October 23, 2024 • 33 mins
In this episode of Permission to Flow, host Jessica Hwang delves into the art of becoming "Comfortable Being Uncomfortable." Jessica emphasizes the vital role of self-awareness and emotional management in navigating discomfort. Inspired by the wisdom of Marcus Aurelius and a powerful quote from George Adair, Jessica presents a roadmap for embracing temporary challenges as stepping stones to personal growth.
Jessica shares her own journey, highlighting how her career as a coach and podcast host has pushed her to embrace discomfort as a catalyst for development. She underscores the importance of engaging with regular, low-stakes challenges, such as practicing yoga or striking up conversations with strangers, to normalize discomfort and build resilience. By making habits of these practices, listeners can better prepare for larger transitions and create the meaningful lives they desire.
Tune in for actionable strategies on reframing your perspective towards discomfort, breathing exercises for managing stress, and the essential practice of mindfulness. Whether it's facing career changes or personal growth hurdles, Jessica assures that the discomfort you feel today is only temporary and that each challenge faced is a step closer to triumph.
For those seeking personalized guidance, Jessica invites listeners to explore her one-on-one coaching services at jessicahwangcoaching.com.
Topics discussed in this episode include:
00:00:00 - Intro
05:14:19 - The Anatomy of Discomfort
06:36:08 - Shifting Your Mindset
14:40:09 - Small Challenges for Growth
20:43:12 - How To Move Towards Discomfort
30:58:05 - Episode Recap
Quotes from the episode:
"Instead of us moving away from the fear, away from the discomfort, it's like, how can we actually take a step closer to it?"
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your own estimate of it. And this you have the power to revoke at any moment,” - Marcus Aurelius
“Everything you've ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.” - George Addair
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: @jessicahwangcoaching
Facebook: Jessica Hwang Coaching
Website: Jessica Hwang Coaching
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
If you think aboutwhen you have these initial reactions,
when we're in these kind of like triggereduncomfortable spots,
it's it's noticinghow our bodies react, right?
Our bodies usually like tense up.
Our, our heart rate might accelerate.
There's these visceral responsesthat that automatic nervous system
response that occurswhen we're uncomfortable,
(00:23):
when we're kind of triggeredor anything like that.
And and so I think it's interestingfor us to pay attention to, like,
what is going on in our physical anatomythat is, is actually signaling
to us, like, I'm uncomfortable,I don't like this.
And so we're noticing it.
We're getting closer to it.
We're going okay,I see how this is occurring in my body.
(00:45):
And then we're going tobe able to work through that.
Welcome to Permission to Flow.
This podcast is dedicatedto lighting the way towards
greatercreativity, purpose and inner peace.
I'm your host, Jessica Wang.
I'm a second generationTaiwanese American.
I spent ten yearschasing the so-called American Dream
(01:08):
while working in corporate finance,before making the pivot into my own path
as a career transition coach, podcaster,and dharma yoga instructor.
There are combination of courageand curiosity.
I built a career and life that is aligned
with my unique talents and authentic self.
(01:29):
Now I'm on a mission to helpfirst and second generation women
leave behind the corporate grindand pivot to a creative career.
Whether you want to be an artist, writer,yoga instructor, entrepreneur,
or any other creative venture,it's time to give yourself permission
to flow, exploreand create the life that you want.
(01:51):
The world needs what you will create.
Now let's dive in to today's show.
There's this quote by George Adairthat goes,
everything you've ever wantedis sitting on the other side of fear.
So today we're going to be talkingall about how do we get past that fear.
(02:12):
And guess what?
It requires us to geta little bit uncomfortable.
Let's be clear.
Nobody likes to really get uncomfortable.
But growth lies in that ability
for us to move past our fearsand be a little uncomfortable.
So that's what we're goingto be talking about in this episode.
(02:34):
Getting comfortable.
Being uncomfortable.
So why are we talking about this?
Let's be clear.
When you want to create the lifethat you really want for yourself,
you're going to have to geta little uncomfortable.
We like to live in our comfort zones.
It's comfortable. Who doesn't like that?
But in order for us to create the lifethat we really want,
(02:56):
and in order for us to do thingsthat are different than what we're doing
today,it's gonna require us to be uncomfortable.
Something that I have learnedalong this journey of starting
this podcast, of becoming an entrepreneur,of being a coach,
is that it's a really deep journeyof self-development.
(03:16):
I'm constantly being challengedto step outside of my comfort zone,
of doing thingsdifferently, of learning new ways,
of trying something that I have nevereven thought I would do before.
And that is how I have
grown and really changed my life.
It is really been a series
(03:37):
of tiny ways in which I have gotten myselfuncomfortable with something
and and been able to grow and learn
and take on new challengesand step into a little bit at a time.
This new version of myselfand and so as I've seen that in myself,
I mean, let's face it,
(03:57):
this entire podcast has beenone giant lesson in being uncomfortable.
You know, little storyis that I remember the first time
that I hit record and decidedto record that very first episode.
Wow, was I uncomfortable. Oh, wow.
Was I not ready?
Or, you know, telling myselfI was just like, I don't know about this.
(04:19):
And I had to be okay with thatand be and say, I'm going to do it anyway.
And I think that that is the thingabout getting uncomfortable about fear
is that it's not thatthose things really completely go away.
And I want to normalize that fact.
It's not that we are ever like,oh, I'm never going to be uncomfortable
(04:41):
again, or I'm never going to have to havefears come up.
Now, that is part of the journey.
Is experiencing this fear,this discomfort, and choosing to do it
anyway, choosing to find that comfortin being uncomfortable.
So in this episode,we are going to talk about
some of the mindset shiftshow to reframe being uncomfortable.
(05:03):
We're going to talk abouttaking on many challenges.
And we're going to talk aboutgetting closer
to the discomfortinstead of getting farther away.
Before we get started,I want to talk a little bit
about what is going onwhen we feel uncomfortable.
Kind of on a biological level for uswhen this is occurring.
(05:23):
Our nervous system has what is calledthat fight flight or freeze response.
And so when we get triggered by something,when something feels unsafe
or uncomfortable or a fear is comingup, our bodies go into this kind of
automatic response where it wantsto take one of those three courses.
Right.
And it's kind of a very,very visceral automatic reaction.
(05:45):
A knee jerk reaction, if you will, thatwe want to fight flight or freeze.
And the thing is that we can learn
to kind of work with thisand know that it's going to happen, right.
And realize that this is a normal reactionthat is occurring
for every single one of us.
And we can learn to work with it,
(06:07):
not be upset about it, or be like, oh,why is this happening?
But instead go, okay,
this is the normal sensationthat is going to occur in my body.
Let me work with it.
