#169 - With Jordan Ducharme - Hot Water’s Green Room w/Tony & Jamie - Hot Water’s Green Room Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Let's get into the episode, everybody.
Look at the hello, Hello, everyone.
Welcome back to that show, the Hot Water Screaming podcast,
Tony Carroll G, which you know the dance by now.

(03:18):
But today we have an international superstar who's
moved to Liverpool, baby from Manchester.
Yeah. Jump Duchamp.
Hey now, be sure you nailed it. Yeah, like if your arm was a
douche. That's.
How you say I like it? It's Canadian, is it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Canada has lots of
French, Isn't it French? Well.
Yeah, but it's it's. Fates, all that.

(03:40):
No, it's made tea. It's worse, actually.
It's when. Yeah, because my grandma was
Native American and so. Indian.
Oh, you can see that. You can see that you're
indigenous. Yeah, you can see you got the
Native American. Also, when you drink, you can
see it big time. But no, it's like they when they
renamed it, they were just renaming natives to try to get
rid of them. And they're like, yeah, you're a
Ducharme, you're or whatever you're.

(04:01):
So we don't, we're like originalfamily.
We're just stuck with Duchar. So you do Shamas go that far
back then? No, no we don't.
Even really think it's like a derogatory thing like Clay
changed his name. Yeah, it.
Was a slave name. Yeah, with the Ducharms.
Changed it to Jordan Showbiz. Well, it's funny because my

(04:22):
grand, my grandma wasn't all that hard up about it.
She's like, well, my home life sucked.
And then they put me in a school, but the school fed us so
it was OK. And we were like OK everyone
else, it was miserable but. Drop a generation.
And you just moved to Liverpool?Yeah, yeah, I loving it I've.
Just been talking off camera andI was like hurry up, get the
cameras on because you just moved to an area not not far

(04:42):
from me. It's about, I'd say club more
say from here to walk to like say to that pub we go to.
After that it's like an hour. Shannagans.
Shannagans. That'd be from me as a
Shannagans. So it'll be about say about a
5-10 minute walk from where I grew up.
That's where you live now? Yeah.
So it's not my area, but it's the next area over.
Yeah, and it's nice because it'slike Lime Street's obviously

(05:03):
central, but if you get home late, you can just walk like.
It's still have you walked over town?
I've walked on once, yeah, but like.
Sure. See that events.
Oh yeah. How many times?
Yeah, just a once. It's fucking far.
It's like 3 miles, Yeah, but. You've got a few cans.
Yeah, if you cans, yeah, you get.
Do you have do you have walk? Yeah, yeah.
After a gig. Yeah, sometimes.

(05:25):
Jamie has train. I love a train I.
Love a train? I have a couch.
Couch. Yeah, when I get all my needs, I
have a cat on the couch. I had an amazing part the other
day. Oh my God, I had a fucking pint
the other day, mate. So I had an afternoon gig in
Lancaster. Yeah.
Oh, for Freddie. Amazing bouncing gig.
Yeah. Money.
What? Hey, I do it for the art bro.

(05:48):
They are and £500. So I did that afternoon gig and
then they cancelled one of my trains home.
Yeah, so I had like a 50 minute wait.
I went, oh, that's a good pint. That's a good sit, sit down.
Prefer him 3 pints in 50 minutes.

(06:09):
I know, but the walks of the station, so there's also pubs in
Lancaster, it's like pretty pub area, but walking past some of
them, they all look like pretty fucking do, you know what I
mean? Like I'll have a taste of that
craft ale. I just, I just want to sit down.
And do a carvery. And I don't want, don't want
anyone there. Found this pub around the corner
from the station mate. Nobody in.
I love that. Do you know like the guy that

(06:30):
went oh shit, sorry mate, you just you just say I'm on his
phone. I went hey, don't want to
interrupt you mate, you do you get a little pint sat at the
corner on me own. I went fucking.
Hell, that is the best. It's just it's.
Like 5 minute walk. I'm going to have another one.
Fuck it just a solo pipe man. Just a way before.
The gig or after? After after waiting for the way

(06:51):
home there was a Tesco round thecorner train cans, 2 port pies.
I went. This is fucking living mate.
Oh no, I just had a fast memory like.
Throwing up a pot pie. No, I wish.
Famously. I'm thick, right?

(07:11):
I'm thick with directions and doors and all that stuff.
Yeah. So I go to the toilet on the
carriage. Yeah.
And I don't know what it is about these fucking doors, bro,
but I can't work out if someone's in there or not.
Yeah, I know. So it says toilets this way.
Yeah. So walk over here and it it
looks locked, so I'll try it andit's locked.

(07:33):
So I'll just wait there. I'm waiting there 2 minutes, 3
minutes. Time for a piss.
I'll try it again. I'm not going to excuse me.
Anyone there, no one, right? So fuck.
I'll go and find another toilet.Turn round and the electronic
doors to my carriage. The button isn't working.
So I'm like pressing the button.Someone's going to need me for

(07:55):
pie. Do you know what I mean?
I can't get back to my seat. This guy stared at me like sat,
you know, from the window went, it's not working.
And you went, you went, I went. As I pulled, I noticed another
toilet open. So the two toilets in the
vestibule thing. So here's what this guy's seen.

(08:16):
This guy's seen me go up, walk past the open toilet, stand in
silence outside a closed toilet for three minutes, knock on and
speak to no one that's there, wait again, turn round, look
like a chimpanzee pressing the buttons.
And then what? He went the toilet was open all

(08:38):
the time and all. I came back in and he looked to
me like just get so fucking directionally missed, like
coordinated and stuff. I mean.
You say you're thick, You're notthick.
You just, you're not your socialskills, just you haven't got any

(08:58):
of you. I've got social skills.
Social skill I would say. I've not got what's.
Weird for it, though. Common sense, Really.
Just like common sense. Social common sense.
Yeah, maybe. No, it's not even that, is it?
You have a common sense. It's just he car, just he's
never he's like he's got untrained dog.
You remember the night I think we first met?
Yeah. You went.
I'll get you a shot of whiskey, man.
I went. I don't really drink whiskey.

(09:19):
Straight goes right for you, man.
Oh, you'll be fine. When?
Oh, willa, I do this? So.
I remember that because it was, it was like just after Covad and
you were like very complimentaryabout my set.
And I was like, oh fuck, Jamie Hutchinson saying nice stuff.
And then you had a shot of whiskey and threw up.
And as soon as you threw up you're like.
Seriously though, great set man.That's amazing.

(09:43):
Like thank you. Right.
So you're just moving. So she's moving to Liverpool.
We've seen off cabin before. Yeah.
Yeah. So wait, so where you live now?
That's what I say. It's about 5:00 and 3:00 from
that's got some boss pubs. It's be funny that you'd be
funny. You walk into a pub round there
because like it's very clicky, you know what I mean?
Like everyone knows each other and then you are walking in a
Canadian just like, hey guys. You'll see, you'll see heads

(10:05):
turn as soon as I order because they're like what the fuck is?
This. It was in town that you'd
expecting, you know what I mean?You'd have people, yeah,
probably like, you know, it's that area is very, it's, you
know what I mean? It's very clicky, Everyone like
Luke and yeah, definitely it does, you know what I mean?
And it feels like that. Too, Because how much of a good
pub is, is the farmers arms? It was sick.
It's so affordable and like that.

