May 10, 2024 • 28 mins
In this engaging episode of Listen to the Heartbeat with Aaron G., Aaron welcomes Angel V., a former U.S. Marine and a social work undergraduate at Cal State L.A. From his decision to enter the social work field, drawn from the struggles of his fellow Marines, to his process of transitioning into civilian life, this conversation provides an intimate look into Angel's life journey.
Angel highlights the trials veterans face after their service, bringing light to experiences often misunderstood by civilians. His touching recount of the loss of comradeship after leaving the Marines, the role of his support network, and how he navigated his transitional period, are all reminders of the resilience of our ex-military personnel.
Explaining his crucial role as a radio technician in the Marine Corps, Angel sheds light on how his responsibility towards maintaining communication lines potentially saved lives during field operations. The episode deeply resonates with the significance of each service member's role, regardless of their job title.
Engage in this inspiring conversation that bridges the gap between military service and post-service life, highlighting the importance of community support and perseverance in face of adversity. Tune in and explore the world of these brave individuals through their experiences in this exceptional episode of Listen to the Heartbeat.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Music.
(00:05):
Welcome to another exciting episode of Listen to the Heartbeat with Aaron G.
Today's special guest is Angel V., a Marine Corps veteran and a scholar.
Angel was in the undergraduate program at Cal State L.A. in the field of social work.
He is also very active with Student Veterans of America, especially here at
(00:30):
Mount San Antonio Community College.
Welcome, Angel, to Listen to the Heartbeat.
Hey, Aaron. Thanks for having me, man. You're welcome. Tell us,
what drove you to the field of social work?
Well, definitely the biggest factor that drove me was seeing my fellow brothers
I served with struggling in life and them not having proper guidance on how
(00:55):
to get out of any rut they're in.
And I just felt like it was my call in seeing them suffer.
And not seeing enough veterans helping out veterans in this field because civilians
really don't understand the
trials and tribulations we go through in life after we leave the service.
So tell us about, did you, so as a Marine, you had some experience.
(01:21):
Tell us about some of those experiences that continue to motivate you to want
to serve the veteran community. Motivating, motivating experiences.
(01:59):
And it is pretty much trying to
get them to buy into these resources that they may be hesitant to go to.
Tell us about transitioning from the Marine Corps into civilian life. How was that on you?
It was tough, you know? I mean, I was in for six years, and you spend every
(02:22):
day with the same group of guys for two years minimum, you know,
doing everything with them.
Eating, going to work, going out to have fun, living with them in the same building.
And it's tough because you feel like you lose a
piece of yourself when you get out you feel like
(02:43):
you have no one to talk to no one to turn to because all your friends you
know split up go different ways east coast
northwest and you lose that foundation of support from your brothers and that's
definitely the biggest thing i've i had when i got out because it's the classic
classic veteran saying that civilians don't understand how it is.
(03:06):
That's pretty much how it was.
So I found it difficult, but coming to school definitely helped me out a lot,
hanging out with other veterans.
And I came to Mt. SAC when I started and meeting other veterans in the VRC definitely
helped because we all had the same goals, same plans.
We wanted to reconnect and we helped each other transition into civilian life.
(03:28):
So I bear witness that that statement to one degree is so true because when
I moved to Pomona, I'm from LA, but I was released.
I used to live in Northern California and I didn't know that practically everywhere I go, somebody,
(03:51):
Department of Defense, somebody notified these people that, hey, this guy here.
And I didn't know that. And one day, I was looking into my rearview mirror.
I was dropping my daughter off. She was in elementary school.
And I see a detail, like two squads of police cars and motorcycles.
(04:14):
Right? And I'm like, okay, they still, they following me. And I know they following
me. I ain't paranoid. I ain't tripping.
When I got to my daughter's school and she got out, Then the police motorcycle
approached me, and he was nervous.
I'm like, whoa, I'm a black man. You know, that syndrome, right? Yeah, yeah.
I said, excuse me, sir, why are you nervous? I said, would you like my ID and my registration?
(04:39):
And he looked at me wide-eyed.
So my automatic expression was, this dude, I got a squad of people following
me, and they loaded. But he wasn't.
He said, can you follow me to the DMV? I say, for what?
He said, we've been following you for two miles. And the reason is so many of
us, we never experienced.
(05:01):
Your license plate don't show up in the system. I said, oh, I get that every now and then.
Why didn't it show up? Because I got a special set of skills.
And sometimes I believe they just want to keep these people away from me.
And that's all I said to him.
I say, so if it didn't show up, somebody trying to tell you something.
Right. Because I don't have the power to do that. So I understand.
(05:23):
And then I remember I had blocked out an experience I had in 1983 in Lebanon.
I was part of a group of people.
I was in the army.
And they sent us from Gießen, Germany.
I was part of a detachment. And they said they had two targets who happened to be in Lebanon.
(05:48):
And one target was the Marine Corps barracks. The other target was the French embassy.
And they was planning to do it simultaneously. We was on scene.
And I never shall forget request permission to engage, request permission to
engage. And they said abort, abort, abort.
And even as I'm talking to you right now, I still feel like I should have popped that head.
