PBT, Episode 30, Legal System for Parental Rights, ft. Adam Vena and Kortnee Graves

an older episode that I had to delete and re-upload for the transition from podbean to spotify.

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
You ever wonder what is the truth?
There goes those two guys again.Why do they care so much about
the truth? I honestly think their questions
for the truth are. Problematic, don't we all?

(00:30):
All right, here we are guys, Episode 30 of Point Blank Truth
podcast and I am here with two very special guest, one we've
had on before, Adam Vena and Courtney Graves.
So Courtney, you are actually Mom Army Natomas, is that right?

(00:53):
Yes, Sir. And you know, you reached out to
us because you wanted to have a conversation about the family
court system and where you see things are lacking, specifically
as far as what children need andkeeping the family unit together
and, and just kind of how thingsare broken within that.
And we pulled in Adam because ofhis situation and what he's

(01:17):
going through. And, and I've also had my fair
share of family court things. I've been on multiple spectrums
of it from when I was in the Marine Corps helping Marines
deal with it. I help friends deal with
divorces and custody battles. I, I have primary custody of my
son from a different state. And then I also have a
stepdaughter that I've been on that end of the custody battle

(01:41):
with. So, yeah, I, I, I was really
excited to, to hear what you wanted to talk about and what
you wanted to do. And yeah, tell us a little bit
about yourself, what your mission is and what this
initiative that you want to talkabout is.
Well, I'm a mom of three. I have a almost 5 year old

(02:03):
daughter. She's going to come say hi.
This is Kylie and I have an almost 17 year old son and my
oldest son just turned 20 in February.
My two boys are the ones who went through the horrific family
loss. Or guess eight years, 8 years.

(02:26):
I also come from divorce. My parents spent ten years in
William R Ridgeway, Sacramento, the last 10 years of my life, 8
to 18. So it definitely has changed
since then. You know, lots we talk about,
you know, if it's versus moms and dads back then.

(02:49):
And when my, you know, my parents were going through it in
my younger years, it was more oflike the force leaned a lot more
towards moms and, and that was agiven right?
Straight off the bat. Custody was 100% straight given
to the mothers no matter what, didn't matter what the
circumstances were. Now we we know we have strayed

(03:10):
more. Obviously there's still some
cases where we're not straying towards that or more towards
dads. But in Sacramento preferably
they are leaning more towards that custody to dads, especially
when the moms are coming in and they have dealt with domestic
violence and they have evidence or the kids have been abused by

(03:34):
say in a situation of the other parent or in my case, a step
parents. So I started my journey with
multiple attorneys. It it, it, it was, it was a
show. I ended up going pro, pro, pro,
you know, pro per pro SE, per SE, whatever they call.

(03:56):
I don't even go with their language anymore.
It's it's like a black book to me.
What does that mean? What does that mean for the
listeners that aren't familiar? So if you're pro per, basically
meaning you don't have counsel, you are representing yourself by
yourself going into this alone with whatever education you
have. I also studied law, graduated

(04:19):
with associate's degree in criminal justice.
And last July I graduated as a paralegal.
Haven't got into that too much yet.
I, I have always wanted to be anattorney.
Law and government was just so Idon't know it, it always stood
out to me ever since I was youngand I always, everybody said,
what do you want to be when you grow up?

(04:40):
And like all my elementary. So I was like, I want to be an
attorney. I want to be a lawyer definitely
you know, have thoughts have changed on that.
I mean, seeing some of the advocacy groups that I've been
in since starting my own court journey with with my kids and
the ADA advocates that I've dealt with the coalitions that I

(05:03):
have a part of support groups. I'm literally fell victim, you
know that thousands and thousands of dollars through the
system draining out four O 1 KS credit card debt, you know, you
name it, lost the job over it false allegations and then moved

(05:24):
into more or less in a lot of situations there's there's some
good and bad to the discussions of it of alienation.
So about five years, it's been about five years, I started to
become estranged, alienated frommy oldest son based on the third
party, the stepparent. And that's when the struggle

(05:44):
really began to see the evidenceof the courts ignoring evidence,
false allegations left and right, trying to replace me as a
mom, undermining, sharing court orders, you name it.
I always tell everybody when they hear like from A-Z with my

(06:05):
story, it's literally like JerrySpringer.
That's like the only thing that I can think of that that like
the, the, the things that you would think that people wouldn't
go through and they look at you like, no way.
Like there's no way you didn't go through that.
Like, no, here you go. It's, it's all laid out on a
table, no matter what evidence was provided, even with, with

(06:30):
advocates, counselors, therapists, you know, court
ordered reunification therapy and a parent who's been in our
children's life since day one. I also went through the court
system, alienated as a child from half of my family and, and
my dad. So I never really knew what it
was until I got on to my third attorney and he started bringing

(06:55):
in these, you know, things of what's going on.
And then it was like, wow. And then I started educating
myself and I was actually pregnant with my daughter at the
time. And from that point, I really
say my struggle with the court really started opening up my
eyes and really what what the hell was going on and what these
people were doing, Not down to mediators.

(07:18):
I sat on 2 trials, one of them being pregnant with my daughter
high risk. So it really started, you know,
when your emotions and I I listened to some of your guys
other podcasts and talking abouthow hold on.
Guys, what's up Adam? How you been, brother?
Good brother. Just rolling with the punches
man. Just listening to just listening

(07:39):
to the the the alienation stuff is is very frustrating to hear.
I think I said it on our, our last podcast that there's no
money to be made with the safe parent.
There's only money to be made with the unsafe parent because
as, as Courtney knows the, the family and you know, the family
court system is, is a revolving door.

(08:00):
They don't make any money if you're not sitting in that seat
and if they can keep you coming back, everybody's making money
from your attorney to the, your your, your wife or your
husband's attorney to minors counsel to therapist, to the
judge, to the bailiffs, Everybody's making money.

(08:21):
And I, and I feel that, I mean, I can't really say the person's
name, but we've got the father up north.
That took him almost a year. There was so much evidence
against the mother to be able toagainst her that she's an unfit,
unfit person. And he is a very fit and safe
father. But it still took an absorbent

(08:43):
amount of time for the courts torealize that, yeah, this, this
mother is not safe for this kid.And this kid needs to be in the
in the in the arms of the fatherand the court system.
Just I, I don't know, I, I, I still don't understand that
case. He was the most fit father for
that little boy. I mean, she's trying to raised

(09:04):
as a girl non by calling him nonbinary, putting putting this
little boy into very unsafe situations.
CPS is involved and there's it'sjust a open and shut case like
Yep, you know what, this mother is not safe.
She's putting the child in danger.
This little boy needs to be withwith the father and they still

(09:27):
didn't do it because again, there's nobody, there's no money
to be made with a safe parent. You know, it's funny when I,
when I hear you say that I, you know, I've, I've heard you say
that before. And I consider, and I'm like, I
don't know if I really, I don't know if I really believe that.
And then my wife was like, well,you got custody.
I got custody of my son, right? But part of that deal, part of

(09:47):
that deal was to waive my right to child support.
And I'm like, my, my wife's like, don't forget that.
Don't forget you had to waive your right to child support.
And I was like, I mean, and I, Imean, I don't think that my, my
son's biological mother is not safe.
But in the context of what you were saying and just generally

(10:08):
speaking, it's just interesting,'cause I think everybody's
experience is so different. And, and also I, you know, I've
experienced the family court system in different States and
they always say that the goal offamily court is to keep families
together. But more and more it doesn't
seem like that. And it seems like there's this
cultural shift where they still abide by that, where it's all

(10:34):
about keeping the families together and what's in the best
interest of the child. Unless you are the parent that
doesn't subscribe to the culturally new ideology, gender
ideology, then you are immediately deemed an unfit
parent. And I have a very, I haven't
pinpointed yet, but I I have a problem with that.

