October 27, 2022 • 18 mins
Janine has lived her entire life never knowing the identity or heritage of her birth father. Her white British mum always kept her true parentage a secret. Professor Turi King catches up on what happened after Janine appeared on the first series of DNA Family Secrets.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Today I'm talking to the lovely Janine, who was one of our contributors on the first series of
DNA Family Secrets. Okay so let's start way back in the beginning because people may not
have seen the television programme. What was your question that you came to DNA Family Secrets with?
So, I really wanted to explore where I came from, my ancestry.
(00:24):
And why was that?Because I've always stood out as
not being fully English and wanted to explore the fact that I've got really dark skin, dark hair,
and I think one of my famous lines that everybody kind of laughs about is that I looked like Mowgli
when I was born. So, I wanted to pursue that and really dig deep into where I came from.
So, what did you know?I had an idea that the father
(00:46):
that I had was not my biological father, and it was quite apparent he was fair hair, fair skin,
and my mum did tell me from a young age that he wasn't my biological father. She didn't
actually give me any more information than that, other than it was very apparent that I
didn't share a complete English ancestry.So, you grew up knowing who your mum was
but basically not who your biological father was?I knew nothing about him at all, my mum led me to
(01:11):
believe that my father was here in Leicester, but she never told me any more information than that.
So that must have been pretty frustrating because she passed away, I think by the time you
came to us, so you couldn't really talk to her.No, it was a taboo subject, I think. She would
let little secrets out when it suited, but nothing that ever really put the jigsaw puzzle together,
and there was kind of an element of loyalty that you didn't want to challenge those thoughts or
(01:36):
questions and she would retaliate in a way that wasn't very pleasant,
so it kind of just leave well alone.I think in my late, sort of 13 to 16, I
think I was really interested but couldn't pursue it and it just caused arguments every time I asked
any questions. So, I left it and then she passed away when I was 19 and after that I thought,
(01:56):
you know, there's nowhere I can go, there's nothing I can do, family members were not
forthcoming, still aren't now, so if I ask, they still are very closed book about it. So,
my only option was try and find an expert that could help me with this, and you guys did.
You had this wonderful father who brought you up, so he'd been basically your dad essentially.
(02:19):
My dad and I we've got a funny relationship, and I think if anything I just have the utmost respect
for a man that can take you on as your own, and care for you for as long as he has done for me,
and just being that role model for my children and myself, and he will just say just leave it
alone now, whereas I’m like no, I feel like it's my lifetime's mission to actually find out. I've
(02:44):
said it all along, I just want my children to know where they came from and although they
know now that 25%, they're Indian, I still would like for them to know who their ancestors are,
not just where they came from, I'd like them to know who's involved in this family.
So was your dad behind you when you came to DNA family secrets, was it something
you discussed with him before you came or?It was a difficult conversation to broach with
(03:09):
him at first, he was super supportive when I told him the reasons why, and he had always said he
would never want to keep anything from me and that if he knew he would tell me. And I do genuinely
believe that now having gone through the process. But I think since he's just been very much let
sleeping dogs lie, it’s just going to eat away at you. But actually, it doesn't eat away at me,
(03:30):
I'm curious, but I think you're never going to take that away from a person, to be curious. So,
for me I'm like a dog with a bone, just like, keep going something might come up.
When people talk to me it's like there's a very big hole in their lives and it's
about their identity I think, isn't it?Absolutely there's a huge void in my own person,
(03:51):
myself, and sometimes I question things in my life, and I think, well if I knew this then
that would make a difference, or if I knew that that would make a difference. Sometimes there are
things that don't make sense to me, and I think well where did that come from within me, you know.
I've often spoke about nature versus nurture, it's something that I explore in my daily life,
(04:11):
with my work, but I just seem to be very different to my two siblings that I do have,
and I think that didn't come from the part of the DNA within me that was my mum, you know.
So obviously there's a lot of support behind the scenes for the programme. And we do it in two parts,
so obviously somebody comes, they say well this is what I'd like to know. And
(04:32):
then there's a long gap in between until you get to know what your results are, so
what was that period like for you really, was it nerve-wracking coming in or is it okay, are you?
