Deeply Loved: Why Empathy Is Oxygen for the Soul (featuring Bill & Kristi Gaultiere)

What if the missing piece in your leadership is not more strategy but more empathy? 

Bill and Kristi Gaultiere say empathy is oxygen for the soul, and many leaders are gasping without realizing it. 

They join Matt to unpack how Jesus models secure attachment with the Father and how we can receive and reflect that love in daily life.

Bill and Kristi name the empathy deserts many of us grew up in, why ministry culture often rewards self-neglect, and how receiving care is not a luxury. It is discipleship. 

The conversation lands with the Four A’s of Empathy. Ask. Attune. Acknowledge. Affirm. Practice these, and watch connection and courage return.

If you are ending a role, beginning again, or preparing for a hard meeting, this episode offers biblical wisdom and field-tested tools to do hard things with Jesus’ easy yoke.

Key Takeaways

• Empathy is not sentimentality. It is the way love becomes believable and actionable. “We love because He first loved us.”
• Many leaders grew up in empathy deserts. Naming this breaks shame and opens us to care.
• Jesus models secure attachment with the Father. Presence before performance. Prayer before platform.
• The Four A’s of Empathy help in any conversation. Ask. Attune. Acknowledge significance. Affirm strengths.
• Receiving empathy enlarges capacity for compassion at home and work.
• Empathy transforms hard transitions. It dignifies layoffs, fuels grief work, and softens the ground for forgiveness.
• Leaders need safe people and slow practices that rebuild attachment to God and others.

Chapter Markers

• 00:00 Welcome and name pronunciation fun
• 01:38 What is Soul Shepherding and the easy yoke of Jesus
• 04:10 Release day for Deeply Loved and why empathy matters
• 04:43 Empathy deserts and early stories that shape leaders
• 07:45 Why Christian leaders struggle to receive love
• 11:06 Empathy is oxygen for the soul
• 14:48 “Is empathy soft?” Gender, strength, and honesty
• 20:38 Attachment, secure bonds, and practical tools
• 26:30 Theology plus psychology in Deeply Loved
• 27:03 The Four A’s of Empathy explained
• 38:22 Empathy in layoffs, burnout, and hard meetings
• 43:53 Where to find the book and Soul Shepherding retreats
• 45:08 Close and gratitude

Explore More Resources:

Dive deeper into the themes of this episode by visiting soulshepherding.org/deeplylovedbook for Bill and Kristi Gaultier’s Deeply Loved, and find confidential guidance and support for ministry transitions at ministrytransitions.com.