April 10, 2025 • 21 mins
In this deeply personal episode of No Tears For Black Girls, a woman known only as Aisha courageously shares her heart-wrenching story of surviving a 13-year marriage filled with unimaginable abuse. She recounts the physical beatings that left her battered and broken, the sexual coercion she faced, and her husband's shocking infidelity with men. Enduring unspeakable trauma at the hands of the man she once loved, Aisha felt trapped in a cycle of manipulation and fear. Yet, she ultimately found the strength to continue, even after a near-fatal attack that led to her abuser's imprisonment. Aisha's powerful narrative illuminates the complex realities of domestic violence, highlights the resilience of the human spirit, and underscores the ongoing struggles faced by countless women caught in toxic relationships.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
He always asked me for anal sex and if I refuse it was an
argument, it was a fight, it wasa challenge and sometimes he
would take it. He didn't care if I cried, he
didn't care if I was like no like he jailhouse rape anally.
The last time we went away for our anniversary I had enough.
It was like 2 years before the incident.
(00:21):
I was completely turned off, completely numb and I wasn't
scared of him anymore. I'd rather die than be still
living that type of life. Like being being to the point
where it's like you scared to goto bed at night because you
know, this man is won't ask you for sex and the type of sex he's
asking you for is not normal. It's painful and he don't care.
(00:44):
He don't care that you was up all day with three kids, you
know, maintaining a house, cooking and cleaning and doing
whatever it is you got to do. He don't care of your period on.
He don't care if you have a headache.
He don't care. I just started to feel like I
wasn't. I wasn't being loved anymore.
Aisha's harrowing story begins with a violent confrontation
(01:07):
that would ultimately lead to her husband's decade long
imprisonment. That night, after discussing
divorce and resolving to leave him, she had put her children to
bed with a sense of hope. However, her estranged husband
T, who had secretly kept a copy of his house key, appeared in
her doorway while she slept. The ensuing confrontation
(01:32):
exemplified the cycle of abuse that had dominated their
relationship. T trapped her in the room for
hours, alternating between pleading and threats.
When Aisha finally stood firm inher decision to leave, he
attacked her with devastating force, beating her and
attempting to strangle her. Only by biting his finger to the
(01:53):
bone did she manage to break hisgrip and survive.
The violence that night reached new heights of brutality.
After forcing her into the bathroom to clean her wounds,
Tea LED Aisha to their basement filled with tools that could
become weapons. She managed to escape to her
truck, though T threatened suicide before fleeing with her
(02:17):
children, who had been awake andhiding during the attack.
Aisha drove erratically toward the hospital until a police
officer intercepted them and provided an escort.
The physical damage was severe, A gashed eye and cheek, a
knocked out tooth, blood streaming down her face.
This time, Aisha resolved to press charges, breaking the
(02:39):
pattern of covering up his abuse.
She had previously even lied to his probation officer at his
behest, staying home when bruises marked her skin.
Their history together stretchedback to when Aisha was 12 and T
was 16, a neighborhood boy who offered to protect her.
They reconnected 12 years later,but she didn't know about his
(03:02):
violent past, including an 8 year prison sentence for robbing
and pistol whipping a store owner at age 16.
The audio recording Aisha made proved crucial to his
conviction. In it, she deliberately
established that she had never cheated, stolen or disrespected
him, anticipating he might try to defame her character.
(03:25):
She had been a devoted wife, keeping an Immaculate home and
meeting his needs, yet still endured relentless abuse.
Their 13 year marriage was marked by escalating sexual
demands and manipulation. T struggled with his sexuality,
constantly pressuring Aisha for anal sex despite her tears and
(03:46):
refusals. He watched extensive pornography
and eventually demanded she participate in acts that left
her feeling violated and dehumanized.
The financial control was absolute, though T provided well
buying them a house outside Philadelphia and furnishing it
lavishly. It was all leverage to keep her
(04:06):
dependent. Any attempt by Aisha to work or
attend school was met with fierce opposition.
With three young children and noindependent income, she felt
trapped. The situation grew more complex
as TS sexual confusion deepened.He began watching specific types
of pornography and ultimately pressured Aisha into using sex
(04:27):
toys on him, insisting it wasn'tgay if a woman did it.
She later discovered hidden folders on his computer
containing both family photos and explicit material.
