Episode Transcript
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(03:00):
Let's get into the episode. Welcome back to another episode
of Hot Water Screening Podcast with me, Tony Carroll.
And me, Jamie H. We have Daniel on producing and
(03:22):
we have a returning guest, one of our favourites.
One of your favourites? One of the world's favourites?
Yeah. Teenage boys.
Teenage boys favourites. 18 years and older.
Please. Yeah, please, teenage.
Do you have to be 18 if you knowabout my work?
Yeah, I don't watch iPlayer unless you've got a license and
(03:42):
all. I don't think I'm on iPlayer.
I was on television X. Oh yeah, that was just a big
one. Yeah, yeah.
Did you do like the phone call ones?
Oh, I did that, babe. Station.
That was good. I was Babe Station.
I was that boring. Yeah, my mate fucking ran up a
bill on my landline on. Your landline.
What's what's the biggest bill that he that he, I?
Was like hundreds of pounds because he's staying at my house
(04:04):
like, you know, did. He use your phone.
He used my mum's phone. Yeah, yeah.
That's. Funny, that was like that.
You know that old guy mean whereI was like.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, I get a lot of guys.
I'll have guys, some guys talk to me for hours at a time.
Do they? I'm on something called Minx
NMYNX and like they could just talk to me.
(04:27):
It's like $6 a minute and. It's just just like just normal
conversation, just if. You you can talk to me about
washing your socks. You can talk about for free.
Whatever, like you talk about itor you can talk about having a
wank, whatever you. Want.
What do you prefer? Depends on what mood I'm in.
Like the horny stuff are like. No, I think, I think, I think.
(04:48):
I think, I think I'll tell red wine out the white guy.
Like, OK, if it's the horny stuff, they try, they put 5
minutes on and then they try as fast as they can.
But when you, when someone puts like loads of credits on you
think the after the horny stuff,sometimes they just want a
little chat with you. Yeah, I'm like a little agony
aunt. You know, if, well, if they're
from India or Pakistan, they call you Auntie, Auntie, Auntie.
(05:11):
Yeah, they're all about Auntie, Auntie to Tanya.
Yeah. And if they're from anywhere
else and they're like that, theyjust call me Mummy.
Mummy Mama. Yeah, yeah.
I don't think I'd be Mama me. People will call you Mama or.
Probably probably go down teaching me teacher.
Yeah, I've not done my homework.I'm very straight.
(05:33):
Do you know what? When you don't do your homework,
you know what you have to do What?
Bend over and you get those slaps on.
Your I just can't read miss I just.
Can't. Read I'm having trouble at home
miss. Do you know what you would take
it to the next level of time you're in there?
Do you know what I I could really help you?
You know, we could stay behind and I could give you a little
(05:53):
extra session. OK, let me mum know.
I can't tell your mum no. That's the only thing I don't
think she'd approve unless she'sone of my mates like.
Yeah, will she? Yeah, Well, you give me a bruise
so I can say I got mugged on theway.
Home. Do you know I cannot just tell
you something like, do you know what the the, the worst, not the
(06:14):
worst, like the strongest thing someone's ever done with me.
It was kind of the punishment we're talking about the
punishment. He wanted to be burnt with a
cigarette. It was a phone call, obviously.
So, you know, you want to be punished, you want to be
bruised. This guy who he wanted to be
burnt by a cigarette. So I'd go through with this role
play and then I'd be like, OK, I'm gonna stick the cigarettes
in here. And you'd be like.
(06:36):
Yeah, my mum, do you think? He was doing it to himself.
I'm going backwards and forwardsin me mind.
I don't know, I was having a conversation about this.
The other that must be like thatmust be like a traumatic thing
though, yeah. It's like if you're gonna.
I can't see that being very kinky.
Yeah, but I was 16. What?
A biff that. I was invited to a Halloween
party, like sort of last minute like it was.
I was let him come so I didn't have a Halloween costume.
(06:57):
So my mum puts cig dimps in a ina shirt and they went through to
me but I didn't get turned on soI don't get the.
So your mum puts cigarette beards in your T-shirts while
you had. So I was like, mum, we're going
to go back, she went. She said take her off.
(07:18):
Soon on that, she just wrote Let's go as a pirate.
Does your mum ever watch these this podcast?
Yeah, some of them, yeah, yeah. We called.
We called the last week on the phone.
Yeah, did. You.
Yeah. She was calling me a joke thief
and that. Is she gonna watch this one?
She's gonna sit there and think,did I really put cigarette beans
on your nipples? Not my nips.
Well, it went on through on me though.
(07:40):
Yeah, yeah. Was it on your belly or was it
on your chest? Just thought about me sort of.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably only 6 pack on that.
Where's your 6 pack? Where's your 6 pack, Jamie?
Yeah. What are you drinking, son?
Better Prosecco. Prosecco, OH.
Yeah, I'm feeling a bit posh tonight.
(08:00):
I had wine last time. Didn't I?
We've got a new sponsor as well,since you've come back.
We're sponsored by a vodka company, Any 10, it's called
like a flavoured vodka. Oh, let's have a look at that.
Would you have a little taste ofthat?
Go on, let's have a. Little taste give us a reaction
to see what it is. Flavour.
Is it blue Raspberry? Blue Raspberry, yeah.
Blue Raspberry flavour vodka. Look.
At that. Oh gets the, gets the girls hot.
(08:23):
Does it? We are.
Let's have a little taste. Go on all opening your sponsors
will love this month. Yeah, that's why I thought,
yeah, through it now. Oh.
OK. We've also got Erin Foods.
(08:48):
Actually, that's really nice. Isn't.
It fancy, yeah, kind of go back to me.
Am I going to go? Back to the two of you.
Don't make me mix. It probably just have a little
taste because I thought, yeah, with it being a new sponsor,
yeah, it's alright. And I think you're, you're
better faced for the sponsor than us too, so.
Oh, yeah, I I like that blue vodka.
It's do you know what? I love vodka.
And I love blueberries. I have them.
(09:09):
Every day, yeah. So we've been sponsored by that
now. Oh nice.
Yeah, you're saying before the pod you just had your starfish
stretch for the first time? I like the way you put it.
I've got to tell you. OK, so starfish, like are they
gonna know what starfish means? Yeah, they're all degenerates,
(09:30):
aren't they? Yeah, it's with the art.
Listeners are weird. Got bummed.
Got bummed got bummed the fella it's called Dan damage and is it
was like 10 inches 10. Jesus, is that 10?
I don't. Have tennis?
Hold on. A.
Minute. I don't know.
(09:52):
It looked about 10. It was big.
You need to look them up. Where does that go?
I don't know actually. So what I had to do?
I have to. Stand in the shower and shove
something up my ass. Like, like you're doing your own
colonic irrigation and you have to just keep going until it kind
of come clean. You have to starve yourself.
(10:14):
Piss me off. I'll have to.
Starve yourself as well. Yeah, I didn't like it.
I don't like starving. Oh, and Katie fished some sweet
corn out. Yeah, bit of salad I.
Could be an asshole too much I've been involved in.
That so you have to keep doing it with this like I had the
attachment to the shower and it was like swishing it off and it
took me about 3 hours like 3 hours, just three hours to like
(10:35):
stop it, you know like I like. Me too.
Imagine. Imagine what we've got up in
ours, mate. Don't I don't want Imagine it.
Oh my. God, that's someone that's
really clear. Imagine those two.
