No Player Connected

No Player Connected

We go into your favorite games and DON’T play them! But we will talk about them!

Episodes

March 25, 2025 72 mins

For the first time, we have TWO guests today! The occasion? A pilgrimage of dubious origins. We put our crystal powered wagon in brake and let the wood people giggle on the periphery as we discuss Pilgrim, a cooperative horror game akin to Lethal Company.

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We are joined once again by renowned game developer and deep water disliker, AxeyMcAxeStuff! We'll take a magnifying glass to Pools, a liminal space exploration horror walking game with Finnish attributes. Is that enough labels?

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We've finally made it to the big city in Act 3! Surely we can't spend nearly two hours JUST talking about the companion questlines, and necessitate another episode on Baldur's Gate 3, right? Right?

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Prof and nightingaelic venture into the Shadow-Cursed Lands in this episode, discussing the highlights of Baldur's Gate 3's second act. Who is the hottest of hotties in this part of the game? Does Shadowheart need to be the center of everything? Is it wrong to lunge at spirits of the forest?

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On a very atypical episode of No Player Connected, Prof is going to talk about his recent prerelease experience with the latest set of Magic: the Gathering cards. Did he dress as a cowboy? Did he go undefeated? How did he manage to record this?

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April 10, 2024 64 mins

In the Old World, only content and the viewer numbers it brings matter. Strange Spooktubers in diving suits plumb the depths for horrifying moments to share with their viewership, risking life and limb. It's in this harrowing landscape that we are joined by resident 4 player co-op horror adjacent expert Stelle! Can we figure out what has led the world to such a sorry state? Who are these strange content creators? What is the best c...

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March 27, 2024 76 mins

Going in no particular order, Prof and Mack continue their journey through the Doom franchise! This time we take a look at Doom 3, a controversial departure from the typical Doom formula. Tight hallways, dark corners, and emails emails emails emails await the brave souls that travel to Mars in this Sci-fi shooter. But is it like... a good game?

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March 20, 2024 72 mins

Today we delve into the world of... other Dead Space games. Specifically the Wii exclusive, on-rails shooter, Dead Space Extraction! NPCs with terrible aim, learned helplessness, and graphic depictions of boss fights await you in this episode! Oh, and the main character is breathing softly in the background the entire time. Try to tune that out.

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March 13, 2024 60 mins

GOOD MORNING DRAUPNIR! Prof and Axey attempt to record another incredibly insightful episode planetside in Helldivers II. Will the local automaton forces be receptive to the podcast? What changes will come to the game? What changes will come to gaming itself? Will the debate around Starship Troopers ever end? Find out by plugging this episode directly into your patriotic ears right now!

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March 6, 2024 49 mins

Escape from your daily grind at a corporate nightmare and come play in an even worse corporate nightmare! Prof and Stelle discuss Lethal Company, a game where highly expendable employees risk their lives to collect scrap for a faceless corporation.

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September 21, 2023 71 mins

For our season finale, we are joined once again by horror fanatic MulletWesker, to talk about Resident Evil 4! Specifically, we're discussing the 2023 remake, which has joined in on the trend of remakes and remasters. Graphic overhauls, gameplay tweaks, and even plot changes await those who enjoyed the original 18 years ago, and are looking for more. And what is our locale for this esteemed final episode? Leon is standing on the wi...

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September 6, 2023 46 mins

Ever wanted to have a podcast episode that sounds like it's taking place in a warzone? No? Too bad, because Jam and Cousin Eric manage to hold a coherent conversation about the popular extraction shooter Escape From Tarkov, all while gunshots echo in the distance. Don't mind those rustling bushes either, it's probably nothing.

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August 30, 2023 63 mins

We finally tackle what very well might be game of the year; the hit role-playing game Baldur's Gate! With its detailed dialogue, plethora of character customization options, and compelling story, there's plenty to discuss! And Gale. We'll talk about Gale.

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August 9, 2023 73 mins

A wily veteran of Apex Legends (5 wins back in Season 2) talks with an up and coming rookie (Clem has over four thousand hours in the game and actually knows how to play). Maybe Clem can learn a thing or two alongside the audience in today's episode!

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August 2, 2023 61 mins

In today's episode, we venture into demon-infested battlegrounds to discuss Doom Eternal with returning guest Mack! Is Doom Slayer actually a giant toddler? Does modern Doom give you enough choices as a player? Is Doom the greatest piece of anti-Satanist media ever? Rip and tear your way through this episode, until it is done.

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July 26, 2023 59 mins

Scratches is a point-and-click horror game developed by Nucleosys and released in 2006, taking place in an abandoned manor. There, an author with an obsession with candelabras must solve a mystery involving a stolen mask, scandalous photographs, and interesting home makeovers. Once again, Kaden and Jam will cackle their way through this hair raising tale!

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July 19, 2023 39 mins

In the colony management game Rimworld, you are posed many questions. How do I best protect my people? Is organ harvesting ethical? Is the freezer really the safest place for a baby? We'll discuss these moral quandaries, among other things, on today's episode with the talented ghostbat_!

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July 12, 2023 44 mins

Stelle rejoins the show to walk us through the wondrous world of Hades, a game that fuses roguelike elements with wonderful artwork, immaculate voice acting, and an addicting gameplay loop. Does Jam actually know anything about Greek mythology? What is an underground hill called? How long does it actually take to beat this game? These questions, and more, will be answered....probably.

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July 5, 2023 73 mins

Join us on the chilly shores of Martinaise, as we delve into the immersive world of Disco Elysium. A remarkable roleplaying game where you take on the role of an amnesiac cop in a fantastical yet eerily familiar world, Disco Elysium features inane internal monologues, talking clothing, police bribery, and death via uncomfortable chair.

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June 21, 2023 41 mins

This episode finds us in the beautiful Yellowstone National Park, seeking the elusive Bigfoot... or perhaps it's the other way around. Join James and Austin as they discuss Bigfoot, as well as a host of other cryptids. Could the great cryptid-hunter genre be upon us? Or does the evidence point to the contrary?

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