November 14, 2024 • 31 mins
In this episode of Salve Maria, the Heralds of the Gospel podcast, we explore effective ways to manage anger using principles rooted in Catholic faith. Learn how to transform negative emotions into opportunities for spiritual growth, understand the true causes and consequences of anger, and gain practical tips for fostering peace and self-control. 📌 FULL Video: https://youtu.be/uF9j4sYOdYE
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Salve Maria, welcome to this episode. Todaywe are talking about anger. And we're talking
about the causes of anger, the consequencesof anger, and also something very constructive,
how to control your anger. Stay until the end,because we are going to go into three major
consequences of anger, which is harmful words,desire for revenge, destructive behaviour. And
(00:23):
then of course, we have five tips to fight backanger and... get out of it in a virtuous manner.
Welcome to Salve Maria, the podcast of the Heraldsof the Gospel.
So, Salve Maria, Fr. Arthur. Salve Maria. SalveMaria, Br. Justin. Salve Maria. And so, Father,
(00:48):
what is anger? Because sometimes we tend toidentify it with something that, of course,
is an outrage, but why is it so difficult whenit comes to the spiritual life? Of course,
first of all, it's an emotion. It's a reactionof your person, your emotion, your feelings
(01:10):
to something. And if it is something bad, youcan get anger rightly. That's the good anger.
But if it is something good, but it doesn'tmake you happy, then you have a selfish indignation.
You have a selfish reaction. You stepped onmy foot. Exactly, you're reacting because of
(01:31):
you and not because of justice. There is nohigher meaning. Exactly. So that's the anger
that we're going to talk about, the bad anger.The one that we have to spiritualize, right?
Because... We all are victims of something wrong.Life has frustrations and also has, you know,
things that are not right. And it's obviousthat we have to react. No, I mean, otherwise
(01:54):
we. This has been a problem since the very beginning.All of the classic writers talk about it. Right.
So it's really important that we understandthat and make it very concrete because Plato,
Aristotle, Aquinas all treat on the subjectextensively. So it's important that we practicalize
it, make sure we're very much pointed on theissue, why it's so important. Of course, our
(02:20):
Lord talks about it too, but it's deeply human.It's the human experience. Maybe the first
sin after original sin was the one of Cain.He got angry against his brother. So it was
very serious. God comes and asks him, why areyou angry? Why? Of course, God knew why, but
(02:43):
he wanted Cain to reflect on this. What's keyis what St. Thomas Aquinas said about it is
that it's not regulated by reason, right? Exactly.This is, I think you're going to get into later
on with rages of sorts, which is that there'sno reason involved. It's not controlled. It
can be good, but in our day to day, most timesit's wrong. It's selfish. It's wrong. It's
(03:07):
filled. It's fueled by. jealousies and enviesand other things. Now, the statistics on anger
are appalling because we go and many times wetend to think that this is not, we are not
part of it sometimes, right? And for us to realizethat eventually there is a problem with anger,
(03:28):
we need also to make a good examination of conscience,make, we need to examine, right? what we do
in everyday life. And we need to realize thatthe world is much more filled with anger than
what we imagine. I think we can put it, theworld is angry. For instance, 22% of workers,
(03:49):
and this is the American Psychological Association,reports that 22% of workers in the American
workforce suffer of anger towards colleaguesat work with some... indicating that stress
and workplace conditions are key facts. That'sone aspect. Can I go just go one point? It's
(04:14):
really important. It's something that St. Thomasmentioned as well, St. Rome, is that the key
element to remedy anger is virtue. And one thingin our world that we have very little of is
virtue. So when there's very little virtue,we're going to have a lot of anger. We're going
to have a lot of everything, but it's importantto keep that point in mind. It isn't mindfulness
(04:36):
sitting in corners and meditating on green walls.No, it's virtue. It's the love of God. That's
going to solve your problem. Virtue is the cure.Also, father, something super interesting,
road rage, something we see even in parkinglots at churches. Be careful there. A survey
of the US found that 80% of drivers, and wesay US is North America, 80% of drivers admit
(05:00):
to having felt anger while driving at leastonce a year. Right. So watch out. That's very,
very low. Very low. You haven't been drivingaround recently then. And this is also something
appalling about 8 million of driver, 8 milliondrivers, um, engage in some extreme form of
(05:23):
road rage, such as tailgate, getting off otherdrivers, getting out of the car to confront
someone. Right? So that is also something else.And one more statistic, Father, this is really,
you know that in war places, there has beenused many explosives, and they are called IEDs,
(05:49):
right? And so these devices are called improvisedexplosive devices. Well, but there is a term
in psychology also for anger, and it goes intermittentexplosive disorder. Same thing, IED in both
ways. I've seen that. For us to have an ideaand an IED in a battlefield means for probably
(06:12):
500 to 1000 kilos of explosives. They are, youknow, they easily can transform a tank into
a charred piece of metal, but also an outburstof anger can also, you know, with this intermittent
explosive disorder, IED. So that's also somethingto be very, very careful with. And there is
(06:38):
also one more father, gender differences. Becausethey say that men tend to, we're not making
any discrimination here, but just men tend toreport experiencing and expressing anger more
frequently than women. But women may internalizeanger, leading to stress, anxiety, and even
(07:00):
forms of other... Massive aggression? Well,sicknesses, right? Because when stress and
anxiety are kept in for a long time, they tendto transform themselves into chronic diseases.
So this is something that we have to be carefulabout. It matches very much how genders allow
(07:20):
their angers to explode. Men tend to physicallyharm others while... women tend to poison others.
