to to hate me own.
They're just bad friends, man sociopath.
Sociopath. You know what footy is?
Well, footy is shit. I like 27 Nuggets one wait why
do? You get what do you get gravy
out there? Yeah.
So by the way. Basically the I sometimes say
(40:59):
that will tell next door, but one to it you just get 27
Nuggets because Nuggets can't gowrong with them, can you?
I get what you mean because you can't die off.
Nuggets, chicken frozen bag and.Chicken chicken gravy is banging
in it. I'll look at hygiene rating if
I'm getting some like Donna meat.
Yeah, yeah. That's what it's.
It's just I've got. AI love hygiene rating.
(41:26):
I love that that's the Facebook.My fingers, well.
I don't meet like that. You just know what I mean.
No, you don't. Want to be I?
Don't got food poisonous? Stop crying about.
Him so I miss record. I love doing this.
Don't get him joking, you didn'tpent Nuggets.
You've been still purple. You know what?
You've you've got your, you've got your plan and I'm on to you.
(41:47):
You've been trying to take me down because you want the hot
seat. Your.
Daughter doing hey, it's yours man.
We will last two episodes the way we have been going each
other. We, we, we build the ball out.
Welcome to Peter Caddo. You're a cunt.
I told you about this. Proper punch bags, yeah.
(42:09):
You need. Yeah, you need to.
It's a very proper old woman. Oh.
It's a very toxic. I just want to be.
Oh it's nice and toxic now. Let's close it bro.
I still know no live pill apparently all over them but.
Has Dean Luca Dean been booked yet?
Red Arrows. Luca Dean.
(42:30):
We need another pint. There's no yellow cards at all.
Yeah. Oh, you're taking the money?
Yeah. Oh well, don't cut it.
We need another pint, say we need another pint.
We need another pint. Don't cut it, leave the head on.
(42:53):
All right, so the public son. Do you think you could last the
zombie apocalypse? Oh, that's awesome.
That little conversation. Oh, it's.
You've come on me, you're not fucking sitting silent me and.
He gives you shit shit in silence.
It's just I'm bringing the truthyou don't want to hear.
(43:14):
It's 5 purple bins. It's 5:30 in the kitchen, Uber
is not connected and the feller is not dropping off.
What do you reckon about the pyramids?
What's your opinion? What's your kitchen, Jews?
What's your kitchen X now kitchen chatting that's.
(43:36):
Ours. Ours is fucking.
That's a good start at the wall.This is kitchen chatting.
This is this is all. When you would like to your
mates and they just just decide to just talk and just say that
you don't even hear. That's no, I don't feel like
that. What are you doing?
I. Just feel left out 1 I feel left
(43:56):
out on my own podcast, man. I don't because I don't.
I don't like fucking Wigan 2002 man.
I like talking about. Because the bins are not purple.
What did you say talk about? Girls I.
Want to talk about? Girls.
Yeah, these are both got girlfriends.
(44:16):
No, see, I'm just left out man. You've not left out, you've got
a. Girlfriend on you?
Shut up lad. She is public.
No, no, no. You'll get a girlfriend soon.
Yeah, Pie is your girlfriend gonna be?
Friends for me. No.
Well, no. In a word.
(44:37):
Oh God. The but there's there's play.
So can I. I know a girl called Sean Paula.
Shit. No, that's not very funny.
Never mind, That's Wigan. You're quiet, Dad.
What have you been up to this week?
What, How much more time do we have to fill?
(44:58):
Oh, about 10-15 minutes. Oh.
Ted, did you say? Yeah, that's what I'm 42 at the
minute. So oh, that's it.
That's it take. To the corner, baby.
Don't say that because they'll work out the edit points.
I've got 42 minutes, it's got 37. 4212.
(45:21):
Girls, 3rd of April. Barclaysman Quiz.
Or do you want to talk about them mate?
Apart from girls, no, I feel guilty now you may feel.
Guilt don't like, you know I don't laugh.
No, but you laugh at me sometimes.
You just you just sometimes. We've been there.
(45:45):
Long time. Long time three years, right?
And you know I love your man. Glad you let me brother me.
Like I think sometimes when we have guests on and it's not a
fiance we meet, you know what I mean?
But I think sometimes when we have guests on, like, I don't
like, I don't like, I don't likesilences, you know, those and a
panic. I love silence.
And obviously, silence. Is the best podcast.
You'll appreciate what I've beendoing for three.
(46:05):
Years Nature's podcast, everyone.
Says we're the best you're because you're the funny 1 and I
keep the conversation flow but Ican't seem to do it.
I can't seem to do it. Some conversations about when
I'm flagging bro. Yeah, I'm thinking what I'm
saying. You've said that you want.
There's been and. What I'm trying to say is,
excuse me. Sorry, guests.
What? I'm guests won't shut up.
(46:27):
So what I'm trying to say is what, you know, three years
meets a long time. And I and Alice and I know my
role in this relationship and I'd champion you.
I'm the biggest fan, you know that.
But sometimes when when, when, when a podcast man.
And I'm flagging bro. And I'm digging.
Yeah, I need you to just put your arm around and go.
You know what? So.
I've got. I've got I do it every live
(46:47):
show. Live shows.
Oh, oh, so have you got something to say now I.
Do I? Do I know?
OK, so do you think you would? So men's men glasses zombie
apocalypse? That was a bit men's men Kleil
for me. That that's men need to do that.
Don't men need to talk more? Go out.
I know we've got to guess that'snot very professional, but come
(47:08):
on, you're not very professional.
Well, excuse me, I've no. Why is your hair still daft?
Fucking paid for a wig. 33 gramsworth of wig.
Yeah, no, I thought. I thought about doing it up and
then I thought, well, I don't know.
So I just watch. Why I was compliment, you know,
I think it's, I think you've done a good job.
(47:30):
It's as good it was. It's good.
It's as good as it's gonna go. And if you look on the last
episode, episode one out of the.15 You can see how they see the.
Oh, I know what we can feel. Time.
Oh, yeah. OK.
The panelists. Yeah. 5 minutes of that fuck,
you know. Do a number generator Danny,
please. This is no, it's just.
Say number. This is absolute color flash on
(47:51):
the. Circle.
Come on lads, this is the last one.
The last the last one. Was I'd be able to pay?
Oh yeah, 'cause that's probably be.
Able to pay wall This one's beengood I.
Mean that was the one before. Was that another one before?
Or was it? Oh no.
Have you noticed we're getting better?
So I'll be, we'll be more honestwith each other.
You know what I mean? And if we've got a problem,
we're just. We're just saying that is mine.
Yeah, it's nice. Too short.
And we make up. I feel guilty now.
(48:11):
Yeah. No.
Listen, bad girl. No.
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I don't have human coils. OK.
That is right what you want one time.
I was on a break because, you know, we work so hard.
What? What number are we on total?
(49:34):
Yeah, because it's 2000, so I'venot have.
