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February 9, 2025 17 mins

Is there any way to talk about religion gracefully?  Or must awkwardness prevail?  In this OK Boomer podcast with Sydney, awkwardness began and ended the program, but as for the middle...?

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Do you find those after-dinner games between the generations exciting?
Here's my favorite, Monopoly.
Monopoly on the Truth.
To play Monopoly on the Truth, all you need to do is
to think that your opinion is better than everyone else's, and you
don't even need a playing board, okay?
Okay, Boomer.

(00:20):
Well, actually, it's not okay, because though Monopoly on the Truth is
exciting, and agitating, and aggravating, and...
Stop!
Okay, kid, and it will be okay, because a Boomer, me, and

(00:44):
Sidney at Gen Z will break the rules of the game and
agree on something.
I'm Robert Rickman, your Okay Boomer, and in this podcast, we'll bring
the generations together to agree on anything.
Sidney Garrett and I are separated by about 50 years and 100
miles.
Sidney lives in Huntsville, Alabama, and I reside in Chattanooga, Tennessee,

(01:06):
and given the subject matter, I expected this podcast would open on
an awkward note, and it did, but not the way I had
expected.
Well, Sidney, how are you?
I'm great.
How are you?
Well, I'm not too sure about this thing.
We're going to be talking about a touchy subject.
It's not a comfortable thing for me to talk about, just because

(01:29):
of some of my experiences, and I know it's not comfortable for
you either because of your experiences, but I figure, what the hell?
I'm sorry.
I'm going to have to clean up my language for this odd
video.
Okay, please forgive me.

(01:50):
But Sidney, while we're on a touchy, uncomfortable subject, tell me what
happened to you and your religion and what it was.
So I grew up in a non-denominational church.
I attended several different churches in my childhood.
My family was very involved in Sunday service and throughout the rest

(02:11):
of the week, and I think with the topic of religion, sometimes
it's very difficult for me to engage in those conversations because it
brings up a lot of things that have happened.
A lot of it has tied to the mental health conversation and
sometimes people not being open to talking about mental health within the
religious context, and other times it is people in leadership that shouldn't

(02:36):
be in leadership because their teachings are demeaning to youth or to
women, to people within the LGBTQ plus community, and I think these
are all things that tie very heavily to how I am now
today and why I do advocate for the things that I advocate
for.
So even though it was very rough in some of those situations,

(02:58):
you grow and you learn, and I think at the end of
it, I've become a more compassionate human because of it.
I think I have too.
What I have seen, I think, is something that in any religion,
whether it be Catholicism or maybe even Hindi, there is a message

(03:24):
of love and compassion and doing the right thing, and I think
when the wrong people get a hold of that, they can play
around with it technically and turn it against other people.
Is that your impression?
I think it definitely depends on the context, right?
I mean, I think it depends because there can be a bunch

(03:45):
of people even within, if you're just talking about like non-denominational
churches, for instance, so it's not Catholicism, it's not Hindi religion.
I think it depends on the person and how they read scripture
or how they interpret religion because, I mean, we're all human, right?
And I think the fact that we're all human, we're all imperfect,
so the things that we can do, the words that we say,

(04:07):
the actions that we take, it all boils down to the individual
person.
So even though there might be compassion and love throughout scripture, let's
say, for example, people that inherently don't believe in that or aren't
willing to step into that compassion and love, that's kind of when
things slip the script.

(04:27):
And so I think when talking about religion in general is a
very nuanced conversation, I think that's why a lot of people are
afraid to go into it.
I know from my own experiences, and we can only speak from
our personal experiences, I think a lot of the times, a lot
of the church has come from people abusing scripture or not understanding

(04:47):
the context behind it or who are wanting to use it as
a power tool in order to diminish or demean other people that
are under them or under their leadership.
But when we go to what an actual leader means and the
definition of a leader, those people wouldn't technically be called leaders
because leaders are supposed to uplift the people and encourage the people

(05:09):
that look to them for guidance and for leadership to be an
example of what a good teacher is and to be a good
example of just what a loving, compassionate, open human is.
But I think for those experiences, I think it all boils down
to the individual person and how we all perceive things, which is
why it's sometimes very difficult to talk about it as a whole

(05:30):
because there could be people that believe the same thing as you
do, but the actions that you take are very different.
So it's always hit or miss.
Yep.
Let me give you an example of what happened to me.
Now, of course, I'm a boomer.
I'm 71 years old, and I grew up in the Catholic Church

(05:51):
during the Fire and Brimstone era.
And I was in the confessional, and I forgot the act of
contrition, and the priest went off.
You will go home and study the act of contrition, and you
will come back into the church, and you will...
Well, his voice echoed through the church, even though we were in

(06:14):
a confessional.
My mother was embarrassed.
That was the primary response, embarrassment.
And so she took me home and made me study the act
of contrition until I memorized it.
Then we drove back to church.
I went back in the confessional with another priest, and that was
it.
But to me, two things.