(06:09):
Because I watched so many people die. I identify with hanging out with my brother
Marines through days prior, and then 200 of them is just gone.
Like that, I still kind of feel it. It took me a while to, actually, it took 30 years.
(06:30):
I had buried that, buried it deep, deep, deep, deep down.
But several years ago, I told my wife and daughter, I said, Y'all need to go
because something going on and I don't know what it was. I was having an episode.
Yeah. And then God revealed it to me. It's time to start healing.
So thank you for considering the field of social work.
(06:55):
Because I remember last year at the beginning of last year, the home we had,
it became an environmental hazard.
And I was talking to you and you would say, are you interested?
Do you know about VPN? pen. I was like, yeah. And then you gave me a resource.
I reached out to that resource and they were about to get us in a new complex,
(07:16):
but I'm a hundred percent veteran.
And that particular complex was specifically designed for veterans that we go find.
Yeah. Right. And shortly afterwards, a brother told me, Hey,
you need to come to this man's meeting.
Don't miss it. And we're still staying in hotels, right? And I didn't miss it.
(07:39):
And it was a resort community.
And when I walked in the door, I just said, God, come on, man.
The way you work in my life, uh.
Are you showing me where you're about to bring me? Three months later, been there ever since.
Nice, dude. That's awesome. I love to hear that. And where's that at?
(07:59):
It's in Rancho Cucamonga. Oh, that's close to me. It's called Homecoming at
Terra Vista. I know exactly where that's at. I used to live near there.
And so the beauty is the spark started when I seen you in the vet center.
And you said, here go my details.
Hit me up. It was like you was like you was like a candle. You just lit up.
(08:20):
Right. This is what I like doing.
And you gave me the resource and it was all about the footwork.
Yes. Sometimes. Sorry for cutting you off. Go ahead. Sometimes that's all we
need. We just need someone to plant the seed in your head.
Give you the idea because I don't even know that's something you ever thought
of before that. Looking for housing resources.
(08:41):
So if I did that, I really appreciate it that you followed up on it.
No, thank you. Yes, I used to have.
So the challenge was me being married and have a dependent because I have a
list because I still volunteer at Patriotic Hall LA and reach out to veterans
(09:04):
because Patriotic Hall has the,
well, we have the largest veteran housing across the country.
And I love talking to vets on the phone.
And man, it's counselors, different states.
They call me, Aaron, got a vet, got a vet.
(09:25):
And we don't know how, you know, to communicate with them.
And I enjoy, I enjoy that as well.
I just do it, volunteer work. It's almost like my own, me giving back to my comrades.
And I like, there's an old, I'll go visit him a lot.
(09:45):
There's an old veteran, old Marine Corps veteran up at Loma Linda.
And I like going to visit him, knock on his door.
I say, what's up, soldier? He said, you ain't got to tell me you army.
I'm a Marine. And I say, come on, Mr. So-and-so, let's go for a stroll around the facility, right?
(10:06):
And so I identify with the camaraderie.
Back to transitioning from being a Marine for six years, losing the camaraderie.
Tell us about those challenges and
how you overcame them okay well like I previously said the other veteran students
(10:26):
that was huge for me because you feel that camaraderie again it's not the same
but because I mean y'all aren't in but you still feel it and also my family
and And my friends definitely,
I was lucky enough to have understanding support around me when it came to my family and friends.
(10:49):
Because they knew it was a difficult time for me. I would often lock myself in my room.
At first, they didn't understand why I was being so distant.
But they gave me my space. and then after that they would try to understand
why i am this way and the things i went through,
(11:13):
so the those are the two main things that helped me transition and just finding
hobbies hobbies i love to do i never golfed until i got out didn't think i would
like it but that's something i do now like every other week just to get outdoors
and have a good time with the boys you know,
(11:34):
So what was your MOS?
I was a 2841, a radio technician. So I would repair radios and amplifiers for the radios.
Just the whole radio system itself, I would maintain it, repair it if it needed fixing.
So tell us about the responsibility you felt.
(11:54):
You know you're preparing the radio for those that are getting ready to go out.
How did that cross your mind, even if it crossed your mind?
How did, was it pressure? When I first joined, I didn't think anything of it
until I went on my first field op.
And guess what? When they went out on a patrol during the field op,
(12:17):
the radio went down because something was wrong with it. We didn't check it properly.
And then it was after that. And we got, I wouldn't say a lecture,
but we were given a lesson from one of our staff sergeants.
Explaining the importance of making sure these radios are
good to go because if that would have happened out in country that could
have cost lives potentially and it was after that
(12:38):
i understood like the magnitude of this job even though it's
not glorified like other like other jobs
in the movies that that's when
i truly understood the significance of making sure communication equipment was
good to go because it could go out and be
used by a union in afghanistan or iraq at any time
and you just bringing that
(13:01):
up it reminds me so one of
my responsibility in europe we used to protect nato sites and even to the day
right if if you call me like victor did the other day he but called me and i
called him back and it was important for him to call me back because Because
(13:21):
those of us that's been in the field,
look, I've been on the Army since 1983.
