The Untold Power of Menopause and Reinvention
In midlife, we often feel disempowered due to various factors such as symptoms of perimenopause, changing roles, and the burden of doing so much for others. Feeling lost during this phase is a common experience.
However, this is actually the MOST empowered time of your life to redefine who you are and how you show up in the world. And we will dive into how to go about it today on the podcast.
Let's challenge societal norms surrounding midlife and unveil the empowering process of self-discovery. This shift involves a transition from societal conditioning of appearance and value to a profound self-appreciation of our unique attributes and individual presentation to the world.
We explore the societal pressures that persist but also highlight the genuine change that starts WITHIN, impacting not just personal development but societal perceptions as well.
Midlife often comes with feelings of invisibility and diminished worth. Instead of succumbing to these cultural pressures, we're going to explore and redefine your value system from an external to an internal locus. Through this shift, we begin to center our value on who we genuinely are and what we uniquely offer the world.
And we venture into the upgraded opportunities available to us during this stage of life. Hormonal changes not only contribute to significant physiological transformations but also set the stage for accelerated personal development. Midlife is not the winding down phase it is often perceived to be; instead, it's a powerful launch pad for a life of meaningful change and growth.
Challenge societal expectations, embrace your wisdom, and liberate your genuine self because midlife is just the beginning of your most empowering journey yet!
Follow Meegan on Instagram here
Join the waitlist for The Midlife Upgrade Course: https://meegancare.co.nz/course/
Please note: Nothing within this podcast constitutes medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Kia ora. Are you a woman navigating midlife, menopause and beyond?
I'm Megan Keir, your midlife mentor and psychosynthesis counsellor and coach.
Join me as we dive deep into the heart of midlife, unravelling the complexities
of menopause and exploring uncharted territories that lie beyond.
Together, we'll navigate through self-doubt, bid farewell to people-pleasing,
(00:22):
conquer imposter syndrome and tame those overwhelming feelings.
It's time to celebrate this vibrant second chapter of life, claiming your authentic
confidence and courage along the way.
Midlife is not a time to settle. It is a time to unleash your purpose,
make an impact uniquely your own, all while prioritizing your well-being.
(00:43):
So buckle up for conversations that resonate with the essence of your midlife
journey. Are you ready? Let's begin.
Hey, my friend, welcome. Welcome to the podcast. So glad that you're here and
that you've joined us on this day.
Today's episode is five reasons why midlife is just the beginning.
And I want to bring this to you because I'm at a place in my life where I'm
(01:07):
really feeling that in my body, in my nervous system and in my brain.
But it hasn't always been that way.
And there have been many times when I felt that life was becoming smaller and
less interesting and more of a struggle and just more stress and more of that mundane on and on.
(01:28):
So this is a piece of inspiration of taking the blinkers off,
that going through perimenopause, midlife,
the midlife burden brings to us and narrows our vision.
And so today's episode is all about taking those blinkers off.
And just before I get started, though, I do want to sincerely invite you to
(01:53):
think about joining my course.
We start the next round on the 1st of June.
If you're listening to this podcast and we're beyond the 1st of June, that's okay.
There'll be another round coming up in normally four weeks time.
And the reason I want to invite you to this course is because of the results
(02:13):
that I see for the women that have come onto the course, the Midlife Upgrade course.
And that's my signature program. I've designed it specifically for you.
A woman in midlife, to help you reset, reignite.
Relight that fire within your heart for life and the results that women are
(02:38):
getting on this course blows me away.
The benefits women have received from joining the course include the sense of reinvention,
of re-ignition of their true selves and their vitality and a capacity to like
really see life from just a much more open perspective.
(03:01):
The changes that are taking place for women are just incredible and we use evidence-based tools,
strategies and perspectives from a psychotherapeutic and counselling mindfulness
context so you can be assured that I'm not just throwing a whole lot of fluff
at you and racking up your energy system each week.
