October 16, 2024 • 26 mins
In today’s episode of Permission to Flow, host and career transition coach Jessica Hwang dives deep into our relationship with the word "hard" and how it can hold us back from making essential life changes. Jessica opens up about her personal journey, sharing stories about how a simple shift in mindset helped her overcome the belief that something new is "hard" or "impossible." With the aim of helping first- and second-generation women navigate their transitions from corporate jobs to creative careers, Jessica unpacks the profound impact of negative thinking and how it forms self-limiting beliefs.
Throughout the episode, Jessica provides actionable strategies to reframe challenges, transforming the perception of "hard" tasks into opportunities for growth and learning. By questioning the notion of difficulty, embracing challenges, and using affirmations like "make the impossible possible," listeners are encouraged to dismantle their mental barriers. Jessica’s relatable anecdotes, including her transition to a weekly podcast schedule and the adoption of a mindset of curiosity and compassion, serve as inspiring examples of what’s possible when one shifts their perspective. Tune in for practical insights and motivation to help you step outside your comfort zone and pursue your dreams with renewed vigor.
Visit jessicahwangcoaching.com to explore more resources and coaching opportunities designed to support your journey from corporate to creative career paths.
Quotes from the episode:
"In January or February, I thought these things were impossible. You know, there were things in there that I thought I could never figure out. And guess what? I did."
"Frickin challenge accepted."
"Is it hard or is it new? Is it hard, or is it outside of our comfort zone?"
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: @jessicahwangcoaching
Facebook: Jessica Hwang Coaching
Website: Jessica Hwang Coaching
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Even if you go back a week, a month,a year
there, I bet youthere are so many challenges
that you have overcomethat you're not paying attention to.
And so our ability to go, oh,catching the fact that we've been calling
this hard or impossible and go, no,I'm going to make the impossible possible.
That right there is going to completelychange your life.
(00:23):
That alone.
Welcome to Permission to Flow.
This podcast is dedicatedto lighting the way towards
greatercreativity, purpose and inner peace.
I'm your host, Jessica Wong.
I'm a second generationTaiwanese American.
I spent ten yearschasing the so-called American Dream
(00:44):
while working in corporate finance,before making the pivot into my own path
as a career transition coach, podcaster,and dharma yoga instructor.
There are combination of courageand curiosity.
I built a career and life that is aligned
with my unique talents and authentic self.
(01:05):
Now I'm on a mission to helpfirst and second generation women
leave behind the corporate grindand pivot to a creative career.
Whether you want to be an artist, writer,yoga instructor, entrepreneur,
or any other creative venture,it's time to give yourself permission
to flow, exploreand create the life that you want.
(01:28):
The world needs what you will create.
Now let's dive in to today's show.
So the
word hard is something that we sayto ourselves all the time.
This thing is too hard.
I don't know if I can do it.
Our our minds tend to go into this
negative thinking, especiallywhen we're trying to start something new.
(01:50):
And let's face it.
The path to changing your life
requires you to do new things.
I hate to say it right,
but that's the realityis that we have to learn new things.
We have to take on new challengesin the path of becoming the person
that we want to be, in the path
of creating the life that we really wantto create for ourselves.
(02:10):
And so this constant talking
about telling ourselvesthat things are hard is holding us back.
So how do we get past this?
Here's the thing.
Let me tell you
a little bit of a background storyof why this, this episode came to being.
This was me.
This was me all the time.
(02:31):
I constantly was telling myselfthat things were hard or difficult
or impossible, and I was kind of
just holding myself back all the time.
And, and it's interesting because this isexactly the power of coaching.
The reasonwhy this episode came to being is
my coach called me out on it.
(02:54):
My coach DL in one of our coachingsessions was like,
hey, you got to change.
You got to stop saying that.
Things are hard.
And I it literally blew my mindbecause I did not realize I was doing it.
And I love doing this for my clients.
Every so often it's I notice them
(03:15):
repeatedly saying some wordthat is just this word.
It seems innocuous, but in realityit is something that because
we keep doing it over and over again,we are in essence telling ourselves
like it's going to be hard, it'sgoing to be difficult.
And and we're making it.
So I wanted to talk a little bitabout my journey on really changing
my own mindsetabout things being hard and,
(03:38):
and some of the tips and tricks thatI've found along the way that have helped
me really change my relationshipwith with things being hard.
So that's the back story of how I started
to change my own relationshipwith the word hard.
So in this episode, we're going totalk about it from three different angles.
The first is really catching ourselveseven when we're calling things hard.
(04:00):
The second is really questioning itand asking, why are we calling it hard?
And the third is really being ableto embrace the challenge.
So that's whatwe're going to talk about in this episode.
And and I hope by the end of ityou will start changing your own
relationship with the word hardand maybe use it a little bit less.
All right. So let's jump in.
The first thing I want to talk aboutis catching ourselves calling things hard.
(04:24):
I had no idea that I was evencalling things hard all the time.
You know, it's one of those things wherewe just say things without realizing it.
But I want you to pay attention
to the way that you talk about somethingthat you are trying to work towards.
So if you're starting something new,if you're like, hey, in order for me
to change my lifeto to become the thing that I want to do
(04:46):
to, you know, write that book or,you know, start
this, start teaching yoga classesor whatever the case may be.
