Welcome to another inspiring episode of Midlife at the Mailbox!
If this is your first time tuning in, we highly recommend starting from the beginning of this season to fully benefit from our step-by-step guide designed to help you rediscover your purpose and passion in midlife. Our episodes build on each other, offering insights and aha moments that will help you take ownership of writing your next chapter.
In this episode, we dive into Step 2 of our journey: exploring your themes and finding ways to reignite your passions. This involves scheduling time for self-reflection, revisiting abandoned hobbies, and immersing yourself in new interests. Whether it's attending a local class, reading a book, or joining a community group, these activities can help you uncover what truly brings you joy and purpose.
We also discuss the importance of sharing your journey with others and being open to new experiences. From reviving old passions like Pilates or pickleball to discovering new interests like grilling or succulents, every step you take brings you closer to becoming the Maven of your midlife.
To assist you on this illuminating journey, we're sharing a valuable resource with our listeners - the Maven Guide. Download the Maven Guide to Accompany you as you listen or watch Season 3.
This guide simplifies the process of breaking down your life stories and charting the course toward becoming the master of your midlife. It's time to perfect the art of becoming a Maven in your Midlife.
Every Monday, catch us LIVE on Instagram @midlifeatthemailbox, where we share our midlife moments. Be sure to follow our show and add us to your favorites so you never miss any of our content.
Before you go, please take a moment to leave us a rating wherever you get your podcasts, and consider sharing our show with your favorite midlife bestie. Positive ratings and shares help more people like you discover our show. Plus, check out our show notes for episode highlights and sign up for our email list to receive our exclusive Maven Guide!
We'd love to hear from you, our amazing Mailbox Listeners. Follow our show on Instagram or Facebook @midlifeatthemailbox, or send us a message in our DMs. You can also follow Amy @amplifybya2 and Denyse (that's Denyse with a Y, thanks Mom!) @DenyseRabbat. Your feedback is always appreciated.
See you at the Mailbox!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hi, thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Midlife at the Mailbox.
I'm Amy Alexander, and on the other mic is Denise Rabat.
Over nine years ago, during a chance meeting at our neighborhood mailbox,
two strangers met and a new friendship blossomed into something bigger.
Although we no longer share a mailbox, and while we may have many miles between
(00:22):
us, we're closer than ever in real life. This chance meeting in our neighborhood
mailbox inspired a friendship, a business relationship, and three seasons of a podcast.
Welcome, Midlife Maven. If this is your first episode, tuning into our podcast,
we're so thrilled you found us.
(00:43):
And we highly recommend starting this journey with us at the very beginning.
You see, we have designed this season specifically to guide you step-by-step
to rediscover your purpose and passion in order to fully blossom as a Maven in your midlife.
Therefore, we encourage you to pause right here and hop back to episode one
so that you could follow the progressive roadmap we have created just for you over the coming shows.
(01:07):
Rest assured, the insights and aha moments in every episode will compound to
help you take ownership of writing your next chapter.
Simply search for Midlife at the Mailbox to start at our origin story or click
on the very first episode of Season 3 under our podcast name.
Get ready to transform how you approach your midlife and beyond.
(01:27):
Now, let's assume you completed Step 1 with a partner and now you've got two
to three themes from sharing your origin story with that partner that you're
really, really stoked to explore.
That was a hard step you just completed if you did it, right?
Or if you're thinking about doing it, knowing that once you get to step two,
there's a little bit of fun.
There is a fun. There is a fun. There is fun.
(01:50):
We always like to spice in a little fun. This doesn't have to feel clinical.
This shouldn't feel clinical, to be honest. It should be fun. We like fun. F-U-N.
By spelling fun, it makes it way more fun.
So what do you do with it, right? Like, and this is really can be the fun part
(02:10):
of your journey, right, Amy?
Yeah. I mean, this is where you can try things, you know, get.
Connect with people. Get uncomfortable and to get comfortable.
A lot of times that is necessary and it's not always fun, but it can lead to
really productive things along the way.
So how do you go about doing this, right? Right? Yes, Denise,
tell us. How do you do this?
(02:33):
So a lot of this, this is the next, this is still part of what I would consider
thinking work, but it's a little bit more, you know, interactive as well.
So the inevitable thinking work, right? The internal work, right?
So first and foremost, I highly encourage you to schedule time with yourself
to think about these things.
Put 15 minutes on your phone calendar twice a week.
(02:56):
And by putting in your calendar really makes it a little bit more real,
right? A little bit more visible, trying to make that invisible visible.
That's really what this process is all about.
So by doing this and having this alone time, it could even be in your car right
before you start your commute for the day.
And really think about where you best think. Do you think well in the shower?
(03:19):
Do you think well, as you're saying, in your car?
Are you a runner and you think best when you're on
the the trail you know that could also be
like instead of maybe separate times since time is so you
know as time is so precious maybe even you know
combining you know the one thing that like gets you
in the flow right or when you feel most like in your natural state where you
(03:44):
can really think about and reflect and have awareness and so by putting your
you know some time aside on your phone twice a week was what I'd say to get
you going especially in those earlier days when you're You know,
you just you're really excited because you did that partner exercise and now
you've got some things you want to action to do some action about. So I do that.
And think about when you're self-reflecting, you know, especially coming out of those themes.
(04:08):
What moments have brought you joy, pride and purpose along the way when you
were doing those things or thinking about those things?
You know, what values come out of that? What matters most to you?
What are what are where your best thinking times?
Times how do you schedule that time me yeah
personally i would say it's after i
(04:30):
drop my kids weekdays after i drop my kids off at school
there is a lull in the day it's a quiet time
i i can do that a lot of times i meditate during that time but lately i mean
i should be doing some more meditating but i have been spending more time on
my business so that self-reflection time that i dedicate and carve out during
that after drop-off time monday through friday has has really helped me to get more focused.