We've been there in three days. Oh no.
But what's? What's?
That Lego. Lego come out of man from like
fucking when I was 8 or something.
Don't then you have to get like these like triangle, kind of
like Dick things like go up yourass and you kind of stick one in
(11:00):
and then you get it all nice andthen you go OK, and then you go
to the next one. Get that in.
Do you not forget? It's over cleaning though
because like no one goes Nando'sand gets lemon and herbs do
they? Do you know what in my do you
know what? In my real life I do not do
that. In my real life I go throw the
baby wipes and go sort it yourself mate.
And also as well, let's be honest, there's not many people
(11:20):
out there with 10, you know, big10s out there, you know what I
mean? Not really.
Not really in real. Life, that much is it like mine,
is just getting past the punch. You know what?
I mean. How much is yours going in,
Tony? Yeah, you know, we're being
generous there. Like, no, listen, you know, it's
probably double or something. I want a good day.
Like, I mean expensive. What about you, Jamie?
(11:42):
Jamie what? We're moving for you.
Yeah. I'll probably go down halfway
down your path. There.
From that finger. There to there.
Maybe a bit less. Yeah, I've got that though, that
perception. Mine's yeah.
I don't think you 2 would make porn stars.
(12:03):
Two fingers thick and all, but this be a sick party.
We could be more, we could be like lovers.
What we could be like a nice one, like a, you know what I
mean? It's not really hardcore like a
a lovable one we could do. Lovable.
Yeah, you could be. I want to.
I want to be in a part. You just hook.
Yeah. I just.
Hooked. I want to be.
I'll just. Hug and hug.
Hug. Hug.
Hug, hug. Hug.
(12:25):
Hug just one video. It's just me and you on our.
Backs. Excuse me.
Hug and hug. Hug.
I'm hug and he's talking. To give away hug.
Here's the boy shot there. Your girlfriend's going to kick
(12:45):
you out. Oh.
Sorry but you I'm single. Baby right is will she get mad
that I just did that Your girlfriend?
She's she's going, she's going for a laugh.
Are you getting married? No, no, no, no, no, no, God, no.
Are you? One of us are.
You going to have babies? No, we've got a dog in that and
(13:05):
a Moss. What's a Moss?
I'm for sure videos. He's going to explain what Mars
is, or he's just going to do that.
You have to explain what Mars is.
Mars is our sort of autism child.
Pet owl. Owl no psycho pet.
(13:26):
Do you think you're a Harry Potter?
Psycho. He's a Mars.
He's a He's a picture of Mars upfor.
Me. I want to see Mars.
Is he cute? Does he bite?
No, that's not. That's Mars, not the dog.
That was Is that your home screen?
Oh, he's a cute little teddy bear.
Oh, you've got a notification here from Girl When?
(13:49):
Girlfriend. Girlfriend, she's got a bee.
Why has she got a bee neck? So she stink?
Does she stink? Does she?
Stink. No, We used to dance like bees
and she we. We haven't.
Oh, now a honey tastes nice, doesn't it?
Oh. Honey tastes nice.
They call me Big B because I getall the honeys.
That's a cute owl. Yeah, so I can talk.
(14:11):
He talks. He talks to us.
I was. Thinking you meant like
Morrissey or something. And he's he can be a bit
boisterous. So I think you'll like this
episode. Yeah.
Yeah. I wanted to be in a porn film.
What was porn scene? Not fucking, but like, Fluffin.
No, I'm not. Yeah.
But I'm like, yeah, use, use fuck because of me.
(14:35):
So I'm like, hey, keep it down in that room.
And you're like, oh, that guy issuch a such an old narc.
And I'm like all that guy. You want a proper job.
You know you have to bang on thefloor with like a walking key.
You've rimmed in countdown and. Then how old are you supposed to
(14:59):
be? I'm like fit.
This doesn't sound like you. Did Yeah, well, I've lost it
like, and then and then I'm like, you know, my the guy above
you're you're in the room above my side, right?
Keep it down. You've already got water
dripping because you're too fat for the shower, so keep it out
(15:25):
in there. Jamie Oh my God.
And then my Sonic. My shower broke today and he's
just said that, yeah, because itwas, it was leaking, you know,
downstairs bedroom. So you're with a, you're with a,
you're with a large gentleman who's ruined the shower because
you're washing, cleaning your ass in there.
And I'm like shouting like fucking all you up and clean
(15:46):
your ass. You've got water dripping and
some of it's rusty. Then three hours of shower.
Cleaning, yeah. Then you, then you fuck Tony.
And I'm like what? Do I do I fuck him or?
Do you fuck me and I wank to it?Do.
You know what it means when I fuck someone?
Yeah, what? Strap on.
No, you like you just. Like get a saying this I.
(16:06):
Don't know, he's saying I fuck you rather than you fuck.
Me. You just straddle him.
I just, I just wanted to have a nice life.
You just straddle him, so I justride you.
Yeah, yeah, OK. That's OK.
And then so there's the camera panty you keep, there's a panty
you have a wank. He's wanking.
He's pretending he doesn't like it, but he's wanking.
(16:27):
Yeah, yeah, there's a panty. You have a wank though.
Yeah. You don't.
You don't. Yeah, he's got the glass like
that, but. You don't know I'm wanking, but
you're like, I bet he is. But you can just see your
fucking pants moving. Yeah, but then.
I won't be bothered because I'm just enjoying myself as long as
I've got some. Yeah, you don't give a shit
about me to me. I I don't give a fuck about you,
old man. Are you fucking wet for I've got
(16:49):
a wet floor now. It's on bouncing on his and I'm
just. I'll be back.
Yeah, you're, you're in your back and you're.
Yeah, shut up, man. Shut up, man.
Then the plumber comes round to fix your broken shower because
you broke it because you're too fat for it.
But yeah, but then he's he's thereal porn star and.
Then the. Plumber that comes, it's the
(17:10):
real porn star. He comes to fix me leaky pipe.
And then, yeah. Yeah, and then you come and you
come down to Ireland. I can sit in yours.
That plum, isn't it, you bird. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's called Naples. It's called what?
Naples. They pause like neighbors.
(17:31):
But neighbors. Neighbors.
Like that one? Leave whores, I like that.
So yeah, so then we like kissingthat, but.
Do you kiss? Yeah.
Off come. I was scroll.
I was scroller on Instagram before he was kissing.
Was it you? Were you kissing someone?
He was kissing someone on your on your.
It was on your podcast. Yeah, I.
(17:53):
Haven't kissed any of it. I'll have to go and look I.
Kissed some lads. Was it you?
I kissed some lads at the live it was.
Jamie. Jamie kissed the boy at the live
show. Yeah.
Yeah, it was like the front cover.
And he also because you know, inthe live shows, obviously it's,
it gets a bit hectic, but Jamie stripped the young boy down, put
up, laid them on the table. Excuse me, better being 18 or.
1820 but he's. Your team, I'll let you know
(18:15):
I'm. 25 My gosh, 20. I don't like you when someone
says you. He was 16.
He was with the parents, his mumwas watching he shift them down,
right. Yeah, they I wasn't involved.
I just want a nice life. They stripped the dancer because
top off and they placed their items of buffet food on them.
And you ate them off I. Never.
(18:37):
I got big eggs, Scotch eggs. He decided to.
Scotch eggs. That that episode's not out yet.
I think she's talking about the hypnotist when you got someone
hypnotized. The kitchen.
