When Saying Less Speaks Louder: The Power of Purposeful Silence in Communication (S4) S22:E3

🎧 In this powerful episode, we uncover the strength behind saying less—and saying it well. Clear communication isn't about flooding people with information; it's about delivering the right message, at the right time, in the right way. Whether you're a leader managing a crisis, a parent guiding a family, or a business owner protecting relationships, the decision to not share details can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication toolbox. Join me as we break down how and why this strategy works—and how it builds trust, stability, and deeper understanding when it matters most.

🔢 Talking Points

1️⃣ No details were shared — by design. Sometimes, silence speaks volumes. Choosing not to share details isn’t about withholding—it’s about protecting. Whether it’s to safeguard privacy, ensure safety, or preserve the integrity of an ongoing process, the deliberate choice to remain discreet is a form of leadership. In a world that demands instant transparency, this approach shows wisdom, foresight, and control. It reminds your audience that not every piece of information is necessary to understand the big picture.

2️⃣ Clear, calm, and official messaging only. Chaos loves confusion. That’s why official communication needs to be clear, calm, and deliberate. No speculation. No vague reassurances. Just solid, steady messaging from authoritative sources. When messages are carefully crafted and calmly delivered, they cut through anxiety and create a sense of structure and confidence—even in uncertain moments. The tone is the message, and staying composed reassures those who are listening.

3️⃣ Trusted messengers. No rumors. In challenging times, who delivers the message matters as much as what is said. By relying on trusted, familiar messengers—those who have built credibility over time—you avoid the rumor mill and keep your audience grounded in truth. These messengers carry not only information but reassurance. The presence of trust allows the message to land fully and prevents outside noise from drowning it out.

4️⃣ Communication was intentional, not reactive. Good communication isn’t just a reaction—it’s a plan. When you wait for the right time to speak, you send a message of control and stability. Reacting emotionally or prematurely can erode credibility, but intentional communication builds it. Each word is chosen with purpose. This approach doesn't just deliver information—it delivers confidence.

5️⃣ We informed without oversharing. There’s a fine line between being transparent and being excessive. Oversharing can create confusion, raise more questions than it answers, or even cause harm. By focusing only on what people need to know, you keep the message digestible and relevant. It also shows respect—for those impacted and those receiving the message. Thoughtful boundaries in communication demonstrate maturity and care.

6️⃣ Privacy respected. Clarity maintained. Respecting privacy doesn’t mean leaving people in the dark. You can maintain clarity while honoring confidentiality. It’s about what can be said in a way that acknowledges the situation, without exposing sensitive or personal details. That balance communicates professionalism and empathy—especially in emotionally charged moments. It shows your audience that you value both truth and human dignity.

7️⃣ Less said. More trusted. When people know you're not sharing just to fill space, they lean in more closely to what is said. Saying less can actually increase credibility—because it shows you're being intentional, not performative. Trust grows when people believe you're not hiding the truth, but choosing your words for the greater good. Restraint, when used wisely, is a communication superpower.

📢 Incorporating these principles consistently can create a culture where trust, clarity, and discretion empower every level of leadership and connection.

✨ Connect & Elevate 🌐 Website: John C. Morley’s Websit

Episode Transcript

(00:19):
Hey guys, good evening, it is John C.
Morley here, Sir Entrepreneur.
Happy belated Memorial Day for those of you,
hopefully, that have taken the time to give
in a moment or two for those many
men and women who have sacrificed their lives
for us so that we could enjoy.

(00:40):
But I want to let you know that
Memorial Day is not about being sad, it's
about being grateful for being here and for
all those men and women did for us.
So let's kick off the show.
We have a really, really great show for
you guys here tonight.
So hopefully you guys will enjoy it.