(03:25):
This is deep work and fun
work that helps you to redefine your
self-concept who you are how you want to show up in the world and how you connect
with other people and we do it in the in the container of the course so there's
video modules worksheets you're working through one particular area each week.
(03:50):
And then you have the totally optional, but I will say life-changing option
of joining our weekly conversation calls, our coaching calls,
our conversation calls.
They are an opportunity to go a little deeper with the work and to understand yourself better.
Now, I don't know about you, but I can feel a little bit intimidated showing
(04:13):
up to a group event especially when it's on Zoom but I want to tell you that
these Zoom calls which are part of the course are actually life-changing.
There are connections and bonds formed on these calls that sustain way beyond
the length of the course.
(04:34):
So this is my personal invitation to you to join us on the course.
I know you will benefit from it and I am there to support you all the way.
Check out all the details on my website, megancare.co.nz forward slash course,
and just reach out if you've got any questions at all.
(04:55):
Now, on with the episode, five reasons why midlife is just the beginning.
You have my personal guarantee on that.
Reason number one, this is a time of self-discovery and potential reinvention for us as women.
It's a unique opportunity where, yes, your hormones are changing.
(05:19):
You've got estrogen, progesterone declining.
This actually opens the doorway for a change in self-concept,
a change in who you are, in your very identity and how you show up in the world.
And that is actually a really hard thing to kickstart as an adult.
So we know as children our brain and personality and
(05:42):
psyche go through lots of changes that when we're
an adult things can tend to stay quite the same
and steady as she goes well midlife and
perimenopause along with all the changes that bring challenges
for many of us is this fabulous opportunity
for reinvention for an
(06:02):
upgrade of your own self-concept of how
you feel about yourself and how you
show up in the world how you value yourself if
you're a person that has had children in your
life for many of us at this time our children
are getting older closer to leaving home closer to finishing school or perhaps
(06:25):
they have left home and yes there is the empty nest challenge or syndrome if
you like that we have to navigate there is grief when our child leaves.
All mixed in with excitement, hope, maybe some disappointment that things haven't
worked out yet the way that you had dreamt for your child.
(06:47):
That is all a very normal part of being a parent, of course.
But along with that shift of identity that is often described as the emptiness
syndrome comes a massive opportunity to rewrite your identity and how you show up in the world.
Now how you feel about that is something that can be worked on,
(07:11):
changed and brought into a positive light and you can make this opportunity
for reinvention something that actually works for you. do.
This self-identity change that happened, what will always come with it is a
period of falling away, of grief, of shedding, and of not knowing.
(07:36):
That is such an integral part of growth for us as humans.
And we've seen it at other stages of our life, and it
is normal and expected at this
stage of our life as well and reason number two my
friend as to why midlife is just the beginning is
you've got this incredible foundation now of wisdom and
(07:59):
experience right you're in your 40s you're in your 50s you have the experience
that you didn't have when you were 20 and that is something that is so so valuable
it may not be valued in the culture that you are a part of.
In many cultures, wisdom and experience is very valued, not so much in our Western culture.
(08:26):
That doesn't take away from the truth that your wisdom and your life experience
is incredibly valuable and is a foundation and offers you leverage for making
decisions about your life,
about new directions going forward.
(08:46):
Because you've lived a life, you've seen what is important.
You've maybe gone through phases in your
life where you think I don't really want to be
that person anymore that is not what I
value anymore and so you have all
that experience to launch forward from into this next stage of life and reason
(09:07):
number three is that we become freed from societal expectations and with that
freedom comes a feeling of great liberation.
Now along with that I hear from many women and of course I've experienced it
myself is that we start to feel a little more invisible.
(09:33):
A little more overlooked and some women I've talked to have have said that this
is a major problem for them, that they feel completely invisible in the workplace,
socially, they feel overlooked and invisible.
So that goes hand in hand with the societal structure that has been with us
(09:53):
for hundreds of years, that has viewed women as a commodity,
as something that has value because they bear children, right?