(04:55):
Yeah, ungrowing, ungrowing DR. Yeah, I'm DR Denise from Rock Career Coaching.
And, you know, just spending more time on fine-tuning my process and my audience
and thinking that through.
But, of course, I've done the Find Your Why a couple different times in my life.
So this is not the first time I'm doing it.
I mean, I did it back in 2008 when I was working in sales operations and sales communications.
(05:20):
And I said, I can't do this forever.
It's not that interesting. I liked it, but it wasn't that interesting.
I love the people I work with. The company I worked with was really supportive
and allowed me to grow. But I kept thinking people always ask me to help them on their resume.
Or my brother's always calling me asking me about how interview tips or like,
even in 2008, LinkedIn was in its nascent stages.
(05:42):
But, you know, should I get on LinkedIn? What should I do?
And and so I thought, what if I studied that?
And I did that. And you know, it didn't look as clean as I'm telling you in this neat exercise.
But, you know, I was finding my why a bit clumsily, but I did.
And so I ended up getting my master's, having my company pay for my master's.
(06:04):
So they did reimburse me to get my master's in career counseling,
San Jose State, which was completely opposite of what I was doing,
but just goes to show that I asked and I was a good employee,
I think, and they delivered and I did.
I got my master's paid for. Through multiple rounds of labs,
you kept your job. So there you go.
I survived that. So at any rate, just finding some time to think about that
(06:26):
and really putting some purpose with that. Time is important.
Or even just start meditating if you want to during that time.
But it's you time and then you kind of get used to carving that out for yourself.
But that's what I'd say, you know, as you start to explore.
You know, it could even be reviving an abandoned passion. anything like that
could really be. Yeah, I've started pre-COVID. I did.
(06:49):
I love Pilates Reformer. And so pre-COVID, I did a ton of Pilates Reformer.
There was a great studio that opened near the house and then they went they
went virtual. I'm like, well, I'm not doing Pilates virtually.
And that was definitely not happening. I'm just going to walk if I can like leave my house.
And recently I've rediscovered a great local studio.
(07:10):
So I've got back on the reformer. And, you know, even after being gone for a
few days, you know, knowing that like when I get back into town and then,
you know, like the next day after I travel, like it's always like, you know, a crazy day.
I still put it on the calendar to go. I'm like, you know, we're going to be
walking a lot. We're going to be eating. I'm hooked.
And so it was on the calendar for Friday to go. And I'm super excited to be
(07:33):
there. But there's just certain things. It's so hard, but it like.
Makes it's just like a great workout and it just and i
feel better you like it yeah i mean i tried my first reformer class
recently tina williams over in fresno has a
great little studio she's a former speaker at the
women's conference with me reform pilates if we're you know if we're doing these
(07:54):
shout outs and we'll and we'll met illinois but yeah i mean so there's that
so reviving those old passions just kind of getting you like you know time for
you and a lot of times that just allows you to think more about like,
why is it you're here? What do you want to do?
What was I made for? Right. Which is that famous like line that speaks to my
(08:15):
soul from the Billie Eilish, from the Barbie movie and the Billie Eilish song.
I mean, it's a beautiful song for many reasons.
Not only is it performed beautifully, but the lyrics just, oh,
they dig deep. They just get you. They dig deep.
But, you know, I think we went a little deep there. However,
time with yourself, number one.
Number two would be to research this idea or topic or interest that you have online, right?
(08:41):
And learn more about it. And there's so many ways to learn more about this.
Whether it's through books.
So, you know, pick up a book at your, pick up a book about this topic.
The library is a really amazing resource.
Yeah, we've all been using our libraries more. And that might sound like, you know, very 1989.
However, libraries have modernized. Yes. And there's so There are so many,
(09:04):
many opportunities at your local library.
I know in our area, they have multiple programs that go on each quarter.
They bring in speakers. I've spoken.
You can learn so, so, so much.
And it costs you zero dollars, except for, you know, at least in our area,
it's the taxpayer money that you're paying for your library.
(09:26):
But there's no, right, there's no fee to use.
There's no out-of-pocket, essentially, fee to use your library.
And their online resources, you know,
Direct a lot of clients for LinkedIn. Ton of untapped resources.
There's great marketing resources. Most public libraries in major cities that
I've seen, New York, Los Angeles,
they offer LinkedIn Learning, for example, as a free service on if you,
(09:50):
you know, if you go online and set up for an online account through your library,
which is also, you know, it's no charge.
You can get LinkedIn Learning, which actually has a cost on LinkedIn.
So job seekers out there, people that want to learn more about a topic,
whether it's about a particular industry or career change or any topic really.
Like you can go on LinkedIn Learning and get these, you know,
(10:12):
these sessions for free through your library from an expert.
Yep. They also offer if you are a small business and you are looking for like
small business coaching.
I know my library in Glenview, they offer there's small business coaches that
will work with you for free.
So if you're in a position that you can't afford to work with somebody,
(10:32):
there are people out there that you can schedule time with and work with.
One of the coolest classes, if I could say cool about a class I took at the
library, but it really was, it was all about how you can, the databases,
like if you're a business owner and you are looking to send a mail piece and
you don't want to use one of the direct mail service companies,
(10:55):
You actually there are lists that you can tap into in this.
They're the same lists and databases that you can get that these guys use,
you know, that you have to pay, you know, hundreds of dollars for thousands of dollars for.
And so there's so many, so many opportunities that you can tap into. to within the library.
(11:17):
Or even books, right? I mean, we talk a lot about Simon Sinek's book.