(01:00):
Our master topic of the week is building
unity, guys.
Yes, building unity through clarity, communication, and compassion.
And the granular topic is when saying less
speaks louder, the power of purposeful silence in
communication.
So we're on Series 4 Show 22, episode

(01:21):
number three.
I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day
with friends and family, maybe at a barbecue
or whatnot, maybe went to a parade, or
maybe just stayed home and just chilled.
All right.
Well, I do want to invite you to
go to believemeachieved.com for, of course, more
of my amazing, inspiring creations, which you can
incidentally do 24 hours a day, seven days

(01:45):
a week.
So why not check that out?
After the show, you can do it 24
hours a day.
So definitely love you to check that out,
guys.
And I know that you will definitely be
glad that you did.
If you're thirsty or maybe you're hungry, head

(02:05):
on over to the kitchen and get something
delicious, maybe hot, maybe cold, maybe a snack,
maybe some fruit, maybe healthy, maybe sweet or
tart or not, totally up to you.
And then head on back to the show.
All right, everyone.
Well, welcome.
My name is John Seymour Lee, serial entrepreneur.
I'm not only a podcast host, but I'm
also a podcast coach, engineer, a video production

(02:27):
specialist.
And, of course, you know me as a
serial entrepreneur, and I'm also a graduate student
now pursuing my master's in computer science.
So I think you'll realize that life is
better when we want to learn, okay?

(02:51):
It's not about learning and then being done,
but I think it's important to understand how
to learn and making those choices to learn,
everyone.
So welcome.
I'm so glad that you're here.
As we said, tonight's topic is when saying
less speaks louder, the power of purposeful silence

(03:14):
in communication.
You know, when we don't say anything, sometimes
people think something's wrong, but that might actually
be an indication of something else.
All right.
So in this powerful episode, I'm going to
uncover the strength behind saying less and saying
it well.

(03:34):
Clear communication isn't about flooding people with information.
It's about delivering the right message at the
right time in the right way.
Whether you're a leader, managing a crisis, a
parent, guiding a family, or a business owner
protecting relationships, the decision to not share details
can be one of the most powerful tools

(03:54):
in your communication toolbox.
Join me as I break down how and
why this strategy works and how it can
build deeper trust and stability and an understanding
when it matters most.
All right, guys, let's just dive right in
because I can't wait to get into the
show's meat.
No details were shared by the design.

(04:15):
That's the first thing.
Sometimes silence speaks volumes.
Choosing not to share details isn't about withholding.
It's about protecting.
Whether it's to safeguard privacy, ensure safety, or
pressure the integrity of an ongoing process, the
deliberate choice to remain discreet is a form
of leadership in a world that demands instant

(04:37):
transparency.
This approach shows wisdom, foresight, and control.
It reminds your audience that not every piece
of information is necessary to understand the big
picture.
All right, so number two is clear, calm,
and official messaging only.
Chaos loves confusion.
That's why official communication needs to be clear,

(04:59):
calm, and deliberate.
No speculation, no vague reassurances, just solid, steady
messaging from authoritative sources.
When messages are carefully crafted and calmly delivered,
they cut through the chase of the anxiety
and create a sense of structure and true
confidence.
Even in uncertain moments, the tone is the

(05:21):
message, and staying composed reassures those who are
listening.
Number three, guys, trusting, yes, trusting messengers.
No rumors in challenging times.
Who delivers the message matters as much as
what is said.
By relying on trusted, familiar messengers, those who

(05:41):
have built credibility over time with us, well,
you avoid the rumor mill and keep your
audience grounded in truth.
These messengers carry not only information, but reassurance.
The presence of trust allows the message to
land fully and prevents outside noise from drowning
it out.
That's also why sometimes somebody who's a messenger

(06:03):
that's very trusted and regarded will be very
careful about wanting to share a message that
they think is unclear or that might leave
somebody in a tobacco or confuse someone.
Number four, communication was intentional, not reactive.
See, good communication isn't just a reaction.

(06:24):
It's a plan.
When you wait for the right time to
speak, you send a message of control and
stability.
Reacting emotionally or prematurely can erode credibility.
But intentional communication builds it.
Each word is chosen with purpose.
This approach doesn't just deliver information.
It delivers confidence.