Or for sex. Now when we come into our wisdom years of midlife,
we are no longer seen that way.
(10:15):
And so what can happen is that we then become overlooked and forgotten.
And as challenging as that is,
there is gold within this and the goal is that we can become incredibly liberated
through that journey of outgrowing the maiden, of being the maiden archetype.
(10:39):
And because you're not so much seen in that way, yes, there's the challenge for some of us.
If that's what our self-worth and our ego was based on, as being seen as a valuable,
woman for your physical appearance, then going through midlife and coming into your wise years,
we can lose touch with a sense of value for ourself because it was based on
(11:03):
something that is not helpful for us long term, right?
It's based on women as a commodity in terms of the way they look and show up in society.
But that's a broken model that doesn't serve us at all.
And thanks to nature and thanks to aging, we get to be free from that.
(11:26):
And it can be incredibly, incredibly liberating.
And so there's many calls now for
dropping the marketing phrase as
an example of anti-aging anti-aging skin
care anti-aging diets anti-aging exercise plans the call is to value aging for
(11:51):
what it is and this is showing us that there's a shift coming there's a change happening so for us as
women in our midlife and we now shake off the maiden's cloak and crown. We are no longer her.
We know that for our gender, there is the archetype of the maiden,
(12:14):
the beautiful young woman, and then there's the archetype of the crone,
the old, wizened, wrinkled, stooped, dangerous crone, right?
There's nowhere in between, generally speaking. And so we can cast aside both
of those archetypes because they're not useful for us,
(12:37):
and we can take up the archetype of whoever you want to be, the wise woman.
Your own superhero. You get to choose who you want to be at this stage.
And yeah, there's a lot of societal conditioning that we need to cast aside
around appearance and value and how one equates to the other.
(12:59):
And we can do as much inner work as possible on ourselves, but the cultural
conditioning is still out there. It still exists.
But when you create that change at that deep
level of yourself and you become way
more accepting of who you are of the
(13:20):
changes of your physical appearance of your skin of
your hair how you show up in the world and are
okay with that as we each do that
we are creating not only
change for ourselves we're creating change within the world around us and I
love that for us so that we have this opportunity to learn how to value ourselves
(13:44):
from the inside out rather than on how we're received and it can be a rude shock actually.
Realizing that I am now overlooked.
I am now not seen in the way I used to be seen in social gatherings,
that special attention is no longer given to me. That I used to take for granted.
(14:08):
And I find it like cosmically amusing and so interesting for me just on a personal
level, because it was something that I took for granted.
And now that it's no longer there, And as it was no longer there,
I questioned my value, although inherently, I'm pretty steady in my internal value.
(14:34):
I started to notice this layer where I valued myself, and that had been built
up based on other people's perception of me, feedback, attention, interest.
And now that that has changed and is
changing and will continue to change so this
time my friend is a time where you can really break
(14:55):
free from societal expectations and norms and a lot of those because they're
so embedded in who we are as a culture as a group of people we don't really
know that they're there until it starts to shift and change until midlife starts to happen and as
you start to notice that it's there, that might feel like there's some dissatisfaction
(15:19):
or some regret, or I wish it would stay the same.
But once we accept that this is changing and nothing I'm going to do is going
to alter that fact, then I'm free from it.
I'm free from what held me in society's expectations, free to truly be me.
(15:40):
And I might not know who that is yet.
But this is the task of midlife, is to find this out.
And to do that, we need to break free from our conditioning.
Reason number four is that your brain is going through this incredible upgrade.
As your hormones change and the role of estrogen lessens in your body,
(16:04):
so the estrogen in your body starts declining anywhere from your mid-30s onwards and becomes lower,
estrogen drives emotion.
Estrogen drives caretaking. It is so linked with our emotional beingness that
as this starts to change, the pathways in your brain also start to change.
(16:29):
So your brain is going through an upgrade.