(10:28):
That's what you're going for when you.
Never be on a Saturday night, yeah.
No, no. Well.
Usually it does karaoke. But it looks like hell on us.
A Fri, like a Friday, Saturday, because, like, I live like
literally a minute's walk from there.
Yeah. Yeah, And so on a weekend, it
just sounds like all you hear iscrashing and banging and.
Oh yeah, screaming like yeah, it's nice chaos.
But it's like my girlfriend would never go in there with me.
This was like a getaway from thegirlfriend.

(10:49):
It's almost like a haven for that, actually, yeah.
Because she's scared to go in there.
You'll drink in there. Yes, exactly.
Well, like we were fighting. Because not going to
hairdressers, whatever women do,yeah, exactly.
Your nails or whatever. I'm not going to go into Le
Chateau or whatever. Yeah, so the new brunge.
But yeah, so that was it was just like an afternoon of
getting pissed. But you're right in that it's

(11:11):
clicky because I was the only one.
She didn't mention by name as they walked into the pub.
Like the door would open. Hey, Tom.
Hey, Sherry. It's like 1:00 in the afternoon.
Yeah, it's great, though I thinkthat is maybe we should do this
one episode, but where would yourank?
Like spontaneous afternoon drinks at a quiet pub that is

(11:31):
fucking. Good one, it's the best.
John, I love Daddy Max. Oh, I've never been there, you
know. Yeah, but it's on a week.
But in midweek, if you go like because sometimes we'll go
before like a record or, or we'll go if we're on the same
line up or something in Liverpool or whatever and we'll
go out. Got 2 hours to kill Danny Max,
right. A midweek there or even

(11:53):
sometimes on a weekend there. Yeah, Yeah, you get there and
it's just me and you, and it's just like.
There's something better about drinking when the sun's out, it
does just feel better or even like when you're like it's the
afternoon now, but when we go outside and the sun's still you
feel better even though you probably shouldn't like.
That's why I think, I think that's why God made Wasps.

(12:14):
I think God made Wasps because of this reason.
I think drinking in Bay Gardens is so good.
They went. We need to Pierce this a little
bit now. Like we need to.
Get there has to be a bit of jeopardy in this because it's
you're you're too, you're too perfect and you're having too
much of a good time. You're going to get complacent.
Balance. You're going to get complacent.

(12:35):
Yeah, you just need a little. God's me balanced because that's
so good. You just need a little.
Yeah, yeah. Anything.
Anything like sex. You've got pregnancy.
You. Know drugs all these like you've
got overdose. You've got to come downs, come
downs. Yeah, money.
That's what I mean. Every every life, little wins.
Prostitution, you've got to pay.Well, no, I think you need

(12:57):
money. I don't think money is a
piercing system which you have to pay for beers in the beer
garden. I just think in terms of a
feeling, the fame of a WASP justmakes that 10 out of 10 and 9
out of 10 stuff. It keeps humble and keeps
striving to want that 10. Yeah, you know, it's the worst.
Yeah, well, I always say like I'll smoke weed during the day
and then we'll get to a gig and realize that you're burnt out.

(13:18):
And I'm just the word I've got. I can't create like any energy
at all when I'm. Are you a big?
Are you a big weed smoker? I'm a big pothead.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that I mean.
No, no, I'm just saying, you know, I just Are you like a big
Potter though? Oh.
It's like first thing in the morning.
Yeah, it's a big Potter. Yeah, we can bake the kids call.

(13:39):
It but then it because I'm trying not to drink before gigs
anymore. That was like my big thing for
this year and it's closet, you know, you know what, you know,
functional Alcoholics are like make rules for themselves.
Yeah. So I'm like, I'm trying not to
drink before a gig. So I'm trying not to smoke
before because I usually just would smoke and then I'd be
burnt out and and then I drink out of the burnout.

(14:01):
You've done enough. You've done that enough gigs now
though. Are you sharper when yours
completely sober? I am, I am better when I'm
sober. But you don't feel the nerves or
the like. It's a.
Trade out the last time I gig sober.
I never get sober. I'll have a couple.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not nerves, nothing.
I don't give a fuck, but I just,I think going on stage, the pint
and having a pint is you resonating to your audience,

(14:25):
yeah. Yeah.
It's more it's more it's. More like that's what I do.
Yeah. You build this together.
That's how I felt about it you. Can't.
We can't keep. Doing that because that's the
problem, yeah. Because if you gig up 3-4 times
a week, Jamie's got a great dealabout this.
You're really. Yeah.
You gig up 3-4 times a week, youfucked.
Yeah. Absolutely.
Well, I'd find myself like, because I'm still, you know, I'm
just getting into opens now, buta lot of the middles would pay

(14:45):
like £50 and I'd spend like 30 on the train and then like 70 at
the bar and I'm like, I've lost £50 to bomb in like in
Chesterfield. Yeah.
So. Yeah, the economics, though,
economic. Economic.
I just got. I just got flashbacks.

(15:05):
Then you know them gigs now you just, you know yourself.
You've done it well, more than me.
But them gigs where you travel them fucking miles.
Yeah. And you spend more money because
you just saw those because you died on your ass.
Yeah. Have.
I even done this. I'm down 76 with.
I'll remember my buddy, this happened.
He made it part of his act in Vancouver, this great comedian,

(15:26):
Sean McDonald. So we organized a gig.
We found a headliner and went upto the city called Kelowna,
maybe like 3-4 hours out of Vancouver.
And it was our first like paydaywhere I think me and him made
like 150 each and the headliner made like 3 or 400.
And I was drunk after the show and I told him I'm like, man, we
keep making money like this, like Sky's the living baby.
And then that night in a strip club I blew like $200.00 and he

(15:50):
just watched me do it. He's like, what are you doing?
This is it bro, we've made. It this will never end.
That's how you feel in the moment, though.
When it goes well, you're like. When you first start getting
paid, I'm getting paid 20 minutes to fucking talk about my
Dick and that. I mean I just worked an 8 hour

(16:12):
shift for fucking half that's. What I mean, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Where we compare some of the
fees we get though, like becauseobviously Alice's and stuff,
they'll be thinking fucking hell, we get that a week or
whatever. But like it's yeah, you're
trying to make excuses. It is.
It is good what we're doing. Yeah, well, sake.
Man, Also, yeah, what about all the fucking the demons, you
know, after these gigs, man, Yeah, you know what I mean?
You're saying that you know yourdad's couch make out your

(16:34):
fucking 180 quid? Yeah.
Fuck, man, I would say, listen, I'm I was doing well and I
fucked up the wall. As everyone knows.
I was chasing train fare expenses that so I could get
here. I was messaging a pot.
I went, hey, do you still pay the train?
Yeah, of course. Send me that £52 then.

(16:55):
Do you reckon that's why most comics as well, Like all my
mates who comics were all bad with money?
Yeah, because we we, we think wedon't deserve it.
Well, I just think, I think. You know what?
I. Mean like that, I know, but I
also think people are good for. Money.
You've never had money though. Yeah.
You got you got a bit of money. But what I think, I don't want
this, but I also think is peoplewho are good with money, it's so

(17:18):
facto will be not funny, Yes. There's going to be something
to. There no one, no one wants to
have a laugh with the guy with agood ISO.
But. I've also been you.
Say we're never going to get. Together.
No. No.
But I'm sure. You've tried.
I broke it out the mould. I got a payday.

