Why Do I Keep Procrastinating? Understanding the Emotional Side of Starting Goals | Ep. 276

Starting is never just about the task. It's about the fear, the friction, and the stories we tell ourselves. And sometimes, it's about doing it together.

In this conversation with my husband Ryan (Dr. Ryan McGeough), we get honest about what holds us back, what gets us moving, and what we've learned from books like Tiny Habits, Get It Done, and How to Begin that changed how we start.

What we talk about:

• Why activation energy makes starting so hard (especially with ADHD)
• The difference between rewards and incentives
• How perfectionism disguises itself as procrastination
• Why telling the right people about your goals matters (and the wrong people can derail you)
• The surprising research on rewards: why giving yourself a "dollar to color" backfires
• Habit stacking and productive procrastination techniques
• How couples can support each other's goals by removing friction (not solving)
• Why self-trust erodes when you don't follow through—and how to rebuild it

Key insights from books:

• Tiny Habits (BJ Fogg): Start ridiculously small. Rewards (immediate pleasure) build habits better than incentives (distant payoffs)
• Get It Done (Ayelet Fishbach): Wrong rewards can kill intrinsic motivation. Kids who got paid to color were less likely to color again without payment
• Self-Determination Theory: External controls (deadlines, forced language, performance rewards) can actually reduce motivation by squashing autonomy

Ryan's brain hack: Write down 3 daily tasks. Pick the one you should do most—but procrastinate freely by working on the other two. "Number two is in real danger."

How we support each other: Annual goal-setting practice together means we know what matters to each other. We can remove friction, budget accordingly, and cheer each other on. Most importantly? We give each other space without having to negotiate every time.

Join me this January (all the beginning things!):

• Break Free From Busy mini-course (free)
• Your Bold Goal Workshop (Jan 16)
• Book Club: "How to Begin" (Jan 21 - no reading required!)

Resources:

• Sense the Possibilities Planner & Journal (20+ worksheets to help you connect with yourself before setting goals)
• Plan Goal Plan 2026 Weekly Planner
• Quarterly Plan Goal Plan Your Year Retreats (dates at plangoalplan.com/retreats)

Connect with me:

.css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}