And yes, there are the very uncomfortable symptoms that come along with that
upgrade of perimenopause and early postmenopause, of brain fog,
of loss of confidence, of loss of identity.
There are many, many others. What we are starting to understand is that your
(16:49):
brain is actually going through an upgrade.
It is getting better, more resilient,
stronger, stronger and therefore your psyche and your personality can become
more secure and way more resilient because of this upgrade.
So if you're in the middle of an upgrade, think of it like a renovation that
(17:13):
you might do on your house.
You know, when there's dust flying, things have pulled out, it's a mess and
you're like, oh my God, is this ever going to look good again?
I cannot live here anymore.
And then when the renovation is finished, you look around and you have this
this beautiful new kitchen, living area, bedroom,
bathroom, and this beautiful new space to live in, well, your brain and your
(17:38):
psyche is going through an upgrade, is going through a renovation.
So whilst it might be really messy right now, and you're really not enjoying
living, it's going to get better. It is really going to get better.
So there's a massive opportunity for growth here.
And reason number five is that because of this incredible opportunity that nature
(18:02):
is giving you to upgrade your psyche and your self-concept,
and of course, as a result of that, your life,
any focus that you now do on your personal growth and on your well-being will
gain more traction than if you had done that before.
Prior to perimenopause. Because when the physiology changes because of the hormonal changes,
(18:29):
then of course the brain and the nervous system and then the psychological structure
of who you are can more easily change.
Because change that comes from a closed system,
a settled system system of psychology
is harder to instigate if
(18:51):
everything's going well that's why when challenges
come up in our life we create change around
them if grief happens we grow tremendously from
that or we can do when we go through midlife because the structure's been kind
of torn down in a way because of the hormonal changes and I'm talking psychologically
(19:12):
here then we have this this amazing opportunity for growth that wasn't,
say, there five years ago.
And so any work you do at this time or any personal development that you do,
the results that you'll get from that increase exponentially.
(19:32):
So what I'm saying in simple words is that this is a really profound time for change.
If you want to make those changes, changes if you're
feeling that life is for you
not where you want it to be but you
don't know yet how to create change know that although you don't know how to
(19:54):
create the change that you want you are in the prime time for change in your
adult years and the fact that you want to create change,
that you have an intention for change, growth, and evolution is the spark that
starts that electrical current running through your life.
(20:17):
And this is why we see divorce rates are really high in midlife.
People are ready for change. Now, change doesn't have to mean that you leave your relationship.
It might, and that might be the most powerful life-giving change for the both
of view for you and your partner.
But it doesn't always mean that, of course, because the truth is no one else
(20:41):
is going to prioritize you, your well-being and your growth.
It is going to take you drawing a line in the sand, putting your foot down and saying, no more.
I'm ready for this to change.
No one else is going to give that to you. People do not. We do not.
(21:01):
No one else is going to give that to you. You are going to need to give that to yourself.
And like I said, it doesn't matter if you don't even know what that next step is.
The fact that you create that clear intention for change is enough to get the ball rolling.
When life then opens doors for you, take those changes, take those steps forward
(21:23):
in that direction, even if it seems wobbly and scary and you're not sure where it's going to lead.
Need life responds to us so
when we create a clear intention then doors
start to open and don't do what I
did when I was in my 20s and really unwell with Crohn's disease I waited and
(21:45):
waited until I got sicker and sicker and sicker until I just couldn't function
anymore and my My body could not even get out of bed before I created the change.
Those signals from your body and from your psyche that are calling you forward
for growth and hear them before they get so loud, as mine did when I was sick with Crohn's disease,
(22:09):
that I couldn't do anything else but listen to them.
Grab those signals now and create change in your life now.
And your next step might be
that you write down the areas of your
life that you're unsatisfied with that
you want to create change in and you might
circle two of them you might
(22:31):
circle one of them as a priority and you
might write down underneath that I am ready and
willing to create change in this
area of my life and you might also write down
show me the next steps and life will show
you the next steps all right my friend I hope that has been helpful of inspiration
(22:52):
if you enjoyed the podcast please share it with your friend I so much love hearing
from you when I'm out and about that you've been listening to the podcast or
the episode that you've enjoyed.
