Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Thank you for doing. This thanks for having me it was
fun last night right we're. Getting ready for the grandpa
and sinker. I walk out with my handbag and
my goofy and I go OK, and I look, it's 15 naked guys.
(00:27):
There's no bigger success for inmy career than deal or no deal.
And she is partially responsible.
Totally responsible. She's my best friend.
In my darkest moments, we have had the most guttural, deepest,
hardest laughs. Ever suicidal?
I'd be lying if I said it, didn't it?
(00:49):
It never crossed my mind. What stands out to you most from
that Hawaii trip? It's paralyzing.
It was the most unexpected paralyzing moment I would
imagine in anybody's life. The only thing I have is
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moments. Moments are my currency and it's
what you do with what comes at you that makes a difference.
So I wanted to start off by talking to you about pranks,
actually. Yeah, that's, as I understand
it, kind of a key part of your life over the years.
(01:32):
But how about the art prank thatwas played on you?
Yes, it was a it was a a gift for my 50th birthday.
So my real good friends presented me with this kind of
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abstract art piece and they toldme that and and with a letter
saying that the artist had won. That's the Beverly Hills Art
Show. And I'll be honest, I didn't
love it, but I loved it because I thought that these are my good
friends and family who know whatI love and I love art.
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And just the thought of them going out and spending what I
thought was probably a fortune for the winner of this art show
on something that they thought Iwould love.
So it meant more to me than justwhatever the face value of
whatever I thought that art was.It's like if somebody sang me a
song, I'm not going to judge thesong even if I don't like the
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song. But if you're singing it for me
and they came to sing this song or they wrote this song about
me, I would love it even more, right?
Just humanity. And I loved it.
And we put it, I put it up in a in a nice place in our house.
Prominently displayed. Prominently displayed in the
living room in the IT was the first.
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It was like a yet the I put it in the best place you could put
it if you want. It'd be because it meant more to
me than anything if people walked by and said, what's this?
And I go, this is the first place winner.
The Beverly Art Show purchased by my best friends for my 50th
birthday. And anyway, we moved and my
wife, I, I was taking the art and she said she really didn't
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love it. Is there any way you can have
it? You can put it in your office,
You can put it in. So in the second house, I had a,
we had a, we worked with a decorator and that decorator
made a room where I could put it.
And also based on the colors in the, in the painting, bought
some furniture. That's, that's the whole thing.
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The room looked great with the art.
And then at the, the house that I'm living in now, we built and
my wife said, is there any way that we can not have that piece
of art? I don't want to build around
that piece of art. Is there any way?
And I said, you know what, I've enjoyed it for like 20 years or
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whatever, almost 20 years. What I'm going to do is I'm
going to donate it on behalf of me and our family to a, an
orphanage. It is an orphanage and they'll
put it in their lobby and it wasdonated by Howie Mandel and
family, a piece of art which sits prominently.
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And maybe even I can get like for donating this piece of art.
I'm not going to take a, a big amount, but maybe it's a good
tax break too, you know, you know, a tax exempt.
And I did that. And then lo and behold, my, I
think it's 65th birthday came around, might have been 67th.
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They presented me with a card, and in the card there was a
Polaroid picture of them all sitting around drunk in one of
their apartments, throwing painton a canvas.
And that paint was the painting.It wasn't a Beverly Hills, it
was just a mess of four drunk guys.
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But to this day, there is an orphanage here in Los Angeles
that has a framed piece of art donated by the Mandel family.
Do you think they know? If they're fans of you.
How did Candid Camera shape yourcomedy?
It shaped my life. Not my comedy, my life.
(05:40):
Candid Camera and Alan Funt you know, my my fondest and warmest
and clearest memories of life asa child all kind of are
surrounded by laughter. And even though you know, 'cause
I, I couldn't articulate that I was struggling with mental
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health and OCD. My, my mom tells stories about,
you know, if they would cross, if, if three people would sit in
the room with their legs crossedand one person crossed me other
way, even as a baby crawling, I would stop and get upset.
I wanted them to uncross their legs.
So it was like nothing is something wasn't.
I don't know. I don't remember that, but so
I'm told, but I know that I always struggled internally.
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I do also know that I had this amazing upbringing and my
parents. There was no question about how
much love and support there was for me, but and there was a lot
of laughter in my house. And when there was laughter was
in the other room, you know, 'cause the kids went to bed and
then they would be laughing. And it was just, it was like a
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magnet. I just knew that that not only
if I laughed, but if somebody else laughed, there's an
endorphin there. I just wanted to be around the
light. And, and my dad would bring home
comedy albums of which I didn't understand anything 'cause I was
two or three years old. And they'd, I'd hear a man
talking or a woman talking. And then the audience and my
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parents would laugh. Or they'd be watching TV and The
Tonight Show or Steve Allen or Jack Paar at the time, And a
comedian would be on and I'd hear and he'd be talking and
he'd say something and my parents would laugh.
And I'd sit there and I have no idea what this is.
If he's talking about his mother-in-law, I don't even know
what a mother-in-law is. You know, I'm two or three years
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old on One particular memory that is so strong for me is Alan
Funt's Candid Camera on a Sundaynight, which is a prank show.
I didn't know that I didn't understand, and I couldn't
articulate. But I was sitting there with my
parents watching, and Alan Funt was about to do a prank.
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And he explained to us what he was going to do.
And I was articulate enough to understand the prank.
And he told me specifically that, you know, he was going to
pretend to be a boss. They hired these women to be
receptionists. The receptionist would come in,
he'd explain that he's going outfor lunch.
The phone with the phone rings. You got to answer it and you got
to take a message. And you can't miss one message
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because if you miss a message, you're not going to have this
job. And that's very important to me
for you to get every call. And then he explained to us at
home that with the receptionistsdon't know is there is a cable
attached to the leg of the desk.And when she goes to reach for
the phone to answer the phone, somebody on the other side of
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the wall is going to pull this cable, the whole desk and the
phone is going to slide across the room and they won't know.
Real easy to understand for evena kid, you know, for a baby, you
know, I'm going to take this table and I'm going to pull this
table. When he told us this, it was
that anticipation. I remember turning back to my
parents and we were just laughing, going, Oh my God, like
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what's going to happen? And it was that same feeling
like a surprise party. You know, they're coming up the
driveway and for for the first time, I realized that me and my
parents were on the exact same wavelength, anticipating this
joyous. I didn't know how we were going
to react, but Oh my God, he justbrought us into the into the
show. He told me what's going to
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happen. And I can't wait.
And my parents can't wait. And we're just sitting there.
The first receptionist young lady comes in and the phone
rings as she goes to reach it, the desk goes away.
And there was a guttural like itwas the just seeing her freak
out, the laughter and that feeling.
And I turned around and my parents were like tearing and
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laughing and we were all laughing together.
And there was just this release of whatever laughter releases.
I don't know if they're endorphins.
I don't know what what it is, but it's just like, it was just
the most wonderful thing and it was great.
And I continually throughout life, I tried to recapture that,
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that moment. And after that, I, I wasn't
intelligent enough or advanced enough to realize that this is
ATV show number one, that I'm watching with an audience with
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the, the, the, the mission to make that audience laugh.
Didn't understand that what I did understand or what I in my
as a child, 6, maybe 5-4 to six years old, that if you do
something funny that scares somebody, that makes them feel
awkward, you're going to laugh and it's going to be, it's going
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to feel really good. OK, on the awkward front, you
wrote. The more awkward, annoying or
humiliating the situation is, the funnier.
For me, because laughter is, youknow, you can obtain laughter in
many ways. You can tickle somebody and make
them laugh. It's not, it's not the same
thing. But if you get somebody, if you
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couldn't control it in my mind, I, and I think I'm not a a
psychologist, but I feel so out of control and, and I'm not able
to control where my mind is going to dark places, my fears,
my neurosis, that when I do something not to be mean, but
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when I do something where I can control your, we're not.
If I can pull that desk away andmake you go, Oh my God, what
happened to me? It's making me laugh.
And that's what I'm always trying to do.
I'm always trying to regain thatthing now.
I never understood. Now I do, but I never understood
that I don't have an audience. Like I never told my friends I
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didn't have friends. Wait, on the friend front, how
about having your buddy cross dress in the airport?
That's something that's equally as funny to remember, and I'm
ashamed of myself, really, for going that far.
Yes. Why?
I don't want to upset anybody and I don't want to ruin
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anybody's day and I don't want to ruin anybody's moment.
That's all we have is moments and that's all we have is time.
And I don't want to, I don't want you to have any bad time in
your life because of something that I did and that was that
went too far. I didn't know where to stop.
And he got really, really angry.Really, really embarrassed.
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Really. It's a funny story.
He's wearing a dress on a 5 hourflight because he thinks that's
the only way he could go on tourwith me, you know, because
apparently the budget was so that they weren't, they were
going to get opening acts in every stop that I had.
And then that's what we told him.
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And that the only way he could travel was as my, my wife or my
significant other, because American Airlines or whatever
airlines it was, was offering A2Fer, you know, and where I could
buy a ticket and my wife would fly for free, which made no
sense because it was under his name, you know, and, and it was
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kind of funny because I, I, I love the squirming.
So he'd be in a dress and I would send the flight attendant
over to his seat to ask for his tickets.
And he was nervous that he was going to get caught.
And I told the flight attendantswhat was happening.
They couldn't believe that this guy was sitting in a dress.
And they would say, well, Louise, his name is Lou.
Lou Dinos. Why is your name different than
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Mr. Mandel's? And you're traveling on his
thing. And he, he, he just was sweat
and a dress. He would just go, it's my maid,
my maiden name. I kept my maiden name.
And you'd hear him talking like that and it makes you laugh.
But he was suffering the whole flight, the whole flight.
And then there's no pants. He's wearing a dress.
He's in front of 300 people. It's it's it was too too much
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too far. Impacted the friendship.
Yeah. Mm.
Hmm. I mean, we're friends today, but
I've apologized and continue to apologize many times.
You know, he's gotten in troublebecause of some of the, the
pranks. You know, I I sent a, a little
boy to his house. It was Mark who you met here.
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The Boy Meets World. His nephew was in town.
He was seven years old. I sent him to Lou's apartment
sometime in the middle of the night with a little note saying,
I'm your son. You don't know if I was some
waitress you met who is no longer with us and didn't know
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what to do. So on her deathbed, she sent him
with a plane ticket and a note to Lou.
And Lou called me and said, you're not going to believe it.
I have a son. My son is here.
I was in bed. He woke me up at 3:00 in the
morning. And I said, I don't believe you
put the kid on. And they put the kid on.
And I had instructions for the kid.
I said, when you give the phone back and I want you to scream,
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nobody loves me, nobody cares for me.
And run out the door and down the hall of the apartment and
there's a car Mark's waiting for.
Your uncle's waiting for you down below.
He gives the phone back to Lou. And Lou, Can you believe this?
My life has changed forever. And this kid runs.
You can hear in the background, nobody loves me, nobody cares
for me. And it runs.
And you Lou drops the phone and in his underpants, This is
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through three in the morning. He's running, there's an 8 year
old little boy and he's running through an apartment building
going I love you, I want to carefor you.
And they called the That's not agood, it's not a good story.
You said as a comic, I believe there's no such thing as too
soon and there's no such thing as too far.
