June 4, 2024 • 32 mins
Welcome to another episode of Midlife at the Mailbox! Join hosts Amy Alexander and Denyse Rabbat as they continue their journey from a chance meeting at a neighborhood mailbox to a thriving friendship and podcast partnership. This episode marks the third step in their Season 3 roadmap, designed to help you rediscover your purpose and passions in midlife.
In "Step 3: Get Social and Get Support," Amy and Denyse delve into the importance of expanding your social network and seeking support to fully blossom in midlife. Amy shares her personal experiences with networking and stepping out of her comfort zone, while Denyse discusses her career journey and the value of informational interviews and community groups.
Whether you're starting a new business, exploring new career opportunities, or simply looking to connect with like-minded individuals, this episode is packed with actionable tips and inspiring stories to help you take ownership of writing your next chapter. Tune in and get ready to transform how you approach your midlife and beyond!
To assist you on this illuminating journey, we're sharing a valuable resource with our listeners - the Maven Guide. Download the Maven Guide to Accompany you as you listen or watch Season 3.
This guide simplifies the process of breaking down your life stories and charting the course toward becoming the master of your midlife. It's time to perfect the art of becoming a Maven in your Midlife.
Every Monday, catch us LIVE on Instagram @midlifeatthemailbox, where we share our midlife moments. Be sure to follow our show and add us to your favorites so you never miss any of our content.
Before you go, please take a moment to leave us a rating wherever you get your podcasts, and consider sharing our show with your favorite midlife bestie. Positive ratings and shares help more people like you discover our show. Plus, check out our show notes for episode highlights and sign up for our email list to receive our exclusive Maven Guide!
We'd love to hear from you, our amazing Mailbox Listeners. Follow our show on Instagram or Facebook @midlifeatthemailbox, or send us a message in our DMs. You can also follow Amy @amplifybya2 and Denyse (that's Denyse with a Y, thanks Mom!) @DenyseRabbat. Your feedback is always appreciated.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hi, thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Midlife at the Mailbox.
I'm Amy Alexander, and on the other mic is Denise Rabat.
Over nine years ago, during a chance meeting at our neighborhood mailbox,
two strangers met and a new friendship blossomed into something bigger.
Although we no longer share a mailbox, and while we may have many miles between
(00:22):
us, we're closer than ever in real life. This chance meeting in our neighborhood
mailbox inspired a friendship, a business relationship, and three seasons of a podcast.
Welcome, Midlife Maven. This is your first episode tuning into our podcast.
We're so thrilled you found us. We highly recommend, though,
(00:45):
that you start this journey with us at the very beginning of Season 3.
You see, we have designed this season specifically to guide you step-by-step
to rediscovering your purpose and passions in order to fully blossom as a maven in your midlife.
Therefore, we encourage you to pause right here and hop back to Episode 1 so
(01:08):
you can follow the progressive roadmap we have created just for you,
our listeners, over the coming shows.
Rest assured, the insights and aha moments in every episode will compound to
help you take ownership of writing your next chapter.
Simply search for Midlife at the Mailbox to start at our origin story or click
on the very first episode of Season 3 under our podcast name.
(01:31):
Get ready to transform how you approach your midlife and beyond.
So, Amy, here we are. We're at step three.
Get social and get support. Get social. Social, easy.
Sure, it's easy for us, but it's not easy for everybody, right?
I don't think it's easy for everybody. And even getting social in terms of like
(01:54):
this path you're on, right?
And becoming this maven of your midlife. It's just not about being social.
I mean, we can all, if you wanna be social, you can go out with your friends
and have a great time, but that doesn't necessarily equate to like finding that
significance and meaning, right? Correct. Correct.
It equates to doing things that are out of your comfort zone.
(02:15):
And I'm going to start this episode off with a story.
So in my business, I began a series last year that I was trying to do over Instagram
Live, and it's called She E O.
And it's me.
The point of it was me on Instagram Live. was, it was twofold.
(02:39):
So the first piece was I wanted to be able to tap into other people's networks
in order to grow mine, right?
So that's like a networking 101 is you need to network with others so that it
also helps to expand, right, your network and your reach.
And so doing that through social media, doing a live, whether it's a Facebook
(03:02):
live or an Instagram live where you're You're connecting with another person
and their followers is a great way to reach other people.
So I set out to do SheEO and I wanted to do it on Instagram Live.
What I learned, though, at least for me, is that the reach on Instagram Live
as a newer, like my Amplify by H2 account is newer.
(03:23):
It really didn't have the reach that I was going for.
And the individual people that I was interviewing also have a smaller following.
So it wasn't getting amplified as much as I would have hoped.
So I went back to the drawing board and I decided that I was going to record
something side by side with the person that I was interviewing.
(03:44):
And so that was the third episode and it went really great.
And the feedback from this particular woman, Rana, was like,
it really helped her to get out of her comfort zone.
Doing something virtually or even in person, whether having a conversation,
right, about yourself is not something that like comes super easy to her.
(04:09):
And I'm sure it's not something that comes easy to everybody.
I mean, even, you know, oddly, you know, funny enough, like me sitting here
and having this conversation with you, there's like not a, like I'm not nervous about anything, right?
But me standing up even in my networking group in front of, you know,
12 to 15 women and saying like, hi, I'm Amy and I have a marketing business.
(04:30):
I'm like, I forget everything that I do.
It's like the Starbucks, you know, it's like going to Starbucks and like forgetting
the order that you literally order every single time you go.
I'm like, do I like a grande? Do I like a vente?
What the heck is a vente? What the heck is a grande? Like you just like get
like so choked up. Anyway, so I digress.
Part of this step of getting social and is really being able to put Put yourself
(04:54):
out even more so than we talked about in the previous step and making sure that
you are able to get that support.
And so for me, my Amplify coaching, and this is not like a plug for my business,
but like my Amplify coaching,
one of the things that I do and one of the reasons that people work with me,
(05:14):
and I'm sure it's the same as being a business coach, is that you have that
accountability friend.
So, right, if you remember from step one, we talked about finding somebody that you could,
explore your why with, you know, finding somebody that, you know,
Denise and I are super close, but in this exercise, it's finding somebody that
maybe is not your bestie and someone that you don't talk to on the regular.
(05:37):
So somebody, you know, somebody within your office currently,
or somebody that is a friend that you're not super close, maybe somebody from
your kid's sports team or somebody from your religious organization or whatever it might be.
So, you know, I wanted to open with that story because I think it's a really
strong point to show that there are things that we can do that are outside of our comfort zone.
(06:03):
And when you go back and so this is all videoed and you can watch,
there's multiple episodes like you could see it was the same conversation,
though. It wasn't just it wasn't just Rana, right?
It was the other two women that I interviewed. They also were very like it was this.
I need the questions. I, you know, anyways, it just really shows you that like
(06:25):
you could get like you could work to write to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Right. Right. I mean, yeah. And, you know, when we did when we when I designed
this process, these five steps and when we decided to share it with all of you
together and kind of make it podcastable, which was this.
This is like, this is also a really important piece.
(06:46):
Get social and network, right? Be a beginner again.
And it's okay to be a beginner and ask for help and kind of raise your hand and do this.
