July 8, 2025 • 29 mins
Hey everyone and welcome back to another eye-opening episode of the Inspirations for Your Life Podcast! I'm your host, John C. Morley — Serial Entrepreneur, Podcast Coach, and someone who has seen firsthand how trust or the lack of it can shape our personal and professional lives. Today, we’re going to unpack a powerful truth: trust opens doors, but force slams them shut. If you've ever felt the sting of being forced or the warmth of being trusted, you know this isn't just theory — it's real-life wisdom. So whether you're a leader, a friend, a partner, or just trying to understand human dynamics a little better, this episode is packed with insights to shift how you connect and lead. 1️⃣ Trust builds lasting relationships. 🤝✨
When you build trust, you're not just creating a one-time transaction — you’re laying the foundation for long-term connection. Trust is the invisible glue that makes relationships resilient and meaningful. Whether it’s in business, friendship, or family, people stay when they feel seen, heard, and respected. Relationships built on trust can weather disagreements, adapt to change, and grow stronger over time. 2️⃣ Force creates short-term compliance, long-term damage. 🚫🧨
Force may get quick results, but it comes at a cost. Compliance achieved through intimidation, manipulation, or pressure doesn’t last — it decays morale and invites resentment. Eventually, people pull away, quit, or retaliate. You might win a battle with force, but you’ll lose the war for loyalty, creativity, and sustainability. 3️⃣ Trust invites cooperation and openness. 🗣️💡
When trust is present, people open up. Ideas flow, feedback is shared honestly, and collaboration feels natural. Trust removes the fear of judgment or rejection, replacing it with the courage to contribute. In teams or friendships, that kind of openness is the gateway to innovation and progress. 4️⃣ Force triggers fear and resistance. 🧱😨
On the flip side, force activates the survival instinct. People shut down, go silent, or rebel. Even if they seem to comply, internally they’re disengaging. Fear-based environments create mental walls — and the longer they're up, the harder they are to dismantle. Instead of collaboration, you get quiet sabotage or emotional detachment. 5️⃣ Trust earns respect; force demands it. 🫡🔊
True respect cannot be commanded — it must be earned. When people trust your character and values, they naturally respect your leadership. Force may demand respect through authority or fear, but it’s not genuine — and it disappears the moment power shifts. Trust keeps respect intact, even in tough conversations. 6️⃣ Trust empowers growth and innovation. 🌱🚀
When people feel trusted, they take initiative, make bold moves, and grow. Trust gives them permission to experiment, fail, and try again — knowing they’re supported. It creates a growth environment, where learning is safe and creativity thrives. If you want progress, trust is your fuel. 7️⃣ Force limits creativity and freedom. 🔒🧠
Creativity can’t thrive in a cage. When people are micromanaged, threatened, or coerced, their minds focus on survival, not solutions. Innovation requires freedom — freedom to ask “what if” and to take smart risks. Force narrows the mind; trust opens it wide. 8️⃣ Trust fosters loyalty; force breaks bonds. 🔗💔
People stick around when they feel valued and trusted. Loyalty grows in environments of mutual respect and psychological safety. Force, however, fractures trust and pushes people away. You may get obedience, but you’ll never get commitment. And without commitment, any team or relationship is on shaky ground. 9️⃣ Trust requires patience; force rushes results. ⏳🏃♂️
Trust isn’t built overnight — it’s nurtured over time. It requires consistency, listening, and empathy. Force, on the other hand, demands instant results, often sacrificing quality or sustainability. Leaders who play the long game build cultures and rel
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
Hey, guys.
How are you?
Good evening.
It's John Simorelli here, serial entrepreneur.
It's great to be with you on Inspirations
(00:30):
for Your Life.
Today is Tuesday, July 8th, 2025.
Great to be with you here tonight, everyone.
Thanks for tuning in.
If this is your first time, well, welcome.
If you're coming back, well, welcome back.
Thanks so much for coming back to all
this great innovation that will improve the quality
of your life.
(00:51):
Our master topic for the week is trust
the process and ditch the force because force
doesn't have any place in success.
And the granular for this evening is trust
opens doors.
Force closes them.
Series four, show 28, episode number four.
Hey, guys, if you're thirsty, don't forget to
(01:12):
grab something delicious from your kitchen.
Maybe it's a fresh arobata like I have
here.
Nice icy cold water.
Or maybe it's a snack.
It could be fruit.
It could be chocolate.
It could be something sweet or tart.
That choice is totally up to you.
But go ahead and grab that and come
on back to the show.
(01:32):
And let's kick this off.
All right, everyone.
So I want to welcome you formally to
another eye-opening episode of Inspirations for Your
Life.
I am your host, podcast coach, serial entrepreneur,
video producer, engineer, and a lot more.
I'm John C.
Morley, and it is a privilege and pleasure
to be here.
And I'm passionate about helping people improve their
(01:54):
personal and professional lives.
Tonight, I'm going to unpack a powerful truth
that opens doors, but force slams them.
So what opens doors?
That's trust.
Trust opens doors, but force slams them shut.
(02:17):
I think that's important to understand exactly what
that means.