But when I was driving home, I seen his number, right, show up, right, the CRI.
Hey, I pulled over.
Then the phone went off. I couldn't even answer it.
And I had a, I went in another lane, deployment plan two, deployment plan two,
(13:46):
had communication and lost. I was about to turn around.
Then he called me back. He said, look, I just want to call you back,
man. Everything good. Everything good.
So every job, every skill, all of it matter. Mm-hmm. Right?
And one of the most beautiful things of my experience is that,
(14:06):
that's why I started this podcast.
Because everybody matters to me. Everybody matters.
When I took that oath, I signed a blank check that even included my life. Mm-hmm. Right?
And I still live by that. Everybody matters. And I don't like too much.
(14:27):
That's not script nothing.
But today we did this kind of, because we both were like, what are we going
to do? I don't know. Right?
So that we could get started. Because the reality is, what matters to me is
the camaraderie that we get to build. That really matters, man.
Not just on campus, but when we out. It really, really matters to me.
(14:52):
Tell us how your experience was here. Did you attend Mount San Antonio Community College?
Yeah. Yeah, I came here for my first two years before I transferred to Cal State
LA, and it was a good experience.
I'll be honest, I didn't interact with too many civilian population students.
(15:13):
It was mostly veterans that I interacted with, but I don't see a problem with
that personally. But it was good.
Most of my classes were more difficult here than at university,
if I'm being honest. Yeah.
But and I liked it, too, because it's close to home for me. It's only 20 minutes, 25 minutes.
(15:35):
Is it more challenging because here there's more hands on than there are? Explain that.
Is it more research there than here?
Explain that. I would say, I feel like because maybe professor jobs are more
(15:57):
competitive here, because I'm sure you know they're better paying usually.
And because you're on a set program at the university, some professors might
just be skating, coasting through, just going through the motions,
especially if they're tenured.
I mean, if they're tenured, how do you really know how much they care about
(16:17):
teaching the next generation of students? Gotcha.
So being Montsac, being more hands-on, more you can do it, don't stop,
right? We here, are we not?
Yeah, they definitely motivate you more here, the professors,
for sure. I'll say that much. I agree with you on that.
Good, good. So thank you for that lesson.
(16:40):
Is there anything else you'd like to share with us? Not at this moment.
How long have you been out to the Marine Corps? I've been out for six years.
Oh, no, five years this year.
He was in for six, and he almost got six on the outside.
Yeah, I turned 30 this year. What?
(17:01):
Congratulations. So when did you go in?
2013, three months after I graduated high school. He was, ooh, he sound like me.
He was trying to get away from the family, the hood, and everybody.
Body yeah that's part of it
but the the biggest reason was because my uncle he
was a marine as well and he was infantry that's what i wanted to do but i got
(17:23):
talked out of it by him because he told me about some of the stuff he saw and
i was like i get it you're in fallujah all that stuff so ultimately he's the
reason i joined and he's the reason i didn't do what he did Good for him. Good for him.
Yeah, because that's another level of mental health.
(17:44):
Tricks, right? And I laugh at it now when I look back.
But some of the things that I've done, my mom said when I got back,
she said, you know you qualify for money, right? No.
I'm like, what are you talking about? She said, I challenge you to go see a doctor just one time.
And I challenge you, don't try to make nothing up.
(18:07):
Well, that was my ominous warning that mom knew I was different, right?
And yeah, it's a different trip. But back to some of the things that I did,
you had to be mentally like on the other side of the park, right?
Yeah, you had to compartmentalize it. Ain't no compartmentalizing.
(18:29):
And so my brain said, when we had to go on assignments, man,
my brain had flipped to, okay, it's time to balance nature.
It's time to balance nature. That's fucked up. When I get back and I get to
talking to therapists, I say, oh, yeah, so what label is that?
(18:50):
And so what I came to the conclusion, oh, I can't say that on here.
I almost blew it. But I come to the conclusion of how some of us get mental illnesses.
So if I could go back a little bit, what do you mean by balanced nature?
When we got orders, they had to go.
(19:14):
So when we reached them, they had to go.
So some of us, we came up with a scene.
Well Lord you know we can't forgive them but we about to send them to you and
see what you do with them and to have that kind of mindset it's a mental illness mm-hmm.
(19:34):
It's funny that you say that, because my uncle kind of had that same mindset.
He always would tell me that when they'd go out on patrols, they would feel
like they had had to feel like they're superheroes, or else they won't be able to get the job done.
It's not the job, it's coming back. So we was trained to come back.
Okay. We was trained to come back. We wasn't trained for a failed mission, period.
(19:59):
We wasn't trained for a failed mission, and we wasn't trained to leave each other.
That's when we would disobey an order. Me leaving you, it ain't happening.
It just ain't happening. You're the closest thing on earth to me. It ain't happening.
So whoever gets in our way of getting back, I can't forgive them,
(20:22):
but I know who can. And I'm about to arrange that appointment.