(17:40):
I got a fucking payday and a fucking pissed.
Spunk. Till the wall now.
Gambling. Gambling.
Fuck gambling drugs. Because I I always thought like,
like I've been broke for so longthat I'm good at being like
paycheck. I'm.
So good at it so. If I have like a grant, like if
I have a grand in the bank, I'm like, that's a shit load of

(18:02):
money. That's like so much money.
That's an impossible amount of money.
You see an, you see an apostrophe and you're a fucking
bank, mate. I'm living broke, yes.
I'm basically a millionaire and then within a week it'll be
fucking gone. I went into my overdraft the
other week because fucking AppleMusic come out.
You know what I've done before? Yeah, I've been that skin.
Yeah. That's been paid in two days and

(18:23):
I've got like £20 in my bank. Yeah and I've fought him.
Yeah, the night. So I've got so straight away
I've got to choose like smoke ciggies.
Ciggies are 15 LB or chippies like £20.
Yeah, right. So or or a pizza place.
You're all out. So in my head I thought, yeah,
well, straight away, yeah, ciggies couldn't wait.
Yeah. So I would order this pizza.
I wake up at like 2 in the afternoon being hungover, being

(18:47):
like on the fucking the Coke allnight.
I'll come down, think I can't wait for this fucking horrible
big £20 pizza meal. Yeah.
And I for when this pizza place opens and it gets to like 3:00
PM, I get this notification, it'll say Spotify 1499 and I'm
like, I'm down to five so. Sucks, I've been exactly there.

(19:12):
Oh. This.
I had that. Happen.
How did you stare your phone? Like why?
Why could I give you tomorrow? Why do I have to be premium but
don't even listen to music? Hey Jamie, have you got 20 lbs?
20 lbs Embarrassing. That's the most humiliating text
to send. It is my partner that I work
with. Michael Mannion is just so good

(19:34):
with money and responsible and sometimes I'll have to be like,
can you send me £50 and I'll send it back tomorrow.
Fucking humiliating. It's bossed over there.
It is great because then you're like, now that I've got 50, that
might as well again. I love the Jeopardy on me.
I'm like, I have not got the rent and it comes out in a week,
I think. And then you're like, I've got

(19:54):
invoices out, do you know what Imean?
Yeah, I think, well, maybe they might not pay.
What will they do? Who knows?
TuneIn next week. That's not a play to me anyway.
Oh, you're like a cliffhanger ina drama.
The Venture 2 next week. Well, looks.
Like that's girlfriends. Like don't change me.
Like really? No.

(20:15):
I always get out. It's like, you know when a
villain has James Bond. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's like, you should have just killed me when you have the
chance, bro. I just picked up the cash kick.
When I, when I was in Canada, like I was bartending on like
obviously I just started comedy and most bartenders make all
their money off tipsters, you know, So there was like a
Sunday. It was like rents due two days

(20:36):
from then and I'm like, this is Super Bowl Sunday.
I'm like if I make 400 in tips Ican then I've made rent
basically and I worked a 12 hourshift and by the end we made
like 470 or 480 and I was like Ican get pissed.
Like I got the 400 for rent and 70 for booze.
Like, perfect. Like a braided Hail Mary.

(20:58):
Just like, oh shit, dropped it. Hey, yeah.
That should be groceries. It's expensive.
Oh dude, Vancouver. Well I'm from Vancouver so it's
just fucked. It's like London right now so
everyone I know is like scattering from Vancouver to
like other places. But even when I was there, it's
it. But I've worked it in the the

(21:18):
industry for 10 years. Plus you do get looked to buy
the bars. Definitely, Yeah, yeah.
But you gotta look after them, too.
Yeah, Yeah, I was. I forgot to tip the last time I
went back. Or there's one bar and it was a
$12.00 beer, $12.00 Canadian fora pint.
And I didn't tip like a dollar. And she gave me a nasty look and
I was like, all right, I forgot.Yeah, yeah, that's how it is
here. Like you are just an asshole if

(21:40):
you don't tip. Yeah, she don't got like a
they're not like AI will leave, right?
Sometimes I always got it. I, I feel like sometimes servers
lie about it, you know, because they're trying to guilt people
into tipping them. Better.
Because sometimes they're just shit at their job and then
they're like, I didn't get tipped and it's like, well, you
didn't earn a tip. But in England it's the
opposite. It's like you can fucking give
great services. There's already so many places,

(22:01):
though, in the country, in this country, though, that that get
tips, yeah. I love to tip the other week.
I love to tip in a five star review for the white.
Oh, just because he was amazing.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he weren't like fishing for it.
He was just genuinely just, that's what he should be,
really. Yeah.
That's all a tip should be. That's what it should be.
Or when he met. Have you noticed in Liverpool or
you're also like the farmers arms and stuff when you go there

(22:22):
like it's always take your own. Yeah, one for yourself.
Yeah, yeah. But like, take your own like 50P
yeah. Oh it's not like T bro.
Take one for yourself. Yeah, I think is like if it's
£4.70 round to five. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right. So that's just the rule in it.
That's the rule, yeah. So I was out in etiquette.
Yeah. I was out in Manchester, yeah.

(22:43):
In town centre or was 2 streets ever Manchester, 2 streets
Tavern. Yeah, yeah, it.
Was like a mini London. I mean some places are
gentrified like every city that's like.
I got a lot of kids. I got to take one for yourself
when I was working there. Yeah, and so I got 2 double rums
and cokes. Me mate.
Yeah, console fucking 1880s something.

(23:06):
Take one for yourself. Thinking at the maximum £1.20
maximum. She pours out herself a double
rum Coke. But is that not it?
She'd. Take one for yourself.
Technically, yeah, but for me it's not, it's not weird.
It's like this. It's just this like unwritten.
Yeah, never said. Well, as Jamie said, say, round
up to the name of what's closer to the name is, but I couldn't.

(23:30):
Say anything. I thought take one for yourself
was like whatever like 1 whatever drink you want.
That's what you know, it says that.
It's not that. It's like.
It's like. A round up.
Thing. Yeah, yeah.
Round up, round up to the nearest 5 lbs or whatever.
Yeah, basically you can't. Even though shit, you can't,
Blake, you are saying. To you, whenever I would just

(23:52):
order a shot of whiskey wheneverthat happened and then just pour
it for myself. Yeah, because you would have to
sneak it or whatever anyway. I think you're fine in town.
She works in town, didn't you? Yeah.
I think if you did that in like a pub on the street, I mean, not
what the fuck you doing. Yeah.
You're. Getting a fight but it's suit
going to bite. How long you how long you just
start without them? Nine years now, yeah, coming up
10 in June, so but first 3 in Canada and then I moved here

(24:15):
2019 so. How was your Manchester?
Sorry, did you do Manchester? Yeah, yeah.
Just moved there right away. I've been there ever since and
then just moved here like a month ago.
Yeah, it's a good little scene on it.
I loved me. I mean, it's weird.
COVID worked out really well forme because I wasn't really going
anywhere before that. And then right after COVID
ended, me and Dan Tiernan started a room together and it

(24:36):
was a sort of right time, right place.
And a lot of acts that I'd neverworked with were like dying for
stage time and shit. So like, like a Justin Moorhouse
would reach out and be like, yougot stage time and I'd be, yeah,
like Freddie or Rob or whatever.And I'd never met him.
So that worked out great. And then, yeah, I just, I feel
like I got my roots in that, so I can't leave the north of
England. So.
Jokes at the Oaks. Classic.