Oh, the hypnotist. Oh, the hypnotist is probably.
Don't know. It was someone kissing and I was
like, what is that? Oh, there's lots of kisses on
this podcast. Are you expecting some kissing
tonight? Me and Emma.
(18:57):
I'll just watch. I'm not, I'm not really into it,
but I'll watch. Are you into it?
Men on men kissing No, I like women on women kissing and I
like men on women kissing I don't know, it's just I.
Don't like women on women kissing?
Really. Don't you?
No. So I had like a really hard
chick sitting next to me now andwe.
Were all like Tanya. She's mine.
(19:18):
Oh, you'd have to fight her. She probably wouldn't.
Should I just sit on your face? You might just pull a knickers
down. Sit on your face for you.
Yeah, I'm up for that. Like, I'm fine.
I've got another plan like. I can never watch porn with like
small willies. Small willies, Why?
I concentrate more on the Dick and balls and do anything else.
I think it's home wholesome. Wholesome.
(19:42):
I. Don't get it.
Oh, she watch? You like watching the penis
then? That's what I concentrate on
most, yeah. Is it?
Yeah, your poor girlfriend. Just that meaning, Tanya, what
would you say? What would you say that means if
Jamie English likes a conversation?
Well, if a guy is constantly looking, yeah.
I think he likes. The cock like, let's be honest,
(20:05):
like your girlfriend might be like thinking what the fuck like
so she's spread, she's spread out on the bed for you like
that. Come on Jamie, and all you're
thinking about is cock and balls.
No, not when I'm having sex. When I'm watching porn as a kid
or not kid like in me teens. Aged 18 or Oh yeah.
Right. Let's just get it right.
I don't know. We'll put we'll put a trigger
(20:25):
warning on this, Yeah. When I was 18, when I was 18 and
exploring myself, yeah, you can explore yourself.
I just found outside I was all about the shaft.
Your shaft or other people? 'S other other people's shafts.
Not gay porn, but I was like, I couldn't watch.
I couldn't watch porn with an hanging Dick.
Do you wear the tips dry and that like get some fucking
(20:47):
moist? On it checking.
That because you've watched a lot of it.
I don't know, I just, I just naturally thought even when I
was first watching porn, I was like, Dick's too small.
It's not doing it for me. Have you ever had an experience
with another guy? Yeah, yeah, I've been sucked off
and comes back and move. Have you?
Don't you know you might be bi? Maybe yeah, explored.
(21:08):
I've dabbled. I had a go at the sex buffet.
Sex buffet? I'm gonna come back to me.
Pork pie. Not let me go.
Not. Let me go as a pork pie.
She's beautiful Pork pie. How is that spade?
(21:29):
We don't use anything like that.Tanya this.
Digger the whole thing. Single as well, aren't you?
Yeah, I'm single. I'm single.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I need you to.
Oh, he can't because he's. He's got someone.
Come on, tell me what? What's dating like and what year
are we in? Like don't.
Ask me, it's been a while the. Twenty 20s.
(21:50):
What is dating like in the 20 twenties?
I haven't got a clue. So.
Is it all about swipes? Swipes.
It's what happened. To me, Tanya, so I, I have a
personal battle the past few years with myself.
Learning to love myself before you learn to love of us so.
Do you know what? I've got to stop you there.
But that's the most important thing in life.
Forget everything else. Yeah, I forget everything else.
(22:12):
We're sitting here like this. I'm serious.
Yeah. If you can't love yourself, you
can't love. Anything else and I have a
battle without loving myself. Sometimes you got to do and
sometimes. Tony.
Listen no. Tony, you've got to.
I know I'm trying. I'm awaken.
I'll help you. I'll help you.
I'll give. I'll have a side conversation
with you. I know, I'm serious.
So basically when I do feel likedating again, I'll go on like
(22:34):
dating apps and stuff now because obviously the podcasts
and stuff and being doing stand.Up you all know, yeah.
Yeah, quite well known. So when I went on on dating
apps, I made the profile. I thought, right, I want to get
back at a dating game. Yeah.
And then, well, don't Tinder. You know that because I'm.
Like is that the swipe? I'm old school.
Yeah. Like Tinder, There's more.
I don't even know what. I don't even know what the apps
(22:55):
are. There's more called like Bumble
or something, isn't he? And something else so that
which. Is the shag 1 and which is the
date 1? Hinge is more.
Hinge, I think, Yeah, Hinge. Hinge is more, yeah.
I don't know, I just go on Tinder me so I download the
Tinder I. Have like offshoots.
Like there's a one for the larger person called Kinder.
Things like that. That was, that was good.
(23:18):
That was, that was pretty good. I didn't go on which one.
Which one would I? Be so yeah I I download the
Tinder and I put my photos on there, you know, the new ones
that I liked and stuff you know make me and me fireman suit
like. Oh, I haven't seen that one.
Oh well, you know Tommy Only fans.
You send it to me. Tommy Tony fans.
Hey, hey, I've got an Only Fans Tanya Tate.
(23:39):
Hey, get on it you dirty bastards.
So I put all my pictures on and I liked and I went and I swiped
some people and I left it. Next day I've got a large group
chat and my profile got put in the in the group chat and so
went, hey Tony, I went watch it.Someone's pretending to be you
on Tinder. I was like, oh shit, so hard to
(24:01):
say. Yeah, cheeky nowadays, aren't
they? And that's a like lie.
Do you know how many times that people pretend to be made all
day long like Facebook people that went to school with their.
Yeah, that's that's bad. They do because it's like I've I
saw ABBC documentary and like they kidnapped these people from
China and they put them somewhere else.
They take the passports off themand they stick them in like this
(24:23):
little like mill. And then they'd be like, okay,
you've got to get so many thousands of dollars and if you
don't, you're going to get starved or whipped.
And then the people that make the money, they get all like
designer gear, like probably Nike trainees or something, you
know? And then they're allowed to
smack the others around. It's true.
You look it up. BBC documentary did it.
I was like, shocked. Now catfish.
(24:44):
Yeah, everyone gets catfish by me.
So if they come to me and they start going like why don't we
talk about how you're a lied on a thief?
And I think to myself, how, how about we talk about how you're
blocked? Yeah, yeah, you just blocked
them off. They.
Just blocked them. Yeah, 'cause I.
'Cause they are stupid if they, if they, if they don't know
what's a legitimate cow. She robbed them, yeah.
You know I'm not being funny. It's.
(25:04):
Not you. Tape of 87 follows you slide
into your DM, Yeah. Yeah, this.
Is my private account. Oh, it's dead side 'cause
sometimes I got like daughters of dads and then I feel that bad
and they go, they go, you know what?
My dad's getting scammed by someone.
That's you. And I'm like, tell him it's not,
well, can you do video? I'll go, yeah, but I'll charge
you. But I'm not doing it for free.
(25:24):
So. So then the daughter has to pay
for the video and I'm like, you know, it's not me because I only
have time to talk to people on premium social.
Having a. Difficult conversation.
I wouldn't have to tell your daughter like I've been
discovered. Like well, I think the daughters
probably seeing the money go missing out the bank.
Account. Happy for reason.
Have that conversation like you have to tell your daughter that
(25:45):
I was like, you know, happy. Father's Day, Happy Father's
Day. I've got you a video message
from Tanya. It's not me, Derek.
Fucking cancel your card and take your kid out to harvest
stuff and do that ball twat. Your daughter's missing her
inheritance. Oh God.