(06:34):
First, I actually forgot it.
I have ADHD.
I didn't know it at the time that the diagnosis didn't exist.
I didn't understand why I was angry other than the fact that
I had forgotten the act of contrition, and why he blew up
and chewed me out over it, I don't know, because contrition is

(06:55):
you're feeling contrite.
You want to be forgiven for your sins.
So I saw quite a bit of that.
Many times, we would do catechism and memorize things, and I had
no idea what I was memorizing.
I had a vague idea of what the act of contrition was.
Many of the words, I couldn't understand.
I was about seven or eight years old.

(07:16):
Now, have you had a similar instance that you could tell me
about?
I'm not a similar instance, but there have definitely been moments that
have tied themselves to me, and I think I still hold on
to today, and it's really hard for me to navigate around them.
But I was under youth leadership when I was part of a

(07:38):
youth group, and I was one of the leaders in the youth
group, and I remember the youth pastor.
I was wanting to get my friends involved with fundraising for the
Make-A-Wish Foundation at the time, which was kind of how
Be the Change Youth Initiative, which is the non-profit that my
family and I started, how that all began.
And so I was getting all my friends involved, and a lot
of us were part of the same youth group, and the youth

(08:00):
pastor found out about what we were doing and actually discouraged my
friends from getting involved.
And there was this whole thing, and it was really hard to
see someone that was a leader of youth who was actually demeaning
and saying that our gifts weren't good enough, that we were too
young to make a difference, that we should only be looking up
to adults and you have to be an adult in order to

(08:22):
do things.
And the way that he was saying it was just very awful.
What do you think his motive was?
I don't know, to be honest.
And I think if I think about it too much, I'll just
get in my head, and I think that's kind of when you
have to just learn that things happen, and you sometimes never understand

(08:42):
why people do the things that they do.
And I think sometimes if you're stuck in that same situation, it's
hard to just move forward.
So it's kind of just like I've dealt with it, and it
happened the way that it happened, and how do we move forward
and learn from those things?
As sucky as they are, you kind of just have to grow

(09:03):
and learn from it.
And what can I take in order to make sure that I
don't do those things to other people, right?
My experience was I did not live in a nurturing family.
It was kind of like, and since I was the oldest one,
I was the one that got yelled at most of the time,
and many times I didn't understand why.

(09:23):
Now, from what you've told me before, you were brought up in
a nurturing family, yet your experiences in the church badly, it affected
you psychologically badly.
Why would that be?
I would think that your parents would have told you, you know,
don't listen to this guy.
He's not supportive.

(09:44):
So what happened in your own mind where you're carrying the so
-called baggage around?
Well, I think I always have this conversation with people, too.
It really doesn't matter how many times in your life people are
encouraging.
It always tends to be the discouraging or the negative comments that
people make to you or about you that you hold on to

(10:06):
the most.
So you could have 100 of encouraging comments that people say, and
then you also could have one or two that people are just
wanting to be incredibly mean or discouraging.
Then you just tend to hold on to those, and I couldn't
go into why that's the case.

(10:26):
I know in my personal life, that has always been, because just
in my own mindset, I tend to hold on to a lot
of the negative things, and I'm always thinking about, all right, I
have to be realistic.
What are the realistic worst-case scenarios?
A lot of that balances on pessimism, working on that.
In full honesty, but I think because my mind just tends to

(10:48):
go to, what are all the things that could happen that are
negative?
What are the positive outcomes that could come out of it as
well?
But because my mind always goes there, I tend to just hold
on to the worst case, the worst case scenario.
What are all the negative things?
How old are you?
I'm 23 now.
Okay.