And so i understand that part
where we really only have when we
are talking about things like that i could sit with your uncle and we're
probably just all right because who else
do you have to talk no one no one else can't tell
(20:44):
the therapist right because she gonna go tell on
you right just for you sharing your
real fucking experience right and so
i love this thing though i love the title of this podcast came listen to the
heartbeat where i was staying at a hotel and i guess blacks wasn't supposed
(21:05):
to stay there and just so happened they cleaned the room and they seen there
was blacks there and next thing i know swat came and i had told my wife i say the.
I took everything out of my pocket. She, where you going? What you doing? You tripping.
I said, you didn't hear the police out there? They was like creeping all.
She was like, I didn't hear nothing. Then the phone rang.
(21:28):
Hey, Mr. Carlton, hey, this the manager. Is it possible you can come up? Your car don't work.
I looked at my wife. I said, that's the police.
Right? I guess it's too bright around here.
Right? Right. And of course, when I went out before I got to the end of the
wall, I say, y'all can come out now.
And what I noticed is the assault rifles was pointed down and I immediately picked up on it.
(21:55):
I say, oh, y'all ran my name. I say, why are you pointing your weapons at me?
You know, you know, I mentioned the color of my skin and the color of their
skin. I say, somebody must have told y'all don't point your weapon at me.
And the two rookies that was close to me, they say they did. Why?
I said, because probably if I wasn't too mentally stable, you guys would be
(22:16):
in trouble. He was like, huh?
What's the pen and paper for? I said, I was just thinking about doing a podcast.
I said, I just got the name of the title.
Listen to the heartbeat. I said, now I'm going to sit down now.
Do you mind? And I sat down and I started writing. Listen to the heartbeat. I wasn't nervous.
I didn't feel like I was in danger. And I de-escalated the situation.
(22:40):
I pulled out my key to the room. I said, I guess you're looking for weapons or something like that.
You know, I get that a lot. You know, I'm this color.
And they checked, and they told the people, false flag, false flag, false flag. All right.
I didn't get nervous. I didn't feel threatened.
(23:01):
And then I came up with the title, Listen to the Heartbeat. It was like I was meditating.
Listen to the heartbeat. They asked me a real serious question, and I looked at them.
I said, the reason they said that, and the guy, the senior officer,
he said, come here, let me show you.
On their thing in the car, their computer, it said, notify all agencies.
(23:24):
That's what it said. For you? What the heck? It said, notify all agencies.
And so I get that a lot. I've been getting that for almost 30 years, 40 years.
Well, that's a crazy way to think of a name of a podcast.
But what it was is like right now I was just relaxed right I had never felt
(23:45):
that and I literally could hear my heart beat and it was just boom boom.
Not like it used to be police stopped you and I say that's the title and so everybody,
you included just sitting down having a discussion,
could propel other discussions it could be that man or woman who's down on their
(24:12):
leg and we're providing them the support,
some just want attention whatever it is we're providing them that We're giving
them a sense of direction like you did for me.
Hey, listen, you're going to have to go over to Covina or places over there.
You're going to have to reach out to such and such.
And I reached out to all of them. I went to all them places and I needed all
(24:33):
that for my mental health.
It was like God was testing to see how far you willing to go.
How far are you willing to go? Oh, I'm willing to go the whole distance.
And then I got a call. Hey, listen, there's a man's meeting.
It happens every year. You must be there.
I told my wife I got to go home. I said, I got to at least get a couple hours
(24:55):
of sleep. Why? I said, I got to go to this meeting.
And man, the place so beautiful, right?
What's even more beautiful? I didn't have the money. I had $1,400.
And I called Military Veteran Affairs. And the lady said, Mr.
Galdon, hold on a minute.
And I was on hold for like 10 minutes.
(25:18):
She would come back every. now and then and say, can you please hold?
Talking to somebody right now on your behalf.
When she came back, she said, call them and ask them what to do with that $1,400 you got.
Because I told her, I said, look, this is my last $1,400.
That $50,000 I had that I was planning long down the road, spending a thousand or so a week.
(25:43):
I said, I'm at the last. I said, once it's gone, I promise you,
I'm going to do what I know how to do to keep my wife and my daughter from being
on the street she said hold on hold on hold on.
Calling people? When she got back to me, she said, oh, go over there and sign the lease.
Two months after being there, some of the staff said to me, hey, listen,
(26:06):
we don't know what kind of assistance this is, but we know we got a call from
Military Veteran Affairs and these people set a precedent for you.
What we had to go through to get you here, we ain't never did it.
Lady said, I've been here 20 years. Ain't never seen it happen before.
So I said, Lord, thank Thank you. All right. I'll be a servant.
(26:30):
That's why you'll see me everywhere. Let me serve you, Lord,
because I already know. I remember when I was in prison, 2021.
No, 2001. I was in San Quentin State Prison.
I said, Lord, look, if you're going to let me out of here, I promise you I can
do one thing. I'm going to let my light shine.
I promise you that. I can't promise you everything else. I might not promise
(26:51):
you that I could deal with every flashback that's going to come. Right.
Every loss. I can't promise you that, but I promise you I'll let my light shine.
And I've done a good job since then. And I'll continue. See, you all matters to me.
Everybody I come in contact with are lessons and blessings for me.