(06:44):
Number five, we informed without oversharing.
There's a fine line between being transparent and
being excessive.
Oversharing can create confusion, raise more questions than
answers, or even cause harm by focusing only
on what people need to know.
You keep the message digestible and relevant.

(07:06):
It also shows respect for those impacted and
those receiving the message.
Thoughtful boundaries in communication demonstrates mature.
And a high level of care.
But I think so many people out there
want to just get something off their chest,
but they don't often think about the fact
that maybe they didn't say it properly or

(07:30):
use the right channels to deliver.
I think that's a very, very important thing,
guys, a very, very important thing.
All right.
So number six, privacy respected, clarity maintained.
Respecting privacy doesn't mean leaving people in the
dark.
You can maintain clarity while honoring confidentiality.

(07:50):
It's about what can be said in a
way that acknowledges the situation without exposing sensitive
or personal details.
That balance communicates professionalism and empathy, especially in
emotionally charged moments.
It shows your audience that you value both
truth and human dignity.
Number seven, guys, less said is more trusted.

(08:13):
When people know you're not sharing just to
fill space, they lean in more closely to
what is being said.
Saying less can actually increase credibility because it
shows you're being intentional, not performative.
Trust grows when people believe you're not hiding
the truth, but choosing your words for the

(08:34):
greater good.
Restraint, when used wisely, is a communication superpower.
And I think a lot of people out
there don't realize that there is power in
restraining.
There is power in, you know, not saying
something.
But so many people I know just feel
like they're like at ends.

(08:56):
Like they've got to solve everything tomorrow and
they don't necessarily think about the consequences.
They don't think about how they should take
a breath before they speak.
You know, when we speak, it's important to
choose the words carefully, even though I said
to you, seven percent of the meaning is
only the words.

(09:17):
I think those that do that develop a
greater level of respect for many people, for
many, many people.
And I know that you're probably saying to
me, John, like, I don't quite get this.
I know you don't get it, but sometimes.
You get things as you move along, and

(09:38):
I feel the ones that are trying to,
let's say, jam a story down your throat
are the ones that really we can't trust,
the ones that probably have had a bad
reputation in the past, the ones that maybe
are doing something for a false reason, like
not their true core reason.
They're doing it because they're being sold out.

(10:00):
Now, I don't mean by money.
It could be anything, not just money.
It could be any type of thing.
It could be doing something a favor for
a friend, and it could be doing something
that goes against their moral compass because they're
trying to prove themselves to somebody else.
That's a really bad thing, guys, but it
happens time in and time out.
I want to be truthful and let you

(10:21):
know that.
Well, guys, this is the part of the
show that I really enjoy, and you know
what I do in this part of the
show, don't you?
Well, if you've been watching for a while,
you definitely know.
So I'm going to give you basically a
personal story of mine for each point, and

(10:43):
the reason I'm doing this is because I'm
hoping that this will give you a tangible
concept that you can drive home, and thus
you can remember this and choose to apply
it in your own life, which is what
I'm hoping you'll do.

(11:05):
And then you're going to own this concept.
It's not going to be like John just
talked about it on his show.
He actually gave examples and personal stories in
his own life on how this affected him
and those around him.
So I think that's an important thing, guys,

(11:25):
and I think for whatever reason, many people
don't realize that a story is often the
key to helping someone understand a personal story.
So no details were shared by design.
There was a time in my business when
a key client was going through a serious
legal situation.
While we were still providing them services, I

(11:46):
chose not to discuss the matter internally beyond
what was necessary for day-to-day operations.
Staff were curious, vendors asked questions, but I
kept things discreet to protect their clients' privacy
and to prevent gossip or misinformation from disrupting
operations.
That conscious silence showed my team that leadership
means knowing when to basically be quiet.

