February 26, 2024 • 38 mins
If you’re waiting for life to happen to you - this episode is for you.
In the Season 2 Finale of I’m Lost, So What? I’m exploring what ‘being an active participant’ in life has looked like for me and how this has helped me quiet a lot of the mind drama I experience.
In this episode, I share:
- What are we really doing here?
- What ‘letting life happen to you’ looks like
- And my 4-step methodology, ‘Creating (For) Yourself’
Links referenced in the episode:
- “Life of Riza” YouTube Video, ‘For those waiting for life to happen’ - https://youtu.be/ij84DoCEmdI?si=3Cp5Rn338lz944xJ
- S2E12 of I’m Lost, So What?, “How to get your shit together and other tips for living your best life” - https://imlostsowhat.podbean.com/e/how-to-get-your-shit-together-and-other-tips-for-living-your-best-life/
- S1 Finale of I’m Lost, So What?, “Does this matter if the world is ending?” - https://imlostsowhat.podbean.com/e/season-finale-does-this-matter-if-the-world-is-ending/
Connect with Cassandra and her business elsewhere:
- Cassandra’s Personal Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cassandratle/
- The Quirky Pineapple Studio Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thequirkypineapplestudio/
- The Quirky Pineapple Studio Website - https://thequirkypineapple.com/
- Love the podcast? Considering supporting - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/cassandrale
- Subscribe to Cassandra’s YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvIE9KYuAQD39SCkKwKh4ow
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Like I've basically just created myown kind of like process for this that
has helped me be less passive in lifeand more of an active participant.
And it's really helped me move out ofthis cycle of like mind drama and, you
know, this catch 22 of not knowing.
(00:21):
So why take action?
Uh, don't know what's going to happen.
So why take action?
But then frustrated that I'm nottaking action, frustrated that.
Things are happening to me, feeling outof control, but then not knowing what
things look like on the other side.
Hello.
Hello, everyone.
I'm Cassandra Le and you'relistening to I'm Lost, So What?
(00:41):
The podcast exploring betweenbelonging and carving your own path.
For all the peeps out there who kindof know what you're doing, but still
question what the fuck is going on.
Yeah, I'm with you.
Welcome to the season two finaleof the I'm Lost, So What podcast.
Woo!
I am going to take a moment of pauseto just recognize a few things.
(01:05):
Honestly, I had an idea for more nuancedconversations around identity, culture,
and belonging in, I believe, middle of2022, and Y'all I brought it to life.
We had an awesome season oneexploring topics around the internet
identity and multiculturalism andNow in season two we brought on some
(01:30):
amazing guests who shared their ownin between experiences and stories.
I think I didn't count, uh, butI do think that there are 20 plus
episodes of the I'm Lost So What?
Podcast.
Amazing.
Okay.
I just want to take a moment topause for myself and soak it all in.
(01:53):
And if you're an avid listener or you'renew, uh, and you just found this show.
Thank you for being here.
All right, moment of gratitude over.
Um, well, not fully over, but I'mtaking that energy with me into
this topic that we've got at hand,which is if you're waiting for life
(02:14):
to happen, this episode is for you.
So the first thing that Ithink we all have to answer.
Or I will answer technically is whatare we really doing here at the time
of recording this season finale?
I feel like we are currentlyliving in a dystopian world.
I like chuckle, but honestly likey'all this is like some serious shit
(02:35):
there Has been a genocide happeningin Palestine for the past four months.
There are other things happening inSudan, Congo, Ukraine, of course, and
even more billionaires are gettingrich or richer while the rest of us
are living through an economic crisis.
Capitalism is turning us intocyborgs and working machines.
(02:56):
There is an environmental crisis andhonestly, lots of things happening.
Most days, um, I willbe honest with y'all.
I asked myself.
What am I really doing here?
Then I ask myself, whatis the point of this all?
Then the waterfall of questionscontinue to why am I contributing to a
(03:16):
capitalist society that will only tryto exploit me Now y'all know basically
what I'm talking about with my therapistin our sessions or in my journal.
Uh, how do I find a genuinecommunity of people?
And when does it actually get better?
And if you're waiting for me to shareanswers to these questions, um, I
(03:37):
unfortunately do not have the answer.
To what are we really doing here?
Or the other slew of questions thatI just mentioned, but I do have like
an answer I came up for myself thatactually helps me move past over
overwhelm, overanalyzation, analysis,paralysis, and feelings of doom and dread.
(03:59):
So I guess what am I doinghere as me, cassandra Le?
The answer that I came up for myselfthat actually makes me feel better,
and I don't know if I am being delulu here, is that I am honestly just
here to create, to love, and to live.
Yes, it is really fucking hard todo this in a capitalist society.
(04:20):
Yes, it is really fucking hardto do this when systems of
oppression as a marginalized personmake it It's almost impossible.
And yes, it is really fuckinghard to figure out how to make
money and just live a good life.
Uh, but then I also realized thatI, I also don't want to struggle
my way through life anymore.
So I have to show up every day andchoose also disclaimer that yes.
(04:44):
It is really hard and also reallyfucking tiring So what do I mean when I
am here to create to love and to live?
So when I say that i'm here to createto me that means i'm here to reimagine
to dream to create something that Ibelieve in wholeheartedly And honestly
just share it with the world this Well,like looking back at my life when I was
(05:06):
like writing my notes for this episode.
It's manifested itself really intoCreating my business the quirky
pineapple studio creating this podcast.
I'm lost.
So what?
Creating events and workshops that I'vehosted for the community my clients It's
creating and producing the content that Ihave like my youtube channel social media
again this podcast and so many more thingsit is creating with communities I've built
(05:31):
and the communities that I'm part of likethat to me is being here to create now.
What about I am here to love?
What does this actually mean to me?
Um, to me, it means to makespaces where people feel like
they belong as a Pisces son.
I feel like I've got a lotof fucking love to give.
And I truly tried to sprinklethat in like a romanticized
(05:54):
way to everything that I do.
I know sounds super cheesy andkind of like what the heck.
But it's true.
That's just who I am.
That's just like what I mean whenI am here to love and what does it
mean when I say I am here to live?
Well, funny story.
(06:15):
I told my parents that, I guess,how do I, how do I approach this?
Like I'm here to live.
So I told my parents.
This and it pissed them off because youknow, if you are a daughter of immigrant
parents I don't know if your parentshave done this but they kind of like
expect you to live out all of thesethings and then basically pay them back
for and like Thanking them for bringingyou into this life when you didn't
(06:37):
really decide to be born or decide tobe here That's what I told my parents.
That was not a fun conversationat the dinner table.
I feel like my sisters had a little bitof a freak out moment when that happened.
But now that I am actually here,however, uh, uh, with not by choice,
technically, I just want to live my life.
I want to experience lots ofthings and I want to be an active
(07:01):
participant in life instead ofletting life happen to me, which.
Is what we'll get into next.
So I got this concept ofletting life happen to you
from YouTuber Carissa Santos.
She has a YouTube video about thisthat I've linked in the show notes.
And in her video, she shares thatletting life happen to you To you, kind
(07:27):
of looks like waiting for the rightmoment to do something, waiting for a
quote, unquote, better idea to actuallytake action, waiting for someone to
say, go, waiting for somebody to say,do it basically waiting for permission.
And I love that definition from Carissaand I want to add to it and basically
say like, okay, my definition ofletting life happen to you is similar to
(07:50):
Carissa's and it's also this feeling of.