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I don't believe there's a line. There isn't, not in comedy.
I don't believe there's a line. I I am appalled at anybody who
cancels doxes prevents anybody from practicing this art form.
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You don't have to like it. You can be offended by it.
You could be appalled by it, butwe shouldn't be censoring it and
stopping it. You know, it's the beauty of
comedy. And I, I've talked about this
many times. You know, it it, you know, even
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in regular life when people aren't comedians, sometimes up
until recently, maybe even now, you know, you might say
something in an office workspaceand somebody might get offended.
You used to be able to say I'm only joking.
Oh, I thought you were serious. That kind of if if they believed
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that you were doing it in the context of a joke, then it was
OK. You're not really.
That's where you were trying to be funny.
Maybe you missed the mark. Maybe you said something
offensive. And that's not even a comedian.
But in the world of stand up comedy, in the world of stand up
comedy, think of it as it is an art form.
Think of a painter. Is there something you shouldn't
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be allowed to paint? You don't have to like the
painting. You don't have to like the
Mapplethorpe, the Mapplethorpe'sof this world, you know, the
nudity, the the depictions or whatever.
And you don't have to buy it. You don't have to hang it in
your house. You don't have to.
But what you can't, you can't say you can't use the color
green. You can't use it.
You're gonna I'll let you be a painter, but you can't use the
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color green. I'll let you be an orator, but
you can't use these words. You can't talk about this time.
You can't talk about this event.I understand people getting
offended, but you know the the beauty.
When I first went to a comedy club my very first time, and
that's when I got dared to go on, I never heard live people
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talking like I wasn't allowed totalk in the house, like you
can't talk in the workplace and within the context of maybe
things that were happening that to us as human beings that
people don't talk about openly. What I was saying was when I
came out here, I watched RichardPryor.
He was the first comic that I was aware that was doing this.
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Richard Pryor every night putting together live on the
Sunset Strip. And it's out of context now, but
in at that time to talk about drug addiction, his near death
experiences, his upbringing, youknow, he's raised in a brothel
and things like, I mean, I mean,I remember being at the Comedy
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Store. It was jaw-dropping, but it was
so authentic and real and that, you know, and, and you say he
could do it because it's him, but it's just like, you have to
find the sense. I have to find the sense of
humor. There is humor in everything,
and humor always comes from darkness and bad.
If you watch a clown falling down and you laugh at that,
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you're laughing at the at at somebody else's misfortune.
That's what you 2 guys walk intoa bar.
It's not a joke unless somethinghorrible happens to one of them
are embarrassing or awkward. It always you have to find
that's why tragedy and comedy are those two masks.
They're very, very similar. So if something tragic happens,
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sometimes the panacea for some people, for me and my friends
and the people that I admire, isto make a joke and.
You said at some point in the the past few years the windows
closing on the art form, which Ithink is really scary and really
debilitating. Yes, explain that.
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Well, I think the pendulum is coming back.
So that was a darker time. But I feel like my friends were
getting losing their jobs and losing their income because of
things they were saying. You know, I was really good
friends with Gilbert Gottfried. Who I loved.
He was a really good human being.
You know, he lost that whole Aflac campaign because he wrote
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something on Twitter about the tsunami.
I think in Taiwan at the time. He tried to make a joke, whether
the joke's funny or not. He lost a a good portion of his
income. I'm not arguing whether it was a
good joke. I'm not arguing whether it was a
tasteful joke. But he is a comedian, so because
he did a joke, he got punished. And when we start punishing
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people for talking or for doing or for practicing their art
form, that's kind of scary, isn't it, 'cause I'll speak for
myself, you know? This is who I am, You know,
everything I've ever been punished for, expelled for,
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gotten in trouble for is what I seem to get paid for now.
Nobody recognized this as an artform.
You know, I, I bumped into people now, said they were in my
high school. I was the funniest guy there.
They weren't my friends. They didn't like me.
Nobody liked me. I was odd.
But you know, there's a saying. There's a time and a place.
I guess school and in the early,late 60s and early 70s was not
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the time or the place. Well, speaking.
Of being odd Before you realizedyou, I think, wanted to be a
professional comedian, you were just starting out in the
professional world, your office in the bathroom stall and.
That was, I was in the carpet business.
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I thought it was really, I always thought I, I, I'm
fascinated. I've, I've talked to you earlier
about being fascinated. I'm curious and I love to see
people react. I want a reaction, not only a
laugh, but that awkward reactionyou spoke of.
So I had business cards made-up,you know, and I, and so I was
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kind of serious. I was in retail, I was in, I had
a carpet. I was in the carpet business
this before I had my own, my ownplace, But people would come in
and they'd buy the carpet and I'd go, you know, OK, come into
my office. I'm going to write up the order.
And I would my office. I made my office the stall in
the men's room. And you know, it's really funny.
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I learned that, you know people,it's kind of interesting.
It's kind of a great social. I think I live in a social
experiment. I'm always experimenting
socially to see where the boundary is, where the bar will
somebody speak up? It's kind of funny for me to sit
down and write contracts on a toilet and with a guy and his
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whole family standing outside the stall.
The guy's in the stall and they're signing.
Sometimes they'd say nothing, not even react.
To me, that's almost funnier than it's definitely funnier
than somebody going, you're a nut, you're doing something
crazy funny, you want us to comeinto the bath, you're nuts.
But, you know, these are momentsthat I enjoyed, you know, like
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in the carpet business I would sometimes.
Just to see how. They'd react, you know, the
family's there, I'm in their house is a captive audience,
'cause I'd have to leave they ina store, They could walk out, I
would. Lie.
Down, not at the base of the couch and, and draw their floor
plan on my body and my belly button.
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And I'd go and I'd lie there seriously and you'd see that
they were just uncomfortable while the shirtless guy is
drawing their living room, dining room and three bedrooms
on their body. And then I'd have them point
out. So you want the where do you
want the, the you want the plushor the shag in this room here,
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or do you want that? And eventually what I found
funny is you'd see it. They'd go from uncomfortable to
giving up and just saying, you know, it's comfortable.
And then they're just going see by your the the room off of your
belly button there. That's where we want the that's
where we're going to want the gold.
The gold should go from your belly button up to your nipple.
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And then we want it the other carpet, where are the stairs by
my other nipple and and they it would become part of the norm.
And I find that incredibly fascinating and funny and
interesting and educational. So.
You're working now on your own, running your own carpet
business. Explain the impact of your
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decision to take out 52 half page ads, one a week, in the
local newspaper. Because I, that's again, so my,
well, that was my, that's my business acumen.
That's what's, you know, I, it was like a shop at home service,
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right? You'd see an ad and then we
would come out with me or the salesman would come out with
samples and write up orders. So how did they know that it
wasn't a showroom at offices? So I'd have to take out ads in
the in the local papers and on the radio.
And that is a huge overhead. It's a big expense to buy ads in
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newspapers. So I, you know, you talked to
the sales staff and then you found out that if you bought, if
you guaranteed you could have a half page or 1/4 page every week
or like, I don't know if it was the Saturday star, I can't
remember exactly which which paper it was or any, I, I was
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buying in all three papers. I'd have a, an ad if I, if I
guaranteed 52 weeks, then it wasnot just marginally very much
cheaper, but I had to guarantee and huge amounts of money,
thousands and thousands of dollars.
So I would guarantee there wouldbe an ad running for my carpet
place every week in every paper.That's a, that's an over that's
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a huge overhead whether I was making sales or not.
So I did I I bought in advance and I bought in in bulk, which
could have been well, it was theend of one of the the companies,
but I just restarted again NorthAmerican.
Carpet sales north. American carpet sales, which
actually I ended up bankrupting and then because I overspent and
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started another one spring. Of 1977 Amateur night Yuk Yuks
in Toronto. Your friends are encouraging you
to go up. Take it from there.
Well. It's, it's, it's just a quick
response to Mark Breslin, who isthe owner and he was the MC of
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Yuck Yucks and asks. You to stay after when you get
off. He made an announcement after I
saw my first stand up comedy show live.
If anybody feels like they can do this, I'm trying to remember
specifically if it was that night or come back Monday, but
it was if you think you can do this, we do an amateur hour
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where everybody gets to come up for like 3 minutes.
So if anybody wants to do it, sign up and we'll put you up
either Monday night at midnight or after this show at midnight.
Or I know it was April 19th, 1977 when I went up and I'll
tell you why. I know that.
But I, somebody at the table went you should go up and I just
(27:44):
went, OK, I'll do it. And not because I had any
aspirations to be in show business, not because I had any,
nor did I think I was funny or astand up comic or anything.
Just because somebody said you should go up and I went OK.
I've said OK to everything, you know, until deal or no deal.
(28:04):
But, but that was probably one of the first times I, I put a
block up. But I said OK.
And if I had to analyze what I was doing, you know, I said OK
and it'll be fun. Maybe some people will show up
and it would be funny for them at a comedy club.
There's no reason in hell that somebody should be saying,
ladies and gentlemen, Howie Mandel.
So therein lies. If there is a joke, that's the
(28:26):
joke. The joke is Howie Mandel's
coming out. He's not a comedian.
He doesn't want to be a comedian.
He's never done this before. He's not prepared.
It's just funny. I can't believe you did that.
And that would be the joke. That would be the joke.
That's as much thought as I put into it.
So I remember being in the back hall and somebody goes, ladies
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and gentlemen, Howie Mandel and I walk out and I and there's a
big applause and I'm just looking.
And when I walk out, if you've ever been on a stage, it's it's
blinding. It's blinding.
It's not like you, you can't seethe room.
People think you could see them.You can't see the room.
So that these lights are in my face and all I could see is the
(29:12):
foam on the microphone in front of me and I'm standing there
like this. And at that time, you know,
smoking was, you know, in small places was not frowned upon and
especially in clubs. So it's billowing smoke in my
face. So it's this haze and it's the.
And within seconds, the applausestops and people sit and wait.
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And then I'm there and I and I didn't have a plan.
I didn't have a plan. And I look down, you could see
the front row, and there's people smoking and looking up at
you like, OK, funny boy. And the adrenaline, the
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embarrassment, the fear, the terror, it's just going, oh, my
God. Like I should have thought of
something. And that's what I started.
I started going, OK, OK, OK, allright, all right, all right, OK.
And they started giggling at my adrenaline and fear and they
start giggling. And I didn't really under I, I,
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I, I wasn't in tune enough that they started, they all started
laughing and I went, what? What?
No, tell me, tell me, tell me what?
OK, well, hear something. Here's something.
You want to hear something. And I heard myself say you want
to hear something, you got to make a noise.
And I or I would do things like just like bad, bad.
I go, I'd go. It's an inside joke.
(30:42):
And, and I used to carry a, I carried a bag that was in the
shape of a hand. There was a handbag.
So I got it's a handbag. And they laughed at that.
And then I, I didn't know what. I was terrified.
I put my hands in my pocket, andbecause I have OCD and I'm
afraid of germs, I was carrying always rubber gloves that I
would buy at the drugstore, latex gloves.
I pulled out one of the gloves and they're just standing.
(31:03):
OK, OK, OK. And I don't know why I just
pulled it over my head. I've never done that before.
I'd never done it at home. I'd never done it anywhere.
I pulled it over my head and over my nose.