(12:08):
Number two, clear, calm and official messaging only.
During a power outage that affected multiple clients,
we were flooded with questions.
Rather than feeding the frenzy with scattered replies,
I prepared one clear factual announcement that was
sent out through an official communication channel.
We didn't speculate.
We simply explained what was known and what

(12:30):
steps were being taken.
The response was overwhelmingly positive.
Clients appreciated the calm tone and it minimized
panic.
It taught me that clarity and composure in
messaging is everything during a crisis.
Now, it wasn't our data centers that went
down.
It was actually things like Optimum, Altice and
Time Warner.
And we were just trying to give them
information about whether Internet would be back up.

(12:52):
But of course, because we're their technology provider,
suddenly we're responsible for them going down.
Well, not really, but we do take responsibility
and ownership when that happens and make sure
people are aware of the truth.
Number three, trusted messengers.
No rumors when a partner company suddenly shut
down.
Many of our clients were impacted and understandably

(13:14):
worried.
I chose to deliver the message personally in
a video message and in a written form
because I had already built a foundation of
trust with my clients through previous consistent and
authentic communication.
They received the news with understanding rather than,
I should say, you know, hesitation.
And any frustration and no rumors spiraled because

(13:37):
the message came from someone they trusted, their
vendor.
But I think a lot of times also
being a person in the media for a
long time, I always say, you know, people
have said, you know, if it leads, it
bleeds.
I don't like to write that.
I like to write the truth, the truth
that I believe will set you free.
The truth that might not be what people
want to hear, but it is the truth.

(13:58):
Number four, communication was intentional.
It's not reactive.
In a public speaking engagement years ago, I
was once asked a very inflammatory and off
topic question during a Q&A.
I paused, I took a breath and said,
I think we can have a great conversation
about that at another time.
I didn't react emotionally or engage defensively.

(14:18):
That moment stuck with many attendees and actually
earned me more respect.
Being intentional instead of reactive keeps your reputation
and your integrity intact.
I think a lot of people want to
push your buttons.
I had a person literally just today on
one of the channels, which I have lots

(14:39):
of different social media channels, and I was
posting some of the current event that we're
holding tomorrow.
And I got a comment from somebody.
Our ad was really pushing out to thousands
of people.
And instead of saying something nice.
He came out and said, well, I would
definitely no one would attend an event like

(15:00):
that the way you marketed it.
So I responded back to a nice way.
I said, well, that's a very interesting statement
you made.
And obviously you have a reason for saying
it.
I'm curious, would you please share it with
me?
Of course, this guy was a total airhead,
but I gave him the opportunity to to
basically vet.
He didn't care about anything.

(15:20):
All he cared about was making himself better
than everyone else.
And that's not a leader.
That's just toxic behavior.
Number five, we informed without oversharing.
We're rolling out a new tech solution that
had a few bugs in it in the
early deployment.
I had to update our users instead of
diving into every technical hiccup.

(15:42):
I summarized the main issue, shared what we
were doing to resolve it and gave a
realistic time frame.
Clients didn't need the messy behind the scenes
play by play.
They need the assurance and results.
And they got both.
The experience taught me that relevance is more
powerful than raw transparency.
Number six, guys, privacy respected, clarity maintained.

(16:05):
I don't know why so many people feel
that they don't want to act with clarity.
They don't want to act with respect.
This is something that maybe is, I don't
know, beneath them.
One of my employees went through a serious
personal health matter, and while the absence was
noticeable, I shared only what the individual was
comfortable with and framed it with respect and
optimism.

(16:26):
The team was updated enough to adjust workloads
and support the colleague, but no personal medical
details were disclosed.
It was a delicate balance, but it reinforced
our values of dignity, respect and professionalism.
When the person came back to full time
working.
He felt comfortable sharing some of the things,

(16:46):
and one of the things he came to
me personally and said, John, you know, I
know you didn't have to keep all that
stuff confidential, but I really appreciate that you
did.
And I feel much more confident sharing with
you and with the people here I work
with because I feel that we're a family

(17:06):
and I could see they were concerned to
be with me and not trying to ask
questions.
Many of them said, you know, hey, I
hope everything's going well.
You don't have to share anything you don't
want.
I just want to make sure you're OK
if you need anything.
I'm here.
And that was really great that they didn't
probe, they just respected me.