Just waiting all the time waiting tobe chosen waiting for someone to say go
ahead It's like waiting for the lotteryand that's it And when you're letting
life happen to you life ends up in myopinion and in my experience Honestly
being chaotic when life happens to you.
(08:11):
It is like pure chaos.
You feel like there's no control.
You feel super frustrated.
You feel lost not the good kind oflost that we've talked about in this
season of the podcast You're basicallyjust floating Again, not in a good way.
I think in a previous episode, I talkedabout what floating is like and like the
(08:31):
intentional type of floating, which isbasically for me existing in the twilight
zone of opportunities and possibility,basically like time when you're just.
I'm just thinking, Oh my gosh, like thisis also possible and that's not the type
of floating that we're talking about now.
Uh, this is like the floating offree falling over here for me when
(08:53):
life is happening to you, it's justplaying the waiting game waiting for
permission for from someone game anda frustrating game that doesn't ever
really let you win It's like you'resuper close to winning and then something
happens and then you're like, oh fuck.
I lost.
I do want to say like disclaimer heredepending on whatever situation you're
(09:15):
applying this to this will vary becauseif you're feeling physically unsafe in
certain situations the quote unquoteletting life happen to you might Be
one of the safest things to do untilthere is another option available.
I am talking again from you know, myexperience and where I am currently
at in life and For me the letting lifehappen to you game ends up being just
(09:40):
me being super passive me not actuallytaking action, me not choosing something.
So what happens when welet life happen to us?
When we let life happen to us?
Is that like grammatically correct?
When we let life happen?
Yeah, I think so.
Um, okay.
So I honestly feel like letting lifehappen to us, or at least for me,
(10:03):
when I let life happen to me, itreally fell in line with the question
of what am I really doing here?
Because I didn't have the answerof what am I really doing here?
And of course, then, because I didn'thave the answer or any clarity or
direction, it made sense to not be anactive participant of life because I
(10:23):
just didn't know, like, how can I bean active participant of life if I
just don't know what's going to happen?
Or if I don't know what I want, orif I don't have a purpose, or if I
don't feel good about something, ifI don't feel connected, if I don't
actually have my personal values clear.
And when that happens, then I gotinto the thought cycle of what's
(10:44):
the point, this isn't meaningful,this makes no difference.
It's wasted time,effort, money, et cetera.
And again, I don't have the answerfor you if you are looking for okay.
Well, what is the purpose of life?
And if you want to listen to what otherpeople's purposes of life are you can
listen to season one finale episode wherea couple folks sent in their answers
(11:08):
for what is their purpose of life?
I think that episode is awesome.
And it's just really nice to hearlike how honestly people's purposes?
Is that correct?
Purposi??
No.
Purposes have changed over different,like, stages of their life.
But again, if you want to listento the episode, I will listen
to season one, uh, finale.
But I don't have, like, an actualanswer to what's the point of all
(11:31):
of this and why are you really here?
Like, I've basically just created myown kind of, like, process for this
that has helped me be less passive inlife and more of an active participant
and it's really helped me move out ofthis cycle of like mind drama and you
(11:52):
know this catch 22 of not knowing.
So why take action?
Don't know what's gonna happen So whytake action but then frustrated that
I'm not taking action frustrated thatthings are happening to me feeling
out of control but then not knowingwhat things look like on the other
side if I choose all of that cycle.
I talked about it in the lastepisode, but that is like mind
(12:14):
drama that I just do not want.
So what does it actually mean to startbeing an active participant of life,
at least in Cassandra Le definition?
And I'm going to share, I guess, thestages that I have created and it is
(12:36):
called the Creating for Yourself, I guess.
I don't know what it's called.
Creating for YourselfMethodology, I guess.
I don't really have like a formal name tothis, you know, it's not, I'm not trying
to like market something to you all.
This is just something that.
I have like brought awarenessto in my own experience.
So the Creating for Yourself.
(12:57):
Um, in my notes, I've gottenthe word for in parentheses.
So this can be taken as creating yourselfor actually creating for yourself.
And there are four parts to it.
The way I see it, I'll list the fourparts and then we'll dive into it.
So the first part is seeking it.
Being an active participant is number two.
Number three is you are here.
(13:18):
And number four is giving your voice.
So let's just Dive into the four parts ofit and kind of see how they like fit in
with actually being an active participant.
So seeking it, uh, this is for me lookingfor and finding ways to actually create.
And it doesn't need to beanything like grand or huge.
(13:43):
Uh, it could be somethingvery, very simple.
It could be like.
Classes.
It could be doing something at home.
It could be carvingout time to do X, Y, Z.
It could be the choice to eat X insteadof Y or the choice to not do something.
Basically, it's bringing awarenessto a specific situation where you can
(14:05):
actually do something differently andyou know, you recognize that there is a
choice so I guess like a really simpleone for me is that I realized that
I was Being a passive participant inlife when it came to learning Spanish.
(14:26):
I have been in Spain now fora collective of eight years.
I have picked up Spanish passively andI kind of just learned by being immersed
in the country, which is awesome.
I got to a really high level and I'mreally proud of the work that I put in.
To learn the language, but Irealized, hmm, I want to get better.
(14:47):
I want to like be fully bilingual.
I want to really perfectionize.
Is that a word?
Am I just like making upwords in this podcast episode?
I don't know, but I wanted to really.
Express myself in a way that was more, um,aligned with what I really wanted to say,
instead of kind of just like describingthings and people could understand me.
(15:11):
So that was like my passive active, likemy passive participation in Spanish.
And instead of continuously being passiveand kind of being annoyed that like my
Spanish level was kind of like plateauing.
Or that, you know, I didn't havelike the vocabulary that I really
wanted to express this specificexact thing and explain myself.
(15:32):
Like this, I decided, okay, I'mgoing to look up what it actually
takes to go to Spanish classes.
Uh, where I can take Spanish classesand how I can take Spanish classes, how
much it costs, rearranging my schedule.
All of that is actuallylike the seeking it part.
Like it is bringing awareness to asituation that, hmm, I am being passive
(15:54):
here and I don't really like it.
I mean, if you're like, okay withit, then you don't really have
to like change anything because.
You're okay with beingpassive in that part.
Like you don't have to be active ineverything, but I knew like, Hmm, I
don't really like being passive inbeing a Spanish language learner.
I want to be active in it.
So then I found honestly, likethe classes that I go to now and
(16:15):
I started rearranging things andI started figuring out, Hmm, okay.
Going to Spanish classes issomething feasible for me.
I can actually actively.
Go and be a participant in a classroom,learn from a teacher and ask questions
so that I can improve in a way thatis more applied than if I were just
(16:36):
to hear people talking on the street.
Um, the next step I think is a littlebit harder, which is going to be
coming an actual participant, and thismeans like actually taking action.
So once you've brought awareness to asituation that you realize you're letting
life happen to you, well, now it'stime to be an active participant of it
(16:59):
because like you brought that awareness.
So you can either decide to Like if youdecide, okay, you don't want to change.
Cool.
Then maybe the rest of thispodcast episode, not for you.
Maybe you could just turn this off now,but if you decide that you do want to
change, then this is where we have tostart taking action to make it happen.
(17:19):
Like what I described previouslyin like the consciousness seeking
it portion of my, like, I guess,methodology, I'll put it in air quotes.
You can't see me doing air quotes, butair quote methodology is I started.
Looking up information, I startedseeing, okay, where can I, you know,
rearrange my schedule, um, how willI get to classes, those things.
(17:43):
So really once you've broughtawareness to the situation.
Now it's time to takeaction to make it happen.
What does that actually look like?