And, you know, Amy just brought up a shining example of that.
You know, and that's, you know, start easy, right?
I mean, a lot of times, and this is why Amy's kind of taking the lead today
(07:07):
on this one, is because she did a really great job of that in the last few years,
right? really building her business and getting out there.
And, you know, she took a couple of years to, you know, find her why. We did that in 2021.
Her and I worked together, you know, career coaching in 2022.
She was really exploring what was going to be her niche.
(07:27):
You know, she changed her focus of her business a few times.
And now 2023, she really focused on getting out there and getting social for support.
And she really did a great job at that. I mean, thank you. Yeah.
Through your networking groups, you joined.
And I think the first piece, too, is like, how do you find that?
Right. And so I think the piece about getting social is talking to people.
(07:52):
You have to. And this is true whether you are in this process.
Right. If you're going through the Maven steps in this process of getting social
or if you're looking for a job or you have a business is that you need to tell
people what it is that you do.
(08:12):
And you need to tell people over and over and over again to a point where you are sick of hearing it.
That means that you have just scratched the surface of telling people what it is that you do.
Or what you're interested in, right? So like, I mean, let's assume that someone
doesn't know what they actually want to do at this point, because that's why
(08:33):
they're in this, you know, conundrum, right, of finding, becoming a midlife maven.
They don't have it all together. And that's okay. We're not saying we do.
We definitely don't have it all together.
But by asking and kind of sharing, and that could look different for everyone
else. I have a client who's, you know, self-professed introvert, right?
He's just, he has social anxiety, is not super comfortable networking, right?
(08:54):
You know, with this traditional form of, you know, you're at a hotel convention
center and you're out there shaking hands and kissing babies,
and getting your business card out there and you think you're wheeling and dealing
and that's networking, quote-unquote networking.
Traditionally, that most people aren't spending time doing that networking.
They're doing it in different ways. But that's totally uncomfortable for him.
(09:15):
He just, even the thought of that. It's uncomfortable for a lot of people.
The thought of that gives him high.
However, I tried to find something that would be comfortable,
a way to network in person or doing something in small groups or even virtual
webinars that could be a way to quote unquote communicate with people or talk
to people, preferably in person if you can.
(09:37):
And tell people what he does. What could be, yeah, what are you working on? What do you want to do?
Like, even if it's like, hey, I'm looking for a job. Hey, I'm looking for new
opportunities as a nurse.
And I really want to become, you know, a pediatric nurse.
But right now I'm in elder care nursing or whatever that is, right?
So just circulating that and kind of, you know, getting that point across to
(09:59):
people, even if it's your neighbor who's- Yes, but that's the point about getting
social is that it may not seem totally comfortable talking about yourself.
But the other the other piece that I that I found through through these networking,
these networking connections,
right, whether it's a traditional networking group, or we're sitting around
a conference table, and we're learning about a business, and then we're like general chit chat,
(10:22):
or even in like a more socialized setting, is that people also just.
Just if you're not in that situation, don't always like ask you what it is that you do, Right.
It's it's a question that like we don't like come up with.
And Denise is seeing it in real life, like here in Scottsdale,
like we get in the elevator and we're just like we like we like are striking
(10:46):
up conversations with people like everywhere we go.
And, you know, our favorite Scotty's favorite Scotty Scottsdale,
you know, we're like I'm going to like know his whole entire life story by the
time that that we're done here.
Point is, is that like the more that you put yourself out and put yourself into
situations where you like have to, you know, I may never see Scotty Scottsdale
(11:09):
or the man, any of the people in the elevator that we've met before,
but it gives you good practice to like start striking up conversations with
people and starting to get that out of your system.
It's the same with like utilizing social media and recording yourself.
Do you know how many videos I've made Denise do like since we've been here so
that we have this B-roll footage or like a picture that we could post,
(11:32):
like, because we're not together, but we want to, you know, we still want to
be able to promote posts,
you know, as, as the release, it's just, it's doing things that are not,
are outside of your comfort zone.
Absolutely. And I mean, even starting small, right? I mean, we come from a different
comfort level and doing that just naturally, but like, you know,
you can start with asking a trusted friend or a colleague,
(11:53):
a former manager, a former teacher, or a mentor of yours, or just a friend you're
super comfortable with, right?
I mean, just kind of circulate and kind of shop out there what you're doing, right?
Maybe it's like, hey, I want to start an Etsy shop because I want to sell my beaded bracelets.
You know, start asking people, oh, do you know anyone that like has an Etsy shop? Has it worked?
You know, just be a beginner again. Ask a lot of open-ended questions,
(12:17):
not yes or no questions, but just like, how did you do it? What were the challenges?
How did it feel? How long did it take you? Or not even how long,
that even implies some bias.
But like, what was the amount of time it took you to get where you are today?
You know, things like that. Great question. Yeah. So, okay. So my timeline is
(12:37):
a little bit more linear in terms of, okay, I started, I restarted A2 in 2021 after getting laid off.
You know, I'm not going to go through my whole, like my whole,
my whole story right now.
But, you know, like I restarted that journey. You and I started working together
and, you know, we discovered the why. We put things into practice.
We became a student. We're going through all the steps like as we're preaching it right now.
(13:03):
Your story is a little bit different, right? So you went back in 2008 to get your master's degree.
And then what happened? Things kind of stalled out, right? You had babies.
You started your family.
You are, you know, started, right? You started your family, you know.
And then you were still working in this same position.
And then a layoff, the layoff that
(13:25):
you had been anticipating for years and years, finally came to in 2019.
And so there was some exploration of things that you started to do.
So talk to us about your foray into potentially opening up a franchise.
And thankfully, that didn't end up happening because of COVID.
But kind of talk about that journey for you.
(13:45):
Sure. I mean, I like and I like to share this concept or this,
you know, imagery is that careers are like no longer.
It's I think it's dated to think of them like a ladder.
It's more realistic and more palpable to think about them as a jungle gym.
I imagine those jungle gyms at a park like the big ball where you can like,
(14:08):
you know, you can climb over.
The kids can climb over it to the side, to the front. You still get to the top,
but you don't go straight up. It's not an upward trajectory.
It's a bit of can go sideways, linear, and can go up. It could go down even.
And that's really how my career progression has gone.
And just to fast forward to 2008, yeah, I was working sales ops and sales communications
(14:32):
and just wasn't fulfilling as I wanted to be.
So then I embarked on a master's degree in counseling and then career counseling,
and I got it. I obtained it like literally weeks before I had my daughter.
And then I thought, I can't change a career right now. Are you kidding?
I can barely change my clothes.
And so I, you know, I had a great job.
(14:53):
I'm just going to keep on what I'm doing. I'm crazy to be at a remote work in
2011, which was unheard of at the time. This was not 2021.
This was 10 years prior. And so I kept on keeping on. And then,
yes, like fast forward to 2019, I was let go inevitably after 14 years at a
tech company. And, you know, it was a good, it was, it was an opportunity and
it was a great way to kind of spread my wings.
(15:15):
And so that's when I, but I didn't know quite what I was doing.
I wasn't necessarily already thinking career coaching, actually.
Just complete spoiler alert. I first, you know, my husband and I were interested
in starting a franchise.