I want you to
notice how you're explaining or describing
that if you were to be talkingto, let's say, a friend.
Right.
When you're going to your friend,
are you saying, oh, my God,I really want to start up these classes.
(05:08):
I really want to do this.
Start writing this novel.
But it's just so freaking hard.
And I want you to noticeif you're calling this new thing hard.
Because the first thing
to ever making a change for ourselvesis identifying where we're doing it.
And so I just want you to pay attentionto anything that you are calling hard
(05:29):
or difficult or downright impossible.
That's that's the real kicker, right?
Is when you call somethingliterally impossible, you're literally
putting up a wall and saying, well,that can't be done.
And and so you're telling your brainit can't be done.
So I was thinking about thisthe other day.
I keep a bullet journal and it's somethingthat has just I don't know,
(05:49):
it's a little like art project for me,as well as just keeping track of my life.
And when I was creating the cover art,I guess you could call it for this year,
I literally wrote I was if you'rewatching on YouTube, you can see it.
Otherwise I'll I don't knowif it's going to be backwards.
Now we'll fix it.
Anyway,it says 2024 make the impossible possible.
(06:13):
And then on the other side, I wrotewhat is meant for
you will never pass you by firm beliefthat I sit in now.
And I was funny because I was reflectingon the fact that I wrote
make the Impossible Possibleand and just the power of those words.
It has been downrighttransformative for me.
(06:33):
This year, because every time that I am
sitting with a challengeor sitting with something difficult,
I think to myself, well,I'm going to make the impossible possible.
And the moment you start to changeand catch where you're calling something
difficult, hard, impossible,like all these kind of words
(06:55):
that are putting upwalls essentially. Right?
They're putting up mental walls.
They're going, it cannot be done.
It's like
saying to yourself, well,I'm going to make the impossible possible
starts to kind of shift that and go,oh, well, it's not actually impossible.
And, and I think it's,that's the thing, right?
(07:17):
Is, is we're, we're slowlytrying to take down these walls
that are blocking ourselves from the thingthat we really want to be doing, from
the thing that we really want to learnor experience or whatever the case may be,
and instead going, yes,of course it can be done.
Maybe it's just saying it's possible.
That's kind of step one, right?
(07:39):
Of kind of moving yourselftowards the ability to do something
is even just telling yourselfit is possible.
And and so,you know, catching yourself doing it.
Find evidencelike find examples of things of ways
in which like this is possibleof other people who have done it, or ways
(08:00):
that you've taken things
that seemed impossible at one pointin your life and made them possible.
Because I bet youthere are plenty of examples of that
that you might not be paying attention to.
There are so many. It was so interesting.
I'm telling a lot of stories today,but I was looking back,
I, I keep a journal and I, I'ma really, really intensive journal hour.
(08:24):
And the other day,I was looking back at my journal
from the beginning of this year,
and I was kind of thumbingthrough some of the pages, looking through
and reading things that I was strugglingwith at that time.
You know, in January,February of this year.
And and I was like, wow,
in January or February,I thought these things were impossible.
(08:48):
You know, there were things in therethat I thought I could never figure out.
And guess what I did with this podcastat the beginning of the year,
I thought it would be absolutelyimpossible to go to weekly episodes.
That was something that I had told myself,oh my God, that's hard.
That's impossible.
It cannot be done.
(09:09):
Well guess what?
I'm literally doing it right now.
So that is what is so interestingis how much we put these walls
up against
saying that something can't be done,and we tell ourselves it's impossible,
but I'm telling you, like,look for examples of things that you once
thought were impossible and now comealmost like second nature to you,
(09:31):
because I'm certain that you have overcomeso many things.
Even if you go back a week,a month, a year
there, I bet youthere are so many challenges
that you have overcomethat you're not paying attention to.
And so our ability to go, oh,catching the fact that we've been calling
this hard or impossible and go, no,I'm going to make the impossible possible.
(09:54):
That right there is going to completelychange your life.
That alone.
So that is kind of the first thingthat I want you
to think about is really noticingwhere it is that you are using
this kind of language aroundsomething that you are trying to start
and not trying around somethingyou are starting
(10:16):
and and being able to shift yourselfto saying, okay, absolutely.
This is possible.
Absolutely.
This this isn't this isn't hard.
Now that we've talkedabout catching ourselves,
calling things hard or difficult.
The second thing I want to talk aboutis really questioning it.
And I love this idea of questioning, like,why have we consider this thing hard?
(10:39):
It goes into this idea of like, is it hardor is it new?
Is it hardor is it outside of our comfort zone?
Is it hardor is it just something that no one around
you is doing,noticing and questioning? Why?
Why are we calling it hard?
Why have we decided that this thingis difficult or impossible or hard?
(11:00):
And oftentimesit's one of those things, right?
It's like,
think about the factthat if if no one around you
is doing the thing that you're doing,of course you're going to think it's hard
because you don't have examplesof anyone ever having done it before.
And I think that this is so normal. Right.
It's like,oh, you feel like the odd man out.
And and it's interesting, this whole thingaround, like being a black sheep
(11:23):
or going against the grain.
It's something that is, is going outsideof that comfort zone
and it makes us uncomfortable.
And so then we're going, oh, it's hard,it's impossible, it's difficult.
