The Real Reason You're Stuck: Why Confidence Feels So Out of Reach

If you've ever felt like confidence is just out of reach no matter how many self-help books you read or how often you try to "fake it 'til you make it," you're not alone. This episode dives deep into why building real, rooted confidence isn't about just gritting your teeth and forcing yourself through discomfort. Instead, it’s about understanding your body’s natural response to fear and learning how to work with it—not against it.

 

Key Takeaways:

• The Comfort Zone Cycle: We all love our comfort zones, but they’re also what keeps us from growing. When we avoid discomfort, we miss out on building true confidence.
• Why Pushing Through Isn’t the Answer: Sure, you can strong-arm your way through uncomfortable situations, but that often leads to burnout. Real confidence doesn’t come from "winning" over fear; it comes from learning to coexist with discomfort.
• The Role of the Nervous System: You can’t will yourself to feel confident. Instead, calm your nervous system and build from there. I’ll explain why getting out of fight-or-flight (or fawn) mode is the essential first step to lasting change.
• Using Calm to Find Clarity: Calming down gives you the space to see things clearly. It’s like turning on a flashlight in a dark room—suddenly, you see options you didn’t notice before.
• How Your Past Shapes Your Present Reactions: Our brains are wired to protect us, even from perceived threats. We’ll explore how old experiences have created patterns that affect you now.

Practical Tips:

1. Calm First:Before trying to build confidence, focus on calming your nervous system. I’ll share a few techniques for getting out of that reactive state so you can feel more grounded.
2. Break the Domino Effect:When you recognize the triggers from your past, you can stop the automatic reactions they create. This is key to feeling in control and confident in new situations.
3. Learn to Sit with Discomfort:Discomfort is part of the deal. But with a calm body and mind, you can approach uncomfortable feelings without immediately running from them.

 

Episode Quote:

"Confidence isn’t about fighting fear; it’s about finding calm in the face of it."

 

Additional Resources:

Want more tools to help calm your nervous system? Grab my free guide with over 20 exercises that’ll help bring your anxiety from a 10 to a 4. Check the link and get ready to tackle discomfort in a whole new way.

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