And so both cases, if this anger is kept internally,you have terrible consequences, hyper pressure,
heart disease, weakened immune systems, andstudies suggest that people who struggle to
(07:47):
manage anger are at a greater risk of cardiovascularproblems. Let me rephrase that again. So studies
suggest that people who struggle to maintain,to manage anger are at the greatest risk of
cardiovascular diseases. So this is not small.And this is not just to get angry at the cat
(08:10):
or I don't know, the neighbours sometimes. Itcan have terrible consequences. And it affects
the way people reason, because when you areunder the emotion of anger, your reason is
different. We lack reason. or you lack reasoning.You say things or you do things and then later
you come back, I wasn't thinking. Exactly. Well,you were consumed by that anger. It clouds
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judgment. Yes. Absolutely. And it's difficultto stop. You don't need virtue to know when,
you know, you have to stop, when you have tomoderate. There are different degrees of anger
also. So you cannot, you know, for somethingvery small. suddenly, you know, explodes in
a very high degree of anger. But that usuallymeans that there's more already, I think it's
(08:55):
more your IED situation. This person's beenencapsulating that for a long time. Yeah. You're
just happy to pour soul that through the lastlittle lit match and it just went up in flames.
Improvised explosive devices are always hiddenand when they explode, they have terrible consequences
(09:16):
and so anger. I mean, when it's hidden and youdon't know, right, where it comes from. But
I mean, what did that interesting is what PadrePio said about that, maintaining peace and
gentleness as a way of controlling that anger,right? Keeping it reasonable. Now, Father,
anger can happen. And yet St. Paul in the letterto the Ephesians, he tells us something about
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that, right? Yes. He says that we have to beangry. when something wrong happens. And I
would think that the most wonderful exampleis the Lord Jesus Christ in the temple. Beautiful.
When he came and he expelled all the money changersand all those who were doing business, you
(10:00):
know, for themselves in the temple. There wasa sacrilege happening. It was a sacrilege.
They were thieves. They were stealing from thesepilgrims. And our Lord wasn't conciliatory,
you know. He didn't go and say, well, we haveto leave. Sorry, I don't want... I'm sorry,
really, I'm a little angry, but you shouldn'tbe here. He made a chord. Beat them. So he
(10:23):
showed the divine anger that we also need tohave for the divine things. But he also controlled
it because as soon as he finished, he went backto normal. Okay, if our Lord had quote unquote
lost it. They wouldn't exist anymore. No, theydestroyed the temple right there. They destroyed
(10:45):
everything, destroyed the world. I mean, heshowed an amazing restraint. And he commented
to say that this miracle actually was even greaterthan the multiplication of fish and bread because
to one person alone, he didn't ask to be helpedby his disciples. He did it on his own. Oh
(11:05):
yeah, oh yes. And how many people were thereselling and buying? Of course. There were hundreds.
Hundreds. our Lord must have been so unstoppablein his. Exactly. But also it was consumed,
and they said that it's in the passage, shesays, consumed by zeal of his father's house.
That's key because it wasn't consumed by angerof himself. It wasn't a selfish anger. No,
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he was putting things in order. Which is different.It's different. When we get anger normally,
is because we want to put things in our order.the way we want, which is not necessarily the
best. But sometimes we think that we are thebest, but it's not. Now, St. Paul here, be
angry, but do not sin. Yeah, in hell it's ahuge reason. It's human sometimes to get, well,
(11:54):
indignant with something, but doesn't mean weare going to, I don't know. to do something
that we're gonna see, the three problems thatcome, right? But also something very interesting,
do not let the sun set on your anger and donot leave room for the devil. Exactly. Father,
when does it happen that we leave room to thedevil? That's the Ephesians, not a lot of Ephesians.
(12:19):
So it's because then when the devil sees thatyou are out of balance, it's much more easy
to control you. and then the devil will comeand will make that anger, take you inside and
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destroy you inside. And if we think who is theperson who is always angry is the devil. He's
always angry. Oh, he's everything. He's resentful,he's angry, he's envious, he's everything.
And for that reason, if you, of course, I'mnot quoting a Catholic church, Paradise Lost
(13:01):
by John Milton, he says the devil is constantlyin the state of reaction because he's not peaceful,
there's no peace. And somehow he wants to poisoneverybody with his anger, correct? But that's
typical. Exactly, he wants to poison with hisanger, which is the anger against God, which
is the worst anger possible. Envy, he's enviousof humans because the humans have what he doesn't.
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He's envious of God because God is still Godand he's not God. And he wants to be God. Wants
to be God, but he knows he can't be God. Andwhat a confusing situation that would be. So
he's in an eternal angry, which is somethingthat has no solution because he lets himself
controlled by that anger forever. But that'sa desire for revenge, right? And that's desire
(13:51):
to get back at. So get back at humanity by stealingthe image of God, by getting back at God directly,
but it's kind of ridiculous because he's neversuccessful, but that consumes a person. And
we humans resemble that aspect of Satan withrevenge. That desire. Precisely. So we need
to remember when we leave our anger, take controlof ourselves, we are imitating the devil. So
(14:17):
be careful. You'll be becoming a devil. Do notleave room. for the devil, Saint Paul says.
Father, we go to a small infomercial, as wecall it, with Father Ryan, and then we come
back, stay until the end, because we are goingto go into three major consequences of anger,
which is harmful words, desire for revenge,destructive behavior. And then, of course,
(14:43):
we have five tips to fight back anger and getout of it in a virtuous manner. Salve Maria!
I'm Fr. Ryan Murphy of the Heralds of the Gospel,and I'm delighted to extend an invitation to
each and every one of you. In the midst of ourbusy lives, it's crucial to take a moment of
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reflection, of soulless end of prayer. That'swhy I would like to personally invite you to
join us every day at 3pm for a special and powerfuldevotion, the Divine Mercy Chaplet. The Divine
Mercy Chaplet is a beautiful prayer that embodiesthe boundless compassion of our Lord. It's
(15:26):
a time to come together as a community, regardlessof where we are and lift up our intentions,
our hopes, and even our burdens to the heartof Jesus. Imagine all around the world, countless
voices, uniting in prayer at this very hour.It's a moment of connection, of spiritual unity.