(26:05):
College fund's good that's 40 there because Derek wants the
wank class do. You know what?
A lot of guys have wanks over me.
Let's be honest. Yeah.
So I've got to ask you since thelast time we met, got to be
honest. This is a question for everyone.
I'm just a producer. Shut.
(26:25):
You are included, just pretend to get out here.
How many times have you wanked over me since we last met beyond
I? Haven't.
She's 345. Maybe 10 maybe or something.
I like it. Oh, do you know what you what?
We forgot to say. What do you remember?
You give us them presents? Yeah, they got stolen.
Yeah, the fuck the Great Pussy Robbery, Yeah.
(26:46):
The Great Pussy Robbery. Who robbed my pussy?
Can we? That's gonna just be the sailor.
You rub my pussy someone? Someone rub my pussy.
I need to right take off. OK, Someone who's watching this
now, because let's be honest, you must have been, you must
have been with these staff or something.
(27:08):
Must have been. Yeah.
What the fuck? Oh delivery guy.
Delivery guy. Delivery So some delivery guys
come in to the old place or staff.
Danny. Oh, Danny, Danny, I've got to
wear it this whole time. Danny, we're wearing the two fee
meddling Gibbons it was. Me.
He's taking a. He's meddling over 18 year olds.
(27:28):
Over 18. Over 18.
So someone rubbed my pussy. Do you know what you've been
missing out? Oh my God, Poor Tony.
I've got it. So basically it was.
Oh I'm sorry, we didn't ask you.How many times did you wank over
me since we last met? At least once.
Thank you for being honest. I'm not a good lad.
(27:50):
So they got left in the old place and then as they've got
been moved over, the workers have put them in like a storage
cupboard and then slowly each ofthem have disappeared.
So there's some empty boxes there, but.
What they don't know is I used man.
They're all sticky at the other end.
They're like. Yeah.
(28:12):
So, yeah, So about the date and then Tally, are you gonna, you
gonna, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna go and send them
and stuff like that online or no?
That's what I'm trying to fight.I'm trying to figure it.
I think the best place is so many people is being out there
in a bar. Like at the gym or the bar or
the gym. Or a podcast.
Podcast or a? Podcast or a podcast maybe.
(28:33):
Yeah, I think a bar, though. I think a bar is the perfect set
of me. I think so, yeah.
Not where people are too, too bladdered and stuff like that.
I just mean a nice chill bar, you know what I mean?
You know, I've been walking in town, I've been staying in town
like Liverpool city centre and I'm walking through and there's
like loads of people singing. I've seen some fella and he's
all singing and he's got his tambourines and I thought, you
(28:55):
know what I could do with Someone Like You.
I like a little bit of a dance and all.
That How do you like to dance toyou?
Yeah, I like to dance. Too.
I like to dance, so we are. Yeah, we go.
Maybe go for a dance later if you want that.
Yeah. I'll be up for that.
But I don't spot world though, so we can't go there.
Where else? Where else are you barred from?
Just a just pop world. Just pop world really.
Why'd you get barred? Bob Why?
(29:16):
Why? He was an accent.
He was an accent there, don't you?
It was ABH. There's an accident.
Have you ever heard I've had thetime of my life?
There's dancing. Yeah, like I I ran on suicides
and left me open and he died. May he rest in peace.
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Can you give me another? Beer.
Please, he needs another beer. He's just asked you for another
beer. Yeah, they're down there.
You've not just said that have. You heard about the cow?
(30:44):
Can I have one of them? You can't if you repeat that
last joke. You can't if you repeat that
last joke. Repeat that last joke.
Go on. Which I don't like.
Seldom be Patrick Gravy. Patrick Gravy said.
So the Swayze that was funny past year did.
You. So let's talk about you then,
(31:06):
Tony. Talk about me.
Yeah, yeah. Like you want to know date like
the dating scene? Come on.
It's that soldier. It's been, it's been a while.
I've I've been talking to a couple of a couple of a couple
of girls are lying, you know, like we're just conversation
every day and stuff like that. It's just.
Respectfully, what? Respect, obviously, Yeah.
Yeah. But talking to a couple of
people are lying, stuff like that.
(31:27):
But it's not really, I've really, like pushed it out
there. I just kept it there, you know,
I mean, just just general chitchat.
Not really. I haven't really flared or asked
them out yet or anything like that, but now I just think I
need to sort a few things out inmy whole life first.
Get a bit more, get a bit more whole, a bit more peace.
And then I think it, what about me best?
About me best, You know what I mean?
(31:47):
But sometimes I do struggle. But it's life in a tab and all
the same. Battle with a battle with
drinking a lot. Battle with a gambling
addiction. He's stroking your leg.
Making him feel better. But, yeah.
But you know what? It's all been good.
(32:07):
And comedy is a nice therapy forher.
Yeah, isn't it? You know what I mean?
It is. Have you been?
Anyway? Yeah.
It'd have been all right. You've been OK.
Yeah, I've been all right. You.
Enjoy your back home. I love it.
I love it back up here for. Well, I was in London for a week
doing sightseeing, then I'm in aweek in Liverpool.
Oh, that's so nice. Yeah, so I get to see my family,
you know, I get to see my friends.
And so it's great. Do a little bit of shopping.
(32:30):
Prime Prime Arnie. Don't you have time in America?
No, no, I mean the prime Arnie in the socks and the pyjamas.
Yeah. Don't you have Primark in in
America there? No.
No, I think, I think the other one was in like New Jersey and I
tried to go online and order. It and you can't order anything.
Online, you've got to go. And pay like living the life in
the states loves come back for Primark it's positive that'd.
(32:53):
Be Primark, man, yeah. No one I'm paying for myself.
What's your plans in Liverpool? Have you got any plans doing
anything? Do you know?
Just go now. Just just seeing everyone.
I just like seeing everyone likemum, dad, brothers, sisters,
yeah yeah, cousins, friends. Because you are you originally
from my mind. Yeah, W Arby Ways.
Do you know what? Like, everyone always asks me
this, so I always. Yeah, you're going to find out
(33:16):
now, right? Exclusive.
Exclusive. They're going to find out
because they always. I'll be like, oh, Crosby.
Yeah, just fucking bullshit here, right?
OK, so I was born in Oxford St. Maternity Hospital.
I lived in Cape Town. Bootle, Norris Green, Runcorn.
Let's just keep going. Just.
Yeah. So there's like loads of places
I lived in, loads of places. My nan lived in Eggbeth, my
(33:38):
other nan lived in, I don't know, the Dingle.
Yeah, yeah, obviously you've gotfamily spread everywhere have.
You. When did you move to America?
15 years ago. Is that just for porn or was it
just? Do you know what I was doing
porn in like the UK and I thought, you know the next step
you. Break America.
Yeah, break America. I'm a singer.
It's like a comedian. But yeah, I did it.
(33:59):
Yeah, I did. It does.
Pay more, pay more. Yeah, it does pay more.
And I and I went over there and I love it.
You know it. It's nice.
You know, it's the lifestyle just looks boss out there,
doesn't it? You can't beat the sun.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
And then I, I go to the gym and the gym's got this outdoor pool.
And so I can either go and do like me aerobics class in the
pool, you know, or I can sit at the side and just get like a bit
(34:20):
of a sun tan. You're just lying there.
You feel like you're in Spain. We've got an outdoor pool near
us and it's always got like deadbugs in it and that and.