Let me figure out how can I expand
my my comfort zone or expand my
ability to be okay, being uncomfortable
(06:29):
so that we can work with itinstead of seeing it
as something that's bad or somethingthat we have to fight against.
All right.
So let's dive intohow do we reframe in our minds
what it is that's going onwhen we feel uncomfortable?
So here's the thing is, as I said,
who really loves being uncomfortable?
(06:50):
I would venture to guessnone of us really love it,
aside from maybe those like peoplethat are massive thrill seekers.
Maybe they really love it, I don't know.
But anyway, the cases
that by and large most of usdon't really love getting uncomfortable.
But here's the thing.
As I said in that quote earlier,everything
that we wantis sitting on the other side of that fear.
(07:12):
And the thing is that we need to learn
to be uncomfortableand feel like that's okay, right?
That we are we're going to still be safe.
And and I think part ofthat is really gaining a sense
of normalizing it, normalizingthe fact that sometimes
they're goingto have to get uncomfortable.
And and being okay with that. Right.
(07:34):
So if you are tryingto change your career, for example,
if you are breaking outsidethat box of what you've been doing.
Right.
Because let's be honest, the career paththat you've been on has been safe.
And it's been comfortable in certain ways.
Even if you're unhappy, it is probably
a lot of the safety and comfortthat is keeping you there.
(07:57):
Instead, we are trying to break ourselvesa little bit out of that box
and and be able to go, okay,I want to move in this direction.
I don't want to stay safe anymoreor stay safe in the way of this job.
Not that we're goinginto a place of being,
completely in a risk areaor anything like that.
(08:18):
But instead it's saying, I'm going tokeep myself safe, but in a different way.
And and instead, it's like,how can we shift ourselves finding
what would really keep us safe,what would help us feel some
some sense of safety,even when we're making big changes
for ourselves,even when we're going to be uncomfortable.
(08:39):
And and so this is suchan important practice that we need to make
for ourselves
in terms of being able to change the paththat we want, that we are going down.
One of the main things that I thinkis really important to remember about this
is that it is temporaryand whether or not we're talking
about the immediate momentsof some discomfort coming up,
(09:01):
or if we're talking about a much broaderperspective,
I want you to remember thateverything is temporary.
The discomfort that you're feelingis temporary.
The the uncertainty of of being able
to make this move or whateverit is, is temporary.
I think that remembering that can help uskind of ease into the fact that it's like
it's not going to be like this forever,because when we're in that,
(09:24):
especially if we're kind of havingsome kind of triggered response or,
you know, that that initial momentof like, I'm really uncomfortable.
I do not like this.
I really want to react and move in thisother and get back to a place of comfort.
We have to kind of
take a beat and go, but this is temporary.
We're not going to stay here. It's okay.
(09:46):
We're just going to be temporarilyuncomfortable.
And and kind of grounding ourselvesin the fact that, like,
we're going to be okay.
I love to think abouthow can we ground ourselves
and the fact that we are going
to take care of ourselves and the factthat we are going to make sure that
we are safe and and okayand, and everything's okay,
(10:06):
but that is going to help us be ableto, to,
to be in this place of discomfortand still go.
It's fine.
Everything's fine. I got my own back.
I'm going to, you know, be okaythrough this to through this discomfort.
Another thing I want you to rememberis that it really,
(10:27):
truly is that when we're in discomfortthat we grow.
And and it's funnybecause I remember someone saying to me,
I think through one of my coachingprograms,
that real success is sitting in the workthat you're avoiding.
And I was like,I do not want to hear that.
You know, like just hearing that phrasealone made me be like, oh, God, step away.
(10:48):
No thank you.
But when I really think about it,it is so true.
It is so truethat the way the path forward,
the way it's for us to be successfulin whatever we're doing,
is probably sittingin the things that we're really avoiding.
And that's why it's like wewe got to like, go,
(11:09):
oh, God, I gotta get uncomfortable.
And and as as unpleasant as that may be,
remembering again that it is temporary.
That is short term.
Because here's the thing about it.
And I want to really make surethat you remember this
when you repeatedly do something.
When you practice something,
(11:29):
you get better at it and you become morecomfortable with it, right?
Like it's just often timesin the beginning
that we have to get throughthat beginning stage,
that area where you're like,this is not what I want to be doing.
This is uncomfortable, right?
Like, I'm new to this thing.
And and so being able to look at itand go, it's okay, it's temporary
(11:53):
and and remembering that fact, you know,I, I shared in the last video about that,
there's this feeling of, oh,when I look back at January, there's all
these things that I have overcome and,
and they have become second nature to me.
And it's so truethat anything that you're starting
the initial phasemay feel that discomfort.
(12:16):
It's that energy of of that newness.Right.
And, and feeling like, oh,I'm going to be bad at this.
Or like, I don't like this feeling,but you're going to get through that.
And after some repetition it'sgoing to get easier.
And so I think grounding yourselfin remembering that is going to help
(12:38):
you break through that initial discomfort.
So remember the real growth is sittingin getting uncomfortable.
And and I want you to just remember that.
But really ground yourselfin the temporary nature of that discomfort
and and know,
like you're going to get to the other sideand look for examples of that.
Look for examples of times that you'vegotten uncomfortable at something
(13:02):
and you've managed to get through itand keep going.
Let's be honest, what I'm doing right nowis certainly something
that I, especially initially,was extremely uncomfortable with.
I cannot express to youhow much talking to a camera
and and blasting my thoughts outinto the air, into the world was something
(13:22):
that was incredibly nerve wrackingand outside of my comfort zone,
and quite frankly, somethingI literally never thought I would be doing
if I'm being totally honest.
But it's something that I have learnedto get comfortable with.
I have learned to find that
it's okay and I will get better over time.
(13:45):
And being able to get comfortablewith that discomfort.
Like right now, I've changed up my set up.
I can't even, like, look at myself.
My screen is over here.
I'm just staring at the camera right now.
That's pretty uncomfortable for me.
But again, I've just learned toget comfortable with it and practice it.
And you know, the first timeI hit that, that, record
(14:08):
button, it'scertainly felt really freaking weird.
And and then over time, I said, okay, I'mjust going to do it again and do it again
and do it again to the point wherenow I don't find it particularly strange.
I have normalized it for myself.
So that's what I'm talking aboutwith that temporary nature where
it's like those initial timesare going to feel uncomfortable, but
(14:30):
as long as you're able to keep doing it,
you will push past that point.
That discomfort is justthat initial temporary feeling.
Okay, so now that we've talkedabout kind of this mindset
and really grounding ourselves in thetemporary nature of being uncomfortable,
let's talk a little bit abouthow do we challenge ourselves.