You still been? Yeah, I've had it, I've had it,
I've had it when it can be add. Finger all, I said before.
But the last one is work shy fetus.
The body blue heavy. The body blue baby.
There's another good there's another good one.
Nah, wait, that's Firebush. There's another good there's
(49:56):
another good one on the on the dog's.
Not what do you look shy becauseshe's not shy because.
What? What did I say?
No, fuck that. Was just bro genius.
But what is also Gloucester del Sol?
What did I say that thing I. Can't.
Remember you saying summit flat roof, flat roof?
There you go, right Do me number12.
(50:18):
What 2? 1640, Phil. 264. 2644.
The random number is 770 scroll.That's 770, yeah.
Oh, we've got some stuff, Google.
And while you're doing that, Dad?
What do you? Have a little think, yeah.
Tell me how to do me Google. I want you to have a little
think as the producer. I want you to add 1 to the list.
(50:41):
By time we finish, you get thinking what used to be on this
list too. It's got a close I'm sure is.
It's got to come. It's.
Got Soviet sausage 770. Soviet sausage.
It's not great. Soviet Soviet sausage.
I like how I like how that feels.
There's a 777 is Trauma factory.It's a good metal band.
(51:01):
There. I like that.
That's a good factory. All right.
I've got one 1001. I think there's something round
there is autistic Republican Army, but it's not that one
lunatic lunatic central, the jolly Ayatollah not far from
there. Yeah.
(51:24):
Yeah. Winds of witness.
Hey, hey. Hey.
What's your? Bin.
Oh, yeah, he's got a purple bin,by the way.
What? He hasn't got a purple bin.
Oh. I've got a little mini.
Might as well die, I'm a friends.
Oh, there you go. Come on.
That that can't happen. It's just, it's just, it's.
Just like that man. Just funny take that it's.
(51:46):
Funny to pretend you are though,so.
I said you saw this scam the other day, you already seen it.
That was like 3 weeks ago. Oh sorry, because I've got my
vulture authority that are yoursand then my personal one that's
adult. For.
Persian No, there's, there's there's time for business and
there's time for granddad. There's time for granddad's
(52:06):
whatever. There's time for granddad's gym
girls. There's no, there's no gym girls
on there. Granddad's granddad's spam next.
I don't love their maps. Is it a crime for want to see
young ladies with healthy thighs?
(52:27):
No. I like a camel foot.
Anything wrong with like a camelfoot?
We do another number lad. It's.
Got a bit of sand in it. Oh my God. 1273 no 1273 tell me
(52:57):
when we hit 50 so we can fuck off.
Rancid torso, slow motion suicide.
Do you ever remember any of these white like?
Some of it, yeah, you have. A problem.
Inside you go what? Use your time and place where
you don't. Just want it synagogue tactics.
Where was you there? It's definitely.
Not me. So it's definitely, it's
(53:18):
definitely something around how do you call it, call me tight.
That's funny. You're at the pub where your
synagogue tactic. What do you mean you'll get
round in the next pub where there's 20PG?
Synagogue tactic. I wanted Daniel Bevy, not Daniel
(53:41):
Levy. Bruised cervix is in there as
well. Brutal.
Tameside Karate, yeah. Remember that one?
The Jism Prism. That's really I like that one.
(54:01):
Litigious child. Anything else?
Not really, no. 3rd of April, yeah. 3rd of April I'll.
Score C as well. We've got the, we've got the
band. Band gigs on Manchester and
London come to the 6th 25th of April.
(54:22):
Manchester no bad. Friend the 6th, 20, 5th. 25th of
April, Manchester. 4th of May, London.
Nice, nice. Go to them.
Go to them, you never know, we might be there.
Probably not. Yeah, you said you'd show up
afterwards, but because you got your.
(54:43):
Yeah, yeah. Incoherent bubble again.
Yes, Barclays wink quiz hot water fire things come come to
it. You can buy that T-shirt.
You can buy this. Oh yeah, buy these.
Yeah, buy them. Oh wow.
God, this must be 100 lbs. No.
It's so smooth. No, only £2020.00.
(55:06):
You need to make some. Money for yourself, that's.
You. Need to make some money for
yourself? No, I know.
That's so. Good.
Oh, it feels I'm trying to. It's great.
I'm. Trying to flog it without making
much profit of 2 LB to go well. I was thinking we will get the
volume. We haven't got the volume.
So you know what? That's it's very nice.
(55:29):
It reminds you Palestine, Oh. Well, there you.
Go save him. So it's free me.
Free him from the shackles of work.
Yeah. But you guys?
I will join Hamas. Well, that's us.
He's a good guy. He's our friend.
He's Fionn. Well, the Hezbollah, but you
know. Authority.
They're making the movement. Go and support the quiz.
(55:52):
Come and see me and Jamie on tour or wherever.
Do something, Give us money. All Red Arrows.
Let's get to watch the match.
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I'll record. Hello, everyone.
Welcome back to the episode Yeahof Hot Waters Green Room Podcast
with me, Tony Carroll. Well, I thought we was leaving
the intro thing. No, I'll roll the tape again.
Start again. I don't like that angle.
Tony's angry because he wants towatch the mighty deads.
That who's not in 40 minutes andthese two banks are fucking
(03:02):
stopping me watching. It he's doing his fake Adam Rowe
thing where he presents. It's a big Liverpool.
I'll just. Luke Whitley Just.
Because you don't show your team, I'm telling.
Me. Mobi and fucking Captain A I'll.
Just get off, you know I don't give a fuck just 'cause you
(03:22):
don't show your team on telly mate.
Hey, they do. They do.
Messy, messy. On the Comedy Channel.
On UK TV just for guys. Talented, Talented.
(03:46):
How are we meet in? What are you doing?
Have you had the back on this again?
Because you've got oh, oh, sorry, sorry for you.
You've got sort of interrupting the broadcasting of Dapper
Laughs Reform UK Member of Parliament constituency
political broadcast site. Former guest staple Off So you
(04:10):
want to respect? Yes, yes.
Oh, Oh no. Most retaining guest ever.
This is 15th time. Because I've got someone else to
promote. Maybe.
Maybe the 13th time will work. It won't.
What are you? Being up to my mates, I haven't
seen you for ages because you'd normally be pumping to each
other and have a few bevies or agig.
So store for what have you been up to?
(04:31):
Honestly, pleasure. Yeah.
Live gigs battered in him. Oh my God am I enjoying it.
Oh, we've had. We've had some smells of mental
health now. Oh, we've had we've had some
men's men, Klev. Dipping me toe in his men Klev
pole keep your. Granddad going oh bitter, bitter
(04:52):
oldest friends looking oh, he's in trouble.
We just we cheer each other up right at the John chained it up
and so it's bad happened to me. Oh, you've you've kept granddad
away from noose on another six hours.
Oh, you've had a minor inconvenience?