I go to a past gym. I got dead bugs in there.
I got levered after one live show.
I mean, missus was like, oh, yousaid we'll do something during
(34:41):
the day. So I'll pick anything.
I'll do anything. Do you what I mean?
And I said, right, swimming. So now I'll go swimming.
She's dragging me to swim this outdoor pool.
Yeah, she used to be lemons and all that.
I'm just in the shallow end. Like you're just hoveling.
And every time she like, right, if she's outside, I have a
little Kip on the side. I just start sleeping in the
pool. I see these kids swimming up to
(35:02):
me and then swimming away from it.
You're just going under. She keeps swimming back up.
And when she comes towards her, I'm like, yeah, the pool way
water and that sick. And I mean, she went back up
again. I fell asleep again and the kids
swam near me again and then backaway.
And it turns out the kids were playing a game where they was
(35:22):
daring each other to see who could swim closest to me without
me waking up. So he was the man.
I was the man, the man. I was swimming near the man.
Do you like, well, like if you've got kids and there's the
man, you know, don't, don't go there.
He's the man. Jamie is the man, isn't he?
Like he looks like the man, Yeah.
(35:43):
Scary man. Kids.
Scare my kids. Yeah.
So what have you been up to themlately with the films then?
Yeah, I did a few films. I did.
I did like my first boy girl seen back for MILF Everything
for milfiemilfie.com. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I just do that. And so it was like that first
(36:05):
one was a teacher that was nominated as well.
Yeah. And then I did best vignette sex
scene. Vignettes.
Vignettes Sexsina. XMA Awards, 2025.
Oh, lost. Yeah.
And then I. Didn't think so.
Whatever awards is the night that I've.
Got it. January Las Vegas January being
(36:26):
me date is. That Vegas there How?
Do they judge it? What's the?
They have to watch a lot of porn.
So it's like you get all the nominees, like all all these
different movies are suggested for the category.
So, you know, if you want to be on the team, you've got to sit
there and you've got to watch itall and decide, you know, what
are you going to, what's going to get your highest score?
(36:46):
You know, I mean, it depends. I mean.
Do they change? Like do you like all the cost
stuff? Always wins Oscars.
There's no. Do they have like a big finger
that year like if you have? Like, like, like a big movie.
And that big movie is going to like Get on me.
Right. You know, like the Oscars, like
(37:06):
if you do a little film about a little diff kid who like
conquers his demons and that he's going to get an Oscar near
this diff. So do you have like, like, Oh
yeah, if we have it set here andyou know.
Do you mean like people are likefilming towards what would win?
Yeah, you get say, you get a kidwho's cross eyed and then.
What the fuck you cross eyed will not win.
Then you shag him that well, he sees straight and he becomes an
(37:29):
optician. And that will start and then
start. Everyone's crying watching it.
I don't. Think that works in porn?
Oh, you can see again. Oh no.
It doesn't work in porn, does itnot?
No, it's just, you know, sometimes they have like a big.
Movie sometimes the storylines are are good or Hardy.
Everyone wants a storylines. Yeah, do you know?
What I mean, you've got to put abit like I'll fuck him straight
(37:51):
eyed. You're a freaky lost the plot.
He's lost. He's lost.
I would like to see you search history.
Would you tell you? Oh.
God, no, don't. So I did.
So I did the I was the teacher. Then I did my first anal, you
know, like, yeah. And that was nominated as well
(38:12):
for. Best how did it feel then
obviously after you don't you don't you prep prepped for it.
You know what I mean? You dieted for it and I cleaned
that was it was it was to the hair still.
No, no, no, didn't it? Oh, that's.
All I. Didn't it?
It went very. Damaged, washed breath.
Well, Raring, because you, you, you're doing the training.
You you make small. Medium, large and you, you know,
(38:32):
it's quite not quite like. Like me, when I buy like a
double XLC shape, I really like it, you know what I mean?
It's just, you know, put put like washing it and stretching
it. You know what I mean?
You just stretching it. Keep stretching it, keep
stretching it, and then it just gotta go in.
Quite elastic. Like, yeah, it is like it is.
It was, it was, it was good. And then I did another scene
(38:54):
after that where it was very, very, very big, tall black man.
Yeah. And you know what they say about
black man. It was bigger than Dan Damage
was. It Yeah.
Yeah, and he was like the chauffeur with his, like,
leather gloves on. I was like the very posh, like
Madame Mistress of the house. Surprise has never come out your
mouth, you know what I mean? Like.
Do you know what? I'm surprised as well myself.
(39:19):
I'm just saying we it's fucking.I sometimes I wonder it's like
if there was to stand next to it, it's like 6 foot 6 tall
fella like this fucking big massive slump.
(39:42):
And he and he, he went like thatand he opened his pants and it
went smack and smacked him in the face.
And I was like, oh, and here we go.
I was like, put your all to shame.
Like, you know, you, you just like, yeah.
But we, you know, we're not professionals, are we?
We try our best. We try, try our best and then I
(40:04):
did another one. It was like the bouncer and it
was like me and me two mates andwe were like it was Phoenix
Maria and Rachel Kavali and we had to get into the nightclub
and he was like. Name's not.
Damn, you know, coming in. Yeah, not tonight, girls.
So we mate went like Dash turnedaround and whipped their
knickers off, shoved them in hispocket and he was like come on
in girls. Oh yeah, I just people write
(40:25):
this stuff. Yeah.
Come on, Nay, pause is well better than that.
Yeah, I like, I like that one tobe.
Fair. I mean, if it was me, I wasn't
the one taking them himself, butit was me.
I would have shoved. I would have shoved them in his
nose and made him sniff. Oh yeah, I like that.
Yeah, I like smells. Have you ever, have you ever
(40:46):
wrote your own? Like like, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to direct for Philly
films and it was all girl, girl so but it was all three ways.
So it was like a mum, a sister or a mum and and a daughter and
a niece and an auntie, whatever.Friend, go over to stay.
Sort of. Thing, Well, they weren't really
friends because it was all like lesbian family affair, yeah.
(41:07):
Yeah, yeah. And obviously it wasn't me, but
yeah, I used to come up with these like little elaborate,
like little stories. And then I'd come up with it and
I'd be like. But do you actually write like a
script like and it's a scene left?
Yeah, well, not scene left. It's.
Pretty much. It would just be like, you know,
a few lines, whatever, and like you know, internal like bedroom.
(41:28):
Yeah, yeah. You know no And then?
Mum sees staying on bed. What's this, huh?
Get out my room Mum, you suck. Oh, I will suck.
I'll show you how to suck. I'll show you how to suck,
darling, Yeah. I'm just sick.
Wait. There you go, I want to write.
You couldn't. You could write scripts you I
couldn't send you. Some scripts.
(41:49):
He's very, He's very. He's very.
Adventurous. Yeah, that's the way.
Adventurous. Yeah, I couldn't send you my
Naples scripts. You can you can send them.
What is your writer's name? Jamie Hutchinson, Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Are you all right having your
name put out there? Yeah, I'll, I'll, I'll change it
so that Paul. Jamie Slutchinson.
(42:09):
Oh, I. Like that one better?
Yes, you. Are a writer, I mean Hutchinson.
Slutchinson is good. Well, I like that.
I like that. Yeah, we'll get that in mate.
Have you? Got any plans to go out in town?
In town, you know. Don't know where you're taking
me. Oh.
What would be your date with Tanya?