(15:50):
and of seeking God's mercy in a troubled world.So mark your calendars, set your alarms, and
make a commitment to join us each day at 3 p.m.Tune in and experience the transformative power
of the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Let this be a sanctuaryof peace amidst the noise of life. Thank you
(16:15):
for being a part of our Herald's Canada YouTubechannel. Let's embark on this journey of faith,
hope, and mercy. I'm looking forward to prayingwith you every day at 3pm. May God's love and
mercy shine upon you always. And until we meetagain, may Almighty God bless you, the Father
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and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. So SalveMaria, we continue with this topic of anger.
And we were, we were discussing in the veryfirst part of the program that Anger is a natural
emotion, and yet we must be very, very carefulnot to let it go into a sinful manner, and
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also not to allow negativity to take root. Andtalking about negativity, there are three main
problems, right? So one is harmful words thatare fruit of anger. The other one is desire
for revenge. And the third one here is destructivebehaviour. So, Father, harmful words. We have
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the letter of St. James here. I don't know ifyou would like to take on that one because
it's so interesting when it comes to say thata little word, when it goes off. Of course,
the strength of the word, it's absolutely tremendous.And one word wrongly said can create an earthquake,
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an spiritual earthquake. So it's a real bomb.I need to be very, very careful. And, um, St.
James exactly. He says, my dear brothers, everyoneshould be quick to hear, not to speak to hear.
So you have to listen first to think, you know,to meditate. What you're going to say slow
to speak. So, you know, when you're in, uh,anger, you, you go fast. So speed goes so fast.
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And sometimes you don't reason. The wiser thingto do when you perceive that you're your spirit
has been turned by anger is to walk away. No.You're going to regret everything you're going
to say. Walk away. It's not worth it. Absolutely.That's you have to have the first conviction
that when your anger is taking you, you're goingin the wrong direction. But that takes it if
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you examine your life, if you know yourself,right? Which is this point of wisdom. How many
of our people today examine themselves? Howmany people actually realize that? No, I'm
going to one up that person. This is terrible.You know, there are cases when people fight,
right? And lately I have seen terrible fightsthat happen over email. The person does not
(19:00):
talk to one, they don't talk to one another,they send one email. Problem is that the email
is full of charge. So the person, instead ofreaching out and saying, hey, what's happening,
whatever, no, picks up that email. answers theemail with even more charge back and forth,
back and forth until basically there is a virtual,well, the relationship is completely broken.
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And if we are going to see what is it, likeFather, you were saying, no, it's like a detonator,
no, it's a word or something written. And onceit goes. The worst ones I find with those situations
are that when the person, they say somethingand they mean it maybe in a joking or. sarcastic
way and that other side has had a bad day. Butthings haven't worked out for them. There are
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kind of rough moments and that arrives at thewrong moment. And it just cuts and there's
no way to solve it. Careful with texting, carefulwith WhatsApp because we mean something good,
but the lettering is just doesn't say. Absolutely.It doesn't say, it doesn't specify. Very dangerous,
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very dangerous. We didn't mean it and all ofa sudden, no, you have a person offended forever.
Yeah, could happen, no? St. James calls forpatience and the control of anger. So words
also very careful with the type of words youuse. So if you use unpolite words, words that
are ugly words, et cetera, then you are usingthe language of the devil. Wee, the syntax.
(20:36):
So yeah. You call yourself son of God, but you'respeaking with the words of the devil, no? So
be very careful. So we have to control yourself.As Sam says, you have to be slow to speak,
slow to anger and try to find the right equilibrium.The book of wisdom talks a lot about this,
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and particularly for those people who are inauthority, also those who are older. It's very
unbecoming when you have a person, let's saya grandfather or grandmother or someone older,
and they have a very rude tongue. It's, it'sdestructive to the children because they're
supposed to be looked up to and all they'reseeing is horror and you've damaging, you're
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traumatizing a generation below. So that's kindof important to look at also. Words are important.
That's why it's so important that we have goodvocabularies, but also we are careful what
we say. Next problem, desire for revenge. Whenwe are angry, we want to, all of a sudden,
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get back. I was offended, and then I'm goingto offend him more than he offended me. This
is the worst thing that can happen. And thenjust, and it just escalates. You offend me,
I offend you. You offend. At one point, neitherof us know what the original offense was. And
we, what do we do? Well, we continue offending.And at one point it's completely onto a different
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line. And that's, we have these family warswhere they, it started over. Um, you, your
cow entered my pasture and then 50 years later,they're killing each other in the streets.
And we don't know why, why do you hate eachother so much? No one knows it's this desire
(22:28):
for revenge. Without going further away, thesituation in the middle East right now, I mean,
of course it's a complex situation, but alsohas a root in the lack of forgiveness in all
sides. That is just an escalation. Oh, so youhave the Armenians and the Turks, you have
the, um, the Kurds and the Arabs. that areais filled with a lot of revenge and desire
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for revenge. And yes, things are not forgiventhrough generations, right? And the third problem,
destructive behavior, which comes together withit, right? And eventually can land people in
jail. Oh yes, absolutely. I remember a familythat used to be very close friends, no, they
(23:17):
have some Mediterranean blood, right? And theywere saying, no, you know, I mean, I have to
stop my husband because he doesn't measure.And when he gets into an argument, you know,
what if the other person doesn't stop? Whatis going to happen? Well, obviously, his fingers
are going to escalate and eventually, you know,you may land oneself in jail. Of course, because
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from words, you pass to action. It's logical.Very easily. I saw some videos of road rage.
