December 4, 2024 • 44 mins
In this enlightening episode of Permission to Flow, join Jessica Hwang as she dives deep into the transformative experience of embracing vulnerability through an unexpected avenue—acting. Transitioning from corporate finance to a career centered on creativity and personal growth, Jessica shares how attending an acting workshop revealed her emotional blind spots and the power of professional vulnerability. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, she emphasizes the importance of receptivity, exploring how acknowledging and working through suppressed emotions can pave the way for genuine personal development.
Jessica's journey highlights the intersection of her Asian cultural background and her pursuit of a purpose-driven life. Growing up in an environment where her voice felt secondary to her brother's, she uniquely addresses the challenges many first- and second-generation women face in being seen and heard. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to step outside of your comfort zones, embrace discomfort, and accept failures as milestones on the path to growth. With references to Maya Angelou’s wisdom and the encouragement to connect with supportive mentors, Jessica’s insights provide a robust framework for navigating your own career transitions.
Whether you're contemplating a leap from corporate life to a creative career or seeking ways to push past ingrained beliefs, this episode is packed with valuable takeaways. Tune in for a dose of inspiration and practical advice from Jessica, who courageously shares her ongoing journey towards authenticity and fulfillment. Don’t miss this opportunity to reflect, grow, and learn how to shine in your unique way.
Quotes from the episode:
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” - Maya Angelou
"What is something that will challenge you to shine a little brighter? What is something that will challenge you to embrace your imperfection but show up more as who you are?"
"I don't think that it is by accident that part of me stepping into my purpose has required me to challenge this deep inner wound around being seen and heard."
"If you want to move towards your purpose, your passions, I invite you to step in, commit to the bit, as I said in the last episode, do the thing that feels unnatural, but you know is going to help you move forward and be in service of your zone of genius, because it matters."
References:
Commit to the Bit - 065 – Commit to Create: Lessons Learned While Building the Podcast Studio
057 – Riding the Waves: Surfing and the Art of Continuous Learning
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: @jessicahwangcoaching
Facebook: Jessica Hwang Coaching
Website: Jessica Hwang Coaching
Credits:
Music co-written by Steven Murillo (@someoneinatreeband) & Jessica Hwang (@jessicahwangcoaching)
Production and audio engineering by Travis Carr (@traviscarrphoto)
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm just going toshare freaking everything because that's
where we are right now.
After all, Deena said that
at the acting workshop, her her specialty,which I love saying
this, is that it is learningprofessional vulnerability.
And I was like, well, sign me up for that.
But I didn't know what that meant.
(00:20):
And what that meantwas really letting myself
be sad, be angrythat I have these feelings.
And and I realized, like,
the way for me was thatI would mask everything with a smile.
I was like,oh, everything's fine, everything's fine.
And it was, it was her actually saying,say what you just said.
But without a smile.
(00:41):
And Iit was like a freaking gut punch to me.
(01:49):
So first
off, today we're in the otherstudio set up.
So now we have two studio up.
So you never know where you're goingto find me these days.
But we're back in this setup
and the other set up is over thereon the other side of my apartment.
And let's be clear, I kind of joke aboutthis, but it's kind of the honest truth.
(02:09):
It's not that I have a podcast studioin my apartment, it's that I
now live in a podcast studio.
and to me, it's it's just for now.
So anyway, today's episode
is all about being badat something at first.
And the backdrop of thisis that last weekend I did something
(02:30):
a little outside the box for myselfand I went to an acting class.
It was an all day acting workshop,and it was.
It's called More Than Acting withthe lovely Diana Levy, I highly recommend.
It was wonderful.
So there is something that I thinkis really important about all this,
is that acting is not somethingthat I ever thought
(02:51):
that I would door take an acting class or any of this.
So it was definitely somethingoutside of my comfort zone.
And, and it was interestinggoing through the experience,
because it was also something that I kindof found that I wasn't the best at it.
It wasn't something that necessarily camenaturally to me.
And and so it was really testing mein a way that I think
(03:16):
that a lot of other things don'tusually test me, because, let's be honest,
I try a whole lot of things,but I also try a whole lot of things
where I feel like I have a certain amountthat I'm already bringing to the table.
And, and it's not like I don't wasn'tbringing things to the table here,
but it was just very different experience
because let's say with trying pottery,for example, it's like,
(03:39):
I know that I have a lot of skills aroundworking with my hands
and doing baking and, you know,like there's there's very clear cut
kind of similar thingsthat I'm already doing
that is giving mekind of a natural advantage.
Or they're just things that I knowI'm going to be good at in a certain way.
You know,
I can look at the surfing example,you know, which I had another episode on.
(04:02):
Definitely go and check that one out
where it's like, well, yes,surfing was super challenging for me,
but I also have like a lot of athleticism
and you know, and so that came into play.
And with acting,I feel like it really bust me
out of my comfort zone in a major way,and really challenged me with the fact
that I wasn't the best in the room,you know, and and wanting
(04:26):
that kind of feeling where it's like,oh, I love to lean into things.
I'm naturally good at.
So that is kind of whatwe're going to be talking about today.
Because Let's be clear.
In the pursuit of your passionand your purpose,
there are going to be things alongthe way that are
going to help your zone of genius.
(04:47):
And you'reyou might not be naturally got a thumb.
And that's okay.
It's okay to be bad at something at first.
And and I think it's super importantto allow ourselves
that space of challenging ourselvesin this way.
And it's only making us betterat the thing
that is natural to us, at the thingthat is our zone of genius.
(05:10):
Let's be clear.
It's not super comfortablefor me to do this episode, even right now,
because I'm like, I'mgoing to share with you
how this challenged meand how it made me really uncomfortable.
But I think it's super importantfor me to share that and
and be really real about the experience,because I hope that it will.
I don't allow you to thinkabout these kind of things too, like,
(05:32):
what are the things that
that could help you alongthat you might be shying away from?
Because it's it's easy for us to kind of
push those things away
where we're like, not quite feeling that,there's so often these things
where it's like our abilityto push ourselves
outside of that box iswhat is going to open things up for us.
(05:56):
And so we're going to talk about three keythings.
We're going to talk about blindspots.
We're going to talk about unnatural
things are going to talk about failure.
I think that's going to be a pointin so many of the talks ideal.
But it's it's just such an important one.
Now let's go into the first point,which is blind spots.
(06:20):
This one is super interesting.
There's a few waysI want to talk about this.
and I was thinking about this quotein particular by Maya Angelou.
And I'm going to read it for you.
So I don't mess it up.
It says do the best you can untilyou know better.
Then when you know better, do better.
It's one of my favorite quotes
(06:42):
because
I think it's really importantin two perspectives.
It's one, it's it's this idea where
I think it's so important to remember,like we are we are doing the best we can.
And I say this a lot about myself,and I think about that
a lot for everyone around me as well.
I love to think about the factthat as human beings, we are
we are constantly growing and evolvingand changing and shifting
(07:04):
is this ideathat we are allowing ourselves
to evolve and grow,and we are holding space for the fact
that, like the previous versions of usdidn't know better
and when you do know better, you will,you will do better.