Okay, We already talked about recognizingthat you want something to change and then
deciding that you're going to change it.
And then this is of course themost important is Taking the action
(18:03):
to change and then repeating it.
I talked about this in the last episodeof how to get your shit together and live
your best life if you haven't listened tothat I've linked it in the show notes of
this episode But this is when you know,you start building out an action plan.
You start setting goals You start buildingin systems to like support this and
(18:25):
again I I also want to mention like yeahI can say take action take action do
the thing do the thing and like peopleare going to look at me and be like
What the fuck Cassandra like it's hard.
And then yeah, it's really hard.
Uh, this is when I really also wantto reiterate how important discipline
and self compassion are for thisstage because I feel like discipline
and When we apply it in this stage ofthis methodology and in life of being
(18:48):
an active participant of life andlike not letting life happen to us.
I feel like discipline is just likeshowing up day after day and then tied in
with self compassion is really importantbecause some days we don't show up.
And having that self compassionto basically be like, Hmm, okay, I
didn't show up today, but you know.
(19:11):
I give myself grace.
I understand.
I'm gonna still show up tomorrow.
And not fully, like, giveup on ourselves, you know?
Like, I'm talking aboutthis, like, you and me.
But really, like, for myself.
Like, I remember when I didn't show upto something where, like I said, I was
gonna commit and then I, like, faltered.
And of course, like, I didn't have thediscipline at that point, so then I
(19:32):
felt bad about myself and then I gotinto, like, this whole spiral of Oh my
gosh, I can't keep up with anything.
This sucks.
I suck.
I can't make it.
change.
This is really hard.
I knew it was a bad idea.
But when I apply the self compassionto myself, then I'm able to recognize
that, Hmm, I can pause and I don't suck.
(19:54):
And that there are lots of things thatI can give to myself, like the grace
that I was talking about to continueagain tomorrow or try again tomorrow.
Like it doesn't have to be perfect.
Every single time I can continue tryingand that's I mean this whole process which
I think I mentioned it or I will mentionit later on but this is not like a one
(20:16):
and done checklist type of thing y'alllike this is a continuous long process of
Quote unquote being an active participantof life or not letting life happen to you.
So, okay That was beingan active participant.
We talked about seeking it the third.
I don't know what to call theseStage, third pass, I guess stage,
(20:36):
the third stage of this methodologyis what I call you are here.
Okay, so in this stage, forme, this is like when I feel
super excited, proud of myself.
I did it.
I'm here.
I'm on the other side of one, bringingawareness to a situation that I don't
like, then being an active participantand taking action to change it.
(20:58):
And I'm on the other side.
And.
This is like, I think when mostpeople are like, Oh my gosh, I did it.
One and done.
Here we go.
We made it.
Yay.
Um, when in reality, this again is wherediscipline and self compassion, uh, still
need to be applied because it, you mightgo back and forth or you might like falter
(21:20):
or, um, You might, you know, stick withit for a long time and then something
changes and then you fall off or Youstick with it for like two weeks and then
something changes and then you fall off.
Before we get into that though,when you make it to the other side
I do think there are a couple thingsthat are super important to do.
(21:40):
It's It's important to, at least forme, acknowledge that I actually did it.
So something like right in the beginningof this podcast episode for the finale, I
talked about how I had this idea for thispodcast back in, I think, June of 2022.
And I actually brought it to life becauseI was like, Hmm, something is not working
(22:02):
and, or something feels restless in me andI want to bring forth a creative project.
I just want to acknowledge that I actuallydid it now after acknowledging it to
yourself or if you want to acknowledgeit to somebody else then I think for me,
it's always really important to celebratethese things because It like helps me to
(22:23):
pause and not be in like a go go go modeas a recovering workaholic I am always
on the go and i'm always looking for likethe next thing the next like milestone
the next like stage Or level to cross off.
And when I take a moment to celebrateany big or small thing, really,
(22:44):
it helps to kind of pause or makeme pause and then really recognize
all of the effort and energy, time,money, whatever I put into achieving.
What it is that I wanted to do.
So I haven't figured out what I'm goingto do to celebrate season two yet, but
if you have any recommendations or ideas,you can always send me an Instagram
(23:06):
message @CassandraTLe, and I will gladlytake any ideas or recommendations.
Uh, to celebrate, maybeI will, I don't know yet.
I'm gonna have to think about this.
I'll think about it afterthis episode though.
And again, after celebrating, bringingback discipline and self compassion
because I know, you know, you thinkyou made it after one thing, but
(23:30):
really it's continuously sticking toit and giving yourself grace and self
compassion when you don't stick to it.
And getting back into it.
Anyways, even when you falter, I alsothink in this, like, you are here stage.
It's Important to ask two questions onceyou've like made it to the other side,
(23:55):
you know, you are here Now it's time toask the question, and this isn't like
the question, this question doesn'thave to come completely or immediately
after arriving to this here, quote,unquote, this question can come a little
bit after sometime after maybe it'swhen you are back in the seeking it
(24:16):
stage and you're kind of like, Hmm, Idon't know something I needed to take
a moment and kind of just like reflect.
So the two questions.
That I think is important to askin the you are here stage is one.
Do you like it here?
Because if you do, awesome.
Let's keep going.
Let's keep up with it.
This is great.
No changes.
Yay.
(24:36):
And if you don't like it here, nowwe have to go back to the drawing
board and do something else.
And I feel like this is when a lot ofpeople, me included, feel like, oof.
I put in all that time and effortand energy into this thing only
to realize that I didn't likeit and I don't like it here.
(24:59):
And this has happened to me, I think, forexample, with like The Quirky Pineapple
Studio, um, back in 2020, for example, Irealized, okay, something had to change.
And I wanted to find differentways to support clients.
So I launched a mastermind anda membership to support people
through like marketing coaching.
(25:20):
And it worked really well.
I was like loving it for probablylike six to eight months.
And then I got to a pointwhere I was like, Oh shit.
I'm really fucking tired.
I was like exhausted.
I basically built out this entire thing.
And then.
I was in burnout mode, uh,for a really long time.
(25:43):
And I had to ask the question cause Ithought, Oh, I made it to the other side.
Like I am offering one to oneservices through our agency and
also offering a education side.
So I had like my dreamof a hybrid business.
And I had to ask thequestion, do I like it here?
And honestly.
My answer was no, I do not like it here.
(26:04):
I hated it here.
My partner was like, uh,Cassandra, you might want to rest.
And it was like, I cannot rest because I.
I have all these clientsI need to support.
I have all these things I need to do.
Uh, the business willliterally crumble if I do not.
And I had to pause and I had to goback to the drawing board and go
back to the seeking it stage of, Hmm.
(26:26):
Okay.
Well, something has to change.
What do I do now?
And that is when I moved back intothis cycle of, okay, seeking it.
What do I want to change?
Not only what do I want to change?
How am I going to change it?
And then the active participant mode oftaking action which is when I started to
actually take action to change and Now I'mback in this you are here stage of cool.
(26:52):
I removed coaching And educationand I focus on the agency and now
we are back in the you are here.
And now I'm asking myself that question.
Do I like it here?
Uh, we're still figuring out the answer.
I'm working on it.
I will let you all knowwhen I have it, but.
I, I don't know, we're going to,we're going to figure it out together.
(27:14):
So that is stage number three.
The last stage is what I like tocall the giving your voice stage.
So this is stage four, but it'snot necessarily the last stage
of this entire process to beingan active participant of life.
I personally love this stage and it'sprobably one of the most difficult
after the taking action, because now.