If you've ever felt the sting of being
trusted, you know this isn't just theory.
It's real-life wisdom.
So whether you're a leader, a friend, a
partner, or just trying to understand human dynamics
(02:40):
a little better, this episode is packed with
some real nuggets to shift how you connect
and lead in your life.
All righty, let's get started.
Number one, trust builds lasting relationships.
I know that's hard for a lot of
you to believe, but it is the truth,
guys.
(03:01):
Trust does that every single time.
I think a lot of people don't necessarily
know or believe it, but it is the
truth, guys.
Trust builds lasting relationships.
When you make a choice to build trust,
you're not just creating a one-time transaction.
(03:21):
You're laying the foundation for long-term connection
with someone.
This is an invisible glue that makes relationships
resilient and meaningful.
Whether it's in your business, friendship, or family,
people stay when they feel seen, heard, and
respected.
Relationships build on trust, and they can weather
(03:43):
disagreements, adapt to change, and grow stronger over
time.
A lot of people are in such a
rush to build trust that they often, well,
they, let's say, short-circuit before it has
a chance to begin.
I think that's an important thing to understand,
(04:04):
is how that actually works.
Maybe you're saying to me, what does all
this mean?
Well, it means that we got to take
our time.
It means that we can't be in a
hurry, that we have to build connections because
we want to build them, not because we
have to.
Number two, guys, force creates short-term compliance,
(04:26):
but long-term damage.
Yeah, force creates short-term compliance and long
-term damage.
I think that's an important thing to understand.
(04:46):
All right, very important.
Force may get quick results for you, and
you think you're winning, but it comes at
a cost.
Compliance achieved through intimidation, manipulation, or pressure doesn't
last.
It decays.
The moral goes down, and it invites resentment.
(05:07):
Eventually, people pull away, quit, or even retaliate.
You might win a battle with force, but
you'll lose the war for loyalty.
Creativity and sustainability are the key.
Again, you might win a battle with force,
okay, but you will lose the war for
loyalty, creativity, and sustainability.
(05:30):
I know that's something that a lot of
you are like, oh, John, I don't believe
in that.
Well, you don't have to believe me.
You can just look all around you and
see some of the relationships that you have
or don't have.
Number three, trust invites cooperation and openness.
When trust is present, people open up.
(05:50):
Ideas flow.
Feedback is shared honestly, and collaboration feels natural.
Trust removes the fear of judgment or rejection,
replacing it with, well, the courage to contribute
in a way like teams or friendships.
(06:12):
The kind of openness is the gateway to
innovation and progress.
Again, you can't do this in a rush,
guys.
This is something that takes time.
I know you may be saying, well, John,
I don't have time.
I just want to do this today.
Well, see, that's a problem, guys.
That's absolutely a problem because if you're doing
(06:36):
something for just the moment, then you're really
not doing it for the right reasons.
Ready for number four?
Number four is force triggers fear and resistance.
On the flip side, force activates a survival
instinct, which is necessary sometimes.
(06:56):
People shut down, they go silent, or they
often rebel.
Even if they seem to comply internally, they're
disengaged.
Fear-based environments create mental walls.
The longer they're up, well, the harder they
are to dismantle.
Instead of collaboration, you get quiet sabotage or
emotional detachment.
You know what I mean.
(07:17):
It's like the person's there, but they're really
not there.
I know that sounds like something that's hard
to believe, but I'm here to tell you
guys, this is the truth.
This absolutely is the truth.
Maybe you're saying to me, John, well, this
is what we should do, but this is
what we're going to do because we don't
have time for that.
(07:39):
I get it, but people know when you're
being decent and honest.
Number five, trust earns respect, force demands it.
Trust earns respect, and force demands it.
Just think about those words.
(08:00):
How do they make you feel?
Well, probably something that may cause some challenges.
You might be saying, why?
I think the question is, if you do
something, you don't know how you're feeling, then
that could be a problem.
You want to feel good afterwards.
(08:21):
True respect, guys, cannot be commanded.
It must be earned.
When people trust your character and your values,
they naturally respect your leadership.
Force may demand respect through authority or fear,
but it's not genuine, and it disappears the
moment there's a power shift.
See, trust keeps respect intact.
(08:44):
Even in those tough conversations, trust empowers growth
and innovation.
Number six, when people feel trusted, they take
initiative, they make bold moves, and they grow.
Trust gives them permission to experiment, to fail,
and to try again.
(09:04):
Knowing they're supported, it creates a growth environment
where learning, let's face it, is safe and
creativity thrives.
If you want progress, trust is your fuel.
I know there are lots of other fuels
out there, but I'm here to you guys
that if you don't operate in trust, you're
not going to be there for long.
(09:25):
This is my ultimate truth to you guys.
You're not going to be there for long.
I think that's something that many people just
don't seem to realize, that just because you're
going someplace in a moment, you might not
be going anywhere later.
Maybe you're saying, well, gee, I can get
(09:45):
by with this for now.
Maybe you're saying that, but then again, maybe
you're wondering why people are not following you.
I think the reason for that is because
people aren't following you because they don't have
respect in the end.