We thought that that we wanted to be entrepreneurs and wanted to own a business.
And we thought that could be a way to potentially offset a little bit of his
(15:36):
work schedule and heavy travel.
So I did a ton of research and I got social. I started to talk to people about franchising.
And so I consulted with a franchisee.
Consultant right and I talked to him and and he
gave me a bunch of different ideas about franchises to
explore I also talked to you Amy I don't know if you remember your friend does
(15:57):
PR for franchise a franchise organization yeah
no franchise marketing company a franchise marketing company I circulated that
and then you know but we started to get serious about actually with this consultant
I connected you with a friend another a franchise owner of a retail store yes
and then we started to get serious with this franchise company to actually pursue a franchise.
(16:18):
And ultimately what we landed on was a hair care salon.
And this was, I'm going to give everyone a memory here. This was late 2019, early 2020.
How did I get social? I interviewed, of course, all, I interviewed over 20 franchisees
of this particular. You had like a whole like one nice spreadsheet.
Yeah, me and my husband tracked it. And we, you know, he sat on some of the
(16:40):
calls, But I did the majority of it and I was and I put it all into this like tracker.
And that is uncharacteristic for me.
But this is really what I needed to do to kind of make sense of putting this
massive investment, biggest investment of my life outside of,
you know, our home. But that felt more natural.
Right. Or, you know, we we've seen people do that. But none of nobody in my
family was a franchise owner, nobody in Chris's family.
(17:03):
And so my husband's family. And so we did this whole exercise and we really
soul searched hard. And in the end, we decided we are going to pass on that.
And we really just wanted to focus on being professionals in our own specialties.
So I decided on career development and coaching.
And, you know, Chris is still in his own career, same career. But I mean, that's it.
(17:26):
Ultimately, we felt good about that decision. Well, actually,
sorry, I should say we didn't feel so great about the time.
We just didn't know. But the indecision was felt more strongly than a decision.
Right. But look, in the end, what happened with that?
If we would have signed a franchise agreement, put down a lot of money for a
(17:47):
franchise, and then on top of it, lease fees and all of that.
In 2020, early to mid-2020, when the COVID-19 pandemic hit, hair care salons
and salons were closed in the state of California, where I live,
for over at least four months.
And so that would have been a huge, huge—I would probably not be here today.
(18:15):
I would probably be at the hair care salon. And while that would have been the
path we would have chosen, it would have been a huge financial ram.
Ramifications, probably not positive that would have come to us to fight through that.
And I'm confident we would have just, you know, just the get it done attitude
and the resourcefulness that my husband and I have.
However, it would have been a lot of stress that probably didn't mind.
(18:36):
And I figured out too that I didn't want to be a manager.
I've actually never really managed people. That's like a little side note.
I've always been an individual contributor that's really excelled.
And I always thought that management would have to be the way to move up,
especially in communications and operations.
But I mean, my past stopped there and I'm totally happy with that. But-
(18:56):
That's just an example of how I did a lot of research. And actually.
I mean, it didn't land, it didn't bode into something that I actually did, but what I didn't do.
But in the end, it all worked out for the best or the better.
The better. Yeah, the better.
And it's, but I think it also just shows too that, you know,
there is a learning piece through that research.
(19:18):
I'm going through that right now. I'm considering something. thing.
And, you know, so I'm starting that research process and, you know,
I am just at a point where I'm going to be starting to talk to like other business
owners that are in a similar, not the same space, but the similar,
I kind of like entertainment space.
And like, what does that look like to you? And, you know, me walking into this
(19:39):
particular studio and hearing what the owner is doing here.
I'm like, yes, I actually would have loved to, I would love to have my own podcast
studio in Illinois and teach people how to do that.
Like I, yeah, I have like, to me, it's always been a, I've always had like these
like pipe dreams of, let's not call it pipe dreams, big dreams,
(20:03):
big dreams of things that I wanted to do.
When you're good at that, I mean, you think, and that just goes back to some
of the curiosity about the world of work that you and I both have,
but also you like to, yeah, you like to think bigger and entrepreneurial, right?
And that's it's good. A lot of times I'll, I, not that I don't do that,
but that doesn't even cross my mind at some points, you know,
(20:23):
I'm thinking about that for my clients, but not necessarily always for myself. Yeah.
So, and I mean, some of the ways you do that just naturally,
right? You do walk and talks. I do those too.
I love those with friends, coffee dates, you know, it doesn't always have to
look like something formal. It doesn't have to look like.
Forced. Right. The walk and talk for me was really, really huge because I just
(20:45):
felt like and like I feel like everything always revolves around food and drink.
And sometimes like I don't want to eat and I don't want to have to do it around
like a mealtime. Right. Like that's not always convenient for me.
And I, you know, not like a not like a cheap thing, but like I don't want to
spend money at a restaurant.
Like I don't know if I want to get locked into having a meal with somebody that
(21:07):
I'm that I'm just meeting.
So the walk and talk actually is really is great because I could do it first thing in the morning.
I'm getting my steps in that I'm going to do anyways.
And it makes me feel good like being out there. And you know,
like that makes the walk go by faster because you're typically talking to somebody.
And you know, the conversation is really good, you know, and so you're,
(21:28):
you're, you're both you're both winning.
And I like to be able to find the win in what I do.
It was a value that was set forth from the company that I came from.
I always find the win-win in, you know, in what it is that you're doing.
And it's something that I've carried forward into my values,
you know, into my current company.
So I think, yeah, the walk and talk is great. Yeah. And I mean,
(21:49):
of course, we'd be remiss if, you know, we wouldn't also mention informational interviews too.
Like that's the biggest compliment you can give to someone a lot of times.
It's like if someone asked me for an informational interview, like someone
did actually it was a former client of mine is knows
a coach who's trying to get started he's former hr and
recruiter and once again to coaching he's you know wants
to ask me about my business that's the biggest compliment right first of all
(22:11):
that my former client would send him to me but then on top of it that he checked
out my information and thought that i'd be worth spending 15 minutes asking
my advice right yeah so it works both ways and you all the person that's asking
also gets great you know great advice right or just advice maybe it's bad advice
but you asked for it right Right.
And you gave it and you just and you're learning your truth.
Right. And you're like, gosh, I don't want to be a bankruptcy court judge. That sounds horrible.
(22:37):
Like if you wanted to talk to that person who worked in bankruptcy as a bankruptcy
court judge, for example, or, you know, whatever it is.
But it just it gets it gets you out there and it gets you having conversation.
And then, you know, even if it's not the thing that you want to do,
maybe this bankruptcy court judge knows somebody or maybe somebody from the
walk and talk knows somebody. And so it also just also continues to amplify
(22:58):
your story and what it is that you do.
Well, small side story on the bankruptcy court judge. It has legs.
I mean, Amy doesn't even know this.
When I was in college, I did an internship at a bankruptcy court judge because
I thought, oh, you know, I thought I would want to be a lawyer because that's
just what my dad or people would tell you, right? Because they didn't.
People like to talk. Teacher here.
People like to talk a lot. People like politics. Oh, they should just become lawyers, right?