But it's mostly justthat we've never seen it done before in,
in, at least in the people that we know.
But that doesn'tmean that you can't do it.
(11:46):
And I want you to remember that.
Right.
And and so maybe it isbreaking outside of that comfort zone.
Maybe it is something new, butthat doesn't mean that it's impossible.
It just means that it'sgoing to take some learning.
It's going to require some curiosity,
some compassion with yourselfas you're figuring it out.
(12:08):
It's going to take some time and effort.
That's all that means.
And here's one of my favorite things.
So I, I was thinking back to the movie
Legally Blond with, Elle Woods at thebeginning, when she gets into Harvard,
someone asks her how she got into Harvard,and she goes, what?
(12:31):
Like it's hard.
I am literally obsessed with this phraseand I have been utilizing it
all over the place latelybecause it is so freaking powerful.
The moment I notice myself callingsomething hard, all I go to myself is go.
What? Like it's hard.
And something about that, that
(12:52):
that kind of nonchalance around it going,of course it can be done.
That attitude makes it so.
And I think that this isthe thing is our, our,
our minds are so gearedtowards towards a negativity bias.
Right.
Like we're geared towards,
towards going negative on thingsand thinking
that they are going to be hardor difficult or impossible.
(13:14):
And, and so when you ask yourselfthis question, what like it's hard,
your brain starts to go,oh, of course it isn't hard.
And let me start coming up with ideaslike it breaks itself out of this
kind of fixed box that we can kind ofthink in and thinking that like,
oh, it needs to be done this wayand it needs to look this way.
(13:36):
And it's like when we go, what?
Like it's hard.
It's like we allow ourselves a little bitmore space to start brainstorming,
to start getting curious,to find a different solution
outside of whatever our brains have,have already been telling us.
Right.
And, and it's interesting me,because I think about this
with so many different challengesthat I've come across.
(13:58):
And, you know, recently,one of my biggest challenges
was that I was strugglingwith making short form content.
This has been an ongoing thing that I'veconstantly been telling myself as hard.
And it was interesting because, I was
I've been working with my,my collaborator Travis,
and he was like, hey, we're going to shoot62nd reels, okay?
(14:23):
You're going to like, this is this is
what we're going to do going forwardso that it can go on YouTube and whatnot.
And my brain went,oh my God, I can't do that.
It's so hard.
I've been struggling with this for monthsnow and it's impossible.
And and it was so funny because I,I kind of cooked in that mindset
(14:44):
for the rest of the nightafter we were, talking about this.
And then the next morning, I don't know,like, I, I just had this thought.
Well, I really started to ask myself what?
Like it's hard and suddenly just as sayingthat to myself.
Like it's not hard.
Like I can figure this out.
(15:05):
It just started to unravel.
The the thing, the blocks within myselfthat were holding me back from, from even
broaching the idea of us calling it hardor difficult or impossible,
it causes us to not even want to start.
We don't even take the first stepbecause we've already labeled it this way.
(15:26):
We've already been calling it hard,
and it's like our brainsdon't want to do hard things.
We're just like, no, back away.
Let's not. Right.
And so instead,
when you're saying yourselfwhat, like it's hard, you're you're
kind of just embracing the fact that,like, you're going to figure it out, like,
obviously you can and and it's justit becomes so casual
(15:50):
instead of this kind of literally like I'mthinking of like a hard surface, right?
That wall feeling,you're instead kind of softening it,
you're softeningthe wall, you're making it squishy.
This is such a weird analogy
that I've created,but we're going to go with it, right?
But let's think of it literallythink of it that way, right?
(16:10):
When we when we're calling it hard,you're literally putting a hard surface
in front of yourself.
You're saying there's a wall here.
I cannot get past it.
That's what your brain is doing.
You're literally
putting a wall in front of you andwhatever it is that you want to be doing.
And when we ask ourselvesthe question of what?
Like it's hard, you'reyou're making the wall kind of squishy
(16:33):
and you're allowing yourselfto be able to break it down.
You're allowed.
It's like, oh,now it's made up of little like, soft
blocks,and I can take one piece down at a time.
I'm like in this analogy.
Right.So it's it's now become a foam wall.
It's nowbecome a foam wall that is pieces.
And you can take the pieces down.
(16:55):
And that is how we overcomethese challenges.
We change it from this hard surfaceto being something
soft and squishy and go, okay,I can work with this.
So now that we've talkedabout catching ourselves, calling it hard
and and turning it into a squishy wall,no, I'm kidding.
Questioning it, questioningwhy we've decided it is hard.
(17:16):
The last thingwhich is really embracing the challenge.
And I love this one.
So it's interesting,I, I was thinking about this recently,
actually, when I was thinking aboutthat whole situation with making reels.
I was thinking about this whole thing of
I have a different mindsetaround challenges.
(17:39):
I think than than maybe your average person.
And and it's funnybecause my, my best friend and I,
I'm going to have to ask herwhere this actually came from.
But we always had this thingparticular with me where we would
always joke around this whole phraseof where's the challenge?
And, and I think it's, it's something that
(18:01):
I've just had
about me for a really long time whereit's like, whenever things are happening,
I, I'm actually almost lookingfor the challenge in the way.
