June 30, 2025 • 64 mins
Whether you call him The Godfather of comedy, the middleweight champ of the world, or something else one things for certain… He’s a legend and arguably the coolest guy on the scene. Unreal episode from start to finish!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
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(01:38):
I don't know. I don't know if the some clubs
will pull in people, but people just want to go and see people.
You know what I mean? You.
Told for quite a while though. I've been torn for yes fucking
16 years, yeah. Never got any bigger, Jamie.
Word of mouth is dead. You like, you like middle weight
(02:00):
champion, You like pound for pound.
Kings, yeah, it's. A nice place to me.
I think it's OK, man. We.
Were because you still keep the status of like every comic loves
you do what I mean, if you get too big, every comic kind of
turns nose up then, don't they? Yeah, well, let's, let's fucking
hammer all this shit out. Yeah, this one.
I love that one. I don't know.
(02:22):
Yeah, we've got sight. We'll keep hiding, OK?
We are, man Tom State's part. Cool.
Yes, it's the first time here. Tom State's first time.
Welcome back to the episode of Hot Water Stream with a legend
on a say on a say. It's our friend as well.
I think some podcasts in green rooms let me, yeah.
Fucking honour my virginity is about.
(02:44):
You're going to crack my cherry ass here, I'll tell you the
story. I'll tell you the story time
that I was very proud of you. I said this on the podcast The
Last Podcast. I'd just come back to stand up
at 10 years off. I was managing nightclubs in
Liverpool and stuff. OK, I just come back to Hot
Water and I started doing Tony Cattle and Friends.
It's full every, every time. It's fucking made-up.
(03:06):
Ran out of friends after the first one.
You know what? I mean, sat back at the yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. Gets a call and it was yourself
and you were like hey man I can just be your friend for the
night jump on I was like yes youremember you come on I.
Do remember that man. Yeah, fantastic.
Totally, man, because we were, we were like I was in, we were
(03:27):
in the beginning of the whole hot water phenomena.
We were, we like it. Fuck, if I would have put some
money into this shit. Like I was, you know what the
original hot water was is like Bitcoin.
Yeah. Now we're.
Talking this massive. Thing I did, I did my
inheritance on Spiky Mike. Come on.
Damn cool on Apple, Rodney. Fucking I think, I think people
(03:57):
like us are just destined to miss that awesome wave man, for
whatever reason. But you know what?
Like you said, middle weight champion of the.
World middle weight champagne. Half a pop is the best.
Fucking 22 to 300 seaters. I'm the king, man.
Yeah, but they're the cool roomsto play the but stand in that.
You OK? You you know what we say that we
(04:19):
say they are the cool rooms to play for, for like, I don't
know, for for intimacy. And if you're a if you're a
punter, you know what I mean? That's that's we everybody wants
to say that, you know, we saw fucking the guy when it was 200
seat theaters and then you go tolike Paul Smith level and all of
a sudden it it. But but let's come on, man
(04:41):
fucking I'm going to die penniless and homeless.
You know what I mean? Middle weight, who was actually
there's probably a lot of middleweight boxers that are probably
bumming like that's the problem with middle weight.
Some of them, some of them will get through.
Most of the most of. The you used to do what?
(05:05):
Yeah. Yeah, it's like comic say if you
don't want to play arenas and stuff because of the, you know,
but then I got a bit, I got whatabout the money?
Yeah, Yeah. I'm not talking about playing.
Well, you know what they call it, right?
Like fucking when Bill Bailey and all those guys went out,
they didn't call it an arena tour.
They call it the bank run, man. Yeah, that's the like to them,
(05:25):
you know, I, I don't want to give them any disservice because
they're all fucking great or whatever, but you know, of
course they want to play the 500seat, but come on, man, Fucking.
Everybody wants to go. Play an arena and I played arena
once Tony one time. It was for it was when Addison
was still alive and it was for the kids hospital or whatever
(05:50):
the fuck, whatever charity closeto my heart.
You know, they all the children.Anytime you raise money for
Children, it makes me feel fuck.And then, yeah, it was at the O2
Arena, man. And yeah, we went on there with,
(06:12):
I think there was Kevin Bridges.It was when Russell Brand was
still fucking. Legal.
Taping chicks? No, I don't know.
Allegedly, allegedly, boy found Christ, whatever.
You know, allegedly all that stuff.
I didn't put any thought into it.
(06:32):
Yeah, we don't know. But you know, does it?
Does social media lie? I don't think.
So I think find all that stuff. I think, I think, I think all
that shit. But anyways, he was standing
there and I, he could have, I think he could have banged my
wife at that time because yeah, yeah, Because me and him were
(06:53):
that he's so tall and he smelledso good.
I wanted to suck his Dick. Danny.
Yeah. I wanted him to pull my hair and
later, 10 years down the road, go.
I didn't give him any consent. Yeah, yeah, I don't.
I'm the opposite of Danny. It's so far.
Is it? Because obviously it's he's
wrong and if he's that's happened, but then you don't
know if it's just people just doit because the fame and stuff.
(07:15):
That's just come. Across certain sketches.
Excuse man, I think as soon as you turn to God like what are
you I doing pal? I reckon when I'm playing.
Yo-yo, who else is, I reckon, a great fist?
Ned Flanders. Ned Flanders completely too
nice. He is too nice.
He's diddly diddling kids, but he is diddly diddly kids.
(07:40):
As soon as I get Christian, it'sover.
Yeah, well, it is, isn't it, Jeremy?
Every, every, every dude in jailfinds God, man, You know what I
mean? Maybe Russell, Brad, just even
he found God before he got. So he's going to have all those
Christian people, just just raw,raw on them.
(08:02):
Thank you for coming to our sideof you know.
That's the original Dreaming Gang.
Yeah, church course. Actually, Jimmy had never
thought of that. Case.
It is man, so he probably found his people that he wants.
To yeah, blood that down. I love, I love hanging out with
(08:24):
you too, because we get us rightinto like we're liking a
hypersonic comedy missile. Saving into the Russell Brand
savings are so much confidence with yeah, you don't know a
fucking thing. That's hilarious.
You have to have a break off thebooze then, Tom.
Yeah. Just for, yeah, for a little bit
(08:46):
for. What's a little bit to you?
Though, well, a little bit. It's like a month.
Man, like a month. Yeah, it's a long time.
Is it man? I haven't.
Been past six days for about 3 years.
What? Since we can't get past day 6.
Why dude? Because we do this every Friday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We do the live show every Friday, I think that's why.
OK, what? You got a drink on the shows and
(09:07):
all that shit. Don't have to, but it makes it
better. It makes it easier the death,
it's easier it. Loosens you up, man.
It gives you gives you a little bit that even if you're then
again, it should be natural now.If you're not, if you're not
funny and you're dying, it makesyou fills that void, doesn't it?
Oh, yeah, fucking hey, listen, man, I I love booze.
I'm fucking, I've used it as a lubricant many times.
Only fucking only time I'm nervous.
(09:28):
Like, pound back two or three and I'm the talk.
I'm no man, I'm not stripping sober.
That's that's just a performance.
That's a performance wall I willnot get past.
That is like a bound Jeff set myself.
I'll never strip sober. Why is that?
Well, I saw. Well, well, I saw the.
Oh. You saw the first time I got
(09:49):
fucked by the. Mic Sam.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, honestly, Jamie, the
debut, that was my like, I can'tremember.
I've seen you perform, Tony, butI don't think I'd seen you until
the Murders row. Yeah.
Where were we? We were in Chester, Manchester
and that was mind blowing to me because that was like I was
(10:14):
standing there going Oh my God, like, but have you ever seen?
Anything like that? I well, I've seen people take
the I I've seen. Have you ever seen anything like
that? No, no, I've never seen, I've
never seen, I've never seen a a a Mike Stan get sexually
assaulted like that. You know what I mean?
Like like that? Box I'm gonna.
(10:36):
Have to go to therapy now but but it was a great bit man.
At least you can say it's original, huh?
At. Least you can say it's original.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's original.
Maybe five years. All these open spots will be
fucking. Yeah, stuff.
Imagine, imagine one day you, you sit there and you're
watching somebody and go. He stole my fucking sexual
(10:57):
insults, you know, like that. All of a sudden what you do, it
becomes a hack. All of a sudden, everybody's
everyone rocking. It everyone just trying to go
further, shoving it right over everyone.
Yeah, so we do a bit of the liveshows because last week if we
just get bored and we just go fuck it, I'm just going to like
like dance to a stag do or something.
Right, Right, right. So it's what is the?
(11:18):
Material like working. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Scotch eggs all down him. Yeah, not me.
No way you've. Still been there.
Although I think if I saw you do, it would be like one of the
seven wonders of the world. That would have been amazing,
Tony. Something nobody's seen yet.
(11:39):
Jamie gets Jamie got a top off and he was doing some, you know,
eating some food off off an audience member and the whole
crowd was chatting get taken offTony to me.
Oh, really? I was.
I was like, that would peer pressure.
I was thinking, no, like I used to wear like T-shirts and pools,
you know what I mean? I'm not taking my top off and
it's going to be online forever.Is that a?
(12:00):
Is that a I'm? Like self-conscious about about
it, but I am definitely online. OK.
You know, being, being. Yeah, we've.
Been topless together? OK.
Right off. Camera, I went right How?
Much the hotel under the. Hotel room I went.
Around this watch the boxing mods and I sent them outside, he
answered. He answered the door in just a
(12:23):
towel. What you doing last year?
Oh, sorry, I was. I was just getting out the
shower. And then the red boy comes from
behind. Yeah, just getting out the
shower. 2 doors under his legs. This.
Is what I can't stop drinking. Oh, that's great, Tony, but
(12:44):
you're like you're, you're not self-conscious or.
Anything like that, obviously I lost because yourself and stuff.
What I mean, just being, just being topless online, I'd just
be like, oh, that's just too far.
But isn't that like only fans? Isn't that like fucking you're?
Not getting paid enough, you know what I mean?
You haven't fucking signed up for it yet though, Tony, Have
you Tony? Fans.
Yeah. Man, Tony fans.
Tony fans, dude, dude, I like that actually and.
(13:08):
I'll tell. You, dude, I bet you, I bet you.
This is how weird the fucking world's got.
OK? You know, it used to be like, we
love Brad Pitt, you know what I mean?
But now there's genres of everything, don't he?
What? Genre would I be talking about?
Well, you'd be fucking. You'd be.
Do you want to see fucking giant?
Fuck this giants like you. What would you be?
(13:32):
I just woke up. Well, you're OK, to be honest.
You'd, you'd rank up in fetish territory.
Yeah, yeah, you'd totally be in fetish territory.
Like yeah, fucking there might be people out there that love
fucking big ass fucking boy. I like to think that you're
because people like you, becauseyou're not arse and stuff and
obviously you're on the large side.
(13:54):
I think people would be interested if you're getting
sucked off, but you're interested in your ghetto.
Yeah, I mean. Like, Oh yeah, you got to do
something for sure. You can't just.
Stop that. Don't make me come and meet me,
Gato. Yeah, I want to say Gato, it's
cake. Yeah, watch with all the French
(14:18):
words. I'm from Canada, but I don't
like it there either. Yeah, man.
Yeah, for sure man. You totally fucking get the.
Pays. It pays, doesn't it?
You what I mean? Dude, I don't know, I know it
pays for the girls. Would you agree with that?
Like. It pays for some girls.
(14:38):
Yeah, for some. So the 1% mega rich, but there's
somewhere they've got like 8 subscribers, 4 family members
and three colleagues. So I mean.
Right. OK, OK, see this is where I've
not adventured into only fans. Yeah, yeah, there's some.
There's some with like criminal.If I was single, I might.
(15:00):
If I was single, I would. I'd be really.
Would you be? Would you like to pee?
Pee on the curtains off. Yeah, man, but back in the day,
man, fucking you could go into the movie theatres, please.
You know, fucking like proper like porno theaters.
You actually even have those anymore.
They don't have porno theaters. No, no, no did.
You did you go to 1 back in the day?
(15:21):
Yeah, of course you did, man. They had little booths and
everything. Do you ever?
I don't fuck. Am I that old to the point where
you can walk into a booth, you put like fucking a couple
quarters in and or whatever and then like a little screen, you
fucking watch a private beer? Yeah.
It's not like, not like the. Showcase.
(15:42):
Yeah, yeah, we like you're some popcorn.
No, no, not like, hey, is that Pee Wee Herman over there?
I'm just sitting and eat me ghetto.
Well, any cinemas upon cinema ifyou're brave enough, Yeah, go go
and watch Frozen and do it. Frozen.
(16:04):
Let it go. I won't let go of anything.
Let it. Go I want to do this.
Hold in. Hold in.
That's amazing. Yeah, I don't.
Fuck, I don't know. But that's that's for the,
(16:25):
that's for the thing, isn't it? What have you been?