We were talking about that earlier. So let'sjust say you cut me off. I lose my head, okay?
Now I paid good money for my vehicle. You didtoo, for your vehicle. I am smashing my vehicle
(24:04):
into yours. Like, no, but I'm just not bumping.No, no, I am riding on top of your car. I am
smashing. And at the end, there's nothing left.And you asked the question, how did this all
start? Do I know your name? No, I am just walkingaround with all this anger inside of me. And
do I know who you are? I don't even know whoyou are. You accidentally cut me off in a way
(24:30):
that I didn't like. Maybe it was nothing, butthat reaction is completely without reason.
Here in Canada, it's not that common to carryweapons, but in other countries where weapons
are a little bit more free. how many times justone of the characters pulls a gun and then
does something that is always going to be regrettedbut it's late, it's gone. Exactly. So easy
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to be led by anger to the wrong conclusion,to the wrong things that we would have never
want to do but we do them because of anger.So anger is a very dangerous- Passion. Passion
that we need to control. Something that C.S.Lewis mentioned is that he said that anger
(25:19):
will grow into bitterness and leads to spiritualsufferings because we distance ourselves from
God, unknowing on how we did it, because it'sself-justified. My anger is justified because
this guy is miserable, blah, but I'm destroyingmy own soul in the process. And I'm justified.
(25:42):
And it's even worse because I'm digging thatthorn and putting it deeper and deeper into
my soul where the infection becomes greaterand greater, but I'm justifying it. We're always
running out of time. We cannot go without givingpeople some tips on how to deal with anger
issues. So tip number one we're going to givetoday is step away. Whenever you feel that...
(26:09):
is coming and it's coming up and so on, bestway to walk away, go somewhere else, disengage,
and let's make sure that we don't escalate anything,and at the same time, we just do not bring
things to the worst possibilities. But tip numbertwo, and this is, Father, this is with you,
it's super interesting to guide our audience.Tip number two, nurture your spiritual life.
(26:32):
That's wonderful. Because actually, you willnever... have the strength not even to walk
away if you don't have some sort of spirituallife, some sort of guidance that you know that,
okay, God wants me to do this, the devil wantsme to do the opposite, and I don't want to
do what the devil wants. So I have to controlmyself. And never make any decision when you
(26:58):
are taken by anger because it's going to bewrong. So calm down, you know, think, et cetera.
and then when your spirit is at peace, thenyes, I take a decision. Many of the saints
say, leave it overnight. Just let it be. You'llmake a better decision when you're calm. Professor
Plinio Corrêa de Oliveira, I remember many, manytimes, and he was in a zone cloud, he said,
(27:21):
whenever you're going to tell something to someone,wait three days. Because then the correction
is going to come very cold and balanced, andyou're going to make sure are well received.
Same thing with writing. Let it wait. Writeit, leave it as a draft and then send. Do not
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hit send, do not hit send in that phone. Worstthing that can happen is that you'll be a little
bit late. Best thing that happens, you're alittle bit late. Tip number three, brother
Justin, practice forgiveness. Forgiveness iskey and it's something that I have been listening
to a lot with. Father Carlos Martins, he hasa podcast that he's doing on his experience
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as an exorcist. What does this have to do withexorcism? He talks about that the lack of forgiveness
is the greatest door the devil uses to enterthe soul. And a lot of possessions happen because
a person cannot or will not allow forgivenessto happen. So when he gets the person in that
point, he has them forgive that person who mayhave harmed them. And that element, the devil
(28:33):
is abhorrent of forgiveness. He hates forgiveness.And with that, the person is able to be healed.
He hates forgiveness because he has refusedforgiveness. He doesn't want to be forgiven.
And this is his hell actually. His spiritualhell is this. So he wants to introduce that
same feeling in the other person. But isn'tthat what he does at period? Everything that
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he does. He applies to the human through temptationsand what have you. Everything's always the
same. Father, tip number four, a remedy foranger issues to ponder on God's justice. So
could you explain that a little bit? Yes, exactly,because if you think, okay, I'm going to be
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judged according to what I say, to what I do,et cetera. So if I think on my last things,
one of them is not judgment, If I think thenwisdom will come to me. I will become wiser.
I will become more, you know, more peacefuland more reasonable. And that will help me
(29:42):
to control my anger. Think, you know, that whatare you going to say? What are you going to
do? You're going to be judged because of this.St. Ignatius has a line that's very interesting.
When we're tempted to sin, think that the mostrespected person, you know, your father, your
grandfather. is right beside you, because that'swhat God is. God's always present. We don't
(30:03):
sin outside of God, but we sin within God. God'sall around us. And that same idea, we understand
that God's near us and he sees what we're doing.Nothing is done in seclusion. Tip number five,
last but not least, seek help when needed. Andof course, this applies to professional help
as well. Some good psychologist, a good advisor.but also a good confessor. A confessor also,
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you can go and speak to your confessor, go toconfession, you know, I'm being tempted of
anger, you know, and maybe one word that theconfessor will give you, it will solve the
problem. Suddenly, your feeling, your emotionof anger will disappear and then you will become
normal again. Because it's a temptation, it'sa time. That's another thing also noted is
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that they said that a good confession is wortha thousand exorcisms. Oh, exactly. Father,
we have to wrap up right now because we havea half an hour, it's always short, but. No,
we hope this is useful. And of course, prayer.Prayer is the solution for everything, you
know, to finish. Therefore, we are going topray with you. We're going to give you the
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blessing. The Lord be with you. And with yourspirit. May Almighty God bless you, the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Salve Maria.