I know 100% for sure, since it's like so widely published, that everyone can
get a free copy or a digital copy through their library.
So finding your why or starting with why by Simon Sinek, which really is the,
you know, the base for what we're talking about here and how to become the maven
of your midlife can be found there. So, yeah.
(11:38):
So I highly encourage that. And then, of course, you know, looking at community
groups and events, just immersing yourself, right?
It Like maybe if you are interested in, like for example, my aunt is a.
Is the president or vice president, I don't know this year, but she's the vice
president of her local succulent club.
She loves succulents. So the Fresno chapter of their succulent society, she is the president.
(12:04):
She started this kind of as she was preparing to retire.
She was a social worker in the state of California for, I don't know, 30 plus years.
And she was thinking about what she's going to do in her next third of her life.
And so she started to get more involved in that and that gives her a
lot of purpose she does all sorts of competitions and
events and it gives her community so and even the
(12:24):
space that we're in here i learned as as
we were kind of getting acclimated this morning scott's it's
like it's called hub studio but the space is like owned by a guy that does something
through an organization called scottsdale living and they work and train small
businesses on like content and email so there's very you know anywhere that
(12:46):
you are like like dig into like your resources.
And, you know, it's that other piece of having that conversation,
you know, become comfortable with being uncomfortable.
So like, if you are doing something, you need to tell people what it is that
you're doing so that people know how they could help and support you.
So the more that you talk about what it is that you're doing or looking to do,
(13:07):
the more opportunities, because people do genuinely, at least I know,
I'm in this camp, like genuinely want people to be successful And want people
to find and to and to achieve like greatness within their life.
So if I have resources that I know, even, you know, my therapist would joke
like, you know, you help sometimes too much that like it's like not a detriment.
(13:29):
She would kill me if I like said that, but like not a detriment, but like over helping.
But that's just me. That's just my personality. Like I want to be,
you know, I want to be helpful. And we touch a lot about that in the next episode.
You'll learn about step three, which is about getting social and getting support.
But, you know, step two can even just start as something is attending the class.
(13:51):
Like you don't have to become the vice president of the Succulent Club.
And I'm sure my aunt did not do that. She's a listener.
I'm sure she did not do that at first. She might have just attended a club meeting
or like watched a virtual recording of a meeting of the Succulent Society at first.
But at least, you know, she could go, now you could go buy that succulent and
know what to do to care for it.
(14:13):
And seeing if she, you know, if she likes it. So those are just some things.
I mean, we're already talking about revisiting hobbies and creative outlets
or career dreams that you had kind of set aside over the years.
I mean, midlife is classic for that.
You know, when you become sandwiched, right, which we've talked a lot about,
like, you know, when you're taking care of others, whether it's elders or younger
(14:33):
children or people, you often kind of forget or forget.
Your needs and wants and dreams might have been put to the wayside because you
are busy caretaking or caregiving.
And so this could be a time to revisit that because we talked about if not now, when?
And that is ultimately true. It's now. It's just starting now and even just a small step.
(14:57):
But maybe you would go to a succulent meeting and you're like, it's not for me.
But at least you tried and you knew and you could kind of check off succulents. Not for me.
Right. Not for me. Mike and I always joke about like the bucket list thing.
So what did we do? Oh, last, when we were in LA over, over the new year,
we went to the Rose Bowl, like the float.
(15:18):
So like after the Rose Bowl, they like put all the floats on display and it's really cool.
I would go back because I enjoy flowers and I enjoy looking at that.
But my boys were like, check, we did that.
So, but if you don't go and experience it that you, you don't know.
And that's, that's the big piece here is that, you know, put yourself out there,
get yourself a little uncomfortable.
And, you know, I think the other piece is, is that these steps,
(15:42):
you know, finding your why, finding your purpose in midlife doesn't necessarily
always just have to be career or, you know, business driven.
You know, there's certainly components of that in both of what we're talking
about, but it also could just be in discovering like a new passion.
Over Christmas, I started playing pickleball for the first time.
Everybody's talking about pickleball. And I'm like, what the heck is so great about pickleball?
(16:06):
But a month later for my birthday, I had my own pickleball racket and hot pink
balls for A2, hot pink pickleballs for A2 sales and marketing because it was just super, super fun.
And now it's another thing that like I can do and enjoy with my family and even
friends, part of my networking group.
That's going to be a really, I feel like a big thing, you know,
(16:29):
going, you know, progressing that into the springtime and summer in Chicago
is that the weather will be fine and beautiful that we could get out and play pickle.
Sure. You believe that. I do believe that. It will be. It was 65 degrees like two days ago.
And then there were tornadoes and it was 25.
If you guys forgot, I lived in Chicago for 16 months, but I've been a native Californian.
(16:51):
And I will say there was one month out of the year with good weather. That was September.
That was it. She was there like a year and a half, like through the winter.
I gave the weather a hard time.
It actually has been very mild. But anyways, you didn't come here for the weather.
But I will say like the pickle, going back to my pickleball piece is that that
is something that besides my family, I can play.
(17:13):
There's a number of ladies that are friends in my community,
like from my son's hockey team that I've discovered like to play and a bunch
of ladies from my networking group that are very much enjoy.
So when you have these people in your corner that, you know,
beyond just, you know, from like the work, but maybe in life they could start
to like support, they are interested in, you know, meeting you on the court.
(17:37):
And it's just another way to continue to build layers and get to know people.
Right. And just to look for that more feeling of alive or thriving.
And, you know, a lot of times my coaching clients will come to me and say,
you know, they feel like the job is the reason that there might not be so many
people might not be feeling, you know, completely fulfilled or unhappy or unsatisfied, dissatisfied.
(18:00):
And I mean, that could be the case.