So here's the thing about itthat I think is really, really great
(14:53):
is that you get to choose the parameterin which you're going to be uncomfortable.
And and in order for usto start to expand this for ourselves,
I think it's a really great practiceto start small.
And and it's interesting.
I've been thinking about thisa lot for me, actually.
I think a major part ofwhy I've learned to to be comfortable
(15:13):
being uncomfortableis actually through my yoga practice.
For anyone who doesn't know, Dharmayoga is a half a yoga style practice,
and in the practicewe are often holding a pose
for an extended period of timeand it becomes like a moving meditation.
And it's interesting,especially in dharma class,
(15:34):
where he often will kind of drift away
and go and help some students,sometimes for an incredibly long time.
Like he gets in a zoneand he just really wants to adjust
multiple people and you're just stayingin that pose, holding it for dear life.
And and it's been suchan interesting practice to say,
(15:56):
can I hold it the entire timethat he is adjusting other people?
Can I be, you know, allow myselfto be uncomfortable in this pose because
let's face it, after a little while,you are pretty freaking uncomfortable.
You're going, I really want to get out.
And and so it'sthis really interesting practice
(16:18):
to be able to go, all right,how do I breathe into this discomfort?
How do I allow myself to rest in thisplace, even though I'm so uncomfortable
and what I realized is doing that onmy mat has allowed me to
then be able to be more uncomfortablein other circumstances.
(16:39):
Being able to do things like this.
What I was talking aboutwith talking to the camera, right,
and being able to applythese little places of discomfort
that I have been practicing itin, and then apply it
to those bigger instancesthat I need to to work through.
And so for you, I want you to imaginewhat would be small things,
(17:04):
what are like the many challengesin which you can get yourself
outside of your comfort zoneand do something in a small way
that would that would helpyou get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Maybe it's that you feelsuper uncomfortable talking to strangers.
And so it's like,can you challenge yourself
to just start a casual conversationwith someone in a coffee shop?
(17:26):
Can you goand can you go and practice yoga?
You can come come to my class any time.
For one of my clients,it was sitting on the subway or,
and let's be clear,that makes me very uncomfortable.
But cancan you do something that makes you
a little bit uncomfortablebut isn't, you know, isn't anything crazy,
(17:50):
but it just helpsyou get out of your comfort zone.
And and it's it reallyis such an important skill,
I think, for us to, to be to,to do for ourselves just in general.
But it's like this is somethingthat is as you expand
this ability to be uncomfortable,
it's going to take you so much furtherthan you can even imagine.
(18:12):
And, and so it's like findingthose little tiny
ways in which you can get uncomfortable.
It's that's how you you start to expand.
This is how we grow as people, right?
Is that we're able to expand our horizons.
We're able to step outside a little bit,a little bit, a little bit,
(18:33):
and our comfort zonewill get bigger in that sense.
And after you do it, realize how you felt
go, oh, wow, I just did that thingeven though it made me uncomfortable.
But I got through it, right.
And so that's why I'm saying, like, trythese little tiny mini challenges
and and do them regularly.
Regularly do something that feelsa little bit outside of your comfort zone
(18:54):
and and make it into a habitbecause it's going to help
you just normalize, these this feeling of going, okay,
instead of having that fight flightfreeze response, I'm moving with it.
I'm continuing forward.
And so that is something that that we'rewe're almost training ourselves.
(19:15):
Right?
I like to remind ourselveslike it's not in the moments
when like something massive happensthat we want to be practicing
it is that we want to be practicingwhen it's like low, low stakes.
We want to be practicingwhen it's something small,
when it's something like that,you get to choose in this case, right?
You get to choose your own adventure,if you will.
(19:35):
You get to go, okay, I'mgoing to take this one little step outside
my comfort zone, start this conversationor, you know, put myself out there
in this way that I don't normally door record that video
that I've been putting off or whateverit is, and,
and see how it goesand do it in a tiny way and,
(19:56):
and allow that to,to become like a normal thing that we do.
Right. We we're okay.
Just like having having that
initial reaction and moving through it
and finding that like, oh,we made it to the other side, we're safe.
We're okayand grounding ourselves in that.
(20:16):
And it's like the more little examplesthat we can find for that,
the more we're able to managethrough the bigger examples
that we're able to go,oh, I already stacked up
this full roster of timeswhen I have stepped
outside my comfort zonein these small ways.
So in the bigger one comes along,you already have evidence
that it can be done,and you can apply what you learned
(20:38):
through that into these bigger examplesof stepping outside our comfort zone.
Now that we talked about reframing it
as temporary and stepping outsidein these many challenges,
how do we get closer to the discomfortinstead of farther away?
Here's the thing, right?
As I mentioned, this fightflight freeze response.
I think a lot of timeswe we want to run away.
(21:00):
Running away.
It feels pretty good, right?
You're like, I'm uncomfortable.Let me bail out.
And instead it's like instead of usmoving away from the fear, away
from the discomfort, it's like, how can weactually take a step closer to it?
How can we actually go, okay,what is going on here?
And and and not be in total avoidance?
(21:22):
And I'm going to repeat this, I,
I mentioned this in the last episodeabout repeated here as well.
In yogathere are these terms of raga and Asia.
It's our attachment and avoidance.
And part of our work in this lifetime ishow do we not get too attached to the good
and not be totally avoiding the quoteunquote bad, right?
Is our ability to kind of find that middlepath, find that middle ground
(21:46):
instead of kind of ping pongbetween these two extremes.
And and so I think about that a lot interms of the things that we're avoiding.
And how do we kind of normalize themand work through them.
And a lot of that workcomes from our ability to get closer
to the things that we're avoidinginstead of farther away.
So how do we do that?
One of soone of the things that I love doing and,
(22:09):
and it's so simpleis really just coming back to our breath
and, and to me, it's like,you know, if you think about when you have
these initial reactions,when we're in these kind of like triggered
uncomfortable spots,it's it's noticing how our bodies react.
Right?
Our body's usually like tense up our,our heart rate might accelerate.
(22:30):
There's these visceral responsesthat that automatic nervous system
response that occurswhen we're uncomfortable,
when we're kind of triggeredor anything like that.
And, and so I think it's interestingfor us to pay attention to, like,
what is going on in our physical anatomythat is, is actually signaling
to us, like, I'm uncomfortable,I don't like this.
(22:51):
And so we're noticing it,we're getting closer to it.
We're going, okay,I see how this is occurring in my body.
And then we're going to be ableto work through that.
Right?
So, you know, everything is is justour noticing
is our paying attentionto what is really going on for us.
So in this case,when we become uncomfortable,
when we become maybe become triggeredor have like some kind of fear come up,
(23:15):
it is it is noticingthose kind of knee jerk reactions
and then the next thing is breathingthrough them.