Salve Maria, welcome to this episode. Todaywe are talking about anger. And we're talking
about the causes of anger, the consequencesof anger, and also something very constructive,
how to control your anger. Stay until the end,because we are going to go into three major
consequences of anger, which is harmful words,desire for revenge, destructive behaviour. And
(00:23):
then of course, we have five tips to fight backanger and... get out of it in a virtuous manner.
Welcome to Salve Maria, the podcast of the Heraldsof the Gospel.
So, Salve Maria, Fr. Arthur. Salve Maria. SalveMaria, Br. Justin. Salve Maria. And so, Father,
(00:48):
what is anger? Because sometimes we tend toidentify it with something that, of course,
is an outrage, but why is it so difficult whenit comes to the spiritual life? Of course,
first of all, it's an emotion. It's a reactionof your person, your emotion, your feelings
(01:10):
to something. And if it is something bad, youcan get anger rightly. That's the good anger.
But if it is something good, but it doesn'tmake you happy, then you have a selfish indignation.
You have a selfish reaction. You stepped onmy foot. Exactly, you're reacting because of
(01:31):
you and not because of justice. There is nohigher meaning. Exactly. So that's the anger
that we're going to talk about, the bad anger.The one that we have to spiritualize, right?
Because... We all are victims of something wrong.Life has frustrations and also has, you know,
things that are not right. And it's obviousthat we have to react. No, I mean, otherwise
(01:54):
we. This has been a problem since the very beginning.All of the classic writers talk about it. Right.
So it's really important that we understandthat and make it very concrete because Plato,
Aristotle, Aquinas all treat on the subjectextensively. So it's important that we practicalize
it, make sure we're very much pointed on theissue, why it's so important. Of course, our
(02:20):
Lord talks about it too, but it's deeply human.It's the human experience. Maybe the first
sin after original sin was the one of Cain.He got angry against his brother. So it was
very serious. God comes and asks him, why areyou angry? Why? Of course, God knew why, but
(02:43):
he wanted Cain to reflect on this. What's keyis what St. Thomas Aquinas said about it is
that it's not regulated by reason, right? Exactly.This is, I think you're going to get into later
on with rages of sorts, which is that there'sno reason involved. It's not controlled. It
can be good, but in our day to day, most timesit's wrong. It's selfish. It's wrong. It's
(03:07):
filled. It's fueled by. jealousies and enviesand other things. Now, the statistics on anger
are appalling because we go and many times wetend to think that this is not, we are not
part of it sometimes, right? And for us to realizethat eventually there is a problem with anger,
(03:28):
we need also to make a good examination of conscience,make, we need to examine, right? what we do
in everyday life. And we need to realize thatthe world is much more filled with anger than
what we imagine. I think we can put it, theworld is angry. For instance, 22% of workers,
(03:49):
and this is the American Psychological Association,reports that 22% of workers in the American
workforce suffer of anger towards colleaguesat work with some... indicating that stress
and workplace conditions are key facts. That'sone aspect. Can I go just go one point? It's
(04:14):
really important. It's something that St. Thomasmentioned as well, St. Rome, is that the key
element to remedy anger is virtue. And one thingin our world that we have very little of is
virtue. So when there's very little virtue,we're going to have a lot of anger. We're going
to have a lot of everything, but it's importantto keep that point in mind. It isn't mindfulness
(04:36):
sitting in corners and meditating on green walls.No, it's virtue. It's the love of God. That's
going to solve your problem. Virtue is the cure.Also, father, something super interesting,
road rage, something we see even in parkinglots at churches. Be careful there. A survey
of the US found that 80% of drivers, and wesay US is North America, 80% of drivers admit
(05:00):
to having felt anger while driving at leastonce a year. Right. So watch out. That's very,
very low. Very low. You haven't been drivingaround recently then. And this is also something
appalling about 8 million of driver, 8 milliondrivers, um, engage in some extreme form of
(05:23):
road rage, such as tailgate, getting off otherdrivers, getting out of the car to confront
someone. Right? So that is also something else.And one more statistic, Father, this is really,
you know that in war places, there has beenused many explosives, and they are called IEDs,
(05:49):
right? And so these devices are called improvisedexplosive devices. Well, but there is a term
in psychology also for anger, and it goes intermittentexplosive disorder. Same thing, IED in both
ways. I've seen that. For us to have an ideaand an IED in a battlefield means for probably
(06:12):
500 to 1000 kilos of explosives. They are, youknow, they easily can transform a tank into
a charred piece of metal, but also an outburstof anger can also, you know, with this intermittent
explosive disorder, IED. So that's also somethingto be very, very careful with. And there is
(06:38):
also one more father, gender differences. Becausethey say that men tend to, we're not making
any discrimination here, but just men tend toreport experiencing and expressing anger more
frequently than women. But women may internalizeanger, leading to stress, anxiety, and even
(07:00):
forms of other... Massive aggression? Well,sicknesses, right? Because when stress and
anxiety are kept in for a long time, they tendto transform themselves into chronic diseases.
So this is something that we have to be carefulabout. It matches very much how genders allow
(07:20):
their angers to explode. Men tend to physicallyharm others while... women tend to poison others.