(24:58):
It's bad that because as you said though, because yeah, it's
all about time and only you meet, isn't it really?
Because yeah, definitely. There's lots of there's lots of
boss comics out there and so youmeet them you're like, fucking
hell, you don't even hear of them.
You're in me until. Well, it's weird.
It's a networking thing as well as well as I.
Tried tell Open Micros. I'm like when you get funny, I'm
like there's a million funny guys.
So it's like, what else can you offer other than just being

(25:18):
really funny? It's like, do you have a room
for people or do you have like, you know, gigs to offer or
whatever? A car.
A car. Yeah, exactly.
Just shit like that because I'm like.
It should be based on medicine it, but you know, that's all.
But then if everyone reaches that level, like let's say
there's a hundred guys with a really solid 10, yeah, it's
like, well, then what's the difference?
Like, well, this guy's. Fun.

(25:39):
Yeah, some people are lazy in terms like they won't kick out
the city and stuff. You just do the same for rooms
like they're comfortable in. Yeah.
And then they go somewhere else and die and wonder why.
That's what I love. Like I love a brutal room.
I haven't done like a really like shit room in a while.
Yeah, proper fucking well. What?
Me and you done one together. Wow.

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(27:08):
Excludes restaurants. Yeah, definitely.
What was there was that? One I mean.
I was scared to Manchester order.
Yeah, it was a rugby club somewhere and it was.
Playing cards right behind us. Yeah, yeah.
Well, that was proper. It was fucking.
Crazy. I love that shit.
We we killed it. Yeah, but I.

(27:28):
Don't know right time but it. Was killed a lot.
But it was. It was.
One of the I. Was not the one by the MC was
struggling and the bully was in.Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was not, but I was one
of those where I came in and I'mlike, I'm not drinking tonight.
I'm just going to like get in, get out.
And then as soon as I saw the audience, I'm like, I'll have a
double whiskey and a beer. Yes, I had like 5.
Drinks. I got fucked as well.

(27:48):
I thought that's the way you gotto do.
You got to get fucked and then you just got to skit the person
who they all love. Prison.
Prison rules, man. Prison rules, Yeah, just.
I remember there was some. I done 12 minutes, I got booked
for 25, done 12 and got off last.
It gives me money. Do you love them all?
Yeah, because you hate your limit and then you're like, I

(28:09):
got it. I got to get off the stage or
I'm going to go so. Many times I go oh you, you
bitch. There was a woman that was like
dating one of the guys or whatever and she was giving me
so much shit and I remember justsaying I've fucked hotter things
out of dumpsters and it was like, what a thing to say.
I didn't even make sense. And the whole ground was like.

(28:31):
We just say anything and they'rejust like, yeah.
This guy kept tripping at me once at the Comedy Store.
Wants to do a trial spot there. I was like, fucking hell, man,
not me. Trial spot.
Do you know what I mean? You don't know the importance of
it, but to me, it's everything. I've waited months for it.
And I came I came up from the bed after he he shouted just
before the punch sign. I did the punch sign anyway, but
he got stepped over and I went. Listen, you, I don't mind you

(28:53):
getting involved, but unlike satisfying your fat wife, this
isn't A2 man job. Shut the fuck up.
Fucking place fucking you. No, he was, he was like, he was
like, yeah, with the boys. I went no you're a cunt.
Respect. Yeah, but it went in me
feedback. But that dealt with a Heckler

(29:13):
superbly, so I thought it was going to kick me off.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, that's great. Just go after fat wives man.
I've got any any aggressive hecklers?
Nothing crazy. I had one where the guy wanted
to beat me up after it was just at the frog, but it was it was
because his girlfriend was laughing at what my insults.
And so he was like fucking and she was like 1 arm holding him

(29:36):
and one arm and we're like. And so I'm sure he was just
completely demasculated. Yeah, yeah, but it was Danny
Mack was the MC and I remember him just pulling me and he's
like get behind the stage. He's like that guy's looking for
you. Like securities just kicked him
out. And I was like, oh, crazy.
Yeah, that's funny. But nothing.
Nothing like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I feel like at this point I should have been punched in the
face like once or twice. You got very punchable art,

(29:58):
Yeah. And I don't look like I can
defend myself at all. And it's never happened.
So I'm, you know, I'll touch wood, marble.
But yeah, you both survivors of my Marple gig.
Oh yeah. Yes, that's what I was referring
to before and now. I've got some pictures of Jordan

(30:19):
from that shit show have. You got them?
Yeah. Yeah.
We'll have to chop them in. Yeah.
I've seen a video. So when I got there, you went to
me. It's only a nice shop for coming
and all that. Jamie's.
I didn't think Jamie booked a book.
I was like, yeah, yeah. He said yeah.
So you think he was just like, panicking because he wasn't
there. So he gets there and he went
there. Do you want a drink?
And I, I was, I was going out after the gig, you see.

(30:40):
So obviously it's, it's only from, from the, yeah, it's about
45 minutes, 45 minutes away Stockport.
Wait, were we on the same night?No.
So this, this is what we got. I did the last one a few.
Minutes. It was a couple of weeks ago.
So I get, so it gets there, it's45 minutes away.
My plan was I get pissed at thisgig, have a good time, come back
to Liverpool, I'm going out withmy mates to Liverpool Towns

(31:00):
that's here. So get there and he goes here,
do you want to drink? And I said yeah.
He said it's normally a free barwhere we have to stop it and he
said why? He said you don't talk John
Dujard. I said funny enough, I booked
him for Tori gallon friends. He was he was only the night
he's sick. He went yeah, he's boss and he
went no, no, but look at on thisshows me a video.

(31:22):
It's John. Yeah, just the lights are on,
just finished and you're just onthe stage sway you're.
Dancing. Still trying to do a gig when no
one's there. If we can get, we'll get the
video off the base. It's so funny.
What's the worst? It's so funny.
Here's how I knew it was so bad because it was one of those I
never do blow and I was just given a bunch of blow on the

(31:45):
night so that you know when you like build up that you don't
know how many beers you've had and then the blow wears off and
then you get hit with like 20 beers all at once.
So that happened. And I just don't remember
getting home. I remember fully clothed in my
bed and I with the worst hangover of my life.
And I was. Like, I don't know how I found
you a dress because you what? You're drinking me like 2 in the
morning. Like, what's his address for?

(32:07):
I've got it somewhere. Oh, yes, you invoice me, didn't
you? Right.
Right. Yeah.
So you must have invoiced me fortoll support.
So like, oh, I've got his address actually, somehow.
Gone to my apartment. That's how we but I think we're
the same though. Yeah, all three are pigeons.
We are fucking pigeons, bro. We always find out my own.

(32:29):
We might be missing a leg, but I'll fucking make it.
And gummy wings. Pigeons.
Pigeons on pigeons. But I knew it was, I knew it was
bad because I got a text from you the next day and you were
like, hey, when you find your feet and you're OK, I got a
picture to send here. And I was like, oh.