And so it's holding compassionfor the past versions of ourselves
(07:25):
that didn't know better.
And it is giving ourselves space to grow.
And so I love that'show I take in that quote.
This is the Jessica Long versionof taking in that quote.
But to me, it's so important to hold spaceon both sides of the equation
where it is giving ourselves
this opportunity to grow.
(07:48):
And it is holding spacefor the past versions of ourselves.
I'm obsessedwith the fact that this podcast is
really you getting to seelive my own growth trajectory.
And while that is unnerving
at times and strange and weird,I also think it's really compelling
(08:10):
and it's somethingI think that is really beautiful.
Right?
Is this ability to see yourself grow
or you get to be witness to my me
growing and changing and shiftingand evolving over time.
And so that is somethingthat is really important to me.
And at the same time, it's it's sointeresting because, I think naturally.
(08:34):
Let me get back to my pointis that we all have blind spots.
We all have things that we arenot even aware
that might be standingin the way of us getting better.
We all have things where we might notrealize are holding us back.
And and I think that this iswhy it's so important to have community,
(08:57):
to have coaches, to have peoplewho are acting as that mirror for you
because they are allowing they are seeingthings that you might not be seeing.
They are seeing things and able to reflectto you, hey, did you notice this?
And and I think it's it's easy for us to,well, not enjoy that experience because
(09:20):
sometimes you can feel like someone's likepicking on you or something like that.
But I like to look at it as like,they're not picking on you.
They're trying to help you. Right.
And and so the way thatthis acting workshop came up
was in part of me noticing something, butI, I still was kind of like hesitating.
I was like, all right,I think I need to work on this thing.
(09:42):
And I was kind of holding back from it.
But it was my editoractually kind of giving me
the nudge and going,hey, I think this could really help you.
And and here's how and here'swhat I think it can do for you.
You know, that actually gave me the
oomph, the
(10:03):
push, the little nudge to actually do it.
I didn't know how it could help me.
I didn't know what itwhat it was that I needed.
And and so it's it's a blind spot for me.
So I think it is so, so important
of allowing people that space to go,hey, have you thought about this,
(10:25):
this could help you.
And and being receptive to that,
be receptive is a phrase that my dadis like all over my yoga center.
And and it is one of the phrasesthat I think is so important.
I every time I think of itnow, it's like becoming expanding
(10:46):
in terms of the way,the meaning behind that phrase to me.
But I think being receptive is, is like a
it's a superpowerthat we can all work on developing.
It is.
How can we be more receptiveto hearing tough feedback,
to opening ourselves up to new experiencesof going towards towards things
(11:09):
that are going to benefit us in the endand not shying away from them.
All of that isrequiring us to be receptive.
And and so this was an opportunitywhere I was being receptive
to the feedbackthat I was getting and hearing the fact
that,hey, this is something that could help me.
(11:29):
So that is a little bitof how I ended up in the acting class.
And now I want to talk abouta different blind spot.
And that came up in the workshop.
I again,I did not know what I was getting into,
and I'll be honest with you, I was like,I am just I was just being receptive.
I was just like, I am open.
(11:51):
I am willing to do whatever
this isthis workshop is going to bring me.
and to be completely honest, I don't thinkI had really thought through what I was,
what what it really was.
Acting really requiresyou to get in touch with your emotions.
And it was so interestingbecause I it's like
if you think of an artist,an artist paints with different colors,
(12:15):
an actor paintswith different emotions, in essence, and
the first part of the daywas really tapping
into a lot of deep emotions andand letting them take up space
and let him get loudand talk about a blind spot.
For me,I did not realize how much I had been
(12:38):
kind of
suppressing certain emotions
and it was a blind spot.
It was really freaking eye opening.
I it was interestingbecause prior to doing this workshop,
my friendwho had actually recommend it, Dina and
and Dina herself had said to me,you know, oftentimes people end up crying
(12:58):
during it.
And I was a barrel of tearsduring the workshop
because I don't cry often.
And I not only do I not cry often,I don't really let myself
cry often. And.
Yeah, it's interesting to talk about.
(13:19):
I didn't realize how much I was doing it.
And and this is what I was talking about.
When it comes to blind spots, it's like wewe don't we're not even aware.
I wasn't even awareof how much I was doing this.
And and it waswhen I was being asked to really, like,
bring things up to the surface,allow them to take up space.
(13:40):
And it's interesting because I have doneso much work around emotions
and and not pushing them awayand allowing them to hold space.
And yet there was like another layerof that that that was still not there.
And and this is something that I thinkis really important to note
is that whenever you'rein the journey of kind of moving
(14:01):
towards something and you're like, oh,I worked on this thing, right?
Like I've worked on being uncomfortable.
Life always
challenges you and like another way of it.
And you have to go, oh, I thoughtI learned that lesson, but maybe I didn't.
And then work at a at a different angle.
(14:21):
And, and I want to hold space for the factthat that is
just part of the process.
And so when I say that,oh, I've been suppressing emotions,
I will say, oh, I've been working on
not suppressing emotions in these ways,
but this brought it up againIt was so interesting to kind of work
(14:45):
through another layer of not suppressingemotions, of allowing them to take up
space and and being in this workshopspace and, and letting things come up.
I don't know, it's so interesting to mebecause I think
everything is like an opportunityto grow in my mind.
And this one certainly challenged mein a way that I did not expect.
(15:07):
It challenged me to
tap back into anger,
which is definitely something where I
how it's so interesting
to look at because I, I don't,
I don't I used to be such an angry person
and I feel like now, like I,I don't like identify with it anymore.
(15:29):
And so
but it's,it's like I think I've gone the other way.
Right.
Like we swing on a pendulum whereit's like, I then don't want to be angry,
and instead it's like, how can I let myself be angry?
How can I let myself, like,
have all these emotions come up
(15:50):
and and be okay with that?
And so it was so interestingbecause I realized.
So I'm
just going to share freaking everythingbecause that's where we are right now.
After all, Dina said that
at the acting workshop, her her specialty,which I love saying
this, is that it is learningprofessional vulnerability.
(16:13):
And I was like, well, sign me up for that.
But I didn't know what that meant.
And what that meantwas really letting myself
be sad, be angrythat I have these feelings.
And and I realized, like,
the way for me was thatI would mask everything with a smile.
I was like,oh, everything's fine, everything's fine.
(16:33):
And it was, it was her actually saying,say what you just said.
But without a smile.
And Iit was like a freaking gut punch to me.
Oh yeah. So
that's the blind spotthat I'm talking about.
there's different waysto look at blind spots.
(16:53):
There is this idea of someone elseseeing it and being able
to kind of work through that and go, okay,I'm going to lean in, right?
I'm going to be receptive to this feedbackand go for it.
And then there's these times or somethingis just going to come up
and smack in the head
and you're going to be like, whoa,I didn't even realize I was doing that.
(17:17):
But as I was saying in that quoteat the beginning of this, it's
when you know better, you do better, and.
It really unlocks something within me.
So I am really, really,
really,really thankful for the experience.
And it's.
