Communicating with Power: Connection Over Perfection with Matt Abrahams

In this episode of the 'Pfeffer on Power' podcast, host Jeffrey Pfeffer, a professor at Stanford University's Graduate School of Business, is joined by Matt Abrahams, a lecturer at Stanford University's Graduate School of Business, podcast host of Think Fast, Talk Smart, and author of both 'Speaking Up Without Freaking Out' and 'Think Faster, Talk Smarter.' 

The discussion centers around effective communication strategies to navigate through challenging situations and accelerate career growth. Topics include managing anxiety during public speaking, shifting communication mindset, being present-oriented, the importance of preparation, and leveraging structure in spontaneous speaking situations.

• 01:06 Introducing the Guest: Matt Abrahams
• 02:59 Matt’s Career Journey
• 05:09 Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking
• 10:37 Tips for Effective Communication
• 15:18 Spontaneous Speaking and Its Importance
• 21:47 Conclusion and Farewell

Pfeffer on Power is produced by University FM.

Episode Quotes:

Communication is about connection, not perfection

17:52: Many of us worry about not doing our communication right. We want to be perfect. We want to do it right. And I'm here to tell you, after doing this for decades, there is no right way to communicate. There are better ways and worse ways, but there is no one right way. And by fixating on trying to do it right, we actually get in the way of doing it well at all. It's all a bandwidth issue. Cognitive bandwidth. We only have so much bandwidth, and if part of that bandwidth is dedicated to hyper judgment, hyper-evaluation, we have less effort to put into what we're saying. So it's about connection, not perfection. Communication is about connection, making it relevant. So after we manage anxiety, that's where we have to go.

What are the keys to speaking better?

20:03: If we manage anxiety, we connect rather than worry about being perfect. Make sure that we see things as opportunities, not threats. We listen well, and we use structure. Those are the keys to being better at speaking in the moment.

How do we get over the fear of public speaking?

05:09 [Jeffrey Pfeffer]: What is your advice to help people get over this fear of public speaking? 

05:17[Matt Abrahams]: We have some evidence that upwards of 75-85 percent of people report it as a major issue that they have. And quite frankly, I think the rest of the people are lying. I think we could create a situation that would make them nervous too. The goal, I don't think, is to overcome it. I don't think we ever truly can overcome it. Those of us who study this believe it's innate to being human to have this anxiety, but there are certainly things we can do to manage it. When it comes to managing anxiety, you can look at it as a two-pronged approach. First, you have to deal with the symptoms that we experience—the rapid rate, the sweaty brow, the shakiness—but you also have to address the sources of anxiety—the things that initiate and exacerbate it. It's a two-pronged approach.

Relevant Links:

• MattAbrahams.com
• Think Fast Talk Smart Podcast
• LinkedIn Profile
• NoFreakingSpeaking.com
• Faculty Profile at Stanford
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