It really does feel like we're growing this empowered community.
I thank you for listening and I thank you for just being who you are in the world.
(23:14):
Go well and we'll speak again next week. Hey, thanks for joining me on the podcast.
Really appreciate you. Check out my course where we just go so much deeper than
I can ever do on a podcast over an eight-week period.
The Midlife Upgrade course is a blend of video and learning modules and weekly
live calls where you will discover a roadmap for psychological freedom in midlife.
(23:40):
Check out all the details on my website. I really, really would love to have
you join the course. megancare.co.nz forward slash course.
Kia ora. Are you a woman navigating midlife, menopause and beyond?
I'm Megan Keir, your midlife mentor and psychosynthesis counsellor and coach.
Join me as we dive deep into the heart of midlife, unravelling the complexities
of menopause and exploring uncharted territories that lie beyond.
Together, we'll navigate through self-doubt, bid farewell to people-pleasing,
(00:22):
conquer imposter syndrome and tame those overwhelming feelings.
It's time to celebrate this vibrant second chapter of life, claiming your authentic
confidence and courage along the way.
Midlife is not a time to settle. It is a time to unleash your purpose,
make an impact uniquely your own, all while prioritizing your well-being.
(00:43):
So buckle up for conversations that resonate with the essence of your midlife
journey. Are you ready? Let's begin.
Hey, my friend, welcome. Welcome to the podcast. So glad that you're here and
that you've joined us on this day.
Today's episode is five reasons why midlife is just the beginning.
And I want to bring this to you because I'm at a place in my life where I'm
(01:07):
really feeling that in my body, in my nervous system and in my brain.
But it hasn't always been that way.
And there have been many times when I felt that life was becoming smaller and
less interesting and more of a struggle and just more stress and more of that mundane on and on.
(01:28):
So this is a piece of inspiration of taking the blinkers off,
that going through perimenopause, midlife,
the midlife burden brings to us and narrows our vision.
And so today's episode is all about taking those blinkers off.
And just before I get started, though, I do want to sincerely invite you to
(01:53):
think about joining my course.
We start the next round on the 1st of June.
If you're listening to this podcast and we're beyond the 1st of June, that's okay.
There'll be another round coming up in normally four weeks time.
And the reason I want to invite you to this course is because of the results
(02:13):
that I see for the women that have come onto the course, the Midlife Upgrade course.
And that's my signature program. I've designed it specifically for you.
A woman in midlife, to help you reset, reignite.
Relight that fire within your heart for life and the results that women are
(02:38):
getting on this course blows me away.
The benefits women have received from joining the course include the sense of reinvention,
of re-ignition of their true selves and their vitality and a capacity to like
really see life from just a much more open perspective.
(03:01):
The changes that are taking place for women are just incredible and we use evidence-based tools,
strategies and perspectives from a psychotherapeutic and counselling mindfulness
context so you can be assured that I'm not just throwing a whole lot of fluff
at you and racking up your energy system each week.
(03:25):
This is deep work and fun
work that helps you to redefine your
self-concept who you are how you want to show up in the world and how you connect
with other people and we do it in the in the container of the course so there's
video modules worksheets you're working through one particular area each week.
(03:50):
And then you have the totally optional, but I will say life-changing option
of joining our weekly conversation calls, our coaching calls,
our conversation calls.
They are an opportunity to go a little deeper with the work and to understand yourself better.
Now, I don't know about you, but I can feel a little bit intimidated showing
(04:13):
up to a group event especially when it's on Zoom but I want to tell you that
these Zoom calls which are part of the course are actually life-changing.
There are connections and bonds formed on these calls that sustain way beyond
the length of the course.
(04:34):
So this is my personal invitation to you to join us on the course.
I know you will benefit from it and I am there to support you all the way.