(17:41):
Yeah, I don't I don't really
have wordsfor how much, how important it was for me
to to realize that blind spot in myself,especially around emotions
and being able to tap intothat was huge and profound.
And and I
and I also just want to sayI just appreciate it so much, the safe
(18:03):
space that I was inand the, the container of of this workshop
and the people that were in itwho were all like,
who were interestinglypretty much non-actors
and, and just the abilityfor us to hold space for each other
and to have these strong emotionsaround each other.
(18:25):
It was it was really beautiful.
And and I think that's I don't know,it's it's interesting this ability
because I think that
let's be clear,
like one of the other things,the elements of this is like, not only do
I not like crying, but I certainly don'tlike crying in front of other people.
And to do that,but to feel so held in that space
(18:47):
and to be around people who are,I don't know, getting to witness
this, this opening up of
my being was amazing.
So all that to saythat I'm just very grateful.
And anyway, the point isyou don't know what you don't know.
And and that's okay.
(19:09):
But allowing yourselfand giving yourself the space
to be receptive
to lean in to those potential blind spots
because you just don't knowwhere they're going to take you.
Now let's talk about unnatural things.
when I think about the word dharmaand I think about purpose,
(19:30):
there's an element of you'releaning into your natural talents
and you're leaning into what you loveand you're good at.
Right It's so interestingbecause I think that our purpose,
our passion, they come from
the things that in large partwe might be naturally good at.
(19:52):
I naturally love holding space for people.
It is one of my favorite things.
And and I think it'sa very natural talent of mine.
And along the way of me
stepping in to being the coach that
I want to be of,of helping people, of holding that space,
(20:14):
I've had to do a lot of thingsthat are not natural to me.
This is not natural to me.
Talking to a camera.
It is not natural to me to take up space
and to be
a public persona.
(20:35):
Like none of this is natural to me.
And acting and acting
class was certainly not natural to me.
And yet,I think that all of those things are,
I don't know, like I, I,
I'm going to share a little bitabout my thoughts around this.
It's, it's very interestingbecause there is almost this element
(21:00):
that I see it as where it's like
we haveall of our natural talents and everything,
and then we have those fears,
those things that hold us back, that
those kind of like wounds, core woundswithin us.
And to me,I almost see it as part of your purpose
(21:24):
is going to
challenge and strumup all of those things.
And and it is uncomfortable
and it is not something that we liketo do.
Like, I don't I don't think that it is
by accident
that part of me stepping into my purpose
(21:47):
has required me to challenge
this deep inner wound around being seenand heard.
And I have, I think, through
pretty much my whole life, feltlike I'm not meant to be seen or heard.
I'm supposed to be smalland not take up a lot of space,
(22:08):
and I lived my whole life
until doing all this, fully intending to.
Back away to do what I'm told
and take as little space as I could and.
To let others shine more than me.
growing up my fam in my family,I think that there is a strong element of
(22:32):
Asian culture.
I am a girl.
I am the younger sibling.
I have an older brother andand so it always felt
that he was more important
and his voice
was the one that mattered more.
(22:54):
And and I don't I'm
not upset towards my family,towards this at all.
Like I just think that it is cultural
and part of our dynamics.
And it gave me a big,
this feeling that my voice didn't matter
(23:14):
It just gave me a lot of the feelingthat I
was not meant to be seen or heard.
so it's it's interesting watching
the development of this path
that I have been called tofor whatever reason,
and how it is really challenged that.
(23:38):
Every single day that I work, my purpose,
it is challenging me to take up space,
to allow myself to shine, to allow myselfto be seen and heard,
making mistakes,doing all kinds of wacky things and
(23:59):
and still doing it.
And, This
class was a big part of
pushing more into that
of of letting myself take up space,
of stepping in
(24:20):
to this next version of myself.
And shining a little bit brighter.
So, yeah, it's.
I say that all to say that.
(24:42):
Your purpose is going to.
It it's not just doing unnatural things.
It's going to push against yourself.
Spots.
And there is something
so amazing and beautiful about that.
And so,
(25:05):
that's how we grow.
It's it's seeing that those wounds,
those things, they,they don't have to hold us back anymore.
It's interesting.
I'm going to share somethingI wasn't planning to share.
I this is just been a lot of
(25:26):
I think the growth of this timeperiod for me
has been a lot of allowing myselfto be seen.
And I
every month I do these cover,
this cover arts and for October.
It's interesting.
I usually feel like I'm like a month aheadand like I have the idea
(25:48):
and then I have to live it outin the following month, and I feel like
that's what's happening right now.
But for October,
I had drawnand I'm showing you on YouTube.
But for those who can't see it,I had drawn the star card in tarot
and I had written this quote next to it
(26:09):
and it says stars don't shinebecause they want to be seen.
They shine because they are stars.
And and I think that this is truefor all of us.
Like they're to me. All of us have this.
We're all we're all meant to shine
in our own way. And.
(26:36):
There is this element of
allowing myself to shine
and take up space and be seen
that has been so unnatural for me
because of that wound. But.
(27:02):
But this is the thing.
And and it's interestingbecause I feel like there are things
that don't come natural to usthat are not meant to be for us.
Right?
Like there'sthere's a certain amount of oh, well, I'm,
you know, for instance, editingmy podcast is not my zone of genius.
And so I hired an editor,
(27:24):
and I'm very thankfulfor that decision and support.
And then there are other things like this
where it isin service to your zone of genius.
And that's why I saidthat at the very beginning. Right.
Like that,not being good at these things or,
you know, challenging these soft spots.
(27:48):
Is actually letting
you step in to your zone of genius.
And and that is where
these things are really important
because I think it'sit is been really interesting
to watch myself allow myselfto take up more space,
(28:11):
allow myself to shine a little brighter,allow myself to
to do something like an acting class or,
you know, the photo shootsthat I've been doing and, and challenge
this concept, the self-conceptthat I've been sitting in of.
I need to be small.I need to not take up space.
(28:32):
I cannot be seen or heard and challengethat and go
well in order to give out my purpose,
in order for me to fully step in
and embracewhat it is that I'm doing and the path
that I'm on, and the callingthat's sitting deep within my heart.
(28:55):
I need to do this.
I need to let myself be seen.
So that's what I mean
when I say unnatural things and.
Well,
I, I'm like really feelinghow that acting class really helped me.
(29:17):
So thank you, Deanna.
Thank you to my friendSavannah, who introduced me to her
and to Travis for giving methat push to go for it because,
yeah, it meant a lot. And
and I think that this moment right hereand this episode is, is proof of that.
(29:37):
honestly, it feels really good to shareand I just want to say that.
So thank you to you for seeing me and
for holding space for me to show up
as my full self in this moment,because it really means a lot.
Now that we've talked about blind spotsand unnatural things,
(29:58):
let's move on to the last point,which is failure.
It is so funnybecause in another episode a while
back,it might have been the surfing episode.
I don't remember,but I was talking about failure and
and I feel that in that episode,I was probably saying this exact
same point, let me be clear,I think this is going to keep evolving, so
(30:20):
I'm sure I'll bring this upover and over again and talk about it in a
totally different waynext time, which is really, really cool.