Their religious life offered no refuge, though they attended
church regularly with their children.
T weaponized their faith, using prayers and promises of change
(04:49):
to maintain control. The pastor's response to Aisha's
reports of abuse, merely prayingover them and sending them home,
contributed to her eventual departure from Christianity and
conversion to Islam. After escaping this marriage,
Aisha faced an even more devastating betrayal in her
second marriage to Elun Abdullah.
(05:11):
Despite careful vetting, including meeting his large
Muslim family, Abdullah sexuallyabused Aisha's daughter for over
a year while Aisha was at work, even taking the girl for an
abortion without Aisha's knowledge.
When confronted, Abdullah initially denied the abuse but
eventually admitted to it. Aisha worked methodically with
(05:33):
local authorities and detectivesto secure warrants for his
arrest, with the abortion clinicpaperwork providing crucial
evidence. The revelation devastated her.
She had specifically chosen Abdullah, believing his family
background made him safe around women.
Throughout both relationships, Aisha's primary concern was
(05:54):
protecting her children. She had stayed with Tea, partly
due to insecurities about raising her daughter without her
father. With Abdullah, she thought she
had found someone who would helpprotect her daughter while she
worked. The guilt of failing to prevent
her daughter's abuse weighs heavily on her.
Aisha's story illuminates the complex dynamics of domestic
(06:16):
abuse, how financial dependency,religious manipulation, concern
for children, and social isolation create nearly
inescapable traps. The escalation of violence when
victims try to leave makes escape particularly dangerous
without support systems in place.
(06:36):
Her experience also reveals how abusers use multiple forms of
control physical violence, sexual coercion, financial
restriction, and psychological manipulation.
TS ability to maintain a respectable public image while
privately terrorizing his familyis typical of many abusers.
(06:56):
The role of sexuality in the abuse adds another layer of
complexity. TS struggles with his sexual
identity, manifested in increasingly extreme demands on
Aisha while maintaining the facade of a traditional
marriage. His porn addiction and sexual
confusion became weapons of control and humiliation.
(07:19):
Aisha's journey from victim to survivor shows remarkable
resilience. She evolved from trying to be
the perfect wife to someone strong enough to leave press
charges and ultimately share herstory to help others.
Her message emphasizes the importance of trusting one's
instincts. If you have to question whether
something is wrong, it probably is.
(07:41):
The impact of abuse extends far beyond the immediate violence.
Aisha's children witnessed yearsof trauma hiding in their rooms
during attacks. Her daughter's later abuse by
Abdullah compounds the generational trauma.
Yet Aisha continues to speak out, turning her pain into a
warning and guidance for others trapped in similar situations.
(08:04):
Her story underscores the critical importance of
recognizing early warning signs and having escape plans and
support systems in place. The progression from control to
violence. The use of children as leverage,
the isolation from support networks.
These patterns repeat across many abuse cases.
By sharing her experience, Aishahelps others identify these red
(08:28):
flags before abuse escalates to life threatening levels.
My story is important because we're at a climax where
sexuality is being challenged and studied every day.
It's only best to hear experiences from people who are
actually living through it. Yes, I can.
(08:51):
I can. I can't agree more.
OK, take us back to the day thatlanded your husband in prison
for 10 years. The the day that that happened,
we had spoke briefly earlier that day about, you know, him,
(09:11):
him wanting to come home. He was just still like in that
just take me back mode. And I was just like adamant,
like, no, I spoke to a lawyer for getting a divorce.
You know, I'm serious this time because I've threatened to leave
numerous times before. But that particular day, I just
remember coming home with the kids.
(09:33):
I probably went to like APTA meeting that day, came home and
made some food. I felt good.
You know, I felt like this is itlike I'm, I'm out.
I don't have to worry about him anymore.
So I, I cooked everything and you know, me and the kids just
enjoyed our meal and we washed up and went to bed to get ready
(09:53):
for the next day. So I, I went to bed and
everything, when I, I was sleeping, I, I kind of like, I
don't know if you, if you're a light sleeper and you feel
somebody standing over you. It was kind of like that, Like I
was asleep and I just felt somebody standing over me.
And at the time he wasn't livingin a house.
(10:16):
Like we had got to the point where he had moved out and he
probably was out of the home fora good two months.