Check out all the details on my website, megancare.co.nz forward slash course,
and just reach out if you've got any questions at all.
(04:55):
Now, on with the episode, five reasons why midlife is just the beginning.
You have my personal guarantee on that.
Reason number one, this is a time of self-discovery and potential reinvention for us as women.
It's a unique opportunity where, yes, your hormones are changing.
(05:19):
You've got estrogen, progesterone declining.
This actually opens the doorway for a change in self-concept,
a change in who you are, in your very identity and how you show up in the world.
And that is actually a really hard thing to kickstart as an adult.
So we know as children our brain and personality and
(05:42):
psyche go through lots of changes that when we're
an adult things can tend to stay quite the same
and steady as she goes well midlife and
perimenopause along with all the changes that bring challenges
for many of us is this fabulous opportunity
for reinvention for an
(06:02):
upgrade of your own self-concept of how
you feel about yourself and how you
show up in the world how you value yourself if
you're a person that has had children in your
life for many of us at this time our children
are getting older closer to leaving home closer to finishing school or perhaps
(06:25):
they have left home and yes there is the empty nest challenge or syndrome if
you like that we have to navigate there is grief when our child leaves.
All mixed in with excitement, hope, maybe some disappointment that things haven't
worked out yet the way that you had dreamt for your child.
(06:47):
That is all a very normal part of being a parent, of course.
But along with that shift of identity that is often described as the emptiness
syndrome comes a massive opportunity to rewrite your identity and how you show up in the world.
Now how you feel about that is something that can be worked on,
(07:11):
changed and brought into a positive light and you can make this opportunity
for reinvention something that actually works for you. do.
This self-identity change that happened, what will always come with it is a
period of falling away, of grief, of shedding, and of not knowing.
(07:36):
That is such an integral part of growth for us as humans.
And we've seen it at other stages of our life, and it
is normal and expected at this
stage of our life as well and reason number two my
friend as to why midlife is just the beginning is
you've got this incredible foundation now of wisdom and
(07:59):
experience right you're in your 40s you're in your 50s you have the experience
that you didn't have when you were 20 and that is something that is so so valuable
it may not be valued in the culture that you are a part of.
In many cultures, wisdom and experience is very valued, not so much in our Western culture.
(08:26):
That doesn't take away from the truth that your wisdom and your life experience
is incredibly valuable and is a foundation and offers you leverage for making
decisions about your life,
about new directions going forward.
(08:46):
Because you've lived a life, you've seen what is important.
You've maybe gone through phases in your
life where you think I don't really want to be
that person anymore that is not what I
value anymore and so you have all
that experience to launch forward from into this next stage of life and reason
(09:07):
number three is that we become freed from societal expectations and with that
freedom comes a feeling of great liberation.
Now along with that I hear from many women and of course I've experienced it
myself is that we start to feel a little more invisible.
(09:33):
A little more overlooked and some women I've talked to have have said that this
is a major problem for them, that they feel completely invisible in the workplace,
socially, they feel overlooked and invisible.
So that goes hand in hand with the societal structure that has been with us
(09:53):
for hundreds of years, that has viewed women as a commodity,
as something that has value because they bear children, right?
Or for sex. Now when we come into our wisdom years of midlife,
we are no longer seen that way.
(10:15):
And so what can happen is that we then become overlooked and forgotten.
And as challenging as that is,
there is gold within this and the goal is that we can become incredibly liberated
through that journey of outgrowing the maiden, of being the maiden archetype.
(10:39):
And because you're not so much seen in that way, yes, there's the challenge for some of us.
If that's what our self-worth and our ego was based on, as being seen as a valuable,
woman for your physical appearance, then going through midlife and coming into your wise years,
we can lose touch with a sense of value for ourself because it was based on
(11:03):
something that is not helpful for us long term, right?
It's based on women as a commodity in terms of the way they look and show up in society.
But that's a broken model that doesn't serve us at all.