But failure became something
completely different in this moment and,and going through this acting class.
And it was so interesting because.
As I said,
(30:41):
being ableto bring these emotions to the table,
that was a blind spot for me.
And and something I
didn't realize.
I just had no idea
how challenging this acting classis going to be for me, to be honest.
And it pushed me so hard
and I was
(31:05):
it was interesting because I was in a roomfull of people who were inexperienced
as far as acting is concerned,but I also saw other people
just have this natural talent for itthat like part of the day
was us acting right.
We were given as a prompt to seeinga person that we were going to embody
(31:27):
and and we did little,
and we performed in essence
and when I did that,
I saw myself not being the best
and having a hard time putting aside me
(31:49):
and stepping into my character.
And it was interestingbecause I was watching my mind
and it wanted to do its normal thing,which is beat myself up about something
and pick it apart and go, this was wrongand that was wrong.
(32:10):
And why did you do this?
And and here's all the waysthat you should have done it better.
And I had to step back and go,
hey, it's okay, it's okay.
This is literally the first timethat you've ever tried to do this.
It's okay.
And and even in that, you know, we we hadplayed out the scene and the beginning.
(32:33):
I rememberI walked in the room and I was like,
it was like deer in headlights moment.
I had no idea what I was doing.
I was yeah, it was, I was being me.
As I said, I was not being the character.
I did not know how to enter the scene.
It was I was all over the place.
And then I got some coaching, right.
Deena came over and gave me and said,okay, do this.
(32:56):
And I did that.
And then Iand and I watched myself get better.
And yet
my brain went back to that first moment
where I was a failureand it beat me up about it.
And it said, oh, you suck at this.
Look at how you entered the scene,
(33:16):
and look at how these other peopleare doing it way better than you.
And it was just so interesting
to see my, my mind kind of
create the story around it.
And the next part of that was
even more interesting was watch my mindgo, well, let's never do that again.
(33:36):
And I think it's so importantfor us to notice that, to notice
how the discomfort of somethingmakes us want to pull away.
We go into that fightor flight mode, right?
That this was mefleeing for my life, going, absolutely not
and catching that and going.
(33:59):
But it's the serving me.
And to me, it's actually giving myself
the space to go, hey, it's all good.
It's okay that you failed at step one.
You had no idea what you were doing.
And that's okay.
(34:19):
Like that is the point.
That is the point.
And this this is the point for me
is that, as I was saying before,a lot of other things I've tried.
I think on step one, I'm kind of aheadof the curve and I like being there.
I like being ahead of the curve.
(34:40):
I like to go, oh, well, it's all good,
I got this,I can, I can get better from here.
But my starting point was already here,right?
I wasn't starting from here.
I was already like, oh, well,I already have all these natural
skills and whatever.
So I'm already my starting point is here.
So it's easier for me to keep going.
(35:01):
But whatabout when you start from ground zero?
What about when you are.
Oh, and and for those listening,when I said here I was pointing at
kind of like a midpoint, right where it'slike you're not starting at the floor.
You're like a few steps ahead already,
maybe not a midpoint,but a few steps ahead already.
And you're going,
oh, it's much easier to climb aheadwhen I'm not starting at literal zero,
(35:26):
but I'm already at like level three,feeling
pretty good about myself and going,okay, let me keep going.
That's a lot easier.
But when you really feellike you're at zero, when you're like, oh,
other people are at three, not me,
it's it is really going
(35:46):
to challenge you to go,well, how do I keep going?
And, andhere's the thing is, sometimes you don't
you don't need to, but sometimes you do.
You know,there are things where oh, I looked at it.
I said, I'm not good at this.
I don't want to do it anymore.
And you can be like, that's fine.
You know,we don't need to be good at everything.
(36:07):
And that is the honest truth.
But there are other things like this.
Where I could tell that
being able to come into my emotions,being able to be uncomfortable,
being able to embodythis kind of character,
like right now, I feel that
(36:29):
there is this level of
being able to to be vulnerable, be able
to to put forth this persona. Right.
Because let's face it, we're all we'reall acting as if right in some way.
Right?
Like right now I am acting as if thisversion of myself that is
vulnerable and able to
(36:51):
express myself through my podcast,like this podcast persona,
this podcast version of myself,if you will.
And so I don't want to shy awayfrom the challenge
that acting was bringing up,of being able to express emotions more.
It's so importantto not run away from the things
(37:12):
that are actually helping us.
And this was my opportunity
to notice myself doing itand to choose differently.
so. Coming right back around to that MayaAngelou quote,
do the best you can until you know better.
(37:35):
Then when you know better, do better.
I want you to ask yourself,are there things,
maybe even something that you've triedbefore
or something that you want to try,
that you've been shying away from,that you've been going?
I don't know about that thing,
but you know
(37:56):
that it will help you in your purpose.
What if it's time for you to step inand give it a try?
This is the thing.
It's so much more than just an actingclass.
It's so much more than just what?
Any of these experiences.
There's so much more to them than I thinkI even recognize in the moment.
(38:19):
And I think that's why I love doingthis, is I get to kind of
give you the insight,the and and process of myself.
Honestly, it wasit was interesting because before I
hit record, I was literallyprocessing the experience for myself.
What do I want to talk about?What do I want to share?
(38:40):
what is what is itthat would be helpful to say.
And and so it's this gives me such
an incredible opportunityto be able to do that.
And I, I love it.
Now we've wrapped upwith talking about blindspots
about unnatural thingsand lastly about failure.
If you want to move towardsyour purpose, your passions,
(39:06):
I invite you to step in.
Commit to the bit.
As I said in the last episode,
do the thing that feels unnatural,
but you know it's going to help youmove forward
and be in service of your zone of genius
(39:27):
because it matters.
And whatever it is that you are creating,
it needs to come to life.
And maybe you're like meand you're sitting on a wound around
being seen or heard.
Maybe you're afraid of of
doing whatever it is.
(39:48):
What is something that would challengethat?
That will help you
move forward in that space?
What is something that will
challenge you to shine a little brighter?
What is something that will challenge youto embrace your imperfection
but show up more as who you are?
(40:12):
That is what this is all about.
Yeah. I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for for,
giving me this opportunity to
share and express myself and and
push against my woundsof being seen and heard.
It's this is the greatest personal growth
(40:35):
mechanism I've ever experiencedis this podcast. And,
you know, I, I think it's it's interesting
the things that call to us are callingis not inviting us to be comfortable.
Our calling is not inviting usto do things just because they come
naturally to us.
It's actually inviting us to grow
(40:58):
and become the best version of ourselves
so that we can help othersalong the path To me,
it's all the growth and all the hardship
and all the struggles.
It's all meaningful to me
because it's all in service of the thingthat I'm creating, and the fact
(41:20):
that I believe so stronglythat what I'm doing is helping someone.
And even when I don't know,even when I am like, was that good?
I just
trust that someone needed to hearwhat I'm saying.
And that to me, makes it all worth it.
And so I hope for you and whatever it isthat you're creating, that you know,
(41:45):
that someone out there needswhat you need to put out into this world.