And, and so it was always this thing
where I, I like embrace a good challenge.
I want to I love problem solving.
(18:22):
I love figuring things out.
And and I think this goes alongwith that kind of,
you know, curiosity is like a super corevalue of mine.
And and so to me, it's,
it's it's fun to have a challenge.
I think life is meant to be filledwith challenges.
I think in many ways,I've always had this kind of mentality
(18:45):
of wanting to of asking,where is the challenge?
Meaning something along the lines of I,I want the challenge, right?
I want to be challenged because that to meis the only way that we grow.
And and right alongsidethat is one of my favorite things
to saynow is, is the phrase challenge accepted?
(19:07):
So when I catch myself callingsomething hard or difficult or impossible,
I, I like to to be like, well,where's the challenge?
And then the next thing I say to myselfis like, frickin challenge accepted.
When we look at it, it's it'salmost like making it into a game.
And, and I think that this is suchan important thing around, especially
when we're trying to do hard, hard things
(19:30):
or things outside of our comfort zone.
I love to make things into a game,and so to me, something about saying
challenge accepted feels like you'retaking on the challenge, right?
You're you're going to go up against this,this obstacle in your way
and face it head on, and it feels likeslaying the dragon or something like that.
(19:52):
And, you know, I, I just love the ideaof, of kind of really bringing it
closer and like,
embracing the fact that, like, lifeis going to be filled with challenges.
And, and it's interestingbecause I think that our natural tendency
is to want to shy away from the thingsthat that we've deemed hard or difficult
(20:12):
or impossible.
This episode is trulyabout being able to go
all right,
if I want to make change in my life,if I want to build the thing
that I really want for myself, well,guess what?
It's going to require meto step outside my comfort zone.
I want you to remember thatif we really want to change our lives
for the better, if we want to really movein the direction of our dreams, right?
(20:36):
If we really want to build the lifethat we have,
that vision that's sitting in our heads,that's going, hey,
I know that this is what you really want,then guess what?
We're going to have to step outsideof our comfort zone.
We're going to have to acceptthe challenge and embrace the challenge,
and we're going to have to change ourour perspective on things being hard
(21:00):
because it's only hardbecause you've never done it before.
It really is just shifting ourselves away
just a little bit, step by step,from calling it hard and saying,
what, like it's hard.
I, I've shared a lot of differentquestions and things to ask yourself,
but I want you to rememberlike that is the essence of it, right?
(21:22):
Is really taking on that challenge,embracing it.
In yoga, there's this whole idea of rigorand of attachment and avoidance,
and it's like we become attachedto the things that we do like
and the thingsthat are comfortable for us.
And then we want to avoid anything thatseems difficult or challenging to me.
Like life is all about being ableto find kind of, that middle path.
(21:45):
Right?
That ability to to release our attachmentto the thing, to that comfort
and and to not, to be able
to move ourselves closerto the things that we've been avoiding.
Right.
And not not be kind of ping
ponging ourselveslike, oh, no, gotta move away from this.
And oh, no,I just want to be closer to this thing.
(22:06):
Right.
And it's, it's insteadlike being able to, to
to have a level of detachment to both.
It's detaching ourselvesfrom, from the things that, that we like.
And it's, it's
detaching ourselves from, from,from avoiding the things we don't like.
I want you to think about it as challengestarts at a level of avoidance,
(22:27):
and then maybe you're movingto a level of acceptance,
and then maybe you're reachinga point of embrace, embracing.
Right.
And so that's where I want usto, to move ourselves towards
not going to happen over, you know,tomorrow or whatever the case may be.
Maybe it will.
Maybe you're going to wake up like me
the next day and be like, screw it,I embrace this,
(22:48):
but it's okay if you take some timeto kind of move yourself over
to embracing the challenge,and maybe you need to start
with accepting the challenge,and that is perfectly okay.
But I just want you to remember thatit's the more that you can learn
to embrace challenges,the more you're going to be able
to move yourselfcloser to the things that you really want.
(23:11):
And I just want us to remember thatanything that we really want to create for
ourselves is going to require usto get a little uncomfortable,
embrace the challengeand step outside that comfort zone.
But on the other side ofthat is something so incredible.
Okay, so todaywe have talked about overcoming
this word hardfrom three different perspectives.
(23:34):
We've talked about catching it firstand foremost.
We've talked about questioning it,
asking yourself powerful questions.
And third,we talked about embracing the challenge.
It's possiblethat just because I've I've kind of
had you looking for it, you might see itmore than you even realize.
(23:56):
And that is okay.
The more that we are paying attentionto things, the more we're like, oh my God,
it's everywhere.
Normal, totally normal.
And I want you to realize thattotally normal.
If you realize, oh my God,I've been calling everything hard.
That's what exactly what happened to me.
After my coach pointed out to me,
I was like, oh my God,I've been calling everything hard.
(24:19):
But guess what?
When you start noticing it piece by piece,step by step, you can start
shifting yourself away from calling ithard and start embracing that challenge.
And before you know it all, you'regoing to be saying all the time is what?
Like it's hard.
Okay, so I hope that you can embrace
(24:40):
this challenge and start changingyour own relationship with the word hard.
