I Wish You Knew

I Wish You Knew

Join the duo, Andrey Korikov, and Adam Lane Smith The Attachment Specialist, as they cut through the noise with bold, unfiltered discussions on love, connection, and relationships. From questions about love, psychology, and relationships to discussing the latest shifts in the culture and media, they’ll cover it all. If you’re ready for a podcast that’s as insightful and real as it gets—buckle up and get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about relationships!

Episodes

January 29, 2026 80 mins

Why is dating broken? 

Why are young men flooding back to church? 

In this conversation, I sit down with Patrick Coffin: Catholic broadcaster, close-up magician, and host of The Patrick Coffin Show. We go deep on the real reasons relationships are falling apart: and it goes back further than you think.

We cover:  → Why dating is a failed concept (and what humans actually need)  → The 3 "divorces" that broke Western civilization  → ...

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Dr. Chris Lee opens with the truth most people avoid: men are dying from loneliness. 

In this conversation, Adam Lane Smith and Dr. Chris Lee break down the science of emotional regulation, why your amygdala hallucinates up to 340% more threats if you have insecure attachment, and why scheduling your feelings might be the most counterintuitive (and effective) thing you ever do.

About Dr. Chris Lee: Neuroscience researcher, consulta...

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New Year's Sale. Up to 40% Off All Programs https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/nynm?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=nyny

RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE 2026 April 23 to 26 | San Diego, California https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=retreat

🔗 Attachment Assessment: Dr. Orion Taraban returns to break down what most relationship advice gets completely wrong.

We dive into the neurochemistry behind attr...

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January 9, 2026 66 mins

You're lonely.

Not because you're broken. Not because something's wrong with you.

Because you're trying to get all your connection from one person.

Krista Williams built her business with her best friend Lindsay. Stayed married for years. Got divorced. And discovered something that changed everything: her deepest sense of security didn't come from her husband. It came from her friendships.

66% of millennials feel lonely every singl...

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She's giving him everything.

Reducing friction. Avoiding hard questions. Making him comfortable. 

Hoping he'll finally step up.

He won't.

Not because he's broken. Because you've told him everything is fine.

Kelsey Wonderlin coaches women out of the patterns that keep them stuck: attaching too fast, ignoring red flags, and failing to have the conversations that actually build relationships.

In this episode, Adam Lane Smith and Kelse...

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What if choosing the right partner is the most important decision a man makes? Schafer explains how leadership, respect, and healthy dynamics create attraction, loyalty, and lasting partnership.

Topics Covered:

👉 Why choosing a wife is the most important decision in a man’s life 👉 The hidden damage caused by “mothering” and nagging dynamics 👉 How positive reinforcement builds loyalty and emotional safety 👉 The Executive Partner...

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December 19, 2025 45 mins

Why do so many marriages fail even when both partners try to keep things 50/50? This episode breaks down why that model creates tension and what actually makes a marriage strong.

Topics Covered: 👉 Why 50/50 marriages create resentment for both men and women 👉 The difference between leading your wife vs. leading the marriage 👉 Why most men want to lead but were never taught how in marriage 👉 How responsibility—not feelings—is th...

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Can relationship stress literally make someone sick? From cortisol spikes to blood sugar dysregulation, this discussion reveals how emotional conflict is processed by the body as a survival threat. 

Topics Covered: 👉 How chronic relationship stress creates a cortisol association with a partner 👉 Why psychological stress alone can spike blood sugar 👉 Acute vs chronic stress and its impact on metabolism 👉 The long-term health ris...

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What does a truly masculine role look like in a healthy marriage? Daniele explains how masculine presence, emotional safety, and respect create trust, connection, and long-term stability

Topics Covered: 👉 emotional safety as a core masculine responsibility in marriage 👉 why women need security to bring their best selves 👉 masculine listening and how it strengthens connection 👉 why men retreat from emotion and how it harms the m...

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Are anxious men unknowingly sabotaging their love life? This video breaks down how anxious attachment affects dating, relationships, and self-worth and how to shift toward secure, confident patterns.