(23:21):
And I was a good student. So no, why not? So I did, I signed up for an internship
through the county, the city of L.A. I went to some bankruptcy court judge and
I thought it was kind of exciting because it was, sadly...
Tony Braxton's bankruptcy at the time. I'm dating myself as late 1990s.
And so I went to work for this bankruptcy court judge, but I quickly realized
(23:43):
none of this was glamorous.
And this was, I mean, the stacks and stacks of paper, because we're talking
about 1998, were so massive.
And I finished up that internship as fast as I could and said,
no, thank you. No, thank you. Not for me.
But, you know, someone else could have gone into that, but that,
you know, that's just an example of like something you could try and not like, but at least you knew.
But yeah, that was how I felt about educating the youth of today.
(24:06):
I'm like, this is too much. I can't be responsible for it. Yeah,
it just wasn't for you, but it was the right fit. But I wanted to create,
I love the content, right? I love the, I love making lessons plans.
Sharing ideas, I mean, maybe it's not in a classroom setting,
but another type of setting. Exactly.
But you know, and the internet can also be a great source for this, of course.
You know, search up anything related to this to try to find more applications
(24:27):
for this if you don't know where to start. hard.
Organizations, nonprofits that are related to what you're doing,
companies, community groups.
You have a lot of luck with Facebook community groups. I don't.
Our area. Yeah. Check out your area.
I mean, where I am in Chicago, there's so, so many different Facebook groups.
I'm in multiple groups and groups that have spun off of other groups.
(24:51):
But those have been really, really key.
And I would say I just made a hire for somebody within my company from a mom's Facebook group.
Those moms, we get shit done.
And so this mom had posted that her son was looking for, you know,
was having trouble finding some work and there's some things that he's doing,
(25:11):
but I was like, oh, like I could use somebody that does this.
And so made the hire. And, you know, so it's just, there's a lot of,
you know, there's a lot of support that's out there if you put yourself out
there. Right. Yeah, and I'd say that, like...
You know, I joined a networking group recently. I kind of followed Amy's footsteps.
She's done that. How did you find this networking group?
(25:32):
Well, these are from some moms at school that I kind of aligned with.
I'd gone to a couple events over the years, but it just wasn't the right time.
I wasn't in the right place in my business.
But yeah, we're called Elevated Resource Networking Group. We're in the Los
Alamitos, Rosemont area, like a long beach where I live.
And so it works. Like we're all in different areas. Like there's a lawyer,
there's a financial planner, there's a realtor.
(25:53):
I mean, and you know, we're all trying to figure out how to help each other's businesses.
But also have fun while we're doing it. So, and I think, I wanna say one more
thing about networking groups.
I think that there are a lot of opportunities out there for networking groups
and you need to find the networking group that works for you.
So I have gone to, I am in an all women's networking group. That is my favorite one.
(26:15):
It has been amazing. The women are super supportive and want to be helpful and make referrals.
And it's not even so much about the referral, but even just like the community,
around what it is that you're doing and super supportive.
And we all have that same goal of being awesome business owners and making money.
(26:36):
But on the flip side, I've also been invited to other networking groups that
have not been the right fit for me.
For me, as a small business owner, wanting to work with other small business
owners, me being in a networking group with bankers and lawyers is not like,
there is some synergy that could be there, but it's not the ideal, right?
It's not really my sweet spot of having that corporate type of...
(26:59):
Having that corporate type of connection. I've also been in networking groups
with a number of men versus women.
And I also have just found that like my comfort level within those groups.
That's not where I feel like my flow.
And so you have to find like what works for you. And all of these groups that
are out there, I'm part of the Chamber of Commerce.
(27:19):
So like that's a great place to start within your community.
There is resources that are out there. And so you just need to start with one
and start asking the questions like, oh, I'm looking to do this.
Or, you know, depending on like what your industry is, this woman that runs
the networking group that I'm a part of, she is a recruiter.
And so she originally started the particular group that I'm in,
(27:41):
I don't know, six, seven years ago, as a way to also like expand her network
of like how she's reaching out to other people. That's ALR.
And so Amy started this networking group, this ALR Connections.
She started this networking group to be able to also help to expand like her
reach for hiring dynamic individuals for jobs.
(28:02):
And then it's just like expanded. And she's done so many amazing things,
you know, with this group. So there are networking groups that are out there that cost money.
There are networking groups that are free, you know, but at the bottom,
the bottom line is, is finding a group that works for you.
And if it doesn't work for you and it's not, you know, it's not providing referrals,
if it's not providing you with that same like energy that like you're looking
(28:26):
for, move on and don't waste your time and don't feel bad about it.
And if you don't know anywhere to start, just post on social media,
ask, you know, or ask if in some of your in-person networking and getting social.
Hey, do you join any groups or do you know any good groups? Not even just networking
groups. Like, hey, do you know like of a good website to follow?
Or like, even if it's like some sort of women's group that doesn't have a networking
(28:50):
slant. Correct. Just like starting to, excuse me.
Neighborhood groups next door. Like there's so many places out there.
Posting on your own social media about it or LinkedIn or saying like,
hey, does anyone know a good like, like, for example, like one of my clients,
University of Michigan, like I said, you should be trying to bark up that tree
of any alumni groups in the Chicago area, because I bet you there's a strong
(29:11):
alumni connection there and lots of clubs or events like, you know, I know with UCLA,
there's like where I went, there was like, there's a lot of these groups.
They go to the UCLA football games together.
There's just like something that like gets your foot in the door.
So like, oh, University of Michigan, like find a group, go out and be like,
that's your connection.
Like maybe you'll have other connections, but like that's at least one connection
(29:32):
that you have that you went to the same university.
Yeah. So I mean, it just goes to show. But we could talk all day about getting social.
But we think we hope we've sparked some interest in terms of like ideas about
now that's on You're on step three and now you're going to start sharing and
circulating your message and getting social to get support.
We want to support you. We are not going to leave you hanging here.
(29:56):
We want you to take that next step to socializing and sharing your why,
really, to becoming that maven of your midlife.
And so visit our website, of course, midlifeatthemailbox.com.
Check out the free maven guide that we have there.
You could also comment guide on any of our posts, and we will share that download with you directly.
So amplifiedbyA2 on Instagram, Denise at Denise for a pod on Instagram,
(30:21):
or midlife Like the mailbox, of course.
And just like the other steps, step three of this guide, there's going to be
tips and kind of like a summary of all that we talked about and how you can
get social and ask for guidance and support from your community.
But then as well, there's going to be a little exercise, just a little area for you to jot down,
challenge yourself and write down a few ways that you can socialize or places or,
(30:45):
you know, online groups or whatever places or opportunities for you to socialize
your your new interests and plan with your community because we know that helping
make the invisible visible is powerful.
Awesome. And as Denise said at the top of our episode, this process is not always linear.
It's like a jungle gym. There's going to be ups, there's going to be downs,
(31:07):
you're going to go sideways, over, under, all around.
But at the end of the day, becoming that maven will happen when you begin to
explore the things that bring you joy and vitality.
Thanks, everyone. Thanks for listening. Bye.
That's a wrap for this week's step on becoming a Maven in your midlife.