(27:12):
That's some powerful stuff, Aaron. I appreciate you sharing that,
man. You're welcome. Any last words?
Talk to the veterans that might hear this. Well, for veterans,
I'll just say never give up hope.
There's always someone you can call if you're going through dark times.
(27:33):
Because I've been there before. I've had friends go through it.
Just never give up. There will always be someone there to have your six.
So keep on trucking, stay motivated, and that's really it.
This is Alice Angel V. You heard it here on Listen to the Heartbeat with Aaron
G. peace out everyone peace out.
(27:54):
Music.
Music.
(00:05):
Welcome to another exciting episode of Listen to the Heartbeat with Aaron G.
Today's special guest is Angel V., a Marine Corps veteran and a scholar.
Angel was in the undergraduate program at Cal State L.A. in the field of social work.
He is also very active with Student Veterans of America, especially here at
(00:30):
Mount San Antonio Community College.
Welcome, Angel, to Listen to the Heartbeat.
Hey, Aaron. Thanks for having me, man. You're welcome. Tell us,
what drove you to the field of social work?
Well, definitely the biggest factor that drove me was seeing my fellow brothers
I served with struggling in life and them not having proper guidance on how
(00:55):
to get out of any rut they're in.
And I just felt like it was my call in seeing them suffer.
And not seeing enough veterans helping out veterans in this field because civilians
really don't understand the
trials and tribulations we go through in life after we leave the service.
So tell us about, did you, so as a Marine, you had some experience.
(01:21):
Tell us about some of those experiences that continue to motivate you to want
to serve the veteran community. Motivating, motivating experiences.
(01:59):
And it is pretty much trying to
get them to buy into these resources that they may be hesitant to go to.
Tell us about transitioning from the Marine Corps into civilian life. How was that on you?
It was tough, you know? I mean, I was in for six years, and you spend every
(02:22):
day with the same group of guys for two years minimum, you know,
doing everything with them.
Eating, going to work, going out to have fun, living with them in the same building.
And it's tough because you feel like you lose a
piece of yourself when you get out you feel like
(02:43):
you have no one to talk to no one to turn to because all your friends you
know split up go different ways east coast
northwest and you lose that foundation of support from your brothers and that's
definitely the biggest thing i've i had when i got out because it's the classic
classic veteran saying that civilians don't understand how it is.
(03:06):
That's pretty much how it was.
So I found it difficult, but coming to school definitely helped me out a lot,
hanging out with other veterans.
And I came to Mt. SAC when I started and meeting other veterans in the VRC definitely
helped because we all had the same goals, same plans.
We wanted to reconnect and we helped each other transition into civilian life.
(03:28):
So I bear witness that that statement to one degree is so true because when
I moved to Pomona, I'm from LA, but I was released.
I used to live in Northern California and I didn't know that practically everywhere I go, somebody,
(03:51):
Department of Defense, somebody notified these people that, hey, this guy here.
And I didn't know that. And one day, I was looking into my rearview mirror.
I was dropping my daughter off. She was in elementary school.
And I see a detail, like two squads of police cars and motorcycles.
(04:14):
Right? And I'm like, okay, they still, they following me. And I know they following
me. I ain't paranoid. I ain't tripping.
When I got to my daughter's school and she got out, Then the police motorcycle
approached me, and he was nervous.
I'm like, whoa, I'm a black man. You know, that syndrome, right? Yeah, yeah.
I said, excuse me, sir, why are you nervous? I said, would you like my ID and my registration?
(04:39):
And he looked at me wide-eyed.
So my automatic expression was, this dude, I got a squad of people following
me, and they loaded. But he wasn't.
He said, can you follow me to the DMV? I say, for what?
He said, we've been following you for two miles. And the reason is so many of
us, we never experienced.
(05:01):
Your license plate don't show up in the system. I said, oh, I get that every now and then.
Why didn't it show up? Because I got a special set of skills.
And sometimes I believe they just want to keep these people away from me.
And that's all I said to him.
I say, so if it didn't show up, somebody trying to tell you something.
Right. Because I don't have the power to do that. So I understand.
(05:23):
And then I remember I had blocked out an experience I had in 1983 in Lebanon.
I was part of a group of people.
I was in the army.
And they sent us from Gießen, Germany.
I was part of a detachment. And they said they had two targets who happened to be in Lebanon.
(05:48):
And one target was the Marine Corps barracks. The other target was the French embassy.
And they was planning to do it simultaneously. We was on scene.
And I never shall forget request permission to engage, request permission to
engage. And they said abort, abort, abort.
And even as I'm talking to you right now, I still feel like I should have popped that head.
(06:09):
Because I watched so many people die. I identify with hanging out with my brother
Marines through days prior, and then 200 of them is just gone.
Like that, I still kind of feel it. It took me a while to, actually, it took 30 years.
(06:30):
I had buried that, buried it deep, deep, deep, deep down.
But several years ago, I told my wife and daughter, I said, Y'all need to go
because something going on and I don't know what it was. I was having an episode.
Yeah. And then God revealed it to me. It's time to start healing.
So thank you for considering the field of social work.