They're going to benefit insome in more ways
than you can possibly even imagine.
And if you want support in stepping
in, if you want to get coaching,
you know, just as Deena was coaching mein terms of
(42:08):
stepping into the acting,
I mean, my to me, being a coach is
it's my calling.
And so to be able to help youin your journey and be able to step in
and challenge yourself, do the unnaturalthings, we all need that support.
We all need someone, you know,I think I for one, absolutely
(42:33):
find my clients blind spot so often
I notice the words that they sayto themselves
over and over againthat are tripping them up.
I notice the thingsthat they don't want to do.
I notice the
things that they don't want to dothat are going to help them move forward.
That's my job
(42:53):
is to do that, is to keep moving forward.
And if this is resonating with you,
if you feel that getting coached by mewould be helpful,
then absolutely go book a salescall with me at my website.
Jessica Huang coaching.com.
(43:14):
And it would be my honor
and privilegeto help you along your journey
and help you create the thingthat you are meant to put into this world.
Oh, that was a lot of professionalvulnerability right there.
So thank you again for tuning in.
And it's been a real pleasure.
(43:35):
So I will see you in the next one.
I'm just going toshare freaking everything because that's
where we are right now.
After all, Deena said that
at the acting workshop, her her specialty,which I love saying
this, is that it is learningprofessional vulnerability.
And I was like, well, sign me up for that.
But I didn't know what that meant.
(00:20):
And what that meantwas really letting myself
be sad, be angrythat I have these feelings.
And and I realized, like,
the way for me was thatI would mask everything with a smile.
I was like,oh, everything's fine, everything's fine.
And it was, it was her actually saying,say what you just said.
But without a smile.
(00:41):
And Iit was like a freaking gut punch to me.
(01:49):
So first
off, today we're in the otherstudio set up.
So now we have two studio up.
So you never know where you're goingto find me these days.
But we're back in this setup
and the other set up is over thereon the other side of my apartment.
And let's be clear, I kind of joke aboutthis, but it's kind of the honest truth.
(02:09):
It's not that I have a podcast studioin my apartment, it's that I
now live in a podcast studio.
and to me, it's it's just for now.
So anyway, today's episode
is all about being badat something at first.
And the backdrop of thisis that last weekend I did something
(02:30):
a little outside the box for myselfand I went to an acting class.
It was an all day acting workshop,and it was.
It's called More Than Acting withthe lovely Diana Levy, I highly recommend.
It was wonderful.
So there is something that I thinkis really important about all this,
is that acting is not somethingthat I ever thought
(02:51):
that I would door take an acting class or any of this.
So it was definitely somethingoutside of my comfort zone.
And, and it was interestinggoing through the experience,
because it was also something that I kindof found that I wasn't the best at it.
It wasn't something that necessarily camenaturally to me.
And and so it was really testing mein a way that I think
(03:16):
that a lot of other things don'tusually test me, because, let's be honest,
I try a whole lot of things,but I also try a whole lot of things
where I feel like I have a certain amountthat I'm already bringing to the table.
And, and it's not like I don't wasn'tbringing things to the table here,
but it was just very different experience
because let's say with trying pottery,for example, it's like,
(03:39):
I know that I have a lot of skills aroundworking with my hands
and doing baking and, you know,like there's there's very clear cut
kind of similar thingsthat I'm already doing
that is giving mekind of a natural advantage.
Or they're just things that I knowI'm going to be good at in a certain way.
You know,
I can look at the surfing example,you know, which I had another episode on.
(04:02):
Definitely go and check that one out
where it's like, well, yes,surfing was super challenging for me,
but I also have like a lot of athleticism
and you know, and so that came into play.
And with acting,I feel like it really bust me
out of my comfort zone in a major way,and really challenged me with the fact
that I wasn't the best in the room,you know, and and wanting
(04:26):
that kind of feeling where it's like,oh, I love to lean into things.
I'm naturally good at.
So that is kind of whatwe're going to be talking about today.
Because Let's be clear.
In the pursuit of your passionand your purpose,
there are going to be things alongthe way that are
going to help your zone of genius.
(04:47):
And you'reyou might not be naturally got a thumb.
And that's okay.
It's okay to be bad at something at first.
And and I think it's super importantto allow ourselves
that space of challenging ourselvesin this way.
And it's only making us betterat the thing
that is natural to us, at the thingthat is our zone of genius.
(05:10):
Let's be clear.
It's not super comfortablefor me to do this episode, even right now,
because I'm like, I'mgoing to share with you
how this challenged meand how it made me really uncomfortable.
But I think it's super importantfor me to share that and
and be really real about the experience,because I hope that it will.
I don't allow you to thinkabout these kind of things too, like,
(05:32):
what are the things that
that could help you alongthat you might be shying away from?
Because it's it's easy for us to kind of
push those things away
where we're like, not quite feeling that,there's so often these things
where it's like our abilityto push ourselves
outside of that box iswhat is going to open things up for us.
(05:56):
And so we're going to talk about three keythings.
We're going to talk about blindspots.
We're going to talk about unnatural
things are going to talk about failure.
I think that's going to be a pointin so many of the talks ideal.
But it's it's just such an important one.
Now let's go into the first point,which is blind spots.
(06:20):
This one is super interesting.
There's a few waysI want to talk about this.
and I was thinking about this quotein particular by Maya Angelou.
And I'm going to read it for you.
So I don't mess it up.
It says do the best you can untilyou know better.
Then when you know better, do better.
It's one of my favorite quotes
(06:42):
because
I think it's really importantin two perspectives.
It's one, it's it's this idea where
I think it's so important to remember,like we are we are doing the best we can.
And I say this a lot about myself,and I think about that
a lot for everyone around me as well.
I love to think about the factthat as human beings, we are
we are constantly growing and evolvingand changing and shifting
(07:04):
is this ideathat we are allowing ourselves
to evolve and grow,and we are holding space for the fact
that, like the previous versions of usdidn't know better
and when you do know better, you will,you will do better.
And so it's holding compassionfor the past versions of ourselves
(07:25):
that didn't know better.
And it is giving ourselves space to grow.
And so I love that'show I take in that quote.
This is the Jessica Long versionof taking in that quote.
But to me, it's so important to hold spaceon both sides of the equation
where it is giving ourselves
this opportunity to grow.
(07:48):
And it is holding spacefor the past versions of ourselves.
I'm obsessedwith the fact that this podcast is
really you getting to seelive my own growth trajectory.
And while that is unnerving
at times and strange and weird,I also think it's really compelling
(08:10):
and it's somethingI think that is really beautiful.
Right?
Is this ability to see yourself grow
or you get to be witness to my me
growing and changing and shiftingand evolving over time.
And so that is somethingthat is really important to me.
And at the same time, it's it's sointeresting because, I think naturally.
(08:34):
Let me get back to my pointis that we all have blind spots.
We all have things that we arenot even aware
that might be standingin the way of us getting better.
We all have things where we might notrealize are holding us back.
And and I think that this iswhy it's so important to have community,
(08:57):
to have coaches, to have peoplewho are acting as that mirror for you
because they are allowing they are seeingthings that you might not be seeing.