And if you're someonethat is starting up a new challenge
that you've been considering hard
and you want support
and being able to move yourself towardsembracing that challenge instead
and getting the support you need, thenI invite you to come work with me
in three months of private coaching,and it would be my pleasure and helping
(25:03):
you shift your mindsetand start taking on those challenges
and really taking the actionto making your dreams
and that vision that you have for yourselfcome true.
You can sign up by going to my website,Jessica Huang coaching.com.
The link will be in the show notes,and it would be
my pleasure to helpyou change your relationship with hard.
(25:27):
All right.
I hope you've enjoyed this episodeand I will see you in the next one.
Want to create more flow in your life?
Go to the show notesand sign up for the email list.
I'll be sharing more strategiesand insights
with you,just like the ones you heard today.
Remember, the power to create the lifeyou desire resides within you.
(25:51):
And I'm here to support youevery step of the way.
The world needs what you will create.
Even if you go back a week, a month,a year
there, I bet youthere are so many challenges
that you have overcomethat you're not paying attention to.
And so our ability to go, oh,catching the fact that we've been calling
this hard or impossible and go, no,I'm going to make the impossible possible.
That right there is going to completelychange your life.
(00:23):
That alone.
Welcome to Permission to Flow.
This podcast is dedicatedto lighting the way towards
greatercreativity, purpose and inner peace.
I'm your host, Jessica Wong.
I'm a second generationTaiwanese American.
I spent ten yearschasing the so-called American Dream
(00:44):
while working in corporate finance,before making the pivot into my own path
as a career transition coach, podcaster,and dharma yoga instructor.
There are combination of courageand curiosity.
I built a career and life that is aligned
with my unique talents and authentic self.
(01:05):
Now I'm on a mission to helpfirst and second generation women
leave behind the corporate grindand pivot to a creative career.
Whether you want to be an artist, writer,yoga instructor, entrepreneur,
or any other creative venture,it's time to give yourself permission
to flow, exploreand create the life that you want.
(01:28):
The world needs what you will create.
Now let's dive in to today's show.
So the
word hard is something that we sayto ourselves all the time.
This thing is too hard.
I don't know if I can do it.
Our our minds tend to go into this
negative thinking, especiallywhen we're trying to start something new.
(01:50):
And let's face it.
The path to changing your life
requires you to do new things.
I hate to say it right,
but that's the realityis that we have to learn new things.
We have to take on new challengesin the path of becoming the person
that we want to be, in the path
of creating the life that we really wantto create for ourselves.
(02:10):
And so this constant talking
about telling ourselvesthat things are hard is holding us back.
So how do we get past this?
Here's the thing.
Let me tell you
a little bit of a background storyof why this, this episode came to being.
This was me.
This was me all the time.
(02:31):
I constantly was telling myselfthat things were hard or difficult
or impossible, and I was kind of
just holding myself back all the time.
And, and it's interesting because this isexactly the power of coaching.
The reasonwhy this episode came to being is
my coach called me out on it.
(02:54):
My coach DL in one of our coachingsessions was like,
hey, you got to change.
You got to stop saying that.
Things are hard.
And I it literally blew my mindbecause I did not realize I was doing it.
And I love doing this for my clients.
Every so often it's I notice them
(03:15):
repeatedly saying some wordthat is just this word.
It seems innocuous, but in realityit is something that because
we keep doing it over and over again,we are in essence telling ourselves
like it's going to be hard, it'sgoing to be difficult.
And and we're making it.
So I wanted to talk a little bitabout my journey on really changing
my own mindsetabout things being hard and,
(03:38):
and some of the tips and tricks thatI've found along the way that have helped
me really change my relationshipwith with things being hard.
So that's the back story of how I started
to change my own relationshipwith the word hard.
So in this episode, we're going totalk about it from three different angles.
The first is really catching ourselveseven when we're calling things hard.
(04:00):
The second is really questioning itand asking, why are we calling it hard?
And the third is really being ableto embrace the challenge.
So that's whatwe're going to talk about in this episode.
And and I hope by the end of ityou will start changing your own
relationship with the word hardand maybe use it a little bit less.
All right. So let's jump in.
The first thing I want to talk aboutis catching ourselves calling things hard.
(04:24):
I had no idea that I was evencalling things hard all the time.
You know, it's one of those things wherewe just say things without realizing it.
But I want you to pay attention
to the way that you talk about somethingthat you are trying to work towards.
So if you're starting something new,if you're like, hey, in order for me
to change my lifeto to become the thing that I want to do
(04:46):
to, you know, write that book or,you know, start
this, start teaching yoga classesor whatever the case may be.
I want you to
notice how you're explaining or describing
that if you were to be talkingto, let's say, a friend.
Right.
When you're going to your friend,
are you saying, oh, my God,I really want to start up these classes.
(05:08):
I really want to do this.
Start writing this novel.
But it's just so freaking hard.
And I want you to noticeif you're calling this new thing hard.
Because the first thing
to ever making a change for ourselvesis identifying where we're doing it.
And so I just want you to pay attentionto anything that you are calling hard
(05:29):
or difficult or downright impossible.
That's that's the real kicker, right?
Is when you call somethingliterally impossible, you're literally
putting up a wall and saying, well,that can't be done.
And and so you're telling your brainit can't be done.
So I was thinking about thisthe other day.