(06:55):
Because I remember last year at the beginning of last year, the home we had,
it became an environmental hazard.
And I was talking to you and you would say, are you interested?
Do you know about VPN? pen. I was like, yeah. And then you gave me a resource.
I reached out to that resource and they were about to get us in a new complex,
(07:16):
but I'm a hundred percent veteran.
And that particular complex was specifically designed for veterans that we go find.
Yeah. Right. And shortly afterwards, a brother told me, Hey,
you need to come to this man's meeting.
Don't miss it. And we're still staying in hotels, right? And I didn't miss it.
(07:39):
And it was a resort community.
And when I walked in the door, I just said, God, come on, man.
The way you work in my life, uh.
Are you showing me where you're about to bring me? Three months later, been there ever since.
Nice, dude. That's awesome. I love to hear that. And where's that at?
(07:59):
It's in Rancho Cucamonga. Oh, that's close to me. It's called Homecoming at
Terra Vista. I know exactly where that's at. I used to live near there.
And so the beauty is the spark started when I seen you in the vet center.
And you said, here go my details.
Hit me up. It was like you was like you was like a candle. You just lit up.
(08:20):
Right. This is what I like doing.
And you gave me the resource and it was all about the footwork.
Yes. Sometimes. Sorry for cutting you off. Go ahead. Sometimes that's all we
need. We just need someone to plant the seed in your head.
Give you the idea because I don't even know that's something you ever thought
of before that. Looking for housing resources.
(08:41):
So if I did that, I really appreciate it that you followed up on it.
No, thank you. Yes, I used to have.
So the challenge was me being married and have a dependent because I have a
list because I still volunteer at Patriotic Hall LA and reach out to veterans
(09:04):
because Patriotic Hall has the,
well, we have the largest veteran housing across the country.
And I love talking to vets on the phone.
And man, it's counselors, different states.
They call me, Aaron, got a vet, got a vet.
(09:25):
And we don't know how, you know, to communicate with them.
And I enjoy, I enjoy that as well.
I just do it, volunteer work. It's almost like my own, me giving back to my comrades.
And I like, there's an old, I'll go visit him a lot.
(09:45):
There's an old veteran, old Marine Corps veteran up at Loma Linda.
And I like going to visit him, knock on his door.
I say, what's up, soldier? He said, you ain't got to tell me you army.
I'm a Marine. And I say, come on, Mr. So-and-so, let's go for a stroll around the facility, right?
(10:06):
And so I identify with the camaraderie.
Back to transitioning from being a Marine for six years, losing the camaraderie.
Tell us about those challenges and
how you overcame them okay well like I previously said the other veteran students
(10:26):
that was huge for me because you feel that camaraderie again it's not the same
but because I mean y'all aren't in but you still feel it and also my family
and And my friends definitely,
I was lucky enough to have understanding support around me when it came to my family and friends.
(10:49):
Because they knew it was a difficult time for me. I would often lock myself in my room.
At first, they didn't understand why I was being so distant.
But they gave me my space. and then after that they would try to understand
why i am this way and the things i went through,
(11:13):
so the those are the two main things that helped me transition and just finding
hobbies hobbies i love to do i never golfed until i got out didn't think i would
like it but that's something i do now like every other week just to get outdoors
and have a good time with the boys you know,
(11:34):
So what was your MOS?
I was a 2841, a radio technician. So I would repair radios and amplifiers for the radios.
Just the whole radio system itself, I would maintain it, repair it if it needed fixing.
So tell us about the responsibility you felt.
(11:54):
You know you're preparing the radio for those that are getting ready to go out.
How did that cross your mind, even if it crossed your mind?
How did, was it pressure? When I first joined, I didn't think anything of it
until I went on my first field op.
And guess what? When they went out on a patrol during the field op,
(12:17):
the radio went down because something was wrong with it. We didn't check it properly.
And then it was after that. And we got, I wouldn't say a lecture,
but we were given a lesson from one of our staff sergeants.
Explaining the importance of making sure these radios are
good to go because if that would have happened out in country that could
have cost lives potentially and it was after that
(12:38):
i understood like the magnitude of this job even though it's
not glorified like other like other jobs
in the movies that that's when
i truly understood the significance of making sure communication equipment was
good to go because it could go out and be
used by a union in afghanistan or iraq at any time
and you just bringing that
(13:01):
up it reminds me so one of
my responsibility in europe we used to protect nato sites and even to the day
right if if you call me like victor did the other day he but called me and i
called him back and it was important for him to call me back because Because
(13:21):
those of us that's been in the field,
look, I've been on the Army since 1983.
But when I was driving home, I seen his number, right, show up, right, the CRI.
Hey, I pulled over.
Then the phone went off. I couldn't even answer it.
And I had a, I went in another lane, deployment plan two, deployment plan two,
(13:46):
had communication and lost. I was about to turn around.
Then he called me back. He said, look, I just want to call you back,
man. Everything good. Everything good.
So every job, every skill, all of it matter. Mm-hmm. Right?
And one of the most beautiful things of my experience is that,
(14:06):
that's why I started this podcast.
Because everybody matters to me. Everybody matters.