(10:10):
Does that make sense?
I know that can sound hard, but it's
true.
Truth comes because that's who we are, but
(10:34):
sometimes in the moment, we're not truthful with
ourselves and we're not truthful with others.
I think that can cause some differences of
opinion.
It can cause some impulse reactions, things that
we're later going to regret.
I think that's an important thing to realize.
So force limits creativity and freedom, number seven.
(10:58):
Creativity can't thrive in a cage, guys.
When people are micromanaged, threatened, or even coerced,
their minds focus on survival, not solutions.
Innovation requires freedom.
Freedom to ask, what if, and to take
smart risks.
Force narrows the mind, trust opens it wide.
(11:18):
So force narrows the mind and trust opens
it wide.
I think if you talk to anybody, they'd
be like, oh, that's not true.
But then if you're around somebody for a
long time, you're like, wait a minute, you
know what?
I think that actually makes sense what you're
saying.
Yeah, it does make sense.
It makes an awful lot of sense.
And I think that's something that most people
don't realize.
(11:40):
They don't realize what that means.
But I'm here to tell you that it's
about you in what you stand for.
I mean, everybody can do things in the
moment, right?
But if it's not something that you believe
(12:02):
in, then it's fleeting.
So trust forces loyalty and force breaks it.
People stick around when they feel valued and
trusted.
Loyalty grows in environments of mutual respect and
psychological safety.
Force, however, fractures trust and pushes people away.
You may get obedience, but you'll never get
(12:24):
commitment.
And without commitment, any team or relationship is
on, well, shaky ground that's bound to collapse
anytime.
Now, do you really want your life like
that?
I don't think so.
(12:46):
I think you want it more on where
things are going.
I think you want things about truth.
I think those are important things to realize.
You want it to be about truth.
(13:07):
And so realize what I said about trust
fostering loyalty and force breaking it.
You might not believe this because you think
others are winning, but really all they're doing
is manipulating somebody or some group.
Then you think you can do that.
But what you're missing is the fact that
later on, those people are not followers.
(13:27):
Those people were barely even following now.
It's like they were being thrown to do
it.
But next time, they may not so easily.
And the third time, they may not even
think about doing it.
Trust, guys, requires patience.
Force rushes the results.
Trust isn't built overnight.
It's nurtured over time.
(13:47):
We've said this.
It requires consistency, listening, and real empathy.
Force, on the other hand, demands instant results,
often sacrificing quality or sustainability.
Leaders who play the long game build cultures
and relationships that last far beyond those quick
(14:09):
wins.
Number 10, every area of life that you
have, trust wins always.
Whether it's the boardroom to the living room,
trust is the cornerstone of anything meaningful.
It's not just a soft skill.
It's a power skill.
(14:30):
When you lead with trust, you open the
door to deeper influence, stronger relationships, and a
life aligned with integrity and true purpose.
And in the end, those are the wins
that really matter.
I know we covered an awful lot here.
Here's the part of the show that I
(14:51):
like.
I like the whole show, but here's the
part of the show I think that a
lot of you are going to find, let's
say, very, very valuable.
So what I like to do in this
part of the show is I basically come
up with some personal lessons or stories, one
(15:13):
for each point.
And it's my hope that by doing this,
you're going to gain appreciation for trust, knowing
how to implement trust, knowing where trust belongs,
knowing where trust naturally thrives.
(15:41):
So trust can survive, right?
But it's another thing when trust thrives.
I think a lot of people have some
trust that's surviving, but people are wondering, is
that ever going to end?
And the question to that is, yeah, probably.
Because it's like they want to do it,
(16:06):
but then when they check back, it's like,
wait a minute, this doesn't align with who
I am or why am I following this
person?
They haven't really been truthful or trusting to
me.
And I think that's a hard thing or
hard pill for a lot of people to
swallow, right?
I think that's important to know.
(16:35):
Does that make sense?
I think most people have to realize that
these lessons will help them the rest of
their life.
Trust builds lasting relationships.
Years ago, when I first started working with
(16:57):
a client on a complex IT infrastructure upgrade,
there were countless moving parts and unknowns.
Instead of pressuring them with tech jargon or
pushing decisions, I chose to build some trust
first.
I listened to their concerns.
I shared some honest assessments.
Even when it wasn't what they wanted to
hear, it gave them the space to ask
(17:19):
questions.
Slowly, the trust was built and grew.
They started replying and relaying to my input,
not just for that project, but for other
aspects of their whole tech strategy.
That was a big win.
The client is still with the J-More
(17:39):
Connection today over several decades later.
We've seen each other through transitions, challenges, and
successes.
That relationship didn't thrive because of sales tactics.
It flourished because of mutual respect and consistent
trust.
It proved to me that trust isn't just
nice to have.
It's the bedrock of longevity in both personal
(18:03):
and professional relationships.
I think sometimes we get caught in this
game of, what are the Joneses doing?
What should I be doing?
I think that's an important thing to realize.
Number two, force creates short-term compliance and
it's definitely long-term damage.
(18:26):
Early in my career, I worked for a
manager at a government company while J-More
was still a part-time business when I
graduated college.