Which? Decorators, do tell me, man,
you've. Got a page on Instagram let you
(05:13):
do the granddad wishes? We've got a group chat.
Yeah, me. And so everyone keeps going.
I can't wait for Woznack to respond.
Woznack told me to do it, so shut up with that.
Yeah. Well, actually it was our Co.
Creation. Yeah, we created it in Hull.
On. The dot, when we was walking
with our suit cares, we stumbledacross a pub called umber dock
(05:36):
Umber Dock and I just, he went, he went.
That's a great name. I went.
That's somewhere where your granddad would take your grand
and think it's posh. It's like a Wetherspoon.
I talked, I talked down to Margaret and it just, you know,
when you smash it in front of the mate, oh, there's something
in this. We went into Umbadoc and we
(05:57):
went. All they do is trash it.
They don't. They don't know.
I've always, I've always thoughtplaces that do a pot and a bit a
bit a bit Roman. They don't.
I don't want it in a buckle. I want it.
But there was also Cuban Pete's.Cuban beach, Cuban pizzas and an
(06:24):
ill advised Mexican theme bar inwhole. 10 LB pita coladas in
the. Whole and we see I swear to God
yeah we went in there for the drink before the cake like just
having a pint and there was a guy with a daughter outside it's
all got like your. But he was like about 70 when
he's got. Some funny hats and he's he's
got his daughter's hand and he'spointing out all the hats and
(06:46):
she walked. She's like human Pete's like
that. And, and he just looks at it and
he went come on now and March off.
And it was like one day you might go to Cuban beach.
I'll check your Cuban Peach one day if you're good.
One day for your graduation. If you do your STSES.
I'll get you a question, do I ona tortilla?
(07:09):
They doing that? Now you can't damage your
lapping hours to expansion. It plays havoc.
So what's been going on? What's what's been happening?
Have you been sad or? I know everything sad, yeah, but
it hasn't. It's got an appointment.
(07:30):
About not been. Slacked.
Yeah, yeah, I've done, yes. That was very job Centre.
Have you? Have you managed to contain the
gainful employment well? Show us your job searches.
Have you spent 35 hours this week looking?
Not a job you. Got me out of that one, Sir.
(07:52):
Oh, that was a classic one. He's logged in.
Sons of Cricket going to send mea feature.
DM Job. Interviews.
OK for interview. Job interview conducted by DM.
Oh yes, do we show them the M just to get your fucking JSA
it's. Something in it.
Yeah, it's not now. Not under Starmers Britain.
What's he done now to change? It I don't know.
(08:13):
I don't know, but you know, we've got a a Barclaysman pub
quiz for promote. That's why I'm.
Oh, that was smooth. There you go.
Where's? Where's that?
That's Hot Water's green room, and it's not in green room, but
there you go. That was it's hot water.
It might be you don't know what tickets US is.
That What was it? Yeah, with if Do you want to
(08:34):
test your football autism against Jamie?
Come and buy a ticket. You've voted.
Into that. Oh yeah.
Of course, yeah. I can't take a fee Colour what?
Oh no, it'd be it'd be split all.
All 7 tickets will be split equally.
No, just get me a pint, right? There you go.
Oh well. Unless I'll do it.
Unless. I'm fine.
I reserve the right to say unless you sell it out, Oh, I'm
(08:57):
scared. Which is?
Oh yeah. Can I?
I'll do it for money. Oh well.
I don't get any rights, but I'lldo it for money.
I'll be like that. I mean, you're asking.
No, Yeah, but. Full nail that please.
Yeah. But yeah, that's that's that so.
(09:20):
Nice, there's your plug out today.
That's that done, yeah. And all that's left to do is
thank Liverpool City Council forthe ample parking.
That's a. Joke.
What's that? What's happened with basically?
These cunts. Yeah, because of the evidence.
New ground, whenever he bought us a new ground, he obviously
didn't think about parking. So that now all the area around
(09:45):
it, all in the all the area around it though put everything
in our the council put a bit, the council put a no parking
thing in, you know what I mean? So it's going to affect
businesses, it's going to affectresidents.
You know if you want to go roundfor a party to your mates house
you can't. We can't do we shouldn't be
driving anyway, so. Staying over.
If it's a sober part. Dude, yeah.
(10:06):
Fucking dealers in Liverpool outside 6 miles away, outside
Black Island, 1.2 miles away Black Island.
That's what he there, that's. Oh God, oh fucking.
Well, with that, well that's that.
(10:27):
We've got Cheltenham coming around, we've got.
Cheltenham. Around me Father's again.
Oh, yes, me dad fucking you Never seen.
I wish I had that love of me. Just tell me he goes out.
He just goes. And he'll just fucking mumble
his jargon. I mean, I'm gonna go.
(10:47):
You mad. Sexy's Eye, A bacon sandwich.
He does you sometimes. I'm just sitting there.
Yeah, watching a bachelor. I do feel like.
It's become such a character joke.
(11:09):
It's time to do on sports. Yeah, yeah.
He's on tonight, is there? Yeah, he's got a gig.
To watch Spiky Michael. Put me on.
I'm in the same bracket as Mike Osborne.
I'm a fucking Jesus. Great one.
Yeah, love the But now there's like a great bits of your dad's
folklore. What one sort of said.
(11:31):
I didn't know if I'd be back on the Wednesday.
Then I won a bet in Japan and I had money to spend and I was
back. Oh.
Yeah, you wanted your last bit. The last bit wouldn't.
It Yeah. And there's a Oh yeah, when
Daniel got very confused while Iwas taking my top off, when I
almost finished fourth and won me a grand.
Jumping around the house, babe. Fuck it.
Have you? Have you spoke better already?
(11:53):
Yeah, if you when we watched racing, though, I, I have like a
little peccadillo. If I'm in with a chance, yeah, I
stand up and move the chair. The chair.
Goes you see, they see it at thetop of the thing.
Fucking 27 fences to go. And I'll just see I need and I
need me jumping room. So I'm screaming mine.
(12:13):
Yeah, I, I, I scream like. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it wins. I'll say some Partridge like
that, sport that. You're a fucker.
So we're we're a shouty house. So like fucking go out.
It's just chaos. And then we're cheering and shut
(12:36):
up. And in 3rd place, it's Mantis
Star in fourth. He's drawing the curtain. 5th,
5th. Table on the moon.
Table on the moon. He pays for doesn't pay for
anything, but there's also uncle, well, Uncle Pete as well.
(12:57):
I missed her aneurysm as a he's just aneurysm.
His his uncle just screams like but I've never seen a man go
red. It's full veins, full deep vein
thrombosis time. It's proper.
How many years have you seen it?Well, it's me, me, Fionn, Pete
and my dad. I mean, it used to be bigger,
(13:18):
but obviously people have passedaway and that, but it used.
To be Oh my God. But when they didn't have to
stay in, they. Put my tent.