And I started breathing in and out in the nose and I didn't
realize the fingers were going up and down.
And I heard the audience laughing.
And then I realized, oh, it's I'm breathing.
So I started blowing it up more,more and more, and I kept
blowing and they were roaring. And then I popped it off my head
(31:26):
and everybody applauded. And my natural instinct went,
whoa, this is a closer good night.
And I ran off stage and Mark Breslin was standing in the
hall. And he goes, you got to come
back and do that tomorrow. And I go do do what?
He goes, do what you did. What did I tell me what I did?
Tell me what I did. He goes, you just be you.
And that was the beginning. And, and again, that's another
(31:49):
recapture like we talked about in about Candid Camera.
It felt so good. I didn't know what it was, but
that adrenaline, being in the moment, having that thrill, it's
like being on a roller coaster and having, I think it's 150
people fit in the in that room. And it was packed 'cause it was
the, the age of the, the boom ofstand up comedy, 150 people that
(32:14):
I didn't know. It was so loud, so joyous.
And now that feeling that I had with my mom and dad and in front
of the kind of camera was all coming at me for me.
And it's the first time I felt collective engagement, you know,
a wonderful, bright, glorious, you know, kind of joyous
(32:39):
engagement. And I chase that all the time.
You were. Concerned, I think about not
being able to replicate that that feeling again, but you end
up I guess the rest is kind of history at some point you end up
but that's. Why, you know, I am worried
about not replicating that and that's why I don't mind.
And now what I love and I go forthat adrenaline is going up
(33:02):
trying something I never tried before.
You know, now I have to get pastto when somebody goes, ladies
and gentlemen, Mandel chance Howie Mandel, there's a there's
a chance that there's a few people there who have some
expectation that know me, that recognize me.
So they're going to applaud and enjoy and for a couple of
minutes they'll give me, you know, easy laughs or whatever.
(33:23):
But I like when it got when I'm trying something and it's not
going anywhere. There's it gets.
That's where that adrenaline starts again and go, Oh my God,
they're not. Oh, this is this is it could be
embarrassing. This is this is you still.
You still feel that? Yeah, I.
I, I crave it and I go, oh, thisis bad, this is bad.
(33:45):
And then if I can pull myself out of that and win that,
there's that joy again. And an example I give in in my
book, I didn't do it purposely, but the joy is, and every comic
will tell you this, you know, you can have a room of 5000
(34:06):
people roaring in laughter and loving.
And if you see one person sitting there with a a look of
disdain, not enjoying it, it becomes all about that one
person. You don't, all that noise goes
away and it's all like, what thehell is wrong with you?
Like, why don't you don't like me?
So I remember specifically, I was at Radio City Music Hall and
(34:31):
in the front row there was a guynot even looking in my direction
and not, I didn't think he was laughing, you know, just kind of
like rocking a little bit and looking in in another direction.
I thought like, he just looks like a guy that says, the person
next to me brought me here and Icannot wait to get away from
(34:52):
this, whatever this is. So much so that again, in the
moment, I was doing great. I was killing, I was doing
great. And, and, and you know, on
paper, you shouldn't do this. You should keep the the rhythm
going. But I it's just who I am.
I went, what's with the guy in the blue sweater?
(35:13):
I don't know if that's what it was, but there's a guy in the
blue sweater up here who won't even look at me, and he doesn't
seem to be laughing. But at least if you're not going
to laugh, you came to a show. Look at me.
And the person sitting next to him mouths to me.
He's blind and as I do just out of habit, anything that is said
(35:40):
to me or mouthed to me just so that I can take in and process,
I repeat loud. So the whole audience just
because you're in the second balcony and I'm talking to
somebody in the front row or is doing something you're going to
know. And she went he's blind and I
went he's blind. He and then in in unison, it hit
me and 6000 or 5000 people in the audience.
(36:01):
They went and I went, oh, that kind of, I just, he made fun of
a somebody who has special needsand he's blind and it's probably
not good. It's probably not good in the
realm of, but I do have a question.
(36:23):
I do have a question. And and she said, what's your
question? And I said, why?
Why on earth would you buy a ticket to a front row for a
blind person? What a waste of money.
This blind person could be sitting in the second balcony
for half the price and the show would be exactly the same.
(36:46):
And that got a laugh, you know. But it was like, why would you
buy? It is more to sit up front.
Why are you paying more for thisperson, for a blind person?
And that got a laugh and that one out of that, no pun intended
dark moment, you know, in authentically found a way kind
(37:09):
of out of that. And that feels that feels better
than the the constant wave of laughter.
So. You moved from Canada to LA at
some point. For a period of time, your life
revolved around the The Comedy Store.
But why was a professional low point for you the three weeks
you opened for Diana Ross? Oh, my gosh.
(37:32):
So here I am at Caesar's Palace.You know, I don't have, I don't
have much of A I'm not seasoned,you know, as far as I, I haven't
spent much time on stage. I don't have a lot of
experience. I've never.
Been to Vegas here. I'm at Caesar's Palace and the
(37:57):
voice of God, as they call it, the the announcer would go,
ladies and gentlemen, welcome toCaesar's Palace for an evening
of Diana Ross. And it was deafening, the roar,
the excitement, the anticipationwas deafening if you listened
really closely in the midst of that roar.
But first, the very funny Howie Mandel.
(38:20):
No. Which nobody heard.
And I would come out in front ofthe curtain.
You know, she had like, I don't know, a 30 piece orchestra and
everything. So there's the, the stage was
set. The lighting's a smoke machine
and there was a curtain that closed in front of that.
And then there was like 3 feet of lip left in front of the
stage and I'd come out. Nobody knew me.
(38:43):
I didn't. I hadn't popped yet.
I don't. I'd only done the Merv Griffin
Show and the Mike Douglas Show. That's where and and make me
laugh. And then I got a call from Gene
Simmons. Kiss was at its peak.
I don't know how I got my numberand said, I saw you on Merv.
You're very funny, man. Would you like to be an opening
act for my girlfriend? I went, yes, who's your
(39:03):
girlfriend? And it was Diana Ross.
That's how I got that job. I remember like even on the
first night, because we were playing a casino, they told me
that I had to do like 20 minutesor 30 minutes.
I can't remember exactly what the time was, but what say what
20 minutes? And the guy said, do you
understand what I'm saying? And I said, yes, you said to do
20 minutes. And he said, no, I, I, I want
you to understand. I go what, what, what, what am I
(39:24):
supposed to understand? And he goes, not 21, not 1920.
And what I learned at that time,you know, the key is no matter
how big the star, no matter who was there, the show was
perfectly timed. They they hired and paid Diana
that huge money because they wanted all those people in the
building to go out and play in the casino.
(39:45):
That's where they made their money.
They didn't make money promotingshows.
They made money, you know, having people play games.
So if I was doing great and wenton for another 10 minutes,
that's 10 minutes that those people are not in the casino.
So I couldn't go a minute longer.
Her show was perfectly timed. So that was that.
And I remember I told somebody to tap behind the curtain.
(40:09):
When there was 3 minutes left, because I knew it took me 3
minutes to take my glove out my clothes.
There was always the glove and but I would go out to silence
everything I said silent. I remember a lady in in the
front row would be hitting my hitting my cat and get get get
off or they start chanting We want Diana.
(40:31):
We want Diana like in the middleof my ACT.
And it's so embarrassing. I'm standing there with a glove
on my head and it's silent. I remember one time.
So I hear the, I hear the tap and it couldn't come fast
enough. I'm soaked.
And I pop the glove off and I go, ladies and gentlemen, and
Diana Ross. And they roar at that.
And I turn around and somebody'ssupposed to page the curtain and
(40:53):
he's holding the curtain shut and I'm standing there and the,
the applause dies down and I'm standing, I'm trying to get out.
I'm trying to get out. And I go, I go, what's wrong?
And they go, you have another 5 minutes.
So I, he didn't tap. I was just hearing and that I
wasn't allowed to leave early either because Miss Ross wasn't
ready to come out. So I, it's just like it was
(41:14):
horrible and I turned around. I didn't have any more and
suffered again. And then said now by Anna Ross.
But I went every night, every night, 2 shows a night for a
whole week, 14 shows dead, dead silence.
And they had hired me for two weeks and they they said, Miss
(41:37):
Ross would like to see you in your dressing room before the
show tonight, Sir. And I said, OK.
And I've never been more happy in thinking that I'm about to be
fired because this definitely there's nobody in their right
mind that could think this was going well.
And she just said, I just wantedto say hi.
And I just wanted to say how funny I think you are.
(41:59):
You are so funny. And I'd like to hold you over
for another two weeks. I went say thank you, Oh my God.
Oh my God. And she held me over.
I ended up doing 3 weeks of two shows a night, 42 shows with
her. It's crazy.
She always loved me and always supported me.
(42:21):
I just went to her 75th birthdayparty.
But they like one night, I thinkSony Japan rented out the room,
you know, to see Diana Ross. She's an international star, not
a soul. Spoke English in the room and I
still went on. That was probably my best night.
People were giggling. They they didn't know what I was
saying. They didn't know that I did.
(42:42):
I did better. I wanted to leave the business
after that. I thought that was the end.
I know. You once got paid 150 bucks for
headlining, you know, nine straight shows.
But one moment that I think you felt you were most grossly
underpaid was when you got 25,000 to perform at a bachelor
(43:04):
party. I got more than that.
Oh, did you? Yes.
I had already started doing St. elsewhere and I had already been
playing to 10,000 people. So I get a call from the Comedy
Store and they said would you doa live?
Would you do a live show at somebody's house, A house party?
(43:25):
And I went, no, I think I'm pasthouse parties at this point.
And they hung up and then they called back and they go, there's
got to be a price that you'll doa house party for.
And I said, well, there's a price for everything.
And I threw out a crazy number more than what you said, which I
think what you said is crazy, you know, for to come to a house
(43:47):
party. But I threw out a lot more than
that. And then they called me back and
they go, OK. And then I thought, this is a
joke. I go, well, OK, it's got to be
cash before I I have to have thecash before I even show up at
this party. They said OK.
They called me a couple hours later to go to the Comedy Store
(44:08):
and I go pick up bags. Of cash and.
I go, Oh my God, and Saturday night at the top of the Canyon
in Hollywood, they tell me the directions to get there.
And then I get scared. I think like, are they trying to
kidnap me? Maybe I'm on TV, maybe I don't
know what they're going to do. I mean, like I say to my wife,
(44:29):
would you like to come, you know, because of surprise party
And she goes, no, I'll stay home.
But call, call me. She didn't want to come.
I didn't know it was a bachelor party.
So anyway, I I get in the car and I drive up.
It's a dark Canyon. I know I'm really close to the
address. There's a scantily clad woman
(44:50):
flags me down. I stop.
She goes. Are you Howie Mandel?
I said yeah. She goes, This is the party.
I'll take your car. Just go in through these hedges
because you're surprised. And there's a little pool house
right here. You'll hear the party.
Just hide in there until you hear.
Ladies and gentlemen, Howie Mandel, I go.
OK. And I at that time still, I had
(45:11):
a lot of props. I was the Carrot Top of that
time. So I had like the my gloves and
my handbag and I'm putting on these this weird nose and things
like that. I'm standing here, the door
opens, I'm in the bathroom and some guy walks in totally drunk
out of his mind and doesn't say anything to me.