(10:54):
This is a very weird government overreach where we're almost
expected as parents to just raise our children the way the
government sees fit instead of doing what we feel like is best.
And yeah, I, I, I have a problemwith what's going on in our

(11:16):
country, and especially here in California, for sure.
And I think, go ahead. I think I think with, you know,
Courtney Courtney's up in Sacramento because she sees the
bills, but you see all these bills that are coming out and
they're all targeting parents. They're all targeting the
mother. They're all targeting the
father, but family court is, is is is, in my opinion, it's

(11:39):
probably, I mean, I think we allchose the wrong job.
I think we all should have got jobs as a family court attorney,
family, family law attorneys. Because, I mean, some of these
attorneys are asking fifty $60,000 for retainers.
Yeah, who has $60,000 in a bank account or sitting in a money
tree in their backyard to be able to pay for the retainer for

(12:01):
some of these, for these attorneys?
You know, I mean, especially here in California, the the way
they've got parents working 2-3 jobs just to keep a roof over
the head and barely enough moneyin the bank account as savings.
And then this comes on. It's unfortunate that it has to
come to this, this point to family court.

(12:22):
But who has $60,000? And that's just the that's just
the higher the dude or the womanon to represent you.
You know, it's in my, in my opinion, the fact I, I'm, I have
a very bitter, very I'm, I'm sure everybody does, but I have
a very bitter taste in my mouth.2 judges and two attorneys and.
You're and you're in the midst of it too, so that that that

(12:44):
doesn't help. Yeah.
You know. And I thought a used car
salesman back in the 80s were were snakes in the grass.
I think family court attorneys and judges have taken over that
snake in the grass. I used to call them leeches.
Yeah. Like going in, you know, you,
you walk in and you can't even like get out of your car and

(13:05):
like take a deep breath. Like, like, you know, it's
already big enough to go, you know, purchase a brand new car.
Like let me get out of my car really quick.
You know, going back to what youknow, Adam, you guys had said
before, you know, like the safe parent.
And I think what a lot of factors, at least one of the
major factors that I have seen and when we're, when we're,

(13:26):
we're discussing like a safe parent is that it doesn't always
mean a safe, an unsafe parent doesn't always mean that that
parent is, is physically abusingthat child.
And I see what I'm seeing and what I have seen because I have
had AI had an ADA advocate with me in my, one of my, in my trial

(13:47):
when I was pregnant with my daughter.
I had District Attorney involvedof filing, you know, motions
with motions with the court, butalso going on them on the
website because a lot of parentsdon't know these laws for their
rights and their civil rights. And you guys go back to our
civil rights. And in a constitution, it's it's

(14:08):
specifically states, no government or state entity is to
interfere with the upbringing and emotional well-being and
education, etcetera, health and benefits, etcetera, of raising a
child. So what I have come to realize
in the last five years and I've only been out of the court
system for August will be two years since I got full custody

(14:31):
of of my son and. Congratulations.
It took a long ways to get thereand that took that took my son
being assaulted. OK, so that's how deep this,
this goes. But when we, when we're
discussing, I think what happenswith the family court situation
and all these mediators and, andoutsiders as counselors and

(14:54):
therapists, you know, thank the Lord above that I had, I had
amazing therapists that were actually that I mean, I paid
for, I mean, I paid for reunification.
I like the money. I think three years in a row I
was paying $150.00 every single appointment or session to these

(15:18):
to these therapists and I had nolike, OK, what, what?
All right. On top of that you add your
legal fees. But going back to what I was
saying is, is, is talking about like the, the safety and
well-being of children. And I think what I have seen,
because I used to go in and do court watching, I also was part
of a coalition who I learned, who I learned and joined through

(15:41):
with the ADA advocate that I hadcome in when I was pregnant with
my daughter because I was high risk and I wasn't even supposed
to be on on there. I had a doctor's note and
everything. That's how corrupt my judge is.
He's on the robing room. There's another mom and mom army
who actually had the same exact judge that I did.
Sorry to interrupt, but was yourjudge part of the AFCC?

(16:03):
I believe he is. I don't know if he still is, but
he is part of going to like the law schools and he's training
upcoming lawyers and students, which is a huge problem to me.
Like I found out about the robing room.
I don't know if you guys know about that.
It's called the robing room. I'll send it to you guys later.

(16:25):
And so when I started getting into this battle and I've seen,
I was like, OK, like again. No, no, no bad against mom or
dad, but this and seriously hates women like he hates
mothers. I sat in the back of the
courtroom because a lot of people will tell you in these
advocacy groups is you need to learn your judge.

(16:45):
You need to learn your judge's language.
You need to pay attention to these other hearings and how
these judges are ruling and lookat the demeanor and and what
they're what they're Speaking ofbecause they're not always
following that book. They're I like to call it their
little black book. It's legalese.
All of it is shit. It's it's their their, their

(17:06):
their laws are not laws. And we that's a whole another
like rabbit hole to get down. But going back again to the safe
parent is that that they're looking at this is it.
I feel in the wrong direction. And all the times that I would
sit in court watching and I evensat as a court watcher on Zoom
for numerous other parents in the coalition as support to be

(17:28):
court watchers. Because when you start getting
court watchers in on there, they're on their best behavior.
Let me tell you, their whole attitude changes.
It's funny you bring that up because I would bring people to,
to my court hearings and they wouldn't allow, they weren't,
they would sometimes not even I would have to fight them to get
my parents, my son's grandparents to be able to sit

(17:51):
in on some of these court cases and they would not, they were
almost not allowing the grandparents to sit in on the,
on the court hearings. And that's what they're doing.
They're, they're, they're, and, and there's a lot of, there's a
couple other coalitions that areactually out there trying to
pass laws about having, you know, tape recordings, having,

(18:13):
you know, being able to bring your, your cell phone in or
being able to have these you, you'll go on COVID and, and have
it on public zoom. My trial was Zoom.
I, I had port watchers. I had probably 30 people logged
in from all over the US on my. Second, oh wow, so they could
just log into the zoom and watch?
It as long as I gave them, as long as I gave them.

(18:34):
And you could see, because when I was at like my second trial
and I had my ADA advocate there and I could see like the
bailiff, because they're in control.
They're sitting in there and they're having A to let all
these people in. And I can tell you when they're,
when these judges are on the hotseat and on the bench like that,
it changes their holds demeanor.And a lot of people don't

(18:55):
understand that, that you are a transcript.
I, I had, I had transcripts. I got a court reporter.
So there's a lot of steps that alot like in these advocacy
groups is what we do to try to help the people who don't have
the funding, like I had done on the last podcast is, you know,
sometimes your resources just aren't there if you don't have

(19:17):
family or you don't have the credit or you know, you're
you've drained everything. But I went on a tangent.
But back to that safe parent thing.
Real. Quick, real quick.
You mentioned the money part andit's funny that if you, if you
run out of money, that's it, they're done with you.
There's no, there's nothing you can do if you run out of money,

(19:37):
If you've, if you've pulled every credit card, sold every
last thing that you absolutely on and you're physically sit
sleeping in your car to you, youshouldn't have to do that.
I'm sorry. You should not have to spend
every last dollar to be able to be a part of your, your kids
life. And because as soon as you spend
the last dollar, well, that's it.