Well, I was really nervous, it was nerve-wracking. For me, I felt that there were two elements to
this. I was either going to find out there's nothing, or that's as far as we can go,
or there's going to be somebody or something else. And I suppose I watched the first series and I
(04:59):
felt really sad for people who've been rejected from family members. And I do wonder if it was a
bit of a godsend that the result was the way it was for me because I don't know if I could have
dealt with that kind of rejection. Not that I was ultimately looking for a person, but when
you see that, I did think afterwards, I'm kind of glad that I didn't have to go through that.
(05:21):
And that is one of the things about DNA Family Secrets is that we, when we choose people,
we follow them all the way through, and sometimes that can have happy endings,
and sometimes it's bittersweet endings, and we never know how it's going to go. I mean I know
what we were able to say to you at the time was about how your biological father must be from
the Punjab region. We know from the history of the area, so we've got the partition happens in 1947,
(05:47):
at that period in time you've also got this labour shortage going on in Britain, so lots of
people come over as part of that. Leicester’s, you know, one of the biggest cities for people having
come here, and the matches that we were getting were coming back as sort of Sikh surnames. So,
we thought okay, so is her biological father Sikh and some of them would look like they might be
(06:08):
Jat Sikh, so there was this sort of thing, and obviously 5% of the population I think,
in Leicester is Sikh, so all of this kind of fit together. So, we were able to give you that, so
how did that feel at the time, because I'm always aware when I give people the results, it's so much
all at once and you must be processing like mad?I called my neighbour, we're like sisters,
(06:30):
and she’s Sikh. So straight afterwards, on my way home I called her, she was the first person
I called actually. I was like, oh my goodness, I need to speak to my mum and dad, and then I was
learning all the history behind people who were displaced here in Leicester here at the time,
and Nottingham, and all around the East Midlands. That was interesting because I never understood
it, although my son could tell me, as you know he was a little history expert, but yeah…
(06:55):
I mean it very much is a Leicester story, I mean, because we have such a mixed population,
so going through that and finding that, I mean, it completely fits in with the history of Leicester,
but obviously we couldn't take you that little bit further with that.
No, I think what I did learn was a lesson in generations. So, for me, as I understand it,
(07:19):
that there's certain families and generations that just want to keep things closed,
and we don't want to talk about things, we don't need to talk about things, and we just carry on,
and we are entering into a whole new generation of people. There's different cultural beliefs,
different races, different religions, all marrying each other now. Whereas before it was frowned
upon, you don't do that. So, the further on we go the more open people will be to the real world
(07:46):
because the real world is what it is, you know.One of the things we did try, because you know,
certain populations are more likely to take these tests than others. We know that it's massively
popular in the United States, and Canada, and Western Europe, Australia, New Zealand, these kind
of places, less so in other parts of the world, so what we did try to do was we tried to go to the
local Punjab community and have people test, and we couldn't find anybody there. But you're right,
(08:12):
I think there's not just a cultural thing, but I think there's a generational thing,
because from my father's generation, you know, you wouldn't talk about certain things,
and in some ways it's not healthy because, you know, you want to be able to have these open
discussions. I think we're caught between, sort of, a couple of generations here,
the one above us, and our kid’s generations who chat about pretty much everything it seems.
(08:34):
Yeah I'm glad that I can have my DNA story available for my children, so that if anyone
was to question anything in their lifetime, they can go back as far as myself and their father,
and I mean there's a lot on my husband's side of the family that we've researched,
but it gets to a point in my family where it just stops. And I know at least going forward
(08:55):
to when my children have children, and they have children, I will be that story up to a
certain point for them, which I think is really nice. I didn't want it to just end for them.
For me it's a new generation of DNA. I may not know past myself but, in a hundred or so years,
my children will know, and their children will know, and so on and so on, which is quite nice.
(09:18):
So, the programme aired on March the 9th 2021, how was that for you, did you have any inkling,
or were you really open, had no idea kind of?I think I knew there was definitely Indian within
me, you know, I definitely knew that, but wasn't 100% sure. Everywhere I've travelled people,
oh you're Spanish, you're Turkish, or this, you're that, I don't know what I am, you know,
(09:40):
and I think that was key, I didn't know what I am. I'm confident now to say to people,
yeah actually you know, I’m 50% Indian.We were out with friends recently and she
was like, oh you're so dark in comparison to me, yet she is 100% Indian, and my daughter's
really dark, whereas my son's really fair.And that's all about how pigmentation genes are
inherited. You're going to be a mixture of ones that you've inherited from both of your parents,
(10:03):
and there's huge numbers of genes involved, and they all have different incremental effects,
and that's why you get a different mixture amongst your kids, and different pigmentation within
families. And it's also why it's very difficult to look at somebody's pigmentation and say,
oh you're from the this part of the world, because you're going to get similar pigmentation
in various parts of the world, and a huge variation of pigmentation across countries.