(13:39):
Oh, Sullivan fucking oh, he's gone.
Oh, he's a fan of this pod. Oh.
Well, it's one last page. Did you?
Fix next to go out of the last. One, we've lost two patrons.
Yeah, what the hell? She's.
Been over there. Nobody.
Yeah. You were sat well sat next.
To go out of the folder out of 40s could.
(14:03):
Be me on day one, probably £200 down.
It's just are there any are? There any big wins recently?
Oh no, that's the great injustice.
That's Thomas C Check. Got speed for three grand.
Yeah. Yeah, we have a rule where we're
not allowed to wins because my looks worse.
No, you can't. You won in Japan five years ago.
(14:26):
No, I had I had a power Torres get subbed off for Tyrone Meng's
cost Me 2 1/2 grand. Two check 3 1/2 me.
That's the worst one this year. So I put it on the sky and then
he got he got fucking books the week after as well.
Every time. I see the week after rule I'll
fucking annoy you. Track someone back on the
(14:47):
counter. How annoying is the week after
rule? You can guarantee whoever we've
missed out on the next week willschool or get booked although.
Holgate, you are better, no? Holgate Syndrome.
Oh, Mason Holgate 8 fouls Marty.8 fouls on card cost us a.
Batting fucking Atkinson. Cost us on a fucking.
(15:08):
Suit Spazzies 1 deserves to. Default.
Atkinsonitis. How the fuck I miss an
automation? Holgate syndrome is like it's
like there's a tornado and you're in the middle of it.
That's. What this looks like like
there's. A name is Martin Atkinson
destroys lives. Yeah, if there was a tornado
(15:31):
ripped through, we'd. Fucking wave play onto the Helen
Hunt in Twister. Let it go, let it go, play on
play. Right.
One more shipment and then you're off.
You are on the patio West. Atkinson let's everything go.
(15:51):
In fact, if Shipment was the CDM, he'd be fucking.
Like he's the Elsa of referee. Just.
Fucking. Yeah, that's me, the podcast.
Thank you very much for that. Off the Red Arrows.
Yeah. Did you you come to watch me our
show, didn't you? I did.
Did you do? It it was fantastic.
(16:12):
Oh, thank. You very much you go to.
The one you were at. Yeah, Fiona's entourage.
I've watched a few, though. Oh, you watched my?
Oh, no, You came in with the pipe.
Yeah, just come backstage. Yeah.
Fiat. Fiat.
Yeah. So, you know, as comics made,
Fiona can get into anywhere he wants to.
Yeah, but he brings it onto ours.
(16:33):
Doesn't he? Yeah.
Strangers, Yeah. But because it's usually I owe
them money, there's a good way of not paying.
Right. I don't owe you that money.
I haven't got it. Put it.
Here's what I can do. Would you be backstage at Jamie?
Do you? Have a parasocial relationship
with one or both of the hot water green Room podcast I can
saw you. Do you want Do you want a non
(16:54):
functioning bottle opener? Would you like a tea towel that
absorbs fuck all? I mean man, anti absorbent,
really the opposite of that. Job you'll just spread water on
your plate. We had a few drinks after, but
we had to, I had to get back tonight, but we had a few drinks
(17:15):
after the B&M in our local, Yeah, in our local, we always go
to one after opposite. Wayfarer.
Yeah, it's all right there. Like all right.
So these decent little Bowser. It's well lit.
I don't like it to blind. Granddad's cat are actually not
for good. Plenty of corners by watching an
(17:36):
Aston Villa game. Barclay Martin Atkinson though,
you give a goal kick for the corner.
In mine, Barclays. Trying to keep some sort of
(17:56):
yeah. There's a.
I've never seen something blow up so much and not monetize.
Yeah, shut. Off.
It's hard to monetize that. Folder, especially when Sky Bet
just go, oh, we're gonna have this.
Yeah, just take it off, yeah. We're gonna have the back this
one. And here's 10 fans who know fuck
all about football on our shows.Yeah, I think, well, I think
Frank Lampard shut up. Yeah, no, but and then you get
(18:21):
fucking grief for saying can we please have some money that
you've just robbed off us? So that's the live show for.
While we're robbing the chase, aren't we?
Your mark loves a bet. That's good.
That's there. You go see the beast, yeah.
He looks like me. I could do that job.
Then yeah, and then we're just going to get some cattle out.
(18:42):
The audience might might be me and James if no one turns up,
but yeah. And then ask questions.
What are you and James going? To do talk shit probably, but
but it's going to be the chase and we're going to have like
we're going to have a good discussion first on the there's.
Going to be different sections of the show.
Yes, we're going to talk shit. What one of the sections?
Is going to be the quiz where you.
(19:02):
Beat the chaser, basically. Yeah, basically the Barclaysman.
Yeah, but like, for not like, not for, not for robbing
purposes, because I know how like, what's it the dead men got
done for Robin? What was it?
Yeah. Yeah.
So he's. Going to be.
So it's the thrill of the with Bradley washed and and yeah,
(19:28):
we'll talk, we'll do it and thenwe'll do some basically some
some good old fashioned football.
But proper not who played for Arsenal once.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, you know, you like you see, like see some fucking
absolute dog shit things on Instagram like, oh, football
trivia. Oh, this is a hard one.
It's not. It's Peter loving cramps.
Not hard Rangers in Newcastle. Oh, that's hard.
(19:49):
Is it OK? Do you like, do you like, do you
like the girl pundits? You know the you know the ball
knowledge. Slump Peg.
She's got a just yeah, isn't she?
She's, I'm sure she's, she's just.
Intelligent man. This is why women don't feel
safe in the game, Tony. But she got the card.
She's not. She's not shy and I woke my
(20:09):
back. Yeah, well, I'm not well.
She can stump peg me mate. She's not Sharon Massey.
With some reason. If I meant Shannon Matthews,
that's the interesting. Ones.
Have you ever seen a picture of them too?
You. Look like Shannon Matthews mum
and dad. Yeah, have you ever seen a
picture of fucking Bernard Matthews?
(20:29):
I'm gobbling. Well.
So I'm saying like a fucking pedo mate.
You look like Shannon Matthews, mum.
Yeah, she was a norm's mate. She's a.
Kid for money. Same thing or?
Whatever. Actually, you know what?
Yeah, just keep up just fine women, bro.
Well, you're not allowed to say your beards fit anymore.
(20:51):
What not not like? That you?
Probably not. Probably not.
With the why? Well, just Starmer's Britain,
isn't it? Starmer can't do that because of
Starmer. So when's your quiz?
It's the 3rd of April. Buy tickets.
How much are the tickets? Tenner because my days are
aiming last on a Thursday. Hopefully stomp eggs hands up.
(21:16):
Well, that's it, That's it, that's it.
But a future, future dealings with that.
Yeah. Someone's asked for us to get it
on as well. Oh mate, chop all the salt
anyway. So what date did you say?