Throughout this season, our goal is to provide you with actionable tips on becoming
(31:29):
the expert of your own midlife journey.
We hope this episode leaves you feeling encouraged and full of positive energy.
Every Monday, catch us live on Instagram at midlifeatthemailbox,
where we share our midlife moments.
Be sure to follow our show and add us to your favorites so you never miss any
of our content. Hold up, wait.
(31:50):
Before you go, please take a moment to leave us a rating wherever you get your
podcasts and consider sharing our show with your favorite Midlife Bestie.
Positive ratings and shares help more people like you discover our show.
Please check out our show notes for episode highlights and sign up for our email
list to receive our exclusive Maven Guide.
We'd love to hear from you, our amazing Mailbox family.
(32:11):
Follow our show on Instagram or Facebook at Midlife at the Mailbox or send us a message in our DMs.
You can follow Amy directly at Amplify by A2 and Denise, that's Denise with
a Y, thanks mom, at Denise Rabat.
Your feedback is always appreciated. See you at the mailbox.
Hi, thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Midlife at the Mailbox.
I'm Amy Alexander, and on the other mic is Denise Rabat.
Over nine years ago, during a chance meeting at our neighborhood mailbox,
two strangers met and a new friendship blossomed into something bigger.
Although we no longer share a mailbox, and while we may have many miles between
(00:22):
us, we're closer than ever in real life. This chance meeting in our neighborhood
mailbox inspired a friendship, a business relationship, and three seasons of a podcast.
Welcome, Midlife Maven. This is your first episode tuning into our podcast.
We're so thrilled you found us. We highly recommend, though,
(00:45):
that you start this journey with us at the very beginning of Season 3.
You see, we have designed this season specifically to guide you step-by-step
to rediscovering your purpose and passions in order to fully blossom as a maven in your midlife.
Therefore, we encourage you to pause right here and hop back to Episode 1 so
(01:08):
you can follow the progressive roadmap we have created just for you,
our listeners, over the coming shows.
Rest assured, the insights and aha moments in every episode will compound to
help you take ownership of writing your next chapter.
Simply search for Midlife at the Mailbox to start at our origin story or click
on the very first episode of Season 3 under our podcast name.
(01:31):
Get ready to transform how you approach your midlife and beyond.
So, Amy, here we are. We're at step three.
Get social and get support. Get social. Social, easy.
Sure, it's easy for us, but it's not easy for everybody, right?
I don't think it's easy for everybody. And even getting social in terms of like
(01:54):
this path you're on, right?
And becoming this maven of your midlife. It's just not about being social.
I mean, we can all, if you wanna be social, you can go out with your friends
and have a great time, but that doesn't necessarily equate to like finding that
significance and meaning, right? Correct. Correct.
It equates to doing things that are out of your comfort zone.
(02:15):
And I'm going to start this episode off with a story.
So in my business, I began a series last year that I was trying to do over Instagram
Live, and it's called She E O.
And it's me.
The point of it was me on Instagram Live. was, it was twofold.
(02:39):
So the first piece was I wanted to be able to tap into other people's networks
in order to grow mine, right?
So that's like a networking 101 is you need to network with others so that it
also helps to expand, right, your network and your reach.
And so doing that through social media, doing a live, whether it's a Facebook
(03:02):
live or an Instagram live where you're You're connecting with another person
and their followers is a great way to reach other people.
So I set out to do SheEO and I wanted to do it on Instagram Live.
What I learned, though, at least for me, is that the reach on Instagram Live
as a newer, like my Amplify by H2 account is newer.
(03:23):
It really didn't have the reach that I was going for.
And the individual people that I was interviewing also have a smaller following.
So it wasn't getting amplified as much as I would have hoped.
So I went back to the drawing board and I decided that I was going to record
something side by side with the person that I was interviewing.
(03:44):
And so that was the third episode and it went really great.
And the feedback from this particular woman, Rana, was like,
it really helped her to get out of her comfort zone.
Doing something virtually or even in person, whether having a conversation,
right, about yourself is not something that like comes super easy to her.
(04:09):
And I'm sure it's not something that comes easy to everybody.
I mean, even, you know, oddly, you know, funny enough, like me sitting here
and having this conversation with you, there's like not a, like I'm not nervous about anything, right?
But me standing up even in my networking group in front of, you know,
12 to 15 women and saying like, hi, I'm Amy and I have a marketing business.
(04:30):
I'm like, I forget everything that I do.
It's like the Starbucks, you know, it's like going to Starbucks and like forgetting
the order that you literally order every single time you go.
I'm like, do I like a grande? Do I like a vente?
What the heck is a vente? What the heck is a grande? Like you just like get
like so choked up. Anyway, so I digress.
Part of this step of getting social and is really being able to put Put yourself
(04:54):
out even more so than we talked about in the previous step and making sure that
you are able to get that support.
And so for me, my Amplify coaching, and this is not like a plug for my business,
but like my Amplify coaching,
one of the things that I do and one of the reasons that people work with me,
(05:14):
and I'm sure it's the same as being a business coach, is that you have that
accountability friend.
So, right, if you remember from step one, we talked about finding somebody that you could,
explore your why with, you know, finding somebody that, you know,
Denise and I are super close, but in this exercise, it's finding somebody that
maybe is not your bestie and someone that you don't talk to on the regular.
(05:37):
So somebody, you know, somebody within your office currently,
or somebody that is a friend that you're not super close, maybe somebody from
your kid's sports team or somebody from your religious organization or whatever it might be.
So, you know, I wanted to open with that story because I think it's a really
strong point to show that there are things that we can do that are outside of our comfort zone.
(06:03):
And when you go back and so this is all videoed and you can watch,
there's multiple episodes like you could see it was the same conversation,
though. It wasn't just it wasn't just Rana, right?
It was the other two women that I interviewed. They also were very like it was this.
I need the questions. I, you know, anyways, it just really shows you that like
(06:25):
you could get like you could work to write to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Right. Right. I mean, yeah. And, you know, when we did when we when I designed
this process, these five steps and when we decided to share it with all of you
together and kind of make it podcastable, which was this.
This is like, this is also a really important piece.
(06:46):
Get social and network, right? Be a beginner again.
And it's okay to be a beginner and ask for help and kind of raise your hand and do this.
And, you know, Amy just brought up a shining example of that.
You know, and that's, you know, start easy, right?
I mean, a lot of times, and this is why Amy's kind of taking the lead today
(07:07):
on this one, is because she did a really great job of that in the last few years,
right? really building her business and getting out there.
And, you know, she took a couple of years to, you know, find her why. We did that in 2021.
Her and I worked together, you know, career coaching in 2022.
She was really exploring what was going to be her niche.
(07:27):
You know, she changed her focus of her business a few times.
And now 2023, she really focused on getting out there and getting social for support.
And she really did a great job at that. I mean, thank you. Yeah.
Through your networking groups, you joined.
And I think the first piece, too, is like, how do you find that?
Right. And so I think the piece about getting social is talking to people.
(07:52):
You have to. And this is true whether you are in this process.
Right. If you're going through the Maven steps in this process of getting social
or if you're looking for a job or you have a business is that you need to tell
people what it is that you do.