And thanks to nature and thanks to aging, we get to be free from that.
(11:26):
And it can be incredibly, incredibly liberating.
And so there's many calls now for
dropping the marketing phrase as
an example of anti-aging anti-aging skin
care anti-aging diets anti-aging exercise plans the call is to value aging for
(11:51):
what it is and this is showing us that there's a shift coming there's a change happening so for us as
women in our midlife and we now shake off the maiden's cloak and crown. We are no longer her.
We know that for our gender, there is the archetype of the maiden,
(12:14):
the beautiful young woman, and then there's the archetype of the crone,
the old, wizened, wrinkled, stooped, dangerous crone, right?
There's nowhere in between, generally speaking. And so we can cast aside both
of those archetypes because they're not useful for us,
(12:37):
and we can take up the archetype of whoever you want to be, the wise woman.
Your own superhero. You get to choose who you want to be at this stage.
And yeah, there's a lot of societal conditioning that we need to cast aside
around appearance and value and how one equates to the other.
(12:59):
And we can do as much inner work as possible on ourselves, but the cultural
conditioning is still out there. It still exists.
But when you create that change at that deep
level of yourself and you become way
more accepting of who you are of the
(13:20):
changes of your physical appearance of your skin of
your hair how you show up in the world and are
okay with that as we each do that
we are creating not only
change for ourselves we're creating change within the world around us and I
love that for us so that we have this opportunity to learn how to value ourselves
(13:44):
from the inside out rather than on how we're received and it can be a rude shock actually.
Realizing that I am now overlooked.
I am now not seen in the way I used to be seen in social gatherings,
that special attention is no longer given to me. That I used to take for granted.
(14:08):
And I find it like cosmically amusing and so interesting for me just on a personal
level, because it was something that I took for granted.
And now that it's no longer there, And as it was no longer there,
I questioned my value, although inherently, I'm pretty steady in my internal value.
(14:34):
I started to notice this layer where I valued myself, and that had been built
up based on other people's perception of me, feedback, attention, interest.
And now that that has changed and is
changing and will continue to change so this
time my friend is a time where you can really break
(14:55):
free from societal expectations and norms and a lot of those because they're
so embedded in who we are as a culture as a group of people we don't really
know that they're there until it starts to shift and change until midlife starts to happen and as
you start to notice that it's there, that might feel like there's some dissatisfaction
(15:19):
or some regret, or I wish it would stay the same.
But once we accept that this is changing and nothing I'm going to do is going
to alter that fact, then I'm free from it.
I'm free from what held me in society's expectations, free to truly be me.
(15:40):
And I might not know who that is yet.
But this is the task of midlife, is to find this out.
And to do that, we need to break free from our conditioning.
Reason number four is that your brain is going through this incredible upgrade.
As your hormones change and the role of estrogen lessens in your body,
(16:04):
so the estrogen in your body starts declining anywhere from your mid-30s onwards and becomes lower,
estrogen drives emotion.
Estrogen drives caretaking. It is so linked with our emotional beingness that
as this starts to change, the pathways in your brain also start to change.
(16:29):
So your brain is going through an upgrade.
And yes, there are the very uncomfortable symptoms that come along with that
upgrade of perimenopause and early postmenopause, of brain fog,
of loss of confidence, of loss of identity.
There are many, many others. What we are starting to understand is that your
(16:49):
brain is actually going through an upgrade.
It is getting better, more resilient,
stronger, stronger and therefore your psyche and your personality can become
more secure and way more resilient because of this upgrade.
So if you're in the middle of an upgrade, think of it like a renovation that
(17:13):
you might do on your house.
You know, when there's dust flying, things have pulled out, it's a mess and
you're like, oh my God, is this ever going to look good again?
I cannot live here anymore.
And then when the renovation is finished, you look around and you have this
this beautiful new kitchen, living area, bedroom,
bathroom, and this beautiful new space to live in, well, your brain and your
(17:38):
psyche is going through an upgrade, is going through a renovation.