And so both cases, if this anger is kept internally,you have terrible consequences, hyper pressure,
heart disease, weakened immune systems, andstudies suggest that people who struggle to
(07:47):
manage anger are at a greater risk of cardiovascularproblems. Let me rephrase that again. So studies
suggest that people who struggle to maintain,to manage anger are at the greatest risk of
cardiovascular diseases. So this is not small.And this is not just to get angry at the cat
(08:10):
or I don't know, the neighbours sometimes. Itcan have terrible consequences. And it affects
the way people reason, because when you areunder the emotion of anger, your reason is
different. We lack reason. or you lack reasoning.You say things or you do things and then later
you come back, I wasn't thinking. Exactly. Well,you were consumed by that anger. It clouds
(08:34):
judgment. Yes. Absolutely. And it's difficultto stop. You don't need virtue to know when,
you know, you have to stop, when you have tomoderate. There are different degrees of anger
also. So you cannot, you know, for somethingvery small. suddenly, you know, explodes in
a very high degree of anger. But that usuallymeans that there's more already, I think it's
(08:55):
more your IED situation. This person's beenencapsulating that for a long time. Yeah. You're
just happy to pour soul that through the lastlittle lit match and it just went up in flames.
Improvised explosive devices are always hiddenand when they explode, they have terrible consequences
(09:16):
and so anger. I mean, when it's hidden and youdon't know, right, where it comes from. But
I mean, what did that interesting is what PadrePio said about that, maintaining peace and
gentleness as a way of controlling that anger,right? Keeping it reasonable. Now, Father,
anger can happen. And yet St. Paul in the letterto the Ephesians, he tells us something about
(09:39):
that, right? Yes. He says that we have to beangry. when something wrong happens. And I
would think that the most wonderful exampleis the Lord Jesus Christ in the temple. Beautiful.
When he came and he expelled all the money changersand all those who were doing business, you
(10:00):
know, for themselves in the temple. There wasa sacrilege happening. It was a sacrilege.
They were thieves. They were stealing from thesepilgrims. And our Lord wasn't conciliatory,
you know. He didn't go and say, well, we haveto leave. Sorry, I don't want... I'm sorry,
really, I'm a little angry, but you shouldn'tbe here. He made a chord. Beat them. So he
(10:23):
showed the divine anger that we also need tohave for the divine things. But he also controlled
it because as soon as he finished, he went backto normal. Okay, if our Lord had quote unquote
lost it. They wouldn't exist anymore. No, theydestroyed the temple right there. They destroyed
(10:45):
everything, destroyed the world. I mean, heshowed an amazing restraint. And he commented
to say that this miracle actually was even greaterthan the multiplication of fish and bread because
to one person alone, he didn't ask to be helpedby his disciples. He did it on his own. Oh
(11:05):
yeah, oh yes. And how many people were thereselling and buying? Of course. There were hundreds.
Hundreds. our Lord must have been so unstoppablein his. Exactly. But also it was consumed,
and they said that it's in the passage, shesays, consumed by zeal of his father's house.
That's key because it wasn't consumed by angerof himself. It wasn't a selfish anger. No,
(11:29):
he was putting things in order. Which is different.It's different. When we get anger normally,
is because we want to put things in our order.the way we want, which is not necessarily the
best. But sometimes we think that we are thebest, but it's not. Now, St. Paul here, be
angry, but do not sin. Yeah, in hell it's ahuge reason. It's human sometimes to get, well,
(11:54):
indignant with something, but doesn't mean weare going to, I don't know. to do something
that we're gonna see, the three problems thatcome, right? But also something very interesting,
do not let the sun set on your anger and donot leave room for the devil. Exactly. Father,
when does it happen that we leave room to thedevil? That's the Ephesians, not a lot of Ephesians.
(12:19):
So it's because then when the devil sees thatyou are out of balance, it's much more easy
to control you. and then the devil will comeand will make that anger, take you inside and
(12:39):
destroy you inside. And if we think who is theperson who is always angry is the devil. He's
always angry. Oh, he's everything. He's resentful,he's angry, he's envious, he's everything.
And for that reason, if you, of course, I'mnot quoting a Catholic church, Paradise Lost
(13:01):
by John Milton, he says the devil is constantlyin the state of reaction because he's not peaceful,
there's no peace. And somehow he wants to poisoneverybody with his anger, correct? But that's
typical. Exactly, he wants to poison with hisanger, which is the anger against God, which
is the worst anger possible. Envy, he's enviousof humans because the humans have what he doesn't.
(13:26):
He's envious of God because God is still Godand he's not God. And he wants to be God. Wants
to be God, but he knows he can't be God. Andwhat a confusing situation that would be. So
he's in an eternal angry, which is somethingthat has no solution because he lets himself
controlled by that anger forever. But that'sa desire for revenge, right? And that's desire
(13:51):
to get back at. So get back at humanity by stealingthe image of God, by getting back at God directly,
but it's kind of ridiculous because he's neversuccessful, but that consumes a person. And
we humans resemble that aspect of Satan withrevenge. That desire. Precisely. So we need
to remember when we leave our anger, take controlof ourselves, we are imitating the devil. So
(14:17):
be careful. You'll be becoming a devil. Do notleave room. for the devil, Saint Paul says.
Father, we go to a small infomercial, as wecall it, with Father Ryan, and then we come
back, stay until the end, because we are goingto go into three major consequences of anger,
which is harmful words, desire for revenge,destructive behavior. And then, of course,
(14:43):
we have five tips to fight back anger and getout of it in a virtuous manner. Salve Maria!
I'm Fr. Ryan Murphy of the Heralds of the Gospel,and I'm delighted to extend an invitation to
each and every one of you. In the midst of ourbusy lives, it's crucial to take a moment of
(15:04):
reflection, of soulless end of prayer. That'swhy I would like to personally invite you to
join us every day at 3pm for a special and powerfuldevotion, the Divine Mercy Chaplet. The Divine
Mercy Chaplet is a beautiful prayer that embodiesthe boundless compassion of our Lord. It's
(15:26):
a time to come together as a community, regardlessof where we are and lift up our intentions,
our hopes, and even our burdens to the heartof Jesus. Imagine all around the world, countless
voices, uniting in prayer at this very hour.It's a moment of connection, of spiritual unity.