So our breath is somethingthat is so incredibly powerful and,
and it can be as simpleas taking three long breaths.
And, and I like to think of itas like having it where
(23:36):
your inhales nice long inhale
and a nice long exhale
that'sa little bit longer than the inhale.
And so taking three long
inhales and exhales.
(23:57):
I'll take one more inhale.
And a long deep exhale.
And it's just doing
that alone like even notice right now.
Like I'm talking a little bit slower.
My heart rate is slowed down.
It's like that alone is it's so powerful.
(24:20):
It's so interesting even in this moment,noticing how how it's even changed
my physiology of of metalking to you right now.
But it's coming back to that breath
is so powerful.
Another great example is,
from my Dharma yoga practice is somethingcalled calming breathing.
(24:43):
And so it's a breath of,inhaling for four,
holding for two,and then exhaling for four.
And, and so here we canpractice it a little bit here.
If, if you don't want to listen to it,you can speed ahead right now.
So it would be something alongthe lines of this.
You would exhale completely
(25:05):
and then you would inhale
to three, four, hold two,
exhale to three four.
Inhale to three four.
Hold two.
Exhale 234.
(25:27):
Inhale 234.
Hold two.
Exhale 234.
And so it's practicing this as well
can really help uscalm ourselves down and
and again bring ourselves back to thatlike still nice
(25:50):
slowing the heart rate relaxing
removing that tension from the body.
It's it's interesting.
As a yoga teacher,I've noticed just how much for myself.
I hold all my tension on my shouldersand I see that, you know,
like each of us holds our tensionin different parts of our body.
And so noticing where is itthat you hold tension in your body
(26:12):
noticing, oh, am I tensing up that part?
Do I feel that right now? Right.
Some people hold it in their stomach,some in their shoulders or their back or,
you know, other people get tensionheadaches.
There's so many ways in which we are holding, tensing up, holding on to something,
and instead, if we can
relax and let it go,it's like that's how we move ourselves
(26:37):
through that discomfortis that we calm ourselves down.
We remind ourselvesthat we're going to be okay.
I love these physical practices.
I think they're incredibly powerful.
I also think that there's a placeof of getting closer to that discomfort
through asking yourselfquestions about it, right?
So you can ask yourself, what is thisfeeling that's coming up for me?
(26:59):
Like, why am I uncomfortable?
What is going on for me?
What what is coming up,if you will. Right.
So we can also do some of these practicesas well.
We can get ourselves a little bit closerto that discomfort.
And and so I think all of these practicesare so incredibly powerful
for us to be able to go, okay,how can I support myself?
(27:22):
And again,
as I was saying before, I want you toimagine you're going to practice this
when you're not in that state,when you're not uncomfortable,
it's like, can you practicetaking these deep breaths?
Can you practice calmingbreathing that for two, for breathing
and and making those into kind of normalthings for you like normal practices.
(27:43):
So that when something comes upyou can go, okay, here's my list of things
I do when I feel uncomfortable,I take some deep breaths.
I ask myself the question of like,what is?
Why am I uncomfortable right now?
And and I get a little bit closer to it.
So making that into a practicefor yourself when even when you're
(28:03):
not uncomfortable, you canthen do it when you are uncomfortable.
So so when you're not uncomfortable,you can also ask yourself like,
how am I feeling?
How am I doing?Checking in with ourselves?
I think that this is something thatmany of us don't even think to do, right.
We're just kind of like running amokdoing all the things.
But how often do you ask yourself, like,how am I feeling?
(28:24):
How am I feelingeven when you're not feeling
any particular way, like right now,how am I feeling?
Well, right now I am feeling like,
I don'tknow, I feel pretty, pretty enthused.
I, I'm doing something I love doing.
I have gotten past the discomfortof talking to a camera
and I feel pretty good about it. Right?
So so being able to do these little checkins with ourselves is so important
(28:47):
and so helpfulin terms of when those times arise,
when we are uncomfortable,we can then go back
and rely on those practices that we havealready built up for ourselves.
So even if you're listeningto this right now
and you probably don't feel uncomfortable,you're just hanging out, relaxing,
listening to this podcastor on YouTube or whatever the case may be.
(29:08):
And so it's like, how do it right now?
Practice asking yourself,how are you feeling right now?
I keep a listof some of my favorite quotes,
and this is one of my quotesthat, that I think about a lot.
So it's, Marcus Aurelius and it says,if you are distressed by anything
external, the pain is not due to the thing
(29:29):
itself, but to your own estimate of it.
And this you have the powerto revoke at any moment.
And I love the love, love this quote,because it puts that agency back
into ourselves, right where it's likewe can always choose a different path.
And and so I think this is so importantand everything that we talked about.
(29:52):
Right. You get to choose the path forward.
You get to choose how you arelooking at being uncomfortable.
You can choose to see it as, oh,I'm just going to flee every single time.
Or you can choose to go.
It is temporary. It's okay.
I can get through this.
It makes me think of this parablethat talks about the wolf we feed right?
Are we feeding the wolf that is makingthis problem or this discomfort bigger?
(30:17):
And we're just going to run for the hills?
Or are we able to feed the wolfthat is actually helping us
gain more comfortand be okay with being in that discomfort?
You get to choose that path.
And I love putting ourselves
back into that driver's seatand reminding ourselves of that fact.
Like, you got to choosehow you are seeing discomfort.
(30:37):
Are you seeing it as this god awfulchallenge that you can't can't handle?
Or are you choosing to go,I can handle this.
I got this.
One of my favorite things to tell myselfall the time is I got this.
Or you can say you got this.
You know, you do have this.
You can learn to be more comfortablebeing uncomfortable.
(30:58):
In this episode,we have talked so much about
how we have learned to be comfortablebeing uncomfortable.
So we talked a little bit abouthow can we frame it as temporary
and see it as the way that we grow.
Right.
Like look at it as a necessary challenge,right?
(31:19):
Like, I love to use the word challengeinstead of something that feels like
it's like, oh God, I can't do it.
Like, oh, this is just a challenge.
And we talked abouttaking on many challenges.
How can you make things bite sized?
How can you step outside your comfort zonein tiny ways
so that we can train ourselvesto feel like, oh, this is okay.
(31:40):
We can we can do this.
We have learned to to practicestepping outside of our comfort zone
and last but not least,it's about getting closer to that,
that discomfortreally taking on a lens of saying
what is going on for me in my body,what is going on in my mind.
And it's really about digginginto the problem,
getting closer to itinstead of moving ourselves farther away.
(32:03):
And I will say,if you are definitely feeling like,
oh my God, there's
so many challenges in front of meand I need more support around this,
then this is exactly the kind of workthat I do with so many of my clients.