When I took that oath, I signed a blank check that even included my life. Mm-hmm. Right?
And I still live by that. Everybody matters. And I don't like too much.
(14:27):
That's not script nothing.
But today we did this kind of, because we both were like, what are we going
to do? I don't know. Right?
So that we could get started. Because the reality is, what matters to me is
the camaraderie that we get to build. That really matters, man.
Not just on campus, but when we out. It really, really matters to me.
(14:52):
Tell us how your experience was here. Did you attend Mount San Antonio Community College?
Yeah. Yeah, I came here for my first two years before I transferred to Cal State
LA, and it was a good experience.
I'll be honest, I didn't interact with too many civilian population students.
(15:13):
It was mostly veterans that I interacted with, but I don't see a problem with
that personally. But it was good.
Most of my classes were more difficult here than at university,
if I'm being honest. Yeah.
But and I liked it, too, because it's close to home for me. It's only 20 minutes, 25 minutes.
(15:35):
Is it more challenging because here there's more hands on than there are? Explain that.
Is it more research there than here?
Explain that. I would say, I feel like because maybe professor jobs are more
(15:57):
competitive here, because I'm sure you know they're better paying usually.
And because you're on a set program at the university, some professors might
just be skating, coasting through, just going through the motions,
especially if they're tenured.
I mean, if they're tenured, how do you really know how much they care about
(16:17):
teaching the next generation of students? Gotcha.
So being Montsac, being more hands-on, more you can do it, don't stop,
right? We here, are we not?
Yeah, they definitely motivate you more here, the professors,
for sure. I'll say that much. I agree with you on that.
Good, good. So thank you for that lesson.
(16:40):
Is there anything else you'd like to share with us? Not at this moment.
How long have you been out to the Marine Corps? I've been out for six years.
Oh, no, five years this year.
He was in for six, and he almost got six on the outside.
Yeah, I turned 30 this year. What?
(17:01):
Congratulations. So when did you go in?
2013, three months after I graduated high school. He was, ooh, he sound like me.
He was trying to get away from the family, the hood, and everybody.
Body yeah that's part of it
but the the biggest reason was because my uncle he
was a marine as well and he was infantry that's what i wanted to do but i got
(17:23):
talked out of it by him because he told me about some of the stuff he saw and
i was like i get it you're in fallujah all that stuff so ultimately he's the
reason i joined and he's the reason i didn't do what he did Good for him. Good for him.
Yeah, because that's another level of mental health.
(17:44):
Tricks, right? And I laugh at it now when I look back.
But some of the things that I've done, my mom said when I got back,
she said, you know you qualify for money, right? No.
I'm like, what are you talking about? She said, I challenge you to go see a doctor just one time.
And I challenge you, don't try to make nothing up.
(18:07):
Well, that was my ominous warning that mom knew I was different, right?
And yeah, it's a different trip. But back to some of the things that I did,
you had to be mentally like on the other side of the park, right?
Yeah, you had to compartmentalize it. Ain't no compartmentalizing.
(18:29):
And so my brain said, when we had to go on assignments, man,
my brain had flipped to, okay, it's time to balance nature.
It's time to balance nature. That's fucked up. When I get back and I get to
talking to therapists, I say, oh, yeah, so what label is that?
(18:50):
And so what I came to the conclusion, oh, I can't say that on here.
I almost blew it. But I come to the conclusion of how some of us get mental illnesses.
So if I could go back a little bit, what do you mean by balanced nature?
When we got orders, they had to go.
(19:14):
So when we reached them, they had to go.
So some of us, we came up with a scene.
Well Lord you know we can't forgive them but we about to send them to you and
see what you do with them and to have that kind of mindset it's a mental illness mm-hmm.
(19:34):
It's funny that you say that, because my uncle kind of had that same mindset.
He always would tell me that when they'd go out on patrols, they would feel
like they had had to feel like they're superheroes, or else they won't be able to get the job done.
It's not the job, it's coming back. So we was trained to come back.
Okay. We was trained to come back. We wasn't trained for a failed mission, period.
(19:59):
We wasn't trained for a failed mission, and we wasn't trained to leave each other.
That's when we would disobey an order. Me leaving you, it ain't happening.
It just ain't happening. You're the closest thing on earth to me. It ain't happening.
So whoever gets in our way of getting back, I can't forgive them,
(20:22):
but I know who can. And I'm about to arrange that appointment.
And so i understand that part
where we really only have when we
are talking about things like that i could sit with your uncle and we're
probably just all right because who else
do you have to talk no one no one else can't tell
(20:44):
the therapist right because she gonna go tell on
you right just for you sharing your
real fucking experience right and so
i love this thing though i love the title of this podcast came listen to the
heartbeat where i was staying at a hotel and i guess blacks wasn't supposed
(21:05):
to stay there and just so happened they cleaned the room and they seen there
was blacks there and next thing i know swat came and i had told my wife i say the.
I took everything out of my pocket. She, where you going? What you doing? You tripping.
I said, you didn't hear the police out there? They was like creeping all.
She was like, I didn't hear nothing. Then the phone rang.