(19:58):
We're, we're, we're going to wash our hands of you.
You got to come up with another 50 grand.
And then we'll we'll continue this this case until you get the
money. Yep, yeah, they leave you, they
literally leave you high and dry.
And they're not, they're not taking in the factors of that.
And that's what I had said it, you know, Danny listened to that
other podcast that I did. Is it is it's a machine.

(20:20):
It's literally like I call like sitting, sitting in front of a
poker machine. I mean, literally just pulling
the slots. You know, you never know what
you can go in there. And like we had discussed in
that podcast that that I did last year is talking about a lot
of people don't understand is that those fine lines we always
talk about, you know, when we'regrowing up and being taught, you

(20:40):
know, you need you need to be the small print when you're
opening up that can of worms that people and parents aren't
realizing is that you're not just dealing with each other.
OK, You can hate each other all you want.
You're now opening up that can of worms to this person and this
person and you're, you're like I, I literally have said to
people family court and I've told people, don't go there.

(21:03):
You're like, you're literally you might as well traffic your
your cake because you're trafficking them through a
system. I, I tell people all the time
that family court when you go through a divorce or you go
through a custody battle, right in California, I think if you
do, if you fire for divorce, they make you do the custody
first. I think I think I'm right there.
I tell people is you think that you think you're fighting for

(21:27):
custody against your ex, You're not really what's going on is
you're relinquishing custody to the state that you're going to
this court. And you know, like my court
order for my son is in Illinois.You know, Illinois at any moment
can call us back and, and, and readdress things and, and I

(21:48):
don't have a say. You have a third party telling
you what you can and cannot do with your child.
Exactly. That piece of paper, a lot of
people sit here and think, I cantell you, I don't even believe
in court orders. I, I, I, I, I mean, it's, it's
like a protection order, literally.
I mean, it's a piece of paper. It gives those other people the
opportunity of whether or not they want to oblige by that

(22:10):
court order or not, which a court order to me, I mean,
speaking in a legal aspect, that's, that's legal.
It's it's a lawful document, youknow, so you are, you're you're
literally walking into a shitstorm.
Excuse my mouth. And you might as well just hand
over every right as a parent because these you, you, you,
you're expecting someone and a third party who's never met you,

(22:34):
who's never met your children, let alone, let's not forget how
many cases that these judges have on their bench every single
day. Yeah, they're.
They're, I mean, they're super overwhelmed, you know, and, and
a lot of times I, I've noticed that a lot of times the judge
goes through, you know, they're,they're putting people through.
Like when I went to my first trial, it was like a bunch of

(22:57):
people, like how you said it was, it was a bunch of people
and they were just calling people, we're going to do this
first. And it was like the, the
scheduling of like all of the trials and just seeing the, the
loads of people that were there.It's like these judges
immediately when you come up, they're looking at your body
language, they're looking at your demeanor, they're listening

(23:19):
to how you talk. And they're already formulating
an opinion about who is the parent.
I'm I'm with here. They're already doing that.
I mean, judges are not exempt from the human experience,
right? Like there, there there is some
bias on that, on that end. And yeah, it's I heard you say
on the other podcast too, that it's a crapshoot when you go

(23:42):
into that. You don't know if you're going
to get custody, you know, and it's a scary time, You know,
back to what you said about the court watchers thing.
I I realize you I thought you were talking about like a
specific thing. And I'm and I'm wondering is
anybody doing that? But but I'm talking about is
any, is there an organization that specifically goes to court

(24:04):
watch as a normal person in the back and then basically grades
these judges and has has some sort of platform where they're
saying, hey, this judge is biased towards whatever this
judge seemed biased toward. Is there any organization that
does that or or anything close to that?
Yep, they're out there. OK, OK.
So my ADA advocate in the group in the coalition is California

(24:28):
Family Advocacy. They're on, they're on Facebook
and they have a private group and they will go in and post
when parents are going in and they need court watchers, they
will post all the information. And so the post information.
It gives everybody that, that light of okay, if they have the

(24:48):
time, they can get on. They they get on and then you
just literally get on. You say, I'm a court watcher.
You don't have to know it. You don't even half of these
people. I don't even know.
I'm doing it for support and to and to be like, okay, we're, you
know, we're not playing with youlike this in these cases.
I thought mine was that I thought Adams, I mean, Adams cut
his Adams is worse than mine. I didn't have any of that kind

(25:10):
of stuff. Adams is at the peak of the
mountain top right now. I feel like it's.
Well, let's let's keep Jeff Younger in mind.
He's he's got a court hearing todetermine whether or not his
son's nether regions will be removed here real soon.

(25:31):
So let's. How old is his son?
12. And in California, California,
the legal age is 12 went throughthat with my son, my youngest
son, because my son, when all ofthis started transpiring with
him, he was able to file his protective order against the
step parent with a paralegal 'cause I had to, I had to remove

(25:56):
myself because I was too emotionally involved in it.
I did end up having to advocate for him in court.
But I mean, it literally goes back to knowing of having that
support. And that's the one thing that I
kept like literally wanted to scream on that last podcast is
support, support, support. It's out there.
You just have to know about it. I will share that coalition and

(26:18):
I will talk to my good friend who runs it.
She was also lost, you know, herdaughter and was alienated from
her daughter for years. And I mean, they also, yeah, I'm
gonna, I'm gonna try, I'm gonna see if I'm gonna send her a
message and see if we can get you added.
But again, going on to that corewatch when they're in these
coalitions and they're doing this and everybody's sharing

(26:39):
this information, they're joining on like an example with
my trial of what happened in mine.
There was some things with the first trial that I went through
and everybody was able to write an affidavit for me.
I had about, I want to say 8 again for it's, it's been a few
years. So I'm trying not to relive that
trauma. I want to say I had eight, I had
eight individuals who actually stepped up who weren't afraid to

(27:03):
write an affidavit of what what aids actually like had
transpired with the judge and the and you know, they have a
judicial act of what they're supposed to do and what they're
not allowed to do. There is literally, I mean, it's
out there. You can look at it.
What what they took an oath to biased, you know, it's 1 of this
number one thing how they're ruling.

(27:23):
And I had I like I said, I believe it was 88 individuals.
Three of them I personally knew two of them are a married couple
who are also alienated and fighting for custody and are
actually going to like they're going to they're going like US
Supreme Court. They're they're going after
them, they're suing them. So it's huge.