And to be honest, this entire episodereally came from, client session
and, and a discussionthat I was having with my clients around
(32:24):
really being ableto step outside of, of their comfort zone.
So I think it's it's so important for us
to, to be able to get the supportthat we need when we need it.
So if you feel like you need assistanceand you're like, you know,
this is something that I don't knowhow to take on myself and I want,
I want support in doing so,then definitely go to my website.
(32:46):
Just go oncoaching.com and book a free call with me.
And I would love to support youin your journey of being able
to step outside of that comfort zone
and move yourself into the paththat you really want for yourself.
Thank you so,so much for tuning into this episode
and I will see you in the next one.
(33:08):
Want to create more flow in your life?
Go to the show notesand sign up for the email list.
I'll be sharing more strategiesand insights
with youjust like the ones you heard today.
Remember the power to create the lifeyou desire resides within you.
And I'm here to support youevery step of the way.
The world needs what you will create.
If you think aboutwhen you have these initial reactions,
when we're in these kind of like triggereduncomfortable spots,
it's it's noticinghow our bodies react, right?
Our bodies usually like tense up.
Our, our heart rate might accelerate.
There's these visceral responsesthat that automatic nervous system
response that occurswhen we're uncomfortable,
(00:23):
when we're kind of triggeredor anything like that.
And and so I think it's interestingfor us to pay attention to, like,
what is going on in our physical anatomythat is, is actually signaling
to us, like, I'm uncomfortable,I don't like this.
And so we're noticing it.
We're getting closer to it.
We're going okay,I see how this is occurring in my body.
(00:45):
And then we're going tobe able to work through that.
Welcome to Permission to Flow.
This podcast is dedicatedto lighting the way towards
greatercreativity, purpose and inner peace.
I'm your host, Jessica Wang.
I'm a second generationTaiwanese American.
I spent ten yearschasing the so-called American Dream
(01:08):
while working in corporate finance,before making the pivot into my own path
as a career transition coach, podcaster,and dharma yoga instructor.
There are combination of courageand curiosity.
I built a career and life that is aligned
with my unique talents and authentic self.
(01:29):
Now I'm on a mission to helpfirst and second generation women
leave behind the corporate grindand pivot to a creative career.
Whether you want to be an artist, writer,yoga instructor, entrepreneur,
or any other creative venture,it's time to give yourself permission
to flow, exploreand create the life that you want.
(01:51):
The world needs what you will create.
Now let's dive in to today's show.
There's this quote by George Adairthat goes,
everything you've ever wantedis sitting on the other side of fear.
So today we're going to be talkingall about how do we get past that fear.
(02:12):
And guess what?
It requires us to geta little bit uncomfortable.
Let's be clear.
Nobody likes to really get uncomfortable.
But growth lies in that ability
for us to move past our fearsand be a little uncomfortable.
So that's what we're goingto be talking about in this episode.
(02:34):
Getting comfortable.
Being uncomfortable.
So why are we talking about this?
Let's be clear.
When you want to create the lifethat you really want for yourself,
you're going to have to geta little uncomfortable.
We like to live in our comfort zones.
It's comfortable. Who doesn't like that?
But in order for us to create the lifethat we really want,
(02:56):
and in order for us to do thingsthat are different than what we're doing
today,it's gonna require us to be uncomfortable.
Something that I have learnedalong this journey of starting
this podcast, of becoming an entrepreneur,of being a coach,
is that it's a really deep journeyof self-development.
(03:16):
I'm constantly being challengedto step outside of my comfort zone,
of doing thingsdifferently, of learning new ways,
of trying something that I have nevereven thought I would do before.
And that is how I have
grown and really changed my life.
It is really been a series
(03:37):
of tiny ways in which I have gotten myselfuncomfortable with something
and and been able to grow and learn
and take on new challengesand step into a little bit at a time.
This new version of myselfand and so as I've seen that in myself,
I mean, let's face it,
(03:57):
this entire podcast has beenone giant lesson in being uncomfortable.
You know, little storyis that I remember the first time
that I hit record and decidedto record that very first episode.
Wow, was I uncomfortable. Oh, wow.
Was I not ready?
Or, you know, telling myselfI was just like, I don't know about this.
(04:19):
And I had to be okay with thatand be and say, I'm going to do it anyway.
And I think that that is the thingabout getting uncomfortable about fear
is that it's not thatthose things really completely go away.
And I want to normalize that fact.
It's not that we are ever like,oh, I'm never going to be uncomfortable
(04:41):
again, or I'm never going to have to havefears come up.
Now, that is part of the journey.
Is experiencing this fear,this discomfort, and choosing to do it
anyway, choosing to find that comfortin being uncomfortable.
So in this episode,we are going to talk about
some of the mindset shiftshow to reframe being uncomfortable.
(05:03):
We're going to talk abouttaking on many challenges.
And we're going to talk aboutgetting closer
to the discomfortinstead of getting farther away.
Before we get started,I want to talk a little bit
about what is going onwhen we feel uncomfortable.
Kind of on a biological level for uswhen this is occurring.
(05:23):
Our nervous system has what is calledthat fight flight or freeze response.
And so when we get triggered by something,when something feels unsafe
or uncomfortable or a fear is comingup, our bodies go into this kind of
automatic response where it wantsto take one of those three courses.
Right.
And it's kind of a very,very visceral automatic reaction.
(05:45):
A knee jerk reaction, if you will, thatwe want to fight flight or freeze.
And the thing is that we can learn
to kind of work with thisand know that it's going to happen, right.
And realize that this is a normal reactionthat is occurring
for every single one of us.
And we can learn to work with it,
(06:07):
not be upset about it, or be like, oh,why is this happening?
But instead go, okay,
this is the normal sensationthat is going to occur in my body.
Let me work with it.
Let me figure out how can I expand
my my comfort zone or expand my
ability to be okay, being uncomfortable
(06:29):
so that we can work with itinstead of seeing it
as something that's bad or somethingthat we have to fight against.
All right.
So let's dive intohow do we reframe in our minds
what it is that's going onwhen we feel uncomfortable?
So here's the thing is, as I said,
who really loves being uncomfortable?
(06:50):
I would venture to guessnone of us really love it,
aside from maybe those like peoplethat are massive thrill seekers.
Maybe they really love it, I don't know.
But anyway, the cases
that by and large most of usdon't really love getting uncomfortable.
But here's the thing.
As I said in that quote earlier,everything
that we wantis sitting on the other side of that fear.
(07:12):
And the thing is that we need to learn
to be uncomfortableand feel like that's okay, right?
That we are we're going to still be safe.
And and I think part ofthat is really gaining a sense
of normalizing it, normalizingthe fact that sometimes
they're goingto have to get uncomfortable.