They are seeing things and able to reflectto you, hey, did you notice this?
And and I think it's it's easy for us to,well, not enjoy that experience because
(09:20):
sometimes you can feel like someone's likepicking on you or something like that.
But I like to look at it as like,they're not picking on you.
They're trying to help you. Right.
And and so the way thatthis acting workshop came up
was in part of me noticing something, butI, I still was kind of like hesitating.
I was like, all right,I think I need to work on this thing.
(09:42):
And I was kind of holding back from it.
But it was my editoractually kind of giving me
the nudge and going,hey, I think this could really help you.
And and here's how and here'swhat I think it can do for you.
You know, that actually gave me the
oomph, the
(10:03):
push, the little nudge to actually do it.
I didn't know how it could help me.
I didn't know what itwhat it was that I needed.
And and so it's it's a blind spot for me.
So I think it is so, so important
of allowing people that space to go,hey, have you thought about this,
(10:25):
this could help you.
And and being receptive to that,
be receptive is a phrase that my dadis like all over my yoga center.
And and it is one of the phrasesthat I think is so important.
I every time I think of itnow, it's like becoming expanding
(10:46):
in terms of the way,the meaning behind that phrase to me.
But I think being receptive is, is like a
it's a superpowerthat we can all work on developing.
It is.
How can we be more receptiveto hearing tough feedback,
to opening ourselves up to new experiencesof going towards towards things
(11:09):
that are going to benefit us in the endand not shying away from them.
All of that isrequiring us to be receptive.
And and so this was an opportunitywhere I was being receptive
to the feedbackthat I was getting and hearing the fact
that,hey, this is something that could help me.
(11:29):
So that is a little bitof how I ended up in the acting class.
And now I want to talk abouta different blind spot.
And that came up in the workshop.
I again,I did not know what I was getting into,
and I'll be honest with you, I was like,I am just I was just being receptive.
I was just like, I am open.
(11:51):
I am willing to do whatever
this isthis workshop is going to bring me.
and to be completely honest, I don't thinkI had really thought through what I was,
what what it really was.
Acting really requiresyou to get in touch with your emotions.
And it was so interestingbecause I it's like
if you think of an artist,an artist paints with different colors,
(12:15):
an actor paintswith different emotions, in essence, and
the first part of the daywas really tapping
into a lot of deep emotions andand letting them take up space
and let him get loudand talk about a blind spot.
For me,I did not realize how much I had been
(12:38):
kind of
suppressing certain emotions
and it was a blind spot.
It was really freaking eye opening.
I it was interestingbecause prior to doing this workshop,
my friendwho had actually recommend it, Dina and
and Dina herself had said to me,you know, oftentimes people end up crying
(12:58):
during it.
And I was a barrel of tearsduring the workshop
because I don't cry often.
And I not only do I not cry often,I don't really let myself
cry often. And.
Yeah, it's interesting to talk about.
(13:19):
I didn't realize how much I was doing it.
And and this is what I was talking about.
When it comes to blind spots, it's like wewe don't we're not even aware.
I wasn't even awareof how much I was doing this.
And and it waswhen I was being asked to really, like,
bring things up to the surface,allow them to take up space.
(13:40):
And it's interesting because I have doneso much work around emotions
and and not pushing them awayand allowing them to hold space.
And yet there was like another layerof that that that was still not there.
And and this is something that I thinkis really important to note
is that whenever you'rein the journey of kind of moving
(14:01):
towards something and you're like, oh,I worked on this thing, right?
Like I've worked on being uncomfortable.
Life always
challenges you and like another way of it.
And you have to go, oh, I thoughtI learned that lesson, but maybe I didn't.
And then work at a at a different angle.
(14:21):
And, and I want to hold space for the factthat that is
just part of the process.
And so when I say that,oh, I've been suppressing emotions,
I will say, oh, I've been working on
not suppressing emotions in these ways,
but this brought it up againIt was so interesting to kind of work
(14:45):
through another layer of not suppressingemotions, of allowing them to take up
space and and being in this workshopspace and, and letting things come up.
I don't know, it's so interesting to mebecause I think
everything is like an opportunityto grow in my mind.
And this one certainly challenged mein a way that I did not expect.
(15:07):
It challenged me to
tap back into anger,
which is definitely something where I
how it's so interesting
to look at because I, I don't,
I don't I used to be such an angry person
and I feel like now, like I,I don't like identify with it anymore.
(15:29):
And so
but it's,it's like I think I've gone the other way.
Right.
Like we swing on a pendulum whereit's like, I then don't want to be angry,
and instead it's like, how can I let myself be angry?
How can I let myself, like,
have all these emotions come up
(15:50):
and and be okay with that?
And so it was so interestingbecause I realized.
So I'm
just going to share freaking everythingbecause that's where we are right now.
After all, Dina said that
at the acting workshop, her her specialty,which I love saying
this, is that it is learningprofessional vulnerability.
(16:13):
And I was like, well, sign me up for that.
But I didn't know what that meant.
And what that meantwas really letting myself
be sad, be angrythat I have these feelings.
And and I realized, like,
the way for me was thatI would mask everything with a smile.
I was like,oh, everything's fine, everything's fine.
(16:33):
And it was, it was her actually saying,say what you just said.
But without a smile.
And Iit was like a freaking gut punch to me.
Oh yeah. So
that's the blind spotthat I'm talking about.
there's different waysto look at blind spots.
(16:53):
There is this idea of someone elseseeing it and being able
to kind of work through that and go, okay,I'm going to lean in, right?
I'm going to be receptive to this feedbackand go for it.
And then there's these times or somethingis just going to come up
and smack in the head
and you're going to be like, whoa,I didn't even realize I was doing that.
(17:17):
But as I was saying in that quoteat the beginning of this, it's
when you know better, you do better, and.
It really unlocks something within me.
So I am really, really,
really,really thankful for the experience.
And it's.
(17:41):
Yeah, I don't I don't really
have wordsfor how much, how important it was for me
to to realize that blind spot in myself,especially around emotions
and being able to tap intothat was huge and profound.
And and I
and I also just want to sayI just appreciate it so much, the safe
(18:03):
space that I was inand the, the container of of this workshop
and the people that were in itwho were all like,
who were interestinglypretty much non-actors
and, and just the abilityfor us to hold space for each other
and to have these strong emotionsaround each other.
(18:25):
It was it was really beautiful.
And and I think that's I don't know,it's it's interesting this ability
because I think that
let's be clear,
like one of the other things,the elements of this is like, not only do
I not like crying, but I certainly don'tlike crying in front of other people.
And to do that,but to feel so held in that space
(18:47):
and to be around people who are,I don't know, getting to witness
this, this opening up of
my being was amazing.
So all that to saythat I'm just very grateful.
And anyway, the point isyou don't know what you don't know.
And and that's okay.
(19:09):
But allowing yourselfand giving yourself the space
to be receptive
to lean in to those potential blind spots
because you just don't knowwhere they're going to take you.