It's just a room. Like there's a toilet and just
(45:34):
the sink. And I'm by the sink and I'm
putting things on in the mirror.He doesn't say anything and he
just stands there and he's usingthe toilet and I'm just standing
and it's just uncomfortable. And then he leaves.
And then I hear somebody go, ladies and gentlemen, Howie
Mandel and I, I walk out with myhandbag and my goofy and I go,
(45:55):
OK. And I look, it's 15 naked guys,
I don't know, maybe 8 naked women doing things that you
usually, you know, had to rent the tape to see or in a hotel
room. And anyway, it was like
(46:18):
happening right there. I, I, I didn't know, did I walk
through the wrong door? Like, is there a party?
And no, this was the party. And there's a guy right?
Mid, mid, being entertained. Go on to do the do the Bobby, do
the Bobby voice, you can't even talk.
Do the poppy voice. You know what?
(46:39):
I'm standing there and I do like1/2 hour with all this going on
and go goodnight and and I leave2-3 weeks later I'm in a mall
and a woman comes up to me says you're Howie Mandel from Saint
elsewhere, right? And I go, yeah, she goes, oh,
(47:00):
I'm such a big fan. And.
And my husband told me they had you perform at his friend's
bachelor party. And I look way in the back about
40 feet and he's going. And I realized they paid a
fortune so men wouldn't be lyingto their significant others
about. So what happened at the bachelor
party? Oh, we had Howie Mandel do an
(47:20):
act. And that's what I was.
So I'm a cover. I was a cover.
It was the. CEO of a big corporation.
I don't want to say yes, yes, that still exists you mentioned.
You know, your wife not going tothe party.
We obviously talked to both of you yesterday and I kind of
asked a variation of this then. But like you've said, she's the
(47:43):
key to your success. Absolutely.
Why? Because I am.
I feel constantly surrounded by and I don't mean this in a bad
way, but turmoil, you know it isit's tumultuous.
You know, whatever it is bad decision.
(48:05):
They want you over here. They want you.
You've you've spent the day withme.
It's, it's a busy when I need anything and when I am
distressed, when I'm confused, when I don't know where to turn,
when I'm nervous, just turning to her.
(48:26):
She will give me the words and the strength and the path to go.
And always has more in personal life, but equally in, in
professionally. You know, the first time I, my
philosophy is say yes to everything because everything's
an opportunity. And even if it's not an
(48:47):
opportunity to be successful, it's an opportunity to learn
something, even if it doesn't work out.
The first thing that I opposed, no, the the one the biggest
stand out in career wise that I said, no, this is stupid.
This will not work. This is she made me do.
(49:08):
It's also the biggest success ofmy life, of my career.
There's no bigger success for inmy career then Deal or No Deal.
Up until Deal or No Deal, I had a very segmented career.
The people who knew St. Elsewhere and when it was huge
didn't know Bobby's World. The people who watched Saturday
morning cartoons and knew Bobby's World didn't know that I
(49:29):
was a stand up comic. You know, the people who watched
HBO and cable at the time and watched those specials and loved
that weren't the the moms and the five year olds that were
watching TV. The people who watched St.
Elsewhere were watching serious drama, you know, stories at at
night. Weren't the people that were
watching necessarily watching Saturday morning cartoons or
(49:50):
stand up comedy. My inbox was always flooded just
before the Internet with I I don't think a day went by when
somebody didn't ask. I have a bet with my wife or
with my husband that fiscus, which was the name of the
character on Saint elsewhere, isnot the same guy that blows the
glove up on the head or Howie Mandel is not the guy that does
(50:13):
the voice for Bobby's World. They were really when I did Deal
or No Deal and I was, it was thefirst time I was just myself.
I wasn't being funny. I wasn't reciting lines.
I was just showing up. And hopefully, you know,
steering people to a better life.
It was the first time that all those audiences, they were all
(50:35):
the same. There was family viewing.
You know, people were watching with their kids.
The people that watched, the mothers that watched Saturday
morning, people who watched St. Elsewhere were watching.
The nobody didn't watch Deal or No Deal.
You know, everybody knew who it was.
So much so that it is even become a vernacular now, you
know, when you watch anything, when you read anything in the
paper right now. And there's some negotiating
going on internationally, they go deal or no deal, or we need
(50:58):
Howie Mandel for this. There isn't a, you know, a month
that goes by where I don't see it quoted somewhere.
And she is. Partially responsible?
Totally. Responsible if she didn't make
me do it, make me do it because she didn't, she said do it and I
said no, I don't think it's a good she would not hear of me
not doing it. So you know.
(51:18):
I'm talking to both of you guys yesterday.
You've been married 46 years. I think at one point you were
concerned if the, you know, marriage would last.
But I mean, just said this to you yesterday.
You look like kind of giddy school kids.
Why do you think the relationship has lasted?
Because I don't. Analyze.
I don't think I don't analyze anything.
(51:39):
Why do I think it's lasted her? She is the strongest, most level
handed person I've ever met. She's my best friend.
Any relationship is tough. It's always tough with a
relationship with your own children, relationship, work,
relationships, marriage, employment.
(52:01):
It's tough and there's ebbs and flows.
But we are both incredibly committed to whatever we take on
in life, you know, and, but and then ultimately under that and
which is mine and her panacea tolife is the ability to laugh,
(52:29):
you know, and you know, life's not always easy.
And in my darkest moments. We have.
Had the most guttural, deepest, hardest laughs.
And not everybody's into that. I think that more people live
for how they think they should live, how they think they're
(52:53):
going to be perceived, how they were told to live as opposed to
we share this innate ability to kind of live authentically.
I don't know what the word is, but you know, and, and I think
that shows itself by laughing when most people wouldn't laugh
(53:13):
well. So I was talking to Terry and
she said the kind of hardest thing that you guys have been
through as a family is your grandson's leukemia.
And I'm curious if you had any reflections on the conversation
I had with you and Jacqueline yesterday.
I'll. I'll you're going to air it and
(53:36):
and you'll air it. I I felt guilty last night
because you asked a very professionally and honorably and
nicely because it is part of my life.
If you can ask us about it. We have not talked about it.
And I felt guilty as a parent. I'm doing the the reason she's
(53:57):
on the show is because of me. You know, you're doing a, a, a
piece on me and I felt guilty for being part of the.
The equation that put her in thespot where you're asking
(54:19):
questions that are upsetting. And as a child, you know, as a
parent, you don't want to see your child upset.
So I felt guilty at the end of the day that I, I told you when
we were talking, you just want every moment for your child to
be happy, comfortable and wonderful.
And I said, you know, Graham is doing a piece on me.
(54:42):
He wants to talk to you. He asked if he could talk about
your, you know, your son. And I'm asking you.
And she went, OK, but why is shein this position?
And you know, there was a momentyesterday when you were talking
to her that wasn't fun for her. And why is that?
Because I'm doing this, you shouldn't have to feel.
(55:06):
I actually feel that there is some upside to people knowing
just because of how it's worked out for me and people knowing
that I suffer and have mental health issues.
People continuously come my way and say thank you for being open
about it. And many people are suffering
with a family member or an I'll child and maybe, and I know it
(55:31):
is good for people to hear that they're not alone and other
people are, you know, are going through the same thing.
So it's important for people to hear it.
But then there's also a side it and it's the main side.
I'm a father before I'm a comedian, before I'm, you know,
(55:52):
a host, before I'm anything. The only thing, the first thing.
I am the first thing. Even at this point, even before
I'm a husband, I'm a father. You know, you're always a
father. You're not.
You don't always the bond. I feel it in my heart of being a
husband. You know, you can decide not to
be a husband anymore. You could leave your wife.
(56:14):
You can never not be a parent. You're always a father.
And that. And that is my blood.
That is my soul. That is my reason.
So you know, I don't want when she hurts, I hurt what?
Stands out to you most from thatHawaii trip.
(56:34):
That's paralyzed. You know, it's just paralyzing,
but you have to function. You have to make decisions.
It's paralyzing. It was the most unexpected
paralyzing moment I would imagine in anybody's life that
(57:02):
us, you know, I was in the room,you know, it was just me and
Jackie. We went to the we took him to
the hospital thinking he had theflu, you know, and then we've
been on this dark roller coasterever since for years now.
(57:23):
What were the key steps in getting through that?
What? You know you have to make
decisions. You are called to ask to make
decisions that are you don't know if you're making the right
decision. You know, most people like.
(57:44):
What we were in. Maui.
And then they had to air vacuum really quickly to Oahu and the
people in Oahu who are who are tremendous and and wonderful had
had a plan of action and the plan of action did not include
(58:06):
flying home because he was he was not in a good in good shape,
not good enough to fly. But then that we wanted to come
home. You know, their plan of action
was for us to stay there for sixmonths and begin.
In fact, it was so drastic that he had to within 24 hours, he
(58:27):
had his first shot of chemotherapy.
I mean, boom, bang, they would, they wanted to attack it right
away. And his levels weren't great for
flying. So we thought we couldn't come
home. And then we called some people
here and they had a different plan of action.
(58:52):
Now you have conflicting plans of action and it's up to you to
make the decision. That's a really harrowing on so
many levels. You know how did.
You figure it out. I don't know if I figured it
(59:14):
out. I just, you know, I was so torn
because we all don't know what the right answer is.
And you know, if I have an opinion, it's scary enough to
think that your opinion is wrong.
If I have a different opinion than my daughter, do I talk her
into something and then it goes like it, then that's my fault.
(59:37):
Should she make the I don't know.
I don't even know. I can't even revisit it.
It's just, it was the most harrowing, mind boggling,
paralyzing horror show I've everbeen part of.
(59:57):
But you know. There's probably somebody
watching this who's in the similar sort of situation.
It didn't from kind of your experience having been in it.
Like what would you share in terms of how to navigate it I.
Think that you try to try to inform yourself as much as
(01:00:22):
possible. Like I I don't know all the
experts and I don't know that I just I, I live here in Lai know
people connected to Children's Hospital here is wonderful.
I called friends, you know, people like Byron Allen and
Jimmy Kimmel who have both dealtwith that hospital and were
(01:00:43):
incredibly open and and helpful.And I know that people watching
going well, I don't have those. But it's not even about the
celebrities. It was just about just talking
to a different oncologist and say, if the if these are the
facts, how would you deal with it?
And then you talk to that oncologist and, and you go, if
(01:01:04):
these are the facts, how would you deal and when for a moment
you. Thought he he might not make it.
Well, that's always the lesson that that I take away is you
have to be your own advocate and, and, and that is try to
collect as much information as you can without unbiased
(01:01:25):
information. So I have that they said this,
this is what they do. This is why this is what they
do. This is why everybody's
intention is really good. Everybody is probably capable,
but there's always another path.There's always another path.
(01:01:46):
Know the paths and then make your decision based on the
information that you have. Don't ever make a decision based
on no information. Or.
Because they told me or because they're a doctor.
Do things that it'll make sense to you and have them make it
sense make sense to you. I personally advocated and, and
(01:02:11):
pushed to, to bring him home here only because I don't say
it's better than there. It's they're busier here.
They do it more, you know, So I felt like the expertise, just
because that's what they do, youknow, on an island, they do it.