(10:27):
It's one of those things when people come and they want to know about their ancestry,
it's very hard looking at them to go, okay it's likely to be this. And I can imagine
that must be a massive thing, when you're growing up and you know that half of your
ancestry comes from somewhere, but you don't know even where in the world that is likely to be.
And I think the other side to that is, I thought DNA would just straight away link you to mass
(10:51):
amounts of people. And although it can do that, I've now realised that, well your DNA just could
be because you're from the same region. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're related.
Yeah.So, I used to get
really excited when I was looking at Ancestry and thinking, oh there's another relative,
but actually it may not even be a relative, it's just because that's where you're from.
And it's really about how much DNA you're sharing. If you're from the same population,
(11:15):
of course you're going to share a certain level of DNA, just because you all come from the same
sort of background essentially, same sort of ancestry. It's when you start to get those closer
matches that you start to go, okay so these look like they might be third cousin, second cousin,
first cousins, this kind of thing, you haven't had anyone pop up on Ancestry that close have you?
No, my sister obviously we share 1000 something centimorgans, she’s, my half-sister.
(11:40):
Yes, and that's your mum's side?And that's on my mum's side. On my
biological father's side, I think, the closest is like a third or fourth cousin. And equally you can
see your common ancestors. So, on my mum's side there's lots, but there's nothing on my biological
father’s side.Yeah.
And sometimes it's quite sad when you look at the actual tree and I can't take it anywhere.
(12:02):
So, I know when you first came your main thing was, I'm not quite sure what my ancestry is,
but you would actually like to try and find out who your father is?
I would but not for necessarily a relationship to replace somebody, and one thing I made quite
clear, and I'm still very clear about is, I'm not here to intrude in anyone's life,
(12:22):
you know, I understand and respect that people have got their own lives. And I wouldn't
want somebody coming into my world saying, I'm your dad, or I'm this, it'd have to be for me,
even if it was just a name on paper to explore that tree further, I would be happy with that. I'm
not in it to replace the dad that I've got, I'm just in it to explore my tree and keep it going.
(12:47):
And I suppose just understand that ancestry to some extent.
And I'm not completely closed off to meeting somebody, but I think what scares people is
that by providing their DNA, it could possibly open up a whole can of worms,
that could potentially destroy the life they've got, or add value to it, and I
(13:07):
suppose if you're not sure about that, that's probably why you won't put your DNA out there.
When the programmes go out I get inundated by emails, as you can imagine, but a huge
proportion of them were coming back saying I'm like Janine, and I don't know what my ancestry is,
and it clearly meant a lot to people to see you go through this process, and something in your story
(13:34):
touched their lives, enough for them to email me to say about it. So, I always think don't
underestimate just, kind of, how courageous you were and what you've done in terms of going on the
programme, in terms of opening that door not only for yourself, but you're actually opening doors
for people who are watching the programme as well.I think there were two sides to the time in
(13:57):
which I was born. I think back in the 70s it wasn't the done thing for a white female to
be with anyone of any other colour. And the more programmes I'm watching about racism,
well way back to even now, I can understand why my mum, my grandmother were just very closed
(14:18):
doors about it. But equally the other side to it was there were a lot of married Indian men,
back in the days, that were placed here and working, and their wives were still overseas,
and they were just enjoying life, you know.And there were things that perhaps their wives
didn't go out drinking, didn't go out clubbing. My mum was typically one of those people that was
(14:42):
doing those things as a teenager. And I do forget that she was only a teenager when she had me,
so I have to kind of cut her a bit of slack for that. Yeah, it must have been hard for her.
So, having been through this rather emotional process was it worth it?