However, when you do the finding your why exercise, you might be able to complement
other areas of your life outside of your job and not always looking for your
profession or your like as your vocation as a form of joy or fulfillment.
And maybe if you could fill in some of your other time with like Like playing
(18:22):
pickleball because it feeds your competitive nature or your need for socialization
or you need to connect with your spouse or like, hey, you could play with your mom.
Like my mom's a big pickleball player. Yeah, my mom is too.
My mom's like never played a sport before. She loves pickleball.
She has a license plate holder and everything. Oh, I love pickle. She's big time.
Like, but I, you know, she goes out and she wants to do that.
(18:45):
I've never seen that side of my mom.
That's amazing. Yeah. My mom's picking up golf again. But I mean,
so I sometimes, depending on the coaching client, I mean, if you come to me
about a resume, I'm not going to tell you to play pickleball.
However, if you came to me saying, like, I'm just not feeling,
you know, that my job is providing that for me.
Sometimes if I can break down some layers or find out what really that is,
(19:07):
they might not be that unhappy with their job or that their job isn't necessarily
their career isn't what stoking that unhappiness.
It could be just that maybe they're not balanced enough and their work life
balanced out of place. So how can we revisit that?
And while that might sound more like life coaching, sometimes that can come into play when we are.
And, you know, so I, you know, I think that doing some of these steps and doing
(19:29):
some of this exploration and this you time allows you to be a student of you.
And that's the midlife you. Yes. Okay.
So that's what we're really talking about here, right? Taking stock and note
of what moves you, what motivates you, what delights you. I love that word.
Yes. And I would say that the same, you know, being that student of view is
(19:51):
the same as like what you could be doing in terms of like the content development
for like a particular business or what you want to put out about yourself. Right.
So, you know, if you're younger and you're listening, you know,
and you spent decades putting your drinking pictures up on the Internet and,
you know, they're still they're following around.
I'm so sorry. But, you know, what you could start to do is showcase what you
(20:14):
do outside of outside of your work, because your work should not be the only
thing that's bringing you purpose in your life.
And so finding things that do fulfill that vitality in your life and do make
you feel full is something that obviously, as we've talked about for three seasons,
is something that's super important.
Yeah. And I mean, that goes to be true, too, about your professional brand.
(20:38):
Like on LinkedIn, for example, like there's some people that this one gentleman
I worked with, he worked in telecom customer support.
So cable, like basically cable service, in-home cable service,
customer support, almost his entire career.
He was laid off after 30 years of a longtime career. And he really didn't know what to do with himself.
He needed to find another job. and we were working on his brand,
(21:02):
like what he was really good at.
And, you know, he's like, I used
to, you know, we're talking all about his customer service and mentoring.
And then he's like, he shared with me that he would, he had a green egg barbecue.
You know, those specialized barbecues or green egg. And he was like, he's a master griller.
And what he would do for his team, because a lot of times people that install
cable services, this might've been their first job out of high school,
(21:23):
or, you know, they come from differing backgrounds and he would bring them all
together with these barbecues, okay? in Northern California.
And he really felt that was an equalizer. He would invite their families and
he learned so much about his employees and was able to mentor them in a different way.
And so I said, well, why are we putting this on your LinkedIn profile?
(21:46):
He's like, well, does it really matter? And I was like, of course it does. This is so cool.
What other customer support managers or supervisors are doing this? And you know what he did?
And I don't coach him anymore. He's moved on and now he's installing solar panels
and supervising teams of solar panels out in different states.
He's had to kind of improvise his career path.
(22:07):
However, he still talks about his grilling and the lessons that he learned from
grilling and that he imparts with his grilling to his team.
And so I just thought that's super neat.
And there's so many life lessons. And I mean, never before has that been acceptable,
but it's so acceptable now.
Employers want to know about that. And so you've got to dig down,
get back to, you know, the step two exploration, find out, you know,
(22:30):
what is, you know, similar to grilling, what's your grilling story, right?
What is, what, what does that mean to you?
So like finding these passions outside of like your work purpose.
It just makes you a more interesting person and gives you things that you could
have a conversation about and talk about and to connect with other people about.
(22:50):
Yeah. And so that's really, you know, really what we want, you know,
in this step, we want you to like encourage you to do that and to learn more about you.
And this is a little bit more of a fun way to do it, right?
And so I'd say that. So, you know, here at The Mailbox, we're all about,
you know, how you can take that next step in exploring this.
(23:12):
Your why and becoming that maven of your midlife. So the next step in the guide
that we've, you know, that you've hopefully downloaded, if not for the first
episode, that now you will download can be done at our website,
of course, midlifeatthemailbox.com and check out our free,
that download and step two specifically is going to be, there's gonna be a section
(23:35):
there where you can talk about ways that, oh, excuse me, in step two of the guide,
you'll find tips as well as like a summary of what we talked about today,
different ways that you can explore and research. So you'll have those notes.
And then you'll also have a section where you can just jot down some of these
research methods that you might want to try, right? Do you want to attend a class?
(23:57):
Do you want to study something?
Do you want to read a book? Just write two reasons or two things that you want
research methods that you want to do in your journey of becoming the midlife maven.
And write those down because when you make something invisible visible, it's so powerful.
So you'll have some time there to jot those down in this next step of this process.
(24:23):
So lastly, if you wanna reach out on social too,
you could comment guide on any of our posts or any of our social channels at
midlifeatthemailbox on Instagram or amplifiedbyA2withAmy and at deniserobot
on Instagram for both of us.
And we will send you that guide right away and thanks amy this was fun this was fun.
(24:46):
And we'll see you next week. Bye-bye. Bye. That's a wrap for this week's step
on becoming a Maven in your midlife.