Now let's talk about unnatural things.
when I think about the word dharmaand I think about purpose,
(19:30):
there's an element of you'releaning into your natural talents
and you're leaning into what you loveand you're good at.
Right It's so interestingbecause I think that our purpose,
our passion, they come from
the things that in large partwe might be naturally good at.
(19:52):
I naturally love holding space for people.
It is one of my favorite things.
And and I think it'sa very natural talent of mine.
And along the way of me
stepping in to being the coach that
I want to be of,of helping people, of holding that space,
(20:14):
I've had to do a lot of thingsthat are not natural to me.
This is not natural to me.
Talking to a camera.
It is not natural to me to take up space
and to be
a public persona.
(20:35):
Like none of this is natural to me.
And acting and acting
class was certainly not natural to me.
And yet,I think that all of those things are,
I don't know, like I, I,
I'm going to share a little bitabout my thoughts around this.
It's, it's very interestingbecause there is almost this element
(21:00):
that I see it as where it's like
we haveall of our natural talents and everything,
and then we have those fears,
those things that hold us back, that
those kind of like wounds, core woundswithin us.
And to me,I almost see it as part of your purpose
(21:24):
is going to
challenge and strumup all of those things.
And and it is uncomfortable
and it is not something that we liketo do.
Like, I don't I don't think that it is
by accident
that part of me stepping into my purpose
(21:47):
has required me to challenge
this deep inner wound around being seenand heard.
And I have, I think, through
pretty much my whole life, feltlike I'm not meant to be seen or heard.
I'm supposed to be smalland not take up a lot of space,
(22:08):
and I lived my whole life
until doing all this, fully intending to.
Back away to do what I'm told
and take as little space as I could and.
To let others shine more than me.
growing up my fam in my family,I think that there is a strong element of
(22:32):
Asian culture.
I am a girl.
I am the younger sibling.
I have an older brother andand so it always felt
that he was more important
and his voice
was the one that mattered more.
(22:54):
And and I don't I'm
not upset towards my family,towards this at all.
Like I just think that it is cultural
and part of our dynamics.
And it gave me a big,
this feeling that my voice didn't matter
(23:14):
It just gave me a lot of the feelingthat I
was not meant to be seen or heard.
so it's it's interesting watching
the development of this path
that I have been called tofor whatever reason,
and how it is really challenged that.
(23:38):
Every single day that I work, my purpose,
it is challenging me to take up space,
to allow myself to shine, to allow myselfto be seen and heard,
making mistakes,doing all kinds of wacky things and
(23:59):
and still doing it.
And, This
class was a big part of
pushing more into that
of of letting myself take up space,
of stepping in
(24:20):
to this next version of myself.
And shining a little bit brighter.
So, yeah, it's.
I say that all to say that.
(24:42):
Your purpose is going to.
It it's not just doing unnatural things.
It's going to push against yourself.
Spots.
And there is something
so amazing and beautiful about that.
And so,
(25:05):
that's how we grow.
It's it's seeing that those wounds,
those things, they,they don't have to hold us back anymore.
It's interesting.
I'm going to share somethingI wasn't planning to share.
I this is just been a lot of
(25:26):
I think the growth of this timeperiod for me
has been a lot of allowing myselfto be seen.
And I
every month I do these cover,
this cover arts and for October.
It's interesting.
I usually feel like I'm like a month aheadand like I have the idea
(25:48):
and then I have to live it outin the following month, and I feel like
that's what's happening right now.
But for October,
I had drawnand I'm showing you on YouTube.
But for those who can't see it,I had drawn the star card in tarot
and I had written this quote next to it
(26:09):
and it says stars don't shinebecause they want to be seen.
They shine because they are stars.
And and I think that this is truefor all of us.
Like they're to me. All of us have this.
We're all we're all meant to shine
in our own way. And.
(26:36):
There is this element of
allowing myself to shine
and take up space and be seen
that has been so unnatural for me
because of that wound. But.
(27:02):
But this is the thing.
And and it's interestingbecause I feel like there are things
that don't come natural to usthat are not meant to be for us.
Right?
Like there'sthere's a certain amount of oh, well, I'm,
you know, for instance, editingmy podcast is not my zone of genius.
And so I hired an editor,
(27:24):
and I'm very thankfulfor that decision and support.
And then there are other things like this
where it isin service to your zone of genius.
And that's why I saidthat at the very beginning. Right.
Like that,not being good at these things or,
you know, challenging these soft spots.
(27:48):
Is actually letting
you step in to your zone of genius.
And and that is where
these things are really important
because I think it'sit is been really interesting
to watch myself allow myselfto take up more space,
(28:11):
allow myself to shine a little brighter,allow myself to
to do something like an acting class or,
you know, the photo shootsthat I've been doing and, and challenge
this concept, the self-conceptthat I've been sitting in of.
I need to be small.I need to not take up space.
(28:32):
I cannot be seen or heard and challengethat and go
well in order to give out my purpose,
in order for me to fully step in
and embracewhat it is that I'm doing and the path
that I'm on, and the callingthat's sitting deep within my heart.
(28:55):
I need to do this.
I need to let myself be seen.
So that's what I mean
when I say unnatural things and.
Well,
I, I'm like really feelinghow that acting class really helped me.
(29:17):
So thank you, Deanna.
Thank you to my friendSavannah, who introduced me to her
and to Travis for giving methat push to go for it because,
yeah, it meant a lot. And
and I think that this moment right hereand this episode is, is proof of that.
(29:37):
honestly, it feels really good to shareand I just want to say that.
So thank you to you for seeing me and
for holding space for me to show up
as my full self in this moment,because it really means a lot.
Now that we've talked about blind spotsand unnatural things,
(29:58):
let's move on to the last point,which is failure.
It is so funnybecause in another episode a while
back,it might have been the surfing episode.
I don't remember,but I was talking about failure and
and I feel that in that episode,I was probably saying this exact
same point, let me be clear,I think this is going to keep evolving, so
(30:20):
I'm sure I'll bring this upover and over again and talk about it in a
totally different waynext time, which is really, really cool.
But failure became something
completely different in this moment and,and going through this acting class.
And it was so interesting because.
As I said,
(30:41):
being ableto bring these emotions to the table,
that was a blind spot for me.
And and something I
didn't realize.
I just had no idea
how challenging this acting classis going to be for me, to be honest.
And it pushed me so hard
and I was
(31:05):
it was interesting because I was in a roomfull of people who were inexperienced
as far as acting is concerned,but I also saw other people
just have this natural talent for itthat like part of the day
was us acting right.
We were given as a prompt to seeinga person that we were going to embody
(31:27):
and and we did little,
and we performed in essence
and when I did that,
I saw myself not being the best
and having a hard time putting aside me
(31:49):
and stepping into my character.
And it was interestingbecause I was watching my mind
and it wanted to do its normal thing,which is beat myself up about something
and pick it apart and go, this was wrongand that was wrong.
(32:10):
And why did you do this?
And and here's all the waysthat you should have done it better.
And I had to step back and go,
hey, it's okay, it's okay.
This is literally the first timethat you've ever tried to do this.
It's okay.
And and even in that, you know, we we hadplayed out the scene and the beginning.