(01:02:34):
It's the best place they have and, and it's probably good and
he probably would have done great there, but I felt like I
wanted to get him to a place where they do it 10 times more
and there's a. Path to recovery and all of
that. And that obviously you wouldn't
wish it on anybody, but Terry did tell me that the beautiful
(01:02:55):
thing about it was the family coming together.
You've obviously had an endless amount of good fortune in your
life. And I don't mean to be, you
know, indelicate with this, but you've had a bit of a rough go
recently. You know, your mom has
Alzheimer's. How has that been for?
(01:03:15):
That's devastating. I'm not navigating and it's
devastating. My mother is, you know, I lost
my father in 1989. My parents were my support
system before I even knew I had a or could articulate that I had
mental health. That's where the laughter came
from. That's where the support came
from. That's where the love came from.
That's where everything I did myand and they were the biggest
(01:03:40):
fans always. And my dad would come to every
show. And when he passed, he passed at
63 years old. I wanted to leave comedy and I
and I, you know, I ended up keep, I kept going because he'd
be. On the.
Way I still look at the side after get a laugh to look for
him and and I never missed a dayup until two years ago of
(01:04:06):
speaking to my mom in every day of my life.
I called my mom and she's had. Alzheimer's for about 15 years,
yeah. But it's been about the last two
years or three years. She doesn't know.
She doesn't know who I am anymore.
It's hard. You know, Your mother is this
woman sitting there who has no idea who I am.
(01:04:30):
Well, she doesn't. She can't talk anymore.
And, and, but you know, it's just really hard.
I call my brother every day and he's over there and he visits
her every day and I fly in and Isee her.
You guys will. Often go together.
Yeah, I sit with her, you know, but I could tell she doesn't
(01:04:53):
recognize who I am sometimes. Scary for her to have this man
here. You know, for years when it
began, I tried to find the humor, you know, that got me
through. There was some funny stories
when she first, you know, I, I had to put her in assisted
living because she wasn't takingcare of herself.
(01:05:14):
She loved. Roses, flowers.
I remember her birthday, she haddementia, but we still talked
every day and that was it. And I remember for she's like 93
now, but I think for her 90th birthday, it was like 3 years
ago, four years ago, I sent her a bouquet of flowers or a dozen
(01:05:37):
roses every hour on the hour. I did it for like 10 hours.
So she had ten dozen roses and she didn't call, nobody called,
but she could still call me. She could press a button and
dials. I'm sending her these flowers
and she's not even acknowledgingme.
I called her at the end of the day.
(01:05:58):
And when you have dementia, she's not the same as she was.
She was always, I mean, she taught me if you have nothing
nice to say, don't say anything at all, you know?
And she was always pleasant, even if people weren't pleasant
to her. And she was a brilliant woman.
She was the number one real estate agent in Canada for a few
years as far as selling condos. And she very successful.
(01:06:20):
Very if I any, even my friends had a problem, they would go and
talk to her. And this is this.
The woman is now living in assisted living.
And I called her at the end of the day and I go, mom, how are
you? And she said, you can believe
this, but it's because she nevertalked like this.
She said, Get Me Out of this place.
And I go, why you? What's wrong?
(01:06:42):
She goes. The gardener seems to be storing
all his flowers in my apartment.So these kind of moments kind of
negate the the pain of dealing with whatever you're dealing
with you. Had said after your father
(01:07:06):
passed, you didn't believe in the afterlife until that moment,
no. So he, he passed.
I have no, no belief system in, you know, ghosts, life after
death, the occult mediums. You know, people don't know what
to say when you, when they encounter somebody who just lost
(01:07:28):
1. So people are giving me their
condolences. Somebody handed me this book,
it's called We Don't Die by George Anderson and said you
read this, this will help, This will make you feel better.
I thought it was a really nice gesture.
I wouldn't read it. I put it in my night stand about
a month after my dad had passed.I I couldn't fall asleep.
(01:07:53):
I was up at night and I tried tobore myself by reading a book.
And I found this book in the night stand, which I never
opened. And I started reading it and I
was fascinated, fascinated by his stories.
He had encephalitis when he was a kid and he went into a coma
and the doctor said if he shouldsurvive, he'll be severely
(01:08:14):
either paralyzed. Miraculously, he came out of his
in his coma and the only thing is he heard voices.
And then the kids would bully him at school because he would
talk to things that weren't there.
And he got diagnosed as schizophrenic.
And then they went and tested him and he was supposed to like
a Jewish doctor or something like that.
I'm trying to remember the storybecause this is like 35 years
(01:08:37):
ago. But he.
And then the story was that the doctor tested him and he said,
do you always hear these voices and only when they're here?
Is there anybody here? Yeah, there's somebody behind
you. And she's going machine.
And the doctor turned white because this kid would have no
way of knowing this Catholic kid, but his grandmother had
just passed and she always went meshignon, which means crazy.
She always did that behind him. And then they did brain scans
(01:09:00):
and it would light up. And then certain cops would call
that like, he got known in the area and he could find bodies.
So I said my entrepreneurial spirit took over.
I called my lawyer and I tied upthe rights to the book.
And I was going to sell a series.
And this is before 6th Sense, this is before the Medium was
(01:09:22):
another show. This is before all those.
And I wanted the rights to George Anderson.
It had nothing to do with my father.
I had I wanted the rights to George Anderson, to this book,
to 'cause I thought it would be a great series.
And somebody who's a victim of being, of doing this and solving
crimes. That was my idea.
And we went and took him to a meeting that day.
(01:09:45):
I was having stomach aches. This before the meeting.
I went to the doctor. The doctor told me that I was
eating, it might be gluten. You just don't eat bread.
I went, OK, I won't eat bread, Iwant to eat gluten and that's
it. Anyway, I went back and I had
these meetings. I flew him in.
He didn't know it was me. He didn't know I did it under
another name because I didn't want, you know, him not to do it
(01:10:07):
because I'm a silly comedian. And I was going to take this
pretty seriously. Not that I believed it, but I
thought it's a great story. And we go out for dinner and you
know, I I go to take a piece of bread and he goes, your father
is mad at you and I go, why? He goes.
He says, you know why you shouldn't touch the bread.
(01:10:30):
I go, what? He goes, your father is talking
to me and saying you were told not to eat bread.
Who told me that? Your father says the doctor told
you not to eat bread. And I, I went, Are you kidding?
Are you like how I believe in coincidences?
I believe I'm a public person. You can maybe find things.
(01:10:53):
There's no way that somebody wasin my doctor's office or my
doctor called my doctor wouldn'tknow I had a meeting with this
guy. There's be ridiculous
information to exchange. That was the first time I
realized. Are you kidding me?
And now I feel him around me allthe time.
My father, I'm aware of it. And then when I think about
(01:11:13):
things that happened up until that point, which I clocked up
to coincidence, hope, weirdness,science, we're not that.
It's, you know, science says energy cannot be destroyed.
It can only change forms. And there is an energy in each
and every one of us. I don't know how many times
(01:11:35):
you've been sitting in a room doing work and you feel like
somebody's looking at me. You turn around, your wife's
there. She didn't make a sound, but you
knew she was there because her energy.
This is electrical. We're we're we are energy.
She's there. Well, where does that go when
this shell fades? It's really weird.
(01:11:56):
And I tell the story about I wasin the room and my father passed
and they left me with him for a little bit.
And then the nurse came in aftermaybe 15 minutes after he had
passed all, everything went flatline.
And they told me it passed and the nurse came in and they were
removing all the hoses and wiresand lines and everything.
(01:12:20):
They're removing that. And for whatever reason, and I
thought up until this George Anderson thing, I thought like,
I've never been around somebody who died.
But you know, and it's just my imagination, but he's here.
He's here. He's not dead.
He's not dead. He's here.
And I knew that with the in the core, but I believe that that's
(01:12:43):
just my hope, my dream. He's here.
And the nurse went, no, no, no, he's gone.
He's gone. Honey, you just don't worry.
He's no, I go. He's here.
And for whatever reason, I screamed Dad and he was in the
he came back into his body and he went like that.
(01:13:03):
And I went, no, no, no, you can go.
You can go, you can go. And he's the last.
But even the nurse who had been taking out the hoses, who was
taken aback. And even after that, I thought,
OK, here's here's my explanationfor what that was.
We have scientific arguments allthe time.
What is death? Is it this when your heart no
(01:13:26):
longer beats? Is it when you're there's no
brain function? Like we don't know what that I
would imagine that for, You know, you know, that after you
bury somebody, their nails stillgrow, cells still die and you
still grow. Things still happen, you know,
biologically. So I thought, OK, so maybe in
the hearing way that, you know, he's gone.
(01:13:47):
But that was the last little bit.
They just weren't able to monitor that It wasn't the
occult. It wasn't him floating over his
body and coming back in. That was it.
But then when I heard about the bread, I went OK.
I I felt them in the room. And he he was trying to give me
a sign, you know, Don't worry, Howie.
(01:14:08):
I'm here. You.
Said about your father. He was the greatest, most
optimistic father anybody could have ever had.
Yeah. Man, there's my whole family, my
dad particularly, but optimism was our also our fuel.
Always trying new things, alwaysinvesting in a new business,
(01:14:29):
crazy ideas and just having fun with life.
Just playing games, playing tennis, buying a new album.
You got to hear that it was justthe the feeling in my house was
always upbeat. Why do you think you got your
entrepreneurial spirit from him?Because he was always trying
things. Yeah, I remember we would be in
(01:14:51):
the living room packing envelopes because he he, he, he
started this company called Zip Grip.
And Zip Grip was a clothesline where you didn't have to use
clothespins. Then it was basically a, a
pulley, A2 line pulley system. And when he went like this, it
the, the lines would cross and you could put your sheet.
You know, when I was growing up,the backyard was always filled
(01:15:12):
with clotheslines, right? Your mother would do the laundry
and then there would be like sheets and everything hanging
out to dry in the fresh air. Not the winter, in the winter
was the basement, but we didn't have a, a dryer.
So clotheslines were really big when I was a kid.
And he came up with zip grip andthen he had invested in a
company that had soft water. Then he invested in a bar in the
(01:15:35):
in Stratford ON Canada, which iswell known for the Shakespearean
Festival. He he decided that counter
programming would be great, so he hired a stripper, Princess
Glow. And Princess Glow was a £350
naked dancer who would take a bath and a bubble bath and then
(01:15:56):
get out of the champagne, the champagne glass and walk around
the room and drop her soapy giant on on bald men's heads.
It was always like bizarre and fun.
And he liked games, he liked toys, He liked not sitting
(01:16:19):
still. He loved comedy.
He would hang with my friends longer than I did.
You know, when I was on the road, he came on every date with
me. Well, you know, all the dates
that I played. And I'd go to bed, you know, 1-2
in the morning. And he'd, if we were in a
casino, he'd stay up another hour with all my friends.
And, you know, he was like a kid.
He's a kid, perhaps. There's connectivity between
(01:16:40):
that positivity and perseverancebecause you've obviously had to
demonstrate that repeatedly throughout your career.
Didn't example there's connectivity to that.
And Johnny Carson, the first time his chief Booker, Jim
McCauley saw you do your set, hetold me.
(01:17:02):
I will never, not only am I not going to put you on the show,
you will never be on the show. You are not what Johnny likes.
You are not you are the antithesis of what I would put
on. You know, they want, they wanted
monologists. I was just this crazy, he said.
