Episode Transcript
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(00:18):
Well, hey guys, it is John C.
Morley here, serial entrepreneur.
It's great to be with you on Inspirations
for Your Life.
Today, it is July 3rd, 2025, and a
big welcome to everyone here that has tuned
in for the very first time for Inspirations
(00:39):
for Your Life.
If you are coming back or multiple times,
then I of course welcome you to be
here today on the Inspirations for Your Life
show because we've got an amazing show here.
If you have come here many times, well,
(01:00):
of course, I welcome you back.
It's always great to have people that have
been with us for a while and find
value in the show.
So, again, a very big welcome to everyone
if you're new, and of course, a big
welcome if you're coming on back.
You can always catch more of these shows,
more of my short-form content and long
(01:20):
-form content by visiting BelieveMeAchieved.com.
You do that 24 hours a day, you
do that right after the show, absolutely.
And by the way, the master topic that
we started on last Saturday is walking forward
with purpose.
And today's granular topic for July 3rd, the
day before July 4th, hey, how about that
(01:41):
guys?
It's a really good one.
I think you're going to love this master
topic.
You ready?
All right.
So, the master topic for, as you said,
the granular topic, really, it's the granular topic
for today.
And that granular topic is real strength is
shown by mastering destructive impulses.
Series four, show 27, episode number six.
(02:03):
And again, a very big welcome to everyone.
So let's get the show kicked off, all
right, everyone?
By the way, we air any time in
the morning from when I get up to
just before I go to bed, but I
do put the show on every single day.
So again, if any of you guys are
thirsty, well, head over to the kitchen, get
yourself something delicious.
Maybe it's hot, maybe it's cold.
(02:24):
I had some orange juice and I have
my arrow water here, whoops, just got that
in my eye.
So feel free to do that, something hot,
something cold, something sweet or tart, healthy or
not, that's totally up to you.
All right, guys, and hurry on back.
So welcome to another provoking and of course,
thought empowering episode of Inspirations for Your Life.
(02:44):
I am your host, podcast coach, engineer, serial
entrepreneur, video producer, and much more.
I'm John C.
Morley, and I'm also a passionate lifelong learner.
Today, I'm diving into what it really means
to be strong, okay?
(03:05):
True strength isn't about how loud we shout
or how hard we hit back.
It's about mastering the destructive impulses that could
tear us or others down and away from
our dreams.
When we choose control over chaos, we unlock
(03:27):
the path to lasting growth, resilience, and of
course, inner peace.
Let's explore together how each of these principles
can help you live with more intention, grace,
and of course, power.
You ready, guys?
Let's kick it off.
So number one is strength.
Strength equals self-control.
(03:49):
Real strength isn't in overpowering others.
It's in mastering ourselves.
When destructive impulses rise up, whether it's anger,
frustration, or jealousy, true strength means choosing to
pause, breathe, and to act with purpose.
Self-control allows us to truly stay focused
(04:11):
on what truly matters, even when emotions run
high.
By learning to harness the strength, we become
leaders in our own lives and set an
example for those around us.
Number two, think, guys.
Don't react.
In moments of tension, the first instinct may
be to just lash out or to defend
(04:32):
ourselves because of some quick feeling we have
inside.
But the real power actually, guys, comes from
thinking before we act.
Reflection gives us clarity, helping us choose words
and actions that align with our, well, our
values.
When we think and not react, we turn
(04:55):
those challenges into, well, opportunities for growth.
It's a practice.
It's a mindset that transforms conflict into understanding
and builds stronger connections with others.
And I think that's all we want today.
We don't want to alienate ourselves from others.
We want to be part of teams because
we can do more when we are part
(05:17):
of groups.
Ready for the next one?
I'm sure you are.
So these are very, very important things, very
important things.
So that's going to take us on to
our next one.
And I think this one is kind of
(05:40):
cool.
Pause is equal to a power.
There's incredible power in the pause that we
choose to take in life.
That moment of stillness between impulses and actions.
It's where strength lies and it lives.
And when we pause, we create a space
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to choose wisely rather than react impulsively.
Pausing lets us gather our thoughts, regain our
center, and respond with intention.
This simple practice can diffuse conflict deep in
respect and keep us aligned with our true
purpose.
(06:22):
Channel energy.
Destructive impulses often come from that powerful energy.
Energy that can be redirected toward creation, not
destruction.
We channel that integrity, okay, which is what
we all need to do.
If it's something positive, we can innovate, we
(06:43):
can build, and we can inspire.
Not just ourselves, but others.