Go on my date. Yeah, where?
(42:30):
Where would you take me? Oh, I think I'd like to have.
I'd like to get dressed up with Tanya because she's very classy.
Well, I'm I'm already dressed. Exactly.
Yeah, but well, look under my bedroom floor later.
You see got. Your dad's couch look better.
(42:52):
Look better on the top of my dad's watching.
Yeah. And your dad comes down and
Knicks. Do you?
Live with your. Dad.
Yeah, yeah, I've just moved. Yeah.
Moved with my dad, yeah. I will.
What's your dad's name? His name's Tony Carroll, too.
I, Tony Carroll. I your dad.
I love Dad. 'S yeah, that's, that's cool.
To be fair. That's funny.
Yeah. Yeah, that's I think.
(43:13):
Will he like that? What's he?
Will he like that? Oh, yeah.
My dad loved that. Dad's sick.
Oh yeah. It's my dad as well.
What's your dad called Mark? I am Mark Jamie's dad, Mark
Hutchinson. Mark Hutchinson.
Yeah, I am Mark Hutchinson. Hope you're all right, love.
Blow him a kiss, please. Can you blow him a kiss please?
(43:33):
Did you get that, Mark Hutchinson?
Hold on. Happy Father's Day.
There you go. I believe to Father's Day
because like. That's better than vodka, isn't
it? Yeah, yeah, As I said, as I said
before, I think I'd like to go somewhere nice for food with
Tanya. Yeah.
And I think it'd be Italian because that's my favorite.
So it'd be me two favorites and at once.
Then I'd like to go for some nice cocktails, maybe like a sky
(43:56):
bar or something like that. You know, something really just
nice and. What what what you getting
though? Which what about?
What can't tell you getting me? What food are we?
Getting what food are you getting?
Because I understand. I don't mind garlic.
No, I just, I mean like because he spills food all over himself.
I. Don't.
I was thinking, you were thinking more about Curry, like
(44:16):
don't get a Curry, but it's likeItalian, you don't get Curry,
you know? Later on, it'll be a disaster,
yeah, but then I don't want to get too bloated, you know what I
mean? Because we're really bloated.
I'll probably just get somethinglike like a carbonara or
something like that probably. I just don't mind if in tomato
with you. Not a lot of tomato we know
about the day. Yeah, Tanny can have whatever
(44:37):
she wants. By the way, I love.
Tomato, but I'll have like the little napkin tub.
Yeah, you know, you can have whatever you want on the menu.
What? You wearing what you wearing?
You can have the money. Don't see.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wearing what I wear.
Oh, it's it's summer vibes, I think like a light blue shirt,
nice blazer, nice some nice jeans.
You're a million. Boys.
(44:58):
Nice, nice spray on, you know, just dead and.
I I. Smell a little bit.
I like smells, don't I? I'll be like.
You do like, don't you? So I've got many hairs on me
chest but. How many hairs have you got I?
Don't know about tennis. Oh, you're right.
No, quite a few, but I'm not really hairy, though.
You're in there and trying to goover here, don't I?
So yeah, that's what I'd do. I'd have that, maybe some light
(45:21):
chinos or maybe light chinos, blue shit, sunglasses, boom.
And then after that we go in theSky bar some nice cocktails.
What cocktails Pina? Colada for me, yeah.
Oh, pina colada for you. What's mine?
Oh, I'm going to say. You're sexist on fire.
(45:42):
Sex on the beach. You have?
Yeah, Yeah. Oh, really?
I just. Smack that as I do that.
Sex on the beach? Yeah, I mean, well, we could go
to Ainsdale after. That James Dale's a piece I
know. All right, sideline, you're
laughing. Go Ainsley after it so your.
Friend said you're always side of proving that they don't laugh
(46:03):
at me. What's going on?
And throw stones at seagulls. And yeah, I think it'd be nice,
a nice evening, cocktails, you know what I mean?
A lovely chat, catching up. Oh yeah.
Then after, you know, after that, be a gentleman.
And you know, make sure you've got, obviously.
Send me home and then you'd be wanting to ask me for some of my
porn. Yeah, no, I'd have to send you
some links so you could have. A wine.
(46:23):
And that's what I'd do, Yeah. Because I'd be too scared to ask
you face to face. I'd get home, you know what I
mean? I'd be off your face.
And then I'd just be like. Yeah, you'd be off.
How would you take Daniel Alchemy?
What? Well, I'd go back to ours and
I'd go, listen, there's a game here, right?
I've got 10 pictures of male assholes.
(46:45):
One of them is mine. You pick it out, you get a
starter. I drive the star no.
Guess the arsehole. Guess the I.
Don't want to guess? No, you don't.
Play Guess the rim. Oh my God.
Oh, you've been in America too long.
That's what's the dating scenes now.
Oh my God, I do not want to comeback to the dating scene in in
(47:06):
Liverpool. If I've got to guess the rim.
Every time I want to have a datewith a fella, I've got to guess
what his rim looks like. Yeah, well, not, not all the
time. Sometimes they'll put like 9 in
and one of his ethnicity in, so like 9 of different ethnicities.
Like when I was out with women, I used to have loads of male
Chinese assholes and I'd just have my own asshole just so
(47:29):
everyone would go, oh, that's obviously your asshole.
Yeah, you on a date. It's like, it's like a romantic
thing. Don't listen to it inside,
you'll be OK. No.
Are they to go that? Well, you don't need to.
Go, that's like a sign. That's like a sign.
Like listen, I know it's a one in 10 chance, but I want it to
be a 10 out of 10 chance. So have a star on me from none
(47:50):
of the 9 Chinese guys. What do Chinese assholes look
like, by the way? Sound but it's got obviously
different skin around it from meand mine was.
Do you have do you have like do you have red pubes around your
asshole? Yeah, get matted like play DoH.
(48:10):
You don't. You don't want to shit funny.
It's. It's like, it's like Play DoH
coming through one of those Turner things because my asshole
nuts like that I kept like a cargo.
Net doesn't feel good. A.
Cargo, yeah. So you can.
I need another drink, Danny. You're listening to this shit.
(48:31):
It's likely to go get your little.
Drink. Don't you remember?
Don't you remember how weird we was on the first one?
So yeah. Especially Jamie.
Can I have? I could.
Try this very. I'll cut this out, yeah.
Just have a break. I've got an amazing friend
called Beverly Mediumship and she's come with me today, hasn't
she? Yeah.
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Today. And she keeps telling you all
stuff about, yeah. She she she told me exactly how
I was feeling today. That's all I said, Manana.
Manana keeps coming to me and what she's saying, she's telling
me off. She's not happy.
You sure? You still got what I call, I'm
(49:59):
trying to read this politely, myGod.
But no, you've got, you've got to catch up with your age.
Does that make sense? Oh yeah, I've always.
Got to catch up with his age. Oh yeah, I've always had.
That have you got a brain of a 12 year old, but you've got to.
Like, yeah, I'm fuck me. Like, yeah.
You, you love for you and I'll tell you when you're going to
get love. You've gone from now to the next
(50:22):
18 months and that's when you'regoing to get a partner. 05 foot
3 but I could say you were talking about I was saying this
before I could see Chinese around you.
Chinese. A little Chinese girl, Chinese
food or a Chinese girl? Oh, that's going to get Kelly.
(50:47):
That's funny. Well, you know what?
Here's the thing. I've just got my drink topped
off some sausage. Cheers last.