The 3rd of April, 3rd of the second of the what?
10 lbs. What?
Oh. No, yeah, see Jamie Hutchinson
(21:37):
talk about Wigan in 2002. Yeah, that's an.
Amazing value, but people fucking.
Definitely going to be there daddy.
Why don't you make yourself useful to buy?
Buy yourselves 2 tickets for me and you 2.
Well, me too. Well, there's only two of us.
Yeah. Jack, go before.
I want to book them now. Why am I buying your ticket?
(21:59):
Yeah, sure thing. Hey, you sold that car yet?
Yeah, sold it to Carvana. Oh, I thought you were selling
to that guy. The guy who wanted to pay me in
foreign currency, no interest over 36 months.
Yeah, no. Carvana gave me an offer in
minutes, picked it up and paid me on the spot.
It was so convenient. Just like that.
(22:20):
Yeah, no hassle. None.
That is. Super convenient.
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(22:44):
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That's $50 off with codelisten@bluenile.com.
Because I'm skins. But now that people win John
(23:05):
about they want they want kitchen chat.
You know this is as well, just not.
There's any fucking good footy quizzes about?
We can have a pint to that. As well.
So there you go. Exactly.
You know what, you could be on something, maybe this is where
you're going to monetize it and get rich and famous baby.
Possibly, but it's probably going to just be another another
chapter in the Book of defeat. Probably.
(23:25):
How's the music? Going, oh, well, Speaking of
defeat, that's there. Well, it's just like it's all
you were saying before about music and comedy.
ICS. Oh yeah, that's a segment.
No, we weren't. This is totally unplanned.
I. Mean dude, yeah.
I mean the unscripted, but yeah.Well show comedy ICS, some
(23:45):
music. Is there anything anything to
full time? Well, it was last week on
Tuesday. No, no, last Tuesday, last
Tuesday. Where was you?
I was. I can't think of anything funny.
I'm just going to ignore what you just said.
Proceed. OK, I'll just ask some
questions. But the Yeah.
(24:06):
So, yeah, music going badly. That's but it's just it's one of
it's all like this is the music I was going to think talk about
was nepotism, nepotism, nepotism, nepotism.
Everybody's fucking like I've keep seeing.
Oh, everyone's favorite band nowis Inhaler.
(24:26):
Do you know who he is? Fucking Bono's son.
Fuck off. Oh, is it?
Yeah. Fuck off.
Inhale of the supported Weezer. That's world class.
That's world class. Off the Dome inhaler supported
Weezer. You're fucking washed.
You too. That's my comedy ache.
Not getting me flowers, just clutching begrudgingly.
(24:51):
Inhaler Spotted Weasel. No, I wouldn't do that on stage.
Just do 5 minutes today have. You guys heard of the new band?
Have you heard? Of inhaler?
No, you should have just supported Weezer.
We've not heard of them either. Fuck off.
Get off. I just I just.
(25:18):
Keep catching Tony's Tony's face.
It's just like, it's just the last one.
So have you got a comedy? X Oh, there's all, there's
plenty. Because you are a.
Shouting in the audience space. Yeah, any, anything.
Just anything. Just crass and low.
(25:40):
Did you watch the show box? There's an hour of it there.
Four square packs. I need, I need gingers.
Gingers that aren't Paul Smith. I've got a music kick, by the
way, when I start, when I first started out.
(26:02):
You do a mix, you do like some mixed bills.
So it's music, poetry and comedy.
Do some mixed bills, some 10, some 20s.
And they had, they had a band down.
They're a band up from down South and it was just comics in
the audience, Joe Tiger Lounge. It.
Was just comics that went there but they had a band on at the
end. Guy got on the floor to play
(26:26):
guitar. Playing guitar.
Like lay down, go round in a circle and drive Jimmy Hendrix.
Open my comic, go round. Like spin around playing it,
yeah. Yeah, got up to see 5 comics in
the notebooks and he and he wentoh shit, he'd gone down at a
pint. What was it, soaking?
Worse, he was just soaking. But he went committed.
(26:51):
Fuck. That don't I can't get wet.
Oh, my music is my music. Anyone who plays a certain song.
Anyone. Anyone all all your all your
(27:13):
open mics? Anyone who plays black stock
market man? Country.
It's fucking hey, the baby just a little here.
Can't. Stop fire can't start a fire.
(27:33):
Without a spark, this goods fireI got about the good of my
pocket. The odd things in the go, like
the the answer, my friend. Just blowing in the wind.
Yeah. And so now was blowing in that
wind. Yeah.
Thanks for helping Bob Dylan along there.
(27:54):
Really. Is that like what?
I can do, I can change. His limit to use buying I think
Bob Dylan you. Are right?
Yeah, I just want to. Let me add a couple of
connective words that don't really add anything.
There's a there's a lot of shit open mic songs in there.
There's a lot of a lot of country shit now.
Oh my God my biggest fucking Dick is people do potential of
(28:18):
country music now. Oh yeah, salute Combs.
And that's it. Oh.
My God. Oh, that was song about blue
jeans and drinking beer. Which one?
Every single. I.
Mean are the are the. That one's talking about his
ranch. The one about the fucking the
chicken. I actually like I actually like
saying country songs, but now I just feel like I can't because
(28:40):
being so. Fucking country was great back
in the day when it was just fucking Dolly people.
Come back in the day. Dolly Parton, Johnny Cash's
proper. I mean like, yeah, I'm talking
yeah, back in the. Day, of course.
That's country. I'm talking Sunday sport reviews
for talking like country music, I'm talking. 10 years, I give
her a fucking talking to myself.I give her a fucking nine to
(29:02):
five. Shit, where you going?
I'm. Just swapping so.
You say you stay here, you help me out, give a letter into my
Tennessee mountain. I like Tennessee Whiskey by
Chris Stapleton. You're as smooth.
There's Tennessee whiskey, of course.
(29:22):
Sounds red zone. You're as rough as a pint to
Carly. You're as rough as John Smith.
Smile. I've got one for all of us.
Small butting, rich as Bolton cream.
(29:42):
I've got one for where we can all like, get involved in a
conversation, right? I've got 1.
I'm sorry Pub Pubix. Oh, you see, look, I've.
Got my friends back, I've got myfriends back.
I don't know in about 2001 Charlotte of letters queuing.
I do know a good pub. Queuing in.
(30:03):
That's a very modern phenomenon of queuing as as in a queue and
not at the market. That's not where.
People go. These.
Kuntu fucking kuntu pushing. I got pushed in on by an.
That is the one place in the world you don't want.
You don't push in. Everyone should just be.
Sound and chill man, you're going to get your points.
Some little 19 year old rat pushes in between in between me,
(30:26):
the minds being beat you and. Your mind is just quite
controversial. Pushing in is just unacceptable.
