James Patterson: She Taught Me I Was Loveable | Forward Progress

Legendary author James Patterson opens up about his relationship with Jane, a past girlfriend who had a lasting impact on him. He recalls how she saved him and how when she became sick, he cared for her and reshaped his mindset about love.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey, it's Thursday, which means we're coming at you with a short
feel good story from a past guest.
Hope you enjoyed the clip. This week.
James Patterson, in everybody's life, there's certain periods
that shape them. And somebody I wanted to ask you
about, who seems to have had an enormous impact on your life was

(00:24):
Jane, who you'd lived with for seven years, passed away at 39.
You said that she totally saved you your words.
How so? Once again knocking any chips
off my shoulder. I'll give you an example, which

(00:45):
I, which I write in the book. She was just a sweet, sweet,
nice, nice person, smart and just one of the best people I've
ever met. And she made me go out to this
French restaurant in New York. And I'm this kid from upstate
and I don't know, from French restaurants and I don't know.
And she knows that I'm like a little nervous and stuff.

(01:06):
And, you know, I'm not totally comfortable.
I'm 27 or whatever, 25 maybe. And so we're at the table and
she did this in a way that wouldlike, it wasn't going to bother
people around her. And she had some kind of French
Stew and she just took her face and put it into the French Stew
and came up with the the Stew onher face.
And she said, this is our restaurant.
We're here. This is, you know, relaxed.

(01:28):
It's all good. It's A and that was kind of the
way she was. And then she liked to to Stew
off. But I mean, the point was relax,
this, you know, it's not a big thing.
And, and, and she got me to get used to certain things.
And, you know, her family had some money.
She got me used to, you know, that kind of side of it.
And she was never money, you know, she wasn't a money kind of

(01:48):
person, but she was just a good lifeguide.
In what ways do you think she caused you to change your view
of yourself? Confidence you can do it, but
she was there for the Thomas Berryman number, so that was a
big, you know, big deal. She's very funny, very funny

(02:09):
and, and, and confidence in, in,in your humor and just, and I
think probably the most important thing weirdly, is
understanding that I could love another person at that level and
that I was lovable. T Huge, massive.

(02:32):
A lot of guys don't really thinkthey're lovable.
They kid about it and they can brag about it, but they don't
really believe they're lovable. You said.
And they don't know how to love another person.
In her remaining days, you know,she's in a wheelchair.
They're clumps of hair you wroteabout sprouting all over her
head, and you wrote that. Yet during those days, I was

(02:56):
more in love with Jane than I'd ever been.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What she was just a St. she was so she was so conscious of other
people. She would, you know, she was in
and out of hospitals for a couple of years and people would
visit her all the time. And she had these like 50
different funny hats because shedidn't want them to come, come

(03:17):
and get be bummed out. We want to get married at the
end. And we just said, you know,
it'll just but it's going to bump people out.
It's just going to be a weepy wedding and it's so it's so
we're not going to do it. What?
Do you think you learned well the.
Main thing was, was just this notion about, about loving
someone and, and, and what that means and that you're capable of

(03:41):
it, which I think is huge for a lot of people.
I don't know that they, you know, especially now, I think a
lot of people, they just don't know.
They think it's going to be thatit's going to be all this
sacrifice and they have to change like crazy.
And it doesn't really have to bethat way.
And and if you're in a relationship where you feel
you're going to have to change like crazy, you're probably in
the wrong relationship. We'll be back with another
positive story from the past interview next Thursday, and

(04:03):
we'll pull it from our highest performing clips according to
our digital community. Head over to youtube.com/graham
Bensinger to join us. Thanks again for listening.