(32:50):
No, yeah, because. I'm like from any normal person
there. So Jordan was already stopped
the free bar, by the way. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I lost some going because I've done it for three years.
I've I've had a number of gigs shut down their free bar
because. Of yeah, I've been, I've been,
I've been cut off, yeah. I remember being at a craft beer
bar and one of the craft beers was like 10% and I was like,

(33:11):
that sounds good, I'll have a pint of that.
And he was like, well, we only serve half pints And I was like,
well it's open bar so I'll get to it.
And you can just say he's not laughing at all.
So unimpressed. Yeah, I got cut off twice for
Danny. Mac got caught off Alexander's
ones and then a couple of years ago I thought maybe just after

(33:31):
COVID, so I was still just distancing and stuff and outdoor
gigs. Did an outdoor gig for him on
Valentine's night. It was fucking atrocious mate.
Absolutely. I stunk the fucking gaffe out
mate. Stunk mate.
Pure air glades are getting fucking plugged in after people

(33:53):
going around with air freshers. Like I stunk it out.
I'm just I'm just ruining dates.It's all I'm doing, ruining
dates. Just saying to people you'll
never laugh. I'm screwing sides up.
Obviously, yeah, you won't last.She's cheating on you.
All this stuff just fuck. Just went off on mum.

(34:13):
So I just I thought fucking theyshouldn't have bought me.
So I'm getting left at the bar because they've seen their ass.
But it was it was one free drinkand you fee so obviously you
just find a way around it, don'tyou?
That's what a pigeon does. Dad just went to different staff

(34:33):
members. I want that before you drink.
Come on. So I just put on Daddy's tab and
then just got off. Daddy message went fucking Joe.
He's like fucking top lad. And another time, Alexander's I
was just fucking. That gig, that gig, those are
surprisingly fucking unbelievable, isn't it?
It's so good. It's a great gig.

(34:54):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sad fun.
Like obviously it's one of them.It's where you've, you know.
But a book, a book it for peoplelike people I know can.
Yeah, that could do it because it takes, it takes a special
someone to do what? To mingle it with crowds like
that, like what me and you done together and outskirts and that
one, it's like you've just got to just fucking.
There's a lot of good acts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(35:16):
But would get swallowed. There.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's chaos, isn't it?
Yeah. Well, you walk into chaos like,
well, it's a good feed of loads of the ale.
It's what you want to eat. You know what?
I mean, yeah, well, that's just so great.
Like, grateful for it. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, I remember the first gig I
went to where I realized, like, it's almost like, you know, in
Karate Kid where they don't knowwhy they're washing the car.
Like they're building a skill set up.

(35:36):
Yeah. Whereas like, I went to a gig
where they had some posh headliner who never did gigs
like that just get eaten alive by the table of drunk Irish
dudes. And I was able to murder and I,
it was like way less experience.But I'm like, wait, this is what
I was, you know, this is what I've been training for.
Wax on, wax on. Fat slag, Fat cool.

(36:03):
Yeah, we're great. That's class, you know, I didn't
know. What did you do?
Did you do many talk sports then, Jamie?
Yeah, yeah, I think it was like like if.
Simon could be asked, doing it all free.
Yeah, but there were some great gigs like.
Something Jordan though I look after the youth team bro.

(36:33):
No, because. Jordan was it?
Jordan did my work in progress. Jordan did my first work in
progress. You.
Don't have to make excuses, we're all right now.
Don't do my first work in progress on Oh yeah, I'll see
what happens on the talk becauseat first I don't know what it
would be. I thought it was going to be 12
days. How?
Many was this did you do? This guy 556.

(36:54):
I don't want me. I was, I was.
How did you do 6860? 4111 though, Hey it.
Was a good one though. Hey, one of them was in Bristol
though. I remember I had to, it was like
7 hours down and six hours up ina bus and the next day I was
just so sick. He was fucking being in a bus
for that long. Yeah, to be fair though, if he's

(37:16):
a good tour support to have on me, yeah, he's amazing.
He's a fantastic act and a better piss head.
Hey, that's what that's what's about.
We had a good drink after my Sony.
Hello friends with me as well. Yeah, it's what a great dig.
That's good, wasn't it? You killed it, mate.
You smashed it. Yeah.
Yeah. Thanks, man.
Today it's a good show you've got to jump on.
I think that's golden. That's golden.
Yeah. Yeah.

(37:37):
I mean, I want to get more and more in with hot water.
Hold up a set mate. I think living here, yeah, I
think we've both mentioned it ofme to to the.
I'll put the word in but. High enough to say you need
today. Like we've got a new pull in,
can't even get ourselves. Yeah, I've only had one weekend
this year. I'm starting to get other people
in. Well, that's the issue.
Like so last year it was like a break up year for me.

(38:00):
That's when the Marple thing happened.
So I was just like, again, it's like when you're already an
alcoholic and then something badhappens and then you're just
fucking off the rails for a while.
Yeah. Oh, something amazing happens.
I need to make for that. So I'm I was.
Like Hearts of playing Rangers on a Monday.
Yeah, fucking. Fox, get on.
So I had a few definitely, like,sloppy gigs over the air and

(38:20):
burnt a few bridges. And now I'm trying to be like,
hey, I'm not a mess anymore. Yeah, yeah.
But I'll never forget. And I was at the Comedy Lounge
just trashed and yeah, yeah. And the owner came into the
green room apparently, and was like, how many beers has he had?
And Steve Harris trying to covermy ass was like, I don't think
he drinks, you know? And I had like 7, yeah.

(38:41):
It was like it's nice got lookedafter this mad gig.
I love it there though. That's the SO I'm back there
this April. And they look after stuff, that
stuff nice. Did you?
Did you think obviously when you're fucking went off but
you've been off the house because we've all done it in
comedy all like I've done like sets where I was last and I
always think I've got that stigma then, you know what I
mean? If I've done sort of say I've

(39:02):
done a few hacks before, whenever you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah. You think, is everyone going to
think that's me now? You know what I mean?
But I think you've just got to get back out there and just keep
going. Yeah, it's like you'd understand
if someone held it against you, but it's like, that is what it
is, man. But I'm sure you guys know.
It's like if you bombed sober, people would be like, everyone
has a bomb bad night. But if you bomb drunk everyone's
like he was, he's got a fucking drink problem or whatever.

(39:24):
Where am I? It could have just been a
regular bomb. I've also killed drunk, but
booze never gets the credit for a kill.
You know, it's, I've had, I've had some, you know, nights where
I've been, you know when you, when you, you know nice booze,
where you booze, you're like you're on fire.
You've been having a laugh in the green room.
And then you go on stage, you kill that, you just come off.

(39:45):
Yeah. And I feel you come off.
You feel drunk already. And then you're like, that was
I'm the boy me that was yeah, Yeah, I think so.
After you chase it the high again all night, you do blow.
Yeah, do blow. And then you just fucked.
Then you're in the casino. You've lost all your wages you
just made. And then you wake up on your
dad's couch and you're just like, have to get home.

(40:10):
He's calling you trampoline. He's going to be chubbly.
Yeah, you're. Not rattling around, but it's
the free applause breaks worth this.
I was before, before this, before I that's what I thought I
have to say on the podcast because I was actually laughing,
crying when I was especially before, right?
Honestly, I was in tears like. This was, this was.