Must have been, you know. Must have been the.
Man, cheers Armour. Do you know I love that?
Like if your Nan's here. I used, I grew up living next
door to her, so she's always, that's all that you're close to,
yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you know what I love? Nan's.
(51:08):
Nan's are the best. I I I was raised by my granddad.
Me. You've got to raise me.
Your granddad. 'S hands same.
Thing, isn't it? I think it's always nice being
being raised by the generation above, I think.
My gran's funny, yeah. So I went to my dad's on
Tuesday, My dad's the lives frommy Gran, and she goes bingo on
Tuesday. So for like playing for me and
that. I'll just go to the old school.
Big, so old. School big no like working men's
(51:31):
school yeah top prize is £70 butyou get like but they have like
a line for like pork chops and that yeah I mean and she come in
she's just dead bitter about everything funny though but you
win anything grand won a tenner fella next to me won a 70 LB
hold on he's just been left a bungalow believe £70 for.
(51:58):
Dad still just had to stop with you.
You're not? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Not in that way.
What? No, I mean she's not still like
still with his. Mother, it's fucking car.
It's just he's going deaf. She can't just shout and just
shit at each other. Both miss each other, speaks
funny lad. Go around and just send you
(52:19):
wonder miles off it, both of them.
You topped up time, you feel uncomfortable.
I feel, you know, I feel dead comfortable.
I love being back. What did you do?
What did you do in London then? Because I haven't been for ages.
You. Always I'm there on Saturday.
I went there with my mate and mylittle boy.
And we did. We did sightseeing, we went
around like the crown jewels, wewent Tower of London, went
(52:41):
Madame Tussauds, I went Minecraft, I don't even know all
all that kind of stuff. Yeah, it was really nice.
Dark history like Tower of. London.
You know what, I wanted to go the the dungeon, the London
dungeon, but it looked a little bit too scary.
Yeah. You know, I can't even watch
scary films. Me.
(53:01):
No, I went in, Madam. She saw.
I don't want to watch this, to be scared.
I went in Madam Tussauds. And then you go down the bit
where it's like all the scary bit and then you're there on the
door and I was like. Someone's watching your video in
there. The ghost watching the video, I
was like Oh my God, I got to getout.
Do you like watching scary films?
No, no, I don't like it. I don't.
(53:23):
I don't. Like it, I don't wanna be
scared. I don't want to sweat.
I don't want to sweat and be scared.
I don't really get scared of them though.
I kind of accept it that it's a film.
Paranormal art to be jumped. No, I do not like.
It yeah, I just don't get it like once you get off it.
I watched years. I watched years ago in London
like that woman in black and then they made a movie like
(53:44):
that. Daniel Radcliffe did the movie
years later. But I shit myself like I went
there with my mate years ago andwe just sat in the audience and
was like 3 people and like you know the way they do the story.
And then this woman just kept appearing.
The audience was screaming all of course I was screaming like
I'd have to have someone like cling on to I don't like it.
(54:05):
And then I sleep with the light on.
Yeah. They plug some lights on.
I don't like the dog. I don't like the dog well.
I like Dark one. You like dark?
You're a dark guy. I just like, I like, not like I
don't get off of it, but I like the macabre nature of humans,
(54:27):
like how mad humans can go do. I mean, well, the Japanese are
living in Manchuria. To the Chinese one, they were
fucking them up. Brev, what does he do?
What's I'm doing? Experiments and all that, and
they weren't even asked. So yeah, there are experiments
on, you know, what are you goingto do that?
Say it's fucked up I can't even just love one, but.
(54:47):
I'm interested in I'm interestedin the human psychology of it.
Like how can a human mind go to that?
So all these punishments back inthe day where it's like fucking
hot rod up your ass and spread eagle and.
I mean, that sounds like a good movie.
You know, I'll be all for that. I don't like to take pain but I
(55:08):
will give it if like someone's really.
Into it you like giving pain. Some, yeah, yeah, if you, if
you're into it, I'm into it too.Get off me.
So we asked Rebecca Goodwin whata favorite fetish was.
Can we ask yours as well? Like real life?
Not not to. You know what I mean?
In real life. Oh yeah, I mean.
My favorite, I mean my favorite fetish is to get a really
(55:32):
powerful man, lie him down on that floor, squat down and piss
in his mouth and make sure he drinks every last drop.
And if he doesn't, I'll slap himin the fucking face.
Yeah, I'll sit this one up. Who wants to take my piss?
(55:55):
Are we allowed to say this? Sorry, Danny.
Like, are we gonna can't put this on Instagram?
I'm sorry. No, I won't be on that.
Right, but I love it. I love the thought of a really
powerful man. Like if you are earning more
than me an hour, I'm like comingall.
Over your face and piss. How much do you earn an hour?
(56:16):
No, I mean I don't mean that. 225 years How much?
225 it's not 2. 22. Five piss piss.
I love it. I love it.
The first time there was there was this club in London that I
went to years ago and there was a fellow then he had toilet
(56:39):
slave on his chest. Toilet slave.
Yeah, and I kept looking at him and he looked like he had a
nappy on. He had like this long hair and
sandals. He looked like this club, club,
club rub. Club rub.
Yeah, that was the name. Something a sex club.
Yeah. Ohh.
Like. He was next door in chub rub.
(57:03):
And I kept seeing him, I kept seeing this fellow walking
backwards and forwards and I thought, fuck that, come on.
And I went like that, get over here.
And I took him to the toilet andI just squatted on his face.
But the worst thing about it washe didn't catch it all.
So some of it splashed on me feet and I was pissed off.
About that my first ever my first ever sexual experience.
(57:24):
I inadvertently dragged piss Yeah, because.
She square on, yeah. No, it's pissed.
Just pissing me off. She pissed piss on.
Your I was I was licking piss off her but not wanting to but
just thinking it was like I didn't want to be seen to like.
Was that, was that the first time you've ever, yeah, ever had
push? Yeah, do you know what?
Don't you? Know what you're doing, didn't.
(57:45):
Know what I was doing and I was.Like when, like, you know, when
a dog's like eating dog food, but it's like a little a.
Little bit on the. Corner.
It's sad to get to it. Yeah, I was too sad.
No animals. No, no animals.
I draw the line. Gotta be age over 18 and you
can't be an animal. I meant, I meant he was his
tongue was doing the same as a dog, you know, like trying to
eat dog food, the last bit of dog food when it's like and the
(58:08):
balls going round and I. Was like, I was too scared to be
seen as like, oh, what, you don't like this?
What you gain that? So I was just looking pissing
and she like, I went, Oh yeah, yeah.
And then she pissed him off a bit.
Some people like. That I didn't really like it,
but did you? Just do it.
I didn't want to see him. I was inexperienced.
But you told me she'd just be inthe toilet.
(58:29):
Yeah, she'd just be in the toilet.
Yeah, yeah. So how has she got another piss
then if she'd just be in the toilet?
She just didn't wipe properly. No, she didn't.
She was like dribble, like leftover.
Oh, at least it wasn't a bit of dribble of shit leftover.
Would you would you have sucked that off as well?
Probably, yeah. But I didn't say no too much
(58:50):
really as a kid. Like well.
Age. Age.
You know what? Over.
Oh my God, it's messing with my head.
Yeah. Do you know what, though?
I've got to say, when I was younger, I used to love watching
the, you know, like that all that tutti frutti, you know,
that German TV or like. Was it like euro trashy?
