120. Milam Miller - How to Enhance Your “Rizz” Factor

In this episode I sit down with Milam Miller — author of The Charisma Craft and founder of Be Confident and Kind — to dismantle the myth that charisma is innate and to show how it can actually be a powerful, learnable leadership skill. We unpack what charisma really is (spoiler: not glittery and extroverted, but human connection), why it matters for sales and leadership, and how to build what Milam calls your “Riz factor” — your likability, trustworthiness and presence that turns connection into commercial advantage. Expect a practical, no‑fluff framework, real talk about what works, and a challenge to show up with intent.

If you lead a sales team (or want to), manage reps, or sell yourself as a leader — this conversation is a must-listen.

How to craft charisma that helps you lead and sell more

Here’s how you can start turning charisma into a reliable tool — not a luck-of-the-draw trait.

• Think of charisma as a craft, not a birthright. It isn’t about being loud or larger‑than‑life; it’s about human connection that builds likability, competence and trust.
• Lead with authenticity. Use your own voice, stories and values. Don’t mimic scripts or try to be someone else. Your genuine self resonates.
• Be bold enough to ask. Confidence matters: call the meeting, make the call, take the risk. But boldness without humanity falls flat.
• Stay curious about people. Ask questions, listen, learn what drives your colleagues or clients — and respond to that. That curiosity underpins strong, lasting relationships.
• Combine confidence with kindness. Confidence shows you know your stuff. Kindness shows you’re human. Together they create what Milam calls the “like‑know‑trust” platform.
• Lead with service, not quota. Shift your mindset: selling isn’t about hitting numbers, it’s about helping people solve problems. When you show up for them, results follow.

Timeline of key moments

• [00:02:04] — “That’s a lie.” Milam debunks the myth that charisma is innate — you can learn it.
• [00:03:11] — Charisma framed as “the art of human connection” rooted in empathy, warmth and clarity.
• [00:05:39] — The “L‑K‑T” test: Likable, Knowledgeable, Trustable — the essence of likability in professional relationships.
• [00:09:32] — The two core engines of charisma: intention (why are you showing up) and attention (who are you listening to).
• [00:16:14] — The ABCs of charisma: Authentic, Bold, Curious — a simple, actionable framework.
• [00:18:13] — Distinction between courage and bravery: courage is acting despite fear; bravery is absence of fear. Both matter.
• [00:23:03] — The big takeaway: “Be confident and kind and develop your charisma craft.”

Links & resources

• The Charisma Craft by Milam Miller — the book that underpins the frameworks we discussed.
• Be Confident and Kind (Milam’s organisation) — for more tools, training and sales‑enablement resources.
• If you want to test this on your team: grab the Parallel Team Playbook from Practical Leadership Academy

If you’re ready to stop leaning on charm and start building connection as a repeatable skill, this episode gives you a clear path. Try being intentional, curious and human in your next interaction — the results might surprise you.

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