Yes and no. Yes, because I've got answers for my own children that they deserve, and more so
(15:07):
because they don't have any involvement with my mum's side of the family. So, what I didn't
want them to be doing was going exploring that, thinking they were missing out on this family
that they never knew. So, I wanted to be really honest with them that, you know, this is mum's,
mum's side of the family, but this is all I can tell you about my dad's side of the family. Just
(15:28):
have that honest dialogue because I've lived all those years not having that honest dialogue,
and I think it's really important for the next generation of people coming
through that they know where they came from.To be fair they didn't think anything different,
you know, they really didn't, they just thought Bill and Jen were Nan and Grandad. But I never
wanted to keep any secrets from my own children, so I thought it was important that they knew.
(15:51):
So that was the good side what was the difficult side of it?
I don't have closure still. On the day when the results came through, I felt like there
was a lot of forgiveness for my mum, and I think I shared that within the programme,
in that I can understand why she didn't tell me things. But even more so it's quite frustrating
(16:12):
now that I'm like, I still don't have closure, I don't have closure, am I ever going to get
it in my lifetime, I don't know, but I will do what I can to keep exploring it.
Yes, that is one of the things, in that we could take you so far, but not that other side. So,
you still have questions essentially?Yeah, and I think the questions are very
much as I said, linking it all to the history, not the person. And whilst I should be satisfied with
(16:38):
the information that I've got, I'm a very curious person, so if I can keep looking,
keep exploring, then I'm going to do that.So, you're still looking, so in an ideal world,
you go home after this and you log in to one of the databases, what do you see?
I log in frequently, it's like a little hobby of mine, and I always look for the inbox message.
(17:05):
There's more and more people being added to the databases, so I think oh there'll be somebody
closer than a fifth to eighth cousin, and then I find it quite interesting to explore further. So I
think in an ideal world there might be a message that pings through one day just to kind of say,
hey this is me I wanted to reach out, and that's enough for me to then take it to a level where,
(17:30):
you know, I'm not in my 20s, I'm not in my 30s, I'm in my 40s, I'm established with a family,
I don't need to add anything to my family but it would be nice just to go,
yes okay now I know. So that's the ideal world for me. And I think ultimately, I want closure,
I just want a bit of closure. Somebody to actually just be honest and say, here I am, and that's it.
(17:54):
Janine it was so lovely to see you again and to go through this story. I think it was one that
really seemed to touch a lot of people, so thank you so much for allowing me to catch up with you.
Today I'm talking to the lovely Janine, who was one of our contributors on the first series of
DNA Family Secrets. Okay so let's start way back in the beginning because people may not
have seen the television programme. What was your question that you came to DNA Family Secrets with?
So, I really wanted to explore where I came from, my ancestry.
(00:24):
And why was that?Because I've always stood out as
not being fully English and wanted to explore the fact that I've got really dark skin, dark hair,
and I think one of my famous lines that everybody kind of laughs about is that I looked like Mowgli
when I was born. So, I wanted to pursue that and really dig deep into where I came from.
So, what did you know?I had an idea that the father
(00:46):
that I had was not my biological father, and it was quite apparent he was fair hair, fair skin,
and my mum did tell me from a young age that he wasn't my biological father. She didn't
actually give me any more information than that, other than it was very apparent that I
didn't share a complete English ancestry.So, you grew up knowing who your mum was
but basically not who your biological father was?I knew nothing about him at all, my mum led me to
(01:11):
believe that my father was here in Leicester, but she never told me any more information than that.
So that must have been pretty frustrating because she passed away, I think by the time you
came to us, so you couldn't really talk to her.No, it was a taboo subject, I think. She would
let little secrets out when it suited, but nothing that ever really put the jigsaw puzzle together,
and there was kind of an element of loyalty that you didn't want to challenge those thoughts or
(01:36):
questions and she would retaliate in a way that wasn't very pleasant,
so it kind of just leave well alone.I think in my late, sort of 13 to 16, I
think I was really interested but couldn't pursue it and it just caused arguments every time I asked
any questions. So, I left it and then she passed away when I was 19 and after that I thought,
(01:56):
you know, there's nowhere I can go, there's nothing I can do, family members were not
forthcoming, still aren't now, so if I ask, they still are very closed book about it. So,
my only option was try and find an expert that could help me with this, and you guys did.
You had this wonderful father who brought you up, so he'd been basically your dad essentially.