Yeah. You've still got like the sex
shows and that, like the sex shows and stuff like that.
I'm yeah, yeah, just for Taurus,isn't?
It like, are we talking about Amsterdam and all that?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know, guy, like, come on, like fucking.
Everything's just blown up now, hasn't it?
Any any type of performance, sex, comedy, whatever.
(16:49):
You can I'll, I'll pick up my phone and it'll it'll just be
there, wouldn't it? Now you know.
What it means like it's so. Easy to make like it.
It feels like it's easy to make money on that phone now if you
if you got the ball. Imagine like if I was.
I just wish I was smart man. I wished I was too.
Jamie trust you making listen between the three of us fucking,
(17:10):
we're not solving any problems. So like proper.
Proper. We're not solutions guys.
We're not. Solutions.
Problems. Sure.
We're not problems. We'll create problems problems.
Yeah, we want more problems wanking in Disney films.
There's a problem. This is we'll solve that case.
(17:32):
I don't have a PhD. What am I not?
A film man. Listen, I'm not the howl guy.
I'm not the howl guy. I'm the big idea, dude.
You're the Steve Jobs jerking off.
I'm going to talk to some Chinese students, so make my
wanking frozen dream come true. That's amazing games.
(17:57):
Yeah, dude, it's such. I don't know.
How old are you guys? I can't.
Even remember that. Right and you're in your 333333
and I'm 55 man, so that's like fucking you guys are like
you're. Better than I don't.
Know how I did it, Tony? I don't know how I did it.
I'm fucking I was the hardest corn partier right up until.
(18:22):
Was you? Did you double on everything
talk? Like everything.
Yeah, I love because comedy wasn't a business back then.
It was like, I'm talking like anold guy back in the day.
No, but it wasn't, it wasn't like I never started comedy
knowing that there was, you know, patrons and and you know
(18:42):
what I mean? When I started, it was like just
even getting on stage, it was like, you know, I mean phone
calls, you'd call at 3:00 and hopefully be like like some
radio show where you're the in the 12th calls.
Then you'd get on stage and maybe make a little bit of
money. And the best you could do back
(19:03):
then would be, you know, maybe you could be a big stand up, but
you're really shooting for like sitcoms and all that sort of
stuff, you know. But you guys are starting in the
like this, this in itself, man, I could only imagine if we had
this. I mean, me and a guy named
Russell Roy started something like this way back when.
(19:25):
But the the problem was the Internet wasn't good enough for
it. So it was like, and nobody was
really on it to watch it, but itwas fun.
We and all we did was same as you guys just got fucking
hammered. That fucking guest on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But people like to see that man
that that's they're friends. Yeah, yeah.
I, I had that image when, when Istarted stand up 'cause I'd only
(19:46):
ever seen it on like DVD's and stuff.
And I had, I had this really romanticized view.
July. It's gonna be like leather
jacket, you know, like just boozing and waking up and that.
Then I went to the first open mic and it's just five fat Goths
crying. Yeah, I mean weird.
Just fucking where it was. This I was gonna be like cool
rock'n'roll sort of things. Mama's the mama's the opposite.
(20:08):
Because I didn't. I don't.
I don't really watch, don't stand up.
I don't like it, really. OK.
I just love doing it. Right, right, right.
It's. The performance, the performance
kind of thing. I just got a bug straight away.
OK, so yeah, so you don't like watching it, man?
I like watching. I like watching like I.
Watch it live. I like watch it live in comedy
clubs and stuff. I know what I would.
Do but I'm not really I'm not a massive fan I.
Don't watch a special though. That's interesting man, because
(20:30):
I'll watch them all man. I like because the only yeah,
there's cunts like you coming behind ready to Take Me Out.
Do you know what I mean? Like because that that's also a
place where I'm from. I'm always from like, like
fucking. We used to call it head hunting.
I don't know if you're, if you've ever heard that.
(20:50):
Yeah, yeah, like fucking. But back in the day, right.
So you were, you were either opener middle or headliner,
right. And to get to that headliner
spot, you had to make sure that that headliner could not follow
you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean? So I have that instinctual thing
there, but I used to be the one punching the headliner out.
(21:11):
Now I'm at the headliner side and I'm watching you cunts
coming and you guys are killers.Well, This is why I'm running
out of things, you know what I mean?
Like because I'm not sorry. This is what I do then.
So I'm on like a Thursday and it's like I was like a young
whippersnapper's first middle ona first day when Oh yeah, just
(21:35):
remembered, you know, Lastly, the same section on Wednesday
tried have a good one. Do you like fucking like a box?
Swear, yeah, I said y'all swear it has open his mums and he
can't swear that's. So cold, man.
Fucking every match. Jamie's taking this like they're
(21:58):
about to go head to head. Hey, like, I'm like the refs,
all right? No below the belt.
No, no, no head shots. Dogging dog in this world.
Have a good comedy show. And what I'm.
Doing I love to swear. Don't swear.
I'm taking a different approach where I'm looking at the
killers, the ones coming up. Yeah, and I'm befriending them.
(22:18):
Ohh, course I'm making them buy me breakfast and stuff.
And then and then hopefully, if they make you still remember
that I was. You start a joke.
I'm actually the weather. It keeps it keeps going for
breakfast and open. Spots.
Yeah, just 'cause if they make. This guy that bought your
breakfast? Tony, if they make it, then
they'll say we should be. For a week.
(22:39):
We broke bread together, you know what I mean?
Then they'll look after me. Yeah, man.
Yeah. Yeah, Tony Cow maybe buying
breakfast. Tony.
It's all gonna come out the scandal soon.
Russell Russell Brands is gonna be fucking the breakfast fucking
bullier you're. Right on news that is a big
sausage. 1010 people, 10 comics sitting behind the camera.
(23:00):
Yeah, he made me buying breakfast too.
You're in a court case, yeah. Yeah, those figures look like
sausages too. Yeah.
He did he have breakfast buying overs.
We had our we had our free cook offs.
Just olive oil. 42 miles of HP was Richard.
(23:24):
We just get arrested on tomorrownight.
This lunch got kind of freaky, man.
He's saving his phone as hospital.
Dude that's amazing. So you don't watch any of them
then? You don't care about nothing
coming up. Fuck me.
Yeah. Just.
I just, I just love doing it allme state there's nothing better
(23:45):
than smashing a room with a witha crowd full of strangers.
Yeah, that feeling, get that feeling get off of me.
It's just it's better than any drug.
And I double truck with drugs and there's no better feeling.
Dabble with drugs, Tony. Dabble.
I think you'd do more than dabble.
Yeah, if I looked in your phone I can find a lot of dabble.
If you're gonna see me pocket, then I was gonna shoot the
(24:05):
cameras off, isn't? It like he dabbled in breakfast
with breakfast. Damn, I like, I like to.
I never dabbled in drugs, I always went full in.
Right, OK, I like to dance with the devil.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, the devil's getting
sick of, you know, You know whatI mean?
(24:26):
Like I'm knocking on the devils and I'm like, Sam's dancing.
He's like Tory. No, you know what I mean.
Yeah, yeah, the devil's turned me into an old man drunk.
That's the problem, man. Already.
Yeah. Oh, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've got.
But then again, I don't know what I don't know, like what the
fucking, what The thing is now, 'cause like I used to be able to
go for like 2-3 days, you know what I mean?
(24:46):
Like fucking boom, boom, boom. And then we're all good.
And then and then it's went to two days and the one day and
then it's like fucking you be cut.
You're going really good. Like I just don't know when it
happens. But then you're just this guy.
That's how I get. And so he gets that dumb.
(25:07):
I hate that dumb. I've always been that like.
Really. So you go.
Well, me and you could hang out then, James, I go because.
I could puppet. Do you want to know I always
start every party when I hang out with people now going I will
not be apologizing to you tomorrow.
I will not be apologize. You want to party, I'll party
with you, but I know I'm going to get fucked up.
(25:28):
I'm going to like, and there's going to be a point that I
because unlike Robin Williams, God bless his heart, I do like
getting blackout drunk. Yeah, I love it.
I like. That's what I'm drinking for.
That's what I used to do. I used to drink, wake up in bed.
I've done. It I wonder what happened.
(25:48):
And then try and retrace your steps and.
I've never blocked those ever. I just, I could just drink like
a horse mate. I'm fucking fucking just.
Like. That Friday I did finger.
Yeah. Just roll with you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got on the train home and woke
up in my brother's best because I got on the train it sat off in
10 minutes. So I thought foot this, I need
(26:09):
more booze. So I went to the shop.
Train went. You got off the train.
Yeah, I got off the train. I was on the train on, woke up
in my brother's bed and I just drank like 8 cans in Piccadilly
station eating a pork pie watching Married at First Sight
Australia. Right on and off, you better.
Fucking whale of a time. I just want to know, what if you
(26:33):
don't know what heaven is that just sounded like.
That Adrian's a bastard. Yeah, dude, you're you're in the
same category. Yeah, man, but I don't go beer
anymore. Like I say, I'm I'm more of
whiskey, fucking coke, whiskey coke and and either vape weed or
real weed. One of the two man and I'm just.
(26:55):
No, I I love, I love the the class age me and I'm just
chatting shit to people. Yeah, I'm meeting new people.
I'm just fucking and, you know, just selling tails.
You what? I mean, yeah.
Movie. Yeah, because not all of us are
going to be fucking heroes, you know what I mean?
Like, a lot of us are just getting by every day, man.
And that's like, like you hear about these 1% and keep it
(27:18):
classy and all that down here inthe pit.
That's. What?
It's me, man, because I look, I was raised like my family.
I don't know what your family was like man, but my family were
all hardcore Alcoholics motherfuckers, but not they
weren't like. Bad.
No, no, no. None of them were fucking
horrible, do you know what I mean?
(27:38):
They were, they were fun as fuck, but they got like my
uncle, my Uncle Tom when he died, OK, Like he found out he
got cancer and all that shit. You know what he did?
He fucking he, he sold his houseto a friend of his, said give me
the money now. And when I die, you can have
this fucking house. He took that money, bought
(27:59):
fucking shit loads of drugs, shit load of booze, fucking
everybody he ever knew in his whole life.
He said the doors open, just come in and fucking party.
So man, we partied for like 6 months man like crazy.
And, and Tom, and you got to understand my uncle Tommy was
(28:21):
also the first Breaking Bad guy.Like he used to make meth in his
bathtub and, and, and he he wentto jail for it, which was I can
tell all these stories, man. He was one of my favoritest
uncles, man. My, my, I think my cousin Norm
has his police report when he got pulled over drunk, but they
(28:43):
were watching his fucking house.They're watching his house so
they couldn't arrest him, but he's so hammered that he fell
out of the car when the fucking cops pulled him over.
And they were like, fucking call.
And then they said you can't arrest this guy because we're
watching his fucking house if you arrest him.
So there's this whole report. And if I could get it, that's a
(29:05):
good stop. It would be.
Yeah. It it just it like the cops like
fumble fell out of his fucking car and they said here's your
keys. Sorry about that.
Fucked up, man. Yeah, but that's like there's, I
(29:26):
got so many of those from my childhood, you know what I mean?
I think a lot of people, not, not the people.
Luckily enough, we've built an audience over three years where
these people like us and you know, they have their struggles
and stuff like that. We get nice messages of
obviously listening to us makes their lives feel better, which
is nice and that's what we choose to do.
But there's people out there obviously who will judge people
(29:46):
like that, like your uncle ourselves, who like to party.
And that's if whatever you want to do in life, that's fine.
But it's our fucking life in it.Yeah, it is.
I like to party. No, no, like and yeah, even just
I think, I think when you know, you're not going to be a
trillionaire rich guy or whatever, you're here for a good
(30:07):
time, not a long time. You know, that's, that's been my
whole fucking ethos for as long as I can remember.
Greek word, huh? Greek word.
Fuck the French. The French.
(30:36):
Nobody even knows where that onebased.
Shut the fuck up in French, by the way, if you really wanted.
So the I think I I want to remember how they said Femtaga
or something like that. It was fucking.
But to me it means nothing but time to go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's of course, man.
That's, that's, that's what they, that's what people do.
(30:58):
Most of the people I know are like to go out on Friday, they
work for the fucking ass off. And then they go out Friday,
Saturday and fucking kick it back on Sunday and do it all
over again, man. And that's their existence.
And it's great, man, cause 'cause the one thing about being
a comic, 'cause you get pretty lonely out there, man.
(31:18):
At least these guys got family, friends, all of that shit, yeah,
that they've worked with. Like everybody goes just your
work buddy. And I'm always like, yeah,
that's my fucking work buddy. I've been with this cunt for
fucking, you know, I've known this guy for 13 fucking years,
man. We go out every set whatever and
buy some. All my work friends, we'd we'd
get together by blow. Of course we did what we did
(31:44):
with her paycheck. What was they going to spend it
on? Rent.
