Stop Being Nice: How "Nice" is Hurting Your Mental Health

In this episode, I dig into an idea from Deborah Adele’s The Yamas & Niyamas that completely shifted how I think about kindness: the difference between being nice and being real. We talk about why so many of us default to niceness as a way to keep the peace, avoid conflict, and manage how others see us—especially when we’ve been taught our whole lives that being agreeable makes us good. But beneath the surface, niceness often asks us to hide our truth, disconnect from our needs, and hold back the honesty that real relationships actually require.

Together, we explore how authenticity is a deeper form of kindness, not just to ourselves but to the people we care about. Being real doesn’t have to be harsh; it can be grounded, compassionate, and deeply respectful. I share how pretending, pleasing, and masking create tension in our bodies and distance in our relationships, and how telling the truth—with gentleness—can create more peace than performing ever will. If you’ve been stuck in the trap of “keeping everyone comfortable,” this episode will help you loosen that old pattern and step into a more honest, open, emotionally healthy way of connecting.

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