I keep a bullet journal and it's somethingthat has just I don't know,
(05:49):
it's a little like art project for me,as well as just keeping track of my life.
And when I was creating the cover art,I guess you could call it for this year,
I literally wrote I was if you'rewatching on YouTube, you can see it.
Otherwise I'll I don't knowif it's going to be backwards.
Now we'll fix it.
Anyway,it says 2024 make the impossible possible.
(06:13):
And then on the other side, I wrotewhat is meant for
you will never pass you by firm beliefthat I sit in now.
And I was funny because I was reflectingon the fact that I wrote
make the Impossible Possibleand and just the power of those words.
It has been downrighttransformative for me.
(06:33):
This year, because every time that I am
sitting with a challengeor sitting with something difficult,
I think to myself, well,I'm going to make the impossible possible.
And the moment you start to changeand catch where you're calling something
difficult, hard, impossible,like all these kind of words
(06:55):
that are putting upwalls essentially. Right?
They're putting up mental walls.
They're going, it cannot be done.
It's like
saying to yourself, well,I'm going to make the impossible possible
starts to kind of shift that and go,oh, well, it's not actually impossible.
And, and I think it's,that's the thing, right?
(07:17):
Is, is we're, we're slowlytrying to take down these walls
that are blocking ourselves from the thingthat we really want to be doing, from
the thing that we really want to learnor experience or whatever the case may be,
and instead going, yes,of course it can be done.
Maybe it's just saying it's possible.
That's kind of step one, right?
(07:39):
Of kind of moving yourselftowards the ability to do something
is even just telling yourselfit is possible.
And and so,you know, catching yourself doing it.
Find evidencelike find examples of things of ways
in which like this is possibleof other people who have done it, or ways
(08:00):
that you've taken things
that seemed impossible at one pointin your life and made them possible.
Because I bet youthere are plenty of examples of that
that you might not be paying attention to.
There are so many. It was so interesting.
I'm telling a lot of stories today,but I was looking back,
I, I keep a journal and I, I'ma really, really intensive journal hour.
(08:24):
And the other day,I was looking back at my journal
from the beginning of this year,
and I was kind of thumbingthrough some of the pages, looking through
and reading things that I was strugglingwith at that time.
You know, in January,February of this year.
And and I was like, wow,
in January or February,I thought these things were impossible.
(08:48):
You know, there were things in therethat I thought I could never figure out.
And guess what I did with this podcastat the beginning of the year,
I thought it would be absolutelyimpossible to go to weekly episodes.
That was something that I had told myself,oh my God, that's hard.
That's impossible.
It cannot be done.
(09:09):
Well guess what?
I'm literally doing it right now.
So that is what is so interestingis how much we put these walls
up against
saying that something can't be done,and we tell ourselves it's impossible,
but I'm telling you, like,look for examples of things that you once
thought were impossible and now comealmost like second nature to you,
(09:31):
because I'm certain that you have overcomeso many things.
Even if you go back a week,a month, a year
there, I bet youthere are so many challenges
that you have overcomethat you're not paying attention to.
And so our ability to go, oh,catching the fact that we've been calling
this hard or impossible and go, no,I'm going to make the impossible possible.
(09:54):
That right there is going to completelychange your life.
That alone.
So that is kind of the first thingthat I want you
to think about is really noticingwhere it is that you are using
this kind of language aroundsomething that you are trying to start
and not trying around somethingyou are starting
(10:16):
and and being able to shift yourselfto saying, okay, absolutely.
This is possible.
Absolutely.
This this isn't this isn't hard.
Now that we've talkedabout catching ourselves,
calling things hard or difficult.
The second thing I want to talk aboutis really questioning it.
And I love this idea of questioning, like,why have we consider this thing hard?
(10:39):
It goes into this idea of like, is it hardor is it new?
Is it hardor is it outside of our comfort zone?
Is it hardor is it just something that no one around
you is doing,noticing and questioning? Why?
Why are we calling it hard?
Why have we decided that this thingis difficult or impossible or hard?
(11:00):
And oftentimesit's one of those things, right?
It's like,
think about the factthat if if no one around you
is doing the thing that you're doing,of course you're going to think it's hard
because you don't have examplesof anyone ever having done it before.
And I think that this is so normal. Right.
It's like,oh, you feel like the odd man out.
And and it's interesting, this whole thingaround, like being a black sheep
(11:23):
or going against the grain.
It's something that is, is going outsideof that comfort zone
and it makes us uncomfortable.
And so then we're going, oh, it's hard,it's impossible, it's difficult.
But it's mostly justthat we've never seen it done before in,
in, at least in the people that we know.
But that doesn'tmean that you can't do it.
(11:46):
And I want you to remember that.
Right.
And and so maybe it isbreaking outside of that comfort zone.
Maybe it is something new, butthat doesn't mean that it's impossible.
It just means that it'sgoing to take some learning.
It's going to require some curiosity,
some compassion with yourselfas you're figuring it out.
(12:08):
It's going to take some time and effort.
That's all that means.
And here's one of my favorite things.
So I, I was thinking back to the movie
Legally Blond with, Elle Woods at thebeginning, when she gets into Harvard,
someone asks her how she got into Harvard,and she goes, what?
(12:31):
Like it's hard.