Nobody knew what was going on, but he was out of the home for
probably a good two months and like, well, I felt somebody
standing over me. So I kind of like opened my eyes
and it was him. And I was just like, you know,
it's hurry how you get in here because we had already made an
(10:39):
agreement that he would stay outof the house until I actually
moved out. And he was just like in the
dark. It was just like in the dark in
the doorway. And so I just immediately jumped
up. I didn't have any, you know,
clothes on. So I just jumped up and grab
some scrubs that I had in the drawer and I threw them on and
(11:00):
he was just like, I was like, how did you get in here?
And he was like, oh, I climbed through the window and I was
like, no, you didn't. You didn't climb through the
window because I locked it. And I made sure that I checked
all of the windows before I had actually went to bed that night.
So I knew for a fact he didn't come through the window.
He pretended to give me the key,but he had a copy of the key.
So all the whole time he knew hecould get back and forth and and
(11:23):
out of the house. I didn't know.
So it just was like that. So I just woke up and then it
just we he just went into his spiel of, you know, take me
back. You know, we're married.
You you can't get a divorce. Don't divorce me.
You said you would never leave and things like that.
And I just was like, Tyree, I'm tired, you know, I'm tired of
(11:44):
going through these things with you.
You keep finding a reason to putyour hands on me.
And it's just to the point now it's just like you won't wind up
killing me. Like he was my friend.
So I'll talk to him through through his violence, like, you
know, like, listen, you could hit me and not even mean to kill
me, you know, I could just hit my head on the table or some
shit like that, you know. So it was like I was trying to
(12:07):
be like as empathetic as possible in the beginning when
he first came in, like, look, you know, like we talked about
this. He just kept on going on and on
and kept me in the room for probably like four or five hours
just trying to convince me to stay with him.
And then once I finally was like, you know, I finally got
mad enough to like, raise my voice.
He just punched me. He just punched me.
(12:29):
I fell on the floor and he just kept punching me in my face.
And that's all I felt was him just punched me in my face.
And then he was just saying stuff like that.
You want to die tonight? Like this is what you wanted.
You're going to die like. And then he just started choking
me. And when he started choking me,
I kind of felt like I was passing out, like it was just
(12:51):
real hard for me to breathe. And I kind of was just like
fighting, you know, to get his hands off my neck.
And I kind of turned around to the side.
And when I turned around to the side, his finger went in my
mouth. And when his finger went in my
mouth, I just bit down. I just just bit every all the
blood, the bone, I felt the bonein his hand and everything.
(13:11):
And so then he kind of like, snapped out of it at that moment
because it was like, his eyes was black for a while.
And when I bit his hand, he kindof like, snapped out of and was
like, oh, shit. And he just looked at me and he
was like, like, pick me up off the floor and carried me in the
bathroom and started running thewater on me.
(13:31):
And he just was like, don't callthe cops on me.
Don't get locked up. So yeah, and after that, I kind
of was just like pleading with him to let me go to the
hospital. Meanwhile, the kids is in the
room. I was screaming for my, I was
screaming for help, but nobody, they they was young.
(13:52):
They wasn't going to come from out of their room.
So when I finally got him to letme go to the hospital, I was
just like, just let me go to thehospital.
I just feel like I'm about to pass out.
And he kind of like let me down the steps into the basement and
I just never forget going into that basement.
I felt like I was going to die right then and there because he
(14:13):
had so many tools and so many things like saws and bats and
and drills, all kinds of stuff was in the basement.
But I got out of the basement and I got into my car.
My truck was parked in the back of the house.
And when I got in the truck, he was just looking at me and he
was like, I'm killing myself. And he just ran off up the
(14:33):
street the other way. And I drove my car out the
alley, came around a block the long way and ran in the house.
And I called for all the three of the kids and they as soon as
they hurt me, they just ran downthe steps.
And we got in the car and we start driving and as I'm driving
to the emergency room, I'm swerving.
So a police officer was parked right there on Lindbergh Blvd.
(14:57):
He's seen me. He just was like pulled me over.
And then when he pulled, got up to the car, he was just escorted
me to the hospital and he was escorted me to the hospital.
And I never forget when I got inthere, he was he was just
looking at me. He was like you better press
chargers. Like he saw my face, like my
face was bloody. I had a gash right here that cut
inside my mouth, like my tooth on the inside went in my mouth.