Never pushed. If you've ever pushed in at the
bar, you deserve to die. Yes, man, I like, I like to
drink Guinness. Yeah, but I hate this thing now
where you pour half your pints and then you're waiting 7
minutes to sobber up. I understand.
(30:46):
That's the part. I know.
I get what you mean, but now there's people who take it
serious. We covered it, we covered it.
We covered it when I Oh, you're a good Guinness and.
Yeah, I don't put me. It's not sad.
What? Do you mean like to settle it
too much? Yeah.
The paint's warm and then are you splitting the GI?
(31:07):
Well, I'm going to have some mates instead.
Shut up. Yeah.
But the the split yeah, split inthe G any oh, there's a well
blame Paul Mescal for that was like large is the fucking cunt
off normal people and. How the fuck am I having to know
who that is? It's been taken over by these
corduroy caps. They've just come home from
(31:27):
their fucking TikTok fucked university reviewing some other
fucking Oh yeah these these chips have got cheese on.
Now I'm going to split the G fuck off out of our culture.
Leave our chest alone. Why?
What the fuck? Stop the boats of southern
students and fucking Cambridge. Stop the punts.
(31:48):
Stop the punts. Yeah, stop the punts.
Your ace of mouse as well. All these new pubs.
I don't, I don't know. This is going to sound like
you're lying, fatty. Yeah, but the these the pies are
what, like every pubs now? It's like it's pie.
It's pie in a pint. Everywhere is a gas.
Shop I want to go and and fucking sniff using a piss mate
(32:10):
and everything. Just like about pie.
Oh we serve hot pies. Fuck off with your hot pie.
I don't like Clive. I don't.
Like someone said to Rihanna. Yeah, I don't like, I don't
like, I don't like live music inpubs.
Well, I don't like live. Music.
Oh no music in general, like overly like like what?
(32:32):
You're a band. Yeah, right.
But if you go into music in general.
So unless you got unless you gota gig gig or like if if you've
paid to get in, fine, yeah, but like if you.
Wednesday when you don't What? Yeah.
If you've got music on, get the footy commentary on, oh you've
got a big you've got. Not necessarily if you've got
like a live person on sound. No, it's not sound football.
(32:57):
But I mean like just a like a. Standard after World away, I
want to listen to the comment. On the golf.
In a barrel pub and he got the 40 on No.
Yeah. What are you doing?
No the. Can you tell me off and play
music? The worst, Yeah.
The worst is just like a fuckingplaylist.
Yeah. And it's like fucking.
Switching over warrior fucking and is he loves school is he is
(33:19):
he my writer is that the sounds of the competition Yes local
friends again with any. Pub with a wacky I fit.
In I fit in. Any pub with a wack.
Any pub with a wacky sign. Any pub with a wacky sign like
Husband's Crash. Oh fuck off.
(33:39):
Dog friendly. Not friendly, no.
Get your dog. I'll be fucking boozing my.
Dogs are Haram. Fucking yard I want to sniff
women mates. Blacks and Irish, yes, we're the
ones you know. We're the ones who are yapping.
Leave your fucking dog at home. There's the, the the.
Park Station, Fuck off. The the fucking.
(34:01):
I hate these cafes as well, theycan fuck off.
The But it's the thing of just fucking why does why I?
Just only got 6 lives left for that joke.
Why don't do anymore? But anyway, on to me serious
point about pubs. Why anywhere that anywhere you
(34:25):
can't have a conversation. Now you go out to the pub to
have a conversation with your mates and sniff gear.
Sometimes, you know, bets. Yeah, Yeah, that's true.
And bets and slag off your significant others.
Now any place that ruins the harmoniousness of this.
I like this. I like this field.
(34:45):
Anywhere. Anywhere that ruins the
harmoniity, which is a word I'vejust made-up of this by playing
fucking music too loud. It's this very fucking.
There's too many people. There's too many.
Fucking pubs are closed down every week, there's too many
people. There should just be.
There should just be. There should just be enough room
to sit and talk. Don't need.
(35:07):
I don't need any of your wokeness of fucking music.
And I want bad. Music like ISIS.
Did I want company as well whereit's like they're not going to
wins that you're putting a bet on your phone and you're on your
phone for a minute. Yeah, yeah, like.
Get in some more. Get off your phone.
No. What, what and go I'm.
Texting your fucking man you soft swat.
(35:29):
I hate that, you know. Everton have just gone to 15 to
4:00. No, but by the way, you're
messaging other mates as well. Are you going to be like I
understand if you go to the pub,you make you make for over half
an hour, then you're gonna obviously go lad, I'll go.
You know what I mean. But if you just on your fall
over a few minutes or you measure your beard or whatever,
you of course. Well, people are just see you
picking for to go. I fuck it out.
(35:51):
Don't be anymore. Yeah, we do.
You're bored. And you're constantly people
winge winge at me for going for a cig.
It's like if you were more entertaining, I wouldn't need to
go. Yeah, if you were cool, you'd be
standing. Exactly.
Exactly. I like it.
We're going for the 'cause when he goes for a sick, it's just
that little time away. I have two.
(36:14):
I've had two. We've had two pies for each
other, now it's getting fractious.
We've spent enough time togetherin that last 8 minutes starting
to. Argue, 'cause I said Uzbeki
Stan, he said. I've had on Christmas but it was
my power and it's getting tense.You should you should have let
(36:37):
me press, you know, I press, youcan say, but I press.
But it's the but pubs need to belike, I don't understand why the
loud the loud music sounds very fucking old man, but loud music,
especially when it's just a fucking Spotify playlist
playing. Why?
(36:58):
What's? Your perfect.
What's your perfect pub and and and and shops are the side.
That's a good one. So bookies on.
Bookies, bookies and a chip Bookies.
Oh yeah, that's perfect, perfectsetup.
Flat roof kebab house? Yeah, that's a.
Good name for the band Flat Roofkebab house.
We'll get to that one. Yeah, because all you need, you
(37:23):
need, we need the shop, don't we?
For ciggies is not worse. But yeah, do you remember the
days before Keir Starmer where you could buy this?
Makes you sound very right when you buy 10 jokes, but it's like
where you could buy cigs at a pub.
Yeah, well. You can buy them casinos though.
Well, very, very exposure surprises, but but yeah, it's
(37:48):
it's good when you like off yourface at 6:00 AM and you go,
yeah, we still see casinos. You have to, you know, with the
cash desk is you have to be on it.
Which is good. I don't know.
You didn't do that. I'd have a chicken nugget.
Rob the casino for cigs, not capital.
Yet I'd have a chicken nugget chop.
Just chicken Nuggets. Just chicken Nuggets.
With gravy. Yeah, with gravy.
(38:09):
Chicken Nuggets and gravy. Oh, with chicken, chicken
Nuggets and all the dips? Nah, just gravy chicken.
Gravy. Just chicken gravy now.
Because when I'm pissed, I look like too many chips because Joe
and I say over to get 27 Nuggetsover. 27.