(32:33):
I rememberI walked in the room and I was like,
it was like deer in headlights moment.
I had no idea what I was doing.
I was yeah, it was, I was being me.
As I said, I was not being the character.
I did not know how to enter the scene.
It was I was all over the place.
And then I got some coaching, right.
Deena came over and gave me and said,okay, do this.
(32:56):
And I did that.
And then Iand and I watched myself get better.
And yet
my brain went back to that first moment
where I was a failureand it beat me up about it.
And it said, oh, you suck at this.
Look at how you entered the scene,
(33:16):
and look at how these other peopleare doing it way better than you.
And it was just so interesting
to see my, my mind kind of
create the story around it.
And the next part of that was
even more interesting was watch my mindgo, well, let's never do that again.
(33:36):
And I think it's so importantfor us to notice that, to notice
how the discomfort of somethingmakes us want to pull away.
We go into that fightor flight mode, right?
That this was mefleeing for my life, going, absolutely not
and catching that and going.
(33:59):
But it's the serving me.
And to me, it's actually giving myself
the space to go, hey, it's all good.
It's okay that you failed at step one.
You had no idea what you were doing.
And that's okay.
(34:19):
Like that is the point.
That is the point.
And this this is the point for me
is that, as I was saying before,a lot of other things I've tried.
I think on step one, I'm kind of aheadof the curve and I like being there.
I like being ahead of the curve.
(34:40):
I like to go, oh, well, it's all good,
I got this,I can, I can get better from here.
But my starting point was already here,right?
I wasn't starting from here.
I was already like, oh, well,I already have all these natural
skills and whatever.
So I'm already my starting point is here.
So it's easier for me to keep going.
(35:01):
But whatabout when you start from ground zero?
What about when you are.
Oh, and and for those listening,when I said here I was pointing at
kind of like a midpoint, right where it'slike you're not starting at the floor.
You're like a few steps ahead already,
maybe not a midpoint,but a few steps ahead already.
And you're going,
oh, it's much easier to climb aheadwhen I'm not starting at literal zero,
(35:26):
but I'm already at like level three,feeling
pretty good about myself and going,okay, let me keep going.
That's a lot easier.
But when you really feellike you're at zero, when you're like, oh,
other people are at three, not me,
it's it is really going
(35:46):
to challenge you to go,well, how do I keep going?
And, andhere's the thing is, sometimes you don't
you don't need to, but sometimes you do.
You know,there are things where oh, I looked at it.
I said, I'm not good at this.
I don't want to do it anymore.
And you can be like, that's fine.
You know,we don't need to be good at everything.
(36:07):
And that is the honest truth.
But there are other things like this.
Where I could tell that
being able to come into my emotions,being able to be uncomfortable,
being able to embodythis kind of character,
like right now, I feel that
(36:29):
there is this level of
being able to to be vulnerable, be able
to to put forth this persona. Right.
Because let's face it, we're all we'reall acting as if right in some way.
Right?
Like right now I am acting as if thisversion of myself that is
vulnerable and able to
(36:51):
express myself through my podcast,like this podcast persona,
this podcast version of myself,if you will.
And so I don't want to shy awayfrom the challenge
that acting was bringing up,of being able to express emotions more.
It's so importantto not run away from the things
(37:12):
that are actually helping us.
And this was my opportunity
to notice myself doing itand to choose differently.
so. Coming right back around to that MayaAngelou quote,
do the best you can until you know better.
(37:35):
Then when you know better, do better.
I want you to ask yourself,are there things,
maybe even something that you've triedbefore
or something that you want to try,
that you've been shying away from,that you've been going?
I don't know about that thing,
but you know
(37:56):
that it will help you in your purpose.
What if it's time for you to step inand give it a try?
This is the thing.
It's so much more than just an actingclass.
It's so much more than just what?
Any of these experiences.
There's so much more to them than I thinkI even recognize in the moment.
(38:19):
And I think that's why I love doingthis, is I get to kind of
give you the insight,the and and process of myself.
Honestly, it wasit was interesting because before I
hit record, I was literallyprocessing the experience for myself.
What do I want to talk about?What do I want to share?
(38:40):
what is what is itthat would be helpful to say.
And and so it's this gives me such
an incredible opportunityto be able to do that.
And I, I love it.
Now we've wrapped upwith talking about blindspots
about unnatural thingsand lastly about failure.
If you want to move towardsyour purpose, your passions,
(39:06):
I invite you to step in.
Commit to the bit.
As I said in the last episode,
do the thing that feels unnatural,
but you know it's going to help youmove forward
and be in service of your zone of genius
(39:27):
because it matters.
And whatever it is that you are creating,
it needs to come to life.
And maybe you're like meand you're sitting on a wound around
being seen or heard.
Maybe you're afraid of of
doing whatever it is.
(39:48):
What is something that would challengethat?
That will help you
move forward in that space?
What is something that will
challenge you to shine a little brighter?
What is something that will challenge youto embrace your imperfection
but show up more as who you are?
(40:12):
That is what this is all about.
Yeah. I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for for,
giving me this opportunity to
share and express myself and and
push against my woundsof being seen and heard.
It's this is the greatest personal growth
(40:35):
mechanism I've ever experiencedis this podcast. And,
you know, I, I think it's it's interesting
the things that call to us are callingis not inviting us to be comfortable.
Our calling is not inviting usto do things just because they come
naturally to us.
It's actually inviting us to grow
(40:58):
and become the best version of ourselves
so that we can help othersalong the path To me,
it's all the growth and all the hardship
and all the struggles.
It's all meaningful to me
because it's all in service of the thingthat I'm creating, and the fact
(41:20):
that I believe so stronglythat what I'm doing is helping someone.
And even when I don't know,even when I am like, was that good?
I just
trust that someone needed to hearwhat I'm saying.
And that to me, makes it all worth it.
And so I hope for you and whatever it isthat you're creating, that you know,
(41:45):
that someone out there needswhat you need to put out into this world.
They're going to benefit insome in more ways
than you can possibly even imagine.
And if you want support in stepping
in, if you want to get coaching,
you know, just as Deena was coaching mein terms of
(42:08):
stepping into the acting,
I mean, my to me, being a coach is
it's my calling.
And so to be able to help youin your journey and be able to step in
and challenge yourself, do the unnaturalthings, we all need that support.
We all need someone, you know,I think I for one, absolutely
(42:33):
find my clients blind spot so often
I notice the words that they sayto themselves
over and over againthat are tripping them up.
I notice the thingsthat they don't want to do.
I notice the
things that they don't want to dothat are going to help them move forward.
That's my job
(42:53):
is to do that, is to keep moving forward.
And if this is resonating with you,
if you feel that getting coached by mewould be helpful,
then absolutely go book a salescall with me at my website.
Jessica Huang coaching.com.
(43:14):
And it would be my honor
and privilegeto help you along your journey
and help you create the thingthat you are meant to put into this world.
Oh, that was a lot of professionalvulnerability right there.
So thank you again for tuning in.
And it's been a real pleasure.
(43:35):
So I will see you in the next one.
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