(27:44):
These coalitions are huge and they're very helpful because you
get that support and then they can go in and write these
affidavits and that's when it starts, when you start getting
really deep into it. If you're going to start
attacking and you're going to make that battle where you want
to start fighting back and you want to start filing complaints
with the judicial committee, etcetera.
That's a whole nother ball game.I like to tell people I had a

(28:06):
conversation with the mom this morning, just, you know, seek
seek and I had talked about it actually, and she reached out
and they say we know we as a momarmy, that army, you know, we
don't have, we don't have the legal resources like that.
It's more of support and just inhaving the people who are on
who've been through this. And then obviously in Adams
case, being able to shed light on on this, this corruption and

(28:30):
the Ricos. You know, my judge was involved
in a Rico. You you can Google him and see
he's in a Rico. Yeah, my, my, my first judge, my
first judge was in court for trying to pay somebody off for
running against him. And of course, they got thrown
out. But yeah, he, he, he was taken
to court because he was trying to pay somebody off, not to run

(28:53):
against him for his spot as a judge.
You know what, what's interesting about this whole
conversation and looking at likeour, our society and in the
culture shift that's been going on, you know, like one thing
that I am, I'm a huge advocate for, especially like in school
boards is parental rights. And whenever we talk about like

(29:16):
the gender affirming care stuff and things like that, you know,
bring up like, Hey, don't you think 12 is a little young to
make their own decision? And, you know, some people we
say, you know, well, of course the parents are probably
involved. You know, like everybody always
says, these kids can't do that without parental consent.

(29:37):
And I'm like, yeah, up to 12. And then they go, well, I'm sure
they talk to their parents. But then if I talk about Adam,
your situation or that other gentleman you spoke about
earlier, it's so funny how parental rights goes out the
window. Why?
Because politically, you don't agree with that parent.
What makes your view a priority over this person's?

(29:58):
This is their kid. This person is the parent.
And don't forget that as, as a parent, you, you know, you, you
make those decisions. If you were to go on a court
system, you were to say hand, hand your child a bottle of
alcohol or let your, let your child smoke a cigarette or, or,
or it give them drugs or let them drive and they don't have a

(30:18):
permitted or a driver's license,you're deemed an unfair parent.
You're losing custody. That's it.
It's it's illegal for your childunder 18 to sit in the tattoo
shop with you while you get a tattoo, but here we are.
We're bigots for saying no. I would prefer it if my son
didn't cut anybody parts off before he or she was 18 or

(30:42):
whatever the case may be. It's, it's, it's, it's crazy
that we're here at this point. And whenever you talk about it
with, with people, it seems likethey just tune it out.
It's like, are you not aware of what's going on?
I did a podcast months ago with this, with this gentleman, this
local guy. And it, it was a couple of

(31:05):
months after that. What is a woman documentary came
out and in, I don't know if you guys seen it, but in that
documentary, he was talking to adad who's going through what
you're going through Adam in Canada.
So I, I, I'm, I'm trying to talkto the dad on my podcast, like,
Hey, you know, what's going on in Canada?
And I told him and he goes, oh, see, that's Canada.

(31:25):
I don't care. And it's like, well, how about
now you know, you know, so it's,it's incredible to me to see
what's going on. But what are some things that
you believe parents can do? Like what, what is some advice
that you would have, Courtney, with your experience for dads

(31:46):
like Adam or other parents may be listening who are going
through custody battles? What, what, what is some advice
to help guide you through these things?
What are some things that you would say to a parent that is
very concerned and and in the midst of the custody battle?
So many, well, you, you know, you did listen to the last

(32:08):
podcast and I said there's no emotion and coming as a mother
figure, how, how I mean, and, and I'm not discrediting dads
'cause we all know y'all, you know, you guys are emotional,
but women are. I'm not offended.
I'm not. Women are more emotional.
It's a given, it's a factor, it's a reality.

(32:28):
We are emotional human beings. We share our feelings
differently. We are we cry differently, you
know, so there's no emotion. I like I said in that last
podcast, I did you literally it,it it's almost as if you become
a that's the only thing I can ever tell people that I've told

(32:51):
in any of the the conversations that you're literally becoming a
robot. Like there, it, it, it's, it's
it's there's no like the tin man.
It's literally like the tin man.No art, no soul, these people.
There's no family in family courts, and no.
Soul. No soul.
There's no and, and when you're in the battle so far.

(33:15):
I think this was asked of me thelast time and they had, you
know. Do you see any change?
Do you see change coming? Is there any hope?
You can always, like I said, youalways have hope and we never
give up hope as a parent. I mean, no parent should ever
have to fight to be a parent, you know, And you know, like I
said, we're all, we all make mistakes.

(33:36):
We all make gifts. But if your children, you're a
fit parent, you've been there since day one.
You've raised that kid since dayone.
Unless there is some ulterior motive of or, or some hard, hard
evidence of, of these children being abused and emotional abuse
is included in that. So it goes back to my whole
report. Part of what I was saying
earlier about, you know, diagnosing we're, we're, we're

(33:57):
diagnosing parents. Like do these people have PhDs?
They try to diagnose me. I'm like $25 for a mental
evaluation while I'm 8 months pregnant.
Yeah. OK.
You know what I'm saying? Like, are you serious right now?
Is this another tactic for me toput money in into the course?
Like literally 2800 dollars? Well, like, you already know, as

(34:19):
a pregnant female, our hormones are wacko and we're crazy.
Why would you ever think that? So again, it goes back and I, I,
I had a conversation with a mom this morning, you know, and you
know, there's a lot of parents out there who they are, they
drained by the end, like we, yousaid earlier, or they don't have

(34:40):
the resources. And, and the most important
advice that I try to give peoplebecause towards the end, that's
where I, I had to go is, is start.
Obviously I graduated as a paralegal.
Obviously I've done, I, I have criminal justice background.
Obviously, I've been in the system for well over we're going
on what, 18 years and you take my childhood and and my divorce.

(35:04):
There's so many Reese's or out there at our hand at like
literally at our fingertips. Law libraries.
I don't really recommend the resource centers of the family
help centers. They don't do anything.
They're lazy. They're there to help, but they
literally they, they don't online researching.
I, I even went to an extent at some point where I was calling

(35:27):
around and, and getting free consultations with attorneys.
Didn't I gave them a brief explanation of what was going on
and I started using them to my advantage.
Like, OK, you I got a 30 minute consultation.
Hey, 30 minutes is better than nothing.
I pulled law books, I pulled allof my stuff from paralegal.

(35:50):
I started researching the familylaw codes and that's what I told
the one mom this morning is that, and I don't mean this in a
negative manner, but our societyhas been dumbed down on purpose
to be ignorant and an ignorant. I, I mentioned that in my last
podcast and if you heard it, it's ignorant is not a
terminology of saying that people are stupid.

(36:12):
People think that when you say, oh, that's an ignorant thing to
say or that's an ignorant person.
It's not it's, it's ignorant is a lack of knowledge.
It has nothing to do with the person being stupid or dumb.
You know, a lot of people are like, oh, wow, that's that's
really cruel. Like, no, we are an ignorant
society. We are a lazy society.
And they've done that on purpose.
If you look up the family law code just for California and how

(36:33):
many sections and amendments in Section 1 and Section 2, it's
thousands and thousands of pages.
It's just like our daily laws with police code.
They are made like that on purpose because they know that
people are not taking the time to educate themselves and they
make it so monstrous and so lengthy that these people like,

(36:54):
I don't want to read that. It's almost like going and
buying a car. Let's go back to the
conversations. How many pages do you get when
you go buy a damn car? Do you read the small print?
Do you really know what that is?Let alone that's a contract
which then highlights on when you're getting into family
court, you are now putting yourself in a legal binding
contract with that court with those individuals and where you

(37:18):
have no say anymore at all it you're, you're playing their
game. So educating I, I, I, I sat for
hours. I work 2 jobs.
I am a full time mom. I volunteer I'm I am a team mom
for my son's football. I literally would sit up eleven
12:00 at night reading. I was highlighting, I would go
back and you all of my court documents for all of the that

(37:40):
all the attorneys had done. I was literally going through
and learning how to do the paperwork.
OK, this is, you know, this is form what form 333.
You know that their, their codesand all this malarkey that they
do. But you know what is a contempt?
You know, what is a motion to compel what you know, all these
things. So I started highlighting and,
and making notes and binders andit literally, it consumes you.