And and being okay with that. Right.
(07:34):
So if you are tryingto change your career, for example,
if you are breaking outsidethat box of what you've been doing.
Right.
Because let's be honest, the career paththat you've been on has been safe.
And it's been comfortable in certain ways.
Even if you're unhappy, it is probably
a lot of the safety and comfortthat is keeping you there.
(07:57):
Instead, we are trying to break ourselvesa little bit out of that box
and and be able to go, okay,I want to move in this direction.
I don't want to stay safe anymoreor stay safe in the way of this job.
Not that we're goinginto a place of being,
completely in a risk areaor anything like that.
(08:18):
But instead it's saying, I'm going tokeep myself safe, but in a different way.
And and instead, it's like,how can we shift ourselves finding
what would really keep us safe,what would help us feel some
some sense of safety,even when we're making big changes
for ourselves,even when we're going to be uncomfortable.
(08:39):
And and so this is suchan important practice that we need to make
for ourselves
in terms of being able to change the paththat we want, that we are going down.
One of the main things that I thinkis really important to remember about this
is that it is temporaryand whether or not we're talking
about the immediate momentsof some discomfort coming up,
(09:01):
or if we're talking about a much broaderperspective,
I want you to remember thateverything is temporary.
The discomfort that you're feelingis temporary.
The the uncertainty of of being able
to make this move or whateverit is, is temporary.
I think that remembering that can help uskind of ease into the fact that it's like
it's not going to be like this forever,because when we're in that,
(09:24):
especially if we're kind of havingsome kind of triggered response or,
you know, that that initial momentof like, I'm really uncomfortable.
I do not like this.
I really want to react and move in thisother and get back to a place of comfort.
We have to kind of
take a beat and go, but this is temporary.
We're not going to stay here. It's okay.
(09:46):
We're just going to be temporarilyuncomfortable.
And and kind of grounding ourselvesin the fact that, like,
we're going to be okay.
I love to think abouthow can we ground ourselves
and the fact that we are going
to take care of ourselves and the factthat we are going to make sure that
we are safe and and okayand, and everything's okay,
(10:06):
but that is going to help us be ableto, to,
to be in this place of discomfortand still go.
It's fine.
Everything's fine. I got my own back.
I'm going to, you know, be okaythrough this to through this discomfort.
Another thing I want you to rememberis that it really,
(10:27):
truly is that when we're in discomfortthat we grow.
And and it's funnybecause I remember someone saying to me,
I think through one of my coachingprograms,
that real success is sitting in the workthat you're avoiding.
And I was like,I do not want to hear that.
You know, like just hearing that phrasealone made me be like, oh, God, step away.
(10:48):
No thank you.
But when I really think about it,it is so true.
It is so truethat the way the path forward,
the way it's for us to be successfulin whatever we're doing,
is probably sittingin the things that we're really avoiding.
And that's why it's like wewe got to like, go,
(11:09):
oh, God, I gotta get uncomfortable.
And and as as unpleasant as that may be,
remembering again that it is temporary.
That is short term.
Because here's the thing about it.
And I want to really make surethat you remember this
when you repeatedly do something.
When you practice something,
(11:29):
you get better at it and you become morecomfortable with it, right?
Like it's just often timesin the beginning
that we have to get throughthat beginning stage,
that area where you're like,this is not what I want to be doing.
This is uncomfortable, right?
Like, I'm new to this thing.
And and so being able to look at itand go, it's okay, it's temporary
(11:53):
and and remembering that fact, you know,I, I shared in the last video about that,
there's this feeling of, oh,when I look back at January, there's all
these things that I have overcome and,
and they have become second nature to me.
And it's so truethat anything that you're starting
the initial phasemay feel that discomfort.
(12:16):
It's that energy of of that newness.Right.
And, and feeling like, oh,I'm going to be bad at this.
Or like, I don't like this feeling,but you're going to get through that.
And after some repetition it'sgoing to get easier.
And so I think grounding yourselfin remembering that is going to help
(12:38):
you break through that initial discomfort.
So remember the real growth is sittingin getting uncomfortable.
And and I want you to just remember that.
But really ground yourselfin the temporary nature of that discomfort
and and know,
like you're going to get to the other sideand look for examples of that.
Look for examples of times that you'vegotten uncomfortable at something
(13:02):
and you've managed to get through itand keep going.
Let's be honest, what I'm doing right nowis certainly something
that I, especially initially,was extremely uncomfortable with.
I cannot express to youhow much talking to a camera
and and blasting my thoughts outinto the air, into the world was something
(13:22):
that was incredibly nerve wrackingand outside of my comfort zone,
and quite frankly, somethingI literally never thought I would be doing
if I'm being totally honest.
But it's something that I have learnedto get comfortable with.
I have learned to find that
it's okay and I will get better over time.
(13:45):
And being able to get comfortablewith that discomfort.
Like right now, I've changed up my set up.
I can't even, like, look at myself.
My screen is over here.
I'm just staring at the camera right now.
That's pretty uncomfortable for me.
But again, I've just learned toget comfortable with it and practice it.
And you know, the first timeI hit that, that, record
(14:08):
button, it'scertainly felt really freaking weird.
And and then over time, I said, okay, I'mjust going to do it again and do it again
and do it again to the point wherenow I don't find it particularly strange.
I have normalized it for myself.
So that's what I'm talking aboutwith that temporary nature where
it's like those initial timesare going to feel uncomfortable, but
(14:30):
as long as you're able to keep doing it,
you will push past that point.
That discomfort is justthat initial temporary feeling.
Okay, so now that we've talkedabout kind of this mindset
and really grounding ourselves in thetemporary nature of being uncomfortable,
let's talk a little bit abouthow do we challenge ourselves.
So here's the thing about itthat I think is really, really great
(14:53):
is that you get to choose the parameterin which you're going to be uncomfortable.
And and in order for usto start to expand this for ourselves,
I think it's a really great practiceto start small.
And and it's interesting.
I've been thinking about thisa lot for me, actually.
I think a major part ofwhy I've learned to to be comfortable
(15:13):
being uncomfortableis actually through my yoga practice.
For anyone who doesn't know, Dharmayoga is a half a yoga style practice,
and in the practicewe are often holding a pose
for an extended period of timeand it becomes like a moving meditation.
And it's interesting,especially in dharma class,
(15:34):
where he often will kind of drift away
and go and help some students,sometimes for an incredibly long time.
Like he gets in a zoneand he just really wants to adjust
multiple people and you're just stayingin that pose, holding it for dear life.
And and it's been suchan interesting practice to say,
(15:56):
can I hold it the entire timethat he is adjusting other people?