(15:50):
and of seeking God's mercy in a troubled world.So mark your calendars, set your alarms, and
make a commitment to join us each day at 3 p.m.Tune in and experience the transformative power
of the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Let this be a sanctuaryof peace amidst the noise of life. Thank you
(16:15):
for being a part of our Herald's Canada YouTubechannel. Let's embark on this journey of faith,
hope, and mercy. I'm looking forward to prayingwith you every day at 3pm. May God's love and
mercy shine upon you always. And until we meetagain, may Almighty God bless you, the Father
(16:37):
and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. So SalveMaria, we continue with this topic of anger.
And we were, we were discussing in the veryfirst part of the program that Anger is a natural
emotion, and yet we must be very, very carefulnot to let it go into a sinful manner, and
(16:59):
also not to allow negativity to take root. Andtalking about negativity, there are three main
problems, right? So one is harmful words thatare fruit of anger. The other one is desire
for revenge. And the third one here is destructivebehaviour. So, Father, harmful words. We have
(17:20):
the letter of St. James here. I don't know ifyou would like to take on that one because
it's so interesting when it comes to say thata little word, when it goes off. Of course,
the strength of the word, it's absolutely tremendous.And one word wrongly said can create an earthquake,
(17:44):
an spiritual earthquake. So it's a real bomb.I need to be very, very careful. And, um, St.
James exactly. He says, my dear brothers, everyoneshould be quick to hear, not to speak to hear.
So you have to listen first to think, you know,to meditate. What you're going to say slow
to speak. So, you know, when you're in, uh,anger, you, you go fast. So speed goes so fast.
(18:12):
And sometimes you don't reason. The wiser thingto do when you perceive that you're your spirit
has been turned by anger is to walk away. No.You're going to regret everything you're going
to say. Walk away. It's not worth it. Absolutely.That's you have to have the first conviction
that when your anger is taking you, you're goingin the wrong direction. But that takes it if
(18:33):
you examine your life, if you know yourself,right? Which is this point of wisdom. How many
of our people today examine themselves? Howmany people actually realize that? No, I'm
going to one up that person. This is terrible.You know, there are cases when people fight,
right? And lately I have seen terrible fightsthat happen over email. The person does not
(19:00):
talk to one, they don't talk to one another,they send one email. Problem is that the email
is full of charge. So the person, instead ofreaching out and saying, hey, what's happening,
whatever, no, picks up that email. answers theemail with even more charge back and forth,
back and forth until basically there is a virtual,well, the relationship is completely broken.
(19:23):
And if we are going to see what is it, likeFather, you were saying, no, it's like a detonator,
no, it's a word or something written. And onceit goes. The worst ones I find with those situations
are that when the person, they say somethingand they mean it maybe in a joking or. sarcastic
way and that other side has had a bad day. Butthings haven't worked out for them. There are
(19:50):
kind of rough moments and that arrives at thewrong moment. And it just cuts and there's
no way to solve it. Careful with texting, carefulwith WhatsApp because we mean something good,
but the lettering is just doesn't say. Absolutely.It doesn't say, it doesn't specify. Very dangerous,
(20:12):
very dangerous. We didn't mean it and all ofa sudden, no, you have a person offended forever.
Yeah, could happen, no? St. James calls forpatience and the control of anger. So words
also very careful with the type of words youuse. So if you use unpolite words, words that
are ugly words, et cetera, then you are usingthe language of the devil. Wee, the syntax.
(20:36):
So yeah. You call yourself son of God, but you'respeaking with the words of the devil, no? So
be very careful. So we have to control yourself.As Sam says, you have to be slow to speak,
slow to anger and try to find the right equilibrium.The book of wisdom talks a lot about this,
(21:00):
and particularly for those people who are inauthority, also those who are older. It's very
unbecoming when you have a person, let's saya grandfather or grandmother or someone older,
and they have a very rude tongue. It's, it'sdestructive to the children because they're
supposed to be looked up to and all they'reseeing is horror and you've damaging, you're
(21:23):
traumatizing a generation below. So that's kindof important to look at also. Words are important.
That's why it's so important that we have goodvocabularies, but also we are careful what
we say. Next problem, desire for revenge. Whenwe are angry, we want to, all of a sudden,
(21:45):
get back. I was offended, and then I'm goingto offend him more than he offended me. This
is the worst thing that can happen. And thenjust, and it just escalates. You offend me,
I offend you. You offend. At one point, neitherof us know what the original offense was. And
we, what do we do? Well, we continue offending.And at one point it's completely onto a different
(22:07):
line. And that's, we have these family warswhere they, it started over. Um, you, your
cow entered my pasture and then 50 years later,they're killing each other in the streets.
And we don't know why, why do you hate eachother so much? No one knows it's this desire
(22:28):
for revenge. Without going further away, thesituation in the middle East right now, I mean,
of course it's a complex situation, but alsohas a root in the lack of forgiveness in all
sides. That is just an escalation. Oh, so youhave the Armenians and the Turks, you have
the, um, the Kurds and the Arabs. that areais filled with a lot of revenge and desire
(22:54):
for revenge. And yes, things are not forgiventhrough generations, right? And the third problem,
destructive behavior, which comes together withit, right? And eventually can land people in
jail. Oh yes, absolutely. I remember a familythat used to be very close friends, no, they
(23:17):
have some Mediterranean blood, right? And theywere saying, no, you know, I mean, I have to
stop my husband because he doesn't measure.And when he gets into an argument, you know,
what if the other person doesn't stop? Whatis going to happen? Well, obviously, his fingers
are going to escalate and eventually, you know,you may land oneself in jail. Of course, because
(23:40):
from words, you pass to action. It's logical.Very easily. I saw some videos of road rage.