(11:08):
I'm just learning how to think the way you're trying to think.
I mean, I've just started to do this within the last five
years, so you're a lot more advanced than I am, even though
I'm a baby boomer, and we know everything, as you know.
Now, despite all of this, you have retained your faith.

(11:32):
Has it affected all these negative experiences with the Church?
Have they affected your faith?
Oh, yes.
I've had to do a lot of soul searching and a lot
of inner work to separate the difference between faith and religion.
I think religion has, especially within an institutional church, it has become

(11:56):
a very difficult thing for either people to grasp, or we've just
lost sight of the action of why we believe what we believe
in the first place, and how what we believe can take root
in positive action in helping other people around us, which is going
back to that love and compassion element.
So I think there's been a separation where I've had to learn

(12:17):
how to see the difference between what I did grow up in
and the negative things that have happened and how that doesn't affect
the way that I want to live out my life and the
way that I want to represent what I believe.
So I follow Jesus.
That is my faith, and I believe in his teachings, and I
want to do the best that I can in order to walk

(12:40):
out the love that he walked out to other people who are
different from him.
I think it's really admirable, and I respect it a lot.
And so for me, it's like boiling it down to the simple
actions of just extending love to people all over.
That's kind of what you have to do.
But yeah, that's kind of where I'm at right now.
But I can tell you, I haven't attended a church service in

(13:04):
a while.
I've done some visits, but I haven't been part of an actual
Sunday church congregation in a very long time.
But— Richard Averbeck Well, neither have I.
And I became agnostic for a while, and now I still have
a faith, but it's nothing like a Christian faith.
It was more like Einstein and him thinking that the universe is

(13:30):
so well organized, there's got to be something over it.
So that's as far as I've come.
Now, your organization, you're trying to correct some of this stuff, and
I agree just about with everything you said.
It's quite plausible.
What are you doing to try to make Christianity more Christian?

(13:51):
Lauren Geertsen That's a very interesting question.
The organization isn't faith-based.
The nonprofit isn't faith-based.
But I think because I am faithful and my family is, a
lot of the work has just bled from our desire to help

(14:11):
other people around us and to build a genuine community that shows
up for one another.
We create resources and tools that other people can use to benefit
their own mental health by saying, I have purpose and I have
value.
I think one of the biggest things that we've found is when
you give people an opportunity to do what they do best, to

(14:31):
use their gifts and talents, to advocate for the things that they're
passionate about, it's already showing them that I have purpose here.
I have something to contribute to make the world a better place.
We're all about creating those tools and resources for people to use.
So whether you're a kid from ages 5 to 17 who wants
to get involved, or you're an adult who has kids, or just

(14:53):
an adult in general that wants to find ways to give back
in the community, we try to create programming that everyone can get
involved with.
Whether it's volunteering, or if you're an artist, or a creative, or
a business person, if you're a local nonprofit owner, there's something for
everyone.
I think I really take a lot of...

(15:13):
I'm just really proud of the fact that we've created something that
everyone can get involved in and see that they all have something
to bring to the table.
Because at the end of the day, I think that's a big
part of faith is everyone's welcome and everyone deserves to be loved
and to be seen and heard.
As long as we're creating a platform to do that, then that's

(15:35):
all that matters.
Well, I can agree with all of that.
You have the boomer and the Generation Z agreeing on something.
It's been one hell of an interview.
I mean, goodness gracious, this has been a...

(15:55):
Imagine if I were in the conventional back then.
What would have happened?
I would have been condemned to hate.
Anyway, Sydney, it was a pleasure talking with you.
You have a nice view from your balcony.
And my balcony overlooks...
Well, actually, it looks up at Signal Mountain in Chattanooga.
And I hope to connect with you again.

(16:17):
And I appreciate the interview.
Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
So what did the boomer guy and the Z lady agree on?
Be honest with yourself and don't twist your faith around to fit
your selfish impulses.
Sydney Garrett represents an organization called Be the Change Youth

(16:38):
Initiative.
The mission of Be the Change is for all youth to be
seen, heard, and loved.
Be the Change favors civil dialogue like Sydney and I just had.
Be the Change promotes conversation, not conflict.
And monopoly on the truth is banned from the room.
Check out Sydney at, and this is all one word, BeTheChangeYi.com.

(17:03):
All together, BeTheChangeYi, then dot com.
For Gen Z's Sydney Garrett, I'm OK Boomer Robert Rickman.
OK Boomer!
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