(08:12):
And you need to tell people over and over and over again to a point where you are sick of hearing it.
That means that you have just scratched the surface of telling people what it is that you do.
Or what you're interested in, right? So like, I mean, let's assume that someone
doesn't know what they actually want to do at this point, because that's why
(08:33):
they're in this, you know, conundrum, right, of finding, becoming a midlife maven.
They don't have it all together. And that's okay. We're not saying we do.
We definitely don't have it all together.
But by asking and kind of sharing, and that could look different for everyone
else. I have a client who's, you know, self-professed introvert, right?
He's just, he has social anxiety, is not super comfortable networking, right?
(08:54):
You know, with this traditional form of, you know, you're at a hotel convention
center and you're out there shaking hands and kissing babies,
and getting your business card out there and you think you're wheeling and dealing
and that's networking, quote-unquote networking.
Traditionally, that most people aren't spending time doing that networking.
They're doing it in different ways. But that's totally uncomfortable for him.
(09:15):
He just, even the thought of that. It's uncomfortable for a lot of people.
The thought of that gives him high.
However, I tried to find something that would be comfortable,
a way to network in person or doing something in small groups or even virtual
webinars that could be a way to quote unquote communicate with people or talk
to people, preferably in person if you can.
(09:37):
And tell people what he does. What could be, yeah, what are you working on? What do you want to do?
Like, even if it's like, hey, I'm looking for a job. Hey, I'm looking for new
opportunities as a nurse.
And I really want to become, you know, a pediatric nurse.
But right now I'm in elder care nursing or whatever that is, right?
So just circulating that and kind of, you know, getting that point across to
(09:59):
people, even if it's your neighbor who's- Yes, but that's the point about getting
social is that it may not seem totally comfortable talking about yourself.
But the other the other piece that I that I found through through these networking,
these networking connections,
right, whether it's a traditional networking group, or we're sitting around
a conference table, and we're learning about a business, and then we're like general chit chat,
(10:22):
or even in like a more socialized setting, is that people also just.
Just if you're not in that situation, don't always like ask you what it is that you do, Right.
It's it's a question that like we don't like come up with.
And Denise is seeing it in real life, like here in Scottsdale,
like we get in the elevator and we're just like we like we like are striking
(10:46):
up conversations with people like everywhere we go.
And, you know, our favorite Scotty's favorite Scotty Scottsdale,
you know, we're like I'm going to like know his whole entire life story by the
time that that we're done here.
Point is, is that like the more that you put yourself out and put yourself into
situations where you like have to, you know, I may never see Scotty Scottsdale
(11:09):
or the man, any of the people in the elevator that we've met before,
but it gives you good practice to like start striking up conversations with
people and starting to get that out of your system.
It's the same with like utilizing social media and recording yourself.
Do you know how many videos I've made Denise do like since we've been here so
that we have this B-roll footage or like a picture that we could post,
(11:32):
like, because we're not together, but we want to, you know, we still want to
be able to promote posts,
you know, as, as the release, it's just, it's doing things that are not,
are outside of your comfort zone.
Absolutely. And I mean, even starting small, right? I mean, we come from a different
comfort level and doing that just naturally, but like, you know,
you can start with asking a trusted friend or a colleague,
(11:53):
a former manager, a former teacher, or a mentor of yours, or just a friend you're
super comfortable with, right?
I mean, just kind of circulate and kind of shop out there what you're doing, right?
Maybe it's like, hey, I want to start an Etsy shop because I want to sell my beaded bracelets.
You know, start asking people, oh, do you know anyone that like has an Etsy shop? Has it worked?
You know, just be a beginner again. Ask a lot of open-ended questions,
(12:17):
not yes or no questions, but just like, how did you do it? What were the challenges?
How did it feel? How long did it take you? Or not even how long,
that even implies some bias.
But like, what was the amount of time it took you to get where you are today?
You know, things like that. Great question. Yeah. So, okay. So my timeline is
(12:37):
a little bit more linear in terms of, okay, I started, I restarted A2 in 2021 after getting laid off.
You know, I'm not going to go through my whole, like my whole,
my whole story right now.
But, you know, like I restarted that journey. You and I started working together
and, you know, we discovered the why. We put things into practice.
We became a student. We're going through all the steps like as we're preaching it right now.
(13:03):
Your story is a little bit different, right? So you went back in 2008 to get your master's degree.
And then what happened? Things kind of stalled out, right? You had babies.
You started your family.
You are, you know, started, right? You started your family, you know.
And then you were still working in this same position.
And then a layoff, the layoff that
(13:25):
you had been anticipating for years and years, finally came to in 2019.
And so there was some exploration of things that you started to do.
So talk to us about your foray into potentially opening up a franchise.
And thankfully, that didn't end up happening because of COVID.
But kind of talk about that journey for you.
(13:45):
Sure. I mean, I like and I like to share this concept or this,
you know, imagery is that careers are like no longer.
It's I think it's dated to think of them like a ladder.
It's more realistic and more palpable to think about them as a jungle gym.
I imagine those jungle gyms at a park like the big ball where you can like,
(14:08):
you know, you can climb over.
The kids can climb over it to the side, to the front. You still get to the top,
but you don't go straight up. It's not an upward trajectory.
It's a bit of can go sideways, linear, and can go up. It could go down even.
And that's really how my career progression has gone.
And just to fast forward to 2008, yeah, I was working sales ops and sales communications
(14:32):
and just wasn't fulfilling as I wanted to be.
So then I embarked on a master's degree in counseling and then career counseling,
and I got it. I obtained it like literally weeks before I had my daughter.
And then I thought, I can't change a career right now. Are you kidding?
I can barely change my clothes.
And so I, you know, I had a great job.
(14:53):
I'm just going to keep on what I'm doing. I'm crazy to be at a remote work in
2011, which was unheard of at the time. This was not 2021.
This was 10 years prior. And so I kept on keeping on. And then,
yes, like fast forward to 2019, I was let go inevitably after 14 years at a
tech company. And, you know, it was a good, it was, it was an opportunity and
it was a great way to kind of spread my wings.
(15:15):
And so that's when I, but I didn't know quite what I was doing.
I wasn't necessarily already thinking career coaching, actually.
Just complete spoiler alert. I first, you know, my husband and I were interested
in starting a franchise.
We thought that that we wanted to be entrepreneurs and wanted to own a business.
And we thought that could be a way to potentially offset a little bit of his
(15:36):
work schedule and heavy travel.
So I did a ton of research and I got social. I started to talk to people about franchising.
And so I consulted with a franchisee.
Consultant right and I talked to him and and he
gave me a bunch of different ideas about franchises to
explore I also talked to you Amy I don't know if you remember your friend does
(15:57):
PR for franchise a franchise organization yeah
no franchise marketing company a franchise marketing company I circulated that
and then you know but we started to get serious about actually with this consultant
I connected you with a friend another a franchise owner of a retail store yes
and then we started to get serious with this franchise company to actually pursue a franchise.
(16:18):
And ultimately what we landed on was a hair care salon.
And this was, I'm going to give everyone a memory here. This was late 2019, early 2020.
How did I get social? I interviewed, of course, all, I interviewed over 20 franchisees
of this particular. You had like a whole like one nice spreadsheet.