I'm not wasting, I'm not wastingmy blow money on rent, Yeah.
That's ridiculous man. Fucking this is for blow
gambling maybe? Rent will give you confidence.
Yeah, I never spent the rent. I wanted to start a band.
(32:07):
Yeah, dude, it's so. Yeah, there was.
Those were the. Good, so you know, just just
thinking back and I'll reminiscent made so many fucking
plans. Coked up, you know?
Oh man, I'm in full. You feel like the.
Best, don't you? Like, we're going to do this.
We're going to do that, Yeah. Next day.
Just like we'll do Fuck. All everybody has that story,
man. We're going to get together and
(32:28):
have dinner and I'll make spaghetti this time.
I. Remember Me and my friend came
up with a Courier service idea of like really specific, I can't
remember what it was like. Maybe like storage right now.
We'll we'll do like that when I was 19.
We're both 35 now. Neither of us can drive still.
What's that? What?
What? When we was 19 we got coked up
(32:50):
and we really set out a plan to start our own Courier business,
right? You're like picking stuff off,
dropping things off 35 and neither of us can still drive.
No, nothing. Nothing.
Not happening, man. Well, curious.
But if you guys been friends a long time then.
No, no, no, no. Three years, 3 1/2 years.
Okay, four years maybe. You see But the thing with me
(33:11):
was I didn't mind the line. I mean now and then but I could
only get 2 lines up man so it better be good or or I'd fucking
you know get the Sudafed and allthat if I was really trying hard
man. I was you always block up
fucking. Horrible dude.
Like if we did one right now, fuck, I wouldn't be able to do
the show in an hour. Not no, I would, but I'd be
(33:32):
like. Yeah.
Like that, my, my favorite drug was always the psychedelics
though. Like I loved the psychedelics
when I was when we were in partying, when I was in 20s,
thirties and all that. Sort of oh dude, to go to a
fucking club. Like everybody makes a mistake
here. Kids.
I'm going to tell you how to do acids.
(33:54):
You never drop it before you leave the house, man.
Like you never drop it before you.
You drop it. You get into that club, you have
like two or three. Chill.
Fucking drinks and then you fucking pop it.
You will have the unless. Unless you're one of those guys
that don't have the mind for it.Yeah.
All of a sudden I've just steered you into man.
(34:16):
That guy ain't coming back, man.Like he, he thought too hard.
He lost himself. Troubled.
And if you troubled, you can't, you can't have something that.
That's exactly. The weirdos, and it's the
weirdos when you haven't just like they go more weird like.
Yeah, yeah, you gotta be able toand I guess it's but everything.
(34:37):
Would you say this? Everybody knows their drug.
Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean?
Like, like they've they've done the smorgasbords of all the
drugs and all that sort of stuffand everybody knows the ones
that they like and all that sortof stuff.
Like back in Vancouver, we have this place called Rec Beach.
I don't know if you, but it's a nude beach, man.
And and fucking we used to go there all Tony, you would have
(35:01):
loved it. You would have been able to just
be. There were a lot of good
T-shirts. I just don't be old, yeah.
Winnie the Pooh. Baby, like put it in the water,
put in the water, dude, fucking we.
I'll never forget the one we went down there.
(35:24):
It was me and my buddy Dave Brooks, and we were like, this
is a there's an old friend that was there.
We went down there and this was I think it was maybe the third
time I'd ever dropped acid before.
But we got down there and man, we were having the greatest
time. Everybody was beautiful looking,
everybody was naked. Everybody's fucking everybody.
(35:47):
I'm like, God, you know. And then the the the worst is is
that the fire was going fucking music.
I can remember. And then we woke up and and
that's when we realized we've just partied with homeless
people. Like man, we say.
(36:09):
There's a homeless. Fucking just a bunch of homeless
motherfuckers and we were like getting them all fucked up.
Man. Because it started, because you
know what happened? It started in the afternoon,
right? It starts in the afternoon.
You got really good. It goes 10 and 14 hours, man.
(36:31):
And so it started in the afternoon.
And by 1:00 all the people had left, but we hadn't noticed.
And then the fucking homeless dude showed up and fuck me, man,
we Dave couldn't. We're going to have to get
ourselves checked out fucking first thing walking up all those
(36:52):
stairs to the clinic. Why did you why did you say that
the advice about not taking it was that was that because of
that, that story of not taking acid before you leave the house?
Yeah, no, you've. Had some bad tips off the acid.
To be I've never had a bad trip off.
(37:12):
Never ever, ever. Because once you do it, the
first time we did it. Oh God, I haven't told any of
these. The first time we did it was
with my best friend at the time,Jason Natras, and I was just
starting comedy, man. I was just and he goes, hey,
Tom, I got some acid and it I'lltell you another story, but I
was really into trying everything at this time.
(37:34):
Oh, acid, right. That sounds cool.
Let's fucking do that. Let's walk some joints.
So we're sitting there, we're having we don't know what the
fuck acid is yet, right? So we drop 2, we drop one hit
and we do the mistake everybody fucking makes goes away from not
working. Fucking it's fucking come on,
man. This is this is acid, man.
I can do another one. And then I go, listen, Jay, I'm
(37:54):
just going to head over the I just got to go take a piss in
the toilet. I didn't come out of that toilet
for like fucking three hours. Man.
Because it was the first time I've ever seen hallucinations
and stuff like like the very, very first time I'd seen like,
like the tiles do all the, you know what I mean?
(38:18):
And then you're looking at your face and you could see the veins
in your hands and all that. It was like, Oh my God, I was, I
loved it. I was like, fucking wow, man.
And then and then I walked out and Jason was like, is this
happening to you too? And I'm like, oh, it's
happening, man. I'm going.
(38:38):
And then we go, well, we got to go out and walk around.
We got to go check this shit out, man.
So we walk and that's when the Ifucking first paranoia hit and
it's like, are you going in? We want to go in the 711 And I
couldn't go in. I was like, this is the fucking
doing my head in too much. So what I decided to do is I'm
just going to hide in the bushes.
So hide in the bushes, Jake. There's a guy in the Bush.
(39:07):
Jamaica in the shop. Oh my God.
I know I look weird, I'm just hiding these.
Bushes. So long.
It was so cool. Jason.
Yeah, that was so funny. He was one of my best friends
(39:28):
you got so many best friends in your life, don't you man?
You know what I mean so many best friends that you've done
some really cool things with youknow what I mean you got your 18
year old best friend you got your 20 year old best friend you
got your 30 year old best friendand then you get to 50 and then
you got no friends tired of people doing all your drugs
(39:49):
we've. All moved on.
Yeah, man. Do you like to sing some more?
You know all of course. I'm all good right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good rightnow.
Like I say, fucking I got a. How was your show was over went
to America then stuff like that,I.
Didn't go there. I don't do shows though.
Do shows go for just a little holiday and.
I just go for I go to see my mumand my brothers and all that
(40:13):
stuff because because I, I got no family over here except for
my wife and kids. If you want, call those fuck
families. They don't love me
unconditionally. My mom does.
These guys, they're like, if I died, they'd be like life will
(40:33):
go on. My mom, my mom would be in,
she'd be wailing like like in this Islamic, you know, I just
lose it. But that's, that's, that's my
mum, man, you know? But yeah, I go back there and I.
Bet your daughter. I bet your daughter as well
understand. I bet your daughter.
(40:56):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But.
I was going to be toy show thereYeah yeah, yeah, I got there and
it was like Tony Carroll sold out stand Yeah you Tony Carroll
yeah yeah, he's he's a good landlord.
I thought he's going to go. Yeah, he's used to tell.
That's a very sad that. Happened when he opened for my
show a couple of weeks ago. So I was hoping I did a work in
(41:20):
progress in Southampton. So the guy sent me a run through
and he went 4:00, Jamie Hutchinson, 20 minutes interval,
Jamie Hutchinson an hour. So I went, oh, it's Tony Carroll
doing the 20 minutes, and he went Who?
(41:40):
Question mark. Yeah.
I was like, you buy. You know what I've said to
Jamie? You'll know why I'm after the
show. Oh, really?
Oh yeah, Yeah, he. Knew me after the Showtime, I'll
tell you that. Your your guys's show would be
killer though, man. I can, I can totally see fucking
you guys. Just fucking getting out there
and destroying it, man, really. I think.
Maybe I should come to one of them.
(42:01):
I haven't seen you guys. Yeah, yeah.
I'll say go back out. I'm going back out on tour in.
Do you come up to Scotland then?Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I'm doing Edinburgh again.
OK, I'm going to come up and fucking.
I want to fucking check that shit out, man.
For sure dude. For sure, I enjoy, I enjoyed
that the last time, but I like Glasgow a bit more just because
I think it's because the Liverpool Glasgow, I think
Glasgow was a bit more similar pool I think you're.
(42:22):
Yeah, it is Glasgow. In Glasgow.
Yeah, I don't know, they got like the Edinburgh.
Well, the the obvious there is the the fucking class.
Yeah, that I'm Canadian and I, I, I wrap my head around the
class thing. You guys take it real serious,
(42:44):
do you know what I mean? But it's just rich and poor is
really what it is. So rich and Glasgow's poor.
But the again, I fucking I, I I like the the poor people go out
more then the rich people go outbecause they say they're rich.
Because they don't get the shit out.
The poorer people are trying to forget all the fucking shit and
(43:05):
the problems, of course, but they're just.
Free people. Treat.
More. They're just more of a laugh
them out there it. Is but that see.
Sorry, yeah. These rich crowds you like.
Yeah, but you don't understand Jeopardy.
You've never had jeopardy in your life.
We all have. That's where the humour comes
(43:26):
from. It's us trying to overcome
jeopardy. That's exactly.
That's what the humour is. It's us failing constantly to
overcome jeopardy. But if you just hop, skip and
jump over jeopardy all your life, you don't understand the
struggle, the greatness of. You don't understand that grave
the. Struggle to get.
Up that we're that we're trying to avoid because you just fly
(43:46):
over it. We're in the, you know, we're in
the undercarriage of the Titanicwhere they're all doing Irish
dancing and all. Yeah, so you just worry about if
your stakes to pink. Where the Where the fucking
boys? But there's always one that
breaks up to the soft class. Yeah, the pisses all over the
bottom. I can't wait to get in that top
chat, David. I won't get out of the bottle
(44:08):
but all these. Bones were jeopardy.
Like I've had enough struggle. Jamie's remedy.
Shut up. Who who who?
Fuck off. Take your T-shirt.
Off I'll give you 20 bucks to totally and me like I need the
(44:32):
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(45:46):
You, you nailed it, Jamie. That's but that's comedy in
general, man. That's not like comedy.
Who I want to say it was George Carlin that said it.
It's a working class art form. You know what I mean?
That's been hijacked by all these posh fucks.
You know, like, not like when you go up into the upper
(46:07):
echelon. The comedy.
There. There's none of us up there,
Michael McIntyre. The mustard jumpers, mustard
jumpers, the mustard jumpers, or.
Don't explain to me mustard fucking already.
Trust me, mustard jumpers. They were they were mustard
coloured jumper and then the actor nerd.
And they have dungarees. Yeah.
(46:29):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they've all went to Oxford.
Yeah. All those guys.
Like it's, it's just so funny that, that like the, the, you're
right. We, I, when I look at the top
people, I don't see us there anymore.
Do you know what I mean? Do you, do you like when you
watch those shows? I'm not really relating.
(46:51):
Now to a lot of them put that I think also it's the the.
Bridges maybe the exception, which is yeah, probably, yeah.
There's always going to be the exception, but if you're like,
it shouldn't be. We shouldn't be talking, it
should be. It should be the other way
around, of course, You know whatI mean?
Because because we're like the, we're the, we're the population,
man. We're we're the.
The things like with what? What especially what like The
(47:14):
Pioneers in the game at the moment?
I had them down and etcetera. And yeah, there's lots of
comics, especially Northwest is forever and even some of the
American it's it's most of the Americans as well, to be honest.
It's put it back into the comicsand now, isn't it?
Yeah, I think and it's. This here, this is what we're
talking about, this sort of stuff.
Even it's even it's club I thinkas well as is is is the support
(47:34):
and support and stuff like that.You remain, I think, of the
comedy clubs. They don't own the airwaves
anymore, man. That's what I think.
Yeah, yeah, of course. I think I've been saying this
like, you know, Jonathan Ross and all these fucks, whatever,
the Graham Nortons and that. I guess there might have been a
time when they would introduce new comics like you and Jamie,
(47:58):
you know what I mean? You'd you'd watch on Saturday
night, they'd have maybe a big star there.
Well, they did for Bridges also.Yeah, they did.
For Bridges but but you look at it now, Jamie, you look at it
now and I don't ever see Jonathan Ross.
You know what I there's? No chance I could go on.
Jonathan Ross. Or not only that, not only that
they're. Probably all my ass meeting
(48:19):
Jonathan Ross. Which?