Throughout this season, our goal is to provide you with actionable tips on becoming
the expert of your own midlife journey.
We hope this episode leaves you feeling encouraged and full of positive energy.
Every Monday, catch us live on Instagram at midlifeatthemailbox,
(25:10):
where we share our midlife moments. Be sure to follow our show and add us to
your favorites so you never miss any of our content.
Hold up, wait. Before you go, please take a moment to leave us a rating wherever
you get your podcasts and consider sharing our show with your favorite midlife bestie.
Positive ratings and shares help more people like you discover our show.
(25:31):
Please check out our show notes for episode highlights and sign up for our email
list to receive our exclusive Maven guide.
We'd love to hear from you, our amazing Mailbox family.
Follow our show on Instagram or Facebook at Midlife at the Mailbox or send us a message in our DMs.
You can follow Amy directly at Amplify by A2 and Denise, that's Denise with
(25:54):
a Y, thanks mom, at Denise Rabat.
Your feedback is always appreciated. See you at the Mailbox.
Hi, thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Midlife at the Mailbox.
I'm Amy Alexander, and on the other mic is Denise Rabat.
Over nine years ago, during a chance meeting at our neighborhood mailbox,
two strangers met and a new friendship blossomed into something bigger.
Although we no longer share a mailbox, and while we may have many miles between
(00:22):
us, we're closer than ever in real life. This chance meeting in our neighborhood
mailbox inspired a friendship, a business relationship, and three seasons of a podcast.
Welcome, Midlife Maven. If this is your first episode, tuning into our podcast,
we're so thrilled you found us.
(00:43):
And we highly recommend starting this journey with us at the very beginning.
You see, we have designed this season specifically to guide you step-by-step
to rediscover your purpose and passion in order to fully blossom as a Maven in your midlife.
Therefore, we encourage you to pause right here and hop back to episode one
so that you could follow the progressive roadmap we have created just for you over the coming shows.
(01:07):
Rest assured, the insights and aha moments in every episode will compound to
help you take ownership of writing your next chapter.
Simply search for Midlife at the Mailbox to start at our origin story or click
on the very first episode of Season 3 under our podcast name.
Get ready to transform how you approach your midlife and beyond.
(01:27):
Now, let's assume you completed Step 1 with a partner and now you've got two
to three themes from sharing your origin story with that partner that you're
really, really stoked to explore.
That was a hard step you just completed if you did it, right?
Or if you're thinking about doing it, knowing that once you get to step two,
there's a little bit of fun.
There is a fun. There is a fun. There is fun.
(01:50):
We always like to spice in a little fun. This doesn't have to feel clinical.
This shouldn't feel clinical, to be honest. It should be fun. We like fun. F-U-N.
By spelling fun, it makes it way more fun.
So what do you do with it, right? Like, and this is really can be the fun part
(02:10):
of your journey, right, Amy?
Yeah. I mean, this is where you can try things, you know, get.
Connect with people. Get uncomfortable and to get comfortable.
A lot of times that is necessary and it's not always fun, but it can lead to
really productive things along the way.
So how do you go about doing this, right? Right? Yes, Denise,
tell us. How do you do this?
(02:33):
So a lot of this, this is the next, this is still part of what I would consider
thinking work, but it's a little bit more, you know, interactive as well.
So the inevitable thinking work, right? The internal work, right?
So first and foremost, I highly encourage you to schedule time with yourself
to think about these things.
Put 15 minutes on your phone calendar twice a week.
(02:56):
And by putting in your calendar really makes it a little bit more real,
right? A little bit more visible, trying to make that invisible visible.
That's really what this process is all about.
So by doing this and having this alone time, it could even be in your car right
before you start your commute for the day.
And really think about where you best think. Do you think well in the shower?
(03:19):
Do you think well, as you're saying, in your car?
Are you a runner and you think best when you're on
the the trail you know that could also be
like instead of maybe separate times since time is so you
know as time is so precious maybe even you know
combining you know the one thing that like gets you
in the flow right or when you feel most like in your natural state where you
(03:44):
can really think about and reflect and have awareness and so by putting your
you know some time aside on your phone twice a week was what I'd say to get
you going especially in those earlier days when you're You know,
you just you're really excited because you did that partner exercise and now
you've got some things you want to action to do some action about. So I do that.
And think about when you're self-reflecting, you know, especially coming out of those themes.
(04:08):
What moments have brought you joy, pride and purpose along the way when you
were doing those things or thinking about those things?
You know, what values come out of that? What matters most to you?
What are what are where your best thinking times?
Times how do you schedule that time me yeah
personally i would say it's after i
(04:30):
drop my kids weekdays after i drop my kids off at school
there is a lull in the day it's a quiet time
i i can do that a lot of times i meditate during that time but lately i mean
i should be doing some more meditating but i have been spending more time on
my business so that self-reflection time that i dedicate and carve out during
that after drop-off time monday through friday has has really helped me to get more focused.
(04:55):
Yeah, ungrowing, ungrowing DR. Yeah, I'm DR Denise from Rock Career Coaching.
And, you know, just spending more time on fine-tuning my process and my audience
and thinking that through.
But, of course, I've done the Find Your Why a couple different times in my life.
So this is not the first time I'm doing it.
I mean, I did it back in 2008 when I was working in sales operations and sales communications.
(05:20):
And I said, I can't do this forever.
It's not that interesting. I liked it, but it wasn't that interesting.
I love the people I work with. The company I worked with was really supportive
and allowed me to grow. But I kept thinking people always ask me to help them on their resume.
Or my brother's always calling me asking me about how interview tips or like,
even in 2008, LinkedIn was in its nascent stages.
(05:42):
But, you know, should I get on LinkedIn? What should I do?
And and so I thought, what if I studied that?