(02:19):
My dad and I we've got a funny relationship, and I think if anything I just have the utmost respect
for a man that can take you on as your own, and care for you for as long as he has done for me,
and just being that role model for my children and myself, and he will just say just leave it
alone now, whereas I’m like no, I feel like it's my lifetime's mission to actually find out. I've
(02:44):
said it all along, I just want my children to know where they came from and although they
know now that 25%, they're Indian, I still would like for them to know who their ancestors are,
not just where they came from, I'd like them to know who's involved in this family.
So was your dad behind you when you came to DNA family secrets, was it something
you discussed with him before you came or?It was a difficult conversation to broach with
(03:09):
him at first, he was super supportive when I told him the reasons why, and he had always said he
would never want to keep anything from me and that if he knew he would tell me. And I do genuinely
believe that now having gone through the process. But I think since he's just been very much let
sleeping dogs lie, it’s just going to eat away at you. But actually, it doesn't eat away at me,
(03:30):
I'm curious, but I think you're never going to take that away from a person, to be curious. So,
for me I'm like a dog with a bone, just like, keep going something might come up.
When people talk to me it's like there's a very big hole in their lives and it's
about their identity I think, isn't it?Absolutely there's a huge void in my own person,
(03:51):
myself, and sometimes I question things in my life, and I think, well if I knew this then
that would make a difference, or if I knew that that would make a difference. Sometimes there are
things that don't make sense to me, and I think well where did that come from within me, you know.
I've often spoke about nature versus nurture, it's something that I explore in my daily life,
(04:11):
with my work, but I just seem to be very different to my two siblings that I do have,
and I think that didn't come from the part of the DNA within me that was my mum, you know.
So obviously there's a lot of support behind the scenes for the programme. And we do it in two parts,
so obviously somebody comes, they say well this is what I'd like to know. And
(04:32):
then there's a long gap in between until you get to know what your results are, so
what was that period like for you really, was it nerve-wracking coming in or is it okay, are you?
Well, I was really nervous, it was nerve-wracking. For me, I felt that there were two elements to
this. I was either going to find out there's nothing, or that's as far as we can go,
or there's going to be somebody or something else. And I suppose I watched the first series and I
(04:59):
felt really sad for people who've been rejected from family members. And I do wonder if it was a
bit of a godsend that the result was the way it was for me because I don't know if I could have
dealt with that kind of rejection. Not that I was ultimately looking for a person, but when
you see that, I did think afterwards, I'm kind of glad that I didn't have to go through that.
(05:21):
And that is one of the things about DNA Family Secrets is that we, when we choose people,
we follow them all the way through, and sometimes that can have happy endings,
and sometimes it's bittersweet endings, and we never know how it's going to go. I mean I know
what we were able to say to you at the time was about how your biological father must be from
the Punjab region. We know from the history of the area, so we've got the partition happens in 1947,
(05:47):
at that period in time you've also got this labour shortage going on in Britain, so lots of
people come over as part of that. Leicester’s, you know, one of the biggest cities for people having
come here, and the matches that we were getting were coming back as sort of Sikh surnames. So,
we thought okay, so is her biological father Sikh and some of them would look like they might be
(06:08):
Jat Sikh, so there was this sort of thing, and obviously 5% of the population I think,
in Leicester is Sikh, so all of this kind of fit together. So, we were able to give you that, so
how did that feel at the time, because I'm always aware when I give people the results, it's so much
all at once and you must be processing like mad?I called my neighbour, we're like sisters,
(06:30):
and she’s Sikh. So straight afterwards, on my way home I called her, she was the first person
I called actually. I was like, oh my goodness, I need to speak to my mum and dad, and then I was
learning all the history behind people who were displaced here in Leicester here at the time,
and Nottingham, and all around the East Midlands. That was interesting because I never understood
it, although my son could tell me, as you know he was a little history expert, but yeah…
(06:55):
I mean it very much is a Leicester story, I mean, because we have such a mixed population,
so going through that and finding that, I mean, it completely fits in with the history of Leicester,
but obviously we couldn't take you that little bit further with that.