There's no way you can show me adifferent set of what you do.
That's not you're not going to be doing our show and you're.
(01:17:23):
Thinking what at the time? Devastated, you know, because
that was I told you before that was the litmus test for making
it as a comedian. You could be on every other
show. You can do an HBO special, a
young comedian special. You could be on on Saint
elsewhere. I like and even to this day, if
(01:17:46):
you wanted to title this today we talked to Howie Mandel.
I would say I want you to say ifyou can only say 1.
Today we talked to comedian Howie Mandel.
I don't want you to say we talked to host Howie Mandel.
I love being a comedian. That's what I am and I'm a
comedian, a stand up comic who happens to have hosted shows,
acted in shows, bought real estate.
(01:18:09):
I'm a comedian and that's what Ithat's what that's what I am.
And so to be told that at that time, what would mark you as a
bona fide comedian in the eyes of the public will not give you
that mark, will not give you that badge.
(01:18:31):
It was devastating when you walked around and somebody saw
you and they said, what do you do?
And you say, I'm a comedian, I do comedy.
And they would go have. Well, have you been on Johnny?
And if you said no, then oh, OK,you're trying to be a comedian.
The. Moments that were most impactful
to you personally of Joan Riverschanging everything for you.
(01:18:53):
So, Joan? Rivers started guest hosting on
The Tonight Show and became evenmore popular than Johnny that on
those nights when she guest hosted, the ratings were were up
more that more than just the general ratings of Johnny
Carson. So I thought, OK, so I'm never
(01:19:14):
going to do Johnny, but I could do The Tonight Show if, you
know, one of the other hosts likes me and the way how am I
going to do that? So Joan lived in New York and
anybody that was hosting The Tonight Show would come into the
Comedy Store to work out their monologues and their sets.
And Joan would come in every time she was going to do The
(01:19:36):
Tonight Show for the week or forthe day or for what, whatever,
she would come before that to the to the Comedy Store.
So my great plan was maybe if she sees me, if she sees me,
I'll go on like right before her.
And if she likes me, maybe I cansay, hey, can I get a spot on
The Tonight Show? She was coming in one time.
(01:19:57):
Good plan. What good plan?
Good plan. I'm not stupid.
And so and I called Mitzi and I said, you know, she's coming in
on Thursday night. Can you put me on right ahead of
her? Is there any way you can put me
on right ahead of her, Mitzi? Being the legendary owner of the
owner of the club Polyshore, yeah.
And she said, yeah, as luck would have it, that Thursday
(01:20:20):
rolls around and I wake up with like, 104 fever.
I have the flu or something. And I couldn't move.
I mean, I'm cold sweats and I'm shaking and I feel nauseous and
I can't move. What?
What is the luck of the draw? And I go, hopefully by that
time, I'll, I'll feel better. As luck would have it, I didn't
feel better. But I go, this is my one shot.
(01:20:42):
I get into the car. Terry's trying to tell me not
to, not to Now she's saying no, you know, But I get in the car
and I drive and I'm shaking through Laurel Canyon in my car.
And I get, I get to sunset. I go and I'm standing there and
I'm feeling so sick. And then I don't know how I'm
going to do this, but they go, ladies and gentlemen, Howie
(01:21:03):
Mandel and I, I walk up on the stage.
And as soon as I walk up on the stage, as soon as that light
hits me, it's adrenaline, you know, I get excited and I just
do 10 minutes and crush. I do great.
I do great. I'm so happy she walks by me
because she's the next one that's coming up.
(01:21:24):
And as she walks by me, she goes, you're very funny.
You're very funny. Thank you.
And I walk off and, and, and I'mI'm going to wait and then I'm
going to confront her after. So she goes on and she does her
set and then she finishes and then she comes off and she's
sitting and talking to comics and Mitzi and I'm outside in the
(01:21:47):
stairwell. And, you know, the adrenaline of
my show is worn off. I start to feel all shaky and I
can't even stand anymore. I'm dizzy.
I sink down onto the I'm just sitting against the wall in the
steps like I'm going to die, youknow?
And she's, it takes forever, forever.
And I'm just sitting there like I think I'm going to die and I
(01:22:08):
don't know how long. It's like 1/2 hour after she
finished her set. I'm just lying on the stairs and
she comes out through that curtain and I go, hi.
And she goes, you were so funny.I go, thank you.
She goes, have you ever been on The Tonight Show?
And I said no. And it's my birthday this week.
She goes, call Billy Sammoth tomorrow and give me a number.
(01:22:30):
And I called, that's her manager.
I called Billy. She goes, she loved you.
Will you come on this week? And I said, this is it.
So now I can say I'm when somebody says have you been on
Johnny? I'm still going to say, yeah,
but I've been on The Tonight Show.
I go on The Tonight Show with her on panel.
I do great. The morning after I get a call
(01:22:51):
from Jim McCauley, the guy who said you'll never be on.
And he said Johnny watched the show last night.
See, I'm sure that Johnny was watching because Joan was
getting these crazy ass ratings because Johnny was watching the
show last night. He loved you.
Is there any way you can come onnext week?
I went, yeah. Now here's the thing.
(01:23:14):
Jim McCauley was very protectiveof his boss and the thing.
So he went over step by step everything that I would say I
would do the panel. I want you to do this.
I want you to do this. I want you to.
And I felt like I'm not good when somebody's trying to
control me, you know, or I have to think about what order I have
(01:23:34):
to talk in. Like even now people do pre
interviews. You know, I'm not of rich do the
pre interview and he'll give me the the but I'll go off and I'll
I'll talk where I want to because I need to be like I'm
not good when I'm totally scripted unless I'm on Saint
elsewhere. I'm I can't be Howie and be
totally scripted. So he gave me a bunch of things
(01:23:56):
to do and I said, you know what?This is it I'm doing, Johnny.
I'm going to break the rule. So I'll do those things, but I'm
going to do thing one thing that's not planned.
I'll do one thing that's not planned.
And this thing will either solidify me or I'll never do it
(01:24:19):
again. But you got to take these big
swings. You got to go for a home run.
And it's like it was yesterday because I, I could feel that
energy, that fear that that I had the first night of yuck
yucks, that energy, that fear that I have the first night of
doing anything. I was on.
It was great. He introduced me.
I walked through the curtain. I'm sitting there.
It's Johnny Carson, there's Doc Severinsen, there's Ed McMahon
(01:24:41):
sitting beside me. I'm not, I'm, I'm there and, and
it's going well. And they're laughing at things
that I'm saying and I have a bagof stuff like I always had.
And I say to him, do you like 3Dmovies?
And I see Jim off to the side going, what's this?
I didn't plan this. He goes, yeah, so I had these 3D
(01:25:02):
glasses. And I give him 3D glasses.
And I reach into my bag, and I pull out like a little stuffed
animal. And my heart is just dropped
into my stomach. And in real time, I just go.
And I whip it. I'm closer than I am to him, to
you. I whip it right at his face.
He's wearing the glasses. And I throw this thing right in
(01:25:23):
Johnny Carson's face and it seemed like an eternity.
You could, it's almost like you're going to hear a
heartbeat. Like, is he just going to?
And, and and then I go, doesn't it seem like it's coming right
at you? And it seemed like 123.
And he almost fell off his seat laughing.
It was like crazy. And that that solidified me.
(01:25:45):
I ended up doing it 22 more times.
And then I pulled something likethat again and.
You didn't get the reaction you were hoping for, Did.
And you never went on again after that.
Did you guys, did you guys ever talk after that?
No. No, it wasn't like that.
There was never a repartee. I did it 22 times and it wasn't
(01:26:06):
like we weren't close. We weren't.
I don't think we talked during the commercials.
I don't think it just he really,he was amazing at his job, you
know, he was amazing at setting you up.
He was amazing at reacting. He was the consummate host.
(01:26:27):
What did you? Think of him personally.
I personally think he's great and and loved him, but I don't
and and maybe my brethren comedians disagree with me.
I don't think he was a great advocate for comedy, for stand
up comedy. And the reason for that is I
(01:26:49):
Revere comedians, all of them, anybody who does this, and I
know what goes into it and I'm the champion of it on AGT.
And I always, and maybe this is just personal, resented the fact
that the comedian always went onat the end of the show, like the
clown and the circus. And it was it was a big deal to
(01:27:15):
be called over or to get a thumbs up.
You would have, I'm only even mention names because I don't
want to be disrespectful. But you would have the third
tier of somebody from a sitcom, an actor who happens to be on a
sitcom and it's not their sitcom.
Any cast member from the Bob Newhart Show, you know, on.
(01:27:36):
And they would, they'd even be the second guest and they'd sit
down and regale Johnny in the audience with stories and they,
you know, and he feigned interest in it and whatever.
A comedian who writes their own material and has so much at
stake and needs to elicit a laugh every 30 seconds from an
audience comes out. And sometimes they got a thumbs
(01:28:00):
up, sometimes they got called, they were allowed to sit down
and then they throw the commercial.
To me, that's a that that seemedalmost disrespectful.
I mean, that's the artist, the the person who is on the sitcom
is reciting somebody else's lines and pretending to be
something. And and that's OK.
(01:28:20):
I'm not negating that. But I just never because it was
such a it was thought of such a a, you know, a, a plat.
It was a platform because the shot on that show meant a lot to
each and every one of us. But I felt like it wasn't really
the milieu wasn't respectful you.
(01:28:42):
Ever tried reaching out to him? What about?
When you were hosting the daytime talk show, I read an
interview you gave then about how he would be your like Holy
Grail he is. I think he was great at what he
did, he was great at what he didand he is the Holy Grail for
late night hosting and I wanted to be like him.
(01:29:06):
I wanted to be able to give people a platform.
I would have I would have never personally on my own show.
I would have never had a comedian on to do their act and
say goodnight. You don't come on on and
goodnight. That's like come and deliver me
a great meal, but don't eat withme.
Go home. I don't I wouldn't have done
that. And any comedian I had on sat
(01:29:28):
down and talked and and I had interesting and said do your ACT
sometimes from the couch. My ACT was always from the
couch. You know those stories that I
made-up. It's like, so I wouldn't do
that. I don't have to agree and have
the same system as him, but I Revere him and I Revere the show
and and but. Because of how stuff ended, you
did not want to reach out about having him as a guest on your
(01:29:51):
show. He wouldn't.
Do it. I wasn't gonna reach out for a
for a definite No, he wasn't doing anything.
He appeared once on Letterman. You know, he walked away and he
did it incredibly gracefully andeverything he did in his career
was done to the nines. And you know, that's who he is.
I'm just saying that the show was a great platform to launch
(01:30:14):
from for comedian. Was he a good advocate of
comedian? Was he an advocate for
comedians? I don't think he was personally.
So we were. Talking about that deal or no
deal and your wife's influence and you, you know, doing,
agreeing to do that the period from the cancellation of your
(01:30:34):
daytime syndicated talk show to deal or no deal was brutal.
Well, because I had. Done AI did the daytime talk
show for a year. When you're doing a talk show,
it's a full time job. It really is.
So I was relegated for a year and a half because I started 1/2
(01:30:54):
a year ahead of the airing. Working on it to not.
Doing these 200 stand up dates not.
Doing stand up that you were. Selling out leading into not.
