Sheila Kohler: Can love languages change over time? | Reloscope #81

In this episode of Reloscope, host Sarah Stancombe is joined by expert Sheila Kohler to discuss love languages and how cultures and time change how people view their relationship and experience love. 

Sheila Kohler is the author of eleven novels, three collections of short stories and a memoir. Her work has been translated widely abroad and has been awarded many prizes including the O. Henry twice. She has taught creative writing at Princeton since 2007. She was a fellow at the Lewis B. Cullman Center for Scholars and Writers and a frequent visiting writer at the American Academy of Rome. She is writer in residence at the American Library in 2025. Her novel, “Cracks” has been filmed with Jordan Scott and Ridley Scott as directors and was recently reissued by Open Road. Open Road will republish six of her early novels in 2025.

In this episode, Sheila Kohler tells some fascinating stories of her life experiences that illustrate how other people live and love together. Cultures are a big part in how people express love to their friends and family - what is acceptable may different vastly from culture to culture. Sheila Kohler also explains the two different types of love - one where you project what you romantically desire onto someone you barely know, and the other - getting to know someone deeply in a relationship, seeing their perspective on life, and having empathy for them.

Together, Sarah and Sheila Kohler discover how people can better communicate during quarrels. Remember that many quarrels occur over trivial things. Do your best to communicate why you are experiencing a strong reaction to something, and put yourself in the other person's shoes. Sheila Kohler suggests roleplaying the quarrel as the other person, together. It will probably make you laugh, and provide an understanding of where the other person is coming from. 

Visit Sheila Kohler’s work via the following links: Website: https://sheilakohler.com/about/ Sheila Kohler’s publications, which can be purchased on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com.au/stores/Sheila-Kohler/author/B001JP7UOO?ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true  Psychology today article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dreaming-for-freud/201503/how-to-learn-the-language-of-love Connect with Sheila Kohler via LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sheila-kohler-3b2b241a/ 

Books mentioned in the episode, available on Amazon:  La Vita Nuova by Dante: https://amzn.asia/d/015sUeH   Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez:https://amzn.asia/d/azby8Tu   This Strange Eventful History by Claire Messud: https://amzn.asia/d/gnldYHq   The Pole by by J M Coetzee: https://amzn.asia/d/gghNtyE Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez: https://www.amazon.com.au/Love-Cholera-Gabriel-Garcia-Marquez/dp/0241978920 

Produced by the Relationship Science Labs, a division of LMSL, the Life Management Science Labs. 

Explore LMSL at https://lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/ and visit http://re.lmsl.net/ for additional information about Relationship Science Labs.

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