I knew it was going to become full
-time, but I wanted to go be in
the field for a little bit and to
put some money away.
Every conversation felt like a threat.
(18:49):
Miss a deadline and you were publicly humiliated.
Initially, everyone complied, afraid of losing their jobs
or being berated, but beneath the surface, the
team spirit eroded.
People stopped sharing ideas, mistakes got hidden, and
turnover skyrocketed.
Let me share something that happened to you.
I was managing three schools for a drive
(19:18):
from one location to another location.
There were two other locations that I'd have
to drive between.
The home location where I was at had
a little bit of a school, but not
a real big one.
I was responsible for managing somewhere around 500
to 600 computers.
I was the TCS, Technical Services Coordinator, TSC,
(19:40):
I should say.
They gave me the title because they didn't
want to pay me a lot of money,
so they called me a coordinator that obviously
doesn't have a lot of skill, but I
actually had a lot of skill.
That didn't bother me so much, but what
did was one day, because sometimes they were
not always nice, and that didn't bother me
(20:01):
either.
The fact that my manager would put me
down because he didn't understand something and he
wanted me to explain in a different language
and he was rude about it.
When he was supposed to know what I
know in 10 times more, but he didn't
know a tenth of what I knew.
I remember going to one of these locations
one day.
It was very hot.
(20:23):
Normally, the trip would take about maybe 22
minutes.
Well, that day, it took an extra seven
minutes.
Not a big deal, right?
You have to sign in and sign out
on a pad, and I did.
I came back, and this lady at the
(20:45):
desk, an elder lady, she was like the
Gestapo.
She says, where were you?
I said, I just came back from the
other office.
I know, but you're seven minutes later than
the time that it normally takes you.
I checked what time you signed out.
I said, oh, you did?
Yeah, I checked with such and such, and
she said, you signed out at this time,
so that would have brought you here seven
(21:06):
minutes ago.
What happened?
I said, well, let's go back, shall we?
First of all, I had to find a
spot for my car.
That took me a little bit longer because
the lot was kind of filled, and it
was very hot outside.
I left.
That took me an extra maybe, let's say,
(21:30):
four minutes.
Then on the way back, I hadn't had
lunch, and I just stopped to get a
nice tall bottle of ice cold water.
She goes, aha, we got you.
Got me what?
I didn't take lunch.
(21:50):
The way I was ridiculed that time, I
went home, and I knew Thanksgiving was coming
up very soon.
I also knew that I only had to
be there two more weeks, and I'd be
fully vested.
To me, it wasn't about the money.
It was about the principle.
I went into the HR person's office the
next morning, knocked on the door, and I
(22:13):
said, thank you.
You're welcome.
I said, no, I want to say thank
you for helping me become a better version
of myself and helping you become a better
version of yourself.
I said, John, what are you talking about?
Well, I want to let you know that
today is going to be my very last
day.
If you quit today, you're going to miss
(22:34):
the opportunity of becoming fully vested in two
weeks.
I said, you know, the money might be
important to some people, but I'm going to
make billions more.
To me, your principles and how you treat
people, it doesn't align with who I am,
so I'm going to say goodbye and move
on.
(22:54):
That took care.
That organization today has gone from three buildings
down to one, and they've gone from, let's
say, 1,000 employees down to maybe 35.
As I said, eventually I left that job,
(23:17):
and so did some of my coworkers.
That manager's command and control, and the whole
organization's attitude was toxic, and the approach got
short-term results for me, but it left
behind a trail of burnout, of bitterness, and
broken trust, and I swore to myself that
I would never lead that way.
(23:38):
Force might get a yes today, but it
guarantees a no tomorrow.
I'm going to share another experience.
I was doing work for a client literally
today, and yes, I still learn lessons even
today.
I was trying to explain something to a
team over in India because this one company
uses their own outsourced help desk, but they
needed us to go on-site and to
(24:00):
analyze some things and possibly change a part,
and I explained to this group that this
box had no power.
I explained that everything else has power around
it.
I unplugged the power cord to it, plugged
it into a modder, and said it had
power, and was getting very frustrated with this
today, but I realized one thing about this.
(24:21):
When all this happened today, and I was
just taking it all in, I said, you
know what, John?
You can't do that anymore.
Let me tell you why.
The people on the other end of that
team's call were yelling so loud at me
and not listening to me and disrespecting me,
but as soon as that team's call ended,
(24:42):
you know what happened?
I started to feel dizzy.
That never happens to me.
I started to feel very hot.
The air conditioning wasn't working great in this
one office suite, but I started to feel
dizzy and imbalanced, and this imbalance, the heat
(25:02):
didn't help, but it mostly happened because of
this buzzing in my ears, and this was
happening because of how these clowns treated me
on the phone, and I made a promise
to myself today.
From now on, regardless of who I'm speaking
(25:24):
to, and I'm always nice to clients, but
even if I'm talking to people that are
not respectful, I'm going to politely end the
call.
If they get loud, I'm going to let
them know that you're speaking way too loud.
I need you to tone that down.