(27:35):
It's moving into making deeper impact.
It's time to give like myvoice and find community.
It's me surrounding myself with otherswho are in a similar situation, uh,
who have similar goals, who wantto, or who like share in my vision.
It is really leaning into communityand resourcing myself to continue
(28:00):
to be an active participant of life.
Um, that means like findingpeople to keep me accountable.
Finding or like keeping othersaccountable who are in my circle.
It is really moving togetherto make a bigger impact.
And the reason why I say this stageis probably one of the most difficult
after the taking action is becauseit's Like a scary stage because
(28:24):
it's not just about you anymoreor in my case me Really you or me.
It's not just about the individual.
It's now thinking about the collective,which is scary because now you're
taking like Active participant oflife not letting life happen to you
in a whole other scale It's reallylike putting yourself out there
and having people call you out andin and allowing that to happen.
(28:48):
Not in like a cancel way, but likein a hey I care about you and like
have you thought about it likethis different perspective way.
It's learning And also admitting thatyou have more to learn and it's not
staying in your bubble of like tryingit's actually fully committing And
saying hey Not only do I commit tothis for myself, I hold this commitment
(29:12):
for the collective, for the community,for the greater good of others.
Like, now we're getting into, like,meta thinking, and this, I think,
is really fucking terrifying.
I feel like most of the time, weonly get to like stages one to
three, like the seeking it activeparticipant and the you are here stage.
And then we just like repeat those threebecause moving into the giving your voice
(29:34):
stage of like surrounding yourself withcommunity, doing something else to make
a larger impact, thinking about like yourimpact, not as an individual, but like
as a greater collective is even scarier.
Also scarier to like take action ona bigger scale than just like doing
something within like your personallife, but I feel like reaching stage
(29:56):
four and actively Participating in itand not letting life or getting caught
in the letting life happen to you.
Stages one to three portion.
I hope I'm making sense.
Y'all like I have like anoutline in front of me too.
I'm like reading this.
Um, let me know if this makes sense.
Send me a message on Instagram@CassandraTLeE if you got lost in here
(30:19):
and I can always like elaborate more, but.
I do feel like the giving your voice stageis probably the stage that we are missing
a lot of because this is- this is liketaking it up a notch y'all like this is
moving together to do something biggerand then it's real and it's also realizing
(30:40):
that as an individual you only have somuch power energy money time, etc to
give and that to Do something bigger andmore impactful, something more helpful.
You need more people with you.
And that is the scary part becauseonce you start incorporating more
(31:01):
people in our current capitalistsociety, it gets more complicated.
Although it doesn't have to be anyways.
Let me re summarize the four stagesagain to the creating for yourself
methodology coined by CassandraLe.The first one, seeking it.
Second, being an active participant.
Third, you are here.
(31:21):
And fourth, giving your voice.
I feel like it's a good time to mentionhere that again, this process is also not
linear and being an active participantof life isn't like a checklist.
I also want to say like being anactive participant of life in all
areas of life, um, I don't want tosay that it is impossible, but it
(31:42):
does require lots of change and work.
And sometimes I feel like We wantto be active participants like if we
are conscious to this like we wantto do all the things all the time and
Like unfortunately, we just can't dueto like time energy money capacity,
whatever but sometimes I will saylike some areas will take precedent
over over others, and that is okay.
(32:04):
I don't want to say like, Oh yeah,if you're not doing it all at the
same time, like you suck and I suck.
No, like sometimes I just can't.
Like for example, this year I decidedthat my driver, my Spanish driver's
license and learning Spanish are goingto take precedent over other things.
I don't know what those other thingsare yet because I'm going off the
(32:24):
cuff now, but those things are takingprecedent this year and next year it will
probably be something else next year.
It could be like finding a fitnesscommunity because this year I'm
kind of like setting the foundationfor regular exercise and like
working on my fitness journey.
So I don't think like we need to beactive all the time and all the things I
(32:45):
do feel like we can't not mainly becauseof the current way, like our society
is set up, but that probably has to beanother conversation for another day.
I do think the most important thing forme, uh, is just being aware of all the
areas I want to become more of an activeparticipant and less of a bystander.
Like if I'm aware of that, then atleast I can kind of decide, okay,
(33:07):
I'm going to work on this this year.
And then next year I'm going to work on.
This the other thing and then theyear after that I'm going to work on
this other thing and slowly It'll justlike build up over time because I'll
just bring more consciousness and moreintention to specific areas And yes,
some things may fall off to the side,but that's kind of just me This is where
I think the seeking it stage which isstage one of this whole methodology is
(33:32):
important because then if I am awareof it, then I can like Re add it to the
list and check it out for next time.
Or if I'm aware of it, then I cantake note of it and see where I
can like switch things in and out.
It's, it's like a thing thatwe're always working on, which I
know sounds really tiring, right?
Like that's when sometimes some of myclients ask about marketing and they're
(33:55):
like, does this like thing ever turn offand technically marketing never turns
off, but if you have specific marketingfoundations, not that this is a marketing
podcast, but as an example, if you havespecific marketing foundations, then
they will be running and supporting youwithout you needing to always be on.
And I feel like that's like the samething with all of the, like these
(34:17):
personal things that I'm talking about.
Like there are certain systemsand foundations that we can set up
where we don't always need to beon, but they just help us keep us.
Just help us keep ourselves incheck and intentional and aware.
I don't think like we have togive XYZ 100 percent all the time.
That's a lot.
(34:37):
Like some days, I just don't have 100percent to give and I think that's okay.
Well y'all, we've reached the end.
Season two.
I'm lost.
So what podcast before we completelysay goodbye, I want to share three
journaling prompts, or I guessexploratory questions for you all.
(34:59):
If you want to dive deeper into this.
The first question is, where are youalready an active participant of life?
Got to recognize that got tocelebrate it, got to acknowledge it.
The second one is what areasdo you feel like you're waiting
for life to happen to you?
And the third one is what next, ifyou actually bring consciousness
to that awareness to it, what next?
(35:20):
What are you going to do next?
If you decide not to doanything, that's okay too.
That is also a choice within itself.
And if you decide something has tochange, then what is going to change?
Alright, those are the journaling prompts.
I feel like that's a lot.
Thank you.
for being here.
Thank you for your continuedsupport for this podcast.
(35:42):
If you like this podcast, if you reallylove all of the nuanced conversations
that we explore, I invite you andlike you want to support this podcast.
I have a link in the shownotes to buy me a coffee.
It is not.
Required but always very nice since I amfunding this podcast on my own any coffee
(36:05):
helps or just like, you know monetarydonation helps to Help me cover the cost
for bringing this podcast into the world.
I want to give a shout out to Georgiawho is our podcast coordinator and
making these episodes silky smooth,helping by sharing her opinions
and supporting the production.
I want to shout out Mario, my partner forpulling together clips to share across
(36:28):
social media and also giving his opinions,supporting and suggesting episode topics.
And I want to be honest with y'all seasonthree is currently not in production.
I want to take some time to revisit thestrategy and direction of this podcast.
I still want this to be a place to reallyshare nuance conversations and for others
to reference for nuance conversations.
(36:49):
So I want to take a pause onthe next season to kind of
workshop it a little bit more.
So if you would love to hear specificthings or, you know, you have specific
feedback for me, whether it's liketopic ideas or formats of the episodes,
uh, any type of feedback at all.
(37:09):
You can send me a message on Instagram@CassandraTLe but until then, um, I
appreciate you all and I appreciatethat you listen and, you know,
take this all in, explore thesenuanced conversations with me around
identity, culture, and belonging.