I would die on my heart speed. I have a stinker on there we
had. We had a medium in here, OK last
week. Yeah, right.
So she's going, she's doing she's just like a little get
really good energy in here and stuff.
And we've been recording for 40 minutes.
We just had a little break and she gives a little breakdown to
(48:41):
Tony. She went.
No, you, you doubt yourself too much and you know, I see, I see.
I'm the. Guy.
I see real positivity in in yourin your humour and.
Should you just stop? Like, you know, doubting
yourself and stuff. Don't doubt yourself.
I see, I see London in your future.
I see London with, with the guy who's on now and Paul Smith is
(49:03):
on, I see you Paul Smith in London.
I went, oh, you might be openingfor him at Wembley.
She went, Oh no, not Wembley. She meant she meant some gold
shopping with Paul Smith next week.
Even the medium vacations what chance have.
(49:25):
We got it's always $1040. To be fair, she she was being
like that that nice with me and saying I was a big heart, you
know, nice guy and James go whatabout me?
And she's just go. You need to grow up.
You kept asking, kept asking forages.
Like, do you share anything withme?
He's getting homes around me. Tell her what you said about you
(49:46):
now, love. He said are you your nan's with
you right now? She's she's having a go at you
for sharing too much. So I was like oh fuck off but.
Then he's staying around, Pop off and Nan.
So I she goes, we leave and I go.
Right. Bye Nan.
Oh, sorry. Hiya.
You should. Have seen a face on me, a face
(50:10):
like that. Yeah, just kiss me now as Ghost
Minge. Can't you deal with that?
You never kissed a dead cunt before.
Call my wife. OK.
Stop it. I love you, Drude.
I love you, Drude. You know I love you.
I love you. I saw it.
I took my shot. You see it, you got to go.
(50:40):
You got. To go, that was.
Yeah, dude, that's, well, that'scomedy.
That's for you, Jamie. That's comedy.
Yeah. Because are you scared to say
anything? No.
No, I'm not really. No.
It's not anymore anyways. Not anymore.
(51:02):
Yeah, I think average security blankets of having, you know,
quite a quite a good fan base and stuff like that.
I think that does help like. Oh, the the people that like you
like. You no matter what, like me for
me. So I I'm very more comfortable,
especially if we stand up and speak about everything in stand
up. Yeah, that's good.
Speak about Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta be able to fucking let
it. It's just what you're just
(51:23):
trying to figure out what your truth.
Is yeah yeah you just like just an hour show of drugs yeah and
prostitutes and that's it reallyI.
Mean, I don't even necessarily believe what I'm saying.
It's just funny, isn't it? Yeah, man, I just, I just.
What the fuck? There's no, there's no handbook
though, isn't he? It's just no.
Because that's like I don't subscribe to the.
Theme Funny 1 Funny. Subscribe to that theme.
(51:45):
Shit fucking hated me. You know what I mean?
Like I, I've always thought, youknow, like in the old days,
right when you, you, you walk around, a joke comes into your
head, you write it down and thenyou tell it like there's no
fucking segways from one to the other and all that shit.
It's just like boom, boom, boom.And that should be your truth.
(52:09):
But now everybody's like. I take the piss out I normally.
Think there's like a like a there's a there's a way to do
it. There's a real but there's a
real but my art for. My last show it ends as a piss
sake to Edinburgh shows. Oh, there's like a fake.
Yeah, yeah, fake. A fake?
What's that word Pathos Greek. Hey, he thought, that's pathos.
(52:30):
Yeah, I have. I have faux French.
Could you get on the computer and check that word out?
He felt like I was on Joe Rogan.Hey, you don't have a computer,
Tom. And no, there's no 5G and
bunker. Yeah, so I do a piss.
In my last show I did a piss take of the old fake sad bit.
(52:52):
On this one I do something similar where I take the piss
out of like my struggle, you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's all done as a guy to
take the piss out of those people.
But then it then it goes back tothis fucking poshness.
That's the, they're the one likethey're the ones that are doing
that. They're the ones like 15.
Minute, close, sort of like special meaning and putting like
(53:13):
a proper fucking emotional bevy on it.
Yeah, it's not funny. You don't have to say, just
fucking be funny. Think about you as a fucking
punter, man. You know, like to me fuck like
again to go back back to I want to bring my gal.
I want to have my friends or whatever and I want to go out
and laugh for an hour. I don't want to have to sit
(53:37):
there and turn to him and go. I feel pretty bad for this guy.
I didn't. I didn't know her story.
I remember once I did a first day at the old Comedy Store in
Manchester, like first say 10 spot or whatever it is, and the
(53:59):
headliner went on like struggledthrough 20.
OK. I was like, oh, I thought this
guy was meant to be good. You only don't know, but you've
seen him close everywhere and you think, oh, you must be the
boy. You're struggling lad.
And then he ends and he goes ends like muted response.
It's like a 5 out of 10. No one's hating him, but it's
(54:21):
like inoffensive, yeah, see whathe did there?
He puts the mic back and goes. And one more thing Manchester
vote Labour. One more thing guys.
Oh fuck off. I could imagine.
Yeah, then. I'm stealing tonight.
(54:44):
Not before me election. Election was six weeks later.
Toby Landslide. Well done.
You used your platform. Well, that's what they always
say man. Using 5400.
And 50 couples in Manchester comedy store miles off it.
(55:05):
Well, labor, one more. OK, it's good setup.
Where's the punch Labor that's so?
How's your show was being eitherLiverpool?
You love Liverpool, don't you? Too fair.
Good, Tony. They're all fucking good, man.
Like I got no problems with likethe rocking all these rooms and
(55:30):
all that sort of shit. I always find it the one thing
I'm good at, Tony, is creating anew hour every year, man.
So that's where I'm at, man. So I'm going to, I'm going to
die a little bit. I know I am.
But you know, all the growing pains because no joke is
perfectly written in the first. So that's really what's going on
up there, man. I'll I'll fucking do some tried
(55:51):
and tested, sneak a fart in there and fuck yeah see if
anybody smelt it. Have you done that one every
year for for, for years, yeah. Yeah, man, Tony, OK.
That's a lot of it. Say it.
Is man, it was the reason because it was a, it was a curse
(56:15):
and a blessing all in the same way, man.
Because like, for some reason, Idon't know if I pissed somebody
off or whatever, right? But I was on TV for like, I'm
killing it. Like I've only had one bad,
really bad, two bad shows that Ican remember on TV 1 was like
Mach of the week. Just didn't know what I was
(56:36):
heading into, man. Fucking vicious fucks.
Yeah. Well, what's it?
Why? Why?
Was it just because the the likeif there?
Was that when Frankie Boyle was on that one?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the the back in the day.
I don't know what it is now and I haven't done one since.
Do you know what I mean? But but it, it wasn't that they
were sharing bring the platform with you.
(56:57):
Do you know what I mean? It was like they want you to die
and them to look good and and they're really good at that.
And if you walk in and it's yourfirst night on there, it's it's
like, it's like fucking, they killed a child.
They killed a child in front of the audience and the audience
loved it. You know, me being so, they just
(57:18):
fucking are. They getting into you when
you're dying, are they getting into you?
What they do, what it what happens is they're they just
don't really let you talk, man. Do you know what I mean?
You have to be, if you're in there, you're in a fight.
But I just didn't realize it at the time.
Do you know what I mean? So so that one.
And then I remember Lee Mack. There was this Lee Mack one, but
(57:40):
that was it. Every other show was Ripper,
right? And then all of a sudden the
last show we did was Your Liver Pudley and John Bishop show,
which I made. I had a good time fucking
laughing with John, whatever. But that was the last show I
did, man. And like I always wanted.
Well, I remember. That TV show, Yeah, Yeah.
(58:01):
On Sky One, Yeah, it. Was with what the what the Oh,
the chick Flo flowing the machine or Lawrence in the
machine was on that night, man, and but that was the last show.
And then me and Trude, we were like, oh, what?
What we're waiting for. Like next show?
(58:22):
What's happened? And then it just didn't come.
But we're I was like, OK, well, we if it's not coming, I've
still got this touring side thatlots of people are showing up
to. So I thought, OK, well, we'll
just do another show, write another show, write another
show, write another show and this and that.
That was the coolest thing that could have happened to me,
(58:46):
Jamie, because now I'm so good at writing an hour, it doesn't
scare me anymore. Like it it, it's not even a
phase in in my head like I just I was go out and do it.
I was surprised how quick this new one will come for me because
I finished the tone of all. I'll never think of another
joke, ever. Again, I had 20. 20 yeah.
(59:07):
And then I had a week here with new material nights.
Yeah. And now 20.
By the end of the week, I thought, oh, that's the core of
a show. Yeah, of course it is, dude.
And you're lit again. Go back-to-back in the day
versus now for when I was doing it, it was unheard of, man.
Like it really was unheard of because because you could still
(59:27):
live off your 20 minutes at all these other places, you know,
John was whatever. You could still go for it.
Now we're, we're in like contenthell, man, Content.
Fucking hell. You put it out there, it's done.
You've got to go and write something else.
Of course you do, man. You can't.
And I remember. Do you know how.
(59:47):
Okay, tell you a story about my buddy Russell Peters.
Do you know Russell Peters? Right?
Biggest famous guy, you know howhe got famous?
Yeah, like, OK, so the YouTube just shown up Tony and we were
all with yak yaks and listen, man, I I've known all these
dudes from there, man. And YouTube just showed up and
(01:00:08):
we did the there's this thing called comedy now and it's your
big comedy special in Canada, OK.
And we were all stared to put that on YouTube.
Do you know what I mean? Just for the fear of it,
whatever. But Russell Peters was the first
one that put that thing on YouTube, and he went.
(01:00:33):
He was. He's the same way as they say.
Tom Green is the podcast original.
Yeah. I think Russell Peters is the
first YouTube special comedian. Special comedian.
Easy. Because he went all of a sudden
he just that that was the first time anybody had seen anything
go global. I was too serious for this book.
(01:00:57):
Yeah. OK, Go ahead.
And he took a chat, he took a just took a chance.
But I just go fucking up last. Night him and Smeal was the
other guy that did it like they were agents.
There was like Ed and and May and oh, the the really cool guy.
I can't even remember, but yeah,so they they put it out there,
but, and even as it hit, it tookyears for the rest of us to
(01:01:22):
realise that it hit, man. Do you know what I mean?
But like for him, it changed hiswhole life.
Tom Green thing, Joe Rogan's on Tom Green show, like back in the
day at 2005 or something. Yeah.
And Joe was like, fuck, you know, this is great.
You just make your own show. This is amazing.
There's loads of money in this. And they're like, laugh it off.
(01:01:44):
Now I'm here with Tony. Is there?
Any place you drive people is daddy place.
No, no, you're my people. You're my family when you.
When you talk about my family, my family is comedians.
My family is is comics. All of them all.
(01:02:07):
Even the fucking goofy, fucking shitty little comedian I would
see as a little brother that'll beat the shit out of him.
But but I can beat the shit out of him.
But you can't. You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, punters. You stay away from him.
He's trying his best in the green room.
(01:02:28):
What? You dirty piece of shit?
Call that comedy. What the fuck?
You're embarrassed and I said. Can't wait to get out of the
Don't Swear. Again, Yeah, right.
If you like episodes like this, which I'm sure you did, please
silence to our patron and 3 LB amonth.
You Baker's rich. Yeah.
(01:02:48):
Go and see Tom on top. I need to, I told him now.
Yeah, OK, yeah, listen, I'm going to do that.
I'm really bad at it, but I'm getting better at it because I'm
realising this. Back to the Jonathan Ross thing
before I give my shout out, man,like, like these are the new,
this is the new talk show circuit.
Jonathan Ross and all of them. What I was trying to say before
(01:03:10):
is they got big stars on there to keep Jonathan Ross a star.
Do you know what I mean? That's why, that's why I hate it
now. That's why you're just propping
this guy up. But for us, the new talk show
circuit is whatever podcast you listen to.
So that's why I love you guys, number one, man, and that's why
(01:03:30):
I'm not getting my own podcast. I'm just going to be the best
guest on everybody else fucking.Podcast.
Middle weight champion of the. World so on Current TV.
One of the fire stand up site you have to go and see.
Godfather of comedy, maybe. We've spoke about you.
Lots of sad. And everyone else has.
Everyone else has as well. It's not just as you say.
(01:03:51):
Yeah, go and ask anyone. He's the he's the fucking man.
So. Go see.
Tom shows he's fantastic. Tomstay.com.
Tomstaystay.stay.com, Instagram,Twitter slash whatever, only
fans slash. Or if you're near a beach in
Canada and you're homeless, they'll probably suck you off
(01:04:14):
and so who knows, let's grab. Some seed thank.