(15:21):
So it was a big gash in the inside of my mouth that was
bleeding in the gash on the outside.
I had a gash down here from my tooth going in my face and my
tooth right here was knocked outfrom the root.
(15:45):
Yeah. Is your kids reacting while this
is going on? Do they hear it or they sleep
through it? They weren't asleep.
They were. They were literally hiding
behind their room doors at the time.
They wasn't asleep at all. Was this something that they
were used? To yes.
They heard the violence in the home regularly.
(16:11):
Is it ever occurred to you? Like maybe I'm not going to
press charges or did you know? No, I knew I had to press
charges. I knew I had to press charges
because he wasn't the type of person like he's done this
before. And I remember one time it got
so far as me calling his probation officer and he talked
(16:32):
me out of telling her the truth.He was that good of persuading
me not to press charges or, you know, just to go along with it.
Like if I was bruised up, I stayhome.
He he went to jail before for what?
The first time he went to jail, he went to jail for robbing the
store. And the ironic thing was the
(16:52):
store was on the corner of the block where I grew up.
I never knew it was him that robbed that Lady, but I remember
what that Lady face look like when he robbed her.
Miss Kim, I remember what her face look like.
She had a black eye, black and blue for a while.
He pistol whipped her. I didn't know that was him until
after we were together. And he would tell me.
Yeah, you know, I got locked up,so I robbed.
(17:15):
Oh, wow. That was.
You never know. And.
How much time did he do for that?
He did 8 years for that, but he was pretty young when he did
that, so he was like 16, about to be 17.
So when he did that, they let him go to jail.
He served some time and then he got out on probation or parole
or whatever, but he violated that because he got into a fight
(17:37):
with his then baby mom's husbandand he got in a fight with him,
which led him back to do the rest of his time.
So this was someone, a violent person, you've known him to be
violent? The thing about it was, is that
I I met Tyree when I was 12. He was probably 16.
(18:01):
He was a boy in the neighborhood.
I was new to the neighborhood. He was a boy in the
neighborhood. If I had to go anywhere, I had
to walk past his block and he was always outside.
So he was always like, hey, you are anybody messing with you?
You know, it was those type of, it was that type of
relationship. It wasn't that I knew him, knew
him, you know what I'm saying? And we met back up almost 12
(18:24):
years later. So it went from a childhood
crush to all right, I just ran into my childhood crush.
And this is at 16 years old whenyou meet him.
He goes to prison at 17 years old, which is a year later.
You told me he already had kids.He already had two children, 16
years old, and I didn't know that either.
I didn't know none of this untilI got or I was already involved
(18:48):
with him. OK, When we spoke, you told me
one of the things that you were able to convict him was a audio
recording. What was the details of the
audio recording? The details of the audio
recording was just a conversation of him.
Just like you hear me saying, you know, Tyree, I don't want to
(19:12):
do this anymore. I just want a divorce.
And he's like, well, I don't want a divorce.
You don't have any choice. And then you hear him saying
things like, well, we're married.
You, you don't have a choice. You just don't have a choice.
I don't want a divorce. I don't want a divorce.
And you just hear me constantly saying it's, it's, it's enough.
I don't want to do this anymore.And then I kind of got smart
(19:34):
with it at a point in time because I felt, I really felt
like that night I was going to die.
And I felt like he had the, the ability to make anything up
towards me. Oh, she ran away.
Oh, she just, she was cheated. So I started asking questions
like, did I ever cheat on you? I mean, because I need, I need
you to tell me what is the reason you feel like you could
keep putting your hands on me? Have I ever cheated on you?
(19:57):
That I ever steal from you, thatI ever disrespect you?
And he's like, no, no, no, you ain't never do none of that.
You ain't never do that. Why are you asking me that?
I said because I just wanted to be clear that I've never cheated
on you. I've never disrespect you and I
never stole from you. And in my mind, those are the
those are the type of women thatdeserve, if not deserve.
But if a man is going to put their hands on a woman, those
(20:17):
are the type of woman. Those things happen.
I didn't cheat. I never left my home.
My house was clean. He he was living a good life as
far as me as a wife. I made sure his clothes was
ironed, you know what I'm saying?
Before he went to work like I did everything.
Did you experience domestic violence as a kid?