And Until the next episode, Iwill see y'all on the internet.
(37:34):
Stay fierce fam.
If you're hearing this message, that meansyou made it to the end of the episode.
Yay.
Thanks for listening.
If you enjoyed this conversation andhad an idea on future topics you'd
like to see covered on the podcast.
Send me a message on Instagram@CassandraTLe with your idea.
If we decide to explore the topic,we'll also give you a shout out.
(37:55):
Want to hang out with me inother areas of the internet?
Subscribe to the Doing Good newsletterto receive exclusive access to personal
musings from me and podcast guests.
Find the link in the show notes anddon't forget to subscribe if you haven't.
Thank you and see you in the next episode.
Stay fierce fam.
Like I've basically just created myown kind of like process for this that
has helped me be less passive in lifeand more of an active participant.
And it's really helped me move out ofthis cycle of like mind drama and, you
know, this catch 22 of not knowing.
(00:21):
So why take action?
Uh, don't know what's going to happen.
So why take action?
But then frustrated that I'm nottaking action, frustrated that.
Things are happening to me, feeling outof control, but then not knowing what
things look like on the other side.
Hello.
Hello, everyone.
I'm Cassandra Le and you'relistening to I'm Lost, So What?
(00:41):
The podcast exploring betweenbelonging and carving your own path.
For all the peeps out there who kindof know what you're doing, but still
question what the fuck is going on.
Yeah, I'm with you.
Welcome to the season two finaleof the I'm Lost, So What podcast.
Woo!
I am going to take a moment of pauseto just recognize a few things.
(01:05):
Honestly, I had an idea for more nuancedconversations around identity, culture,
and belonging in, I believe, middle of2022, and Y'all I brought it to life.
We had an awesome season oneexploring topics around the internet
identity and multiculturalism andNow in season two we brought on some
(01:30):
amazing guests who shared their ownin between experiences and stories.
I think I didn't count, uh, butI do think that there are 20 plus
episodes of the I'm Lost So What?
Podcast.
Amazing.
Okay.
I just want to take a moment topause for myself and soak it all in.
(01:53):
And if you're an avid listener or you'renew, uh, and you just found this show.
Thank you for being here.
All right, moment of gratitude over.
Um, well, not fully over, but I'mtaking that energy with me into
this topic that we've got at hand,which is if you're waiting for life
(02:14):
to happen, this episode is for you.
So the first thing that Ithink we all have to answer.
Or I will answer technically is whatare we really doing here at the time
of recording this season finale?
I feel like we are currentlyliving in a dystopian world.
I like chuckle, but honestly likey'all this is like some serious shit
(02:35):
there Has been a genocide happeningin Palestine for the past four months.
There are other things happening inSudan, Congo, Ukraine, of course, and
even more billionaires are gettingrich or richer while the rest of us
are living through an economic crisis.
Capitalism is turning us intocyborgs and working machines.
(02:56):
There is an environmental crisis andhonestly, lots of things happening.
Most days, um, I willbe honest with y'all.
I asked myself.
What am I really doing here?
Then I ask myself, whatis the point of this all?
Then the waterfall of questionscontinue to why am I contributing to a
(03:16):
capitalist society that will only tryto exploit me Now y'all know basically
what I'm talking about with my therapistin our sessions or in my journal.
Uh, how do I find a genuinecommunity of people?
And when does it actually get better?
And if you're waiting for me to shareanswers to these questions, um, I
(03:37):
unfortunately do not have the answer.
To what are we really doing here?
Or the other slew of questions thatI just mentioned, but I do have like
an answer I came up for myself thatactually helps me move past over
overwhelm, overanalyzation, analysis,paralysis, and feelings of doom and dread.
(03:59):
So I guess what am I doinghere as me, cassandra Le?
The answer that I came up for myselfthat actually makes me feel better,
and I don't know if I am being delulu here, is that I am honestly just
here to create, to love, and to live.
Yes, it is really fucking hard todo this in a capitalist society.
(04:20):
Yes, it is really fucking hardto do this when systems of
oppression as a marginalized personmake it It's almost impossible.
And yes, it is really fuckinghard to figure out how to make
money and just live a good life.
Uh, but then I also realized thatI, I also don't want to struggle
my way through life anymore.
So I have to show up every day andchoose also disclaimer that yes.
(04:44):
It is really hard and also reallyfucking tiring So what do I mean when I
am here to create to love and to live?
So when I say that i'm here to createto me that means i'm here to reimagine
to dream to create something that Ibelieve in wholeheartedly And honestly
just share it with the world this Well,like looking back at my life when I was
(05:06):
like writing my notes for this episode.
It's manifested itself really intoCreating my business the quirky
pineapple studio creating this podcast.
I'm lost.
So what?
Creating events and workshops that I'vehosted for the community my clients It's
creating and producing the content that Ihave like my youtube channel social media
again this podcast and so many more thingsit is creating with communities I've built
(05:31):
and the communities that I'm part of likethat to me is being here to create now.
What about I am here to love?
What does this actually mean to me?
Um, to me, it means to makespaces where people feel like
they belong as a Pisces son.
I feel like I've got a lotof fucking love to give.
And I truly tried to sprinklethat in like a romanticized
(05:54):
way to everything that I do.
I know sounds super cheesy andkind of like what the heck.
But it's true.
That's just who I am.
That's just like what I mean whenI am here to love and what does it
mean when I say I am here to live?
Well, funny story.
(06:15):
I told my parents that, I guess,how do I, how do I approach this?
Like I'm here to live.
So I told my parents.
This and it pissed them off because youknow, if you are a daughter of immigrant
parents I don't know if your parentshave done this but they kind of like
expect you to live out all of thesethings and then basically pay them back
for and like Thanking them for bringingyou into this life when you didn't
(06:37):
really decide to be born or decide tobe here That's what I told my parents.
That was not a fun conversationat the dinner table.
I feel like my sisters had a little bitof a freak out moment when that happened.
But now that I am actually here,however, uh, uh, with not by choice,
technically, I just want to live my life.
I want to experience lots ofthings and I want to be an active
(07:01):
participant in life instead ofletting life happen to me, which.
Is what we'll get into next.
So I got this concept ofletting life happen to you
from YouTuber Carissa Santos.
She has a YouTube video about thisthat I've linked in the show notes.
And in her video, she shares thatletting life happen to you To you, kind
(07:27):
of looks like waiting for the rightmoment to do something, waiting for a
quote, unquote, better idea to actuallytake action, waiting for someone to
say, go, waiting for somebody to say,do it basically waiting for permission.
And I love that definition from Carissaand I want to add to it and basically
say like, okay, my definition ofletting life happen to you is similar to
(07:50):
Carissa's and it's also this feeling of.
Just waiting all the time waiting tobe chosen waiting for someone to say go
ahead It's like waiting for the lotteryand that's it And when you're letting
life happen to you life ends up in myopinion and in my experience Honestly
being chaotic when life happens to you.
(08:11):
It is like pure chaos.
You feel like there's no control.
You feel super frustrated.
You feel lost not the good kind oflost that we've talked about in this
season of the podcast You're basicallyjust floating Again, not in a good way.
I think in a previous episode, I talkedabout what floating is like and like the
(08:31):
intentional type of floating, which isbasically for me existing in the twilight
zone of opportunities and possibility,basically like time when you're just.
I'm just thinking, Oh my gosh, like thisis also possible and that's not the type
of floating that we're talking about now.