Instead of letting frustration or anger control us,
we can use it as fuel to empower
us and solve problems, support others, or work
together on mutual goals or missions.
It's a shift that turns challenges into triumphs.
(07:05):
Master yourself.
Mastering yourself means being aware of your impulses,
acknowledging them, and choosing a higher path in
life.
It's about cultivating discipline and emotional intelligence so
that your choices reflect your best self.
Each time, guys, you master a destructive impulse,
(07:27):
you strengthen your inner core and armor, becoming,
well, more unshakable, uh, more confident, and more
at peace.
Let me say that again.
Each time that you master a destructive impulse,
you strengthen your inner core and armor.
(07:50):
Calm beats chaos in a world, well, full
of noise and turmoil.
Being calm is the ultimate strength.
When you stay calm, even as storms rage
around you, you bring in reigning clarity and
stability to any situation.
(08:11):
Calmness disarms, well, conflict.
It soothes tension and helps you navigate challenges
with true wisdom.
It's not weakness, it's mastery, and it's what
allows you to lead with heart and true
courage.
I think these are important things for everyone
to understand, but I know that in the
(08:34):
heat of the moment, people sometimes get so,
I don't know, they get so unruly.
They get so frustrated because, you know, they
want it now, they want it now, they
want it now.
They don't understand what it means to be
in the moment, to enjoy life, to understand
(08:56):
the blessings that we either have today or
the blessings that have not yet reached us.
This is the part of the show, guys,
I really like.
I like the whole show, but this is
one of my favorite parts.
So I'm now going to give you a
personal lesson or story for each point.
(09:26):
To teach something.
And it's my hope, guys, that by doing
this, you're going to awaken that sleeping giant
(09:47):
within you.
The giant that basically wants to get out,
that wants to explore this amazing world, okay?
And I think that can be hard for
some people because sometimes they don't know when
it's time to let the giant out.
The giant is basically that creative self.
(10:10):
The one that says, hey, you know what?
You're good at what you're doing, but you
know what?
If you let me help you, I think
we could be a lot better.
And I think the reason the giant doesn't
come out is because people get so, well,
stuck in their ways.
(10:32):
And they feel that the way they've been
doing in the past is right, but that
might not be wrong, but there may be
a better way.
So we talked about self in the beginning.
We said self is about self-control, right?
Strength is self-control.
I remember a time early in my career
when a client unfairly berated me during a
meeting.
(10:53):
The younger version of me wanted to snap
back and defend myself on the spot.
The heat of frustration built up so strongly
that I could feel my heart pounding against
my clothes.
But I paused for a moment, took a
deep breath, held it for a count of
three or four, let it out for about
(11:14):
four count, did it a few times.
And by pausing and taking that breath and
reminding myself that real strength doesn't lie in
winning the argument.
It lays in staying composed.
That's what the ego would want me to
do, to, you know, overcome this with power.
(11:36):
And that's not the right thing.
I calmly acknowledged their concerns and suggested we
take the discussion offline to better address the
issue.
The decision not only salvaged the relationship, but
it earned me respect as someone who could
lead under pressure.
And sometimes people want to push your buttons,
(11:59):
and I think that's a terrible, terrible thing.
They do.
And when they push your buttons, they're wanting
to, well, get a rise out of you.
Even though they know that may not be
the right thing, they have this childish way
(12:19):
and figure that's the best thing that they
can do because they want power, their ego
wants power.
They don't want power, their ego wants power.
And the ego sometimes gets in the way
of the real person that we are in
life.
I think that's a very, very important thing.
Later on, guys, that client privately apologized for
(12:41):
their behavior.
And we went on to do great work
together.
That moment taught me that self-control isn't
about suppressing emotions, guys.
It's about choosing the right time and place
to act.
When we master ourselves, we can influence outcomes
far more powerfully than when we let our
(13:04):
emotions control us.
I think that's something that many people don't
realize is that there is a time and
place for everything.
There's a time for communication.
There's a time for explaining something's wrong.
There's a time for being grateful.
(13:25):
There's a time for speaking out.
There's a time for listening.
There's a time for just being in the
moment.
There's a time for choosing to take a
breath and getting ourselves in full composure.
I think those are really important things that
many of us need to learn.
(13:46):
Think, don't react.
Once during a community project, a disagreement erupted
between two teams over how to allocate some
funds.
As you could imagine, temper started to flare
up immediately.
And I was caught in the middle of
this situation feeling the urge to pick a
side and respond on the spot.
(14:08):
But instead, I asked for a short break.
I stepped outside, I took a walk with
a few deep breaths and thought carefully about
what really mattered.