(38:04):
It really consumes you. And what's frustrating when you
start getting into those times where you're, you're trying to
educate yourself and you're taking that time, you're
learning family law codes. I mean, I have stacks.
I mean, I, I, I probably have about 6 bins, not just my family
law court case, but also in all the things that I did to try to
educate myself because I ran outof money in the end.

(38:29):
And I, like I explained to the mom earlier, I said, you know,
she's just you, you get that helpless feeling like what, what
do you do? You, you, you don't want your
child because then you're, you're stuck and you're like, Oh
my God, these people are alreadytelling my, my kid, you know, I
don't love them. I hate them.
I'm, you know, I'm not fighting for them.
And what do you do when you get to that point as a parent?
You, you have no resource and it's built that way.

(38:52):
It's literally built that way. And if you you have to have
tough skin, you cannot go in like crying is literally as a
female, like the worst. I can't tell you how many times
I was condemned for literally crying in front of my judge.
There was no empathy whatsoever to understand is like, hey, like
this is my child. This is my child.

(39:15):
Like what parent when you get into these situations and you
have a like conflict, confliction and so much hate and
drama. What why, what what human being
wouldn't be irate? What are you being?
Wouldn't be upset. Yeah, I I totally agree.
Why do you think I'm sitting here and I'm hearing what you're

(39:39):
saying right? And it and it makes sense.
But why do you think that is? What?
What, What do you think has madethese judges, the leaders at the
top of this system, so desensitized to humans?
Kind of the same question you have to ask law enforcement.

(40:02):
They deal with it every single day.
I ask the same question and that's literally.
I have friends who are law enforcement who I've known since
high school and. You see these things and you,
you, it's an everyday thing. And I think, and I don't want to
say, I don't want to make an excuse to say it's something
natural because I don't ever think that it it, it's not
natural for somebody to be inhumane.

(40:24):
That is not an that is not a natural tactic.
We are spiritual human beings. That's what we, that's how we're
built just as humans. So I think what I think what
happens is because they are so overloaded and there's so many
cases, I think that what I have experienced myself and just my
personal judge is just seeing that inhumane just black soul

(40:47):
like you just looking at his eyes.
If I showed you guys a picture, you just see it.
It's it's it's terrifying because you're literally staring
at somebody and it's almost likeyou're just looking right
through them, like there's nobody there.
And I think they are becoming desensitized because this is
such an overwhelming machine andthere's so many cases and the

(41:08):
divorce rate is so astronomical.It's disgusting.
And they don't care because at the end of the day, they're
leaving that courthouse and they're going home to their
family. They're going home to their
children, or they're going home to their husband or their wife.
Or maybe they go home alone. Maybe they, you know, some might
go home alone, live miserable lives.

(41:29):
I don't know, but I really thinkthat's where it's come is that
they are becoming so inhumane and and having to forcefully
desensitize themselves because it doesn't affect them, it
doesn't affect them. No, it doesn't affect them and
it it they don't care about the I I personally don't think

(41:49):
family court judges care about the family.
They're supposed to be there to keep like like you said earlier,
they're supposed to keep the family intact.
They're supposed to do everything to keep the family
intact. But when in fact they're,
they're tearing the family apart.
They're they're tearing the family apart.
From my understanding, the only way that you can remove a parent
or parents from a child's life if there's there's physical

(42:10):
abuse and neglect. That's the only way that.
In our Cal Penal Code. Yep, that's the only way that a
child can be removed from both parents or one parent, right?
If there's any of those. And in my case, there was no
physical abuse and there was no neglect, no neglect, and they
removed my son from me just because I was not that

(42:31):
affirming. Which has absolutely nothing to
do with being an unfit parent. And then you add in the title 4
and title 5D child support, all this, it's, it's a machine.
And the quicker we start attacking that machine itself,
we always talk about this in the, in the the conspiracy

(42:52):
theories and everything that's going on in the world.
Follow the money, follow the money.
If there's no money there, of course, why would they?
Why wouldn't they give both parents shared equal custody?
And, and a lot of people don't know this, which surprised me
and, and I'm sure it'll surpriseyou guys, but a lot of people
don't understand that when you're paying child support, for

(43:12):
example, a cut of that goes to the court system, you're paying
like a tax to the system that put this fee on to you.
Essentially, well, thank God I don't pay through the court
system. I I don't pay my child support
through the court system. I really on.
Both ends. I've paid it and I've received
it. Yeah, no, I know both sides of
it. And, and you know, like, but

(43:35):
when you have a parent who absolutely chooses to just
withdraw completely because of athird party interfering and,
and, and forcing them to do thatnot have anything to do with the
child, then what, you know, whatdo you do?
So there, you know, it's, it's, it's Muddy Waters.
It's, it's really Muddy Waters and it needs so much reform in
what's going on and more of us obviously standing up.

(43:59):
I mean, I was telling the one mom today, there is attorneys
out there who will, who, who do have right in their hearts.
It's hard to find and I think I discussed this in the last
podcast about judges and you know, mediators and you know, I
had good and bad. I think it is just a luck of a
draw of who you're really given.But there's options to get those

(44:20):
people out like, and we're talking about how recall, you
know, trying to get them to, youknow, leave the case or you, you
have a certain amount of time ifyou can prove that.
Now, whether or not your attorney will do that or not, it
doesn't matter like that. That's a different case.
That's that's so funny. My first attorney told me that I
was not allowed to ask for a geta new judge but when in fact I

(44:43):
was allowed to file the 170.6 toto get a new judge and my first
attorney told me I was not allowed to do that and I had
come to find out. I'm like I'm like what the fuck?
No I I'm sorry but I'm able to get a new.
It's all good. You could curse on here.
No big. Deal.
I'm like, I'm able to get it okay good because I feel more
comfortable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(45:04):
Like a little bit of a sailor, but.
And that's because they know, like I told the mom this
morning, is I call it a brotherhood.
Oh yeah, brotherhood. It's it reminds me of like
these, these tiered companies orthese, these pyramids of where
like they have this main person.And then there's these people.
And then they recruit all these people, you know, underneath the
judicial community and as well as the bar of associate, the

(45:25):
association bar for the attorneys.
They they have like they acknowledge or know that another
person within that. What do I I don't want to call
it a how I'm trying to think of what's the best word of that
tier. OK, as in like the judicial
committee with judges. If they know that another judge

(45:46):
has committed something that's not in the judicial act of that
they are lawfully supposed to report them.
It is also a law with attorneys.They are also supposed to report
another council if they are not following the judicial process
and procedure and they're doing that and people are not asking