You very much for coming on mateand you're welcome back anytime
you're. Just like Tony, Jamie, you know
I love you. Guys, thanks for listening to
see you guys soon. Cheers.
Bye.
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(01:38):
I don't know. I don't know if the some clubs
will pull in people, but people just want to go and see people.
You know what I mean? You.
Told for quite a while though. I've been torn for yes fucking
16 years, yeah. Never got any bigger, Jamie.
Word of mouth is dead. You like, you like middle weight
(02:00):
champion, You like pound for pound.
Kings, yeah, it's. A nice place to me.
I think it's OK, man. We.
Were because you still keep the status of like every comic loves
you do what I mean, if you get too big, every comic kind of
turns nose up then, don't they? Yeah, well, let's, let's fucking
hammer all this shit out. Yeah, this one.
I love that one. I don't know.
(02:22):
Yeah, we've got sight. We'll keep hiding, OK?
We are, man Tom State's part. Cool.
Yes, it's the first time here. Tom State's first time.
Welcome back to the episode of Hot Water Stream with a legend
on a say on a say. It's our friend as well.
I think some podcasts in green rooms let me, yeah.
Fucking honour my virginity is about.
(02:44):
You're going to crack my cherry ass here, I'll tell you the
story. I'll tell you the story time
that I was very proud of you. I said this on the podcast The
Last Podcast. I'd just come back to stand up
at 10 years off. I was managing nightclubs in
Liverpool and stuff. OK, I just come back to Hot
Water and I started doing Tony Cattle and Friends.
It's full every, every time. It's fucking made-up.
(03:06):
Ran out of friends after the first one.
You know what? I mean, sat back at the yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. Gets a call and it was yourself
and you were like hey man I can just be your friend for the
night jump on I was like yes youremember you come on I.
Do remember that man. Yeah, fantastic.
Totally, man, because we were, we were like I was in, we were
(03:27):
in the beginning of the whole hot water phenomena.
We were, we like it. Fuck, if I would have put some
money into this shit. Like I was, you know what the
original hot water was is like Bitcoin.
Yeah. Now we're.
Talking this massive. Thing I did, I did my
inheritance on Spiky Mike. Come on.
Damn cool on Apple, Rodney. Fucking I think, I think people
(03:57):
like us are just destined to miss that awesome wave man, for
whatever reason. But you know what?
Like you said, middle weight champion of the.
World middle weight champagne. Half a pop is the best.
Fucking 22 to 300 seaters. I'm the king, man.
Yeah, but they're the cool roomsto play the but stand in that.
You OK? You you know what we say that we
(04:19):
say they are the cool rooms to play for, for like, I don't
know, for for intimacy. And if you're a if you're a
punter, you know what I mean? That's that's we everybody wants
to say that, you know, we saw fucking the guy when it was 200
seat theaters and then you go tolike Paul Smith level and all of
a sudden it it. But but let's come on, man
(04:41):
fucking I'm going to die penniless and homeless.
You know what I mean? Middle weight, who was actually
there's probably a lot of middleweight boxers that are probably
bumming like that's the problem with middle weight.
Some of them, some of them will get through.
Most of the most of. The you used to do what?
(05:05):
Yeah. Yeah, it's like comic say if you
don't want to play arenas and stuff because of the, you know,
but then I got a bit, I got whatabout the money?
Yeah, Yeah. I'm not talking about playing.
Well, you know what they call it, right?
Like fucking when Bill Bailey and all those guys went out,
they didn't call it an arena tour.
They call it the bank run, man. Yeah, that's the like to them,
(05:25):
you know, I, I don't want to give them any disservice because
they're all fucking great or whatever, but you know, of
course they want to play the 500seat, but come on, man, Fucking.
Everybody wants to go. Play an arena and I played arena
once Tony one time. It was for it was when Addison
was still alive and it was for the kids hospital or whatever
(05:50):
the fuck, whatever charity closeto my heart.
You know, they all the children.Anytime you raise money for
Children, it makes me feel fuck.And then, yeah, it was at the O2
Arena, man. And yeah, we went on there with,
(06:12):
I think there was Kevin Bridges.It was when Russell Brand was
still fucking. Legal.
Taping chicks? No, I don't know.
Allegedly, allegedly, boy found Christ, whatever.
You know, allegedly all that stuff.
I didn't put any thought into it.
(06:32):
Yeah, we don't know. But you know, does it?
Does social media lie? I don't think.
So I think find all that stuff. I think, I think, I think all
that shit. But anyways, he was standing
there and I, he could have, I think he could have banged my
wife at that time because yeah, yeah, Because me and him were
(06:53):
that he's so tall and he smelledso good.
I wanted to suck his Dick. Danny.
Yeah. I wanted him to pull my hair and
later, 10 years down the road, go.
I didn't give him any consent. Yeah, yeah, I don't.
I'm the opposite of Danny. It's so far.
Is it? Because obviously it's he's
wrong and if he's that's happened, but then you don't
know if it's just people just doit because the fame and stuff.
(07:15):
That's just come. Across certain sketches.
Excuse man, I think as soon as you turn to God like what are
you I doing pal? I reckon when I'm playing.
Yo-yo, who else is, I reckon, a great fist?
Ned Flanders. Ned Flanders completely too
nice. He is too nice.
He's diddly diddling kids, but he is diddly diddly kids.
(07:40):
As soon as I get Christian, it'sover.
Yeah, well, it is, isn't it, Jeremy?
Every, every, every dude in jailfinds God, man, You know what I
mean? Maybe Russell, Brad, just even
he found God before he got. So he's going to have all those
Christian people, just just raw,raw on them.
(08:02):
Thank you for coming to our sideof you know.
That's the original Dreaming Gang.
Yeah, church course. Actually, Jimmy had never
thought of that. Case.
It is man, so he probably found his people that he wants.
To yeah, blood that down. I love, I love hanging out with
(08:24):
you too, because we get us rightinto like we're liking a
hypersonic comedy missile. Saving into the Russell Brand
savings are so much confidence with yeah, you don't know a
fucking thing. That's hilarious.
You have to have a break off thebooze then, Tom.
Yeah. Just for, yeah, for a little bit
(08:46):
for. What's a little bit to you?
Though, well, a little bit. It's like a month.
Man, like a month. Yeah, it's a long time.
Is it man? I haven't.
Been past six days for about 3 years.
What? Since we can't get past day 6.
Why dude? Because we do this every Friday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We do the live show every Friday, I think that's why.
OK, what? You got a drink on the shows and
(09:07):
all that shit. Don't have to, but it makes it
better. It makes it easier the death,
it's easier it. Loosens you up, man.
It gives you gives you a little bit that even if you're then
again, it should be natural now.If you're not, if you're not
funny and you're dying, it makesyou fills that void, doesn't it?
Oh, yeah, fucking hey, listen, man, I I love booze.
I'm fucking, I've used it as a lubricant many times.
Only fucking only time I'm nervous.
(09:28):
Like, pound back two or three and I'm the talk.
I'm no man, I'm not stripping sober.
That's that's just a performance.
That's a performance wall I willnot get past.
That is like a bound Jeff set myself.
I'll never strip sober. Why is that?
Well, I saw. Well, well, I saw the.
Oh. You saw the first time I got
(09:49):
fucked by the. Mic Sam.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, honestly, Jamie, the
debut, that was my like, I can'tremember.
I've seen you perform, Tony, butI don't think I'd seen you until
the Murders row. Yeah.
Where were we? We were in Chester, Manchester
and that was mind blowing to me because that was like I was
(10:14):
standing there going Oh my God, like, but have you ever seen?
Anything like that? I well, I've seen people take
the I I've seen. Have you ever seen anything like
that? No, no, I've never seen, I've
never seen, I've never seen a a a Mike Stan get sexually
assaulted like that. You know what I mean?
Like like that? Box I'm gonna.
(10:36):
Have to go to therapy now but but it was a great bit man.
At least you can say it's original, huh?
At. Least you can say it's original.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's original.
Maybe five years. All these open spots will be
fucking. Yeah, stuff.
Imagine, imagine one day you, you sit there and you're
watching somebody and go. He stole my fucking sexual
(10:57):
insults, you know, like that. All of a sudden what you do, it
becomes a hack. All of a sudden, everybody's
everyone rocking. It everyone just trying to go
further, shoving it right over everyone.
Yeah, so we do a bit of the liveshows because last week if we
just get bored and we just go fuck it, I'm just going to like
like dance to a stag do or something.
Right, Right, right. So it's what is the?
(11:18):
Material like working. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Scotch eggs all down him. Yeah, not me.
No way you've. Still been there.
Although I think if I saw you do, it would be like one of the
seven wonders of the world. That would have been amazing,
Tony. Something nobody's seen yet.
(11:39):
Jamie gets Jamie got a top off and he was doing some, you know,
eating some food off off an audience member and the whole
crowd was chatting get taken offTony to me.
Oh, really? I was.
I was like, that would peer pressure.
I was thinking, no, like I used to wear like T-shirts and pools,
you know what I mean? I'm not taking my top off and
it's going to be online forever.Is that a?
(12:00):
Is that a I'm? Like self-conscious about about
it, but I am definitely online. OK.
You know, being, being. Yeah, we've.
Been topless together? OK.
Right off. Camera, I went right How?
Much the hotel under the. Hotel room I went.
Around this watch the boxing mods and I sent them outside, he
answered. He answered the door in just a
(12:23):
towel. What you doing last year?
Oh, sorry, I was. I was just getting out the
shower. And then the red boy comes from
behind. Yeah, just getting out the
shower. 2 doors under his legs. This.
Is what I can't stop drinking. Oh, that's great, Tony, but
(12:44):
you're like you're, you're not self-conscious or.
Anything like that, obviously I lost because yourself and stuff.
What I mean, just being, just being topless online, I'd just
be like, oh, that's just too far.
But isn't that like only fans? Isn't that like fucking you're?
Not getting paid enough, you know what I mean?
You haven't fucking signed up for it yet though, Tony, Have
you Tony? Fans.
Yeah. Man, Tony fans.
Tony fans, dude, dude, I like that actually and.
(13:08):
I'll tell. You, dude, I bet you, I bet you.
This is how weird the fucking world's got.
OK? You know, it used to be like, we
love Brad Pitt, you know what I mean?
But now there's genres of everything, don't he?
What? Genre would I be talking about?
Well, you'd be fucking. You'd be.
Do you want to see fucking giant?
Fuck this giants like you. What would you be?
(13:32):
I just woke up. Well, you're OK, to be honest.
You'd, you'd rank up in fetish territory.
Yeah, yeah, you'd totally be in fetish territory.
Like yeah, fucking there might be people out there that love
fucking big ass fucking boy. I like to think that you're
because people like you, becauseyou're not arse and stuff and
obviously you're on the large side.
(13:54):
I think people would be interested if you're getting
sucked off, but you're interested in your ghetto.
Yeah, I mean. Like, Oh yeah, you got to do
something for sure. You can't just.
Stop that. Don't make me come and meet me,
Gato. Yeah, I want to say Gato, it's
cake. Yeah, watch with all the French
(14:18):
words. I'm from Canada, but I don't
like it there either. Yeah, man.
Yeah, for sure man. You totally fucking get the.
Pays. It pays, doesn't it?
You what I mean? Dude, I don't know, I know it
pays for the girls. Would you agree with that?
Like. It pays for some girls.
(14:38):
Yeah, for some. So the 1% mega rich, but there's
somewhere they've got like 8 subscribers, 4 family members
and three colleagues. So I mean.
Right. OK, OK, see this is where I've
not adventured into only fans. Yeah, yeah, there's some.
There's some with like criminal.If I was single, I might.
(15:00):
If I was single, I would. I'd be really.
Would you be? Would you like to pee?
Pee on the curtains off. Yeah, man, but back in the day,
man, fucking you could go into the movie theatres, please.
You know, fucking like proper like porno theaters.
You actually even have those anymore.
They don't have porno theaters. No, no, no did.
You did you go to 1 back in the day?
(15:21):
Yeah, of course you did, man. They had little booths and
everything. Do you ever?
I don't fuck. Am I that old to the point where
you can walk into a booth, you put like fucking a couple
quarters in and or whatever and then like a little screen, you
fucking watch a private beer? Yeah.
It's not like, not like the. Showcase.
(15:42):
Yeah, yeah, we like you're some popcorn.
No, no, not like, hey, is that Pee Wee Herman over there?
I'm just sitting and eat me ghetto.
Well, any cinemas upon cinema ifyou're brave enough, Yeah, go go
and watch Frozen and do it. Frozen.
(16:04):
Let it go. I won't let go of anything.
Let it. Go I want to do this.
Hold in. Hold in.
That's amazing. Yeah, I don't.
Fuck, I don't know. But that's that's for the,
(16:25):
that's for the thing, isn't it? What have you been?
Yeah. You've still got like the sex
shows and that, like the sex shows and stuff like that.