Uh, this is like the floating offree falling over here for me when
(08:53):
life is happening to you, it's justplaying the waiting game waiting for
permission for from someone game anda frustrating game that doesn't ever
really let you win It's like you'resuper close to winning and then something
happens and then you're like, oh fuck.
I lost.
I do want to say like disclaimer heredepending on whatever situation you're
(09:15):
applying this to this will vary becauseif you're feeling physically unsafe in
certain situations the quote unquoteletting life happen to you might Be
one of the safest things to do untilthere is another option available.
I am talking again from you know, myexperience and where I am currently
at in life and For me the letting lifehappen to you game ends up being just
(09:40):
me being super passive me not actuallytaking action, me not choosing something.
So what happens when welet life happen to us?
When we let life happen to us?
Is that like grammatically correct?
When we let life happen?
Yeah, I think so.
Um, okay.
So I honestly feel like letting lifehappen to us, or at least for me,
(10:03):
when I let life happen to me, itreally fell in line with the question
of what am I really doing here?
Because I didn't have the answerof what am I really doing here?
And of course, then, because I didn'thave the answer or any clarity or
direction, it made sense to not be anactive participant of life because I
(10:23):
just didn't know, like, how can I bean active participant of life if I
just don't know what's going to happen?
Or if I don't know what I want, orif I don't have a purpose, or if I
don't feel good about something, ifI don't feel connected, if I don't
actually have my personal values clear.
And when that happens, then I gotinto the thought cycle of what's
(10:44):
the point, this isn't meaningful,this makes no difference.
It's wasted time,effort, money, et cetera.
And again, I don't have the answerfor you if you are looking for okay.
Well, what is the purpose of life?
And if you want to listen to what otherpeople's purposes of life are you can
listen to season one finale episode wherea couple folks sent in their answers
(11:08):
for what is their purpose of life?
I think that episode is awesome.
And it's just really nice to hearlike how honestly people's purposes?
Is that correct?
Purposi??
No.
Purposes have changed over different,like, stages of their life.
But again, if you want to listento the episode, I will listen
to season one, uh, finale.
But I don't have, like, an actualanswer to what's the point of all
(11:31):
of this and why are you really here?
Like, I've basically just created myown kind of, like, process for this
that has helped me be less passive inlife and more of an active participant
and it's really helped me move out ofthis cycle of like mind drama and you
(11:52):
know this catch 22 of not knowing.
So why take action?
Don't know what's gonna happen So whytake action but then frustrated that
I'm not taking action frustrated thatthings are happening to me feeling
out of control but then not knowingwhat things look like on the other
side if I choose all of that cycle.
I talked about it in the lastepisode, but that is like mind
(12:14):
drama that I just do not want.
So what does it actually mean to startbeing an active participant of life,
at least in Cassandra Le definition?
And I'm going to share, I guess, thestages that I have created and it is
(12:36):
called the Creating for Yourself, I guess.
I don't know what it's called.
Creating for YourselfMethodology, I guess.
I don't really have like a formal name tothis, you know, it's not, I'm not trying
to like market something to you all.
This is just something that.
I have like brought awarenessto in my own experience.
So the Creating for Yourself.
(12:57):
Um, in my notes, I've gottenthe word for in parentheses.
So this can be taken as creating yourselfor actually creating for yourself.
And there are four parts to it.
The way I see it, I'll list the fourparts and then we'll dive into it.
So the first part is seeking it.
Being an active participant is number two.
Number three is you are here.
(13:18):
And number four is giving your voice.
So let's just Dive into the four parts ofit and kind of see how they like fit in
with actually being an active participant.
So seeking it, uh, this is for me lookingfor and finding ways to actually create.
And it doesn't need to beanything like grand or huge.
(13:43):
Uh, it could be somethingvery, very simple.
It could be like.
Classes.
It could be doing something at home.
It could be carvingout time to do X, Y, Z.
It could be the choice to eat X insteadof Y or the choice to not do something.
Basically, it's bringing awarenessto a specific situation where you can
(14:05):
actually do something differently andyou know, you recognize that there is a
choice so I guess like a really simpleone for me is that I realized that
I was Being a passive participant inlife when it came to learning Spanish.
(14:26):
I have been in Spain now fora collective of eight years.
I have picked up Spanish passively andI kind of just learned by being immersed
in the country, which is awesome.
I got to a really high level and I'mreally proud of the work that I put in.
To learn the language, but Irealized, hmm, I want to get better.
(14:47):
I want to like be fully bilingual.
I want to really perfectionize.
Is that a word?
Am I just like making upwords in this podcast episode?
I don't know, but I wanted to really.
Express myself in a way that was more, um,aligned with what I really wanted to say,
instead of kind of just like describingthings and people could understand me.
(15:11):
So that was like my passive active, likemy passive participation in Spanish.
And instead of continuously being passiveand kind of being annoyed that like my
Spanish level was kind of like plateauing.
Or that, you know, I didn't havelike the vocabulary that I really
wanted to express this specificexact thing and explain myself.
(15:32):
Like this, I decided, okay, I'mgoing to look up what it actually
takes to go to Spanish classes.
Uh, where I can take Spanish classesand how I can take Spanish classes, how
much it costs, rearranging my schedule.
All of that is actuallylike the seeking it part.
Like it is bringing awareness to asituation that, hmm, I am being passive
(15:54):
here and I don't really like it.
I mean, if you're like, okay withit, then you don't really have
to like change anything because.
You're okay with beingpassive in that part.
Like you don't have to be active ineverything, but I knew like, Hmm, I
don't really like being passive inbeing a Spanish language learner.
I want to be active in it.
So then I found honestly, likethe classes that I go to now and
(16:15):
I started rearranging things andI started figuring out, Hmm, okay.
Going to Spanish classes issomething feasible for me.
I can actually actively.
Go and be a participant in a classroom,learn from a teacher and ask questions
so that I can improve in a way thatis more applied than if I were just
(16:36):
to hear people talking on the street.
Um, the next step I think is a littlebit harder, which is going to be
coming an actual participant, and thismeans like actually taking action.
So once you've brought awareness to asituation that you realize you're letting
life happen to you, well, now it'stime to be an active participant of it
(16:59):
because like you brought that awareness.
So you can either decide to Like if youdecide, okay, you don't want to change.
Cool.
Then maybe the rest of thispodcast episode, not for you.
Maybe you could just turn this off now,but if you decide that you do want to
change, then this is where we have tostart taking action to make it happen.
(17:19):
Like what I described previouslyin like the consciousness seeking
it portion of my, like, I guess,methodology, I'll put it in air quotes.
You can't see me doing air quotes, butair quote methodology is I started.
Looking up information, I startedseeing, okay, where can I, you know,
rearrange my schedule, um, how willI get to classes, those things.
(17:43):
So really once you've broughtawareness to the situation.
Now it's time to takeaction to make it happen.
What does that actually look like?
Okay, We already talked about recognizingthat you want something to change and then
deciding that you're going to change it.
And then this is of course themost important is Taking the action
(18:03):
to change and then repeating it.
I talked about this in the last episodeof how to get your shit together and live
your best life if you haven't listened tothat I've linked it in the show notes of
this episode But this is when you know,you start building out an action plan.
You start setting goals You start buildingin systems to like support this and
(18:25):
again I I also want to mention like yeahI can say take action take action do
the thing do the thing and like peopleare going to look at me and be like
What the fuck Cassandra like it's hard.
And then yeah, it's really hard.
Uh, this is when I really also wantto reiterate how important discipline
and self compassion are for thisstage because I feel like discipline
and When we apply it in this stage ofthis methodology and in life of being
(18:48):
an active participant of life andlike not letting life happen to us.