Topics Covered: 👉 Anxious Attachment & Perceived Lack of Leverage 👉 Using Humor in Attachment Work 👉 Dating Struggles: Lack of Safety Cues 👉 Anxious Dating Behaviors 👉 Biological Basis of Anxiety in Dating 👉 Importance of Val...

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Wondering why your wife stopped wanting sex? Discover the real reasons sexual desire fades in marriage and how emotional connection, hormones, and communication play a role.

Topics Covered: 👉 How emotional connection impacts sexual desire 👉 The role of hormones in reigniting libido 👉 Oxytocin and the bonding process in marriage 👉 Repairing conflicts to restore intimacy 👉 Collaborative experiments to improve connection 👉 Daily...

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Ever wonder what Porn really does to your brain? Dr. Trish Leigh explains how it hijacks dopamine, damages intimacy, and undermines trust and emotional safety in relationships.

Topics Covered: 👉 Porn as a dopamine-driven addiction 👉 How Porn disconnects men from real partners during intimacy 👉 Why betrayal trauma becomes a nervous system crisis 👉 Why healthy relationships require zero exposure to Porn or explicit digital conten...

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What happens when high-performing moms carry hidden pain no one sees? This episode exposes the emotional cost of perfection, attachment wounds, and the struggle to feel safe in love and motherhood.

Topics Covered 👉 The unseen emotional pain behind high-performing motherhood 👉 How childhood instability shapes attachment and coping 👉 The “quiet disorganized” attachment style explained 👉 Emotional detachment as a stress survival m...

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What happens when attachment makes love something you have to earn? Adam and Annie uncover how childhood trauma and disorganized attachment make people perform for love instead of feeling safe being real.

TOPICS COVERED:

👉 The hidden pain of growing up unseen and emotionally neglected 👉 How childhood trauma leads to disorganized attachment 👉 The difference between loud and quiet disorganized attachment 👉 Why many people equate ...

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What happens when toxic attachment feels like love? Maggie opens up about an 11-year relationship marked by addiction and emotional chaos, uncovering how her father’s betrayal shaped her patterns and need to rescue others.

✨ Topics Covered ✨ 👉 The link between childhood trauma and adult relationship patterns 👉 The invisible caretaker role and how it develops 👉 Addiction’s hidden impact on intimacy and integrity 👉 Why women ofte...

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What happens when Quiet Disorganized Attachment makes love feel unsafe but loneliness unbearable? Adam reveals how this hidden attachment style forms, why it’s so misunderstood, and how healing begins.

Topics Covered:  👉 What Quiet Disorganized Attachment looks like in relationships 👉 The childhood roots of this attachment style (unsafe and demanding parents) 👉 How trauma creates emotional shutdown and perfectionism 👉 Why psych...

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What happens when an avoidant man is confronted with the emotional truths his partner has been holding back? 

In this episode, Adam invites a couple to face nine brutally honest relationship challenges. The conversation dives into emotional shutdowns, loyalty issues, and the impact of childhood wounds — revealing what avoidance looks like when love and vulnerability collide.

✨Topics Covered: 👉 The avoidant partner’s emotional resp...

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Why do avoidant men struggle so much with love, vulnerability, and connection? 

In this video, we break down how avoidant attachment forms, why it creates barriers in relationships, and what can actually be done to move forward.

Topics Covered:  👉 What is attachment? 👉The difference between secure and insecure attachment 👉 How avoidant attachment shows up in men’s behavior and language 👉 The hidden stress avoidant men experienc...

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Why does avoidant attachment make it so hard to feel close, even in loving relationships? For many men, emotional distance isn’t a lack of love—it’s a stress-driven response that blocks connection. This video unpacks the psychology and biology behind avoidant patterns and offers tools to create healthier intimacy.

Topics Covered 👉 Emotional shutdown and chronic unavailability in avoidant men 👉 The “cone of death” metaphor for lim...

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Why does avoidant attachment make it so hard to feel close, even in loving relationships? For many men, emotional distance isn’t a lack of love—it’s a stress-driven response that blocks connection. This video unpacks the psychology and biology behind avoidant patterns and offers tools to create healthier intimacy.

Topics Covered 👉 Emotional shutdown and chronic unavailability in avoidant men 👉 The “cone of death” metaphor for lim...

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