Appearing on television, I wasn't doing anything.
I was building my show, whether I was staffing it, whether I was
going and having meetings at affiliates to who were bidding
(01:31:18):
to carry the the show, the business behind the scenes,
whether I was sitting down and meeting producers and directors
and whether I was shooting test shows and figuring out what I
wanted to do. I'm sitting a year and a half, a
year and a half aside from the show.
I was out of it. And the daytime audience is a
(01:31:39):
very different it's a it is a specific audience.
The daytime talk show audience is not the nighttime show is not
the club going show, the concertgoing show.
They're they're really not unless you're like a huge
success. I think Oprah and Doctor Phil,
you know, burst beyond that bubble, but very few daytime.
(01:32:02):
So that's what I was doing, you know, so out of sight, out of
mind, the stand up comedy concert world kind of dried up.
I wasn't, I wasn't acting. I wasn't getting the offers that
I was getting after St. Elsewhere.
I mean, this was this was 13 years after St.
Elsewhere and. So what are you thinking at the
(01:32:24):
time? So.
When it was taken away from me, it wasn't like the phone was
ringing. So the, you know, I still wanted
to do stand up. So I do some dates, I get booked
in clubs and, you know, selling 65 tickets, 100 tickets, like Oh
my God, the audience is gone. You know people don't want to
spend money when you were. Selling out selling.
(01:32:46):
Out I've been selling out like, you know, little outdoor venues
of 5000 to 10,000. I've been selling out so you
know, multiple days at clubs andnow I'm selling, I'm trying to
get 100 tickets and I can't. And so and even acting, maybe I
can get on another series. And I'm reading for five lines
(01:33:06):
and under and I'm sitting in a folding chair in a casting
office with the five other unknowns that look like me, you
know, and I'm just going, this is ravaging for yourself,
esteem. And I don't need it.
I don't need the money. I don't even need to be more
(01:33:29):
famous. I don't need people to know me.
You know, enough people know me and that that's not what I'm
chasing now. I just want to I want to work.
I want to do this so be to be told no, no, no, no.
I said to Terry, you know, I'll drop in and I was dropping in
2-3 times a week to comedy clubs.
(01:33:50):
I just drop in without telling them not hired and doing a set
and that feels good. That's my, you know, they're 15
minutes set. So that's my 15 minutes of light
during the day and I'm find something else to do.
I have investments I don't need.I don't need money.
You know, I've, I've kind of setmyself up so I don't need my so
I'm going to, I'm not going to pursue because it's just
(01:34:11):
negative. I don't want to pursue it
anymore. So I'm quitting show business.
And that was about 2005 when I totally 2004 when I totally
stopped pursuing anything when the call for deal or no deal
came in. That five year period or
whatever it was, you had, you know, talked about being
(01:34:33):
depressed, among other things. When you're in those places,
where does your mind go? Not good places, you know,
everything from my own personal health thinking I'm dying to
(01:34:53):
self doubt, worry, terror, OCD, all those things light up.
It's just so dark and so and youknow it, it it's really by
virtue of just not being busy. I mean, you've hung with me for
a couple of days. My days are full.
I'm not good if my day's not full.
So I could make, you know, a good decision to not pursue
(01:35:19):
something like I did in my career.
But I had all I and I have investments, but those
investments, it's not like a day-to-day job when you invest
in a piece of real estate, like what is that?
So you know, it's throwing off money because it's a rental
property. Like so I'm just sitting at home
and when you get up each and every day with no purpose and
(01:35:44):
nothing exciting happening, like, you know, it's just I
didn't have babies in the house.I didn't even have to take care
of babies, you know? I didn't have anything to do but
turn inside out like the black hole of of a star.
Was my mind ever. Suicidal, I think.
(01:36:07):
That it's, you know, it's I, I, I I'd be lying if I said it,
didn't it, it never crossed my mind.
But I never got to the point where you know what do What do
you call it? Where you were going to follow
where you have a. Plan.
(01:36:30):
When you get to those places, what are the tools you use to
get yourself out of it? Distraction.
Give me something else to think about, give me something else to
do. Give me some place to go, you
know, whether that's my wife saying come on, come on, let's
go get a lawn chair, you know? It would be because you you said
(01:36:52):
if everything's going your way and there's nothing wrong, but
you're sad, that's almost harder.
Because we're taught, you know what?
What's supposed to make you happy?
Like what? What are we taught?
What is our society when you come into this life and you
(01:37:13):
become aware what's supposed to make you happy?
Having money. Nice.
Clothes, having a nice car, goodfamily, having a career, having
your well, first and foremost, your family health.
If you have all that, if the allthat exists and you're in a dark
(01:37:36):
place that's more painful, then you go, I'm I'm drowning, I
don't know. So then there's nothing that can
Get Me Out of this, because everything that's supposed to
battle this, every reason to notbe depressed exists.
And I'm hanging on and I'm stilldrowning in this darkness.
What that's helpless that makes you feel helpless?
(01:37:58):
You've. Talked about when you were
growing up and the the bugs under the skin your perspective
as to the impact that had was what I'm.
Not a psychologist, but, you know, I do remember vividly the
feeling I had when they discovered that, you know, I'd
(01:38:22):
been bitten by a sand fly and itlaid its larvae in my in me.
And when I had these itchy little bumps and you scratch
them and then you watch that itchy little bump crawl away
under your arm to another place.I mean, it's like a horror film
that you that you're, you are the horror film.
(01:38:42):
And the horror film didn't stop.So that my mom took me to a
doctor and that doctor decided to put me on display.
There was a dermatology convention in Toronto because we
didn't know what the answer was and they hadn't seen this in
humans. I think cattle get it.
(01:39:03):
So they put me on a table. I remember I was in a, I think
it was a lecture hall. There was all these doctors from
all over the world. It was a, it was a seemed like
an amphitheater of like 100 people.
And they put me on a table in mytighty whities on a table as a
little boy. And the nurses would hold me
(01:39:25):
down. And then they, they, they would
show them these bumps and then the bump would move.
And then he would take liquid nitrogen and put it on the on
the bump. And liquid nitrogen is so cold
it burns. And I'd watch my skin sizzle and
bubble and then it would open upand obviously kill the larvae.
And I was screaming. I did.
They did one. And then my mom, who didn't know
(01:39:46):
what they were going to do, tookme, unstrapped me from the table
and said, you're animals don't do this and carried me out.
And I went home and then every night we would pick one and then
she would take a, a rough washcloth and alcohol and just
rub, rub it and rub it, rub it first.
It's all good, but keep rubbing it until the skin broke and it
(01:40:08):
would bleed and it'd open until she got them all.
So that was that was when I was,I think I was about 6 or 7.
I don't know. I can't remember exactly how old
I was, but that even talking about it holds so.
Talking about it holds what? And it's hard to, you know, it's
traumatized even today. Sure.
(01:40:28):
I had things living under my skin so and and and so I have
like an ache factor. In in your your mom too, was
Yeah, they were all you know, and.
And her mom, I remember her mom.I'd go to my grandmother's house
and my grandmother would be outside waxing and polishing the
(01:40:49):
porch, the concrete porch. I remember my crib.
Somebody would come over and touch the crib and when I was a
baby, I couldn't even speak. But I remember that when they'd
leave, my mom would like Windex it or whatever she sprayed on it
and, and wipe it. So you know, all these things.
Not that this is her fault. I just I have I have OCDI do
(01:41:10):
have OCD and that's not because of anything she did, but maybe
that, you know, informed the thought process My my
germaphobia. But if it wasn't germophobia, it
would be the need to to be afraid of the number six.
I got to do things in sixes or whatever.
You know, it would be something else.
So it's not, that's not it. Go.
(01:41:31):
Ahead, what would happen with the warts on your hands from
Well, I was the. Before everybody knew about all
these antibacterial things I had, it was during the talk show
I had. I knew that on this talk show,
no, no matter who came in, I hadto shake their hand.
So my friend is a surgeon and hegave me I had a tub of that
(01:41:55):
whatever the the surgical scrub is, he gave me that I had that
in under my desk. So I would all day long I would
just have that surgical scrub. What I noticed is I started
getting warts on my hands and itI later learned that I had
disinfected my hand so much thatI had actually killed the good
(01:42:15):
bacteria. So if I even touched the door or
I touched anything that bacteria, there was nothing to
fight the bad. We have bad bacteria on us all
the time. That's just part of being a
living Organism. So I lost that and that's how I
got of a wart. Is it like a virus, You know, so
I'm not negating the use of antibacterial, but in
(01:42:40):
moderation, not even moderation,use it normally.
I just soaked in it you. Still have a a particular
scenario you go through when youget to a hotel room?
Yeah, yeah. In a hotel room, I'd have the
comforter off the bed. I won't touch it or touch
anything it touches. If there's carpet, I put down
(01:43:03):
towels and make a path. I stopped using a black light.
I used to use the black. I know I I was using a black
light, but it just makes me crazy.
If you use a black light in a room, it's like a crime scene.
It's like there's so many thingslight up.
I have no idea what it is and I don't want to know what it is.
And so I stopped carrying it. I don't have the black light
with me and you're. OK with kissing and hugging
(01:43:27):
right? Certain people.
Not everyone. Yes, yeah, I have children.
What about the Aviator movie? Scared.
You didn't scare. Me, I use it as a an example
that's, you know, Howard Hughes was probably one of the most
productive, brilliant, everything from aviation to
(01:43:51):
filmmaking to creating the bra. You know, here's a guy that
could do it all and OCD overtookhim to the point where at the
end of his life, he's in the fetal position, lying naked,
locked in a room, peeing into a cup.
And I've said to people, if you don't understand, you know how
close I am to that. And that's what I fight every
(01:44:15):
day. It's not do do.
Do you really feel that way though?
Yeah. Yes, yes, I could.
I could go down that little rabbit hole or wormhole and make
myself not want to touch anything, anybody.
And you know, I I get the comfort in retreating from the
(01:44:40):
world. And what?
Prevents you from doing that. Terry medication and therapy.
And in what ways have you found the medication and therapy
helpful? I.
Wouldn't be on medication if it wasn't for Terry.
I wouldn't have been diagnosed if it wasn't for Terry and you
resisted. Medication.
For a long time I did. Because I was afraid that it
(01:45:01):
would. I have the certain amount of
success because of who I am. And medication alters who you
are. You know, it can alter who you
are. I am.
I'll be honest with you. And my family makes fun of me.
I'm kind of which is easier for me to live.
I'm I'm, I'm numb. I'm and that means.
What? Because I've heard you say that
(01:45:23):
a bunch before. I I.
Don't have that much emotion. I, I have I I I don't have fear,
which is nice, but. Rich told me 32 years, she's
never seen you cry. No, I don't have fear.
I don't have emotion. I don't have.
I'm numb. I look for those.
That's why I look for thrills tofeel alive.
(01:45:44):
I love roller coasters. I want adrenaline.
I want to feel scared. I want to feel something.
I don't have that. I don't, I don't have that
anymore, but that's OK. That's like, you know, if you
wear a life jacket on a boat, you know, if you're out on a
sunny day and you're in a boat and you wear a life jacket,
(01:46:07):
you're safe. Are you comfortable?