I'm yeah, yeah, just for Taurus,isn't?
It like, are we talking about Amsterdam and all that?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know, guy, like, come on, like fucking.
Everything's just blown up now, hasn't it?
Any any type of performance, sex, comedy, whatever.
(16:49):
You can I'll, I'll pick up my phone and it'll it'll just be
there, wouldn't it? Now you know.
What it means like it's so. Easy to make like it.
It feels like it's easy to make money on that phone now if you
if you got the ball. Imagine like if I was.
I just wish I was smart man. I wished I was too.
Jamie trust you making listen between the three of us fucking,
(17:10):
we're not solving any problems. So like proper.
Proper. We're not solutions guys.
We're not. Solutions.
Problems. Sure.
We're not problems. We'll create problems problems.
Yeah, we want more problems wanking in Disney films.
There's a problem. This is we'll solve that case.
(17:32):
I don't have a PhD. What am I not?
A film man. Listen, I'm not the howl guy.
I'm not the howl guy. I'm the big idea, dude.
You're the Steve Jobs jerking off.
I'm going to talk to some Chinese students, so make my
wanking frozen dream come true. That's amazing games.
(17:57):
Yeah, dude, it's such. I don't know.
How old are you guys? I can't.
Even remember that. Right and you're in your 333333
and I'm 55 man, so that's like fucking you guys are like
you're. Better than I don't.
Know how I did it, Tony? I don't know how I did it.
I'm fucking I was the hardest corn partier right up until.
(18:22):
Was you? Did you double on everything
talk? Like everything.
Yeah, I love because comedy wasn't a business back then.
It was like, I'm talking like anold guy back in the day.
No, but it wasn't, it wasn't like I never started comedy
knowing that there was, you know, patrons and and you know
(18:42):
what I mean? When I started, it was like just
even getting on stage, it was like, you know, I mean phone
calls, you'd call at 3:00 and hopefully be like like some
radio show where you're the in the 12th calls.
Then you'd get on stage and maybe make a little bit of
money. And the best you could do back
(19:03):
then would be, you know, maybe you could be a big stand up, but
you're really shooting for like sitcoms and all that sort of
stuff, you know. But you guys are starting in the
like this, this in itself, man, I could only imagine if we had
this. I mean, me and a guy named
Russell Roy started something like this way back when.
(19:25):
But the the problem was the Internet wasn't good enough for
it. So it was like, and nobody was
really on it to watch it, but itwas fun.
We and all we did was same as you guys just got fucking
hammered. That fucking guest on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But people like to see that man
that that's they're friends. Yeah, yeah.
I, I had that image when, when Istarted stand up 'cause I'd only
(19:46):
ever seen it on like DVD's and stuff.
And I had, I had this really romanticized view.
July. It's gonna be like leather
jacket, you know, like just boozing and waking up and that.
Then I went to the first open mic and it's just five fat Goths
crying. Yeah, I mean weird.
Just fucking where it was. This I was gonna be like cool
rock'n'roll sort of things. Mama's the mama's the opposite.
(20:08):
Because I didn't. I don't.
I don't really watch, don't stand up.
I don't like it, really. OK.
I just love doing it. Right, right, right.
It's. The performance, the performance
kind of thing. I just got a bug straight away.
OK, so yeah, so you don't like watching it, man?
I like watching. I like watching like I.
Watch it live. I like watch it live in comedy
clubs and stuff. I know what I would.
Do but I'm not really I'm not a massive fan I.
Don't watch a special though. That's interesting man, because
(20:30):
I'll watch them all man. I like because the only yeah,
there's cunts like you coming behind ready to Take Me Out.
Do you know what I mean? Like because that that's also a
place where I'm from. I'm always from like, like
fucking. We used to call it head hunting.
I don't know if you're, if you've ever heard that.
(20:50):
Yeah, yeah, like fucking. But back in the day, right.
So you were, you were either opener middle or headliner,
right. And to get to that headliner
spot, you had to make sure that that headliner could not follow
you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean? So I have that instinctual thing
there, but I used to be the one punching the headliner out.
(21:11):
Now I'm at the headliner side and I'm watching you cunts
coming and you guys are killers.Well, This is why I'm running
out of things, you know what I mean?
Like because I'm not sorry. This is what I do then.
So I'm on like a Thursday and it's like I was like a young
whippersnapper's first middle ona first day when Oh yeah, just
(21:35):
remembered, you know, Lastly, the same section on Wednesday
tried have a good one. Do you like fucking like a box?
Swear, yeah, I said y'all swear it has open his mums and he
can't swear that's. So cold, man.
Fucking every match. Jamie's taking this like they're
(21:58):
about to go head to head. Hey, like, I'm like the refs,
all right? No below the belt.
No, no, no head shots. Dogging dog in this world.
Have a good comedy show. And what I'm.
Doing I love to swear. Don't swear.
I'm taking a different approach where I'm looking at the
killers, the ones coming up. Yeah, and I'm befriending them.
(22:18):
Ohh, course I'm making them buy me breakfast and stuff.
And then and then hopefully, if they make you still remember
that I was. You start a joke.
I'm actually the weather. It keeps it keeps going for
breakfast and open. Spots.
Yeah, just 'cause if they make. This guy that bought your
breakfast? Tony, if they make it, then
they'll say we should be. For a week.
(22:39):
We broke bread together, you know what I mean?
Then they'll look after me. Yeah, man.
Yeah. Yeah, Tony Cow maybe buying
breakfast. Tony.
It's all gonna come out the scandal soon.
Russell Russell Brands is gonna be fucking the breakfast fucking
bullier you're. Right on news that is a big
sausage. 1010 people, 10 comics sitting behind the camera.
(23:00):
Yeah, he made me buying breakfast too.
You're in a court case, yeah. Yeah, those figures look like
sausages too. Yeah.
He did he have breakfast buying overs.
We had our we had our free cook offs.
Just olive oil. 42 miles of HP was Richard.
(23:24):
We just get arrested on tomorrownight.
This lunch got kind of freaky, man.
He's saving his phone as hospital.
Dude that's amazing. So you don't watch any of them
then? You don't care about nothing
coming up. Fuck me.
Yeah. Just.
I just, I just love doing it allme state there's nothing better
(23:45):
than smashing a room with a witha crowd full of strangers.
Yeah, that feeling, get that feeling get off of me.
It's just it's better than any drug.
And I double truck with drugs and there's no better feeling.
Dabble with drugs, Tony. Dabble.
I think you'd do more than dabble.
Yeah, if I looked in your phone I can find a lot of dabble.
If you're gonna see me pocket, then I was gonna shoot the
(24:05):
cameras off, isn't? It like he dabbled in breakfast
with breakfast. Damn, I like, I like to.
I never dabbled in drugs, I always went full in.
Right, OK, I like to dance with the devil.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, the devil's getting
sick of, you know, You know whatI mean?
(24:26):
Like I'm knocking on the devils and I'm like, Sam's dancing.
He's like Tory. No, you know what I mean.
Yeah, yeah, the devil's turned me into an old man drunk.
That's the problem, man. Already.
Yeah. Oh, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've got.
But then again, I don't know what I don't know, like what the
fucking, what The thing is now, 'cause like I used to be able to
go for like 2-3 days, you know what I mean?
(24:46):
Like fucking boom, boom, boom. And then we're all good.
And then and then it's went to two days and the one day and
then it's like fucking you be cut.
You're going really good. Like I just don't know when it
happens. But then you're just this guy.
That's how I get. And so he gets that dumb.
(25:07):
I hate that dumb. I've always been that like.
Really. So you go.
Well, me and you could hang out then, James, I go because.
I could puppet. Do you want to know I always
start every party when I hang out with people now going I will
not be apologizing to you tomorrow.
I will not be apologize. You want to party, I'll party
with you, but I know I'm going to get fucked up.
(25:28):
I'm going to like, and there's going to be a point that I
because unlike Robin Williams, God bless his heart, I do like
getting blackout drunk. Yeah, I love it.
I like. That's what I'm drinking for.
That's what I used to do. I used to drink, wake up in bed.
I've done. It I wonder what happened.
(25:48):
And then try and retrace your steps and.
I've never blocked those ever. I just, I could just drink like
a horse mate. I'm fucking fucking just.
Like. That Friday I did finger.
Yeah. Just roll with you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got on the train home and woke
up in my brother's best because I got on the train it sat off in
10 minutes. So I thought foot this, I need
(26:09):
more booze. So I went to the shop.
Train went. You got off the train.
Yeah, I got off the train. I was on the train on, woke up
in my brother's bed and I just drank like 8 cans in Piccadilly
station eating a pork pie watching Married at First Sight
Australia. Right on and off, you better.
Fucking whale of a time. I just want to know, what if you
(26:33):
don't know what heaven is that just sounded like.
That Adrian's a bastard. Yeah, dude, you're you're in the
same category. Yeah, man, but I don't go beer
anymore. Like I say, I'm I'm more of
whiskey, fucking coke, whiskey coke and and either vape weed or
real weed. One of the two man and I'm just.
(26:55):
No, I I love, I love the the class age me and I'm just
chatting shit to people. Yeah, I'm meeting new people.
I'm just fucking and, you know, just selling tails.
You what? I mean, yeah.
Movie. Yeah, because not all of us are
going to be fucking heroes, you know what I mean?
Like, a lot of us are just getting by every day, man.
And that's like, like you hear about these 1% and keep it
(27:18):
classy and all that down here inthe pit.
That's. What?
It's me, man, because I look, I was raised like my family.
I don't know what your family was like man, but my family were
all hardcore Alcoholics motherfuckers, but not they
weren't like. Bad.
No, no, no. None of them were fucking
horrible, do you know what I mean?
(27:38):
They were, they were fun as fuck, but they got like my
uncle, my Uncle Tom when he died, OK, Like he found out he
got cancer and all that shit. You know what he did?
He fucking he, he sold his houseto a friend of his, said give me
the money now. And when I die, you can have
this fucking house. He took that money, bought
(27:59):
fucking shit loads of drugs, shit load of booze, fucking
everybody he ever knew in his whole life.
He said the doors open, just come in and fucking party.
So man, we partied for like 6 months man like crazy.
And, and Tom, and you got to understand my uncle Tommy was
(28:21):
also the first Breaking Bad guy.Like he used to make meth in his
bathtub and, and, and he he wentto jail for it, which was I can
tell all these stories, man. He was one of my favoritest
uncles, man. My, my, I think my cousin Norm
has his police report when he got pulled over drunk, but they
(28:43):
were watching his fucking house.They're watching his house so
they couldn't arrest him, but he's so hammered that he fell
out of the car when the fucking cops pulled him over.
And they were like, fucking call.
And then they said you can't arrest this guy because we're
watching his fucking house if you arrest him.
So there's this whole report. And if I could get it, that's a
(29:05):
good stop. It would be.
Yeah. It it just it like the cops like
fumble fell out of his fucking car and they said here's your
keys. Sorry about that.
Fucked up, man. Yeah, but that's like there's, I
(29:26):
got so many of those from my childhood, you know what I mean?
I think a lot of people, not, not the people.
Luckily enough, we've built an audience over three years where
these people like us and you know, they have their struggles
and stuff like that. We get nice messages of
obviously listening to us makes their lives feel better, which
is nice and that's what we choose to do.
But there's people out there obviously who will judge people
(29:46):
like that, like your uncle ourselves, who like to party.
And that's if whatever you want to do in life, that's fine.
But it's our fucking life in it.Yeah, it is.
I like to party. No, no, like and yeah, even just
I think, I think when you know, you're not going to be a
trillionaire rich guy or whatever, you're here for a good
(30:07):
time, not a long time. You know, that's, that's been my
whole fucking ethos for as long as I can remember.
Greek word, huh? Greek word.
Fuck the French. The French.
(30:36):
Nobody even knows where that onebased.
Shut the fuck up in French, by the way, if you really wanted.
So the I think I I want to remember how they said Femtaga
or something like that. It was fucking.
But to me it means nothing but time to go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's of course, man.
That's, that's, that's what they, that's what people do.
(30:58):
Most of the people I know are like to go out on Friday, they
work for the fucking ass off. And then they go out Friday,
Saturday and fucking kick it back on Sunday and do it all
over again, man. And that's their existence.
And it's great, man, cause 'cause the one thing about being
a comic, 'cause you get pretty lonely out there, man.
(31:18):
At least these guys got family, friends, all of that shit, yeah,
that they've worked with. Like everybody goes just your
work buddy. And I'm always like, yeah,
that's my fucking work buddy. I've been with this cunt for
fucking, you know, I've known this guy for 13 fucking years,
man. We go out every set whatever and
buy some. All my work friends, we'd we'd
get together by blow. Of course we did what we did
(31:44):
with her paycheck. What was they going to spend it
on? Rent.
I'm not wasting, I'm not wastingmy blow money on rent, Yeah.