(40:30):
I can't believe you fought this.I was fucking in tears laughing
right? So no.
So today I've said it's obviously Liverpool.
Liverpool are playing PSG tonight.
They were recording and I I've asked them like twice over the
past two days, like do you want to watch the game after the
thingy? And he's just obviously been in

(40:52):
between matches and just missed it.
So then I've just said. We've got the screenshots.
Here, I said that. Are we watching the Red Arrows
later? Yeah, that's what I called it
Phil. I thought it's just a joke.
I I said I will not ask you again.
Like because he's blacked me thepast few times and he's put yeah
lad, I need a drink and cuddle right.

(41:14):
So I've been a. That joke again.
That's a joke here. And I said, can we go to like
Pogue or something to watch you?And he put, yeah, we're wherever
lad. And then he's put yours, yours
at home. Question mark now because he
said before about cuddles and you know, I thought yours at
home like oh, can I come to yours?

(41:35):
So I've said I don't have a home.
So he's just put like sad faces and I've put my dad's got 3 of
you and I sleep at his couch. Yeah.
And he put not a men's as Liverpool out of field.
A user at home. A user at home like.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
I thought he was asking to see what can he go up to my hand, so

(41:57):
I put oh ha ha, lad, I I thoughtyou want to say watching it as
no, we're away first leg. He's put like I'm going to watch
it on your bed while your dad plays dog.
The bouncing through on his phone.
He said I'm fucking face in free1.
He just sorted me life out just sitting you just sitting on my

(42:17):
couch. I'm smoking bifters and then he
put Ash in your dank and Jamie stay over please.
Honestly, we never just said thevoice goes laughing out and
talk. Oh before I'm asking to go watch
it at yours 1000 pubs. No, no, can we go to yours and
watch them not to yours. Oh, that killed me before that.

(42:40):
I asked if you were home just because I timed the train
because the trains armored in it.
Yeah. Why does your dad love Dog the
Bounty on her so much though? I thought I was just when I was
since I was younger. He's just like her.
That's such a very big question.It is no.
Since I was, since I was, I remember, I remember just always
on this clutch. As well.
I don't know really. I just guess.

(43:02):
I always wanted to be. I always wanted to be the bounty
and he'd hunt me. I remember when Doctor bounced,
his wife died, Beth, and he was he was collecting the clay.
He didn't. Cry.
He nearly cried. He didn't fully cry.
That fully cried. He's like God.
Sad that you didn't know it. You did not.
Know it. She must be like 50 somethings

(43:25):
youngly it's. Only 17 dog is.
God, come on. Come on, Jamie, pretty better
than that. I don't.
I don't think I don't. Think I'm a fucking sub bitch
and. I I hadn't thought of him for
fucking years. And then I was just watching
that Gabby Petito murder documentary on Netflix.

(43:46):
He's a girl who went missing with her boyfriend.
And it's like, it was just doingall the news articles about it
and it's like, and Dog the Bounty Hunter has said he's
going to find her at all costs. Yeah, well, when I was younger,
I should be dad. Like it just be dad to stay with
us as well for a while, then just go off and do whatever.
And then he'd be back again. So it's a big gym as well.
And then like, I remember being like I was working in, in the in

(44:11):
nightclubs at the time, you knowwhat I mean?
You get in a four or five AM andyou'd have a heavy night and
wake up the next day and just like fucking sad.
And you're like, we'll do this all over again tonight and come,
come downstairs. And he'd just be sitting.
I swear to all this true story. We gotta have like being in the
backyard and stuff like doing work because he's just always
dead active when he you know what I mean?

(44:31):
And like in the summer, like summer night and, you know, you
wake up in the summer, you don'tgo over, you like walk
downstairs and he'd just be sitting there in his underpants.
Yeah, no Topper like down like cup of coffee, but like just
proper. And I just walked down the
stairs and I just walked down. I go.
You watching that again? And it just be he'd watch it, I

(44:53):
reckon 5, five or six episodes, like just back-to-back.
And I was thinking it's they've got to run out soon.
They didn't make that many, but then I figured out they did.
They made a shit load. And then after that he'd watch
him porn stars, which is obviously not the I'm not like
fucking sex stuff. I mean, like, yeah, pawn shop,
you know what I mean? And he just watched stuff like

(45:16):
that. But he just my dad.
Was. Really invested in the
characters though. Yeah.
And when when talked about you this Beth Ish start like, like
breast cancer or something. Remember him?
No way, really. I remember it was like breaking
news. Have you seen her breasts?
It's. Got to be the biggest cancer,
yeah. Fuck it.

(45:38):
He was so pointy as well, weren't he?
You missed it. But I I remember him honestly
being like I'm sure. It wasn't a real.
I remember him like, I remember him coming down.
Yeah. And he had, he was on his phone.
He was like, he must have been like, he must have like fucking
signed up for. He talked about in the news or
something because he'd come up. Yeah.
And he wasn't watching that. And this is a different style,
watching the matches. And he went no way.

(46:00):
Law. What?
And he was like, fucking she's dead.
And I was like, you like my auntie's son, like no, Beth.
It's like who's Beth? And he went dog about his wife.
I said you didn't know it. You went Sada.
I was like, you're fucking. But he's lost the plot. 246

(46:20):
episodes he made. See.
Yeah, yes, it's. A lot.
He's. Man.
He just loves like a medical programs like that.
My dad was on a very similar trajectory.
Yeah, pawn start. What's the storage wars?
Storage Wars. Yeah.
Love that. Yeah.
And then there's American Pickers.
And you know, fellow storage wars, you know, obviously went
to do the, the the what's it called?

(46:41):
The bidding fellas, fellas should just go Yep.
I mean, dad used to do it all the time.
Like you'd just be like you'd behalf going to sleep and you'd
just say, Yep, to be glad to be like, do you want a coffee?
So to be dad? Yep, I think you should do it

(47:02):
all the time. Football, though.
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That's what cost me the Oaks. You know, just chatting too much
shit. Really.
Yeah, because you brought up that the the show I used to run

(48:31):
and they would, they were fucking with us with money for
so long and. Yeah, it's a Tuesday night.
Yeah, there's probably in town, that is.
Dead. Yeah.
No. Reason to go.
There how many people come? 50 people, maybe?
Whatever. 40-50 yeah, it was slowing down a bit, but it was
one of those where they just said we had a meeting in

(48:51):
January. They're like this will change,
this will change, blah blah. And and it's funny because I I
did a podcast while this shit was going on and I, I, I'm the
worst for just airing my shit out.
And I was like just slag the guyand took it out and I was like,
whatever. And I just got trashed at the
show and the owner wasn't there that night and I on stage
drunkenly, I was just went off on the bar like just said all

(49:12):
this regrettable shit. And then the next day, I got
this strongly worded e-mail thatwas just like, you claim that
the fire escapes don't work and if, if something goes wrong,
everyone will die in a fire. This is what you said.
They just said all this stuff that I said.
And I was like, did I say all that?
Seriously, Bill? Apparently it just got back to

(49:34):
the owner and they were like, wegot to end the show.
And I'm like, that's understandable.
It's class just went up in flames do.
You get aggressive when you drunk because I always.
You're not aggressive, but I get.
Self-righteous. Yes, yes, that's the word for
it. Yeah, again, it's a pussy way to
be. But you're like when you feel
you need justice, that's sort ofhow I am.
I'll seek justice when I'm. From Jokes of the Oaks, yeah.