To a certain extent, like my momand my dad was never together,
(20:39):
but I did, which the witness don't fight and I did know that
my dad hit women. Thanks for listening to No Tears
for Black Girls. If you enjoyed our show, please
take a moment to leave us a fivestar rating, Hit that subscribe
button and give us a follow on social media.
Your support means the world to us and helps us continue sharing
these important stories. Stay blessed, stay loved, and
(21:03):
most importantly, stay safe.
He always asked me for anal sex and if I refuse it was an
argument, it was a fight, it wasa challenge and sometimes he
would take it. He didn't care if I cried, he
didn't care if I was like no like he jailhouse rape anally.
The last time we went away for our anniversary I had enough.
It was like 2 years before the incident.
(00:21):
I was completely turned off, completely numb and I wasn't
scared of him anymore. I'd rather die than be still
living that type of life. Like being being to the point
where it's like you scared to goto bed at night because you
know, this man is won't ask you for sex and the type of sex he's
asking you for is not normal. It's painful and he don't care.
(00:44):
He don't care that you was up all day with three kids, you
know, maintaining a house, cooking and cleaning and doing
whatever it is you got to do. He don't care of your period on.
He don't care if you have a headache.
He don't care. I just started to feel like I
wasn't. I wasn't being loved anymore.
Aisha's harrowing story begins with a violent confrontation
(01:07):
that would ultimately lead to her husband's decade long
imprisonment. That night, after discussing
divorce and resolving to leave him, she had put her children to
bed with a sense of hope. However, her estranged husband
T, who had secretly kept a copy of his house key, appeared in
her doorway while she slept. The ensuing confrontation
(01:32):
exemplified the cycle of abuse that had dominated their
relationship. T trapped her in the room for
hours, alternating between pleading and threats.
When Aisha finally stood firm inher decision to leave, he
attacked her with devastating force, beating her and
attempting to strangle her. Only by biting his finger to the
(01:53):
bone did she manage to break hisgrip and survive.
The violence that night reached new heights of brutality.
After forcing her into the bathroom to clean her wounds,
Tea LED Aisha to their basement filled with tools that could
become weapons. She managed to escape to her
truck, though T threatened suicide before fleeing with her
(02:17):
children, who had been awake andhiding during the attack.
Aisha drove erratically toward the hospital until a police
officer intercepted them and provided an escort.
The physical damage was severe, A gashed eye and cheek, a
knocked out tooth, blood streaming down her face.
This time, Aisha resolved to press charges, breaking the
(02:39):
pattern of covering up his abuse.
She had previously even lied to his probation officer at his
behest, staying home when bruises marked her skin.
Their history together stretchedback to when Aisha was 12 and T
was 16, a neighborhood boy who offered to protect her.
They reconnected 12 years later,but she didn't know about his
(03:02):
violent past, including an 8 year prison sentence for robbing
and pistol whipping a store owner at age 16.
The audio recording Aisha made proved crucial to his
conviction. In it, she deliberately
established that she had never cheated, stolen or disrespected
him, anticipating he might try to defame her character.
(03:25):
She had been a devoted wife, keeping an Immaculate home and
meeting his needs, yet still endured relentless abuse.
Their 13 year marriage was marked by escalating sexual
demands and manipulation. T struggled with his sexuality,
constantly pressuring Aisha for anal sex despite her tears and
(03:46):
refusals. He watched extensive pornography
and eventually demanded she participate in acts that left
her feeling violated and dehumanized.
The financial control was absolute, though T provided well
buying them a house outside Philadelphia and furnishing it
lavishly. It was all leverage to keep her
(04:06):
dependent. Any attempt by Aisha to work or
attend school was met with fierce opposition.
With three young children and noindependent income, she felt
trapped. The situation grew more complex
as TS sexual confusion deepened.He began watching specific types
of pornography and ultimately pressured Aisha into using sex
(04:27):
toys on him, insisting it wasn'tgay if a woman did it.
She later discovered hidden folders on his computer
containing both family photos and explicit material.
Their religious life offered no refuge, though they attended
church regularly with their children.
T weaponized their faith, using prayers and promises of change
(04:49):
to maintain control. The pastor's response to Aisha's
reports of abuse, merely prayingover them and sending them home,
contributed to her eventual departure from Christianity and
conversion to Islam. After escaping this marriage,
Aisha faced an even more devastating betrayal in her
second marriage to Elun Abdullah.