No, I think what I did learn was a lesson in generations. So, for me, as I understand it,
(07:19):
that there's certain families and generations that just want to keep things closed,
and we don't want to talk about things, we don't need to talk about things, and we just carry on,
and we are entering into a whole new generation of people. There's different cultural beliefs,
different races, different religions, all marrying each other now. Whereas before it was frowned
upon, you don't do that. So, the further on we go the more open people will be to the real world
(07:46):
because the real world is what it is, you know.One of the things we did try, because you know,
certain populations are more likely to take these tests than others. We know that it's massively
popular in the United States, and Canada, and Western Europe, Australia, New Zealand, these kind
of places, less so in other parts of the world, so what we did try to do was we tried to go to the
local Punjab community and have people test, and we couldn't find anybody there. But you're right,
(08:12):
I think there's not just a cultural thing, but I think there's a generational thing,
because from my father's generation, you know, you wouldn't talk about certain things,
and in some ways it's not healthy because, you know, you want to be able to have these open
discussions. I think we're caught between, sort of, a couple of generations here,
the one above us, and our kid’s generations who chat about pretty much everything it seems.
(08:34):
Yeah I'm glad that I can have my DNA story available for my children, so that if anyone
was to question anything in their lifetime, they can go back as far as myself and their father,
and I mean there's a lot on my husband's side of the family that we've researched,
but it gets to a point in my family where it just stops. And I know at least going forward
(08:55):
to when my children have children, and they have children, I will be that story up to a
certain point for them, which I think is really nice. I didn't want it to just end for them.
For me it's a new generation of DNA. I may not know past myself but, in a hundred or so years,
my children will know, and their children will know, and so on and so on, which is quite nice.
(09:18):
So, the programme aired on March the 9th 2021, how was that for you, did you have any inkling,
or were you really open, had no idea kind of?I think I knew there was definitely Indian within
me, you know, I definitely knew that, but wasn't 100% sure. Everywhere I've travelled people,
oh you're Spanish, you're Turkish, or this, you're that, I don't know what I am, you know,
(09:40):
and I think that was key, I didn't know what I am. I'm confident now to say to people,
yeah actually you know, I’m 50% Indian.We were out with friends recently and she
was like, oh you're so dark in comparison to me, yet she is 100% Indian, and my daughter's
really dark, whereas my son's really fair.And that's all about how pigmentation genes are
inherited. You're going to be a mixture of ones that you've inherited from both of your parents,
(10:03):
and there's huge numbers of genes involved, and they all have different incremental effects,
and that's why you get a different mixture amongst your kids, and different pigmentation within
families. And it's also why it's very difficult to look at somebody's pigmentation and say,
oh you're from the this part of the world, because you're going to get similar pigmentation
in various parts of the world, and a huge variation of pigmentation across countries.
(10:27):
It's one of those things when people come and they want to know about their ancestry,
it's very hard looking at them to go, okay it's likely to be this. And I can imagine
that must be a massive thing, when you're growing up and you know that half of your
ancestry comes from somewhere, but you don't know even where in the world that is likely to be.
And I think the other side to that is, I thought DNA would just straight away link you to mass
(10:51):
amounts of people. And although it can do that, I've now realised that, well your DNA just could
be because you're from the same region. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're related.
Yeah.So, I used to get
really excited when I was looking at Ancestry and thinking, oh there's another relative,
but actually it may not even be a relative, it's just because that's where you're from.
And it's really about how much DNA you're sharing. If you're from the same population,
(11:15):
of course you're going to share a certain level of DNA, just because you all come from the same
sort of background essentially, same sort of ancestry. It's when you start to get those closer
matches that you start to go, okay so these look like they might be third cousin, second cousin,
first cousins, this kind of thing, you haven't had anyone pop up on Ancestry that close have you?
No, my sister obviously we share 1000 something centimorgans, she’s, my half-sister.
(11:40):
Yes, and that's your mum's side?And that's on my mum's side. On my
biological father's side, I think, the closest is like a third or fourth cousin. And equally you can
see your common ancestors. So, on my mum's side there's lots, but there's nothing on my biological
father’s side.Yeah.
And sometimes it's quite sad when you look at the actual tree and I can't take it anywhere.
(12:02):
So, I know when you first came your main thing was, I'm not quite sure what my ancestry is,
but you would actually like to try and find out who your father is?
I would but not for necessarily a relationship to replace somebody, and one thing I made quite
clear, and I'm still very clear about is, I'm not here to intrude in anyone's life,
(12:22):
you know, I understand and respect that people have got their own lives. And I wouldn't
want somebody coming into my world saying, I'm your dad, or I'm this, it'd have to be for me,
even if it was just a name on paper to explore that tree further, I would be happy with that. I'm
not in it to replace the dad that I've got, I'm just in it to explore my tree and keep it going.