I'm going to ask you once, okay?
I'll ask you a second time, and if
I have to ask you a third time,
I'm going to terminate the call, and I
(25:48):
know you might say to me, John, you
may not get paid for that, but you
know what?
Like today, I'm getting paid for that, but
to me, being disrespected says that I don't
respect myself, so I'm worth much more than
that.
(26:09):
I know that, but I have been doing
work for this client for a long time,
and I said to myself, I'm not going
to allow this to happen anymore.
That's a really important thing.
Don't let somebody else use force to bully
you because it doesn't end well.
(26:31):
Just like I left that job, today what
I should have done when I wasn't feeling
great, I should have immediately said, you know
what?
I'm feeling dizzy right now.
I need to hang up with you.
It took me almost an hour to feel
basically normal again.
My hearing took literally over an hour and
(26:53):
a half to come back.
In an hour, I started to feel, let's
say, less dizzy, but I still didn't have
my full hearing back for like an hour
and a half, and in my report, I
wrote up how rude and how disrespectful they
were to me, so you've got to trust
people.
You've also got to realize don't use force
with you because force might appear to get
(27:16):
somewhere, but you know what's going to happen
next time that they do something like that
and they call me?
I'm going to say these words.
You know what those words are going to
be?
N-O, okay?
(27:45):
It's interesting that that happened.
I knew the router was bad when I
talked to you early in the morning.
(28:06):
I'm glad you agree on my professional opinion,
and I think sometimes people don't admit the
(28:29):
fact that they're wrong and they can't admit
that somebody else might be right.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm John Seymour, a serial
entrepreneur.
Don't ever use force.
Use trust.
You'll feel better.
You'll be healthier, but most importantly, other people
will like you more.
Have yourself a great rest of your evening.
Be well, everyone.
Hey, guys.
How are you?
Good evening.
It's John Simorelli here, serial entrepreneur.
It's great to be with you on Inspirations
(00:30):
for Your Life.
Today is Tuesday, July 8th, 2025.
Great to be with you here tonight, everyone.
Thanks for tuning in.
If this is your first time, well, welcome.
If you're coming back, well, welcome back.
Thanks so much for coming back to all
this great innovation that will improve the quality
of your life.
(00:51):
Our master topic for the week is trust
the process and ditch the force because force
doesn't have any place in success.
And the granular for this evening is trust
opens doors.
Force closes them.
Series four, show 28, episode number four.
Hey, guys, if you're thirsty, don't forget to
(01:12):
grab something delicious from your kitchen.
Maybe it's a fresh arobata like I have
here.
Nice icy cold water.
Or maybe it's a snack.
It could be fruit.
It could be chocolate.
It could be something sweet or tart.
That choice is totally up to you.
But go ahead and grab that and come
on back to the show.
(01:32):
And let's kick this off.
All right, everyone.
So I want to welcome you formally to
another eye-opening episode of Inspirations for Your
Life.
I am your host, podcast coach, serial entrepreneur,
video producer, engineer, and a lot more.
I'm John C.
Morley, and it is a privilege and pleasure
to be here.
And I'm passionate about helping people improve their
(01:54):
personal and professional lives.
Tonight, I'm going to unpack a powerful truth
that opens doors, but force slams them.
So what opens doors?
That's trust.
Trust opens doors, but force slams them shut.
(02:17):
I think that's important to understand exactly what
that means.
If you've ever felt the sting of being
trusted, you know this isn't just theory.
It's real-life wisdom.
So whether you're a leader, a friend, a
partner, or just trying to understand human dynamics
(02:40):
a little better, this episode is packed with
some real nuggets to shift how you connect
and lead in your life.
All righty, let's get started.
Number one, trust builds lasting relationships.
I know that's hard for a lot of
you to believe, but it is the truth,
guys.
(03:01):
Trust does that every single time.
I think a lot of people don't necessarily
know or believe it, but it is the
truth, guys.
Trust builds lasting relationships.
When you make a choice to build trust,
you're not just creating a one-time transaction.
(03:21):
You're laying the foundation for long-term connection
with someone.
This is an invisible glue that makes relationships
resilient and meaningful.
Whether it's in your business, friendship, or family,
people stay when they feel seen, heard, and
respected.
Relationships build on trust, and they can weather
(03:43):
disagreements, adapt to change, and grow stronger over
time.
A lot of people are in such a
rush to build trust that they often, well,
they, let's say, short-circuit before it has
a chance to begin.
I think that's an important thing to understand,
(04:04):
is how that actually works.
Maybe you're saying to me, what does all
this mean?
Well, it means that we got to take
our time.
It means that we can't be in a
hurry, that we have to build connections because
we want to build them, not because we
have to.
Number two, guys, force creates short-term compliance,
(04:26):
but long-term damage.
Yeah, force creates short-term compliance and long
-term damage.
I think that's an important thing to understand.
(04:46):
All right, very important.
Force may get quick results for you, and
you think you're winning, but it comes at
a cost.
Compliance achieved through intimidation, manipulation, or pressure doesn't
last.
It decays.
The moral goes down, and it invites resentment.