(17:28):
Number seven, guys, less said, more trusted.
After a failed joint venture with one of
our clients, I entered with another client.
I had the opportunity to go public and
clear the air for them in our public
media relations company with all the gritty details.
Instead, I issued a brief dignified statement.

(17:49):
The gritty details is what people wanted, but
I issued this dignified statement thanking everyone involved,
owning their part and signaling a focus on
future.
I didn't need to defend or to actually
explain.
And I think that's important.
And so.
The fact that I issued this brief dignified
statement, thanking everyone and owning their parts, signal

(18:12):
the focus on the future, I didn't need
to defend or explain what that company was
doing.
The simple statement earned me more respect and
trust from my peers than I ever could
have imagined.
And then any long winded explanation or any
false PR release.
Over time, people saw that I led with

(18:32):
accountability and grace.
Even when things didn't go perfectly, they knew
that John was going to do what he
had to do to get their backs.
And I think that's an important thing.
So these experiences have taught me that sometimes
the most powerful forms of communication are restraint.
Purposeful silence, when paired with wisdom and intention,

(18:53):
can deepen trust, maintain respect and guide others
more efficiently and effectively than a thousand words
ever could.
Maybe you've noticed a medical situation.
Maybe paramedics were there and stuff.
And maybe the person wasn't related to your
family and you wanted to know something, but
they wouldn't share anything.
And they did that out of HIPAA rules,
right?
Health Insurance Portability Accountability Act, but also out

(19:14):
of respect.
And I think when people understand what respect
is, which I want to go into a
moment and share this, basically Miriam Webster, and
it's the word respect.
And I want to read her definition of
respect.
And I hope you'll come to appreciate this.
Respect is a noun, a relation or reference

(19:34):
to a particular thing or situation, an act
of giving particular attention, high or special regard,
the quality or state of being esteemed, the
expression of high or special regard or deference.
The verb of respect, to consider worthy of
high regard, like esteem, to refrain from interfering
with, to have reference to concern.

(19:58):
And I think a lot of people out
there, you know, say they care about others,
but then when push comes to shove, they're
into this gossiping.
And I know whether you're a grammar school,
high school, or you're older or working, I
know that there is the temptation to want
to be able to share details, but the

(20:23):
details are not always the right details.
And then when you flood people with this
and then they're wrong, you know what happens,
people get pissed off.
Why?
Because you're not only giving them the wrong
information other than they're sharing it and they
don't think they're gossiping.
They think they're giving the truth, but really
you're just giving them a back jab story

(20:47):
and they don't know that it's a back
jab story, right?
I'd much rather know nothing than have a
half-backed story.
I mean, that's just my thing that I
want to share with you, because I think
so many people in our world don't get
the fact that stories need to come out

(21:10):
and they need to be truthful, guys.
They have to be truthful.
You might say, John, I don't need to
be truthful.
Well, I'm here to tell you that you
absolutely do need it to be truthful.
Maybe you think that getting the story out
is going to make you the leader in
the beginning because, you know, you know it
before anyone else, right?

(21:30):
And I remember being in grammar school and
I remember, you know, something happened on the
playground, right?
And the first instinct was, as soon as
we knew some details, right, people that never
talked to you would come around, well, John,
did you hear what happened?
Yeah.

