I was going to talk about corneas. Just a nice, focused anatomy deep dive. But then I found out UnitedHealthcare’s stock is down 20% and—what can I say? I got distracted by joy. So before we dig into layers of corneal meat (yes, I said that), we take a little detour into vertical integration, kickbacks, AI claim denials, and how a multi-billion-dollar behemoth is finally catching a whiff of accountability. Then it’s back to business: corneal nerves, LASIK, ulcers, transplant techniques, the great “your corneas are too thin” letdown, and why you should stop sleeping in your contact lenses. Also, I may have created a dating strategy that involves casually name-dropping Descemet’s membrane. You're welcome.
Takeaways:
UnitedHealth Took a Hit—And I Took a Victory Lap.
Their CEO is stepping down. Their stock is down. Their karma might finally be catching up. I am… not sad.
Your Cornea Is Clear for a Reason—Until It’s Not.
It doesn’t have blood vessels. It doesn’t heal like skin. And when it gets cloudy, things get gross, fast.
LASIK Isn’t for Everyone. Here’s Why Your Eye Got Rejected.
If you’ve ever been told your cornea is “too thin,” I’m here to explain why—and yes, it’s as mathy as it sounds.
Yes, I Called It ‘Corneal Meat.’ No, I’m Not Sorry.
It’s the stroma. It’s thick. It’s important. And now you’re never going to un-hear that phrase.
Please Stop Sleeping in Your Contacts. I’m Begging.
Because you like seeing. And because I don’t want to have to dig bacteria out of your eyeball.
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A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit http://www.EyelidCheck.com for more information.
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