(05:07):
Eventually, people pull away, quit, or even retaliate.
You might win a battle with force, but
you'll lose the war for loyalty.
Creativity and sustainability are the key.
Again, you might win a battle with force,
okay, but you will lose the war for
loyalty, creativity, and sustainability.
(05:30):
I know that's something that a lot of
you are like, oh, John, I don't believe
in that.
Well, you don't have to believe me.
You can just look all around you and
see some of the relationships that you have
or don't have.
Number three, trust invites cooperation and openness.
When trust is present, people open up.
(05:50):
Ideas flow.
Feedback is shared honestly, and collaboration feels natural.
Trust removes the fear of judgment or rejection,
replacing it with, well, the courage to contribute
in a way like teams or friendships.
(06:12):
The kind of openness is the gateway to
innovation and progress.
Again, you can't do this in a rush,
guys.
This is something that takes time.
I know you may be saying, well, John,
I don't have time.
I just want to do this today.
Well, see, that's a problem, guys.
That's absolutely a problem because if you're doing
(06:36):
something for just the moment, then you're really
not doing it for the right reasons.
Ready for number four?
Number four is force triggers fear and resistance.
On the flip side, force activates a survival
instinct, which is necessary sometimes.
(06:56):
People shut down, they go silent, or they
often rebel.
Even if they seem to comply internally, they're
disengaged.
Fear-based environments create mental walls.
The longer they're up, well, the harder they
are to dismantle.
Instead of collaboration, you get quiet sabotage or
emotional detachment.
You know what I mean.
(07:17):
It's like the person's there, but they're really
not there.
I know that sounds like something that's hard
to believe, but I'm here to tell you
guys, this is the truth.
This absolutely is the truth.
Maybe you're saying to me, John, well, this
is what we should do, but this is
what we're going to do because we don't
have time for that.
(07:39):
I get it, but people know when you're
being decent and honest.
Number five, trust earns respect, force demands it.
Trust earns respect, and force demands it.
Just think about those words.
(08:00):
How do they make you feel?
Well, probably something that may cause some challenges.
You might be saying, why?
I think the question is, if you do
something, you don't know how you're feeling, then
that could be a problem.
You want to feel good afterwards.
(08:21):
True respect, guys, cannot be commanded.
It must be earned.
When people trust your character and your values,
they naturally respect your leadership.
Force may demand respect through authority or fear,
but it's not genuine, and it disappears the
moment there's a power shift.
See, trust keeps respect intact.
(08:44):
Even in those tough conversations, trust empowers growth
and innovation.
Number six, when people feel trusted, they take
initiative, they make bold moves, and they grow.
Trust gives them permission to experiment, to fail,
and to try again.
(09:04):
Knowing they're supported, it creates a growth environment
where learning, let's face it, is safe and
creativity thrives.
If you want progress, trust is your fuel.
I know there are lots of other fuels
out there, but I'm here to you guys
that if you don't operate in trust, you're
not going to be there for long.
(09:25):
This is my ultimate truth to you guys.
You're not going to be there for long.
I think that's something that many people just
don't seem to realize, that just because you're
going someplace in a moment, you might not
be going anywhere later.
Maybe you're saying, well, gee, I can get
(09:45):
by with this for now.
Maybe you're saying that, but then again, maybe
you're wondering why people are not following you.
I think the reason for that is because
people aren't following you because they don't have
respect in the end.
(10:10):
Does that make sense?
I know that can sound hard, but it's
true.
Truth comes because that's who we are, but
(10:34):
sometimes in the moment, we're not truthful with
ourselves and we're not truthful with others.
I think that can cause some differences of
opinion.
It can cause some impulse reactions, things that
we're later going to regret.
I think that's an important thing to realize.
So force limits creativity and freedom, number seven.
(10:58):
Creativity can't thrive in a cage, guys.
When people are micromanaged, threatened, or even coerced,
their minds focus on survival, not solutions.
Innovation requires freedom.
Freedom to ask, what if, and to take
smart risks.
Force narrows the mind, trust opens it wide.
(11:18):
So force narrows the mind and trust opens
it wide.
I think if you talk to anybody, they'd
be like, oh, that's not true.
But then if you're around somebody for a
long time, you're like, wait a minute, you
know what?
I think that actually makes sense what you're
saying.
Yeah, it does make sense.
It makes an awful lot of sense.
And I think that's something that most people
don't realize.
(11:40):
They don't realize what that means.
But I'm here to tell you that it's
about you in what you stand for.
I mean, everybody can do things in the
moment, right?
But if it's not something that you believe
(12:02):
in, then it's fleeting.
So trust forces loyalty and force breaks it.
People stick around when they feel valued and
trusted.
Loyalty grows in environments of mutual respect and
psychological safety.
Force, however, fractures trust and pushes people away.
You may get obedience, but you'll never get
(12:24):
commitment.
And without commitment, any team or relationship is
on, well, shaky ground that's bound to collapse
anytime.
Now, do you really want your life like
that?
I don't think so.
(12:46):
I think you want it more on where
things are going.
I think you want things about truth.
I think those are important things to realize.