(59:11):
Stuff Euro, yeah, Euro is like German and they'd all come out
with like the little boobies bouncing and all that.
Was that was shit? Do you think you just destined
for that? Yeah.
I used to watch it when I was babysitting.
Did you? And I'd be like.
Oh, like those, you know the magazines and I used to flick
through the magazines. Would you?
So you would you always like? Was sexual.
(59:33):
Yeah, yeah. Was was, yeah.
That you're into always, Yeah. Well, I got to a certain age and
suddenly, like kind of blossomed, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I always used to think
that women were hot. Was a shy in school.
Was a shy in school, Yeah. No, not really, no.
Because that knows. Because some people.
Do you know what I do? I, you know, we all have to do
topics and everything. And I did a topic and you'd have
(59:55):
to draw it on the board. And I talked about breasts.
I don't even know where there was.
It was like all the different layers of the breast, the nipple
and the milk ducks and everything.
But I was like, I think that wasa thing to come.
When you like look back and you think, God, you know, like I'd
(01:00:16):
be friend people. I'd be friend people on
Facebook. And I look at them and then I
look at me and I'm like, I thinkI'm like, I feel like I'm 10
years younger than them. But we went to the same school.
We're in the same class. And then I think to myself, you
know. If you look back at me and you
think about me when I was like that same kid in school, who
would have thought like, I wouldhave been like this?
(01:00:36):
Did he say milk ducks again? Milk.
Ducks. Milk.
Do you want me to milk your duck?
Just I can. I can milk.
Yeah. Don't build my ducks.
No animals. No animals allowed.
God, what about fish? No, I do not do fish either.
You might do fish, but not me. No, I don't do fish.
(01:00:59):
What do? Fishy fish.
Yeah, for them Pescos. No, I'm a Pisces.
I can go near fish breath. I'm an Aries fire.
Water me. You're all back to the fish
economy. Yeah, what are you?
What are you, Tony? The Watch What are you?
What air sign are you? What star?
Sign oh Libra Libra. Which is fire scales.
(01:01:21):
Scales, yeah. Make your own jokes at all.
It is. Scales.
Libra is scales. It's like the balance.
The balance, isn't it? No, it's a fish are.
You are you Earth? Are you fire?
Are you water? Hello, should we fire that?
Danny, Google, Libra, Brev. Danny's on Libra.
(01:01:42):
I reckon. It's the.
Scales. I like water, so I think it'll
be water. Like.
I think it'll be watery. What am I meant to Google?
For that just say all. The traits of a Libra, it's
like, let's see if it matches up.
Anyway, so let's talk about my my wank, my wank machine.
(01:02:03):
Yeah, the missing pocket pussy. Or was this different one?
No, no, it's just me. I just like, I do.
You know what I really love whenfellas just call me and just
want a fucking wank. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love it. It like really turns me on.
So, so is that is that an optionthat you can do now?
Is he just like? Is he something online that you
can? Just so you know, the way they
have babe station with the phonelike that, I don't do that
(01:02:25):
anymore. I just, well, I honestly I only
did it for a couple of weeks. I was back in the UK and I had
to go. But like, I, I don't sit there
like that. They call me and I'm in the
kitchen, like making a cup of tea or something.
And then I'm like, oh, yeah, I'mdead sexy.
And then I have to run into the bedroom.
I'll lock myself in like the closet.
Oh, yeah, I'm dead sexy. I'm really turned on.
And I'm like, oh, shit, OK. And they're like, oh, what you
(01:02:47):
wearing now? And I look down and I'm in my
pajamas. Pajamas like you want some
Primark? Primark.
I mean primar me primarney pajamas. 2 for £16.
Either not the £16.00 apiece, yeah.
The star was Britain, mate. It's not the sacred in this
country. Bastard.
(01:03:08):
So so then I have to I get all like down down and sexy with
them. I love it.
I really. Love it.
Do you like that you started to like that more now?
The phone call stuff. I love it all the video calls as
well. Video calls.
You got to be careful because like, what are you wearing?
So you like make some bullshit up and then and then next when
they click the button and you'relike, oh shit.
And you're like. Oh, I just got.
(01:03:29):
Dressed again. Trying to.
Like get your clothes off like really fast.
Oh, it's all funny. Before we leave town, one of the
one of the things that you that people can reach out to you and
if they want to, you know, explore some sexual things that
you tell you. What can you do?
What is it? Is he a website that is every on
(01:03:50):
your website or is on links or stuff like that?
Yeah, it's on links. You know, if you go best go to
Twitter because like we're allowed to put everything on
twitterx.com slash go on there. I've got minks, I've got only
fans. Of course I'm only fans, girl.
I've got all the others, you know, like.
Many call video call you get personalized videos.
Personalized messages. Yeah, I'll, I will.
(01:04:12):
Do you want a personalized videomessage?
Yeah. OK.
Yeah. Should we do one now or?
Yeah, I can do it. I can be like I can do like a
happy birthday message or I can just be like happy birthday
message. Obviously I can't do that,
sorry, can't do that. This I'll do for you lads.
Can you do? Sorry your nan passed away and
she keeps coming back as a ghost.
(01:04:33):
Well, if if that's really what you.
Want I want that. If that's what you want, that's
what you're paying for, I'll do it.
Yeah, please. Am I playing your Nan or?
No, you're just saying hey, hey,Jamie and Norma, and then just
say like, you know, I can do that.
Go on. I can do that.
Hey, Jamie. Hey, Norma, she's coming back.
She's like, do you know what? She's going to be with you
(01:04:54):
tonight and you're going to havea really lovely night's sleep
and just dreaming and tonight and give it a kiss and a hug.
Oh, sorry, I'm serious. Use it all laughing all asses.
He's just kissed his bums boobs or didn't kissed chin chin I
(01:05:21):
can't believe. You down to that I.
Believe in all that. I can't believe you broke down
to all that. You know.
So I do be, I do be self, to be honest, I, I, I do believe in
it. And I'm looking forward to maybe
getting media on the podcast soon.
Well, you should. Get a media into the spiritual
world do. You know what you should, I
think, you know what I think we should?
We all have to love ourselves. We all have to feel like really
(01:05:44):
strong inside ourselves. And it's like we're, we're,
we're going into a higher level,you know, and it's all about
loving. Once you love yourself, you can
love everyone. There, there's no.
Room in this world for heat. Not at all.
Not at all. Put the bombs down and get the
pocket pussy three thousands up.That's the that's the political
message today. Bombs away, knickers off.
(01:06:07):
I'm on. More next week, go full time.
Are you awake? Can be fired you.
Know lads, you've been great. Thanks for having me.
Thank. You very much now.
I'm made-up. I'm made-up to be back, OK, I'm
on Twitter Tanya Tate, I'm on YouTube and TikTok at Tanya Tate
tube. I'm on Instagram Tanya Tate
(01:06:28):
create and of course I'm on all the minks, the many vids, the
little fans, the only fans TanyaTate, you know just just find me
I'm out there you're. Fine.
Don't find the fakes. Don't find the fakes.
Support Tanya, she's fantastic what she does.
He can't wait to show us. How I need piss.
I need your. Arse, I mean not say goodbye
(01:06:49):
yet. Time for a way.
Thank you for joining us to the episode this week and.
You're catching for going for a piss.
Thank you very much, guys. See you later.
Thank you very much, Tanya. See you guys soon.
Gee, thank you. Make every Dr. exceptional with
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