(46:10):
like why? Why are they're not holding them
accountable? So it sounds like there's this
internal system of accountability that's meant to
hold the subject matter experts accountable within each other,
and they just don't want to do it.
Do you think that's like a good old boys club where it's like,
we don't do that, That's like frowned upon?
Or is it because they're lazy? Or are there attorneys and

(46:33):
judges who do that? I mean, what's your experience
with that? I just love 2 just from the Bay
Area that were attorneys and I actually taught, I had talked to
Zeke about this and I told this mom today, part of the
coalition, there was 2 civil right attorneys that were going

(46:53):
after the the courts and the judges and going to filing them
in federal court, going to Supreme and one of them two
weeks before trial, two weeks before trial, murdered in his
front yard. Oh yeah, imagine that.
What were you going to say, Adam?
I was going to say just to go just to show in my case, the

(47:16):
corruption or the the biasness in my, in my case or in the
family court's case that I did apodcast about the AFCC, right?
Come to find out that my first judge was on the board of
directors of the AFCC, right? As soon as I dropped that
podcast, right, calling the AFCCout, he recused himself with

(47:42):
without cause. So he didn't give a cause why he
was removing himself. He just dropped his dropped the
case. And from all the attorneys that
my attorneys talked to and I've talked to other attorneys, they
have never heard of a judge removing himself from a case
three years into it, right? So then we go to the second
judge. The second judge was the

(48:04):
president of the AFCC. We filed a 10170.6 on this judge
and he would not remove himself.And we filed it within the time
manner that we had right. And we filed the second one.
He still would not remove himself from this case.
And it's that that Judge Harvey Silverman did more damage out

(48:27):
of, I don't care if I drop his name, Judge Harvey Silverman.
Judge Harvey Silverman was a nothing wrong with gay people,
but he was a gay, gay judge. His first, His first being an
attorney was helping the LGBTQ community in West Hollywood,
right? And that's why I wanted a normal
judge. I didn't want a judge that was
too far to the left or too far to the right.

(48:48):
I wanted somebody down the middle.
And I feel that if I had a judgethat was down the middle in this
case, the things would not have escalated to the point that they
are today. I feel that I would not have had
if I had a judge down the middle, he would not have
ordered a gender assessment. Yeah, you, you, you wanted a
judge that was that right off the bat you knew wasn't going to

(49:09):
show any any bias and and if thejudge is gay, nothing against
gay people, but obviously. And the judge would not allow me
to sit in on the gender assessment.
Wow, yeah. Would not allow my therapist
that I had hired to sit on the gender assessment.
Until this day. I still have, like I said in the
previous podcast that you and I did, I still have not talked to

(49:30):
the doctors. I know one thing, I had a
question on that and, and, and him not recusing himself and
knowing all that bias. Have you mentioned to the
attorney to file with the judicial committee?
We're. The complaint?
I, I, I don't know. I, I'm going to be honest with

(49:54):
you. I don't trust anybody.
You shouldn't, man. You shouldn't.
I don't. You know you can file that on
your own, right? You don't need your, you don't
need your attorney to do that for you.
You have every right as a citizen.
I'll just tell you right now thearrest the the the arrest was
bogus. My arrest was bogus.

(50:14):
My I didn't want I don't want this to turn just but my arrest
was bonus. The search warrant on my house
was was was bogus. The the 26 weeks of anger
management was bogus. The 26 weeks of of child abuse
classes was bogus. The second arrest from the bail
bondsman drop dropping my bail so I had to get rearrested and

(50:37):
then fucking post bail again. There was no anyways, so.
I'm no bro. I'm hey brother, I'm with you,
Adam. And and we talked, we talked
before and I totally get it. It's been a while since I've
I've I've talked, I've been, I've shut down for the last
month and 1/2 so I apologize. No, man, you're good.

(50:59):
You're good, man. I.
No, we need to bring it. It needs to be brought out and
what, what you know, not just our own situations, but knowing
that we're not the only we're not the only parents that are
going through this. There's thousands and thousands
of parents and. I think it's.
The system, yeah, system needs to be changed.

(51:21):
And there's only way to change something.
I'm a person about, not about excuses, about solutions.
And the only solution to this ismore people coming out and more
people speaking about their situation and their journeys
within the court and what's going on and exposing these
people. People don't like to be exposed

(51:42):
generally in, in society, let alone these people who hold
these titles, who think that they are just, you know, God
himself because they wear a black robe.
Don't get me down that rabbit the whole either because we all
know the legalese and all that, like I said earlier, is that's
they don't like exposure and that's when they start bringing

(52:03):
on the gag orders. That's when they start putting
on the court orders of when you can't talk about things or you
can't post on social media in there.
Done that. I wish.
They would have and. And again, that's your, that's
your First Amendment right. So then we start getting into
those other situations of where they're now violating your
constitutional rights and that and, and that's what's

(52:25):
happening. And, and it's about educating
and then the moral exposure. We talk about this in the
coalitions. Is it exposing?
That's why they have the war, the the robing room.
That's why we start talking about our stories and getting it
out there and sharing it and getting exposure and getting
court watchers and writing affidavits and really starting
to hammer these systems. But if you don't do that, if

(52:49):
you're not filing complaints when, when these judicial acts
are taking place that you know, are not, they're not lawful, how
do you hold these people accountable when we're not even,
we're not even doing the work that we're supposed to be doing
to hold them accountable? And, and it's set up to where we
can, it's biased, but it doesn'tmatter because it starts setting
a pattern. And then you have certain

(53:11):
parents that I had personally spoken to in the coalitions of
where they're actually going public, they're going on news.
They, I mean, they're, they're blowing it up, you know, so
exposure, it's, I can't express that enough.
And the fear of, I mean, I've spent years being silenced and
scared. Like what's going to happen to
me? What if I say something?

(53:31):
What is my judge going to do? Or are they going to go
screenshot something if I post it on social media?
And it happened, it did happen to me.
So many violations and so. So, OK, so I want to know so
right, you guys, I mean, we all went through the court, the
court system, the family court system and you know, I think I'm

(53:54):
pretty fortunate with my situation and and what happened.
But you know, I tell people, youknow, initially I lost my
custody battle, you know, and then I was provided an
opportunity, unless you want to do a full home and background
and then I had to pay for that and that's what we did.
Oh, did we lose Adam I? Think we lost Adam?

(54:15):
Oh, here he is. Well, and then you get into the
whole different jurisdictions too, which becomes even more
tricky because you're where you're actually living versus
the jurisdiction of where your court case is, is happening, you
know, so it that becomes even more tricky and the money maker
and that and that factor. Yeah, no, totally sorry, Adam.

(54:37):
You good? We lost you, man.
Yeah, I'm having some Internet issues.
I don't know what's going on. I see.
Dude, you keep talking about thejudges bro.
They're listening through the bugs in your wall.
Bro, that's not the. That's not the first time.
Not the not the first time. Well, well, I, I guess the, the
whole thing that I was trying toget to right is just, Adam, I

(54:59):
know you're going through it, Courtney.
I know you've been through it and, and you've been a
powerhouse. You did your own research and
you made sure that you were educated and you made sure that
you pushed through 18 years of experience in the family court
system. I know that I'm fortunate for my
situation and getting custody ofmy son from another state.