That's ridiculous man. Fucking this is for blow
gambling maybe? Rent will give you confidence.
Yeah, I never spent the rent. I wanted to start a band.
(32:07):
Yeah, dude, it's so. Yeah, there was.
Those were the. Good, so you know, just just
thinking back and I'll reminiscent made so many fucking
plans. Coked up, you know?
Oh man, I'm in full. You feel like the.
Best, don't you? Like, we're going to do this.
We're going to do that, Yeah. Next day.
Just like we'll do Fuck. All everybody has that story,
man. We're going to get together and
(32:28):
have dinner and I'll make spaghetti this time.
I. Remember Me and my friend came
up with a Courier service idea of like really specific, I can't
remember what it was like. Maybe like storage right now.
We'll we'll do like that when I was 19.
We're both 35 now. Neither of us can drive still.
What's that? What?
What? When we was 19 we got coked up
(32:50):
and we really set out a plan to start our own Courier business,
right? You're like picking stuff off,
dropping things off 35 and neither of us can still drive.
No, nothing. Nothing.
Not happening, man. Well, curious.
But if you guys been friends a long time then.
No, no, no, no. Three years, 3 1/2 years.
Okay, four years maybe. You see But the thing with me
(33:11):
was I didn't mind the line. I mean now and then but I could
only get 2 lines up man so it better be good or or I'd fucking
you know get the Sudafed and allthat if I was really trying hard
man. I was you always block up
fucking. Horrible dude.
Like if we did one right now, fuck, I wouldn't be able to do
the show in an hour. Not no, I would, but I'd be
(33:32):
like. Yeah.
Like that, my, my favorite drug was always the psychedelics
though. Like I loved the psychedelics
when I was when we were in partying, when I was in 20s,
thirties and all that. Sort of oh dude, to go to a
fucking club. Like everybody makes a mistake
here. Kids.
I'm going to tell you how to do acids.
(33:54):
You never drop it before you leave the house, man.
Like you never drop it before you.
You drop it. You get into that club, you have
like two or three. Chill.
Fucking drinks and then you fucking pop it.
You will have the unless. Unless you're one of those guys
that don't have the mind for it.Yeah.
All of a sudden I've just steered you into man.
(34:16):
That guy ain't coming back, man.Like he, he thought too hard.
He lost himself. Troubled.
And if you troubled, you can't, you can't have something that.
That's exactly. The weirdos, and it's the
weirdos when you haven't just like they go more weird like.
Yeah, yeah, you gotta be able toand I guess it's but everything.
(34:37):
Would you say this? Everybody knows their drug.
Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean?
Like, like they've they've done the smorgasbords of all the
drugs and all that sort of stuffand everybody knows the ones
that they like and all that sortof stuff.
Like back in Vancouver, we have this place called Rec Beach.
I don't know if you, but it's a nude beach, man.
And and fucking we used to go there all Tony, you would have
(35:01):
loved it. You would have been able to just
be. There were a lot of good
T-shirts. I just don't be old, yeah.
Winnie the Pooh. Baby, like put it in the water,
put in the water, dude, fucking we.
I'll never forget the one we went down there.
(35:24):
It was me and my buddy Dave Brooks, and we were like, this
is a there's an old friend that was there.
We went down there and this was I think it was maybe the third
time I'd ever dropped acid before.
But we got down there and man, we were having the greatest
time. Everybody was beautiful looking,
everybody was naked. Everybody's fucking everybody.
(35:47):
I'm like, God, you know. And then the the the worst is is
that the fire was going fucking music.
I can remember. And then we woke up and and
that's when we realized we've just partied with homeless
people. Like man, we say.
(36:09):
There's a homeless. Fucking just a bunch of homeless
motherfuckers and we were like getting them all fucked up.
Man. Because it started, because you
know what happened? It started in the afternoon,
right? It starts in the afternoon.
You got really good. It goes 10 and 14 hours, man.
(36:31):
And so it started in the afternoon.
And by 1:00 all the people had left, but we hadn't noticed.
And then the fucking homeless dude showed up and fuck me, man,
we Dave couldn't. We're going to have to get
ourselves checked out fucking first thing walking up all those
(36:52):
stairs to the clinic. Why did you why did you say that
the advice about not taking it was that was that because of
that, that story of not taking acid before you leave the house?
Yeah, no, you've. Had some bad tips off the acid.
To be I've never had a bad trip off.
(37:12):
Never ever, ever. Because once you do it, the
first time we did it. Oh God, I haven't told any of
these. The first time we did it was
with my best friend at the time,Jason Natras, and I was just
starting comedy, man. I was just and he goes, hey,
Tom, I got some acid and it I'lltell you another story, but I
was really into trying everything at this time.
(37:34):
Oh, acid, right. That sounds cool.
Let's fucking do that. Let's walk some joints.
So we're sitting there, we're having we don't know what the
fuck acid is yet, right? So we drop 2, we drop one hit
and we do the mistake everybody fucking makes goes away from not
working. Fucking it's fucking come on,
man. This is this is acid, man.
I can do another one. And then I go, listen, Jay, I'm
(37:54):
just going to head over the I just got to go take a piss in
the toilet. I didn't come out of that toilet
for like fucking three hours. Man.
Because it was the first time I've ever seen hallucinations
and stuff like like the very, very first time I'd seen like,
like the tiles do all the, you know what I mean?
(38:18):
And then you're looking at your face and you could see the veins
in your hands and all that. It was like, Oh my God, I was, I
loved it. I was like, fucking wow, man.
And then and then I walked out and Jason was like, is this
happening to you too? And I'm like, oh, it's
happening, man. I'm going.
(38:38):
And then we go, well, we got to go out and walk around.
We got to go check this shit out, man.
So we walk and that's when the Ifucking first paranoia hit and
it's like, are you going in? We want to go in the 711 And I
couldn't go in. I was like, this is the fucking
doing my head in too much. So what I decided to do is I'm
just going to hide in the bushes.
So hide in the bushes, Jake. There's a guy in the Bush.
(39:07):
Jamaica in the shop. Oh my God.
I know I look weird, I'm just hiding these.
Bushes. So long.
It was so cool. Jason.
Yeah, that was so funny. He was one of my best friends
(39:28):
you got so many best friends in your life, don't you man?
You know what I mean so many best friends that you've done
some really cool things with youknow what I mean you got your 18
year old best friend you got your 20 year old best friend you
got your 30 year old best friendand then you get to 50 and then
you got no friends tired of people doing all your drugs
(39:49):
we've. All moved on.
Yeah, man. Do you like to sing some more?
You know all of course. I'm all good right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good rightnow.
Like I say, fucking I got a. How was your show was over went
to America then stuff like that,I.
Didn't go there. I don't do shows though.
Do shows go for just a little holiday and.
I just go for I go to see my mumand my brothers and all that
(40:13):
stuff because because I, I got no family over here except for
my wife and kids. If you want, call those fuck
families. They don't love me
unconditionally. My mom does.
These guys, they're like, if I died, they'd be like life will
(40:33):
go on. My mom, my mom would be in,
she'd be wailing like like in this Islamic, you know, I just
lose it. But that's, that's, that's my
mum, man, you know? But yeah, I go back there and I.
Bet your daughter. I bet your daughter as well
understand. I bet your daughter.
(40:56):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But.
I was going to be toy show thereYeah yeah, yeah, I got there and
it was like Tony Carroll sold out stand Yeah you Tony Carroll
yeah yeah, he's he's a good landlord.
I thought he's going to go. Yeah, he's used to tell.
That's a very sad that. Happened when he opened for my
show a couple of weeks ago. So I was hoping I did a work in
(41:20):
progress in Southampton. So the guy sent me a run through
and he went 4:00, Jamie Hutchinson, 20 minutes interval,
Jamie Hutchinson an hour. So I went, oh, it's Tony Carroll
doing the 20 minutes, and he went Who?
(41:40):
Question mark. Yeah.
I was like, you buy. You know what I've said to
Jamie? You'll know why I'm after the
show. Oh, really?
Oh yeah, Yeah, he. Knew me after the Showtime, I'll
tell you that. Your your guys's show would be
killer though, man. I can, I can totally see fucking
you guys. Just fucking getting out there
and destroying it, man, really. I think.
Maybe I should come to one of them.
(42:01):
I haven't seen you guys. Yeah, yeah.
I'll say go back out. I'm going back out on tour in.
Do you come up to Scotland then?Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I'm doing Edinburgh again.
OK, I'm going to come up and fucking.
I want to fucking check that shit out, man.
For sure dude. For sure, I enjoy, I enjoyed
that the last time, but I like Glasgow a bit more just because
I think it's because the Liverpool Glasgow, I think
Glasgow was a bit more similar pool I think you're.
(42:22):
Yeah, it is Glasgow. In Glasgow.
Yeah, I don't know, they got like the Edinburgh.
Well, the the obvious there is the the fucking class.
Yeah, that I'm Canadian and I, I, I wrap my head around the
class thing. You guys take it real serious,
(42:44):
do you know what I mean? But it's just rich and poor is
really what it is. So rich and Glasgow's poor.
But the again, I fucking I, I I like the the poor people go out
more then the rich people go outbecause they say they're rich.
Because they don't get the shit out.
The poorer people are trying to forget all the fucking shit and
(43:05):
the problems, of course, but they're just.
Free people. Treat.
More. They're just more of a laugh
them out there it. Is but that see.
Sorry, yeah. These rich crowds you like.
Yeah, but you don't understand Jeopardy.
You've never had jeopardy in your life.
We all have. That's where the humour comes
(43:26):
from. It's us trying to overcome
jeopardy. That's exactly.
That's what the humour is. It's us failing constantly to
overcome jeopardy. But if you just hop, skip and
jump over jeopardy all your life, you don't understand the
struggle, the greatness of. You don't understand that grave
the. Struggle to get.
Up that we're that we're trying to avoid because you just fly
(43:46):
over it. We're in the, you know, we're in
the undercarriage of the Titanicwhere they're all doing Irish
dancing and all. Yeah, so you just worry about if
your stakes to pink. Where the Where the fucking
boys? But there's always one that
breaks up to the soft class. Yeah, the pisses all over the
bottom. I can't wait to get in that top
chat, David. I won't get out of the bottle
(44:08):
but all these. Bones were jeopardy.
Like I've had enough struggle. Jamie's remedy.
Shut up. Who who who?
Fuck off. Take your T-shirt.
Off I'll give you 20 bucks to totally and me like I need the
(44:32):
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(45:46):
You, you nailed it, Jamie. That's but that's comedy in
general, man. That's not like comedy.
Who I want to say it was George Carlin that said it.
It's a working class art form. You know what I mean?
That's been hijacked by all these posh fucks.
You know, like, not like when you go up into the upper
(46:07):
echelon. The comedy.
There. There's none of us up there,
Michael McIntyre. The mustard jumpers, mustard
jumpers, the mustard jumpers, or.
Don't explain to me mustard fucking already.
Trust me, mustard jumpers. They were they were mustard
coloured jumper and then the actor nerd.
And they have dungarees. Yeah.
(46:29):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they've all went to Oxford.
Yeah. All those guys.
Like it's, it's just so funny that, that like the, the, you're
right. We, I, when I look at the top
people, I don't see us there anymore.
Do you know what I mean? Do you, do you like when you
watch those shows? I'm not really relating.
(46:51):
Now to a lot of them put that I think also it's the the.
Bridges maybe the exception, which is yeah, probably, yeah.
There's always going to be the exception, but if you're like,
it shouldn't be. We shouldn't be talking, it
should be. It should be the other way
around, of course, You know whatI mean?
Because because we're like the, we're the, we're the population,
man. We're we're the.
The things like with what? What especially what like The
(47:14):
Pioneers in the game at the moment?
I had them down and etcetera. And yeah, there's lots of
comics, especially Northwest is forever and even some of the
American it's it's most of the Americans as well, to be honest.
It's put it back into the comicsand now, isn't it?
Yeah, I think and it's. This here, this is what we're
talking about, this sort of stuff.
Even it's even it's club I thinkas well as is is is the support
(47:34):
and support and stuff like that.You remain, I think, of the
comedy clubs. They don't own the airwaves
anymore, man. That's what I think.
Yeah, yeah, of course. I think I've been saying this
like, you know, Jonathan Ross and all these fucks, whatever,
the Graham Nortons and that. I guess there might have been a
time when they would introduce new comics like you and Jamie,
(47:58):
you know what I mean? You'd you'd watch on Saturday
night, they'd have maybe a big star there.
Well, they did for Bridges also.Yeah, they did.
For Bridges but but you look at it now, Jamie, you look at it
now and I don't ever see Jonathan Ross.
You know what I there's? No chance I could go on.
Jonathan Ross. Or not only that, not only that
they're. Probably all my ass meeting
(48:19):
Jonathan Ross. Which?
I would die on my heart speed. I have a stinker on there we
had. We had a medium in here, OK last
week. Yeah, right.