(05:11):
Despite careful vetting, including meeting his large
Muslim family, Abdullah sexuallyabused Aisha's daughter for over
a year while Aisha was at work, even taking the girl for an
abortion without Aisha's knowledge.
When confronted, Abdullah initially denied the abuse but
eventually admitted to it. Aisha worked methodically with
(05:33):
local authorities and detectivesto secure warrants for his
arrest, with the abortion clinicpaperwork providing crucial
evidence. The revelation devastated her.
She had specifically chosen Abdullah, believing his family
background made him safe around women.
Throughout both relationships, Aisha's primary concern was
(05:54):
protecting her children. She had stayed with Tea, partly
due to insecurities about raising her daughter without her
father. With Abdullah, she thought she
had found someone who would helpprotect her daughter while she
worked. The guilt of failing to prevent
her daughter's abuse weighs heavily on her.
Aisha's story illuminates the complex dynamics of domestic
(06:16):
abuse, how financial dependency,religious manipulation, concern
for children, and social isolation create nearly
inescapable traps. The escalation of violence when
victims try to leave makes escape particularly dangerous
without support systems in place.
(06:36):
Her experience also reveals how abusers use multiple forms of
control physical violence, sexual coercion, financial
restriction, and psychological manipulation.
TS ability to maintain a respectable public image while
privately terrorizing his familyis typical of many abusers.
(06:56):
The role of sexuality in the abuse adds another layer of
complexity. TS struggles with his sexual
identity, manifested in increasingly extreme demands on
Aisha while maintaining the facade of a traditional
marriage. His porn addiction and sexual
confusion became weapons of control and humiliation.
(07:19):
Aisha's journey from victim to survivor shows remarkable
resilience. She evolved from trying to be
the perfect wife to someone strong enough to leave press
charges and ultimately share herstory to help others.
Her message emphasizes the importance of trusting one's
instincts. If you have to question whether
something is wrong, it probably is.
(07:41):
The impact of abuse extends far beyond the immediate violence.
Aisha's children witnessed yearsof trauma hiding in their rooms
during attacks. Her daughter's later abuse by
Abdullah compounds the generational trauma.
Yet Aisha continues to speak out, turning her pain into a
warning and guidance for others trapped in similar situations.
(08:04):
Her story underscores the critical importance of
recognizing early warning signs and having escape plans and
support systems in place. The progression from control to
violence. The use of children as leverage,
the isolation from support networks.
These patterns repeat across many abuse cases.
By sharing her experience, Aishahelps others identify these red
(08:28):
flags before abuse escalates to life threatening levels.
My story is important because we're at a climax where
sexuality is being challenged and studied every day.
It's only best to hear experiences from people who are
actually living through it. Yes, I can.
(08:51):
I can. I can't agree more.
OK, take us back to the day thatlanded your husband in prison
for 10 years. The the day that that happened,
we had spoke briefly earlier that day about, you know, him,
(09:11):
him wanting to come home. He was just still like in that
just take me back mode. And I was just like adamant,
like, no, I spoke to a lawyer for getting a divorce.
You know, I'm serious this time because I've threatened to leave
numerous times before. But that particular day, I just
remember coming home with the kids.
(09:33):
I probably went to like APTA meeting that day, came home and
made some food. I felt good.
You know, I felt like this is itlike I'm, I'm out.
I don't have to worry about him anymore.
So I, I cooked everything and you know, me and the kids just
enjoyed our meal and we washed up and went to bed to get ready
(09:53):
for the next day. So I, I went to bed and
everything, when I, I was sleeping, I, I kind of like, I
don't know if you, if you're a light sleeper and you feel
somebody standing over you. It was kind of like that, Like I
was asleep and I just felt somebody standing over me.
And at the time he wasn't livingin a house.
(10:16):
Like we had got to the point where he had moved out and he
probably was out of the home fora good two months.
Nobody knew what was going on, but he was out of the home for
probably a good two months and like, well, I felt somebody
standing over me. So I kind of like opened my eyes
and it was him. And I was just like, you know,
it's hurry how you get in here because we had already made an
(10:39):
agreement that he would stay outof the house until I actually
moved out. And he was just like in the
dark. It was just like in the dark in
the doorway. And so I just immediately jumped
up. I didn't have any, you know,
clothes on. So I just jumped up and grab
some scrubs that I had in the drawer and I threw them on and
(11:00):
he was just like, I was like, how did you get in here?