I have your 27 Nuggets. Sorry, hang on a minute.
(38:31):
When you stay here, we go for the piss.
On the piss. You go, I'm not going to go
home. I mean, if I stay over in
Liverpool. Yeah, I'm saying.
But when you're out with me, yeah, then you go home.
Like you go home in the hotel, Imean.
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you go to a McDonald's or no?7:00 in.
The. Chicken Bazooka.
Bazooka. Yeah, sorry, 7 Nuggets.
(38:52):
You're being stopped, purple. I'm afraid it's not about that.
It's that's a bad gaffe, that lad.
You know, it's now it's rough. You know.
That's they're the best gaffe. So these.
Are horrible people. Well, shut up, lad.
You want to do like that? Invented Invented bazookas.
(39:12):
You actually want to. Text you that didn't look.
That's not the Apple bin bazook.That's all I'm not getting.
Just 'cause you use a fucking London of the of the North.
You've not got a. You've not got a full.
Control. That's what he's on.
Used to use you from Manchester,London of the north right.
Yeah. But Manchester, Yeah, right.
OK, Manchester. I know, but you see your ass.
(39:33):
But Manchester, you see that? Jamie.
Jamie. You cry.
Anyone says anything about The Who, you cry.
Your eyes on Tony. Tony, you cry.
Obviously. Tony, watch this Manchester's
shit in it. Yeah.
Yeah, you say fucking Liverpool shit to a.
Scout so fucking if you want me just.
(39:54):
Fucking wave a purple bin to a ball, I'm saying.
Liverpool. I'm saying if Liverpool was
shit, I'd say no. But you kind of like this but.
It's not shit though is it? Because you it's got to do.
More time, Yeah. Than you do much is it?
You both love you. You have a drink.
Here in my pubs with my people, I'm the king.
(40:16):
What these two mank twats fucking winding me up?
I know I watch EX monks as well I.
Know monks, I love Jews and so today love Jews.
I just don't. I just want to.
I just want to have a nice time with me and they're setting me
up to being racist. Fuck off.
(40:36):
These have set me up to to hate me own.
They're just bad friends, man sociopath.
Sociopath. You know what footy is?
Well, footy is shit. I like 27 Nuggets one wait why
do? You get what do you get gravy
out there? Yeah.
So by the way. Basically the I sometimes say
(40:59):
that will tell next door, but one to it you just get 27
Nuggets because Nuggets can't gowrong with them, can you?
I get what you mean because you can't die off.
Nuggets, chicken frozen bag and.Chicken chicken gravy is banging
in it. I'll look at hygiene rating if
I'm getting some like Donna meat.
Yeah, yeah. That's what it's.
It's just I've got. AI love hygiene rating.
(41:26):
I love that that's the Facebook.My fingers, well.
I don't meet like that. You just know what I mean.
No, you don't. Want to be I?
Don't got food poisonous? Stop crying about.
Him so I miss record. I love doing this.
Don't get him joking, you didn'tpent Nuggets.
You've been still purple. You know what?
You've you've got your, you've got your plan and I'm on to you.
(41:47):
You've been trying to take me down because you want the hot
seat. Your.
Daughter doing hey, it's yours man.
We will last two episodes the way we have been going each
other. We, we, we build the ball out.
Welcome to Peter Caddo. You're a cunt.
I told you about this. Proper punch bags, yeah.
(42:09):
You need. Yeah, you need to.
It's a very proper old woman. Oh.
It's a very toxic. I just want to be.
Oh it's nice and toxic now. Let's close it bro.
I still know no live pill apparently all over them but.
Has Dean Luca Dean been booked yet?
Red Arrows. Luca Dean.
(42:30):
We need another pint. There's no yellow cards at all.
Yeah. Oh, you're taking the money?
Yeah. Oh well, don't cut it.
We need another pint, say we need another pint.
We need another pint. Don't cut it, leave the head on.
(42:53):
All right, so the public son. Do you think you could last the
zombie apocalypse? Oh, that's awesome.
That little conversation. Oh, it's.
You've come on me, you're not fucking sitting silent me and.
He gives you shit shit in silence.
It's just I'm bringing the truthyou don't want to hear.
(43:14):
It's 5 purple bins. It's 5:30 in the kitchen, Uber
is not connected and the feller is not dropping off.
What do you reckon about the pyramids?
What's your opinion? What's your kitchen, Jews?
What's your kitchen X now kitchen chatting that's.
(43:36):
Ours. Ours is fucking.
That's a good start at the wall.This is kitchen chatting.
This is this is all. When you would like to your
mates and they just just decide to just talk and just say that
you don't even hear. That's no, I don't feel like
that. What are you doing?
I. Just feel left out 1 I feel left
(43:56):
out on my own podcast, man. I don't because I don't.
I don't like fucking Wigan 2002 man.
I like talking about. Because the bins are not purple.
What did you say talk about? Girls I.
Want to talk about? Girls.
Yeah, these are both got girlfriends.
(44:16):
No, see, I'm just left out man. You've not left out, you've got
a. Girlfriend on you?
Shut up lad. She is public.
No, no, no. You'll get a girlfriend soon.
Yeah, Pie is your girlfriend gonna be?
Friends for me. No.
Well, no. In a word.
(44:37):
Oh God. The but there's there's play.
So can I. I know a girl called Sean Paula.
Shit. No, that's not very funny.
Never mind, That's Wigan. You're quiet, Dad.
What have you been up to this week?
What, How much more time do we have to fill?
(44:58):
Oh, about 10-15 minutes. Oh.
Ted, did you say? Yeah, that's what I'm 42 at the
minute. So oh, that's it.
That's it take. To the corner, baby.
Don't say that because they'll work out the edit points.
I've got 42 minutes, it's got 37. 4212.
(45:21):
Girls, 3rd of April. Barclaysman Quiz.
Or do you want to talk about them mate?
Apart from girls, no, I feel guilty now you may feel.
Guilt don't like, you know I don't laugh.
No, but you laugh at me sometimes.
You just you just sometimes. We've been there.
(45:45):
Long time. Long time three years, right?
And you know I love your man. Glad you let me brother me.
Like I think sometimes when we have guests on and it's not a
fiance we meet, you know what I mean?
But I think sometimes when we have guests on, like, I don't
like, I don't like, I don't likesilences, you know, those and a
panic. I love silence.
And obviously, silence. Is the best podcast.
You'll appreciate what I've beendoing for three.
(46:05):
Years Nature's podcast, everyone.
Says we're the best you're because you're the funny 1 and I
keep the conversation flow but Ican't seem to do it.
I can't seem to do it. Some conversations about when
I'm flagging bro. Yeah, I'm thinking what I'm
saying. You've said that you want.
There's been and. What I'm trying to say is,
excuse me. Sorry, guests.
What? I'm guests won't shut up.
(46:27):
So what I'm trying to say is what, you know, three years
meets a long time. And I and Alice and I know my
role in this relationship and I'd champion you.