I feel like discipline is just likeshowing up day after day and then tied in
with self compassion is really importantbecause some days we don't show up.
And having that self compassionto basically be like, Hmm, okay, I
didn't show up today, but you know.
(19:11):
I give myself grace.
I understand.
I'm gonna still show up tomorrow.
And not fully, like, giveup on ourselves, you know?
Like, I'm talking aboutthis, like, you and me.
But really, like, for myself.
Like, I remember when I didn't show upto something where, like I said, I was
gonna commit and then I, like, faltered.
And of course, like, I didn't have thediscipline at that point, so then I
(19:32):
felt bad about myself and then I gotinto, like, this whole spiral of Oh my
gosh, I can't keep up with anything.
This sucks.
I suck.
I can't make it.
change.
This is really hard.
I knew it was a bad idea.
But when I apply the self compassionto myself, then I'm able to recognize
that, Hmm, I can pause and I don't suck.
(19:54):
And that there are lots of things thatI can give to myself, like the grace
that I was talking about to continueagain tomorrow or try again tomorrow.
Like it doesn't have to be perfect.
Every single time I can continue tryingand that's I mean this whole process which
I think I mentioned it or I will mentionit later on but this is not like a one
(20:16):
and done checklist type of thing y'alllike this is a continuous long process of
Quote unquote being an active participantof life or not letting life happen to you.
So, okay That was beingan active participant.
We talked about seeking it the third.
I don't know what to call theseStage, third pass, I guess stage,
(20:36):
the third stage of this methodologyis what I call you are here.
Okay, so in this stage, forme, this is like when I feel
super excited, proud of myself.
I did it.
I'm here.
I'm on the other side of one, bringingawareness to a situation that I don't
like, then being an active participantand taking action to change it.
(20:58):
And I'm on the other side.
And.
This is like, I think when mostpeople are like, Oh my gosh, I did it.
One and done.
Here we go.
We made it.
Yay.
Um, when in reality, this again is wherediscipline and self compassion, uh, still
need to be applied because it, you mightgo back and forth or you might like falter
(21:20):
or, um, You might, you know, stick withit for a long time and then something
changes and then you fall off or Youstick with it for like two weeks and then
something changes and then you fall off.
Before we get into that though,when you make it to the other side
I do think there are a couple thingsthat are super important to do.
(21:40):
It's It's important to, at least forme, acknowledge that I actually did it.
So something like right in the beginningof this podcast episode for the finale, I
talked about how I had this idea for thispodcast back in, I think, June of 2022.
And I actually brought it to life becauseI was like, Hmm, something is not working
(22:02):
and, or something feels restless in me andI want to bring forth a creative project.
I just want to acknowledge that I actuallydid it now after acknowledging it to
yourself or if you want to acknowledgeit to somebody else then I think for me,
it's always really important to celebratethese things because It like helps me to
(22:23):
pause and not be in like a go go go modeas a recovering workaholic I am always
on the go and i'm always looking for likethe next thing the next like milestone
the next like stage Or level to cross off.
And when I take a moment to celebrateany big or small thing, really,
(22:44):
it helps to kind of pause or makeme pause and then really recognize
all of the effort and energy, time,money, whatever I put into achieving.
What it is that I wanted to do.
So I haven't figured out what I'm goingto do to celebrate season two yet, but
if you have any recommendations or ideas,you can always send me an Instagram
(23:06):
message @CassandraTLe, and I will gladlytake any ideas or recommendations.
Uh, to celebrate, maybeI will, I don't know yet.
I'm gonna have to think about this.
I'll think about it afterthis episode though.
And again, after celebrating, bringingback discipline and self compassion
because I know, you know, you thinkyou made it after one thing, but
(23:30):
really it's continuously sticking toit and giving yourself grace and self
compassion when you don't stick to it.
And getting back into it.
Anyways, even when you falter, I alsothink in this, like, you are here stage.
It's Important to ask two questions onceyou've like made it to the other side,
(23:55):
you know, you are here Now it's time toask the question, and this isn't like
the question, this question doesn'thave to come completely or immediately
after arriving to this here, quote,unquote, this question can come a little
bit after sometime after maybe it'swhen you are back in the seeking it
(24:16):
stage and you're kind of like, Hmm, Idon't know something I needed to take
a moment and kind of just like reflect.
So the two questions.
That I think is important to askin the you are here stage is one.
Do you like it here?
Because if you do, awesome.
Let's keep going.
Let's keep up with it.
This is great.
No changes.
Yay.
(24:36):
And if you don't like it here, nowwe have to go back to the drawing
board and do something else.
And I feel like this is when a lot ofpeople, me included, feel like, oof.
I put in all that time and effortand energy into this thing only
to realize that I didn't likeit and I don't like it here.
(24:59):
And this has happened to me, I think, forexample, with like The Quirky Pineapple
Studio, um, back in 2020, for example, Irealized, okay, something had to change.
And I wanted to find differentways to support clients.
So I launched a mastermind anda membership to support people
through like marketing coaching.
(25:20):
And it worked really well.
I was like loving it for probablylike six to eight months.
And then I got to a pointwhere I was like, Oh shit.
I'm really fucking tired.
I was like exhausted.
I basically built out this entire thing.
And then.
I was in burnout mode, uh,for a really long time.
(25:43):
And I had to ask the question cause Ithought, Oh, I made it to the other side.
Like I am offering one to oneservices through our agency and
also offering a education side.
So I had like my dreamof a hybrid business.
And I had to ask thequestion, do I like it here?
And honestly.
My answer was no, I do not like it here.
(26:04):
I hated it here.
My partner was like, uh,Cassandra, you might want to rest.
And it was like, I cannot rest because I.
I have all these clientsI need to support.
I have all these things I need to do.
Uh, the business willliterally crumble if I do not.
And I had to pause and I had to goback to the drawing board and go
back to the seeking it stage of, Hmm.
(26:26):
Okay.
Well, something has to change.
What do I do now?
And that is when I moved back intothis cycle of, okay, seeking it.
What do I want to change?
Not only what do I want to change?
How am I going to change it?
And then the active participant mode oftaking action which is when I started to
actually take action to change and Now I'mback in this you are here stage of cool.
(26:52):
I removed coaching And educationand I focus on the agency and now
we are back in the you are here.
And now I'm asking myself that question.
Do I like it here?
Uh, we're still figuring out the answer.
I'm working on it.
I will let you all knowwhen I have it, but.
I, I don't know, we're going to,we're going to figure it out together.
(27:14):
So that is stage number three.
The last stage is what I like tocall the giving your voice stage.
So this is stage four, but it'snot necessarily the last stage
of this entire process to beingan active participant of life.
I personally love this stage and it'sprobably one of the most difficult
after the taking action, because now.
(27:35):
It's moving into making deeper impact.
It's time to give like myvoice and find community.
It's me surrounding myself with otherswho are in a similar situation, uh,
who have similar goals, who wantto, or who like share in my vision.
It is really leaning into communityand resourcing myself to continue
(28:00):
to be an active participant of life.
Um, that means like findingpeople to keep me accountable.
Finding or like keeping othersaccountable who are in my circle.
It is really moving togetherto make a bigger impact.
And the reason why I say this stageis probably one of the most difficult
after the taking action is becauseit's Like a scary stage because
(28:24):
it's not just about you anymoreor in my case me Really you or me.
It's not just about the individual.
