Why Do Fathers Leave but Mothers Rarely Do? | Fatherlessness, Therapy & What I’ve Learned

Fatherlessness is one of the biggest issues I see in therapy, in schools, and in society as a whole. I’ve met countless men who carry the scars of growing up without their fathers — and many who are now struggling with the idea of being absent from their own children’s lives.

At the same time, I’ve been a sperm donor, and I’ve seen how some families — especially lesbian couples — make a deliberate choice to raise children without a father figure. That’s very different from abandonment, but it still raises the same fundamental question: what does it mean for a child to grow up without a dad?

What strikes me most is the imbalance. The statistics on fatherlessness are everywhere — yet when I searched for why mothers abandon their children, I found almost nothing. It’s so rare it barely appears in the research. So why do men leave, but women almost never do?

In this video, I share my personal experiences, the stories I’ve seen in therapy, the patterns I witnessed working in schools, and the limited research that exists. This isn’t about blame — it’s about starting a conversation we need to have.

If this resonates with you, please share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s talk openly about fatherlessness, responsibility, and what we can do to break the cycle.

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