I'm the biggest fan, you know that.
But sometimes when when, when, when a podcast man.
And I'm flagging bro. And I'm digging.
Yeah, I need you to just put your arm around and go.
You know what? So.
I've got. I've got I do it every live
(46:47):
show. Live shows.
Oh, oh, so have you got something to say now I.
Do I? Do I know?
OK, so do you think you would? So men's men glasses zombie
apocalypse? That was a bit men's men Kleil
for me. That that's men need to do that.
Don't men need to talk more? Go out.
I know we've got to guess that'snot very professional, but come
(47:08):
on, you're not very professional.
Well, excuse me, I've no. Why is your hair still daft?
Fucking paid for a wig. 33 gramsworth of wig.
Yeah, no, I thought. I thought about doing it up and
then I thought, well, I don't know.
So I just watch. Why I was compliment, you know,
I think it's, I think you've done a good job.
(47:30):
It's as good it was. It's good.
It's as good as it's gonna go. And if you look on the last
episode, episode one out of the.15 You can see how they see the.
Oh, I know what we can feel. Time.
Oh, yeah. OK.
The panelists. Yeah. 5 minutes of that fuck,
you know. Do a number generator Danny,
please. This is no, it's just.
Say number. This is absolute color flash on
(47:51):
the. Circle.
Come on lads, this is the last one.
The last the last one. Was I'd be able to pay?
Oh yeah, 'cause that's probably be.
Able to pay wall This one's beengood I.
Mean that was the one before. Was that another one before?
Or was it? Oh no.
Have you noticed we're getting better?
So I'll be, we'll be more honestwith each other.
You know what I mean? And if we've got a problem,
we're just. We're just saying that is mine.
Yeah, it's nice. Too short.
And we make up. I feel guilty now.
(48:11):
Yeah. No.
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I don't have human coils. OK.
That is right what you want one time.
I was on a break because, you know, we work so hard.
What? What number are we on total?
(49:34):
Yeah, because it's 2000, so I'venot have.
You still been? Yeah, I've had it, I've had it,
I've had it when it can be add. Finger all, I said before.
But the last one is work shy fetus.
The body blue heavy. The body blue baby.
There's another good there's another good one.
Nah, wait, that's Firebush. There's another good there's
(49:56):
another good one on the on the dog's.
Not what do you look shy becauseshe's not shy because.
What? What did I say?
No, fuck that. Was just bro genius.
But what is also Gloucester del Sol?
What did I say that thing I. Can't.
Remember you saying summit flat roof, flat roof?
There you go, right Do me number12.
(50:18):
What 2? 1640, Phil. 264. 2644.
The random number is 770 scroll.That's 770, yeah.
Oh, we've got some stuff, Google.
And while you're doing that, Dad?
What do you? Have a little think, yeah.
Tell me how to do me Google. I want you to have a little
think as the producer. I want you to add 1 to the list.
(50:41):
By time we finish, you get thinking what used to be on this
list too. It's got a close I'm sure is.
It's got to come. It's.
Got Soviet sausage 770. Soviet sausage.
It's not great. Soviet Soviet sausage.
I like how I like how that feels.
There's a 777 is Trauma factory.It's a good metal band.
(51:01):
There. I like that.
That's a good factory. All right.
I've got one 1001. I think there's something round
there is autistic Republican Army, but it's not that one
lunatic lunatic central, the jolly Ayatollah not far from
there. Yeah.
(51:24):
Yeah. Winds of witness.
Hey, hey. Hey.
What's your? Bin.
Oh, yeah, he's got a purple bin,by the way.
What? He hasn't got a purple bin.
Oh. I've got a little mini.
Might as well die, I'm a friends.
Oh, there you go. Come on.
That that can't happen. It's just, it's just, it's.
Just like that man. Just funny take that it's.
(51:46):
Funny to pretend you are though,so.
I said you saw this scam the other day, you already seen it.
That was like 3 weeks ago. Oh sorry, because I've got my
vulture authority that are yoursand then my personal one that's
adult. For.
Persian No, there's, there's there's time for business and
there's time for granddad. There's time for granddad's
(52:06):
whatever. There's time for granddad's gym
girls. There's no, there's no gym girls
on there. Granddad's granddad's spam next.
I don't love their maps. Is it a crime for want to see
young ladies with healthy thighs?
(52:27):
No. I like a camel foot.
Anything wrong with like a camelfoot?
We do another number lad. It's.
Got a bit of sand in it. Oh my God. 1273 no 1273 tell me
(52:57):
when we hit 50 so we can fuck off.
Rancid torso, slow motion suicide.
Do you ever remember any of these white like?
Some of it, yeah, you have. A problem.
Inside you go what? Use your time and place where
you don't. Just want it synagogue tactics.
Where was you there? It's definitely.
Not me. So it's definitely, it's
(53:18):
definitely something around how do you call it, call me tight.
That's funny. You're at the pub where your
synagogue tactic. What do you mean you'll get
round in the next pub where there's 20PG?
Synagogue tactic. I wanted Daniel Bevy, not Daniel
(53:41):
Levy. Bruised cervix is in there as
well. Brutal.
Tameside Karate, yeah. Remember that one?
The Jism Prism. That's really I like that one.
(54:01):
Litigious child. Anything else?
Not really, no. 3rd of April, yeah. 3rd of April I'll.
Score C as well. We've got the, we've got the
band. Band gigs on Manchester and
London come to the 6th 25th of April.
(54:22):
Manchester no bad. Friend the 6th, 20, 5th. 25th of
April, Manchester. 4th of May, London.
Nice, nice. Go to them.
Go to them, you never know, we might be there.
Probably not. Yeah, you said you'd show up
afterwards, but because you got your.
(54:43):
Yeah, yeah. Incoherent bubble again.
Yes, Barclays wink quiz hot water fire things come come to
it. You can buy that T-shirt.
You can buy this. Oh yeah, buy these.
Yeah, buy them. Oh wow.
God, this must be 100 lbs. No.
It's so smooth. No, only £2020.00.
(55:06):
You need to make some. Money for yourself, that's.
You. Need to make some money for
yourself? No, I know.
That's so. Good.
Oh, it feels I'm trying to. It's great.
I'm. Trying to flog it without making
much profit of 2 LB to go well. I was thinking we will get the
volume. We haven't got the volume.
So you know what? That's it's very nice.
(55:29):
It reminds you Palestine, Oh. Well, there you.
Go save him. So it's free me.
Free him from the shackles of work.
Yeah. But you guys?
I will join Hamas. Well, that's us.
He's a good guy. He's our friend.
He's Fionn. Well, the Hezbollah, but you
know. Authority.
They're making the movement. Go and support the quiz.
(55:52):
Come and see me and Jamie on tour or wherever.
Do something, Give us money. All Red Arrows.
Let's get to watch the match.
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