(55:20):
But one thing that I do know, looking back now is I always
make it an effort and a point toCo parent to make sure that my
son can have time with his mom. I make sure to prioritize that.
That's very important to me. And I know that if things went
the other way, I probably wouldn't have received that same

(55:43):
courtesy at the level that I provide for her.
And I'm curious to know one of two things and maybe Courtney go
first. I want to know one, what do you
think an immediate remedy to oursystem is like?
For example, do you think that it should be mediation?
Do you think that the court should be pushing for more 5050

(56:06):
custody instead of trying to seehow can we squeeze the most
money out of what? And then also how does Co
parenting and being able to workwith your ex or your kids
parent, whoever it is, how does that play into it in your vision
and what you see as as how it should be?

(56:28):
So as far as the 5050 shared parenting, I know that's a lot
of what a lot of groups are shooting for and, and a lot of
the states is having those billspassed where it's automatic 5050
shared parenting, obviously excluding situations of where
there is abuse to a child or domestic violence, etcetera.
You know, but again, that comes with having hard evidence and,

(56:51):
and, and again, sometimes when you do have that evidence, it's
not, it's not, it's not taking into account like they, they
ignore it. So again, I think it starts as
the judicial portion of it, of educating, because a lot of
these judges are not trained in domestic violence.
They're not, they're not therapists.
They're not, they're, they don'thave a degree in therapy.

(57:12):
They're not doctors, but they'retreating cases as such.
And they're making major decisions on these cases in
aspects of where they're, they don't even have a degree in that
they don't train. They like, like officers, They
don't. I mean, they take certain
courses when they're going into law, obviously an officer,
obviously, but the mental healthpart part of that like is

(57:34):
lacking. And I know that here like that's
a lot of what they're shooting for in that situation if they're
actually sending different people out because these
officers are not equipped for mental health.
They don't have a degree in that.
So I think in a sense of the judicial aspect is more training
for, for them. I mean, we spend like shared

(57:55):
with you guys 4 what was it 4.55point $3 billion of going into
the judicial branch for California.
Where's that money going? Where is that going?
So again, it, it, it every case is different.
And that's, that's the problem is that it's being, I feel like
a lot of the now is being treated as a whole is just, it's

(58:15):
straight across the board the same.
No case is the same. No family situation is the same.
No, the parents are exactly the same.
So you're coming into this blindsided to really say, OK,
let's get the dynamics of the family first.
Let's get the dynamics of how this family has lived or how
these children have lived. What is what's for A-Z?

(58:38):
Instead, you're just going off of hearsay of what he said, she
said. And of course these people are
both going to sit here and talk shit about each other because
they hate each other. They're fighting over their
kids. But there was no problem being
parents before you shared and did everything perfectly fine.
Most generally, you know, I meanmost, not all cases, but again,
it's going on those aspects and factors.
I've talked about this in many other conversations of having

(59:01):
having the education and sometimes it's not always easy.
It's not easy to Co parent with somebody you don't like.
You also have to add in the factor of when you do have
domestic violence situations andnot just women like being
committed with domestic violence.
There is women who do it to men too.
So let's not let's not take thataway like from from male figure

(59:22):
there is it goes both sides. So how do you Co parent?
We talked about this in the podcast last year.
How do you Co parent with somebody like that?
You literally what what if you are dealing with a parent,
mother or father who has been ina domestic violence situation
and they have it has been proven.
How do you how do you Co parent with an abuser?

(59:44):
And these these are the things that we're not discussing.
These are the things that these mediators and we talk about
trying to stay out of the courts, going private.
I, I will literally tell you hindsight 2020 and a lot of this
is generational. I'd like to point that out.
Because if you do a family tree and look at your family cycle of

(01:00:07):
your parents and how you grew upand how your parents grew up and
you look at the other side of the other parent and how their
life has doctored in and the patterns that they have
followed. These are generational things.
This like I come from divorce, my parents, you know, my parents
had separated parents. So again, it it's, it's, it's
educating and coming in and understanding as as a whole that

(01:00:30):
no case is the same. Everybody is different, just
like our lives are are not the same.
So that's where I feel coming in, the advocacy part is
important. To.
Have them do that. So, so for you, you feel like
there's all this money coming into the system and we should be
using that money to educate everybody within the system to

(01:00:52):
make sure that we are making thebest decision with the most
knowledge and information available at the time.
Hey, that, that just sounds liketransparency to me, you know
what I mean? It's like complete transparency.
Everybody's informed, you know where's. 5 Where's $5.3 billion

(01:01:13):
going? That doesn't account for all the
filing fees that parents are paying and, and, and, and the
court documents. And if you're, you got to pay
for literally unless you, unlessyou have a fee waiver on file,
you know what I'm saying? But where is this like really?
And it's going back to follow the money. 5 point.
I found that out the other day. I told you guys I was like $5.3
billion. I was, I had, we had to pay

(01:01:36):
$2500 for transcripts, $2500 fortranscripts.
I mean, I've already paid for that paper.
My tax dollars have already paidfor that paper.
Why do I have to pay an additional $25, Twenty 500?
Dollars and that's and that's just and that's just for trans
That's crazy. That's like that's a small Honda
Civic in some places just for papers with writing on.

(01:01:58):
It well, then you have to pay for court reporters.
I mean, literally everything hasa cost.
It's right there on the court website.
It tells you. So, Adam, what do you think,
man? I I want to hear from you.
Well, I, I want to read, I just want to touch on one thing that
domestic violence in my case, there was a clear cut domestic
violence on her, her end and that was.

(01:02:20):
It's it's her abusing you. Clear cut.
Yes, yes, I had her arrested forfor domestic violence for
punching me in the face anyway. But the minors, counsel and and
opposing counsel and even the judge, swept that completely
under the rug. Of course they did.
Completely swept it under the rug.
So, but they hit me with domestic violence.

(01:02:44):
That's what got me on the domestic violence restraining
order. No physical abuse to her,
nothing like that. That's what got me on a
Technically it's going to be an 8 year restraining order if my
appeal. If my appeal doesn't go through,
it'll be an 8 year restraining order.
Wait, so so you you've never puthands on her?
In fact, she's put hands on you,but you're the one that has a
restraining order. Yeah, eight years, three-year,

(01:03:08):
three-year temporary. three-yeartemporary.
That would only allow me to havetwo FaceTime conversations with
my son a week. No physical violence to him,
never yelled at my son and what got me on the restrainer was the
46 text messages basically stayed.
I told him the last podcast basically saying he's a boy not

(01:03:29):
a girl, don't dress him in girlsclothes.
They took that as domestic violence and that's what got me
on it. You see?
But you see what I'm saying dudeis like you are trying to be
respected as a dad and you want your opinion to be considered in
how your child is being raised and the court system did is said

(01:03:50):
yo Nope that's domestic violence.
That is crazy to me dude. Yeah, yeah, they, they, they
stripped me of all my father's rights day one and my parental
rights day one. Day one, as soon as they saw the
text messages. Don't dress my son in girls
clothes. They that was it.
They stripped me of absolutely everything.

(01:04:12):
But I, I, I, I do believe mediation is good.
Keep the keep the fucking judgesout of this, keep the deputies
out of this, keep everybody out of this.
That's one thing that I always push for is for the four of us
sit down in a room somewhere andfour of us talk about it.
I push that so damn hard to for the both attorneys, me, me and

(01:04:38):
my son's mom to sit in a room and sit there and talk.
Nobody wanted to do that. I said, let's sit here like
adults and talk right And we canhash this out.
I did not want to go to into thefamily court system.
I, I, I didn't. The other thing I really truly
feel is that we, I know family court judges are appointed
correct Courtney by the governor.