You want it to be about truth.
(13:07):
And so realize what I said about trust
fostering loyalty and force breaking it.
You might not believe this because you think
others are winning, but really all they're doing
is manipulating somebody or some group.
Then you think you can do that.
But what you're missing is the fact that
later on, those people are not followers.
(13:27):
Those people were barely even following now.
It's like they were being thrown to do
it.
But next time, they may not so easily.
And the third time, they may not even
think about doing it.
Trust, guys, requires patience.
Force rushes the results.
Trust isn't built overnight.
It's nurtured over time.
(13:47):
We've said this.
It requires consistency, listening, and real empathy.
Force, on the other hand, demands instant results,
often sacrificing quality or sustainability.
Leaders who play the long game build cultures
and relationships that last far beyond those quick
(14:09):
wins.
Number 10, every area of life that you
have, trust wins always.
Whether it's the boardroom to the living room,
trust is the cornerstone of anything meaningful.
It's not just a soft skill.
It's a power skill.
(14:30):
When you lead with trust, you open the
door to deeper influence, stronger relationships, and a
life aligned with integrity and true purpose.
And in the end, those are the wins
that really matter.
I know we covered an awful lot here.
Here's the part of the show that I
(14:51):
like.
I like the whole show, but here's the
part of the show I think that a
lot of you are going to find, let's
say, very, very valuable.
So what I like to do in this
part of the show is I basically come
up with some personal lessons or stories, one
(15:13):
for each point.
And it's my hope that by doing this,
you're going to gain appreciation for trust, knowing
how to implement trust, knowing where trust belongs,
knowing where trust naturally thrives.
(15:41):
So trust can survive, right?
But it's another thing when trust thrives.
I think a lot of people have some
trust that's surviving, but people are wondering, is
that ever going to end?
And the question to that is, yeah, probably.
Because it's like they want to do it,
(16:06):
but then when they check back, it's like,
wait a minute, this doesn't align with who
I am or why am I following this
person?
They haven't really been truthful or trusting to
me.
And I think that's a hard thing or
hard pill for a lot of people to
swallow, right?
I think that's important to know.
(16:35):
Does that make sense?
I think most people have to realize that
these lessons will help them the rest of
their life.
Trust builds lasting relationships.
Years ago, when I first started working with
(16:57):
a client on a complex IT infrastructure upgrade,
there were countless moving parts and unknowns.
Instead of pressuring them with tech jargon or
pushing decisions, I chose to build some trust
first.
I listened to their concerns.
I shared some honest assessments.
Even when it wasn't what they wanted to
hear, it gave them the space to ask
(17:19):
questions.
Slowly, the trust was built and grew.
They started replying and relaying to my input,
not just for that project, but for other
aspects of their whole tech strategy.
That was a big win.
The client is still with the J-More
(17:39):
Connection today over several decades later.
We've seen each other through transitions, challenges, and
successes.
That relationship didn't thrive because of sales tactics.
It flourished because of mutual respect and consistent
trust.
It proved to me that trust isn't just
nice to have.
It's the bedrock of longevity in both personal
(18:03):
and professional relationships.
I think sometimes we get caught in this
game of, what are the Joneses doing?
What should I be doing?
I think that's an important thing to realize.
Number two, force creates short-term compliance and
it's definitely long-term damage.
(18:26):
Early in my career, I worked for a
manager at a government company while J-More
was still a part-time business when I
graduated college.
I knew it was going to become full
-time, but I wanted to go be in
the field for a little bit and to
put some money away.
Every conversation felt like a threat.
(18:49):
Miss a deadline and you were publicly humiliated.
Initially, everyone complied, afraid of losing their jobs
or being berated, but beneath the surface, the
team spirit eroded.
People stopped sharing ideas, mistakes got hidden, and
turnover skyrocketed.
Let me share something that happened to you.
I was managing three schools for a drive
(19:18):
from one location to another location.
There were two other locations that I'd have
to drive between.
The home location where I was at had
a little bit of a school, but not
a real big one.
I was responsible for managing somewhere around 500
to 600 computers.
I was the TCS, Technical Services Coordinator, TSC,
(19:40):
I should say.
They gave me the title because they didn't
want to pay me a lot of money,
so they called me a coordinator that obviously
doesn't have a lot of skill, but I
actually had a lot of skill.
That didn't bother me so much, but what
did was one day, because sometimes they were
not always nice, and that didn't bother me
(20:01):
either.
The fact that my manager would put me
down because he didn't understand something and he
wanted me to explain in a different language
and he was rude about it.
When he was supposed to know what I
know in 10 times more, but he didn't
know a tenth of what I knew.
I remember going to one of these locations
one day.
It was very hot.
(20:23):
Normally, the trip would take about maybe 22
minutes.
Well, that day, it took an extra seven
minutes.
Not a big deal, right?
You have to sign in and sign out
on a pad, and I did.
I came back, and this lady at the
(20:45):
desk, an elder lady, she was like the
Gestapo.
She says, where were you?
I said, I just came back from the
other office.
I know, but you're seven minutes later than
the time that it normally takes you.