So whilst it might be really messy right now, and you're really not enjoying
living, it's going to get better. It is really going to get better.
So there's a massive opportunity for growth here.
And reason number five is that because of this incredible opportunity that nature
(18:02):
is giving you to upgrade your psyche and your self-concept,
and of course, as a result of that, your life,
any focus that you now do on your personal growth and on your well-being will
gain more traction than if you had done that before.
Prior to perimenopause. Because when the physiology changes because of the hormonal changes,
(18:29):
then of course the brain and the nervous system and then the psychological structure
of who you are can more easily change.
Because change that comes from a closed system,
a settled system system of psychology
is harder to instigate if
(18:51):
everything's going well that's why when challenges
come up in our life we create change around
them if grief happens we grow tremendously from
that or we can do when we go through midlife because the structure's been kind
of torn down in a way because of the hormonal changes and I'm talking psychologically
(19:12):
here then we have this this amazing opportunity for growth that wasn't,
say, there five years ago.
And so any work you do at this time or any personal development that you do,
the results that you'll get from that increase exponentially.
(19:32):
So what I'm saying in simple words is that this is a really profound time for change.
If you want to make those changes, changes if you're
feeling that life is for you
not where you want it to be but you
don't know yet how to create change know that although you don't know how to
(19:54):
create the change that you want you are in the prime time for change in your
adult years and the fact that you want to create change,
that you have an intention for change, growth, and evolution is the spark that
starts that electrical current running through your life.
(20:17):
And this is why we see divorce rates are really high in midlife.
People are ready for change. Now, change doesn't have to mean that you leave your relationship.
It might, and that might be the most powerful life-giving change for the both
of view for you and your partner.
But it doesn't always mean that, of course, because the truth is no one else
(20:41):
is going to prioritize you, your well-being and your growth.
It is going to take you drawing a line in the sand, putting your foot down and saying, no more.
I'm ready for this to change.
No one else is going to give that to you. People do not. We do not.
(21:01):
No one else is going to give that to you. You are going to need to give that to yourself.
And like I said, it doesn't matter if you don't even know what that next step is.
The fact that you create that clear intention for change is enough to get the ball rolling.
When life then opens doors for you, take those changes, take those steps forward
(21:23):
in that direction, even if it seems wobbly and scary and you're not sure where it's going to lead.
Need life responds to us so
when we create a clear intention then doors
start to open and don't do what I
did when I was in my 20s and really unwell with Crohn's disease I waited and
(21:45):
waited until I got sicker and sicker and sicker until I just couldn't function
anymore and my My body could not even get out of bed before I created the change.
Those signals from your body and from your psyche that are calling you forward
for growth and hear them before they get so loud, as mine did when I was sick with Crohn's disease,
(22:09):
that I couldn't do anything else but listen to them.
Grab those signals now and create change in your life now.
And your next step might be
that you write down the areas of your
life that you're unsatisfied with that
you want to create change in and you might
circle two of them you might
(22:31):
circle one of them as a priority and you
might write down underneath that I am ready and
willing to create change in this
area of my life and you might also write down
show me the next steps and life will show
you the next steps all right my friend I hope that has been helpful of inspiration
(22:52):
if you enjoyed the podcast please share it with your friend I so much love hearing
from you when I'm out and about that you've been listening to the podcast or
the episode that you've enjoyed.
It really does feel like we're growing this empowered community.
I thank you for listening and I thank you for just being who you are in the world.
(23:14):
Go well and we'll speak again next week. Hey, thanks for joining me on the podcast.
Really appreciate you. Check out my course where we just go so much deeper than
I can ever do on a podcast over an eight-week period.
The Midlife Upgrade course is a blend of video and learning modules and weekly
live calls where you will discover a roadmap for psychological freedom in midlife.
(23:40):
Check out all the details on my website. I really, really would love to have
you join the course. megancare.co.nz forward slash course.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.