Episode 45: The Sociometer in the Social Media Age: Navigating Self-Esteem in a Digital World (Podcast with Psychology and Neuroscience Professor at Duke University, Dr. Mark Leary) [INFLUENCE SERIES]

Why do we care so much about likes, comments, and followers? Is social media quietly hijacking our self-esteem?

In this episode, we explore the psychology behind our craving for digital approval through the lens of Sociometer Theory — the groundbreaking idea by Dr. Mark Leary that our self-esteem functions as an internal gauge of social acceptance.

We begin with a book review of 📘 You Are What You Click (2021) by Dr. Brian A. Primack, examining how our online habits shape identity and emotional health. Then, Dr. Leary joins the conversation to discuss how his theory has evolved in the era of constant connectivity — where Instagram, TikTok, and other platforms keep our “sociometer” always on.

Our guest, Sophia, a former student, adds a fresh generational perspective on navigating social validation, online comparison, and emotional balance in the digital world.

🎙️ In this episode, we unpack:

✅ How social media amplifies our sensitivity to social acceptance and rejection ✅ Why self-esteem fluctuates with online feedback — likes, views, and comments ✅ The hidden ways algorithms exploit our need for belonging ✅ What happens when our sociometer never turns off ✅ Practical strategies to build digital resilience and stay grounded amid online validation

Tune in for a fascinating conversation that blends science, story, and self-awareness — exploring how our digital lives shape who we believe we are, and what it means to belong in the age of endless connection.

🎧 Listen now on The Professor P Podcast — where psychology meets the pulse of modern life.

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Act of Kindness: When you are interacting with others, be a good listener; Being act of kindness toward yourself, continued self-care

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Dr. Mark Leary is a distinguished social psychologist known for his groundbreaking work on self-esteem, social belonging, and interpersonal motivation. He is the originator of Sociometer Theory, which proposes that self-esteem functions as an internal gauge of social acceptance and rejection. His research has profoundly influenced our understanding of how human emotions and behaviors are shaped by the need for social connection.

Dr. Leary is a Professor Emeritus of Psychology and Neuroscience at Duke University, where he previously served as the founding director of the Interdisciplinary Behavioral Research Center. Over his career, he has authored or co-authored more than 200 scholarly articles and several influential books, including The Curse of the Self: Self-Awareness, Egotism, and the Quality of Human Life and Social Psychology and Dysfunctional Behavior.

His expertise extends beyond academia, as his insights have been widely applied in clinical psychology, leadership, and social media research. Dr. Leary’s work is particularly relevant in today’s digital age, where social validation and rejection are magnified through platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter.

Through his research, public speaking, and writing, Dr. Leary continues to explore the intricate relationship between self-perception, social interaction, and emotional well-being, making him a leading voice in the psychology of human connection.