And I did that. And you know, it didn't look as clean as I'm telling you in this neat exercise.
But, you know, I was finding my why a bit clumsily, but I did.
And so I ended up getting my master's, having my company pay for my master's.
(06:04):
So they did reimburse me to get my master's in career counseling,
San Jose State, which was completely opposite of what I was doing,
but just goes to show that I asked and I was a good employee,
I think, and they delivered and I did.
I got my master's paid for. Through multiple rounds of labs,
you kept your job. So there you go.
I survived that. So at any rate, just finding some time to think about that
(06:26):
and really putting some purpose with that. Time is important.
Or even just start meditating if you want to during that time.
But it's you time and then you kind of get used to carving that out for yourself.
But that's what I'd say, you know, as you start to explore.
You know, it could even be reviving an abandoned passion. anything like that
could really be. Yeah, I've started pre-COVID. I did.
(06:49):
I love Pilates Reformer. And so pre-COVID, I did a ton of Pilates Reformer.
There was a great studio that opened near the house and then they went they
went virtual. I'm like, well, I'm not doing Pilates virtually.
And that was definitely not happening. I'm just going to walk if I can like leave my house.
And recently I've rediscovered a great local studio.
(07:10):
So I've got back on the reformer. And, you know, even after being gone for a
few days, you know, knowing that like when I get back into town and then,
you know, like the next day after I travel, like it's always like, you know, a crazy day.
I still put it on the calendar to go. I'm like, you know, we're going to be
walking a lot. We're going to be eating. I'm hooked.
And so it was on the calendar for Friday to go. And I'm super excited to be
(07:33):
there. But there's just certain things. It's so hard, but it like.
Makes it's just like a great workout and it just and i
feel better you like it yeah i mean i tried my first reformer class
recently tina williams over in fresno has a
great little studio she's a former speaker at the
women's conference with me reform pilates if we're you know if we're doing these
(07:54):
shout outs and we'll and we'll met illinois but yeah i mean so there's that
so reviving those old passions just kind of getting you like you know time for
you and a lot of times that just allows you to think more about like,
why is it you're here? What do you want to do?
What was I made for? Right. Which is that famous like line that speaks to my
(08:15):
soul from the Billie Eilish, from the Barbie movie and the Billie Eilish song.
I mean, it's a beautiful song for many reasons.
Not only is it performed beautifully, but the lyrics just, oh,
they dig deep. They just get you. They dig deep.
But, you know, I think we went a little deep there. However,
time with yourself, number one.
Number two would be to research this idea or topic or interest that you have online, right?
(08:41):
And learn more about it. And there's so many ways to learn more about this.
Whether it's through books.
So, you know, pick up a book at your, pick up a book about this topic.
The library is a really amazing resource.
Yeah, we've all been using our libraries more. And that might sound like, you know, very 1989.
However, libraries have modernized. Yes. And there's so There are so many,
(09:04):
many opportunities at your local library.
I know in our area, they have multiple programs that go on each quarter.
They bring in speakers. I've spoken.
You can learn so, so, so much.
And it costs you zero dollars, except for, you know, at least in our area,
it's the taxpayer money that you're paying for your library.
(09:26):
But there's no, right, there's no fee to use.
There's no out-of-pocket, essentially, fee to use your library.
And their online resources, you know,
Direct a lot of clients for LinkedIn. Ton of untapped resources.
There's great marketing resources. Most public libraries in major cities that
I've seen, New York, Los Angeles,
they offer LinkedIn Learning, for example, as a free service on if you,
(09:50):
you know, if you go online and set up for an online account through your library,
which is also, you know, it's no charge.
You can get LinkedIn Learning, which actually has a cost on LinkedIn.
So job seekers out there, people that want to learn more about a topic,
whether it's about a particular industry or career change or any topic really.
Like you can go on LinkedIn Learning and get these, you know,
(10:12):
these sessions for free through your library from an expert.
Yep. They also offer if you are a small business and you are looking for like
small business coaching.
I know my library in Glenview, they offer there's small business coaches that
will work with you for free.
So if you're in a position that you can't afford to work with somebody,
(10:32):
there are people out there that you can schedule time with and work with.
One of the coolest classes, if I could say cool about a class I took at the
library, but it really was, it was all about how you can, the databases,
like if you're a business owner and you are looking to send a mail piece and
you don't want to use one of the direct mail service companies,
(10:55):
You actually there are lists that you can tap into in this.
They're the same lists and databases that you can get that these guys use,
you know, that you have to pay, you know, hundreds of dollars for thousands of dollars for.
And so there's so many, so many opportunities that you can tap into. to within the library.
(11:17):
Or even books, right? I mean, we talk a lot about Simon Sinek's book.
I know 100% for sure, since it's like so widely published, that everyone can
get a free copy or a digital copy through their library.
So finding your why or starting with why by Simon Sinek, which really is the,
you know, the base for what we're talking about here and how to become the maven
of your midlife can be found there. So, yeah.
(11:38):
So I highly encourage that. And then, of course, you know, looking at community
groups and events, just immersing yourself, right?
It Like maybe if you are interested in, like for example, my aunt is a.
Is the president or vice president, I don't know this year, but she's the vice
president of her local succulent club.
She loves succulents. So the Fresno chapter of their succulent society, she is the president.
(12:04):
She started this kind of as she was preparing to retire.
She was a social worker in the state of California for, I don't know, 30 plus years.
And she was thinking about what she's going to do in her next third of her life.
And so she started to get more involved in that and that gives her a
lot of purpose she does all sorts of competitions and
events and it gives her community so and even the
(12:24):
space that we're in here i learned as as
we were kind of getting acclimated this morning scott's it's
like it's called hub studio but the space is like owned by a guy that does something
through an organization called scottsdale living and they work and train small
businesses on like content and email so there's very you know anywhere that
(12:46):
you are like like dig into like your resources.