Serving this community and preserving harmony among the
teams.
But I needed some time to regroup.
I gave everyone else some time to regroup.
(14:30):
And when I returned, I proposed a compromise
that addressed both sides' concerns.
The teams appreciated the thought, full approach, and
we moved forward stronger and better than ever.
That day, I learned that when we think
and not react, we make room for creative
(14:52):
solutions and preserve relationships that might otherwise be
damaged by hasty words or potential actions.
So a lot of us believe that, you
know, if we're hit, we've got to respond.
But I don't know if you guys know
this, not responding is responding.
(15:15):
You might say, well, John, that makes no
sense.
Processing is responding.
Let's the other person know that you're thinking
about and if they still are pushing like,
I understand where you're coming from.
I just need a minute to process all
this.
(15:37):
Resist, don't destroy.
I once worked alongside a colleague who constantly
tried to undermine me.
There are moments I wanted to expose their
behavior or confront them harshly.
But I knew that doing that could also
damage not only my reputation, but the entire
team's dynamic.
(15:59):
Instead, I chose to focus on excelling at
my work and quietly documenting the situation in
case it needed to be formally addressed in
the future.
Months later, leadership noticed the disparity in our
actions.
Without me having to stir conflict, my resilience
(16:20):
and focus were recognized and I was given
more responsibility.
Resisting the urge to destroy taught me that
patience and integrity often achieve what aggression never
could.
Again, this wasn't a local community group.
What it was is not important.
But in this group, everyone always feels they
(16:41):
need to be right.
And after the situation, I started realizing, you
know what?
Being right is nice, but maybe being right
is overrated.
Maybe learning from something, never knowing that the
choice and the path and the roads that
I took were going to lead me to
greater victory.
I just knew that it was the right
(17:01):
thing at the moment.
I think most people, when they have the
choice between the right thing and what's going
to empower them, well, that's when you've got
to take that pause.
That's when you've got to realize, again, that
(17:23):
pause equals a power.
Think of pause like, you know, maybe you're
watching a show.
Could be streaming it, what have you.
And you choose pause on your remote control.
That allows you to go to the kitchen
and get yourself a snack.
(17:45):
It allows you to do some important things.
But what it doesn't do is get you
riled up in the moment.
And so when you pause, it's like you
have this ability to do some amazing things.
But people are afraid to pause.
(18:08):
They are afraid to pause.
I'll never forget the first time I had
to deliver some, well, not great news to
a team.
We lost a major client.
I could feel the tension in the room
and the expectation that I'd have all the
answers immediately.
(18:29):
But instead of rushing to speak, I paused.
I took a deep breath.
I gathered my thoughts calmly and chose my
words carefully.
That moment of pause gave me clarity and
allowed me to communicate with honesty and optimism
rather than panic.
And not only did I have the right
words, but the message got delivered in the
(18:50):
right manner because my body matched.
And people could see that my words were
in alignment with how my body was delivering
the message, which is the most important part
a lot of times of the message, the
part you don't say.
Afterwards, guys, several team members told me that
my calm approach and demeanor gave them inner
(19:11):
confidence in the plan we created together to
move forward.
That experience reinforced for me that the power
of the pause is in creating space for
wisdom to emerge.
Now, you know what happens?
Our crew has basically a sign.
(19:33):
And whenever somebody is getting too riled up,
they literally reach down and they hold up
the pause sign.
And people chuckle like, oh, yeah, you're right,
you're right.
I got to take a pause.
Yeah, I'm getting too emotional with this decision
or I'm letting my ego get too involved.
(19:53):
And they laugh about it because no matter
where we go, everybody always has a pause
sign.
And I just think it's comical.
One person said that we were going to
make an LED light that says, you know,
pause.
I have one guy that actually has a
thing for his computer that says pause.
And whenever he does a remote session with
(20:13):
somebody and they're getting out of whack, he
just throws this big pause up.
And sometimes if they're not getting it, he
literally puts their name like, hey, Mike, how
about a pause?
And then that kind of gets them because
they thought that some people think the pause
is like not for them.
They think the pause is like we should
pause the meeting, but it's not for them
(20:34):
to pause.
So I think that's a kind of a
cool thing to realize.
Energy, we're all energy.
My computer, my hands, legs, this water, my
iPhone, it's building it, beating, I should say,
the impulses in it thousands of times per
(20:55):
second or more.
And so everything is moving.
Everything still has molecules in it, not to
get too deep with you.
This gets into our quantum physics, which I
won't get too deep in today.
But if everything around us is energy, the
show, my car, where I live, everything is
(21:16):
energy.