(21:51):
Oh, great, you know, we're pals, you know,
you could tell me.
And it was kind of like this rite
of passage thing.
And even if you didn't know the story
correctly, you shared it, you know what they
did, they went and blabbed to this person
and if the story was wrong, well, you
know, that's a morally sinner, that's what Johnson
said.
And so after that happened once or twice,

(22:12):
I said, you know what, I'm better off
to not say anything, and they said, well,
John, you know what happened?
I said, I do.
However, I'm not 100% sure about all
the details, so I'd just rather not share
them this time.
Oh, well, you could tell me, well, no,

(22:33):
I can't, because you remember what happened the
last few times I told you something that
I thought was truthful, then I found out
that it was wrong and then you threw
it back in my face, so I'm just
not going to share anything, all right?
You can find it on your own.
And that made the person regress, thinking about

(22:55):
how rude they had been.
Now, I wasn't looking for an apology, but
I knew that I wasn't going to be
treated in that manner before.
Now, maybe they didn't do it intentionally, maybe
they were just backlashing because of what happened,
and because of that, maybe that's the reason,

(23:16):
maybe, right?
Maybe that's the reason, but then maybe it
isn't.
And I think if we understand what the
true reason is, okay, the reason at, I

(23:36):
think it comes down to your integrity.
It comes down to what you stand for
in life, and everybody wants to get on
the stage, right?
But being on the stage sometimes is overrated.
When you get on the stage because of
the value you bring and other people put

(23:58):
you on the stage, that's one thing.
But when you choose to put yourself on
that stage, on that pedestal, well, it might
go well and it might not.
What other people choose to put you on
the stage, it's usually because of the respect,
the valor, and the integrity for which you
stand for.

(24:20):
I mean, thinking about that situation that I
had in grammar school, didn't have a clue
that that was going to be a problem,
right?
I didn't have a clue.
And so when we want to communicate, we
have that impulse, okay?

(24:41):
And that impulse is about something I'm going
to say really, really important.
Something I feel that maybe could change who
you are as a person, not because of
something you said, but maybe because of something

(25:02):
they interpreted, because we all know that life's
about interpretations, right?
And so I know that sometimes interpretations are
wrong.
Does that make sense?

(25:26):
And so if we know that interpretations can
sometimes be wrong, we want to make sure
that we don't have those bad interpretations, right?
It's one thing if an interpretation happens and
you get it, right?
It's another thing to be able to admit
that you're saying something wrong.

(25:48):
I mean, in this case, when I had
given the story, first of all, I should
never have given the story in the first
place because I never validated the truth.
How do I, how do I validate the
truth?
Maybe I go up to the people and
say, you know, what happened, right?
I heard something, what happened to Ryan?
Oh, he got into a fist fight.

(26:10):
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
Chris came after me, hit him.
He slugged him and then he called him
a name and now he's off to the
hospital.
Instead of, well, you know, Chris just, Ryan
just picked on this kid.
No, Chris actually picked on the kid and
called him fat or something, and then he
retaliated.
But you see how it's almost like the
game of telephone.

(26:31):
You probably all played the game of telephone.
If the message came out right every time,
then the game of telephone would be like
for not right.
But that's the whole point is that most
people don't listen.
And this is why the game of telephone
is amazing.
I remember the first time I played and
somebody started something way at the end and

(26:52):
I was like way at the other end.
And when it came out to me, it
was like, um, what are we having for
lunch?
But that wasn't the original message.
The original message was something like, um, what
time is early dismissal on Friday, and that
got really changed into what, so it was
still time, but the ending got changed another

(27:13):
time.
We said something about, where do you want
to go for your, for your vacation this
summer?
That was what we asked.
What came out was what books are you
going to read this summer?
Like totally different.
So I hope that this makes some sense
to you.
And I hope that these personal stories of

(27:35):
mine will teach you the importance of knowing
that you don't just blab.
You don't just share a story because you
want to be a hero.
You're going to be not a hero.
If you do that, you're going to be
disregarded.
You're going to be disrespected.
So who needs that?
Why gossip?

(27:57):
Validate your stories, make sure they're truthful before
you share them.
And if somebody pressured you to share them
and say, Hey, I don't have all the
facts, I don't gossip, and I need to
make sure what I'm saying is truthful before
I share it, and I need to talk
to the person to find this out first.
People will respect you.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm John C.
Morley, serial entrepreneur.

(28:17):
Do check out believemeachieve.com for more of
my amazing, inspiring creations.
I'll catch you real soon, everyone.