Can I be, you know, allow myselfto be uncomfortable in this pose because
let's face it, after a little while,you are pretty freaking uncomfortable.
You're going, I really want to get out.
And and so it'sthis really interesting practice
(16:18):
to be able to go, all right,how do I breathe into this discomfort?
How do I allow myself to rest in thisplace, even though I'm so uncomfortable
and what I realized is doing that onmy mat has allowed me to
then be able to be more uncomfortablein other circumstances.
(16:39):
Being able to do things like this.
What I was talking aboutwith talking to the camera, right,
and being able to applythese little places of discomfort
that I have been practicing itin, and then apply it
to those bigger instancesthat I need to to work through.
And so for you, I want you to imaginewhat would be small things,
(17:04):
what are like the many challengesin which you can get yourself
outside of your comfort zoneand do something in a small way
that would that would helpyou get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Maybe it's that you feelsuper uncomfortable talking to strangers.
And so it's like,can you challenge yourself
to just start a casual conversationwith someone in a coffee shop?
(17:26):
Can you goand can you go and practice yoga?
You can come come to my class any time.
For one of my clients,it was sitting on the subway or,
and let's be clear,that makes me very uncomfortable.
But cancan you do something that makes you
a little bit uncomfortablebut isn't, you know, isn't anything crazy,
(17:50):
but it just helpsyou get out of your comfort zone.
And and it's it reallyis such an important skill,
I think, for us to, to be to,to do for ourselves just in general.
But it's like this is somethingthat is as you expand
this ability to be uncomfortable,
it's going to take you so much furtherthan you can even imagine.
(18:12):
And, and so it's like findingthose little tiny
ways in which you can get uncomfortable.
It's that's how you you start to expand.
This is how we grow as people, right?
Is that we're able to expand our horizons.
We're able to step outside a little bit,a little bit, a little bit,
(18:33):
and our comfort zonewill get bigger in that sense.
And after you do it, realize how you felt
go, oh, wow, I just did that thingeven though it made me uncomfortable.
But I got through it, right.
And so that's why I'm saying, like, trythese little tiny mini challenges
and and do them regularly.
Regularly do something that feelsa little bit outside of your comfort zone
(18:54):
and and make it into a habitbecause it's going to help
you just normalize, these this feeling of going, okay,
instead of having that fight flightfreeze response, I'm moving with it.
I'm continuing forward.
And so that is something that that we'rewe're almost training ourselves.
(19:15):
Right?
I like to remind ourselveslike it's not in the moments
when like something massive happensthat we want to be practicing
it is that we want to be practicingwhen it's like low, low stakes.
We want to be practicingwhen it's something small,
when it's something like that,you get to choose in this case, right?
You get to choose your own adventure,if you will.
(19:35):
You get to go, okay, I'mgoing to take this one little step outside
my comfort zone, start this conversationor, you know, put myself out there
in this way that I don't normally door record that video
that I've been putting off or whateverit is, and,
and see how it goesand do it in a tiny way and,
(19:56):
and allow that to,to become like a normal thing that we do.
Right. We we're okay.
Just like having having that
initial reaction and moving through it
and finding that like, oh,we made it to the other side, we're safe.
We're okayand grounding ourselves in that.
(20:16):
And it's like the more little examplesthat we can find for that,
the more we're able to managethrough the bigger examples
that we're able to go,oh, I already stacked up
this full roster of timeswhen I have stepped
outside my comfort zonein these small ways.
So in the bigger one comes along,you already have evidence
that it can be done,and you can apply what you learned
(20:38):
through that into these bigger examplesof stepping outside our comfort zone.
Now that we talked about reframing it
as temporary and stepping outsidein these many challenges,
how do we get closer to the discomfortinstead of farther away?
Here's the thing, right?
As I mentioned, this fightflight freeze response.
I think a lot of timeswe we want to run away.
(21:00):
Running away.
It feels pretty good, right?
You're like, I'm uncomfortable.Let me bail out.
And instead it's like instead of usmoving away from the fear, away
from the discomfort, it's like, how can weactually take a step closer to it?
How can we actually go, okay,what is going on here?
And and and not be in total avoidance?
(21:22):
And I'm going to repeat this, I,
I mentioned this in the last episodeabout repeated here as well.
In yogathere are these terms of raga and Asia.
It's our attachment and avoidance.
And part of our work in this lifetime ishow do we not get too attached to the good
and not be totally avoiding the quoteunquote bad, right?
Is our ability to kind of find that middlepath, find that middle ground
(21:46):
instead of kind of ping pongbetween these two extremes.
And and so I think about that a lot interms of the things that we're avoiding.
And how do we kind of normalize themand work through them.
And a lot of that workcomes from our ability to get closer
to the things that we're avoidinginstead of farther away.
So how do we do that?
One of soone of the things that I love doing and,
(22:09):
and it's so simpleis really just coming back to our breath
and, and to me, it's like,you know, if you think about when you have
these initial reactions,when we're in these kind of like triggered
uncomfortable spots,it's it's noticing how our bodies react.
Right?
Our body's usually like tense up our,our heart rate might accelerate.
(22:30):
There's these visceral responsesthat that automatic nervous system
response that occurswhen we're uncomfortable,
when we're kind of triggeredor anything like that.
And, and so I think it's interestingfor us to pay attention to, like,
what is going on in our physical anatomythat is, is actually signaling
to us, like, I'm uncomfortable,I don't like this.
(22:51):
And so we're noticing it,we're getting closer to it.
We're going, okay,I see how this is occurring in my body.
And then we're going to be ableto work through that.
Right?
So, you know, everything is is justour noticing
is our paying attentionto what is really going on for us.
So in this case,when we become uncomfortable,
when we become maybe become triggeredor have like some kind of fear come up,
(23:15):
it is it is noticingthose kind of knee jerk reactions
and then the next thing is breathingthrough them.
So our breath is somethingthat is so incredibly powerful and,
and it can be as simpleas taking three long breaths.
And, and I like to think of itas like having it where
(23:36):
your inhales nice long inhale
and a nice long exhale
that'sa little bit longer than the inhale.
And so taking three long
inhales and exhales.
(23:57):
I'll take one more inhale.
And a long deep exhale.
And it's just doing
that alone like even notice right now.
Like I'm talking a little bit slower.
My heart rate is slowed down.
It's like that alone is it's so powerful.
(24:20):
It's so interesting even in this moment,noticing how how it's even changed
my physiology of of metalking to you right now.
But it's coming back to that breath
is so powerful.
Another great example is,
from my Dharma yoga practice is somethingcalled calming breathing.
(24:43):
And so it's a breath of,inhaling for four,
holding for two,and then exhaling for four.
And, and so here we canpractice it a little bit here.