(49:59):
From our show whereas like why would we should get mixed with
£20 a week or whatever? You've got some nights now,
haven't you, in Manchester? Yeah, man.
Yeah, yeah, Well, clubhouse, Clubhouse.
How about the replacement for? The Oaks and it's better, you
know, the the bar works with theit's really cool.
Yeah, you did the first one, obviously, and it's really taken
off. Like Adam Rowe reached out and

(50:19):
did it last week and that's, that really helped with numbers
and stuff. And yeah, and I'm doing my open
mic tonight, which I was tellingyou before the show, we're doing
a weight loss competition where me, me and five of their acts
are weighing in on stage. And then that's why I'm going to
put a few of these away and justpack it on and then.
You train it. Yes, exactly.
And then I'm going to try late so you can lose most by the end

(50:41):
of the month and that should be fun.
We'll see. You're going to have to stop the
ale, aren't you? What do you mean?
I think so. I've yeah, I'm going to try to
do a sober month. Do you know I haven't been seven
days sober and. Four years.
We've never done it. Really.
I've never. Done it.
I've never gone back seven days.Do you mean just booze?
We'll both because booze. Because I'll do no booze, but

(51:02):
then I'll be smoking way more weed.
Oh, yeah, so bad. Booze.
Yeah. I I can't smoke weed.
I've had bad experiences. No bad.
You know what I mean? You're like Whitey.
Yeah, yeah. I've had bad Whitey's mates
that's the worst. So my own I've got like an uncle
who's he's like 45, but he stilllike thinks he's 21.
Yeah, call him like king of the kids because he just with kids,

(51:23):
he's not like a pedo. What sounds.
Like dynamite, like pedo, Ringo or?
He's got pedo tendencies, but hehasn't been caught.
Yeah, but like, he knows a lot. If it came out, everyone's like,
yeah, well, I'm surprised. Yeah, yeah.
Then then not sure. Join.
I call him your uncle as well. He's not your uncle.

(51:44):
He's like your second cousin. Yeah, he's looking to distance
himself. Now, anyway, he knows who he is.
Good thing you're not. Good thing you're not his
nephew. Yeah, that's true.
He lives in Sefton Park, right by Lark Lane.
So he's quite like, you know, hipster kind of that motive.
And I went to Lark Lane once andI was about 1819.

(52:04):
We'll have a few pints. And he's like John, John have a
spliff. And I come back to mine and I
was like, yeah, yeah, sounds. So I went back to his and I, I
was smoking a spliff and then I smoke cigarettes, right.
So every time I have a spliff, Ijust smoke it like a Ziggy,
which you shouldn't really, because I didn't know this.
You have to like you have when you first started off, you have
a couple of poles and you chill.Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(52:25):
And then you have a few. I'm smoking like a fucking
fifty. Yeah, like, yeah, yeah.
And then but he's encouraging me.
He was like, yeah, you'd be sad.And then and he goes, can I show
you something? Right.
And it wasn't as different. And he was like, can I show you
something? And I was like, yeah, yeah.
He said, right. He said, yeah, you know what?
I can, you know, like an iMac screen.
And he's. But it's what, you know, like we

(52:46):
can flip around. She flipped it to him.
And I was sitting here and I sawthe back of the screen was to me
and he was on the screen. So he went, I want you to listen
to this song, right? He's listened to this song.
It's the Best Song Ever made, but you just need to just
listen. I'm just like in my head now.
I'm like, I don't feel good. Like I'm just really paranoid
and all that. Yeah, I'm fucked, right?

(53:08):
I'm figuring what? You're with a pedophile, Yeah.
Just by soft music, he starts, he starts playing a song, John.
Wright. He's really trying to seduce you
though. He starts playing a song and I
promise you, right. I got really upset.
Like, I was like, tearful and that.
Yeah. And I was like, this is this
song just relates to me in so many ways and like.

(53:29):
Fast food rockers. Not not like, like a swear.
This swear. That is a true story.
Yeah. It was like played for free,
free minutes, 40 fives. And it's into every fucking
word. Yeah, every word meant to every
inmates. And I was like, I was welled up
here I go. Fuck.
Now. It's the Best Song I've ever
heard. Right.
And he just burst out laughing. Yeah.
So then sings to him. I'm like, what the fuck part?
Like panel What? And he flipped Steve rant and he

(53:52):
was little Mick shout out to my ex.
Yeah, and I was so and so sayingthis the Katy song ever written
fucking mate. And he knew he like he'd done it
before to someone else. You know what?
I mean, I was like, what? It's a tune.
No, and I'll put it mean like I was, I was talking about like it
was like the Best Song Ever written and like like then how?
Old was you? 19 Sorry.

(54:13):
Can you Google when shout out tomy ex come out please?
Oh. Shit, yeah.
Will it be later on 2223 though?Not that far, it was 2.
But ten years older and 20 October 2016.
It came on 2428248 years ago. Eight years ago, yeah.

(54:39):
So it's eight years because? It's just that that's only when
it was released. It's obviously been a known
song, so it's probably two yearsafter.
It no, it was, it was fresh. Out No, it's two years after
it's now remembering Solomon Showers.
Why is a tune 1? But weed, like weed, is great
for seeing the brilliance in something now.
There you go. Like I've seen something really

(55:01):
funny and being like, this is the funniest fucking.
Yeah, and like. You know why it's funny?
I believe this song was like, I mean, like the best thing I've
ever in my life, you know what Imean?
I was well. How's this a bad experience in a
sense like? Because it wasn't, not what it
means. That was just one.
Then I also, it's a Whitey on a pedal in Amsterdam.
You know that was bad. Yeah, yeah.
Sorry, that that's what we said.She'd be live.

(55:22):
See that bit? Hey.
There you go. You should put you should push
out to my accident. I shouldn't now because now
you're saying I'm 20. I just realized I was 25 and 19.
19 trying to espresso. Yeah.

(55:44):
We do comedy X Oh yes, what's sojust like those stand up picks
that I I don't like people who want the mic like that, for
example. Oh yeah.
Have you got any like with the mom?
Have you got a comedy? Have you got a comedy X where
you've been on a second that much you've seen people and
you're like, you're not nasty, but you don't say it, but you're
just like. Dude, I mean I run open my.
So loads of comedy extent. So autistic people.

(56:08):
No, I'm kidding. I'm just kidding.
I hope they can tell the difference.
We're just kidding around. No, but no, I, I think the
biggest, it's weird, like the biggest difference I've noticed
in UK and Canadian stand up is like in Canada it's like really

(56:31):
well driven into you that you suck at the beginning and that
you're going to be shit for however long.
So there is like a lot more humility or a lot more like you
would see acts being like, oh, Iwouldn't apply for that.
That's like, I'm not ready for that.
Where it's like, I've never heard of British stand up say
that ever. It'll be like a guy 5 gigs in.
He's like, why am I not getting paid that much?
And you're like, all right, man.Like, you know you suck shit,

(56:52):
like, you know you're trash, butyou can't just say that they
don't believe you and then you look like an asshole.
So I guess, yeah. That is good comedy actor know
where people straight away thinkso forth to the bee's knees, and
then as soon as they have that death, it's like welcome back to
the. So forth.
No, it's when they don't. They don't.
Yeah, but the some people I've seen who've died and they go

(57:14):
well for themselves and they've done well, yeah.
That's crazy. That's called delusional.
That's insane to me. No, yeah, they are insane
people. But.
There's people that I've met that are so delusional where
like, if you saw him in a movie or whatever, you'd be like,
that's a bit much. Like no one's like that.
And then you meet them in real life and you're like, holy fuck.
Like he actually thinks that. So yeah, like I, I think like
in, in Vancouver it was nice because you'd be on shows early

(57:36):
and you'd be on with pros and shit and they'd only give you
like a 5 minute spot before or after one or whatever.
But you were mingling with them and you got to know them.
And then in the UK it feels likethere's this Iron Curtain
between the pro scene and the open scene.
And I understand it because every open mic comic is just so
full of shit and they'll just fuck your show up.
Like if you, if you got one of them to do a middle, it would

(57:57):
just stink the room up. So it's almost like you need to
have like 3 references to even be considered for a decent spot.
But I think that's better here now.
Like, I don't know, I like the UK scene so much more than
Canada, so. I like people.
I like people who take a chance.Like if they actually are
decent, the chance around a little bit, fuck it, why not?
Some of these are tapped, tapped.