We were talking about that earlier. So let'sjust say you cut me off. I lose my head, okay?
Now I paid good money for my vehicle. You didtoo, for your vehicle. I am smashing my vehicle
(24:04):
into yours. Like, no, but I'm just not bumping.No, no, I am riding on top of your car. I am
smashing. And at the end, there's nothing left.And you asked the question, how did this all
start? Do I know your name? No, I am just walkingaround with all this anger inside of me. And
do I know who you are? I don't even know whoyou are. You accidentally cut me off in a way
(24:30):
that I didn't like. Maybe it was nothing, butthat reaction is completely without reason.
Here in Canada, it's not that common to carryweapons, but in other countries where weapons
are a little bit more free. how many times justone of the characters pulls a gun and then
does something that is always going to be regrettedbut it's late, it's gone. Exactly. So easy
(24:57):
to be led by anger to the wrong conclusion,to the wrong things that we would have never
want to do but we do them because of anger.So anger is a very dangerous- Passion. Passion
that we need to control. Something that C.S.Lewis mentioned is that he said that anger
(25:19):
will grow into bitterness and leads to spiritualsufferings because we distance ourselves from
God, unknowing on how we did it, because it'sself-justified. My anger is justified because
this guy is miserable, blah, but I'm destroyingmy own soul in the process. And I'm justified.
(25:42):
And it's even worse because I'm digging thatthorn and putting it deeper and deeper into
my soul where the infection becomes greaterand greater, but I'm justifying it. We're always
running out of time. We cannot go without givingpeople some tips on how to deal with anger
issues. So tip number one we're going to givetoday is step away. Whenever you feel that...
(26:09):
is coming and it's coming up and so on, bestway to walk away, go somewhere else, disengage,
and let's make sure that we don't escalate anything,and at the same time, we just do not bring
things to the worst possibilities. But tip numbertwo, and this is, Father, this is with you,
it's super interesting to guide our audience.Tip number two, nurture your spiritual life.
(26:32):
That's wonderful. Because actually, you willnever... have the strength not even to walk
away if you don't have some sort of spirituallife, some sort of guidance that you know that,
okay, God wants me to do this, the devil wantsme to do the opposite, and I don't want to
do what the devil wants. So I have to controlmyself. And never make any decision when you
(26:58):
are taken by anger because it's going to bewrong. So calm down, you know, think, et cetera.
and then when your spirit is at peace, thenyes, I take a decision. Many of the saints
say, leave it overnight. Just let it be. You'llmake a better decision when you're calm. Professor
Plinio Corrêa de Oliveira, I remember many, manytimes, and he was in a zone cloud, he said,
(27:21):
whenever you're going to tell something to someone,wait three days. Because then the correction
is going to come very cold and balanced, andyou're going to make sure are well received.
Same thing with writing. Let it wait. Writeit, leave it as a draft and then send. Do not
(27:41):
hit send, do not hit send in that phone. Worstthing that can happen is that you'll be a little
bit late. Best thing that happens, you're alittle bit late. Tip number three, brother
Justin, practice forgiveness. Forgiveness iskey and it's something that I have been listening
to a lot with. Father Carlos Martins, he hasa podcast that he's doing on his experience
(28:06):
as an exorcist. What does this have to do withexorcism? He talks about that the lack of forgiveness
is the greatest door the devil uses to enterthe soul. And a lot of possessions happen because
a person cannot or will not allow forgivenessto happen. So when he gets the person in that
point, he has them forgive that person who mayhave harmed them. And that element, the devil
(28:33):
is abhorrent of forgiveness. He hates forgiveness.And with that, the person is able to be healed.
He hates forgiveness because he has refusedforgiveness. He doesn't want to be forgiven.
And this is his hell actually. His spiritualhell is this. So he wants to introduce that
same feeling in the other person. But isn'tthat what he does at period? Everything that
(28:58):
he does. He applies to the human through temptationsand what have you. Everything's always the
same. Father, tip number four, a remedy foranger issues to ponder on God's justice. So
could you explain that a little bit? Yes, exactly,because if you think, okay, I'm going to be
(29:18):
judged according to what I say, to what I do,et cetera. So if I think on my last things,
one of them is not judgment, If I think thenwisdom will come to me. I will become wiser.
I will become more, you know, more peacefuland more reasonable. And that will help me
(29:42):
to control my anger. Think, you know, that whatare you going to say? What are you going to
do? You're going to be judged because of this.St. Ignatius has a line that's very interesting.
When we're tempted to sin, think that the mostrespected person, you know, your father, your
grandfather. is right beside you, because that'swhat God is. God's always present. We don't
(30:03):
sin outside of God, but we sin within God. God'sall around us. And that same idea, we understand
that God's near us and he sees what we're doing.Nothing is done in seclusion. Tip number five,
last but not least, seek help when needed. Andof course, this applies to professional help
as well. Some good psychologist, a good advisor.but also a good confessor. A confessor also,
(30:28):
you can go and speak to your confessor, go toconfession, you know, I'm being tempted of
anger, you know, and maybe one word that theconfessor will give you, it will solve the
problem. Suddenly, your feeling, your emotionof anger will disappear and then you will become
normal again. Because it's a temptation, it'sa time. That's another thing also noted is
(30:49):
that they said that a good confession is wortha thousand exorcisms. Oh, exactly. Father,
we have to wrap up right now because we havea half an hour, it's always short, but. No,
we hope this is useful. And of course, prayer.Prayer is the solution for everything, you
know, to finish. Therefore, we are going topray with you. We're going to give you the
(31:16):
blessing. The Lord be with you. And with yourspirit. May Almighty God bless you, the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Salve Maria.
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