(21:28):
Hey, Mr. Carlton, hey, this the manager. Is it possible you can come up? Your car don't work.
I looked at my wife. I said, that's the police.
Right? I guess it's too bright around here.
Right? Right. And of course, when I went out before I got to the end of the
wall, I say, y'all can come out now.
And what I noticed is the assault rifles was pointed down and I immediately picked up on it.
(21:55):
I say, oh, y'all ran my name. I say, why are you pointing your weapons at me?
You know, you know, I mentioned the color of my skin and the color of their
skin. I say, somebody must have told y'all don't point your weapon at me.
And the two rookies that was close to me, they say they did. Why?
I said, because probably if I wasn't too mentally stable, you guys would be
(22:16):
in trouble. He was like, huh?
What's the pen and paper for? I said, I was just thinking about doing a podcast.
I said, I just got the name of the title.
Listen to the heartbeat. I said, now I'm going to sit down now.
Do you mind? And I sat down and I started writing. Listen to the heartbeat. I wasn't nervous.
I didn't feel like I was in danger. And I de-escalated the situation.
(22:40):
I pulled out my key to the room. I said, I guess you're looking for weapons or something like that.
You know, I get that a lot. You know, I'm this color.
And they checked, and they told the people, false flag, false flag, false flag. All right.
I didn't get nervous. I didn't feel threatened.
(23:01):
And then I came up with the title, Listen to the Heartbeat. It was like I was meditating.
Listen to the heartbeat. They asked me a real serious question, and I looked at them.
I said, the reason they said that, and the guy, the senior officer,
he said, come here, let me show you.
On their thing in the car, their computer, it said, notify all agencies.
(23:24):
That's what it said. For you? What the heck? It said, notify all agencies.
And so I get that a lot. I've been getting that for almost 30 years, 40 years.
Well, that's a crazy way to think of a name of a podcast.
But what it was is like right now I was just relaxed right I had never felt
(23:45):
that and I literally could hear my heart beat and it was just boom boom.
Not like it used to be police stopped you and I say that's the title and so everybody,
you included just sitting down having a discussion,
could propel other discussions it could be that man or woman who's down on their
(24:12):
leg and we're providing them the support,
some just want attention whatever it is we're providing them that We're giving
them a sense of direction like you did for me.
Hey, listen, you're going to have to go over to Covina or places over there.
You're going to have to reach out to such and such.
And I reached out to all of them. I went to all them places and I needed all
(24:33):
that for my mental health.
It was like God was testing to see how far you willing to go.
How far are you willing to go? Oh, I'm willing to go the whole distance.
And then I got a call. Hey, listen, there's a man's meeting.
It happens every year. You must be there.
I told my wife I got to go home. I said, I got to at least get a couple hours
(24:55):
of sleep. Why? I said, I got to go to this meeting.
And man, the place so beautiful, right?
What's even more beautiful? I didn't have the money. I had $1,400.
And I called Military Veteran Affairs. And the lady said, Mr.
Galdon, hold on a minute.
And I was on hold for like 10 minutes.
(25:18):
She would come back every. now and then and say, can you please hold?
Talking to somebody right now on your behalf.
When she came back, she said, call them and ask them what to do with that $1,400 you got.
Because I told her, I said, look, this is my last $1,400.
That $50,000 I had that I was planning long down the road, spending a thousand or so a week.
(25:43):
I said, I'm at the last. I said, once it's gone, I promise you,
I'm going to do what I know how to do to keep my wife and my daughter from being
on the street she said hold on hold on hold on.
Calling people? When she got back to me, she said, oh, go over there and sign the lease.
Two months after being there, some of the staff said to me, hey, listen,
(26:06):
we don't know what kind of assistance this is, but we know we got a call from
Military Veteran Affairs and these people set a precedent for you.
What we had to go through to get you here, we ain't never did it.
Lady said, I've been here 20 years. Ain't never seen it happen before.
So I said, Lord, thank Thank you. All right. I'll be a servant.
(26:30):
That's why you'll see me everywhere. Let me serve you, Lord,
because I already know. I remember when I was in prison, 2021.
No, 2001. I was in San Quentin State Prison.
I said, Lord, look, if you're going to let me out of here, I promise you I can
do one thing. I'm going to let my light shine.
I promise you that. I can't promise you everything else. I might not promise
(26:51):
you that I could deal with every flashback that's going to come. Right.
Every loss. I can't promise you that, but I promise you I'll let my light shine.
And I've done a good job since then. And I'll continue. See, you all matters to me.
Everybody I come in contact with are lessons and blessings for me.
(27:12):
That's some powerful stuff, Aaron. I appreciate you sharing that,
man. You're welcome. Any last words?
Talk to the veterans that might hear this. Well, for veterans,
I'll just say never give up hope.
There's always someone you can call if you're going through dark times.
(27:33):
Because I've been there before. I've had friends go through it.
Just never give up. There will always be someone there to have your six.
So keep on trucking, stay motivated, and that's really it.
This is Alice Angel V. You heard it here on Listen to the Heartbeat with Aaron
G. peace out everyone peace out.
(27:54):
Music.
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