I am literally obsessed with this phraseand I have been utilizing it
all over the place latelybecause it is so freaking powerful.
The moment I notice myself callingsomething hard, all I go to myself is go.
What? Like it's hard.
And something about that, that
(12:52):
that kind of nonchalance around it going,of course it can be done.
That attitude makes it so.
And I think that this isthe thing is our, our,
our minds are so gearedtowards towards a negativity bias.
Right.
Like we're geared towards,
towards going negative on thingsand thinking
that they are going to be hardor difficult or impossible.
(13:14):
And, and so when you ask yourselfthis question, what like it's hard,
your brain starts to go,oh, of course it isn't hard.
And let me start coming up with ideaslike it breaks itself out of this
kind of fixed box that we can kind ofthink in and thinking that like,
oh, it needs to be done this wayand it needs to look this way.
(13:36):
And it's like when we go, what?
Like it's hard.
It's like we allow ourselves a little bitmore space to start brainstorming,
to start getting curious,to find a different solution
outside of whatever our brains have,have already been telling us.
Right.
And, and it's interesting me,because I think about this
with so many different challengesthat I've come across.
(13:58):
And, you know, recently,one of my biggest challenges
was that I was strugglingwith making short form content.
This has been an ongoing thing that I'veconstantly been telling myself as hard.
And it was interesting because, I was
I've been working with my,my collaborator Travis,
and he was like, hey, we're going to shoot62nd reels, okay?
(14:23):
You're going to like, this is this is
what we're going to do going forwardso that it can go on YouTube and whatnot.
And my brain went,oh my God, I can't do that.
It's so hard.
I've been struggling with this for monthsnow and it's impossible.
And and it was so funny because I,I kind of cooked in that mindset
(14:44):
for the rest of the nightafter we were, talking about this.
And then the next morning, I don't know,like, I, I just had this thought.
Well, I really started to ask myself what?
Like it's hard and suddenly just as sayingthat to myself.
Like it's not hard.
Like I can figure this out.
(15:05):
It just started to unravel.
The the thing, the blocks within myselfthat were holding me back from, from even
broaching the idea of us calling it hardor difficult or impossible,
it causes us to not even want to start.
We don't even take the first stepbecause we've already labeled it this way.
(15:26):
We've already been calling it hard,
and it's like our brainsdon't want to do hard things.
We're just like, no, back away.
Let's not. Right.
And so instead,
when you're saying yourselfwhat, like it's hard, you're you're
kind of just embracing the fact that,like, you're going to figure it out, like,
obviously you can and and it's justit becomes so casual
(15:50):
instead of this kind of literally like I'mthinking of like a hard surface, right?
That wall feeling,you're instead kind of softening it,
you're softeningthe wall, you're making it squishy.
This is such a weird analogy
that I've created,but we're going to go with it, right?
But let's think of it literallythink of it that way, right?
(16:10):
When we when we're calling it hard,you're literally putting a hard surface
in front of yourself.
You're saying there's a wall here.
I cannot get past it.
That's what your brain is doing.
You're literally
putting a wall in front of you andwhatever it is that you want to be doing.
And when we ask ourselvesthe question of what?
Like it's hard, you'reyou're making the wall kind of squishy
(16:33):
and you're allowing yourselfto be able to break it down.
You're allowed.
It's like, oh,now it's made up of little like, soft
blocks,and I can take one piece down at a time.
I'm like in this analogy.
Right.So it's it's now become a foam wall.
It's nowbecome a foam wall that is pieces.
And you can take the pieces down.
(16:55):
And that is how we overcomethese challenges.
We change it from this hard surfaceto being something
soft and squishy and go, okay,I can work with this.
So now that we've talkedabout catching ourselves, calling it hard
and and turning it into a squishy wall,no, I'm kidding.
Questioning it, questioningwhy we've decided it is hard.
(17:16):
The last thingwhich is really embracing the challenge.
And I love this one.
So it's interesting,I, I was thinking about this recently,
actually, when I was thinking aboutthat whole situation with making reels.
I was thinking about this whole thing of
I have a different mindsetaround challenges.
(17:39):
I think than than maybe your average person.
And and it's funnybecause my, my best friend and I,
I'm going to have to ask herwhere this actually came from.
But we always had this thingparticular with me where we would
always joke around this whole phraseof where's the challenge?
And, and I think it's, it's something that
(18:01):
I've just had
about me for a really long time whereit's like, whenever things are happening,
I, I'm actually almost lookingfor the challenge in the way.
And, and so it was always this thing
where I, I like embrace a good challenge.
I want to I love problem solving.
(18:22):
I love figuring things out.
And and I think this goes alongwith that kind of,
you know, curiosity is like a super corevalue of mine.
And and so to me, it's,
it's it's fun to have a challenge.
I think life is meant to be filledwith challenges.
I think in many ways,I've always had this kind of mentality
(18:45):
of wanting to of asking,where is the challenge?
Meaning something along the lines of I,I want the challenge, right?
I want to be challenged because that to meis the only way that we grow.
And and right alongsidethat is one of my favorite things
to saynow is, is the phrase challenge accepted?
(19:07):
So when I catch myself callingsomething hard or difficult or impossible,
I, I like to to be like, well,where's the challenge?
And then the next thing I say to myselfis like, frickin challenge accepted.