Yeah, me and my husband tracked it. And we, you know, he sat on some of the
(16:40):
calls, But I did the majority of it and I was and I put it all into this like tracker.
And that is uncharacteristic for me.
But this is really what I needed to do to kind of make sense of putting this
massive investment, biggest investment of my life outside of,
you know, our home. But that felt more natural.
Right. Or, you know, we we've seen people do that. But none of nobody in my
family was a franchise owner, nobody in Chris's family.
(17:03):
And so my husband's family. And so we did this whole exercise and we really
soul searched hard. And in the end, we decided we are going to pass on that.
And we really just wanted to focus on being professionals in our own specialties.
So I decided on career development and coaching.
And, you know, Chris is still in his own career, same career. But I mean, that's it.
(17:26):
Ultimately, we felt good about that decision. Well, actually,
sorry, I should say we didn't feel so great about the time.
We just didn't know. But the indecision was felt more strongly than a decision.
Right. But look, in the end, what happened with that?
If we would have signed a franchise agreement, put down a lot of money for a
(17:47):
franchise, and then on top of it, lease fees and all of that.
In 2020, early to mid-2020, when the COVID-19 pandemic hit, hair care salons
and salons were closed in the state of California, where I live,
for over at least four months.
And so that would have been a huge, huge—I would probably not be here today.
(18:15):
I would probably be at the hair care salon. And while that would have been the
path we would have chosen, it would have been a huge financial ram.
Ramifications, probably not positive that would have come to us to fight through that.
And I'm confident we would have just, you know, just the get it done attitude
and the resourcefulness that my husband and I have.
However, it would have been a lot of stress that probably didn't mind.
(18:36):
And I figured out too that I didn't want to be a manager.
I've actually never really managed people. That's like a little side note.
I've always been an individual contributor that's really excelled.
And I always thought that management would have to be the way to move up,
especially in communications and operations.
But I mean, my past stopped there and I'm totally happy with that. But-
(18:56):
That's just an example of how I did a lot of research. And actually.
I mean, it didn't land, it didn't bode into something that I actually did, but what I didn't do.
But in the end, it all worked out for the best or the better.
The better. Yeah, the better.
And it's, but I think it also just shows too that, you know,
there is a learning piece through that research.
(19:18):
I'm going through that right now. I'm considering something. thing.
And, you know, so I'm starting that research process and, you know,
I am just at a point where I'm going to be starting to talk to like other business
owners that are in a similar, not the same space, but the similar,
I kind of like entertainment space.
And like, what does that look like to you? And, you know, me walking into this
(19:39):
particular studio and hearing what the owner is doing here.
I'm like, yes, I actually would have loved to, I would love to have my own podcast
studio in Illinois and teach people how to do that.
Like I, yeah, I have like, to me, it's always been a, I've always had like these
like pipe dreams of, let's not call it pipe dreams, big dreams,
(20:03):
big dreams of things that I wanted to do.
When you're good at that, I mean, you think, and that just goes back to some
of the curiosity about the world of work that you and I both have,
but also you like to, yeah, you like to think bigger and entrepreneurial, right?
And that's it's good. A lot of times I'll, I, not that I don't do that,
but that doesn't even cross my mind at some points, you know,
(20:23):
I'm thinking about that for my clients, but not necessarily always for myself. Yeah.
So, and I mean, some of the ways you do that just naturally,
right? You do walk and talks. I do those too.
I love those with friends, coffee dates, you know, it doesn't always have to
look like something formal. It doesn't have to look like.
Forced. Right. The walk and talk for me was really, really huge because I just
(20:45):
felt like and like I feel like everything always revolves around food and drink.
And sometimes like I don't want to eat and I don't want to have to do it around
like a mealtime. Right. Like that's not always convenient for me.
And I, you know, not like a not like a cheap thing, but like I don't want to
spend money at a restaurant.
Like I don't know if I want to get locked into having a meal with somebody that
(21:07):
I'm that I'm just meeting.
So the walk and talk actually is really is great because I could do it first thing in the morning.
I'm getting my steps in that I'm going to do anyways.
And it makes me feel good like being out there. And you know,
like that makes the walk go by faster because you're typically talking to somebody.
And you know, the conversation is really good, you know, and so you're,
(21:28):
you're, you're both you're both winning.
And I like to be able to find the win in what I do.
It was a value that was set forth from the company that I came from.
I always find the win-win in, you know, in what it is that you're doing.
And it's something that I've carried forward into my values,
you know, into my current company.
So I think, yeah, the walk and talk is great. Yeah. And I mean,
(21:49):
of course, we'd be remiss if, you know, we wouldn't also mention informational interviews too.
Like that's the biggest compliment you can give to someone a lot of times.
It's like if someone asked me for an informational interview, like someone
did actually it was a former client of mine is knows
a coach who's trying to get started he's former hr and
recruiter and once again to coaching he's you know wants
to ask me about my business that's the biggest compliment right first of all
(22:11):
that my former client would send him to me but then on top of it that he checked
out my information and thought that i'd be worth spending 15 minutes asking
my advice right yeah so it works both ways and you all the person that's asking
also gets great you know great advice right or just advice maybe it's bad advice
but you asked for it right Right.
And you gave it and you just and you're learning your truth.
Right. And you're like, gosh, I don't want to be a bankruptcy court judge. That sounds horrible.
(22:37):
Like if you wanted to talk to that person who worked in bankruptcy as a bankruptcy
court judge, for example, or, you know, whatever it is.
But it just it gets it gets you out there and it gets you having conversation.
And then, you know, even if it's not the thing that you want to do,
maybe this bankruptcy court judge knows somebody or maybe somebody from the
walk and talk knows somebody. And so it also just also continues to amplify
(22:58):
your story and what it is that you do.
Well, small side story on the bankruptcy court judge. It has legs.
I mean, Amy doesn't even know this.
When I was in college, I did an internship at a bankruptcy court judge because
I thought, oh, you know, I thought I would want to be a lawyer because that's
just what my dad or people would tell you, right? Because they didn't.
People like to talk. Teacher here.
People like to talk a lot. People like politics. Oh, they should just become lawyers, right?
(23:21):
And I was a good student. So no, why not? So I did, I signed up for an internship
through the county, the city of L.A. I went to some bankruptcy court judge and
I thought it was kind of exciting because it was, sadly...
Tony Braxton's bankruptcy at the time. I'm dating myself as late 1990s.
And so I went to work for this bankruptcy court judge, but I quickly realized
(23:43):
none of this was glamorous.
And this was, I mean, the stacks and stacks of paper, because we're talking
about 1998, were so massive.
And I finished up that internship as fast as I could and said,
no, thank you. No, thank you. Not for me.
But, you know, someone else could have gone into that, but that,
you know, that's just an example of like something you could try and not like, but at least you knew.
But yeah, that was how I felt about educating the youth of today.
(24:06):
I'm like, this is too much. I can't be responsible for it. Yeah,
it just wasn't for you, but it was the right fit. But I wanted to create,
I love the content, right? I love the, I love making lessons plans.
Sharing ideas, I mean, maybe it's not in a classroom setting,
but another type of setting. Exactly.