(12:47):
And I suppose just understand that ancestry to some extent.
And I'm not completely closed off to meeting somebody, but I think what scares people is
that by providing their DNA, it could possibly open up a whole can of worms,
that could potentially destroy the life they've got, or add value to it, and I
(13:07):
suppose if you're not sure about that, that's probably why you won't put your DNA out there.
When the programmes go out I get inundated by emails, as you can imagine, but a huge
proportion of them were coming back saying I'm like Janine, and I don't know what my ancestry is,
and it clearly meant a lot to people to see you go through this process, and something in your story
(13:34):
touched their lives, enough for them to email me to say about it. So, I always think don't
underestimate just, kind of, how courageous you were and what you've done in terms of going on the
programme, in terms of opening that door not only for yourself, but you're actually opening doors
for people who are watching the programme as well.I think there were two sides to the time in
(13:57):
which I was born. I think back in the 70s it wasn't the done thing for a white female to
be with anyone of any other colour. And the more programmes I'm watching about racism,
well way back to even now, I can understand why my mum, my grandmother were just very closed
(14:18):
doors about it. But equally the other side to it was there were a lot of married Indian men,
back in the days, that were placed here and working, and their wives were still overseas,
and they were just enjoying life, you know.And there were things that perhaps their wives
didn't go out drinking, didn't go out clubbing. My mum was typically one of those people that was
(14:42):
doing those things as a teenager. And I do forget that she was only a teenager when she had me,
so I have to kind of cut her a bit of slack for that. Yeah, it must have been hard for her.
So, having been through this rather emotional process was it worth it?
Yes and no. Yes, because I've got answers for my own children that they deserve, and more so
(15:07):
because they don't have any involvement with my mum's side of the family. So, what I didn't
want them to be doing was going exploring that, thinking they were missing out on this family
that they never knew. So, I wanted to be really honest with them that, you know, this is mum's,
mum's side of the family, but this is all I can tell you about my dad's side of the family. Just
(15:28):
have that honest dialogue because I've lived all those years not having that honest dialogue,
and I think it's really important for the next generation of people coming
through that they know where they came from.To be fair they didn't think anything different,
you know, they really didn't, they just thought Bill and Jen were Nan and Grandad. But I never
wanted to keep any secrets from my own children, so I thought it was important that they knew.
(15:51):
So that was the good side what was the difficult side of it?
I don't have closure still. On the day when the results came through, I felt like there
was a lot of forgiveness for my mum, and I think I shared that within the programme,
in that I can understand why she didn't tell me things. But even more so it's quite frustrating
(16:12):
now that I'm like, I still don't have closure, I don't have closure, am I ever going to get
it in my lifetime, I don't know, but I will do what I can to keep exploring it.
Yes, that is one of the things, in that we could take you so far, but not that other side. So,
you still have questions essentially?Yeah, and I think the questions are very
much as I said, linking it all to the history, not the person. And whilst I should be satisfied with
(16:38):
the information that I've got, I'm a very curious person, so if I can keep looking,
keep exploring, then I'm going to do that.So, you're still looking, so in an ideal world,
you go home after this and you log in to one of the databases, what do you see?
I log in frequently, it's like a little hobby of mine, and I always look for the inbox message.
(17:05):
There's more and more people being added to the databases, so I think oh there'll be somebody
closer than a fifth to eighth cousin, and then I find it quite interesting to explore further. So I
think in an ideal world there might be a message that pings through one day just to kind of say,
hey this is me I wanted to reach out, and that's enough for me to then take it to a level where,
(17:30):
you know, I'm not in my 20s, I'm not in my 30s, I'm in my 40s, I'm established with a family,
I don't need to add anything to my family but it would be nice just to go,
yes okay now I know. So that's the ideal world for me. And I think ultimately, I want closure,
I just want a bit of closure. Somebody to actually just be honest and say, here I am, and that's it.
(17:54):
Janine it was so lovely to see you again and to go through this story. I think it was one that
really seemed to touch a lot of people, so thank you so much for allowing me to catch up with you.
Popular Podcasts
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com