And he was like, oh, I climbed through the window and I was
like, no, you didn't. You didn't climb through the
window because I locked it. And I made sure that I checked
all of the windows before I had actually went to bed that night.
So I knew for a fact he didn't come through the window.
He pretended to give me the key,but he had a copy of the key.
So all the whole time he knew hecould get back and forth and and
(11:23):
out of the house. I didn't know.
So it just was like that. So I just woke up and then it
just we he just went into his spiel of, you know, take me
back. You know, we're married.
You you can't get a divorce. Don't divorce me.
You said you would never leave and things like that.
And I just was like, Tyree, I'm tired, you know, I'm tired of
(11:44):
going through these things with you.
You keep finding a reason to putyour hands on me.
And it's just to the point now it's just like you won't wind up
killing me. Like he was my friend.
So I'll talk to him through through his violence, like, you
know, like, listen, you could hit me and not even mean to kill
me, you know, I could just hit my head on the table or some
shit like that, you know. So it was like I was trying to
(12:07):
be like as empathetic as possible in the beginning when
he first came in, like, look, you know, like we talked about
this. He just kept on going on and on
and kept me in the room for probably like four or five hours
just trying to convince me to stay with him.
And then once I finally was like, you know, I finally got
mad enough to like, raise my voice.
He just punched me. He just punched me.
(12:29):
I fell on the floor and he just kept punching me in my face.
And that's all I felt was him just punched me in my face.
And then he was just saying stuff like that.
You want to die tonight? Like this is what you wanted.
You're going to die like. And then he just started choking
me. And when he started choking me,
I kind of felt like I was passing out, like it was just
(12:51):
real hard for me to breathe. And I kind of was just like
fighting, you know, to get his hands off my neck.
And I kind of turned around to the side.
And when I turned around to the side, his finger went in my
mouth. And when his finger went in my
mouth, I just bit down. I just just bit every all the
blood, the bone, I felt the bonein his hand and everything.
(13:11):
And so then he kind of like, snapped out of it at that moment
because it was like, his eyes was black for a while.
And when I bit his hand, he kindof like, snapped out of and was
like, oh, shit. And he just looked at me and he
was like, like, pick me up off the floor and carried me in the
bathroom and started running thewater on me.
(13:31):
And he just was like, don't callthe cops on me.
Don't get locked up. So yeah, and after that, I kind
of was just like pleading with him to let me go to the
hospital. Meanwhile, the kids is in the
room. I was screaming for my, I was
screaming for help, but nobody, they they was young.
(13:52):
They wasn't going to come from out of their room.
So when I finally got him to letme go to the hospital, I was
just like, just let me go to thehospital.
I just feel like I'm about to pass out.
And he kind of like let me down the steps into the basement and
I just never forget going into that basement.
I felt like I was going to die right then and there because he
(14:13):
had so many tools and so many things like saws and bats and
and drills, all kinds of stuff was in the basement.
But I got out of the basement and I got into my car.
My truck was parked in the back of the house.
And when I got in the truck, he was just looking at me and he
was like, I'm killing myself. And he just ran off up the
(14:33):
street the other way. And I drove my car out the
alley, came around a block the long way and ran in the house.
And I called for all the three of the kids and they as soon as
they hurt me, they just ran downthe steps.
And we got in the car and we start driving and as I'm driving
to the emergency room, I'm swerving.
So a police officer was parked right there on Lindbergh Blvd.
(14:57):
He's seen me. He just was like pulled me over.
And then when he pulled, got up to the car, he was just escorted
me to the hospital and he was escorted me to the hospital.
And I never forget when I got inthere, he was he was just
looking at me. He was like you better press
chargers. Like he saw my face, like my
face was bloody. I had a gash right here that cut
inside my mouth, like my tooth on the inside went in my mouth.
(15:21):
So it was a big gash in the inside of my mouth that was
bleeding in the gash on the outside.
I had a gash down here from my tooth going in my face and my
tooth right here was knocked outfrom the root.
(15:45):
Yeah. Is your kids reacting while this
is going on? Do they hear it or they sleep
through it? They weren't asleep.
They were. They were literally hiding
behind their room doors at the time.