When we look at it, it's it'salmost like making it into a game.
And, and I think that this is suchan important thing around, especially
when we're trying to do hard, hard things
(19:30):
or things outside of our comfort zone.
I love to make things into a game,and so to me, something about saying
challenge accepted feels like you'retaking on the challenge, right?
You're you're going to go up against this,this obstacle in your way
and face it head on, and it feels likeslaying the dragon or something like that.
(19:52):
And, you know, I, I just love the ideaof, of kind of really bringing it
closer and like,
embracing the fact that, like, lifeis going to be filled with challenges.
And, and it's interestingbecause I think that our natural tendency
is to want to shy away from the thingsthat that we've deemed hard or difficult
(20:12):
or impossible.
This episode is trulyabout being able to go
all right,
if I want to make change in my life,if I want to build the thing
that I really want for myself, well,guess what?
It's going to require meto step outside my comfort zone.
I want you to remember thatif we really want to change our lives
for the better, if we want to really movein the direction of our dreams, right?
(20:36):
If we really want to build the lifethat we have,
that vision that's sitting in our heads,that's going, hey,
I know that this is what you really want,then guess what?
We're going to have to step outsideof our comfort zone.
We're going to have to acceptthe challenge and embrace the challenge,
and we're going to have to change ourour perspective on things being hard
(21:00):
because it's only hardbecause you've never done it before.
It really is just shifting ourselves away
just a little bit, step by step,from calling it hard and saying,
what, like it's hard.
I, I've shared a lot of differentquestions and things to ask yourself,
but I want you to rememberlike that is the essence of it, right?
(21:22):
Is really taking on that challenge,embracing it.
In yoga, there's this whole idea of rigorand of attachment and avoidance,
and it's like we become attachedto the things that we do like
and the thingsthat are comfortable for us.
And then we want to avoid anything thatseems difficult or challenging to me.
Like life is all about being ableto find kind of, that middle path.
(21:45):
Right?
That ability to to release our attachmentto the thing, to that comfort
and and to not, to be able
to move ourselves closerto the things that we've been avoiding.
Right.
And not not be kind of ping
ponging ourselveslike, oh, no, gotta move away from this.
And oh, no,I just want to be closer to this thing.
(22:06):
Right.
And it's, it's insteadlike being able to, to
to have a level of detachment to both.
It's detaching ourselvesfrom, from the things that, that we like.
And it's, it's
detaching ourselves from, from,from avoiding the things we don't like.
I want you to think about it as challengestarts at a level of avoidance,
(22:27):
and then maybe you're movingto a level of acceptance,
and then maybe you're reachinga point of embrace, embracing.
Right.
And so that's where I want usto, to move ourselves towards
not going to happen over, you know,tomorrow or whatever the case may be.
Maybe it will.
Maybe you're going to wake up like me
the next day and be like, screw it,I embrace this,
(22:48):
but it's okay if you take some timeto kind of move yourself over
to embracing the challenge,and maybe you need to start
with accepting the challenge,and that is perfectly okay.
But I just want you to remember thatit's the more that you can learn
to embrace challenges,the more you're going to be able
to move yourselfcloser to the things that you really want.
(23:11):
And I just want us to remember thatanything that we really want to create for
ourselves is going to require usto get a little uncomfortable,
embrace the challengeand step outside that comfort zone.
But on the other side ofthat is something so incredible.
Okay, so todaywe have talked about overcoming
this word hardfrom three different perspectives.
(23:34):
We've talked about catching it firstand foremost.
We've talked about questioning it,
asking yourself powerful questions.
And third,we talked about embracing the challenge.
It's possiblethat just because I've I've kind of
had you looking for it, you might see itmore than you even realize.
(23:56):
And that is okay.
The more that we are paying attentionto things, the more we're like, oh my God,
it's everywhere.
Normal, totally normal.
And I want you to realize thattotally normal.
If you realize, oh my God,I've been calling everything hard.
That's what exactly what happened to me.
After my coach pointed out to me,
I was like, oh my God,I've been calling everything hard.
(24:19):
But guess what?
When you start noticing it piece by piece,step by step, you can start
shifting yourself away from calling ithard and start embracing that challenge.
And before you know it all, you'regoing to be saying all the time is what?
Like it's hard.
Okay, so I hope that you can embrace
(24:40):
this challenge and start changingyour own relationship with the word hard.
And if you're someonethat is starting up a new challenge
that you've been considering hard
and you want support
and being able to move yourself towardsembracing that challenge instead
and getting the support you need, thenI invite you to come work with me
in three months of private coaching,and it would be my pleasure and helping
(25:03):
you shift your mindsetand start taking on those challenges
and really taking the actionto making your dreams
and that vision that you have for yourselfcome true.
You can sign up by going to my website,Jessica Huang coaching.com.
The link will be in the show notes,and it would be
my pleasure to helpyou change your relationship with hard.
(25:27):
All right.
I hope you've enjoyed this episodeand I will see you in the next one.
Want to create more flow in your life?
Go to the show notesand sign up for the email list.
I'll be sharing more strategiesand insights
with you,just like the ones you heard today.
Remember, the power to create the lifeyou desire resides within you.
(25:51):
And I'm here to support youevery step of the way.
The world needs what you will create.
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