If, if you don't want to listen to it,you can speed ahead right now.
So it would be something alongthe lines of this.
You would exhale completely
(25:05):
and then you would inhale
to three, four, hold two,
exhale to three four.
Inhale to three four.
Hold two.
Exhale 234.
(25:27):
Inhale 234.
Hold two.
Exhale 234.
And so it's practicing this as well
can really help uscalm ourselves down and
and again bring ourselves back to thatlike still nice
(25:50):
slowing the heart rate relaxing
removing that tension from the body.
It's it's interesting.
As a yoga teacher,I've noticed just how much for myself.
I hold all my tension on my shouldersand I see that, you know,
like each of us holds our tensionin different parts of our body.
And so noticing where is itthat you hold tension in your body
(26:12):
noticing, oh, am I tensing up that part?
Do I feel that right now? Right.
Some people hold it in their stomach,some in their shoulders or their back or,
you know, other people get tensionheadaches.
There's so many ways in which we are holding, tensing up, holding on to something,
and instead, if we can
relax and let it go,it's like that's how we move ourselves
(26:37):
through that discomfortis that we calm ourselves down.
We remind ourselvesthat we're going to be okay.
I love these physical practices.
I think they're incredibly powerful.
I also think that there's a placeof of getting closer to that discomfort
through asking yourselfquestions about it, right?
So you can ask yourself, what is thisfeeling that's coming up for me?
(26:59):
Like, why am I uncomfortable?
What is going on for me?
What what is coming up,if you will. Right.
So we can also do some of these practicesas well.
We can get ourselves a little bit closerto that discomfort.
And and so I think all of these practicesare so incredibly powerful
for us to be able to go, okay,how can I support myself?
(27:22):
And again,
as I was saying before, I want you toimagine you're going to practice this
when you're not in that state,when you're not uncomfortable,
it's like, can you practicetaking these deep breaths?
Can you practice calmingbreathing that for two, for breathing
and and making those into kind of normalthings for you like normal practices.
(27:43):
So that when something comes upyou can go, okay, here's my list of things
I do when I feel uncomfortable,I take some deep breaths.
I ask myself the question of like,what is?
Why am I uncomfortable right now?
And and I get a little bit closer to it.
So making that into a practicefor yourself when even when you're
(28:03):
not uncomfortable, you canthen do it when you are uncomfortable.
So so when you're not uncomfortable,you can also ask yourself like,
how am I feeling?
How am I doing?Checking in with ourselves?
I think that this is something thatmany of us don't even think to do, right.
We're just kind of like running amokdoing all the things.
But how often do you ask yourself, like,how am I feeling?
(28:24):
How am I feelingeven when you're not feeling
any particular way, like right now,how am I feeling?
Well, right now I am feeling like,
I don'tknow, I feel pretty, pretty enthused.
I, I'm doing something I love doing.
I have gotten past the discomfortof talking to a camera
and I feel pretty good about it. Right?
So so being able to do these little checkins with ourselves is so important
(28:47):
and so helpfulin terms of when those times arise,
when we are uncomfortable,we can then go back
and rely on those practices that we havealready built up for ourselves.
So even if you're listeningto this right now
and you probably don't feel uncomfortable,you're just hanging out, relaxing,
listening to this podcastor on YouTube or whatever the case may be.
(29:08):
And so it's like, how do it right now?
Practice asking yourself,how are you feeling right now?
I keep a listof some of my favorite quotes,
and this is one of my quotesthat, that I think about a lot.
So it's, Marcus Aurelius and it says,if you are distressed by anything
external, the pain is not due to the thing
(29:29):
itself, but to your own estimate of it.
And this you have the powerto revoke at any moment.
And I love the love, love this quote,because it puts that agency back
into ourselves, right where it's likewe can always choose a different path.
And and so I think this is so importantand everything that we talked about.
(29:52):
Right. You get to choose the path forward.
You get to choose how you arelooking at being uncomfortable.
You can choose to see it as, oh,I'm just going to flee every single time.
Or you can choose to go.
It is temporary. It's okay.
I can get through this.
It makes me think of this parablethat talks about the wolf we feed right?
Are we feeding the wolf that is makingthis problem or this discomfort bigger?
(30:17):
And we're just going to run for the hills?
Or are we able to feed the wolfthat is actually helping us
gain more comfortand be okay with being in that discomfort?
You get to choose that path.
And I love putting ourselves
back into that driver's seatand reminding ourselves of that fact.
Like, you got to choosehow you are seeing discomfort.
(30:37):
Are you seeing it as this god awfulchallenge that you can't can't handle?
Or are you choosing to go,I can handle this.
I got this.
One of my favorite things to tell myselfall the time is I got this.
Or you can say you got this.
You know, you do have this.
You can learn to be more comfortablebeing uncomfortable.
(30:58):
In this episode,we have talked so much about
how we have learned to be comfortablebeing uncomfortable.
So we talked a little bit abouthow can we frame it as temporary
and see it as the way that we grow.
Right.
Like look at it as a necessary challenge,right?
(31:19):
Like, I love to use the word challengeinstead of something that feels like
it's like, oh God, I can't do it.
Like, oh, this is just a challenge.
And we talked abouttaking on many challenges.
How can you make things bite sized?
How can you step outside your comfort zonein tiny ways
so that we can train ourselvesto feel like, oh, this is okay.
(31:40):
We can we can do this.
We have learned to to practicestepping outside of our comfort zone
and last but not least,it's about getting closer to that,
that discomfortreally taking on a lens of saying
what is going on for me in my body,what is going on in my mind.
And it's really about digginginto the problem,
getting closer to itinstead of moving ourselves farther away.
(32:03):
And I will say,if you are definitely feeling like,
oh my God, there's
so many challenges in front of meand I need more support around this,
then this is exactly the kind of workthat I do with so many of my clients.
And to be honest, this entire episodereally came from, client session
and, and a discussionthat I was having with my clients around
(32:24):
really being ableto step outside of, of their comfort zone.
So I think it's it's so important for us
to, to be able to get the supportthat we need when we need it.
So if you feel like you need assistanceand you're like, you know,
this is something that I don't knowhow to take on myself and I want,
I want support in doing so,then definitely go to my website.
(32:46):
Just go oncoaching.com and book a free call with me.
And I would love to support youin your journey of being able
to step outside of that comfort zone
and move yourself into the paththat you really want for yourself.
Thank you so,so much for tuning into this episode
and I will see you in the next one.
(33:08):
Want to create more flow in your life?
Go to the show notesand sign up for the email list.
I'll be sharing more strategiesand insights
with youjust like the ones you heard today.
Remember the power to create the lifeyou desire resides within you.
And I'm here to support youevery step of the way.
The world needs what you will create.
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