You know, you don't feel, you feel like kind of like in this
is my mental life jacket. So my mental life jacket, I
don't have the same, you know, if you weren't wearing a shirt
and you were in a boat, it's a lot more, you know, you feel the
sun burning your shoulder, you feel the spray of the water on
your, on your skin. You feel the wind, right.
(01:46:31):
We put on a life jacket and you're kind of so if you take
the medication that I'm on, or at least the way it's affecting
me, I don't feel anymore, but I cannot.
But what's what's been good is it hasn't curbed my desires.
I enjoy, I have enjoyment. I enjoy or satisfaction in
creating something, in producingsomething, in making something
(01:46:57):
happen, in discovering somethingthat I've never seen before.
Are you happy? That's a good question.
I think for the most part I'm content.
Happy is a hard place for me to get to.
I think it's a hard place for anybody to get to depending on
(01:47:19):
what your definition of happy. I have moments where I'm really
happy, you know, but those are those are flashes, you know,
something happens, you go wow, you know, like winning a
lottery. You know, if you win a lottery
and you find out you're the winner, they're probably happy
for a moment and then deal with how your life has changed and
(01:47:39):
how the people around you change.
I don't know if you're still you're, you're not happy all the
time. So I got moments of happiness.
I spend a good amount of time incontentment and I fight off
darkness always. It's a fight.
How's the help today? Physically, I think.
(01:48:01):
I'm better than I've been in thelast few years.
COVID knocked me for a loop mentally which kind of showed
itself physically too well then the.
Booze and the booze and. Drugs and booze and drugs and,
and eating, you know, I gained about 20 lbs, which feels
doesn't feel good. I ate really unhealthily, which
(01:48:25):
doesn't feel good. And you know, when you're 15
years old and you, you know, theonly thing you've eaten is, you
know, a bunch of Pepsi and a chocolate bar for the day,
you're feeling OK, right? It doesn't affect you when
you're my age and you're just having sodas and chocolate, it
(01:48:49):
doesn't feel the same. But but you want sodas and
chocolate because you're not feeling OK.
So right now I'm really healthy.I've taken up swimming.
You should feel like a. New man.
I mean, I do. I feel, I've, I've lost 20 lbs.
I feel and and more than the weight, I feel like I'm not, I'm
not living on energy drinks and I'm not eating sweets and I'm
(01:49:14):
not not only for weight, but your whole metabolism is
different when you're older and it hurts just like you can drink
when you're young and go to a party and wake up the next day
and have at it. You know, when you're older and
you drink heavy, it hurts more in the morning.
It just hurts and all that hurt all the time.
(01:49:37):
I know we've. Touched on briefly over the past
couple days some of your non showbiz related work, but how
about the best investment you made not connected to show
business, Well I would. Have to say, this building that
we're sitting in, I made a little Fort for myself, this
little man cave, you know, that happens to, you know, be
(01:50:03):
inhabited by other people who are creative and tech companies
and other creations which cohabitate together and happens
to be a good investment from a real estate point of view and a
really good investment from a creative point of view and a
really good investment from my career point of view did I have.
(01:50:24):
A right that you pretty much forexed the investment in this
over the past decade that you'veowned it.
I would think so. I'd have to.
I'd have to, really. I haven't sat down because I
have no inkling in trying to sell it or flip it or do
anything. But it's a lot more than I paid
for it. But I bought a crappy little
(01:50:45):
warehouse with no this was a printing company.
This whole thing was a printing company and it was a mess, you
know, and I I've added value to it just physically, you know,
physically added value. These walls that you see that
all this soundproofing that you see the ability to put totally
(01:51:12):
vastly different areas in the same building that can
complement each other, but also live.
This was all like one thing, youknow?
And now it's this cordoned off kind of how, how much?
Real estate do you own? Enough to survive, not enough so
that I don't have to work anymore residential.
Commercial. Residential.
(01:51:33):
And commercial rental properties.
I always saw it as I'll. I'll give you an example when in
the. Early 80s.
When, when Vegas was the biggestgrowing city in the world, You
know, Steve Wynn kind of createdthat.
And it what was happening when he was building these big
(01:51:54):
hotels, the trades had to come there to, you know, the
electricians, the plumbers, the,the landscapers, the people who
built. So they all came there.
So the first thing we did, we gobecause I was, I was in the
carpet business. We, me and my partner said,
well, how do these people move there and then do their
(01:52:15):
business? So we bought a lot of dirt
around the airport and we built these little, we called them
commercial condos, but they're just little Ware, little
warehouse with a, with a warehouse door and, and an
office in front. So a plumber could have an
office he can get his shipment of whatever his things are in.
(01:52:36):
And traditionally they rented those out.
They were already happening, butthere was people renting
commercial space just like you see in this area where we are
now. You know, we're a plumber or an
electrician or a tile guy or whatever.
So I said, well, why don't we sell them as condos?
So we we bought them for bought the area for nothing.
(01:52:57):
It's not where anybody wants to live.
These are just tilt UPS, little concrete squares.
I couldn't build fast enough to sell them out because all these
trades and all this building wasgoing on and because of the tax
benefits of Nevada, people started moving there.
So then there's these these companies like KB Homes and
there's this big development companies in America that bought
(01:53:19):
dirt way out and and subdivided to build 2000 homes at a on a on
a plot like Summerland and Henderson.
None of these places were developed.
And this is where people who nowwork in on the strip.
This is where they all live. And so they were building 2000
and and because it was so good, people were bidding on these
houses. They were selling these houses
(01:53:40):
like huge in the 80s and 90s people.
So I saw that and I said, well, I see where this is.
And this is like 20 miles from the strip and 20 miles.
And the reason they were able tobuild like they did, it's so
cheap, they're buying this. So I would buy like 2 acres of
dirt leading, I'd go see where the land was subdivided before
(01:54:01):
the houses were built. And I'd build I'd, I'd buy 2
acres of dirt that would lead into whatever the main artery
into this new subdivision was. So I'd buy 2 acres of dirt and
people would say for what? And I'd go, these are 2000
families. Where are they going to get gas?
Were they going to buy their groceries?
So I'd put a little on my 2 acres, a little strip mall of
(01:54:22):
the gas station, a little AMPM store, a little a little store,
a car wash. And this became I knew that I
was going to be serviced by 2000homes.
So that I, I so I had, I got to a point where I had like a bunch
of gas stations. I end up getting bought out, but
it was and my partner went into another business.
(01:54:44):
How? Many do you have?
Strip malls had about 8 and gas stations.
The the gas stations became the big business and and and not for
what you think. What do you mean so?
In in Nevada, gas was the least money you made.
People go in and buy sundries ata gas station.
(01:55:06):
But even more importantly than that, you rent out, you know, in
every gas station they had like a poker machine, you know, an
electronic poker machine. They would come in these poker
machine companies, they'd say we'll put a poker machine in
your in your gas station and we'll pay you like $30,000 a
month rent. I go, wait, if you're paying me
(01:55:29):
$30,000 a month, how much are you making?
You know, so on all the gas stations and then not as much,
but the post office come in. So you have a stat machine that
like when you go into these places and you see stores are
real estate, that's the way people do business now.
That's all time. Sephora's whole business now is,
(01:55:50):
you know, I was, I always thought like, I'm looking at
this giant Sephora and I'm always thinking and I'm
interested in this kind of stuff.
This kind of stuff lights me up.I'm interested.
I say to I look at Sephora, you know, I'm talking about
cosmetic. So I go like, even if somebody
comes in and buys eyeliner and lipstick and lip gloss, how are
they, How are they paying the rent on this?
(01:56:11):
Because I've owned retail and I know what it is.
How are they paying the rent on this?
The, the Sephora, Sephora's making money because they're
taking a piece of that sale. But more importantly, they're
charging L'Oreal or lip Kits by Jenner's rent on the, on that's
real estate. So they're charging rent for
that. If you want to be an end cap or
(01:56:31):
you want to be on that shelf, they're paying rent for that,
right? And that's why when I get into
the hologram business, I say, well, you know what, if you're
paying rent to have your producthere, or you're paying for the
signage, let me put my hologram machine in there.
And now anybody who walks by hasaccess not only to you, but to
everything you sell and more than you can ever put on a
(01:56:54):
shelf. And that's just as exciting as
doing a show, producing TV, doing stand up comedy, just
finding a new way to do businessyou.
Once said what was important to me in my 30s is not important to
me now. And you realize that things you
chase don't matter, and it's just the ability to get up and
(01:57:18):
even chase something. It's the chase.
If you want to get up and do something, if you want to get up
and talk Walmart into saying this is the new way to display
everything you have in the storeand get Walmart to say yes and
we're going to buy, you know, 2000s of these machines.
That's kind of exciting, isn't it?
(01:57:38):
You know, I did 22 Tonight Shows, but does that really
matter? Does anybody even know?
Does anybody remember anything Idid on The Tonight Show does?
No, But if this becomes the way of people doing business, the
way a doctor can reach somebody who can't get to a doctor, the
way somebody can see a 3D image because they can't, the way
(01:58:02):
Christie's is now doing business.
Or at the same time, you know, somebody can walk in here to do
my podcast, but they can start playing League of Legends and
somebody like T Pain wants to join and they create a World
League. I don't, I don't play games
online, but I'm fascinated by the amount of people that that
engages and I want to be part ofthat.
(01:58:24):
You know, it has nothing to do with me, nothing to do with me,
but I've given them a roof. OK.
And lastly, what motivates you today?
I want to be a blank slate and Iwant to wake up and find a
motivation. And every day, sometimes three
times a day, there's three different motivations.
(01:58:45):
Whatever I'm motivated by right now is not what I will be
motivated by tomorrow. You know, like, I don't know if
it was clear and watching me work, but you know, just, I'm
motivated by watching a bunch ofthings happening.
I love walking around and watching, you know, in the other
(01:59:07):
room. There's three other shows going
on that I have nothing to do with.
And nobody who sees those shows will ever know that I have any
connection in any way. But there's something motivating
about the energy of creativity and weirdness and fun and tech
and information that is going onaround because I said, how much
(01:59:28):
is this building, you know, and,and that that's a motivation to
just keep doing it or showing upor showing up here and doing
that. When I finished talking to you
right now, I'm getting on a plane and going to New York and
I'm going to be touring with my buddy Brad Garrett.
You know, that's kind of motivating.
We're going to have fun. I love the guy, love hanging
with the guy and we're going to have fun and we kind of don't
(01:59:51):
have a plan. No plan.
He called me the other day. So, So what are we going to do?
Who's going to go on 1st? Are we going to do stage time
together? I go, I don't know, let's see
how we feel. And that's what it's not.
It's it's that easy. And tomorrow I'll be motivated
to, you know, to go to Jackie's house and sit there and play for
three hours with my grandson. And you know, I'm always
(02:00:13):
motivated to do that, but I'm just saying I like that
motivation. And I don't want to be held to a
plan. I life's too short.
The only thing I have is moments.
Moments are my currency. Moments are everybody's
currency. And just enjoy it, know the
value in it or hate it and know the value in it, you know, but I
just want to be open to these moments.
(02:00:35):
And I don't want to steer myselfaway from a moment that's coming
my way because it comes at you. If you don't go at it, it comes
at you. And it's what you do with what
comes at you that makes a difference.
Thanks for doing this. Thank you, really appreciate it.
It's over. Thanks for.
Listening to this week's podcast?
(02:00:56):
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