(58:20):
If they think they've got, they've got it.
Sometimes when I used to MC openmy stuff, when I first come
back, I'll be in a room with like 15 people, Yeah, And I'd be
in my head. I'd be like one of these just
going to come back here one day and kill us like that.
But like, yeah, like some of them are fucked.
That like tapped. No, that's it.
Well, and you make jokes like that, like so on my at my open

(58:43):
mic, I instead of coming on and off stage to bring acts up every
time, I just sit behind the the stage sort of.
And I just bring them up with a microphone.
And then they, some of them are like, they'll never come back
because I'll insult them or whatever.
And I'll be like, that guy fucking hates me.
And one day he could just show up and stab me or something.
Because you never know. It's like you never know these.
Yeah, it's. But then the good ones.

(59:04):
I think as you need to have more.
Yeah, the good ones taking straight not.
Just be nice sport. You need to say, lads, you
fucking switch packing it. Yeah, yeah, but maybe a little
around before the gate. Just say, listen, the theme of
the night is we take the piss a little bit, but don't take it
personally. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, exactly. Because I I don't like, that's a
comedy act when they try take that harshness out of comedy.

(59:26):
Yeah, when I'm like, no, that harshness needs to be there.
Like you need to feel it and andthere shouldn't be some other
comic who makes you feel bad fortelling an offensive joke.
Like the crowd should make you feel bad when it doesn't work
and they just stare at you. It's like, that's the
punishment, that's the shit part.
Yeah, you. Come on, say, can I just say no,
you can't fuck off. The audience laugh.
Can. Shut up.

(59:48):
That's my job. Shut up, bud.
Yeah, Pigeon. Yeah.
Or when, yeah, industry decides,like, yeah, it might get laughs
on stage, but it's not what we're looking for.
It's like fuck off. We want people who think some
nodding breaks bro. Yeah, well, like there's a club
I'm trying to get in with right now and I supported you there

(01:00:10):
because you were like, what clubs are you trying to get in
with? And I thought I smashed your
open. Never heard back.
And I can't get booked on their open mic.
They're just like free trial 5 minute spot really.
And I'll see the acts go throughthere and I'm like, they're
fucking terrible. Like I've seen them.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
And I can't get on that. And I'm like, I don't know how
that. Works.
Yes, yeah. I can't get the week I sold the

(01:00:31):
I sold seven out. I can't get a weekend.
I've just sold all of them out yourself.
Yeah. Never.
I've never tried to get on there.
But I don't. Jamie can't.
I'm definitely can't. So I'll take that.
I'll just. Jamie can't.
I might be able to. You know what I mean?
That's why. That's why I work my career.
Yeah. Yeah, just in the path.
My eggs are all in his baskets. Yeah, that's not a euphemism.
My willy's not in his bum. They're they're all tourists.

(01:00:54):
They are. Watching the Red Arrows later.
But also just yeah, people who don't, people who don't grind
like you should be doing it like5-6 nights a.
Week. Oh you should be that first
start when I start when your wife had it first year. 260 gigs
in my first calendar year. I haven't done that.
All together I've been on so long 261st.

(01:01:14):
But that's the thing you'd see. You'd see acts in the UK will
count their gigs and it'll be like, this is my 80th gig, thank
you. I was like, that's fucking
nothing. That's.
Comedy. You're shit.
That's comedy. Counting your.
Gigs. I don't mind, I don't mind
counting gigs yet, but I mean goon stage and go and thank you.
This is my we should have eggs for that fuck up.

(01:01:35):
So So what I see do John. Oh.
Man did. You still do the one in the in
the Joshua Brooks. Yeah, yeah, that's the club.
I've been some fucking raves there me mate.
You know, I've seen basements. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've been off my bat at a few times.
The first set I ever did was in that basement in Manchester.
You know what's mad about JoshuaBrooks?

(01:01:55):
I remember getting the search right.
It's going in. I had a few bags of Coke but I
chewies and he took me chewies off me and left me coke.
That's. What they want the plodding in
Joshua Brooks, the the basement flaws listed.
They don't allow chewies like it's red.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, it was. Like, yeah, you'll have me coke.
Give me your rig, please. No bro, no bro.
Well, for gigs, for gigs I want to push, I'm doing the Roast

(01:02:18):
Battle Manchester at the Frog, March 12th.
Big boy Tony Carol is fucking judging it.
I'm excited for it to. Be good to be good.
It's what day it's up. The 12th of March.
Frog Wednesday at the Frog. Yeah, I'm I'll judge it mate.
Just. Going to show you.
Funnier. I'm just going to get skids in
love. That's the move, just.

(01:02:38):
I'm going to give all the acts fucking ammo on you.
Don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You just do that. You just got no.
My face, yeah, that should be. Fun.
That's the only one I want to push.
And then you know everything. Else if you, if you're in
Manchester area, don't go and support Jordan's nights because

(01:03:00):
that's where, that's where the night, that's where comedy
starts baby. Yeah.
That's this is your plug, Jamie.This is your city, man.
Josh Joshua Brooks amazing comedy night.
Is that a monthly now? So you're saying?
Everything, oh every every week you get amazing headliners are
some of the best up and coming acts.
And I know that sounds like a fucking generic little cell, but
it is actually good acts on. You're getting killers stopping

(01:03:22):
and doing new stuff. Yeah, the one I did was me.
Hi, Preston. Rose just been.
On Charlie Lewis, I've done Freddie Quinn.
Just been on Ave. Brennan's done it, I feel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just amazing headline that
you'll see. I'm not on because I don't.
I have no material for ages, so when I do I'll be there.
So get on down to that. Let's go follow George there's.

(01:03:44):
Funny new bit coming soon. Yeah, it's about this day.
This guy used to count as gigs. Oh my God, it's hilarious.
Yeah, I've got one. It's called about fat guy who
lives with his dad on the couch because he didn't count his
gigs. Alright.
Thanks for coming, George. Hey thanks for having me.
Guys, everyone love you. Guys, thank you very much.

(01:04:06):
I. Hope I don't regret this later.
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Wait, is that an Enterprise sailsolution?
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#169 - With Jordan Ducharme - Hot Water’s Green Room w/Tony & Jamie

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#169 - With Jordan Ducharme - Hot Water’s Green Room w/Tony & Jamie