So she's going, she's doing she's just like a little get
really good energy in here and stuff.
And we've been recording for 40 minutes.
We just had a little break and she gives a little breakdown to
(48:41):
Tony. She went.
No, you, you doubt yourself too much and you know, I see, I see.
I'm the. Guy.
I see real positivity in in yourin your humour and.
Should you just stop? Like, you know, doubting
yourself and stuff. Don't doubt yourself.
I see, I see London in your future.
I see London with, with the guy who's on now and Paul Smith is
(49:03):
on, I see you Paul Smith in London.
I went, oh, you might be openingfor him at Wembley.
She went, Oh no, not Wembley. She meant she meant some gold
shopping with Paul Smith next week.
Even the medium vacations what chance have.
(49:25):
We got it's always $1040. To be fair, she she was being
like that that nice with me and saying I was a big heart, you
know, nice guy and James go whatabout me?
And she's just go. You need to grow up.
You kept asking, kept asking forages.
Like, do you share anything withme?
He's getting homes around me. Tell her what you said about you
(49:46):
now, love. He said are you your nan's with
you right now? She's she's having a go at you
for sharing too much. So I was like oh fuck off but.
Then he's staying around, Pop off and Nan.
So I she goes, we leave and I go.
Right. Bye Nan.
Oh, sorry. Hiya.
You should. Have seen a face on me, a face
(50:10):
like that. Yeah, just kiss me now as Ghost
Minge. Can't you deal with that?
You never kissed a dead cunt before.
Call my wife. OK.
Stop it. I love you, Drude.
I love you, Drude. You know I love you.
I love you. I saw it.
I took my shot. You see it, you got to go.
(50:40):
You got. To go, that was.
Yeah, dude, that's, well, that'scomedy.
That's for you, Jamie. That's comedy.
Yeah. Because are you scared to say
anything? No.
No, I'm not really. No.
It's not anymore anyways. Not anymore.
(51:02):
Yeah, I think average security blankets of having, you know,
quite a quite a good fan base and stuff like that.
I think that does help like. Oh, the the people that like you
like. You no matter what, like me for
me. So I I'm very more comfortable,
especially if we stand up and speak about everything in stand
up. Yeah, that's good.
Speak about Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta be able to fucking let
it. It's just what you're just
(51:23):
trying to figure out what your truth.
Is yeah yeah you just like just an hour show of drugs yeah and
prostitutes and that's it reallyI.
Mean, I don't even necessarily believe what I'm saying.
It's just funny, isn't it? Yeah, man, I just, I just.
What the fuck? There's no, there's no handbook
though, isn't he? It's just no.
Because that's like I don't subscribe to the.
Theme Funny 1 Funny. Subscribe to that theme.
(51:45):
Shit fucking hated me. You know what I mean?
Like I, I've always thought, youknow, like in the old days,
right when you, you, you walk around, a joke comes into your
head, you write it down and thenyou tell it like there's no
fucking segways from one to the other and all that shit.
It's just like boom, boom, boom.And that should be your truth.
(52:09):
But now everybody's like. I take the piss out I normally.
Think there's like a like a there's a there's a way to do
it. There's a real but there's a
real but my art for. My last show it ends as a piss
sake to Edinburgh shows. Oh, there's like a fake.
Yeah, yeah, fake. A fake?
What's that word Pathos Greek. Hey, he thought, that's pathos.
(52:30):
Yeah, I have. I have faux French.
Could you get on the computer and check that word out?
He felt like I was on Joe Rogan.Hey, you don't have a computer,
Tom. And no, there's no 5G and
bunker. Yeah, so I do a piss.
In my last show I did a piss take of the old fake sad bit.
(52:52):
On this one I do something similar where I take the piss
out of like my struggle, you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's all done as a guy to
take the piss out of those people.
But then it then it goes back tothis fucking poshness.
That's the, they're the one likethey're the ones that are doing
that. They're the ones like 15.
Minute, close, sort of like special meaning and putting like
(53:13):
a proper fucking emotional bevy on it.
Yeah, it's not funny. You don't have to say, just
fucking be funny. Think about you as a fucking
punter, man. You know, like to me fuck like
again to go back back to I want to bring my gal.
I want to have my friends or whatever and I want to go out
and laugh for an hour. I don't want to have to sit
(53:37):
there and turn to him and go. I feel pretty bad for this guy.
I didn't. I didn't know her story.
I remember once I did a first day at the old Comedy Store in
Manchester, like first say 10 spot or whatever it is, and the
(53:59):
headliner went on like struggledthrough 20.
OK. I was like, oh, I thought this
guy was meant to be good. You only don't know, but you've
seen him close everywhere and you think, oh, you must be the
boy. You're struggling lad.
And then he ends and he goes ends like muted response.
It's like a 5 out of 10. No one's hating him, but it's
(54:21):
like inoffensive, yeah, see whathe did there?
He puts the mic back and goes. And one more thing Manchester
vote Labour. One more thing guys.
Oh fuck off. I could imagine.
Yeah, then. I'm stealing tonight.
(54:44):
Not before me election. Election was six weeks later.
Toby Landslide. Well done.
You used your platform. Well, that's what they always
say man. Using 5400.
And 50 couples in Manchester comedy store miles off it.
(55:05):
Well, labor, one more. OK, it's good setup.
Where's the punch Labor that's so?
How's your show was being eitherLiverpool?
You love Liverpool, don't you? Too fair.
Good, Tony. They're all fucking good, man.
Like I got no problems with likethe rocking all these rooms and
(55:30):
all that sort of shit. I always find it the one thing
I'm good at, Tony, is creating anew hour every year, man.
So that's where I'm at, man. So I'm going to, I'm going to
die a little bit. I know I am.
But you know, all the growing pains because no joke is
perfectly written in the first. So that's really what's going on
up there, man. I'll I'll fucking do some tried
(55:51):
and tested, sneak a fart in there and fuck yeah see if
anybody smelt it. Have you done that one every
year for for, for years, yeah. Yeah, man, Tony, OK.
That's a lot of it. Say it.
Is man, it was the reason because it was a, it was a curse
(56:15):
and a blessing all in the same way, man.
Because like, for some reason, Idon't know if I pissed somebody
off or whatever, right? But I was on TV for like, I'm
killing it. Like I've only had one bad,
really bad, two bad shows that Ican remember on TV 1 was like
Mach of the week. Just didn't know what I was
(56:36):
heading into, man. Fucking vicious fucks.
Yeah. Well, what's it?
Why? Why?
Was it just because the the likeif there?
Was that when Frankie Boyle was on that one?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the the back in the day.
I don't know what it is now and I haven't done one since.
Do you know what I mean? But but it, it wasn't that they
were sharing bring the platform with you.
(56:57):
Do you know what I mean? It was like they want you to die
and them to look good and and they're really good at that.
And if you walk in and it's yourfirst night on there, it's it's
like, it's like fucking, they killed a child.
They killed a child in front of the audience and the audience
loved it. You know, me being so, they just
(57:18):
fucking are. They getting into you when
you're dying, are they getting into you?
What they do, what it what happens is they're they just
don't really let you talk, man. Do you know what I mean?
You have to be, if you're in there, you're in a fight.
But I just didn't realize it at the time.
Do you know what I mean? So so that one.
And then I remember Lee Mack. There was this Lee Mack one, but
(57:40):
that was it. Every other show was Ripper,
right? And then all of a sudden the
last show we did was Your Liver Pudley and John Bishop show,
which I made. I had a good time fucking
laughing with John, whatever. But that was the last show I
did, man. And like I always wanted.
Well, I remember. That TV show, Yeah, Yeah.
(58:01):
On Sky One, Yeah, it. Was with what the what the Oh,
the chick Flo flowing the machine or Lawrence in the
machine was on that night, man, and but that was the last show.
And then me and Trude, we were like, oh, what?
What we're waiting for. Like next show?
(58:22):
What's happened? And then it just didn't come.
But we're I was like, OK, well, we if it's not coming, I've
still got this touring side thatlots of people are showing up
to. So I thought, OK, well, we'll
just do another show, write another show, write another
show, write another show and this and that.
That was the coolest thing that could have happened to me,
(58:46):
Jamie, because now I'm so good at writing an hour, it doesn't
scare me anymore. Like it it, it's not even a
phase in in my head like I just I was go out and do it.
I was surprised how quick this new one will come for me because
I finished the tone of all. I'll never think of another
joke, ever. Again, I had 20. 20 yeah.
(59:07):
And then I had a week here with new material nights.
Yeah. And now 20.
By the end of the week, I thought, oh, that's the core of
a show. Yeah, of course it is, dude.
And you're lit again. Go back-to-back in the day
versus now for when I was doing it, it was unheard of, man.
Like it really was unheard of because because you could still
(59:27):
live off your 20 minutes at all these other places, you know,
John was whatever. You could still go for it.
Now we're, we're in like contenthell, man, Content.
Fucking hell. You put it out there, it's done.
You've got to go and write something else.
Of course you do, man. You can't.
And I remember. Do you know how.
(59:47):
Okay, tell you a story about my buddy Russell Peters.
Do you know Russell Peters? Right?
Biggest famous guy, you know howhe got famous?
Yeah, like, OK, so the YouTube just shown up Tony and we were
all with yak yaks and listen, man, I I've known all these
dudes from there, man. And YouTube just showed up and
(01:00:08):
we did the there's this thing called comedy now and it's your
big comedy special in Canada, OK.
And we were all stared to put that on YouTube.
Do you know what I mean? Just for the fear of it,
whatever. But Russell Peters was the first
one that put that thing on YouTube, and he went.
(01:00:33):
He was. He's the same way as they say.
Tom Green is the podcast original.
Yeah. I think Russell Peters is the
first YouTube special comedian. Special comedian.
Easy. Because he went all of a sudden
he just that that was the first time anybody had seen anything
go global. I was too serious for this book.
(01:00:57):
Yeah. OK, Go ahead.
And he took a chat, he took a just took a chance.
But I just go fucking up last. Night him and Smeal was the
other guy that did it like they were agents.
There was like Ed and and May and oh, the the really cool guy.
I can't even remember, but yeah,so they they put it out there,
but, and even as it hit, it tookyears for the rest of us to
(01:01:22):
realise that it hit, man. Do you know what I mean?
But like for him, it changed hiswhole life.
Tom Green thing, Joe Rogan's on Tom Green show, like back in the
day at 2005 or something. Yeah.
And Joe was like, fuck, you know, this is great.
You just make your own show. This is amazing.
There's loads of money in this. And they're like, laugh it off.
(01:01:44):
Now I'm here with Tony. Is there?
Any place you drive people is daddy place.
No, no, you're my people. You're my family when you.
When you talk about my family, my family is comedians.
My family is is comics. All of them all.
(01:02:07):
Even the fucking goofy, fucking shitty little comedian I would
see as a little brother that'll beat the shit out of him.
But but I can beat the shit out of him.
But you can't. You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, punters. You stay away from him.
He's trying his best in the green room.
(01:02:28):
What? You dirty piece of shit?
Call that comedy. What the fuck?
You're embarrassed and I said. Can't wait to get out of the
Don't Swear. Again, Yeah, right.
If you like episodes like this, which I'm sure you did, please
silence to our patron and 3 LB amonth.
You Baker's rich. Yeah.
(01:02:48):
Go and see Tom on top. I need to, I told him now.
Yeah, OK, yeah, listen, I'm going to do that.
I'm really bad at it, but I'm getting better at it because I'm
realising this. Back to the Jonathan Ross thing
before I give my shout out, man,like, like these are the new,
this is the new talk show circuit.
Jonathan Ross and all of them. What I was trying to say before
(01:03:10):
is they got big stars on there to keep Jonathan Ross a star.
Do you know what I mean? That's why, that's why I hate it
now. That's why you're just propping
this guy up. But for us, the new talk show
circuit is whatever podcast you listen to.
So that's why I love you guys, number one, man, and that's why
(01:03:30):
I'm not getting my own podcast. I'm just going to be the best
guest on everybody else fucking.Podcast.
Middle weight champion of the. World so on Current TV.
One of the fire stand up site you have to go and see.
Godfather of comedy, maybe. We've spoke about you.
Lots of sad. And everyone else has.
Everyone else has as well. It's not just as you say.
(01:03:51):
Yeah, go and ask anyone. He's the he's the fucking man.
So. Go see.
Tom shows he's fantastic. Tomstay.com.
Tomstaystay.stay.com, Instagram,Twitter slash whatever, only
fans slash. Or if you're near a beach in
Canada and you're homeless, they'll probably suck you off
(01:04:14):
and so who knows, let's grab. Some seed thank.
You very much for coming on mateand you're welcome back anytime
you're. Just like Tony, Jamie, you know
I love you. Guys, thanks for listening to
see you guys soon. Cheers.
Bye.
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