I checked what time you signed out.
I said, oh, you did?
Yeah, I checked with such and such, and
she said, you signed out at this time,
so that would have brought you here seven
(21:06):
minutes ago.
What happened?
I said, well, let's go back, shall we?
First of all, I had to find a
spot for my car.
That took me a little bit longer because
the lot was kind of filled, and it
was very hot outside.
I left.
That took me an extra maybe, let's say,
(21:30):
four minutes.
Then on the way back, I hadn't had
lunch, and I just stopped to get a
nice tall bottle of ice cold water.
She goes, aha, we got you.
Got me what?
I didn't take lunch.
(21:50):
The way I was ridiculed that time, I
went home, and I knew Thanksgiving was coming
up very soon.
I also knew that I only had to
be there two more weeks, and I'd be
fully vested.
To me, it wasn't about the money.
It was about the principle.
I went into the HR person's office the
next morning, knocked on the door, and I
(22:13):
said, thank you.
You're welcome.
I said, no, I want to say thank
you for helping me become a better version
of myself and helping you become a better
version of yourself.
I said, John, what are you talking about?
Well, I want to let you know that
today is going to be my very last
day.
If you quit today, you're going to miss
(22:34):
the opportunity of becoming fully vested in two
weeks.
I said, you know, the money might be
important to some people, but I'm going to
make billions more.
To me, your principles and how you treat
people, it doesn't align with who I am,
so I'm going to say goodbye and move
on.
(22:54):
That took care.
That organization today has gone from three buildings
down to one, and they've gone from, let's
say, 1,000 employees down to maybe 35.
As I said, eventually I left that job,
(23:17):
and so did some of my coworkers.
That manager's command and control, and the whole
organization's attitude was toxic, and the approach got
short-term results for me, but it left
behind a trail of burnout, of bitterness, and
broken trust, and I swore to myself that
I would never lead that way.
(23:38):
Force might get a yes today, but it
guarantees a no tomorrow.
I'm going to share another experience.
I was doing work for a client literally
today, and yes, I still learn lessons even
today.
I was trying to explain something to a
team over in India because this one company
uses their own outsourced help desk, but they
needed us to go on-site and to
(24:00):
analyze some things and possibly change a part,
and I explained to this group that this
box had no power.
I explained that everything else has power around
it.
I unplugged the power cord to it, plugged
it into a modder, and said it had
power, and was getting very frustrated with this
today, but I realized one thing about this.
(24:21):
When all this happened today, and I was
just taking it all in, I said, you
know what, John?
You can't do that anymore.
Let me tell you why.
The people on the other end of that
team's call were yelling so loud at me
and not listening to me and disrespecting me,
but as soon as that team's call ended,
(24:42):
you know what happened?
I started to feel dizzy.
That never happens to me.
I started to feel very hot.
The air conditioning wasn't working great in this
one office suite, but I started to feel
dizzy and imbalanced, and this imbalance, the heat
(25:02):
didn't help, but it mostly happened because of
this buzzing in my ears, and this was
happening because of how these clowns treated me
on the phone, and I made a promise
to myself today.
From now on, regardless of who I'm speaking
(25:24):
to, and I'm always nice to clients, but
even if I'm talking to people that are
not respectful, I'm going to politely end the
call.
If they get loud, I'm going to let
them know that you're speaking way too loud.
I need you to tone that down.
I'm going to ask you once, okay?
I'll ask you a second time, and if
I have to ask you a third time,
I'm going to terminate the call, and I
(25:48):
know you might say to me, John, you
may not get paid for that, but you
know what?
Like today, I'm getting paid for that, but
to me, being disrespected says that I don't
respect myself, so I'm worth much more than
that.
(26:09):
I know that, but I have been doing
work for this client for a long time,
and I said to myself, I'm not going
to allow this to happen anymore.
That's a really important thing.
Don't let somebody else use force to bully
you because it doesn't end well.
(26:31):
Just like I left that job, today what
I should have done when I wasn't feeling
great, I should have immediately said, you know
what?
I'm feeling dizzy right now.
I need to hang up with you.
It took me almost an hour to feel
basically normal again.
My hearing took literally over an hour and
(26:53):
a half to come back.
In an hour, I started to feel, let's
say, less dizzy, but I still didn't have
my full hearing back for like an hour
and a half, and in my report, I
wrote up how rude and how disrespectful they
were to me, so you've got to trust
people.
You've also got to realize don't use force
with you because force might appear to get
(27:16):
somewhere, but you know what's going to happen
next time that they do something like that
and they call me?
I'm going to say these words.
You know what those words are going to
be?
N-O, okay?
(27:45):
It's interesting that that happened.
I knew the router was bad when I
talked to you early in the morning.
(28:06):
I'm glad you agree on my professional opinion,
and I think sometimes people don't admit the
(28:29):
fact that they're wrong and they can't admit
that somebody else might be right.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm John Seymour, a serial
entrepreneur.
Don't ever use force.
Use trust.
You'll feel better.
You'll be healthier, but most importantly, other people
will like you more.
Have yourself a great rest of your evening.
Be well, everyone.
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