But you know, and the internet can also be a great source for this, of course.
You know, search up anything related to this to try to find more applications
(24:27):
for this if you don't know where to start. hard.
Organizations, nonprofits that are related to what you're doing,
companies, community groups.
You have a lot of luck with Facebook community groups. I don't.
Our area. Yeah. Check out your area.
I mean, where I am in Chicago, there's so, so many different Facebook groups.
I'm in multiple groups and groups that have spun off of other groups.
(24:51):
But those have been really, really key.
And I would say I just made a hire for somebody within my company from a mom's Facebook group.
Those moms, we get shit done.
And so this mom had posted that her son was looking for, you know,
was having trouble finding some work and there's some things that he's doing,
(25:11):
but I was like, oh, like I could use somebody that does this.
And so made the hire. And, you know, so it's just, there's a lot of,
you know, there's a lot of support that's out there if you put yourself out
there. Right. Yeah, and I'd say that, like...
You know, I joined a networking group recently. I kind of followed Amy's footsteps.
She's done that. How did you find this networking group?
(25:32):
Well, these are from some moms at school that I kind of aligned with.
I'd gone to a couple events over the years, but it just wasn't the right time.
I wasn't in the right place in my business.
But yeah, we're called Elevated Resource Networking Group. We're in the Los
Alamitos, Rosemont area, like a long beach where I live.
And so it works. Like we're all in different areas. Like there's a lawyer,
there's a financial planner, there's a realtor.
(25:53):
I mean, and you know, we're all trying to figure out how to help each other's businesses.
But also have fun while we're doing it. So, and I think, I wanna say one more
thing about networking groups.
I think that there are a lot of opportunities out there for networking groups
and you need to find the networking group that works for you.
So I have gone to, I am in an all women's networking group. That is my favorite one.
(26:15):
It has been amazing. The women are super supportive and want to be helpful and make referrals.
And it's not even so much about the referral, but even just like the community,
around what it is that you're doing and super supportive.
And we all have that same goal of being awesome business owners and making money.
(26:36):
But on the flip side, I've also been invited to other networking groups that
have not been the right fit for me.
For me, as a small business owner, wanting to work with other small business
owners, me being in a networking group with bankers and lawyers is not like,
there is some synergy that could be there, but it's not the ideal, right?
It's not really my sweet spot of having that corporate type of...
(26:59):
Having that corporate type of connection. I've also been in networking groups
with a number of men versus women.
And I also have just found that like my comfort level within those groups.
That's not where I feel like my flow.
And so you have to find like what works for you. And all of these groups that
are out there, I'm part of the Chamber of Commerce.
(27:19):
So like that's a great place to start within your community.
There is resources that are out there. And so you just need to start with one
and start asking the questions like, oh, I'm looking to do this.
Or, you know, depending on like what your industry is, this woman that runs
the networking group that I'm a part of, she is a recruiter.
And so she originally started the particular group that I'm in,
(27:41):
I don't know, six, seven years ago, as a way to also like expand her network
of like how she's reaching out to other people. That's ALR.
And so Amy started this networking group, this ALR Connections.
She started this networking group to be able to also help to expand like her
reach for hiring dynamic individuals for jobs.
(28:02):
And then it's just like expanded. And she's done so many amazing things,
you know, with this group. So there are networking groups that are out there that cost money.
There are networking groups that are free, you know, but at the bottom,
the bottom line is, is finding a group that works for you.
And if it doesn't work for you and it's not, you know, it's not providing referrals,
if it's not providing you with that same like energy that like you're looking
(28:26):
for, move on and don't waste your time and don't feel bad about it.
And if you don't know anywhere to start, just post on social media,
ask, you know, or ask if in some of your in-person networking and getting social.
Hey, do you join any groups or do you know any good groups? Not even just networking
groups. Like, hey, do you know like of a good website to follow?
Or like, even if it's like some sort of women's group that doesn't have a networking
(28:50):
slant. Correct. Just like starting to, excuse me.
Neighborhood groups next door. Like there's so many places out there.
Posting on your own social media about it or LinkedIn or saying like,
hey, does anyone know a good like, like, for example, like one of my clients,
University of Michigan, like I said, you should be trying to bark up that tree
of any alumni groups in the Chicago area, because I bet you there's a strong
(29:11):
alumni connection there and lots of clubs or events like, you know, I know with UCLA,
there's like where I went, there was like, there's a lot of these groups.
They go to the UCLA football games together.
There's just like something that like gets your foot in the door.
So like, oh, University of Michigan, like find a group, go out and be like,
that's your connection.
Like maybe you'll have other connections, but like that's at least one connection
(29:32):
that you have that you went to the same university.
Yeah. So I mean, it just goes to show. But we could talk all day about getting social.
But we think we hope we've sparked some interest in terms of like ideas about
now that's on You're on step three and now you're going to start sharing and
circulating your message and getting social to get support.
We want to support you. We are not going to leave you hanging here.
(29:56):
We want you to take that next step to socializing and sharing your why,
really, to becoming that maven of your midlife.
And so visit our website, of course, midlifeatthemailbox.com.
Check out the free maven guide that we have there.
You could also comment guide on any of our posts, and we will share that download with you directly.
So amplifiedbyA2 on Instagram, Denise at Denise for a pod on Instagram,
(30:21):
or midlife Like the mailbox, of course.
And just like the other steps, step three of this guide, there's going to be
tips and kind of like a summary of all that we talked about and how you can
get social and ask for guidance and support from your community.
But then as well, there's going to be a little exercise, just a little area for you to jot down,
challenge yourself and write down a few ways that you can socialize or places or,
(30:45):
you know, online groups or whatever places or opportunities for you to socialize
your your new interests and plan with your community because we know that helping
make the invisible visible is powerful.
Awesome. And as Denise said at the top of our episode, this process is not always linear.
It's like a jungle gym. There's going to be ups, there's going to be downs,
(31:07):
you're going to go sideways, over, under, all around.
But at the end of the day, becoming that maven will happen when you begin to
explore the things that bring you joy and vitality.
Thanks, everyone. Thanks for listening. Bye.
That's a wrap for this week's step on becoming a Maven in your midlife.
Throughout this season, our goal is to provide you with actionable tips on becoming
(31:29):
the expert of your own midlife journey.
We hope this episode leaves you feeling encouraged and full of positive energy.
Every Monday, catch us live on Instagram at midlifeatthemailbox,
where we share our midlife moments.
Be sure to follow our show and add us to your favorites so you never miss any
of our content. Hold up, wait.
(31:50):
Before you go, please take a moment to leave us a rating wherever you get your
podcasts and consider sharing our show with your favorite Midlife Bestie.
Positive ratings and shares help more people like you discover our show.
Please check out our show notes for episode highlights and sign up for our email
list to receive our exclusive Maven Guide.
We'd love to hear from you, our amazing Mailbox family.
(32:11):
Follow our show on Instagram or Facebook at Midlife at the Mailbox or send us a message in our DMs.
You can follow Amy directly at Amplify by A2 and Denise, that's Denise with
a Y, thanks mom, at Denise Rabat.
Your feedback is always appreciated. See you at the mailbox.
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