And, you know, it's that other piece of having that conversation,
you know, become comfortable with being uncomfortable.
So like, if you are doing something, you need to tell people what it is that
you're doing so that people know how they could help and support you.
So the more that you talk about what it is that you're doing or looking to do,
(13:07):
the more opportunities, because people do genuinely, at least I know,
I'm in this camp, like genuinely want people to be successful And want people
to find and to and to achieve like greatness within their life.
So if I have resources that I know, even, you know, my therapist would joke
like, you know, you help sometimes too much that like it's like not a detriment.
(13:29):
She would kill me if I like said that, but like not a detriment, but like over helping.
But that's just me. That's just my personality. Like I want to be,
you know, I want to be helpful. And we touch a lot about that in the next episode.
You'll learn about step three, which is about getting social and getting support.
But, you know, step two can even just start as something is attending the class.
(13:51):
Like you don't have to become the vice president of the Succulent Club.
And I'm sure my aunt did not do that. She's a listener.
I'm sure she did not do that at first. She might have just attended a club meeting
or like watched a virtual recording of a meeting of the Succulent Society at first.
But at least, you know, she could go, now you could go buy that succulent and
know what to do to care for it.
(14:13):
And seeing if she, you know, if she likes it. So those are just some things.
I mean, we're already talking about revisiting hobbies and creative outlets
or career dreams that you had kind of set aside over the years.
I mean, midlife is classic for that.
You know, when you become sandwiched, right, which we've talked a lot about,
like, you know, when you're taking care of others, whether it's elders or younger
(14:33):
children or people, you often kind of forget or forget.
Your needs and wants and dreams might have been put to the wayside because you
are busy caretaking or caregiving.
And so this could be a time to revisit that because we talked about if not now, when?
And that is ultimately true. It's now. It's just starting now and even just a small step.
(14:57):
But maybe you would go to a succulent meeting and you're like, it's not for me.
But at least you tried and you knew and you could kind of check off succulents. Not for me.
Right. Not for me. Mike and I always joke about like the bucket list thing.
So what did we do? Oh, last, when we were in LA over, over the new year,
we went to the Rose Bowl, like the float.
(15:18):
So like after the Rose Bowl, they like put all the floats on display and it's really cool.
I would go back because I enjoy flowers and I enjoy looking at that.
But my boys were like, check, we did that.
So, but if you don't go and experience it that you, you don't know.
And that's, that's the big piece here is that, you know, put yourself out there,
get yourself a little uncomfortable.
And, you know, I think the other piece is, is that these steps,
(15:42):
you know, finding your why, finding your purpose in midlife doesn't necessarily
always just have to be career or, you know, business driven.
You know, there's certainly components of that in both of what we're talking
about, but it also could just be in discovering like a new passion.
Over Christmas, I started playing pickleball for the first time.
Everybody's talking about pickleball. And I'm like, what the heck is so great about pickleball?
(16:06):
But a month later for my birthday, I had my own pickleball racket and hot pink
balls for A2, hot pink pickleballs for A2 sales and marketing because it was just super, super fun.
And now it's another thing that like I can do and enjoy with my family and even
friends, part of my networking group.
That's going to be a really, I feel like a big thing, you know,
(16:29):
going, you know, progressing that into the springtime and summer in Chicago
is that the weather will be fine and beautiful that we could get out and play pickle.
Sure. You believe that. I do believe that. It will be. It was 65 degrees like two days ago.
And then there were tornadoes and it was 25.
If you guys forgot, I lived in Chicago for 16 months, but I've been a native Californian.
(16:51):
And I will say there was one month out of the year with good weather. That was September.
That was it. She was there like a year and a half, like through the winter.
I gave the weather a hard time.
It actually has been very mild. But anyways, you didn't come here for the weather.
But I will say like the pickle, going back to my pickleball piece is that that
is something that besides my family, I can play.
(17:13):
There's a number of ladies that are friends in my community,
like from my son's hockey team that I've discovered like to play and a bunch
of ladies from my networking group that are very much enjoy.
So when you have these people in your corner that, you know,
beyond just, you know, from like the work, but maybe in life they could start
to like support, they are interested in, you know, meeting you on the court.
(17:37):
And it's just another way to continue to build layers and get to know people.
Right. And just to look for that more feeling of alive or thriving.
And, you know, a lot of times my coaching clients will come to me and say,
you know, they feel like the job is the reason that there might not be so many
people might not be feeling, you know, completely fulfilled or unhappy or unsatisfied, dissatisfied.
(18:00):
And I mean, that could be the case.
However, when you do the finding your why exercise, you might be able to complement
other areas of your life outside of your job and not always looking for your
profession or your like as your vocation as a form of joy or fulfillment.
And maybe if you could fill in some of your other time with like Like playing
(18:22):
pickleball because it feeds your competitive nature or your need for socialization
or you need to connect with your spouse or like, hey, you could play with your mom.
Like my mom's a big pickleball player. Yeah, my mom is too.
My mom's like never played a sport before. She loves pickleball.
She has a license plate holder and everything. Oh, I love pickle. She's big time.
Like, but I, you know, she goes out and she wants to do that.
(18:45):
I've never seen that side of my mom.
That's amazing. Yeah. My mom's picking up golf again. But I mean,
so I sometimes, depending on the coaching client, I mean, if you come to me
about a resume, I'm not going to tell you to play pickleball.
However, if you came to me saying, like, I'm just not feeling,
you know, that my job is providing that for me.