That means that we have the power to
affect it.
There was a period when I was dealing
with intense frustration over a stalled project.
Rather than letting the frustration boil over into
all complaints or blame, I funneled it into,
(21:38):
well, action.
I stayed late, reworked proposals and brainstormed new
solutions.
I also encouraged the team to join me
in problem-solving sessions instead of venting sessions.
I think that's an important thing.
When we can redefine what a session is,
like the fact that this is not a
(22:00):
venting session or the fact that this is
a, you know, you might want to call
it a problem-solving session or you might
want to call it a work session or
a productivity session.
Sometimes the words make a big difference.
If you call it a problem session and
your team doesn't relate well to the word
problem, you might say, gee, this is a
brainstorming session or this is a work session
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where we're going to get on the same
page.
Or this is a productivity session or this
is an improvement session.
I found that works a lot better than
calling it a problem session because if it's
a problem, people are just thinking it's a
problem and you want to put people in
a positive light.
In the end, okay, that energy transformed into,
(22:43):
oh, magical innovation.
We secured a better client than the one
we had lost and that taught me that
strong emotions don't have to be destructive.
When we channel them, they become the fuel
that powers great achievements.
But sometimes you just have to realize that
(23:05):
it's not about rushing forward.
It's walking briskly and being aware of everything
around you.
That's probably the most important things I want
to share with you today.
The next point is master yourself.
Years ago, I faced a personal betrayal by
(23:27):
someone I trusted very deeply.
The initial sting made me want to lash
out or sever ties with them completely.
But instead, I spent time reflecting, journaling, and
seeking counsel from my mentors on the team.
I chose to master my feelings and respond
with dignity rather than anger.
(23:48):
A lot of people knew several people had
challenges, but it wasn't about calling people out.
It was about the fact that we needed
to work together.
It wasn't like, hey, Jim, you're getting up
in my face or, hey, Mike, you're being
nasty.
It's like, all right, I know we all
have a desire to get this company to
grow forward with more clients.
(24:10):
And I know we all have our own
ways to do it.
I think it's important that we put all
these ideas on the table and then we
figure out how we can get them to
dynamically integrate so that they work together as
a symbiotic connection.
And to do that, we need to put
them out there in a way that is
(24:31):
nonjudgmental, that is without emotion, just the facts,
all right, just the ideas, and then we'll
kind of review them.
The choice not only protected my peace, but
also helped me heal faster and stay focused
on what truly matters.
Mastering yourself doesn't mean you don't feel hurt.
(24:52):
It means you choose responses that align with
your values and protect your growth.
And others.
Calm beats the chaos.
During a major tech system outage at our
company, not our fault, people were panicking, alarms
were going off, calls were flooding in, and
it felt like the sky was falling.
(25:15):
I made a conscious decision to center myself
before giving any direction.
I gathered the team, acknowledged the stress, and
calmly outlined our recovery plan.
The calmness made contagious, well, people settle down.
It focused and solved the problem faster than
expected.
What was the problem?
Well, we had a provider that had suddenly
(25:39):
gone down.
And so all we did was we rerouted
our traffic to another provider, and we were
able to resolve the issue within a matter
of maybe 5 to 10 minutes.
When people were calling in, and we let
them know, yes, we are aware of the
situation, and we are implementing a fix as
(26:03):
we speak.
One of our providers has gone down.
We're in the process of rerouting traffic.
You might get some errors for the next
5 or 10 minutes, but rest assured, we
are working on this.
And like I said, before the end of
the hour, which will be in about 10
minutes, everything will be backed up and running.
If you have any more problems, feel free
to give us a call.
That was a lot better than, oh, my
(26:24):
gosh, we're trying to reroute the traffic.
Now, we didn't know how well, how quickly
it was going to work.
But we were very focused on the fact
that it was going to work.
And guess what?
It did.
That's important.
That day reminded me that calmness is the
most powerful force we have in the middle
of chaos.
(26:44):
When you choose to be calm, you create
a ripple effect that helps everyone around you
rise to the occasion with clarity and strength.
I'm going to share another one.
That's in fire prevention and also in fire
drills.
So I was on a, let's say, a
call.
And when I say a call, basically, it
was a fire call in our building that
(27:07):
we were at in college.
And suddenly, I realized that the best thing
to do was to be calm, regardless of
whether we thought the alarm was real or
not.
And doing that calmed everyone else down and
made people see that, you know what?
We're going to get through this.
And that's the most important thing.
It's our vision and it's our belief that
sets it through.
(27:28):
Have a great day, everyone.
See you soon.