They wasn't asleep at all. Was this something that they
were used? To yes.
They heard the violence in the home regularly.
(16:11):
Is it ever occurred to you? Like maybe I'm not going to
press charges or did you know? No, I knew I had to press
charges. I knew I had to press charges
because he wasn't the type of person like he's done this
before. And I remember one time it got
so far as me calling his probation officer and he talked
(16:32):
me out of telling her the truth.He was that good of persuading
me not to press charges or, you know, just to go along with it.
Like if I was bruised up, I stayhome.
He he went to jail before for what?
The first time he went to jail, he went to jail for robbing the
store. And the ironic thing was the
(16:52):
store was on the corner of the block where I grew up.
I never knew it was him that robbed that Lady, but I remember
what that Lady face look like when he robbed her.
Miss Kim, I remember what her face look like.
She had a black eye, black and blue for a while.
He pistol whipped her. I didn't know that was him until
after we were together. And he would tell me.
Yeah, you know, I got locked up,so I robbed.
(17:15):
Oh, wow. That was.
You never know. And.
How much time did he do for that?
He did 8 years for that, but he was pretty young when he did
that, so he was like 16, about to be 17.
So when he did that, they let him go to jail.
He served some time and then he got out on probation or parole
or whatever, but he violated that because he got into a fight
(17:37):
with his then baby mom's husbandand he got in a fight with him,
which led him back to do the rest of his time.
So this was someone, a violent person, you've known him to be
violent? The thing about it was, is that
I I met Tyree when I was 12. He was probably 16.
(18:01):
He was a boy in the neighborhood.
I was new to the neighborhood. He was a boy in the
neighborhood. If I had to go anywhere, I had
to walk past his block and he was always outside.
So he was always like, hey, you are anybody messing with you?
You know, it was those type of, it was that type of
relationship. It wasn't that I knew him, knew
him, you know what I'm saying? And we met back up almost 12
(18:24):
years later. So it went from a childhood
crush to all right, I just ran into my childhood crush.
And this is at 16 years old whenyou meet him.
He goes to prison at 17 years old, which is a year later.
You told me he already had kids.He already had two children, 16
years old, and I didn't know that either.
I didn't know none of this untilI got or I was already involved
(18:48):
with him. OK, When we spoke, you told me
one of the things that you were able to convict him was a audio
recording. What was the details of the
audio recording? The details of the audio
recording was just a conversation of him.
Just like you hear me saying, you know, Tyree, I don't want to
(19:12):
do this anymore. I just want a divorce.
And he's like, well, I don't want a divorce.
You don't have any choice. And then you hear him saying
things like, well, we're married.
You, you don't have a choice. You just don't have a choice.
I don't want a divorce. I don't want a divorce.
And you just hear me constantly saying it's, it's, it's enough.
I don't want to do this anymore.And then I kind of got smart
(19:34):
with it at a point in time because I felt, I really felt
like that night I was going to die.
And I felt like he had the, the ability to make anything up
towards me. Oh, she ran away.
Oh, she just, she was cheated. So I started asking questions
like, did I ever cheat on you? I mean, because I need, I need
you to tell me what is the reason you feel like you could
keep putting your hands on me? Have I ever cheated on you?
(19:57):
That I ever steal from you, thatI ever disrespect you?
And he's like, no, no, no, you ain't never do none of that.
You ain't never do that. Why are you asking me that?
I said because I just wanted to be clear that I've never cheated
on you. I've never disrespect you and I
never stole from you. And in my mind, those are the
those are the type of women thatdeserve, if not deserve.
But if a man is going to put their hands on a woman, those
(20:17):
are the type of woman. Those things happen.
I didn't cheat. I never left my home.
My house was clean. He he was living a good life as
far as me as a wife. I made sure his clothes was
ironed, you know what I'm saying?
Before he went to work like I did everything.
Did you experience domestic violence as a kid?
To a certain extent, like my momand my dad was never together,
(20:39):
but I did, which the witness don't fight and I did know that
my dad hit women. Thanks for listening to No Tears
for Black Girls. If you enjoyed our show, please
take a moment to leave us a fivestar rating, Hit that subscribe
button and give us a follow on social media.
Your support means the world to us and helps us continue sharing
these important stories. Stay blessed, stay loved, and
(21:03):
most importantly, stay safe.
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