Sometimes if I can break down some layers or find out what really that is,
(19:07):
they might not be that unhappy with their job or that their job isn't necessarily
their career isn't what stoking that unhappiness.
It could be just that maybe they're not balanced enough and their work life
balanced out of place. So how can we revisit that?
And while that might sound more like life coaching, sometimes that can come into play when we are.
And, you know, so I, you know, I think that doing some of these steps and doing
(19:29):
some of this exploration and this you time allows you to be a student of you.
And that's the midlife you. Yes. Okay.
So that's what we're really talking about here, right? Taking stock and note
of what moves you, what motivates you, what delights you. I love that word.
Yes. And I would say that the same, you know, being that student of view is
(19:51):
the same as like what you could be doing in terms of like the content development
for like a particular business or what you want to put out about yourself. Right.
So, you know, if you're younger and you're listening, you know,
and you spent decades putting your drinking pictures up on the Internet and,
you know, they're still they're following around.
I'm so sorry. But, you know, what you could start to do is showcase what you
(20:14):
do outside of outside of your work, because your work should not be the only
thing that's bringing you purpose in your life.
And so finding things that do fulfill that vitality in your life and do make
you feel full is something that obviously, as we've talked about for three seasons,
is something that's super important.
Yeah. And I mean, that goes to be true, too, about your professional brand.
(20:38):
Like on LinkedIn, for example, like there's some people that this one gentleman
I worked with, he worked in telecom customer support.
So cable, like basically cable service, in-home cable service,
customer support, almost his entire career.
He was laid off after 30 years of a longtime career. And he really didn't know what to do with himself.
He needed to find another job. and we were working on his brand,
(21:02):
like what he was really good at.
And, you know, he's like, I used
to, you know, we're talking all about his customer service and mentoring.
And then he's like, he shared with me that he would, he had a green egg barbecue.
You know, those specialized barbecues or green egg. And he was like, he's a master griller.
And what he would do for his team, because a lot of times people that install
cable services, this might've been their first job out of high school,
(21:23):
or, you know, they come from differing backgrounds and he would bring them all
together with these barbecues, okay? in Northern California.
And he really felt that was an equalizer. He would invite their families and
he learned so much about his employees and was able to mentor them in a different way.
And so I said, well, why are we putting this on your LinkedIn profile?
(21:46):
He's like, well, does it really matter? And I was like, of course it does. This is so cool.
What other customer support managers or supervisors are doing this? And you know what he did?
And I don't coach him anymore. He's moved on and now he's installing solar panels
and supervising teams of solar panels out in different states.
He's had to kind of improvise his career path.
(22:07):
However, he still talks about his grilling and the lessons that he learned from
grilling and that he imparts with his grilling to his team.
And so I just thought that's super neat.
And there's so many life lessons. And I mean, never before has that been acceptable,
but it's so acceptable now.
Employers want to know about that. And so you've got to dig down,
get back to, you know, the step two exploration, find out, you know,
(22:30):
what is, you know, similar to grilling, what's your grilling story, right?
What is, what, what does that mean to you?
So like finding these passions outside of like your work purpose.
It just makes you a more interesting person and gives you things that you could
have a conversation about and talk about and to connect with other people about.
(22:50):
Yeah. And so that's really, you know, really what we want, you know,
in this step, we want you to like encourage you to do that and to learn more about you.
And this is a little bit more of a fun way to do it, right?
And so I'd say that. So, you know, here at The Mailbox, we're all about,
you know, how you can take that next step in exploring this.
(23:12):
Your why and becoming that maven of your midlife. So the next step in the guide
that we've, you know, that you've hopefully downloaded, if not for the first
episode, that now you will download can be done at our website,
of course, midlifeatthemailbox.com and check out our free,
that download and step two specifically is going to be, there's gonna be a section
(23:35):
there where you can talk about ways that, oh, excuse me, in step two of the guide,
you'll find tips as well as like a summary of what we talked about today,
different ways that you can explore and research. So you'll have those notes.
And then you'll also have a section where you can just jot down some of these
research methods that you might want to try, right? Do you want to attend a class?
(23:57):
Do you want to study something?
Do you want to read a book? Just write two reasons or two things that you want
research methods that you want to do in your journey of becoming the midlife maven.
And write those down because when you make something invisible visible, it's so powerful.
So you'll have some time there to jot those down in this next step of this process.
(24:23):
So lastly, if you wanna reach out on social too,
you could comment guide on any of our posts or any of our social channels at
midlifeatthemailbox on Instagram or amplifiedbyA2withAmy and at deniserobot
on Instagram for both of us.
And we will send you that guide right away and thanks amy this was fun this was fun.
(24:46):
And we'll see you next week. Bye-bye. Bye. That's a wrap for this week's step
on becoming a Maven in your midlife.
Throughout this season, our goal is to provide you with actionable tips on becoming
the expert of your own midlife journey.
We hope this episode leaves you feeling encouraged and full of positive energy.
Every Monday, catch us live on Instagram at midlifeatthemailbox,
(25:10):
where we share our midlife moments. Be sure to follow our show and add us to
your favorites so you never miss any of our content.
Hold up, wait. Before you go, please take a moment to leave us a rating wherever
you get your podcasts and consider sharing our show with your favorite midlife bestie.
Positive ratings and shares help more people like you discover our show.
(25:31):
Please check out our show notes for episode highlights and sign up for our email
list to receive our exclusive Maven guide.
We'd love to hear from you, our amazing Mailbox family.
Follow our show on Instagram or Facebook at Midlife at the Mailbox or send us a message in our DMs.
You can follow Amy directly at Amplify by A2 and Denise, that's Denise with
(25:54):
a Y, thanks mom, at Denise Rabat.
Your feedback is always appreciated. See you at the Mailbox.
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