(01:05:00):
I would like to see family courts judges be voted on by the
people. Yes, that's what I'm talking
about, dude. I would like, I would like to
see if you want to become a family court judge.
I would, I want to hear what you, what they deal with the
DAS. They had debates, right?
They had District Attorney debates.
They have Congress debates. You want to be a congressman or

(01:05:21):
congresswoman? I want to hear what your point
of views are and where you standon certain subjects.
Will we vote for anything else? But why don't we vote then in?
Right. And they're.
All governor appointed, they're all govern.
All these judges, family court judges are Newsome appointed,
right? They're all being pushed.

(01:05:41):
And I truly believe it's from the AFCC.
These are activist judges. These are not just your run and
a mill mom or dad judges that are in family court.
These are activist judges that have been planted in the family.
In my opinion. I I might be wrong, but I have
been planted in the family courtsystems.
Well, brother, I'll tell you with your story, if anybody

(01:06:04):
listens to it objectively, that perspective makes total sense
because how could you be going through what you're going
through, you know? Wow, Yeah.
You know, we're getting into thesystem of, you know, going to
law school and and and taking the bar and and all these, you

(01:06:28):
know, getting appointed and as an attorney for the state of
California. Like there's process and
procedures. So where are we coming down to
actually dissect the process andprocedures that sees judicial
committee, the judicial committee oversight looks at,
but how, how are we getting to that factor of how they're
actually getting appointed? Is there like a list like the

(01:06:50):
judicial committee has of, of their oath and what they're
supposed to oblige by? Like, I mean, really, what are
we, what are we looking at as a whole of how these people are
getting in the positions that they're getting in and why are
they getting appointed by the governor?
And it and because of that, whatsteps or what factors are the
governor's looking at to appointthem in the first place?

(01:07:12):
How are we getting? Yeah, an injury law judge can't
be can't be a, a, a family courtjudge, a criminal judge or, or,
or yeah, a criminal judge can't be a family court judge.
What what does he know about family court or what does he
know about the family? If you spent 20 years in the in
the in the criminal justice system.

(01:07:34):
You know, and you know, what's interesting is like, I, I think
specifically the family court judges, like you said, Adam, I
like that. I think that they should be
voted in because in, in every other system, right, like like
in, in the criminal system, there is a jury.

(01:07:55):
Those are the people who make the decision.
But for whatever reason in family court, it is these
governor elected judges that aremaking these decisions for
families and really impacting the family unit, really
attacking it and destroying it. Wow, it's also the only court

(01:08:16):
that you going to. You don't get appoint appointed
a court attorney versus criminals.
You can't afford an attorney, the court appoints before you.
Those are two things that I willbe sharing with the committee
because they have specific committees that I learned that
overlook these certain areas. I didn't know that there was a

(01:08:38):
committee that actually handled trying to propose and bringing
the bills for family law. So that's where all this is
going, but it won't happen untilobviously September.
Right. And I think the I think the only
true victims in these family court situations are the kids.
For sure. That the only I mean, I'll just

(01:09:00):
take my my situation at hand. One minute my son's with me and
the next minute my he's not withhis dad.
Like what what is being told to either my son or what are being
told to the kids? Well, 5 minutes yesterday I was
with mom or dad. Now I'm not now I can't see dad
or I can't see mom. Why, why why can't I see my my

(01:09:22):
other parent? You know, and it's, that's the
only victim that that's the onlytrue victim in this case and
grandparents life. If I didn't mention
grandparents, my dad would, my dad would kill me.
But I mean, we, we haven't even talked about grandparents
rights. I mean, these family court
judges, these family courts are ruining grandparents life.

(01:09:43):
I mean, my, my, my parents haven't seen my son as long as I
haven't seen my son. And they haven't even done they
the court, the family court system has criminalized these
two grandparents for doing nothing.
We're we're getting, we're aboutat that time.
Let me get from you guys one final message that you have for

(01:10:05):
people listening that may be going through this and a way
that they can reach out to you or any organizations that you
recommend for them to reach out to for support.
I know we talked about this earlier, but I want to make sure
we close out with it just so people can have that peace
towards the end and we can end on a positive note, right?
Go ahead. Courtney, what do you got?
No, I mean I am available on my mom Army Natomas page just to,

(01:10:30):
you know, point people in the right direction, not no legal
advice, but you know, personal experience and in sharing some
of the coalitions or the advocacy groups.
I'm yeah, I shared Adam. I told you, Danny, I shared that
that coalition with the family advocacy in our message.
So and I'll sit and sit down andkind of maybe get a list

(01:10:54):
together, Danny, and get that over too.
So maybe we can we can share that with people.
ADA advocates are a big thing that I recommend in these
situations for having support. They can't go in and practice
law, but you know, if you're able to find one, they're able
to go in and sit with you in court, you know, and, and be

(01:11:17):
ADA. It's not, it's not too late, not
too late, It's not too late. We'll talk about that.
We'll talk about that. But yeah, that's, that's my
number one of my one things. It's it's, it's you know, it's
researching and finding ADA advocates.
We also with the coalition. So I want to, I'm going to
gather notes, Daniel. I'll share it with you guys and
see if maybe that's something wecan post just on these advocacy

(01:11:40):
groups and the support groups. There is some also that are on
Facebook that actually are ran by attorneys who offer support
and they, they, they won't go tocourt with you, but they will
help you with your, your, your forms.
I mean, it's a, it comes a cost,but obviously it's not a, it's

(01:12:01):
not, it's a crumb compared to what we as parents, the two of
us know. You, you guys know three of us
all together what it costs in paying these attorneys.
So I'll share those. So if we can kind of get that
out for everybody, you know, so that at least they know that the
help is there and you know, you're not alone.

(01:12:22):
Even when you feel like you're alone, you're not.
Awesome. What do you got, Adam?
You got any give the people somelove, man that are going through
what what you're going through. I if you, I think my biggest
thing for for parents, moms or dads that are in the family
court systems, cherish every minute you have with your kid.

(01:12:45):
Cherish every single minute you have with your kid because you
never know. You never know when it might be
the last and spend as much time with your kids as possible.
Give them a hug, you know, because yeah, yeah.
Just just just hold on to your kids type when you do have them,

(01:13:09):
whether it's 5050 all the time, no matter what, just hold on to
those kids type. And spend your time on them.
Yeah, yeah, for. Sure, for sure.
And then thank you. Yeah.
And I'll just put my, my my Father's Day event that I'm
having coming up 1st to the 16thof June.
I'm going to do a two weeks every day at 5:00.

(01:13:32):
I've got I've got you coming on and I'm going to have some, some
pretty cool guests coming on. And then we're just going to
open the file, open the live up to fathers during that week for
Father's Day. So I'll start talking more about
that. But yeah.
Awesome, awesome. Well, thank you.
I appreciate that, Adam. I appreciate you, Courtney.

(01:13:55):
Thank you so much for reaching out and and being interested in
setting this up. And yeah, we'll see you guys
later. Thanks a lot for tuning in.