It's now thinking about the collective,which is scary because now you're
taking like Active participant oflife not letting life happen to you
in a whole other scale It's reallylike putting yourself out there
and having people call you out andin and allowing that to happen.
(28:48):
Not in like a cancel way, but likein a hey I care about you and like
have you thought about it likethis different perspective way.
It's learning And also admitting thatyou have more to learn and it's not
staying in your bubble of like tryingit's actually fully committing And
saying hey Not only do I commit tothis for myself, I hold this commitment
(29:12):
for the collective, for the community,for the greater good of others.
Like, now we're getting into, like,meta thinking, and this, I think,
is really fucking terrifying.
I feel like most of the time, weonly get to like stages one to
three, like the seeking it activeparticipant and the you are here stage.
And then we just like repeat those threebecause moving into the giving your voice
(29:34):
stage of like surrounding yourself withcommunity, doing something else to make
a larger impact, thinking about like yourimpact, not as an individual, but like
as a greater collective is even scarier.
Also scarier to like take action ona bigger scale than just like doing
something within like your personallife, but I feel like reaching stage
(29:56):
four and actively Participating in itand not letting life or getting caught
in the letting life happen to you.
Stages one to three portion.
I hope I'm making sense.
Y'all like I have like anoutline in front of me too.
I'm like reading this.
Um, let me know if this makes sense.
Send me a message on Instagram@CassandraTLeE if you got lost in here
(30:19):
and I can always like elaborate more, but.
I do feel like the giving your voice stageis probably the stage that we are missing
a lot of because this is- this is liketaking it up a notch y'all like this is
moving together to do something biggerand then it's real and it's also realizing
(30:40):
that as an individual you only have somuch power energy money time, etc to
give and that to Do something bigger andmore impactful, something more helpful.
You need more people with you.
And that is the scary part becauseonce you start incorporating more
(31:01):
people in our current capitalistsociety, it gets more complicated.
Although it doesn't have to be anyways.
Let me re summarize the four stagesagain to the creating for yourself
methodology coined by CassandraLe.The first one, seeking it.
Second, being an active participant.
Third, you are here.
(31:21):
And fourth, giving your voice.
I feel like it's a good time to mentionhere that again, this process is also not
linear and being an active participantof life isn't like a checklist.
I also want to say like being anactive participant of life in all
areas of life, um, I don't want tosay that it is impossible, but it
(31:42):
does require lots of change and work.
And sometimes I feel like We wantto be active participants like if we
are conscious to this like we wantto do all the things all the time and
Like unfortunately, we just can't dueto like time energy money capacity,
whatever but sometimes I will saylike some areas will take precedent
over over others, and that is okay.
(32:04):
I don't want to say like, Oh yeah,if you're not doing it all at the
same time, like you suck and I suck.
No, like sometimes I just can't.
Like for example, this year I decidedthat my driver, my Spanish driver's
license and learning Spanish are goingto take precedent over other things.
I don't know what those other thingsare yet because I'm going off the
(32:24):
cuff now, but those things are takingprecedent this year and next year it will
probably be something else next year.
It could be like finding a fitnesscommunity because this year I'm
kind of like setting the foundationfor regular exercise and like
working on my fitness journey.
So I don't think like we need to beactive all the time and all the things I
(32:45):
do feel like we can't not mainly becauseof the current way, like our society
is set up, but that probably has to beanother conversation for another day.
I do think the most important thing forme, uh, is just being aware of all the
areas I want to become more of an activeparticipant and less of a bystander.
Like if I'm aware of that, then atleast I can kind of decide, okay,
(33:07):
I'm going to work on this this year.
And then next year I'm going to work on.
This the other thing and then theyear after that I'm going to work on
this other thing and slowly It'll justlike build up over time because I'll
just bring more consciousness and moreintention to specific areas And yes,
some things may fall off to the side,but that's kind of just me This is where
I think the seeking it stage which isstage one of this whole methodology is
(33:32):
important because then if I am awareof it, then I can like Re add it to the
list and check it out for next time.
Or if I'm aware of it, then I cantake note of it and see where I
can like switch things in and out.
It's, it's like a thing thatwe're always working on, which I
know sounds really tiring, right?
Like that's when sometimes some of myclients ask about marketing and they're
(33:55):
like, does this like thing ever turn offand technically marketing never turns
off, but if you have specific marketingfoundations, not that this is a marketing
podcast, but as an example, if you havespecific marketing foundations, then
they will be running and supporting youwithout you needing to always be on.
And I feel like that's like the samething with all of the, like these
(34:17):
personal things that I'm talking about.
Like there are certain systemsand foundations that we can set up
where we don't always need to beon, but they just help us keep us.
Just help us keep ourselves incheck and intentional and aware.
I don't think like we have togive XYZ 100 percent all the time.
That's a lot.
(34:37):
Like some days, I just don't have 100percent to give and I think that's okay.
Well y'all, we've reached the end.
Season two.
I'm lost.
So what podcast before we completelysay goodbye, I want to share three
journaling prompts, or I guessexploratory questions for you all.
(34:59):
If you want to dive deeper into this.
The first question is, where are youalready an active participant of life?
Got to recognize that got tocelebrate it, got to acknowledge it.
The second one is what areasdo you feel like you're waiting
for life to happen to you?
And the third one is what next, ifyou actually bring consciousness
to that awareness to it, what next?
(35:20):
What are you going to do next?
If you decide not to doanything, that's okay too.
That is also a choice within itself.
And if you decide something has tochange, then what is going to change?
Alright, those are the journaling prompts.
I feel like that's a lot.
Thank you.
for being here.
Thank you for your continuedsupport for this podcast.
(35:42):
If you like this podcast, if you reallylove all of the nuanced conversations
that we explore, I invite you andlike you want to support this podcast.
I have a link in the shownotes to buy me a coffee.
It is not.
Required but always very nice since I amfunding this podcast on my own any coffee
(36:05):
helps or just like, you know monetarydonation helps to Help me cover the cost
for bringing this podcast into the world.
I want to give a shout out to Georgiawho is our podcast coordinator and
making these episodes silky smooth,helping by sharing her opinions
and supporting the production.
I want to shout out Mario, my partner forpulling together clips to share across
(36:28):
social media and also giving his opinions,supporting and suggesting episode topics.
And I want to be honest with y'all seasonthree is currently not in production.
I want to take some time to revisit thestrategy and direction of this podcast.
I still want this to be a place to reallyshare nuance conversations and for others
to reference for nuance conversations.
(36:49):
So I want to take a pause onthe next season to kind of
workshop it a little bit more.
So if you would love to hear specificthings or, you know, you have specific
feedback for me, whether it's liketopic ideas or formats of the episodes,
uh, any type of feedback at all.
(37:09):
You can send me a message on Instagram@CassandraTLe but until then, um, I
appreciate you all and I appreciatethat you listen and, you know,
take this all in, explore thesenuanced conversations with me around
identity, culture, and belonging.
And Until the next episode, Iwill see y'all on the internet.
(37:34):
Stay fierce fam.
If you're hearing this message, that meansyou made it to the end of the episode.
Yay.
Thanks for listening.
If you enjoyed this conversation andhad an idea on future topics you'd
like to see covered on the podcast.
Send me a message on Instagram@CassandraTLe with your idea.
If we decide to explore the topic,we'll also give you a shout out.
(37:55):
Want to hang out with me inother areas of the internet?
Subscribe to the Doing Good newsletterto receive exclusive access to personal
musings from me and podcast guests.
Find the link in the show notes anddon't forget to subscribe if you haven't.
Thank you and see you in the next episode.
Stay fierce fam.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.